Have you ever wished you could know the difference between conviction and condemnation? Are you tired of feeling weighed down with guilt and shame?
If so, you’re not alone! I believe condemnation is one of our most common and crippling heart-struggles. And I’m determined to kick them to the curb! I hope you’ll join me.
In my Proverbs 31 Ministries devotion today, I share the major difference between condemnation and conviction.
Condemnation is usually a broad stroke of shame that sweeps across our thoughts with generalized statements about who we are in an insulting and accusing way. The tone of condemnation is always accusing, questioning, confusing and will leads to feelings of guilt and self-hatred.
Conviction is specific and won’t condemn us for who we are, but will be more focused on something we’ve done. The Holy Spirit’s conviction always includes wisdom and instruction to lead us towards resolution, not shame.
Condemnation focuses on the problem. Conviction offers a solution.
- Take a minute to write down the most frequent shaming, blaming or accusing thoughts you have that make you feel condemned.
- Using the contrasting examples between conviction and condemnation below, re-write the statement and replace your words of condemnation with convicting yet loving truths the Holy Spirit might say.
- Be sure to offer yourself forgiveness plus a solution that reflects God’s goal of restoration and His tone of grace.
Instead of the lie: “You’re such a failure as a [wife, mom, daughter, friend],” the Holy Spirit might say, “You were really critical the way you talked to _________. You need to say you’re sorry and ask forgiveness. Then say something to build them up instead of tearing them down.”
Instead of the accusing label: “You’re so hypocritical!” The Holy Spirit might say, “You judge others for gossiping, but you’re doing the same thing when you talk about your neighbor at work. Apologize for what you said today and share a few things that are positive about her.”
These are two steps to help us kick condemnation to the curb, and there’s more but….
** Due to technical roadblocks and major scheduling challenges, my “3 Ways to Kick Condemnation to the Curb” is not quite finalized. But no worries!! I’d LOVE to SEND it to YOU via EMAIL today this week. Just ENTER your EMAIL below!
Also, BE sure to ENTER my GIVEAWAY and SIGN UP for the FREE download of God’s Promises too!
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I am a 52 year old woman, with three grown children and in a second marriage. I have struggled with feelings of condemnation all my life…not being good enough, perfect enough as a child and dealing with rejection upon learning I was adopted. As a young adult and mother, I never felt good enough as a wife, or mother. Even now that my children are adults, one with children herself, I constantly feel as if I’ve failed them miserably as a mother, and that nothing I ever do will ever be right. I have had many years of counseling, and I am currently seeking Christian counseling. I am just now learning about the difference between condemnation and conviction, but could use all the help I can get.
Oh boy did I need to read this. I feel like a failure as a mom on an almost daily basis. Satan condemns me until I start to believe his lies. Then God reminds me of His Truth. Thank you Renee. This was so helpful to me.
Just keep doing what you’re doing!! You have helped me so much already!! I have read A Confident Heart and need to keep rereading parts! I would love the devotional!! 🙂 Thanks!
I am running a few days behind on my morning devotions and I know Satan is the cause. He even comes/works thru good people to do his work. Please pray for focus and time management for me.
Thanks.
This is an excellent reminder that we spend to much time letting the devil beat us up. Love your bible study, I am sure the devotional is awesome as well 2
Thank you for this specific topic. I struggle daily with this issue. At 44 years old I’m so tired of feeling like a failure. In the back of my mind I still fight off the question what glory does God get from seeing a family with an UNHEALTHY vicious cycle of defeat. Angry because of my childhood, angry because my parents are who they are, angry because the system failed me and never got Child protective services involved, angry because. Angry because I wasn’t white with long beautiful hair living in the suburbs with a man that actually was family oriented. Single parenting, 4 children, 3 baby daddies later, welfare recipient for at least 20 years living in public housing, 4 misdemeanors convictions. 1 felony conviction. Yes I feel like a failure. But for the last 7 years of my life I’ve been digging deep into God’s word and finding peace. But the struggle daily is still there. Sometimes I just cry at my desk when my boss points out I’ve done something wrong and it crushes me. Just when I think I had. My bubble gets busted. So thank you for your wisdom and resources
Thank you for this specific topic. I struggle daily with this issue. At 44 years old I’m so tired of feeling like a failure. In the back of my mind I still fight off the question what glory does God get from seeing a family with an UNHEALTHY vicious cycle of defeat. Angry because of my childhood, angry because my parents are who they are, angry because the system failed me and never got Child protective services involved, angry because. Angry because I wasn’t white with long beautiful hair living in the suburbs with a man that actually was family oriented. Single parenting, 4 children, 3 baby daddies later, welfare recipient for at least 20 years living in public housing, 4 misdameanors
Thank you for this devotional. Per usual, God delivered this to me right on time. This is something that I have been pondering, and you put the thoughts into words. I would love to be entered in the drawing, to help KC2TC! God bless.
Thank you for your devotional – I struggle with condemnation vs. convicts. your devotional was presented in a way that helped me see in a new way that gives freedom and peace in Him.
When I am faced with circumstances out of my control, I seem to want to shut down. As a result, I usually begin to feel like I can’t be the fun, loving, uplifting and motivating mother and wife I so desire to be. I had an argument with my husband over a silly parenting issue. I did not like how he nor I handled it, and then it exploded into something much bigger. I always feel so unloved by my husband in these moments and I so need love from God at these moments. My husband and I condemn myself for either what I say or do. I really need to feel convicted to think differently and respond differently so I can choose to forgive my husband and myself. Reading your devotional and others at Proverbs 31 really helps. Thank you
I really feel God presently has me on a journey of breaking free from patterns of wrong thinking, and these devotion alas are powerful in helping me turn my thoughts towards God. Thank you! And yes, I hope to join you.
Thank you, God, for speaking directly to my heart through Renee. I’ve been spending so much time feeling like a failure at being a Christian, a failure at praying the “right way”, a failure at being a Godly wife, not knowing God’s plan for my life, not knowing if I’m positively impacting my stepson. I realize now the accuser has been reigning in my heart and my spirit and that God is joy and peace! Thank you Father for loving conviction instead of condemnation.
I love this because I continue to struggle with shame and guilt even though I’m starting to recognize the difference between Satan’s attacks and the Holy Spirit’s guidance.
Thank you Renee!
I loved this because I’m just starting to notice the subtle difference between God conviction and the Devil’s condemnation in my life, but I still need to work on discerning it. Every time I fall back into an old habit I totally berate myself that I can never change, but that’s what the devil wants me to think. I can change, and I’ve been working on praising myself for the moments where I hold my tongue, don’t lose my temper and choose not to freak out. I think we all have to realize that change is always a slow process, but we can get there with God’s help!
I’m SO ready to KC2TC!!!
I’ve been struggling with condemnation for a while. Your devotion encourage me thank you.
Your words hit home for me. I sometimes have a habit of saying things to my husband that I should not say, that upset him. This happened just last weekend and I was dealing with both condemnation and conviction. I have prayed for God to help me hold my tongue and for the most part that is happening, but there are those times when I slip. He had worked very hard out in the Texas heat the day before at his mom’s house. She has been put into a home after having 2 strokes and they are getting her home ready to sell in order to pay for her care. The enemy seems to pick those times to attack. It seems to be easier to hurt those closest to us and that is what I did that day. We got through it as we have in the past. After beating myself up I gave it to God and He mends our hearts. I need His help everyday to be the woman He wants me to be and to be able to tell the difference between His conviction and the enemies condemnation. I am so ready to kick condemnation to the curb!!!
Thanks Renee for your words of encouragement.
Be Blessed.
I have recently read A Confident Heart and plan to read it again. I know the second time through I will gain insights that I was not able to take in the first time through. I am trying to be confident in all areas of my life. I would enjoy a devotional based on the book to help me continue my journey of spiritual growth.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and God’s promises and the chance at the give away! Yes, I struggle to be sure that I am hearing the “right” voice and turning away from and blocking out satan, but God gives me new strength each day–praise God!
Boy I need to read this. I’ve always had trouble debating the difference in the two. I am very good at condemning myself…I am the first one to do it, to save others the trouble. But I know this isn’t right. This is a wonderful topic for women because I feel like a good portion of women do this to. We really do need to learn more about God’s conviction process and not Satan’s condemnation. Would love to win this giveaway packet as I am sure I would benefit tremendously by it. Thanks for the chance.
Blessings,
Cindy
I too say Thank you so much for this blog. Why do I always think I am the ONLY one who feels or thinks this way sometimes. This is exactly what I need. I am so hard on my self. Condemnation and conviction something I really need to learn about. I so need these tools to change my thinking process.
Thanks again!!!!
Thank you so much for this and all of your blog entries – most times they are EXACTLY what I need to begin my day. God is so amazing like that. Lately the enemy has been telling me I’m not a good enough, strong enough wife to my husband. I’m feeling very lost. I know to turn to Him but constantly things are thrown in my path when I try to reach Him. Just this last weekend we thought we were going to loose my mother-in-love (we say love – not law) and my husband has 12 siblings – it was a very rough weekend. It looks like she will make it but in the midst of this I felt very very small. Your encouragement today is exactly what I needed. I am sending this to one of my sister-in-loves as I know it will bless her too!
Renee, thank you for this encouragement, keep them coming. Love reading what you have to say and to know that their are others who go through these circumstances. And so that we may pray for one another.
Blessings
Thank you for this inspiration, and for defining the difference between condemnation and conviction. I oftentimes find myself in this very situation. I wake up early to have quiet time to myself, to get prepared for the day, and to read the bible/pray/and read helpful devotionals. It seems that my peace is stolen or completely demolished by the third hour of my children being awake. I always ask myself what I did wrong, if i instilled any morals at all into my children, or if I am a failure with no hope at all.
Breakfast plates everywhere, PJ’s thrown on the floor, bickering begins over the tv remote, the “mommy, i’m bored” starts up… I’ve always been told to be careful what you pray for because God will deliver you into a situation to prepare you for what it is you’ve been praying for. Lately, my prayers have been for peace… a gentle tongue when disciplining and ministering to my children. AND BOY have I been tested! 🙂 Along with your blog, I’ve been reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, and I have learned not to listen to that condemning voice in your head; not to give into it and believe the blasphemous things that the devil is whispering in my ear. I have learned that the voice of the Holy Spirit is gentle, it is coaxing, and it is a beacon of light in any stressful situation that may seem impossible to overcome.
I know that I would benefit tremendously from the Confident Heart giveaway, and am ready to Kick Condemnation to the Curb!! It’s time to let go of the condemnation, and be lead by conviction to a loving, gentle relationship with all those who I come in contact with.
I did not have a chance to read this devotional until this morning prior to going to work. God in His perfect timing knew that these were the words that I needed to read and meditate on today. I was visiting with a girlfriend yesterday and we were talking about the lies we have allowed ourselves to believe despite being rooted in God’s truth. I personally have struggled since I was a little girl with condemning thoughts. It started with the taunts and jeers I received from my classmates (kids can be so mean) and because I did not take a stronghold of those lies and bind them in truth, Satan has continued to condemn me in my weaknesses and rob me of self-confidence. Thank you so much for discussing a topic that is so relevant in our Christian culture and reminding us how to tackle this aspect of spiritual warfare.
I realize that I am not living in freedom. God’s grace may cover my sins but I am constantly expecting myself to do better and it’s been holding me down. I need to switch my focus to God and gratitude and focus on things that are praiseworthy and true. Look forward to reading the Truths you have to share.
Really needed to read this today, thank you! I am a mature Christian and homeschooling, homesteading, practicing hospitality and reaching out to my community. Instead of feeling fulfilled and peaceful, I am battling feelings of shame, failure, despair, anger, loneliness and hopelessness. I feel constantly condemned that I can’t seem to pull myself together inside.
Thank you again.
I had never thought about the difference between conviction and condemnation. Most of the time when I mess up I let the devil condemn me and i end up feeling guilty and like a bad person who will never change. But you reminded me that God doesn’t want us to feel that way. He wants to restore us! Thank you for being so easy to relate to and sharing this wonderful message!
Thanks Renee! So many women haven’t learned the difference yet between conviction and condemnation – thanks for teaching the Truth of God’s Word.
Chasidy,
It astounds me that one who does not know me at all in person can so completely understand my heart. The verses you gave me are highlighted in my Bible, and I’ve Googled the lyrics you mentioned. Thank you. You are a beautiful example of God’s love shining through His children. ♡
Well my life is going through a seasonof change.I’VE been separated now 6m and just served the paper’s but one thing I went through was will God still love me if I go through with this and how will this all play out according to his plan so bibical I have a right but in my hurt you still love and you tryed so hard to make things work so I thought back when we first met how I went on my feelings instead on the truth on what the Lord was telling me not to do now I felt like the consequences of making bad decisions now I’m wondering if god will restore or move me forward what is his plan for my life….??so guilt ,condemnation,and love all plays a part in this Jeremiah 29:-11im meditating on
I am very quick to condemn myself and feel guilty when it comes to my struggle with my finances and being a divorced mother to my 15 year old son and comparing myself to those I think it do it so much better than me. It is very hard not to focus or overlook what I see in the “flesh”. I would like to be better at quickly removing these thoughts and not let them overwhelm me with worry and guilt. I would love to join you in your quest to kick condemnation to the curb!
Renee,
Thank you for all that you share with us. I have been struggling for years. I’m a single mom raising three wonderful children. I have worked for various nonprofits. The last few years I have been underemployed, overqualified and underpaid at my jobs. I recently had a temporary job at a religious organization but am no longer there as the need for my services no longer exists. I am actively job seeking, often doubting myself and my talents and gifts, questioning why my life is like this, why I can’t find a full-time permanent job to serve the Lord. I would love to have this devotional to help me send the enemy packing and live the life He wants me to live.
Hello Renee,
I really enjoyed your devotional today, so much so I starred it and read it twice. God has taken me through a self discovery and in the process brought certain truths out in the light, such as the one you shared today. God’s Word is truth and brings with it freedom. I have tasted this freedom and it is a high like none other, that keeps me seeking the Lord; my question to you is do you believe we can train our minds to live more in that freedom instead of doubt?. Thank you for taking the time to respond and posting your devotionals to us women, we need it as moms, I believe we carry around so much guilt which is not from God and keeps us from ministering in the way He intended to our husbands and children. God bless you!!
I appreciate your transparency in sharing this story with us. It helps me to know that I am not alone in this fight to stop condemning thoughts from taking over my mind when I have missed the mark in my relationships with others. Your 3 ways to kick condemnation to the curb serve as a reminder to me of the gentleness of the Holy Spirit. It serves as confirmation to me that God wants us to renew our mind in his Word daily so that we can grasp and take hold of his faithfulness in sharing his true character with us, so that the next time the enemy comes knocking on the doorways of our minds, we can send him packing instead of dwelling on lies that suffocate and steal our joy.
Renee, I am often on the receiving end of those feelings of guilt for offensive behaviors…in my words and in my thoughts. The guilt really overwhelms me when I am aware but just cannot put a lid on it…I am sorry and say so immediately but it is this knowledge of my weakness and constant struggle with it that begins to take me down the “I am not good enough” path! I have read and participated in your “A Confident Heart” OBS twice, yours and the following OBS at P31. I would love to read your devotional to get a dose a day, like a multivitamin…. thx for this opportunity! God bless!
Your writing is always so encouraging. You did an excellent job of comparing and contrasting condemnation and conviction. I will join you in kicking condemnation to the curb. When I fall short, I will strive to not condemn myself but think what would the Holy Spirit say. I would love to receive a prayer journal and CD as I do not have those. I have one of your devotionals and an extra one that is currently “checked out” by a lady at my church. Thank you for your wisdom and your giveaways.
I continually have thoughts that play in my head regarding not being good enough. It doesnt help either when you are looking for a job for two years and get rejection notices or told you werent selected. My house is in disarray okay so it would remind someone of oscar madision. I do read inspiring books but it is hard to put into practice.
This is probably my greatest struggle. I seem to hear on repeat all of.the enemy’s lies and it’s the same record I’ve been list to for most of my life. I am ready to break free and be the woman God made me to be!
This past year has been a living nightmare full of guilt and shame as flashbacks and nightmares replay themselves over and over related to abuse. If you have any ideas on letting go of the guilt and shame that I am dealing with it would be appreciated. As a result of the pass I have just lost my job. Now there is so much guilt for not getting better and for not working. I confine myself to my house most of the time and am very lonely. I feel like if I made better decisions as a kid I would be married and have kids. Instead my life continues to spiral out of control.
I grew up feeling like I never did any thing right… and it carries over to my adult life…I seem to forever be saying I’m sorry when I know in fact it is not my fault… I let the effects of condemnation over power me… at some point I feel Gods arms wrap me up lovingly and show me a better way… the feeling of God loving me is like nothing else of importance … I feel so silly when I feel Satans condemnation and know Gods loving conviction would be better…
Our life has just been turned upside down. My husband & I were planning to buy my parents home & build in-law quarters for my Mom. My older brother put a stop to those plans on July 4th. He yelled at us, called both of us horrible names, accused us of bullying our Mother and only doing this for selfish reasons. We prayed and talked about this & believe God telling us to stop now before there are more angry words spoken. The history with my brother & I is not the best, he sexually abused me for 2 years when I was 12, asked our parents to refinance their house so he could buy a bar and never paid them back, was found guilty of inappropriate touching his daughter and served jail time. I felt guilty when this was made public, if I would have said something, maybe my niece would not have been hurt. God is great and has showed me His love, grace and mercy over and over – even when I give Him my pain and guilt and ask for it back again. Praise Him for taking it once again for me!
I lost my 16 yr old daughter to domestic violence. The guilt I feel daily is so powerful and overwhelming I cannot describe it. I have felt many times that I should have died beside her that night. I know we are supposed to live our life with if only and could/should have but it seems impossible not too.
Pamela, I cannot imagine the weight of your pain and the temptation of guilt as a mom. I am sure I would feel the same way. And it’s part of the grieving, I’m sure. Here’s what I know, Jesus and your daughter don’t want you to let Satan, and the person who killed your child, take your life too. Give yourself time to heal, and talk to someone who can help you, walk with you though this trauma and deep loss, and the natural feelings of “if only” and “I should have…” just know this, that is not what God is saying to you. His heart breaks with yours, and so does mine. Carrying you in my prayers to the feet of Jesus tonight.
Thank you for your prayers.
Thank you.
Loved your book, would love the devotional to remind myself everyday that I am loved and accepted. Thanks!