As we begin this journey together, I want you to know where I started as a mom. I didn’t start out as a can-do mom with can-do thoughts and can-do kids. No. Those whiny give-up attitudes my son displayed in yesterday’s devotion were inherited from me. I was quite familiar with the sidelines of mommy life, where I would often stand and declare “I CAN’T.”
I was discouraged.
Once my kids became toddlers who would not listen to me and obey me like robots, I panicked. I looked at other moms who seemed to know what they were doing. They enjoyed being a mom. Me? Not so much. I would often wonder, “What is wrong with me? Their children listen when they tell them no. Why will my child not keep his hands to himself in the grocery store or the toy isle? Why didn’t someone tell me this would be so hard!?”
I felt like a failure.
I compared how I felt on the inside to how other moms looked like they had it all together on the outside. My feelings of inadequacy and thoughts of insecurity were held up in comparison to moms who dressed their children in matching outfits and adorned themselves with attitudes of grace and wisdom. I wondered how in the world they pulled it off with a smile? I could barely get a shower, get my kids dressed and get us out the door before lunch!
I wanted to quit.
One day I came home from running errands with two whiny toddlers. I put them down for a nap and searched for pink construction paper so I could write “I QUIT” on it. I was going to hand my “pink slip” to JJ when he came home from work that day. It was just too hard, and I was tired of feeling like I would never measure up as a mom.
And that’s where I started.
I didn’t really start being a mom until the day I almost quit. Because that was the day I fell on my knees before God and choked out the words, “I can’t do this.” And it was as though He bent down on His knees in front of me and spoke into my heart and said, “You are right, Renee. In your own strength and through your own perspective, you cannot do this. But I am here with you. And with my grace, my mercy, my promise, my presence, my power – with ME – all things are possible. You can do this through Christ – who will give you strength!
That day became a beautiful picture of Psalm 18:35 for me, “You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great.”
No matter where we are in our motherhood journey, this can be our new starting point. Let’s acknowledge together that on our own we’re a mess, but with His gentleness, grace, wisdom and guidance, we can become the mom He calls us to be; the mom we want to be; and the mom our kids need us to be.
Father, give us your shield of victory as moms, and protect us from discouragement. Extend Your right hand to sustain us; you grace to strengthen us; and your wisdom to lead us. Give us your thoughts and your ways that are not naturally our own. Thank you that through your Son, you not only stooped down to make us great, but you came down to make us great because of Your great love for us. We love you, and we begin this journey not looking back, but looking up and looking forward to where you will lead us one step at a time. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Copyright 2009. Renee Swope – All rights reserved.
Today we’re giving a copy of Angela Thomas’ best-seller “My Single Mom Life”. It’s a great book whether you’re single or married, offering encouragement and wisdom all mom’s need. From mommy guilt, living with integrity, setting healthy boundaries, lonely mom syndrome, living the amazing life God has for you and your kids each day, Angela covers it all. I am reading it now and loving it! Winners will be drawn from today’s comments. Be sure to include your email address so we can contact you if you win the give-away.
All winners will be announced Saturday morning. And don’t forget, each Friday we’ll be giving away two tickets to the D6 Conference. So be sure to come back for more encouragement and resources from D6 and Proverbs 31 Ministries! If you’d like to get a reminder each time I post, be sure to click on bloglines in my sidebar.
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OOPS ~ [email protected]
This was beautiful – I’ve been here myself! But God has taken my plea for help and turned it into a shout of thanks!!! As a single mom I’ve tried to do it all myself, who else will? But God has given me the opportunity to stop, breath and just enjoy my son (who, unfortunately, missed out on alot of his Momma for the first 5 yrs)! Thank you for your blog – its such a blessing!
kristyb
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As a single mom of two teenaged boys (18 & 16) who are determined to push all the boundaries and buttons, I soooooooo understand wanting to quit. Thanks so much for the reminder that we can start anew every day and that God and God alone sustains and hold us.
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I got side tracked and forgot to leave my email.
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I just want to say thank you for sharing. When I look at all of you wonderful speakers I don’t think of any of you actually going through the daily frustrations that someone like myself deals with. I know I shouldn’t do that and that you are all just like the rest of us but I forget. So when I read I say “oh yeah, they are like me.” I’m struggling with the “guilt” piece, more and more lately. I reconnected with Christ when my oldest son was in high school who is now almost 19 but I feel so guilty that he missed out on soooo much do to me. It’s been really difficult for me to move past that and ask for God’s help daily. I know I’ll get there but it’s hard right now. Thanks again for this blog.
Thank you for sharing Psalm 19:35! That verse spoke to my desire to be a great mom and reminded me that with God’s help I will be. I want to be the mom that He wants me to be.
Cathy Dickey
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I was encouraged by your story! There are a lot of days that I would like to quit but I never do! I am the mother of 2 teenage boys and one 3yr. old. My 3yr. old has taught me to remember that each day is a gift so if I fail as the maid I can surly be the best mom. I try to encourage my boys to remember that not only can they do all things through Christ but that they were set apart from the begining to be more than this world can offer them. That they must keep their eyes on the only one that can help them through anything.
WOW! That hit home. I have a 6 year old and a 21 month old and I really feel the same way sometimes. I thought having them that far apart they wouldn’t fight or it wouldn’t be so hard. I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling like this.
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Thanks for sharing your earlier struggles. I am in tears because I can relate to the frustration of (ME) trying to be the perfect mom and having it all together. I definitely need God in this journey of motherhood. Thanks again. JD at [email protected]
I found this website by chance and “oh how I needed it.” I have felt like I was drowning, between my husband, raising 2 small children, dealing with the grief of losing our firstborn son, and working at an executive level job, I feel like giving up almost every second of the day. I want to be a “Can do mom” with “can do kids”. Reading this was a wake up call for me.
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Thank you so much for your encouragement. I am a mom of six children. I have two biological sons who are 13 and 17. Two years ago, we adopted four girls who are now 9, 11, 15, and 16. My husband and I struggle with how to give each child what they need. I felt like I had it all down with my boys and now I am on a new journey that not many have traveled. My older two girls consistently contact their biological family against our wishes. The bio. parents were forbidden to be around our girls due to their drug issues. However our girls’ continue to contact them and lie to us about it. I realize that I can not do this on my own. I need the Lord’s help.
I am so thrilled to have received your devotion about “Can-do” kids today. I have begun working with my and my husband’s daughter to prepare her for starting kindergarten in August. It can be frustrating since she went to K4 for a semester and I’m having to reteach her some things the correct way. She’s super smart and now I can encourage her (instead of getting frustrated) with the “can-do” philosophy. Encouraging and supporting her is a big thing for us so hearing a new way to do it is great. Thanks so much!
Karen McKay
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Renee,
Your comments have given me encouragement today! I have a “I can’t” eight year old. Sadly, I know Phil. 4:13 in my heart but I have not share it with my son. You have encouraged me to do that today! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences.
Lynn
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Thank you for the devotion on Can Do Kids — I have a desire in 2009 to put the Word of God in my kids hearts so they will know when they are facing things where to go for answers and encouragement. Yes I have been there also wanting to quit as a Mom but then I remember the scripture when I am weak then He is strong.
Renee,
I remember all too well, being where you were. Up to my neck in money frustrations. Thank you for sharing. I would love to win today’s book for my sister.
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Thank you for your incouragement through your blog and the P31 ministry. I am a sometimes singe mom, who struggles with keeping my children feeling secure when their father is gone.
Renee,
Thank you so much for the reminder that we don’t have to do this alone that our Father in heaven is walking with us everyday is this parenting journey. As a mom who likes to do it all and do it by myself, I get so frustrated when I fall short and don’t meet my own expectations. And instead of going to my knees first I go after things fall apart. Thankfully God already knew this would happen and sent his Son to save me and he does again and again!! [email protected]
very encouraging; thank you for being real! nice to know there is hope for me and my 16 year old who knows everything, a strong willed, ADHD/OCD 4 year old, and an independant, non wanting to potty train 3 year old!! hallelujah!
Stacey Paden
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Oops, I forgot to leave my email address
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Thanks
Jill