Have you ever wished you could know the difference between conviction and condemnation? Are you tired of feeling weighed down with guilt and shame?
If so, you’re not alone! I believe condemnation is one of our most common and crippling heart-struggles. And I’m determined to kick them to the curb! I hope you’ll join me.
In my Proverbs 31 Ministries devotion today, I share the major difference between condemnation and conviction.
Condemnation is usually a broad stroke of shame that sweeps across our thoughts with generalized statements about who we are in an insulting and accusing way. The tone of condemnation is always accusing, questioning, confusing and will leads to feelings of guilt and self-hatred.
Conviction is specific and won’t condemn us for who we are, but will be more focused on something we’ve done. The Holy Spirit’s conviction always includes wisdom and instruction to lead us towards resolution, not shame.
Condemnation focuses on the problem. Conviction offers a solution.
- Take a minute to write down the most frequent shaming, blaming or accusing thoughts you have that make you feel condemned.
- Using the contrasting examples between conviction and condemnation below, re-write the statement and replace your words of condemnation with convicting yet loving truths the Holy Spirit might say.
- Be sure to offer yourself forgiveness plus a solution that reflects God’s goal of restoration and His tone of grace.
Instead of the lie: “You’re such a failure as a [wife, mom, daughter, friend],” the Holy Spirit might say, “You were really critical the way you talked to _________. You need to say you’re sorry and ask forgiveness. Then say something to build them up instead of tearing them down.”
Instead of the accusing label: “You’re so hypocritical!” The Holy Spirit might say, “You judge others for gossiping, but you’re doing the same thing when you talk about your neighbor at work. Apologize for what you said today and share a few things that are positive about her.”
These are two steps to help us kick condemnation to the curb, and there’s more but….
** Due to technical roadblocks and major scheduling challenges, my “3 Ways to Kick Condemnation to the Curb” is not quite finalized. But no worries!! I’d LOVE to SEND it to YOU via EMAIL today this week. Just ENTER your EMAIL below!
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Thank you for this posting. I had just been praying about how I could talk to my son about correcting a mistake made, without being judgmental and accusatory. I have a hard time dealing with knowing how to teach my son the difference between right and wrong without accusation and stress. I read today in that Jesus spoke with gentleness and kindness to the Samaritan woman at the well and that she found acceptance not judgment in his words and actions. Those words together with your words about conviction not condemnation were a well timed blessings for me. Thank you!
I am a first time mom struggling with the confidence that I’m even doing anything right. I want to raise my son to fully trust in and walk with the Lord, but I need to be confident in myself and my own walk first. I’ve always been one to put myself down and kick myself down further when I don’t live up to my own expectations of myself. This is one of those habits/traits that I don’t want my son to inherit from me. I want to rid it from my life before he is old enough to pick it up from me.
I struggle to know wether it is conviction or condemnation I often wonder if I am failing God or am I on the right path. It helps to read your devotional because I am starting to understand what to listen to and what not to listen to thank you
I need this more than I thought…and God made certain it was on my computer screen to know it!
Before rededicating my life to Christ, I had done quite a few things to my family and children. As I grow closer and closer to Christ, memories of the things I’ve done, esp that affected my children, haunt me. At times I think the way they behave is payback for how I treated them (even though they’re too young to remember). I hate hainng these thoughts. I know they are from satan but I still feel so guilty.
wow that little thing … that one little thing…. “God’s conviction is specific and won’t condemn us for who we are, but focuses on something we’ve done.” that negative voice inside my head always seems to start with “I am so…” or “I am such…” to know that’s the enemy is so eyeopening now… I know now that maybe my action or my deed is what is to change, not me 🙂 how freeing!
God truly has His hand on you and your ministry Renee! I’m struggling so much right now trying to be a mom, wife, homemaker, teacher, and stay out of the lane where I constantly feel I am failing at everything I am so desperately trying to do for my family and for The Lord .
My husband has been diagnosed with a migraine disorder that keeps him from being able to work. We’ve lost his income. We are lucky to get 10 good days with him in a month. We are a blended family of 5 kids ages 5,6,7,8 & 11. I teach all year and now am working to keep food on the table and the lights on. The house is in shambles, my kids need me and I cannot be there, my husband is so depressed for not being able to provide for us and not being able to get well (they can’t find the cause or a cure or even a treatment that effectively works). We have lost our vehicles, etc etc etc. thankful for our home and electricity and full bellies- and yet, my constant partner is the still small voice – who am I kidding? The raging screaming accuser that has me in constant turmoil that its never going to be enough. That I am never going to be enough.
I would order the book YESTERDAY!!! But there isn’t money for extras like this. I know I sound like a sob story and I feel embarrassed to have to admit where I am emotionally and physically as a wife and mom- and even more as a daughter of the King who feels unworthy. To have your book would mean so much.
Thank you for reading my novel. Even if the book doesn’t happen I feel better having been able to (sort of) anonymously write down how I am feeling and know I am not alone. Thank you so much for being willing to let God use you.
Numbers 6:23-24
I am a teenage single mom who is very involved at church. I am a youth leader and am a part of praise and worship team. I am also involved in several organizations in and out of school. I am very personable and friendly. I like to hang out with friends and listen to stories. I am also a family girl. I love and value my family deeply. With all these roles I play in my life, I find myself struggling with balancing my time. I get overwhelmed with everything that’s happening around me and ends up not being effective at anything at all. I would feel guilty every time because I feel like what I’m doing is not enough and ends up not doing anything at all. My confidence go lower and lower every day and I’m starting to settle for less. I’m starting to feel that I am not enough for anything (to have a partner, to be a role model for my child, to be a friend, a leader, and a daughter). It’s my passion to serve God but my weaknesses are hindering me from doing so. I think A confident Heart devotional will help me get back on track, of course with prayers tied to it.
Devotion really hit home this morning! Thank you!
I so needed this, this week! I’m going to print a copy to place in my Bible as a reminder for me.
I had a break at work today, so I decided to have a quick little quiet time. I was reading this devotion on the Proverbs 31 ministries today and all I can say is “wow!” Right on time!
I’ve recently been reinstated as the Sunday School teacher in my church. Well for some reason or another i was really tired when I got home from work yesterday. Cooked my lunch for the next few days, kind of straightened up my bedroom. Then I got all of my study materials out for this coming Sunday’s lesson so that I can study. Laid out all of my materials on the bed. All of a sudden I was getting really sleepy. So sleepy that I pushed my materials off of the bed and went to sleep.
Woke up this morning and I felt condemnation staring me in the face. I can’t do anything right. I failed God…this and that. It was so bad to the point where i almost skipped praying. But I prayed anyway. And I was honest with God. He was telling me Nadia stop trying to do stuff apart from me. I am the Vine and you are the branch, and apart from Me you can do nothing. He said other things too. Tears streaming down my face all I could do was say I love you, which shocked me lol. I wrote in my journal and that was that.
Point is, God is teaching me to walk in His grace and His love. Next time I will ask for wisdom when it comes to my study time. It’s not that I’m so busy, it’s just that I procrastinate a lot. But I realize that diligence is not my strong trait, and I have to ask Him for help in this area, which is okay. 🙂
This couldn’t come at a better time for me. Lately I have repeated thoughts of how worthless I am. These thoughts bring on depression and hopelessness. The cycle once started seems unending and just keeps repeating. Over and over I hear the same message in my head….you are worthless, you’re a failure. Thank you for taking the time to reveal Gods truth.
Thank you so much for sharing your heart so openly and honestly!! I am a leader at Celebrate Recovery for the Mixed Issues group and I love to share your daily devotionals with my ladies. Your stories are always exactly what we need to hear. Thank you again!!!
Thank you for sharing about the difference between condemnation and conviction. I needed to hear that!
Nice to recognize one is rooted in guilt and one in love. Loved the comparison in condemnation and conviction! I now have a tool in my belt to help! Blessings!
Thank you for your devotion today, totally hit home for me. I can’t tell you the times I have obsessed over my guilt or regret and what a waste of time. I feel empowered to ask myself some key questions to determine if the Holy Spirit is working on me or if Satan knows how to waste my time. Thank you!
Thank you for opening my eyes to the difference between condemnation and conviction. We shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves, but, rather, more forgiving; striving to be more like Jesus.
Ps 85:10 “Mercy and truth are met together: righteousness and peace have k8ssed each other!. I am so thankful for God’s grace and mercies towards me when I fail. His gentlenes makes me great inspite of my failures. He knows my human frame and there is therefore, now no condemnation in Him. Thank you for your devotuons. They are beautiful.
I’d appreciate prayer. Satan surely has a well designed tool box that he craftily reaches into to thwart my peace and/or productivity. I think it includes a stun gun. Eventually, I am able to come out of the stupor and regain my spiritual footing, and I am SO grateful to you and other Christians that God has put in my path that help me regain that footing by speaking truth in the midst of the madness around us! Onward and upward!
A few key verses to memorize and guide me through repentence in these times, then remind myself of God’s grace in forgiveness would be the best help for me. Thank you for sharing and helping us all in this area.
For months I have struggled under the weight of condemnation and emotional pain. I’ve been trying to use scripture to fight against the father of lies, but it’s feels like I’m swinging a sword in the dark. Today’s post really helped clarify for me that it has been condemnation (and not true conviction). Thank you for handing me a useful tool to use in this battle.
YES! I would love to join you on your quest to kick guilt and condemnation. I too never knew the difference and I always thought it was how God was condemning me. Now I know it is Satan. I would love to learn more about how to quit condemning thoughts when it comes to food issues and making choices to get healthier. I would love to learn how to have a confident heart and learn how to have more confidence. Thank you for taking time to serve Christ and build others up in Christ Jesus. You have blessed my day!
Renee
thank you for this message. I struggle constantly with condemnation confusing it with conviction at times. Especially in the darkness of my depression and anxiety. Now I feel better equipped for those arrows of condemnation the enemy shots at me. I worked through the three most condemning thoughts I get. I’m hopeful that in the future I can more easily recognize and then quickly take action to thwart the attacks of satan on me.
Thanks again!
My husband speaks so unkind to himself. It breaks my heart to hear him. I want to offer him insight to overcome his condemning words. Thank you for sharing.
Good Morning:)
I would really love to have the steps in overcoming and taking control of the emotions and feelings that come with guilt and condemnation. I always have and always do try to take care of everybody and everything and make sure that everyone is happy and when I fail at any of this , it weighs on me very heavily in mind, my heart for a very long time. Sometimes it may go away but seems to sneak back in and the feelings of failing hits me all over again.
God Bless:)
Tammy Dobson
It is challenging to identify the difference. Often the result of feeling bad about something causes the action to change but the source of that change is the key in me. Actual repentance leads to knowing God’s love better, condemnation may change my actions but only by animosity toward self leading further from God.
Satan loves to paralyze us by hitting our weaknesses. Thank you all ladies at Proverbs 31 for teaching from God’s word and explaining truths that help keep us strong in the Lord <3
Love this, grateful for this message of encouragement.
Totally relate to this. I get stuck in self doubt and I can’t find my way out – leading me to feel worse and then even act worse or absent since I’m stuck in my head. Really appreciate you sharing about repentance since that leads to peace and gives hope. Thank you.
Thank you for always sharing yourself and the Word with us. Your openness shows that we are not alone in our quest to serve the Lord through our own shortcomings.
Renee you and your heart ALWAYS speak to my heart and spirit. Thank you for the encouragement that we women battle with so much. I have those days like you as a mom and wife, sometimes they can be overwhelming. God uses you to encourage so many. God bless you!
I’m in the midst of such turmoil.My husband of 41 years is leaving me.I’m filling my heart and mind with all the godly teaching I can get my hands onto.
E Lord’s timing is so incredible. I am currently beginning to change myself to become physically healthy and strong after years of self hatred, eating disorder, and negativity. I became a Christian a few years ago and while the Lord has begun the healing process I have been shown lately that we have a long way to go! I am constantly overcome with thoughts like “I am so fat”, “I am so ugly”, “they think I am just fat and lazy”. I know these are not from God but now I have a name for them -condemnation. The Lord is using you this morning to speak directly to me (and to many other women with worst situations and stronger needs). Thank you God and Renee.
So many need wisdom me as well. The last ladies Bible study I attended was mostly full time out of the home employed and they looked exhausted. I’m sure they were trying but group building was missing. This would make an amazing study w a small group.
Wow, I have to say your words mirror my thoughts and my actions on a daily basis. Feeling the guilt, the shame, and just not good enough, and then beating myself up for feeling that way when I know that God loves me and those are not his words or his thoughts toward me.
Thank you for your encouraging words and words of wisdom that we all need to hear.
It wasn’t until I read your devotional tonight that I truly realised that my negative self talk is a tool Satan uses to condemn me. I often feel like God should hate me because I’m such a stuff-up (this has been compounded recently due to IVF failure, and so I feel like a failure on many levels like providing my husband with kids, my parents and his parents with grand kids and just.. Well.. It seems to come so easily to pretty much everyone else!). Thank you Renee, for your reminder that the Holy Spirit convicts (and is specific) rather than condemns (and being broad).
It would really be a blessing to me (and probably others too), if you could help/advise those of us who want to be mums but can’t be and the guilt and condemnation that comes with that.
And yes, I want to kick condemnation to the curb too! 🙂
I feel God has blessed me with so much insight and desire to serve Him in a greater capacity. He inspires me to use the talents He has given me in ways that would show His love, mercy to the world and glorify Him in the hearts of those I’m lead to minister to. But the devil keeps saying, “You’re not strong enough, talented enough, or smart enough to attempt such things.” I need all the help I can get to block out those statements of negativity and listen to my Father, who is able to strengthen me, and is the giver of talents and wisdom. My God who is able to do all He has promised through me if only I will listen to Him.
God’s timing never fails to amaze me. I’ve been trying to finally face this problem over the last few days through Bible study and prayer. Old habits are hard to break but I know our God is good and it’s not Him condemning me. This is one of the hardest things I’ve had to do but I am grateful it is not my strength or wisdom I have to rely on. Thank you for the encouragement!
Renee you really know how to lift some spirits up. I look forward to reading your devotionals everyday, its a reminder im not in this battle to keep my sanity alone. Others go thru what i go thru and god is on our side. God bless you!
I woke up this morning feeling awful about a situation with my son and so I tried to find excuses not to do my Proverbs 31study. Well, here I am and I was so surprised to begin reading and find this was just for me today. I have never heard the difference of condemnation and conviction. What a beautiful promise you taught me today that I can cling on to. God is good and provided just what I needed at the right moment. I would love the opportunity to win your resources.
I am making progress in this area. I can usually redirect my negative thoughts, and apply a promise. I have one thought that really has a stronghold on me, and it reoccurs repeatedly. It is the thought that others will not want to befriend me or like me. I think they will not be interested in what I have to say. I know I am rejecting others before they can reject me. No matter how many times I rebuke this thought it comes back. I would like help in how to break these strongholds. Thank you for your posts.
Thank you for todays devotion. It was such a comfort and encouragement. It seems like I have struggled with this issue of feeling guilty and shamed forever-a constant struggle to block out the condemming thoughts so that I can hear God’s words of love and acceptance.
I can so relate to your scenario in the kitchen. I can feel so close to God…at peace…and then BOOM, one thing sets me over the edge! And then I feel like a failure…as a wife, a mother, a friend, etc. It was reassuring to be reminded of the difference between condemnation and conviction. I think more reminders of this would be helpful in keeping my mind focused on God’s unconditional love for me.
I love the simplicity of how you break down the difference between God’s conviction and the enemy’s condemnation. I can’t wait to share this knowledge gained from your post. Thank you so much!
Condemnation has overcome me lately. I know in Christ there is no condemnation, but the enemy is really keeping my faults and failures in front of me lately and I can’t seem to get past this. Prayers are so appreciated.
That first sentence alone: “Satan condemns us accusingly to make us fee guilty. God convicts us lovingly to lead our hearts to repentance.” really awakened my need to shut out Satan’s negative talk in my head and instead focus on the Holy Spirit’s soothing instruction. Thank you, Renee!
Thank you for the powerful, clear words you shAred this morning. Lately I’ve been so overwhelmed with satan’s guilt & words that it’s starting to bury me in the sand. Thank you for teaching me there’s a way out! What a gift of hope !
Thank you for the great reminder of something that I know, but am so quick to forget! I have struggled with shame & condemnation many times over the years, most recently again on Monday. I am thankful that there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. (Rom. 8) The devotion gift pack would be a great way to keep my perspective where it needs to be.
I must admit, I am a mess. I do and say the things to my kids, spouse that I know I shouldn’t. Then terrible guilt sets in. I know God is trying to convict me to change and it is so so hard when I am caught up in the moment and stress of life. Would love to win the giveaway and you can help me KC2TC!! Your words are such a blessing and very timely.
Renee, I appreciate your thoughts on how to look and listen for God to correct and convict. I so often get impatient and fly off the handle with my grown children and say things that I can’t take back. Then I sit and listen to the condemning voice of Satan and literally believe that I am not a good Christian and I should not be in ministry. I am a bad person, not worthy to be a mother, then I stop and rebuke those thoughts and realize that God would never accuse me like that, he would gently give me words of wisdom and make a way for restoration and forgiveness. We are to learn how to correct, repent and restore relationships and not make the same choices, but to go to God first and ask for binding up of our thoughts before they reach out lips. Thank you again for your heart today