Today is another day where I can’t just write what I want to say – I need to “show and tell” you. In today’s short video message below I share how God walked me through a process of looking back with courage – so I could move forward with hope. He helped me identify things I didn’t even know were affecting me and gently led my heart on a journey towards freedom – showing me how to of let go of the pain from my yesterdays so I could live with confident hope in my todays… and tomorrows.
{Are you a note-taker? If so, I created “Video Message Notes” in a PDF format here or in a MSWord doc here, just for you. Even included key verses and blanks to fill in.} 🙂
Today’s Giveaway:
I’m giving away 3 Confident Heart gift packs for 3 of you. Each one includes a copy of my book, A Confident Heart {for you or a friend?}, my “Rest Assured” message on CD and a Starbucks gift card!
Let’s Connect {and how to enter today’s drawing}:
I’d love to hear how God speaks to you through today’s video message… and this is an easy way to enter today’s giveaway too. Just click “share your thoughts” right below this post and do just that. I’ll be here reading and praying over each of you and your stories. {Also, I know the timelines I encourage you to create might sound overwhelming or scary, so I recorded a little video message to talk/walk you through that process – If you’d like to hear more click here to watch it after you share your thoughts below.}
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Dear Renee,
I just discovered this site today, and have truly been blessed! I read the Proverbs 31 every day but have not really had the time to go elsewhere when it directs. Today God led me to your site where you are going through your book “A Confident Heart” and it sounded amazing. When I read that you were giving a free copy of your book and CD away I thought I had to at least try to win it as I can tell it definitely a book that could help me immensely. Your video message really blessed and encouraged me, and I am not afraid of looking at the past . . . regardless of the pain it holds, because I know every time I trust God to take me back He heals me a little more each time and takes me from glory to glory.
Right now, I am going through a very difficult season in my life as my ex-husband molested my daughter when she was only 3 1/2 . . . she just turned 9 this March. So for the past 6 years I have been fighting to protect my daughter. During this time I have been able to, by the grace of God, maintain full custody without my ex-husband having even a moment of supervised visitation. HOWEVER, I just went through a 2 week Trial in February which was brutal, and at the end of the Trial . . . in spite of the hard evidence and evil that was revealed, the Judged ruled sole physical custody to me and joint legal to both of us with a plan for RE-UNIFICATION!!! Needless to say I have been terrified at the very prospect of that ever happening . . . yet, that is what the State of California’s laws state . . . RE-UNIFICATION regardless of what a parent does to their child!!! I really believe God has been calling me to try and change the laws, and I know for the last 6 years He has indeed set precedence in our case . . . and I have to believe He won’t stop now . . . even though with my human eyes I can’t even imagine how God will be able to rescue and protect us from the evil and corruption of our legal system . . . but as long as I have air in my lungs I will keep fighting to protect my beautiful daughter! It has already cost me well in excess of $150,000.00 to date, while my ex-husband has not paid a single dime because he works for the State of California and has free legal counsel through his work!!! Hence all of this has really been taking it’s toll on my precious daughter and me, BUT, I will keep pressing on and TRUSTING the Lord regardless of what it looks like.
When I heard your message and it talked about the past, I cringed at first, then I realized that God wants me to do some more work with regards to my past . . . you see, my ex-husband thought if my daughter ever told me what he did to her, that I would be too afraid or ashamed to do anything about it because I had been molested as a child from the age of 4-13, that was when I finally told someone. What my ex-husband did not count on was that my “love” for my daughter far outweighed all the shame and fear of the authorities (who did nothing to protect me or my sisters when we were little). Needless to say, God has been bringing me full-circle for the past 6 years, and I know that His Word promises me that “What the enemy intends for evil HE intends for good!” That is my life verse and I have seen God redeem so many things in my life and turn what the enemy intended for evil into some not only good, but WONDERFUL beyond words . . . like laying my daughter in my arms as a new born (I adopted her from my best friend who had been in a head on car accident and was left with physical disabilities and a brain injury — her husband was left with the same injuries only from a motorcycle accident — they met in physical therapy)!! You see this is beyond a miracle because I was never able to have children because of the sexual abuse I endured as a child . . . yet, I know today that God created me for such a time as this . . . to protect my daughter!!! Today I am grateful I worked on my issues when I was younger so I would have the strength I now need to fight to protect my beautiful little girl. But as you know, dealing with, and healing from, our past is a “process” . . . one in which God is perfecting and healing us, until the day He calls us home.
As such, I would absolutely love to be the winner of your contest for your book and CD because I really need something right now to help me through this process and cannot really afford it at this juncture in my life as I am and have been buried in legal fees for the last 6 years and do not see an end in sight. So, I will TRUST this into God’s hand, and if this is where He wants me to go next, I will follow and obey.
Regardless of whether or not I win the contest, I need you to know that I am so grateful to you and your Devotionals on the Proverbs 31 website. God has used you in such powerful ways over the past year since I discovered the Proverbs 31 ministry. Thank you for your obedience and faithfulness to God. I pray that the Lord will continue to Bless You and your ministry.
The Daughter of the King,
~ Bonnie ~
Bonnie,
I am praying for you and your daughter. God, bless Bonnie and her beautiful child, heal, make whole, set free and God change or remove her ex-husband in Jesus Mighty Name Amen. August Rose
Jeremiah 29:11 is posted in my office but honestly, I don’t remember reading past verse 11. Thank you for reminding me to read the rest of the chapter and to seek Him for all the answers.
Jeremiah 29;11 keep speaking to me of late, i know that there is a lot of things that i need to process from my past to move forward. I know that i need to trust God completely to bring me to the place He wants to take me .I need a special prayer of deliverance on this one Renee,God bless
Your video spoke to me. Thank you so much.
I have been with Isaiah 61 in preparation for Women’s Day this month- I have learned I need to pay close attention when God brings me His word over and over- Chapter 4 also capture God speaking to me from my study for this year- If you seek me with your whole heart you will find me- I have visited many of God’s seeking me invitation this year-you helped me to see how I need to begin living this invitation daily by surrendering (a struggle for me to do in the manner God would have me to) my plans for His- every time I come to Him, talk to Him and really believe He is listening I get His plans for me, I wasn’t going to do the timeline because I didn’t think I would be able to remember when events occurred when exactly doubt begin to become a part of my life- but your video help- I may not do it the way you intended but I am now open to processing the pain, hurt, disappointments with Christ- the need to move on is far greater than the need to stay in the past- healing looks beautiful- it times to let the ashes go and put on the crown of beauty. Thanks Renee for letting the Spirit be upon you. For finally living Isaiah 61 1-2.
I have beat myself up on a daily basis over so many past mistakes. Recently someone told me that someone from my past will be coming into my space by attending church where I worship. I have not seen this person in many years and the thought of facing them has taken me back over 20 years to a very dark place. I have wondered, why now? What is this all about? Is it a cruel punishment that these consequences live on? Someone reminded me that God does not operate to hurt but to heal. Your message today is confirmation of that. I cannot move on completely until this pain is healed. Maybe I need to stare it in the face in order that its power over me be broken. I appreciate your message and will appreciate your prayers.
I’m pregnant, not sleeping at all, and exhausted every day. I loved in your video when you talked about taking each “day by day, moment by moment, doubt by doubt”, because it is so easy right now to be so easily overwhelmed by all the ways I’m feeling I fall short….and while I have a wonderful husband who keeps reminding me this is just a passing season, I needed your reminder about taking it all “doubt by doubt” and trusting each untruth to Jesus to be rewritten by Him with His truth. If I could only master that for every hour of every day! 🙂 Thank you for sharing your struggles with your past. I find that right now in my state of sheer exhaustion, I revert back to old habits of my own mother when I was a child, because it’s “what I know”. I need to remember that moment by moment, Jesus is molding me into a different kind of mother, one that looks to Him first for her strength and endurance. And I love the reminder that my responsibility is to GO to Him and the Father in prayer, and SEEK the truth!
Really do appreciate your honesty and obedience to share. This is a tough chapter and hope to glean from all that is in store for me as I am open to what God has for me. It would be wonderful to be free from the past and decisions made that affect me today. I am reading your book for the second time and loving it again. I bought copies for every woman in my family and hope to share more with my friends as well. I love the videos you share too. Thanks for sharing.
Chris
Renee mentioned the struggles her daughter is facing in the video. I so relate to that as I had a challenging childhood-i cannot almost imagine my childhood without remembering me and my mother in a doctor’s office. I have a severe to profound hearing loss, have both ADD and Asperger tendendices, and have Type II Diabetes.
I was thinking back to my chihood-trying to identify where it all started. I was around 4 or 5 when this happened-my parents told me that the dr’s came out and told them “she kept telling us I’m going to be okay”
With all the stuff that happened in my childhood, I had the attitude of “I’m going to be okay” from that forward on. I put on a brave front and developed the attitude of i’m going to be okay-for myself because I wanted to be okay in the future. I overlooked alot of things in my adulthood-causing alot of problems, had a couple of online relationships that I’m not proud of.
God revealed that I didn’t depend on him enough to meet my needs in the past and to rely on him even though I do have a severe hearing loss. He revealed stuff today at work-putting my past in perspective.
I thought long
Renee. Wow what a powerful video. The part that resonated most for me was the last section when you quoted from the book directly. This study has been such a blessing. I even had a moment today That would normally make me doubt myself and incorporated some of the promises from the previous download and felt better immediately!!
Renee,
Thank you for being so open and honest with us! When you share your heart, it makes so much sense to me-I have been through similar circumstances; my parents divorced when I was young and I have the same fear of abandonment and trust issues. I also tried to make my husband be the perfect spouse by control. I am working on all these issues, and it really helps to know that other Christian women are going through the same fears and doubts as I am.
Renee,
I want to thank you for sharing your past and, most especially, your hope. I find myself in tears listening to you speak of a past that creeps into your present and how it manifests itself in your behaviors. I’ve fallen into an on again, off again depression since losing my dream job 7 months ago (with the job went my home at a time I was already dealing with an ’empty nest’ and the loss of a close loved one).
I KNOW God has a plan for me; I TRUST in His word; but I have whole weeks of crying that just won’t stop. I’m blessed with awesome women in my church who pray for me daily and anoint me whenever they get the chance :-). I look for His blessings daily and I see them; I just can’t seem to shake an overwhelming sense of being alone. I go to God and cry my heart out and He shows me I’m not alone. But I still can’t shake the feelings. Your message makes me wonder if this isn’t my past coming up to slap me in the face 🙂 My father was a drug addict and had serious psychological issues as well. My parents divorced after some serious violence had taken place while I was still pretty young. The last time I saw him was at his funeral (he died of a drug overdose, alone) while I was pregnant with my first child. I wonder if the overwhelming sadness and fear I’m experiencing stems from all of that………..
Thanks for having the courage to share….
Penny
Thank you for your message. I am dealing with past issues right now. It has been hard, but I can truly say I feel God present in my life for the first time. The book helps me believe more and more daily that he does have a plan for me.
Wow this is a powerful nugget! Thank you for posting this I’ve been following in twitter. Things have just seemed to be overwhelming lately with finances and I know this may sound silly but praying for a future husband. In my head I had this idea before 25 I want to be married. Well with graduating college soon I’ve def have been leaving it all in Gods hands. Being away from home now for the last two years of college was a hard move. Making new friends and finding a home church I see all god has done and continuing to do for me. But like you said its a healing process and I feel like the devil tries to brig up hurts in the past to kill my joy. I have hurts that only God knows about. Is that healthy? The thoughts creep up of the past and I sometimes feel like I’ll never find someone because I struggle to trust people and by people I mean guys. I’m continuing to pray for his will and vision in the ministry I’m in now helping young girls and college students in my generation!! I feel like im still in the healing process and realize that as soon as this is over God will bless me with an aweosme husband! I think ive come a long way in my walk with God and yes I have been at a point where disappointment seems to creep in and I ask the why?? Just being in a financial struggle really hurts more than I thought. Im believing in such a breakthrough! I think I’ve viewed God small enoough! I’m praying big. I don’t want to be self ambitious but he know my heart! I know there is a purpose for my pain and making me a strong girl right now. I thank God for my family and friends for what I do have! Thanks for the encouragement!!
Oh Renee, How you have blessed me.. i really needed to hear this tonite. I wonder so much what is His plan for me and for my family. So many crushing hurts from other Christians. This has been such an encouragement.. Thank you and know you and you sweet family are always in my prayers!!
I recieved your book “A Confident Heart” today. I’ve read thru to Chapter 4. Reading the posts I wondered if I would throw the book. No, I didn’t. I ‘m thrilled, happy, that God has a plan for me. Looking forward to finishing the book. I know God has been nudgeing me to come out of myself and share my story. We don’t have to be identified by our past. However, telling of our past can set another free to living God’s plan for them. Praise and all Glory belong to God!
You said you tried to create the happily ever after that you didn’t have in your family of origin. My parents were married until death separated them. My parents had that lifelong marriage, but there is great disappointment in my marriage and children. I wanted to create that perfect family, where the kids meet the high expectations of the parents and become positive role models. Enter my husband from a very different background. We were rarely on the same page, and often I allowed him to lead me astray from God. When we married I thought he was saved, although now I look back at the warning signs I chose to ignore. He did come to God during a particularly dark time in our marriage, but I’m still not sure he’s saved. I see how disrespectful he is to our son, who gives that same disrespect in return. I see poor choices being made. His poor choices have hurt our family. I feel my family is broken, although not because of divorce, because of disobedience, on everyones part. I was inconsistent of my expectations and modeling good behavior when my children were teenagers, the really tough years, because I often felt undermined by my husband and decided “if you can’t beat em, join em”. My children are adults now, and have made some choices leading to hard lessons and embarrassment. Because I failed, I have an enormous amount of disappointment in myself and my family. How do I forgive myself when God expected me to train them up in the way they should go? How do I look at them through God’s eyes and stop scolding them, yet hold up a higher standard? I still want that perfect family, but we are beyond that. I do need and want restoration though, and for my family to find a real relationship with God. But I need to get my thoughts right.
You have helped sooo many by sharing your story and teaching Gods Truth, my favorite part is that you may have saved marriages and families…….God is good. There is so very much hurt and sadness in this world..I lost my marriage to infidelity,husband left, and it breaks my heart everyday for me and my children(who are adults)just so hard all the broken dreams…financially devestating also..and loss to death (my brother and two of his beautiful children killed in a car accident last June 17th) sometimes just very hard to go on and you shared hope, Thank You.*not gonna lie,hoping I get the book to share w/my children.. also I have to somehow find peace w/all of this..so sorry for all the hardships for everyone…prayers go out..in Jesus name AMEN
Thank you Renee- I subscribe to “Encouragement for Today” Proverbs 31 Ministries- and was delighted to see that you were giving the women’s devotions today on: “If God Loves Me Why…” I especially loved this part:
“Can I whisper some hope into your heart today? If you are living and breathing, your purpose has not yet been fulfilled. No matter what you have done or what has been done to you, God does have a plan for your life.”
You have whispered to my heart the hope I need for the healing start… it has to start with me I know this… I need to be brave and face those deep hurts and learn to forgive… baby steps….for now but praying for Jesus to come live in my heart now – instead of the dark shadows of my past… I believe faith as small as a mustard seed… Miracles like something that small can grow into a strong Oak tree one day…until then… baby steps for me- I will get to where I need to be.
Aloha from Hawaii xoxoxoxox
Renee, this chapter is really heavy stuff to deal with. Do you think we should linger in chapter 4 for another week in order to give our hearts time to process some of it?