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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Read An Excerpt: Chapter 1 & 2

Because God’s Love is Perfect, I Don’t Have to Be

Welcome friends! If you hopped over from my P31 devotion to find the free download of chapter 2 from my book A Confident Heart, or to sign up for my online study, or enter my give-away – the links and details are below. First I’d love to share a little of my story and why I”m offering  an online study of my book here on my website in January…

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Several years ago, I discovered a powerful truth that changed my life forever and set me on a journey to finding a lasting confidence that isn’t based on my successes or failures – but solely on God’s unfailing love and powerful promises! It’s the title of chapter 2 and  today’s post – Because God’s love is perfect, I don’t have to be!

For so long, like so many women, I thought I had to be perfect to be loved. I was convinced if let anyone see my imperfections and inadequacies they would think less of me, and eventually leave me -or distance themselves from me.

It was a compelling and paralyzing belief. One that catapulted me into a tail-spin of performance-based living and constant self-doubt. A life where my value was solely measured by my possessions, positions, and people’s opinions of me.

I carefully constructed walls around my heart to project false-confidence and protect my insecure heart. On the outside everything looked liked it was going well, yet on the inside I was drowning in feelings of not ever being  good enough. With each attempt to keep others impressed and distant, I stepped further into the shadows of self-doubt. Even though I was surrounded by people, my insecurities convinced me I was all alone.

By the time I was in my twenties, I couldn’t pretend anymore. I ran out of the emotional energy it took to fuel my efforts. Although I’d gone to church off and on for most of my life, I’d never really understood messages I’d heard. But this time, I started listening and really hearing what was being said.

Over time God revealed His heart to me through sermons and books I read, but more than anything He spoke to me through the Bible. Through His written Word on the page and His living Word in the person of Christ, I came to know the perfect love of a personal Savior who pursues imperfect women like me.

I read stories that echoed the struggles and desires of my heart. Tucked within those stories I discovered God’s promises and how He responds to the heart’s longings and heals the hurts of His children. I read words that gave me hope and assured me that I was not alone….

Knowing we are not alone is the first step out of the shadows of self-doubt. It sets us free from feeling like something is wrong with us because no one else seems to struggle like we do. I believe  Sam (from today’s devotion) realized this truth the day she met Jesus and felt the pursuit of His perfect love.  She was made complete by the power of His love and was transformed from a life of shame and isolationto a life of freedom and Christ-confidence!

Her story of life-change is a picture of what God’s love, forgiveness, pursuit, confidence and purpose can look like in our lives! Instead of just writing a book about how that has been true in my life and how it can be true in yours – I feel God leading me to walk through the book with women who want to take hold of those truths but just aren’t sure how to do it.

So, I’m offering a FREE online study of my book, A Confident Heart, right here on my website. I want us to create a safe place of community where we can talk about  how we got where we are in our self-doubts and how we can get where we long to be and then take steps together to get there- through encouragement, prayer and living in the security of God’s promises! Will you join me?

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A Confident Heart Online Study

My online study will begin January 16th. I’ll post 1-2x each week and will have guest posts, video segments and more! Because we’ll meet online, you can check in at your convenience any time of the day and week. I’m so excited about the ideas God’s giving me for it, and would love for you to join me! All you need is a copy of the book, a notebook, a Bible and a ready-for-God- to-do-a-new-thing attitude! Here are a few links I’d love to share with you today:

  • Click here to find out more about the book and  links to online stores that carry it.
  • Complete the form in my right sidebar to receive more details or to join my Confident Heart Online Study.
  • Click here to read the table of contents, Chapter 1 and Chapter 2: Because God’s Love is Perfect, I Don’t have to Be (for a limited time only). *It’s s in a PDF  so your computer might warn you, but it’s safe to open. If you can’t access it, let us know though my contact form.
  • Subscribe to my website updates. For online study participants, I recommend signing up for both in case some thing gets lost in cyberspace or spam.

A Confident Heart Give-Away

Win a $10 Starbucks gift card, a journal, a copy of my book and conference calls that will be an option for my online study! To enter to win, do any of the above and let friends know about my online study, devotion and or this post via email, Twitter and Facebook! Be sure to click “Share Your Thoughts” below to let me know you did so I can enter you in the drawing!

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If you don’t want to do all that, I’d still love to hear from you today!
How did God speak to your heart today through my devotion or today’s blog post.
Just click on “Share Your Thoughts” below to let me know and I’ll be praying for you today!

 

Comments

  1. Thank you Renee, for today’s devotion – R-E-S-P-E-C-T .. That’s what He Needs from Me! I have been struggling with this issue and thank God for the opportune moment. I have signed up for the online study and hope to get a free book as i tell it to my friends and daughter. God bless!

  2. Today’s devotion —- R-E-S-P-E-C-T ……. That’s what He Needs from Me. Was talking about me. I t was like it was meant for me to read my email on today and not delete this message. Lately I have been deleting a lot of my devotional emails because I haven’t made time to read them. I thank God for you, because you have a ministry that speaks to women and the things that they go through on a day to day basis. It has been months since I have read any of the devotions of Proverbs31. After today I will make this part of my daily devotion and continue with my devotion in spite of what I may be presently going through at the time. A lot of changes I need to make and I know that the changes can’ t be done with out God. Once again I thank you for allowing God to use you in a special way.

  3. I’m def joining the bible study! As I am still kind of new at this marriage thing, and was raised in a matriarchal family the submit word scares me and after reading your devotion today maybe I just need to learn more about it. Thank you for allowing Christ to speak through you.

  4. Your words are such a blessing. I invited my FB friends to participate in you study! Looking forward to see where God takes us all. Thank you!

  5. As a wife & mother of 9 I need to stop living in this shadow of doubt! I need a Confident Heart!!

  6. Renee,
    THANK YOU For following God’s will for writing this book!!! I just posted it on Facebook!! I am telling you this is one of the BEST books that I have ever read!! It came at the PERFECT time!!! Thank YOU again for sharing!!!

  7. I would love to be in your online bible study and be entered to win the conference calls. Thanks for all your inspira

  8. Thank you Renee… You have no idea how many ways that God is using you. Looking forward to January, even as I look forward to your daily devotionals. You always seem to be on time, on target with what God is trying to tell me. Thank you for all you do in His name

  9. Thank you for the encouragement and the opportunity for a safe forum for women to have open and honest discussions about the struggles of trying to be perfect in an imperfect world. We often set ourselves up with such unrealistic expectations when the Lord of all just wants the best of us, the true us. I have signed up for your emails and am looking forward to them! Thanks again, Heather

  10. Renee thank you for this post and your desire to help other women gain the confidence we all should have. I have signed up for your online study and cannot wait to start! I am not familiar with your book, but will be soon! I have a 3 year old and 11 month old and find it hard to listen to an entire sermon on Sunday mornings or a lesson at Bible Study, so I am so excited to have the opportunity for an online study! I haven’t felt recharged for a while now. And not only will it be more convenient, but it’s about a subject I desperately need help with! Anyway, as you can tell, I am excited. I shared your study with my sister-in-law on Facebook and hope she can do it with me – it always helps to have a buddy 🙂 Thank you so much!

  11. Dear Renee,
    I am glad you are candid about you struggles. I am so like you in so many ways. Because of severe mental and emotional abuse, I accepted the fact that I couldn’t do anything. But I didn’t want anyone to know how terrible I felt, I too placed barricades around my heart and played a game of pretend and denial until recently when I became too exhausted. I also have been going to church for a long time, but I never really understood. I never could apply what was said personally, to ME. I have known God had something planned for my life, but I knew I couldn’t do it and I was comfortable working behind the scenes.
    Now I am more willing to to say yes to His plans as long as He does it through me cause i can’t do it on my own.
    I am doing the 7 day doubt diet and God is ministering to me through it. I also want to start the Confident Heart Bible study in January.

    Debbie

  12. Hey hey….this book and study is calling (yelling;) my name. I am a new stay at home Mom and consumed by perfectionism.. I shared this resource with my Facebook friends and am an email subscriber as well. Please enter me for your giveaway and I’ll be watching for the study to begin! Thanks for this timely timely word!
    Ready for Freedom in Christ,
    Shawna

  13. I am so excited and I signed up for your bible study. I started with Melissa and got behind because of so many things and was going to try to catch up and then I saw you were offering this so I am going to do this. I can’t wait. Thanks so much.

  14. Hello Renee,
    I just finished reading a confident heart I have to admit though I am and was very bad at homework in school so I am sad to say I have yet to do any homework I was to excited to read your book , I have written down many things in the book and I am putting them into action . I bought another copy to send to my sister
    I know she will love it as much as I have. I want to say Thank You so much for helping me and so many women throughout the world live Confident lives through our Lord Jesus Christ .
    May God keep blessing you and your family
    Kathy

  15. Hi Renee, I read chapter 1 of your new book today and will download chapter 2 when I get home from work . I’m looking forward to the online study group, I know it will help me grown in my relationship with the Lord and strengthen my faith. Thank you for the free resources

    I very much enjoy hearing Proverbs 31 messages on my local radio station everyday (WTGS)

  16. Renee, you don’t know how much your book and devotions have helped me. I am currently in the Bible Study with Melissa Taylor and am amazed at what God is doing in my life. I feel like a new person, the doubts are rarely there but I’ve learned who I am in Him. Thank you so much for sharing your life, love and mostly His love for us. Blessings to you and your family.

  17. Thankyou for offering A Confident Heart study online!

    I read through this book with a group of ladies I lead & it was fantastic! I learned so much that I am signing up to go through it again with you in January! I have suggested this book to several ladies since and would love to win another book to be able to pass along with the conference calls.

  18. Thank you so much for being obedient to the call of God, because you have allowed the lord to use your life to help other women it has blessed and changed my life forever. I am one of the women that felt she had to be perfect,I now understand that Christ love for me is perfect and i don,t have to be. I love your ministry and I thank God for you and your family.I also thank the Holy Spirit for leading me into all truth. God Bless!!!!

    • Thank you Marsha!! Your words really encouraged me today as I pray about writing another devotion. I’ve been having writer’s block so reading the comments here have been so refreshing and a great reminder that God is faithful to use whatever He leads me to write. Just wish it was easier and flowed faster sometimes. 🙂 Thank you so much for your prayers and blessings!

  19. Hi Renee!

    I am the 100th person to leave a comment on your blog. 🙂
    A Confident Heart study has been fantastic,so much that I am signing up to go through it again with you in January! I need to make sure all that I’m learning will stick with me!

    I Would love to win another book to give as a gift along with the conference calls.

    If anyone is looking for an edifying gift to give this Christmas, A Confident Heart will make a perfect gift! I am giving this book as gifts this year.

    P.S.
    Renee, please make a video and show me how to wear a scarf like yours in your previous video! Yours looks so beautiful!!!!
    (You want me to be confident don’t you? lol well, okay then. help me to wear a scarf nicely)

    Thanks for being such a blessing to me.

    God bless you!

    • I just love you!! You made my day in more ways than one. Thank you so much for telling others about my book and giving it away for Christmas. That just blessed me!!

      Ok, I’ll do a scarf tying video too – soon – but I’m no expert. Ha! Someone told me recently they want to know how I fix my hair and asked me to do a video of that, too. Cracked me up! I love this girly stuff!!

      So glad you are joining me in Jan for the online study!! It’s going to be fun to get to know you all!

  20. I saw Renee at a women’s conference in Lake Charles, LA last year. She was fantastic!! Looking forward to the ‘A Confident Heart’ Bible study. Love Ya, Renee.

    • Thank you Sue!! What a blessing your sweet note is to me today! > So glad you are joining me in January!!

  21. Renee ~

    Through Proverbs 31 and your book A Confident Heart, I have found my heart again.
    I thank God for the daily devotionals of Proverbs 31 that are speaking to me daily to help me heal.

    However I need prayer support on how to handle my Mom.
    She spends every moment of her life trying to figure out why I cannot be her best friend,
    tell her everything and spend lots of time with her. Her mother was her best friend.

    I just want her to let me be and accept that our relationship is what it is.

    Pray that my Mom may find acceptance and peace with our relationship.

    Blessing to you and all the other Proverbs 31 women.

    ~ Wanda

    • Praying for you and your mom Wanda. I need to do a private blog or session on mother daughter dynamics. I think most of us have some kind of struggle. My mom and I have worked through so much over the past 40 years and it’s huge to have overcome some of our biggest hurdles! Lifting you both up right now!

      • Renee ~

        As I look at the date and time you responded, I was getting ready to go to Alpha to share my Holy Spirit experience from our Holy Spirit retreat last Saturday. An Amazing Experience

        On my way there, I was once again thinking about what I would tell my Mom why she thinks our relationship is not working for her. Getting closer to God’s answer. A mother / daughter dynamics session would be great. God blessed me with 3 wonderful boys because He knew I could never handle a girl.

        Thank you for your prayers. They were received.

        In Christ ~ Wanda

  22. Thank you for the reminder that God loves imperfect me. It is a timely reminder me for me. I’m looking forward to the on-line study.

  23. Hello Renee;
    I have shared with as many friends and family as possible 🙂 I will be emailing this too. I am excited to read this I so need this. I am struggling with being a perfectionist and do not want to put this on my lil ones….and am tired of being bound by it…:)
    Thank you again I am looking forward to this.
    Thank you for your words of encouragement they are truly inspiring…
    Hope you have a beautiful and blessed day or evening :)!

  24. Renee, as always, I am so glad to have met you! This chapter is so familiar…it could have been written about me! Thank you for starting the online study of your book…I have signed up & encouraged my friends to join on Fb as well…hoping to share with others to gain more God-fidence!! Blessings!

  25. Renee,
    I signed up for your Bible study and I am really sitting on the end of my line. I am really looking forward to the Bible Study because I need it. I was raised by my grandparents and while I was at college they passed away. They are in heaven but it is so hard because I just feel like I have no body. It has been over 6 years since my grandparents are gone. I moved away to another state because I know God led me there. The place I am now I am a Christian School teacher, I work with the teens, I sing specials, and I am also in the choir. My biggest struggle is this: I feel so alone. Everyone in my church has somebody but me. My roommate is dating a guy and all the single girls in my church are dating and I am older than they are. It is harder having a roommate who is dating. I feel like I am not important anymore. We used to do things together all the time but now she only has time for her boyfriend. I am kind a lost and not sure what to do. I talked to my pastor but he just told me I needed to reach out to others more. Sometimes I feel like I just need to be reached out to and I felt like this is maybe a way God will work.

  26. Hi Renee,

    I signed up for your online study, too. I am currently doing Melissa’s study as well, but am falling behind so I look forward to your study coming up!!! What a great way to start the new year.

  27. I signed up for your on-line study. I saw you in a blog with Melissa during her on-line study and I can’t wait to get started. Thank you so much for you, and sharing your thoughts so we can better understand our Savior. Thank you

  28. Thank you for your faithfulness and helping us to focus on Him! I am looking forward to starting the new year with your study 🙂
    Dawn

  29. This morning once again during my time of Adoration Jesus took me right to Scriptures I needed and they tie in perfectly with A Confident Heart. I feel like this week has been a huge turning point for me in so many ways.

  30. Renee,

    Thank you for this post. Your 7DD has touched me more than I can ever say. I too have always felt I had to be perfect to be loved. I have always felt that if I weren’t perfect that I was a disappointment. Thank you for starting this study after the first of the year. I really need to see and feel God’s acceptance of me. Thank you again, and God Bless.

  31. These thoughts have all been a great blessing and reminder to me during the last two months of adjusting to life with a third child, because, really, without the promises of God, I seriously doubt my ability to be the godly mom I so desire to be. It is a privilege to share this encouragement with others through online networking!

  32. Thanks for your devotion and a copy of chapter 2. I have signed up for your study of the book. I need confidence so I am joining in. Looking forward to do bible study and with all the other women who will join.

  33. Renee- I am reading your book A Confident Heart and I LOVE it! It is a book I could read over and over! I am SO EXCITED for your bible study! I shared with all my FB friends and family. Also when it starts I have a few friends that will be doing it with me. I would love to win a copy of your book for a very close friend of mine. She is going through a lot right now! I know your book would be perfect for her to read! Thank you for everything you do. May God bless you, Love Shawnia Phil.4:13

  35. I have signed up for the emails. This is a very generous giveaway. Thanks for all you are doing to help those of us who struggle with our doubts. Looking forward to becoming more confident!

  36. Thank you for your timely message. I had just finished reading chapter 2 in the book before reading the devotional for today. I think I was supposed to be paying attention and getting the reinforcement of the review. I’m looking forward to the study in January.

  37. Hi Renee! I am so thankful to God for this study. I am so thankful you obeyed His calling in writing this book. With each chapter, I am amazed at how much it reflects who I am, and I realize just how much healing I need from Jesus. Our Ladies’ Bible Study is currently going through this study. So many have been blessed by it already, and we are only working through chapter 4. I am looking forward to following along with your Bible Study in January, and I will let the ladies in my current Bible Study know about it too. Thank you for doing this, Renee. God is using you to bless so many lives! In Christ’s love…

  39. I guess I should have paid attention to all of the post LOL. I am sharing with my friends and family by email (not on FB at the moment for various reasons). Will share by twitter too.

  40. So excited about the Bible study! I’ve posted the announcement on my Facebook Page and am headed for Twitter now! I will also try to write a blog about it soon!

  41. Hi Renee, thank you so much for the opportunity to study through your book with you online. I have signed up and cannot wait for January 16th!

  42. Dear Sister in Christ,
    Thank you for telling me exactly what I need to hear this day! Why do I keep setting myself up for a “fall” in thinking? The thoughts I let into my mind trip me up again and again and again…if something doesn’t get done or finished, I think I’m a failure. So-n-so has theirs done by now..or I should have had such-n-such accomplished by this date or that time…ugh.
    So frustrating to live like this because I put that thinking onto my children and then if they don’t do whatever, watch out..
    God did not call me to be perfect. And oftentimes, the way I think about myself is purely performance based. Thank goodness God does not see me like I see myself!

    Guess all this to say I am still growin’ in His grace and mercy…and trusting Him to accomplish that which concerns me..
    In Christ,
    Bonnie

  43. That’s awesome Renee – may have to go through it again in January, there is so much here that I feel at the pace we have been going I am not taking it all in. I am so excited to read you will be offering it again in January. This week has been a huge week for me as we started Chapter 8!