Can we have an honest conversation about guilt? Everywhere I go, women are wrestling with feeling guilty all.the.time. And I understand. It’s something I struggle with, too.
If you are familiar with the heavy weight of guilt, pull up a chair and lean in. I’ve invited my friend Ginger Hubbard to share with us some powerful truths she’s learning to hold onto – truths that point her back to God’s grace again again again. Truths she writes about in her book, “Guiltless Living.”
For so long in my life, I struggled with trying to be a good Christian.
Inevitably, I would blow it on a daily basis then proceed to beat myself up spiritually and emotionally.
In setting my standards high for being what I perceived the perfect wife and mom, I chose the woman described in Proverbs 31 as my role model. On one particular morning, I remember reading about her and making unfavorable comparisons.
She got up before it was still dark. I had rolled out of bed around 8:30 am.
She was well dressed in fine linen and purple. I was in a baggy, terrycloth robe with my hair pulled up in an orange chip clip.
She held the distaff while grasping the spindle with her fingers (not sure what those things are, but I am certain they contributed to her noble character). I held the dust buster to the crumbs on my bed sheets while grasping the empty bag of Doritos.
She provided good food for her family and was always on top of things. I offered a choice of Burger King or McDonalds and felt the weight of my unaccomplished to-do list crashing down on me.
In comparison, I did not measure up. I felt anxious, defeated and disappointed in myself.
I wanted to be the wife who was always cheerful, never irritable, and only said words that edified, encouraged and built up. I wanted to be the mom who never lost it and only spoke with kindness, wisdom and faithful instruction. But, as hard as I tried, I always wound up blowing it in some way.
I just could not achieve the “good Christian” status I desired.
Through prayer and studying God’s Word, I began to realize that no matter how hard I tried, I would never achieve being the perfect Christian. I learned that the battle of victorious Christian living could not be won by sheer willpower or by teeth-gritting determination, but by tucking myself underneath the full armor of God and trusting that God is not only fighting for me, but He has already won the battle.
In measuring our self-worth in accordance with our own performances, we not only become anxious, but we miss out on experiencing the peace and rest of who we truly are in Christ.
Our worth is not based on what we do or do not do. It is not based on our successes and failures. It is not even based on whether we sin a little or sin a lot.
Our worth is based solely on Christ and the atoning work He has done on our behalf. We are His children, purchased at a price, forgiven and fully redeemed.
Embracing this wonderful truth brings about freedom. It is the freedom to forget about ourselves and lay down our measuring rods of self-worth and ongoing scrutiny. It is the freedom to release the suffocating anxiety our weaknesses cause, and instead take hold of God’s grace given to us through the cross.
Join me today in letting go of performance-based worth and self-imposed expectations. May we purpose to rest in the victory Christ has already won and truly experience the rich and satisfying joy of guiltless living!
ENTER TO WIN {book giveaway}
Because Ginger has struggled so much with the issue of performance-based self-worth, she has a deep compassion for other struggling women. Se can relate and understand the mental, spiritual and physical exhaustion that comes from this way of living. If you are one of these women, Ginger’s deep desire that you will lay down your measuring rod of self-worth and stop beating yourself up so you can take hold of God’s grace and embrace guiltless living! Today, Ginger is giving away 3 copies of her new book, Guiltless Living!
Click “Share Your Thoughts” below this post to leave a comment and ENTER TO WIN.
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I have struggled with these same thoughts and feelings my whole life. I have never felt that I was enough – not pretty enough, not sweet enough, not smart enough etc. As a wife and mother, I failed everyday. I would do anything I could think of to make the wrongs right again, but it never seemed to work. I was doing everything I could do to be perfect, but I wasn’t able to do it. Having, now, two failed marriages, I find myself in a constant struggle to be the best (again) because I have failed so miserably. I don’t know how to stop feeling guilty about every wrong thing I have ever done and move forward in my life. I would love to find guidance in this so that I can learn to trust God to take care of these issues in my life.
Amen to that! Yes I used to do that and someone said God didn’t need my help. It is so much better being able to be His child and resting in Him.
WOW!!! What an amazing truth! We all as women struggle to ‘keep up’. To be ‘wonder woman’ with many different capes. I have learned to say often”No” I am not putting that cape on today. Or, ‘No” I took that cape off and shred it! We were each individually made for a specific purpose. A specific calling in Christ. I have struggled so much with “to-dos” that were never mine “To-Do”! Comparing myself. Trying to live up to a standard made by man NOT defined by God’s Word! Your words truly inspired to just keep on that path that God has for ME. Not Bobby Sue. Or Granny do right! 🙂
Thank you for your inspiration..I look forward to the entire read…
Still struggling, but God is good. He’s constantly showing me in His word and through writers like Ginger, Renee and others that He is (t)here. I only have to trust Him.
Thank you. I needed to hear that today! Would love to read more.
Really struggling with guilt and feeling unworthy right now so much that I have been questioning every decision. I check it or gather input from others before making even a very small decision which feeds the circular problem. Thanks for the uplifting reminder
Wow! It is awesome to know other women struggle in the same areas of life. Thanks for sharing.
Oh my goodness, guilt… yes please! I put myself through a never ending list of ways I don’t measure up, things I should have done, ways I could be better! He seems too good to be true, but I just need to remind myself of our unbelievable God and of His undeniable grace & mercy!
It seems like this us a 2 step forward, step back for me so many times, but with God’s grace, I’m still going forward!
I struggle with this everyday in all areas of my life!!! Would love to read your book…
Good read!
Thank you for your reaffirming words to help me in what had been a great struggle for me. I always was thought of as the “goody two Shoes ” in my life and when ever I did not meet My expectations or someone else , I lived a life of horrible guilt. My perfection was killing me. But, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has taught me that He paid it all. When I become over whelmed with today’s stressors I now go and pray in a quiet spot. Sometimes it’s even by just calling His name. I know that I can not do everything. What a relief. Thank you Jesus for loving me even through all my faults.
Sounds like a book I need to read. Great reminder that my self-worth is rooted in God and who HE says I am.
I pray God will help me with this! I have been touched by this devotional and in reading the comments. Life isn’t easy but God is so good to help and uplift us in our time of need. Thanks for this great devotional!!!
Goodness! I feel so defeated by my actions as a mother, daughter, co-worker, fellow human…and feel I try SO HARD to be the person God wants me to be and I manage to fail God regularly….even when I’m driving my car!! I listen to the local Christian music station and see that cross pendant dangling out of the corner of my eye from the rear view mirror and yet I let incorrigable drivers get the best of me. All. The. Time. I need to be more patient with other people…but I am not. Not meeting my own standards is exhausting but I have a God who reminds me that He is perfect for me and forgives so very easily when I fail. With today’s anxiety (and it’s not even 9am!) I am thankful to have read this devotion snip it today. Thank you!
Some days and maybe even weeks are better than others…what woman DOESN’T need to win this book? Life can be cruising along well, then WATCH OUT!! GUILT BUMP!! It can be caused by a song, by seeing a person from the past, by speaking with another woman going through a similar struggle…whatever…sometimes it is just my own silly mind (a satan!) driving the guilt knife back into my world. Hoping this book can help us all!
I thought I was abnormal!!! This arrived at a perfect time. Thanks for the reminder.
Okay, so I seriously need to read this book! Guilt is my middle name! Having high expectations of myself in many areas leads me down the path to guilt on a regular basis. I’m looking forward to reading more of this book in expectation of what the Lord will do in my life as I see myself through His heart of grace toward me. 🙂
My oh my did I need this. Talk about God’s perfect timing! I have been letting the words of others define me and taking everything to heart. This is the lowest of lows that I’ve been at because of the expectations of others that I didn’t live up to. I can try to convince myself is okay, but every part of me is telling myself otherwise. Trying to do life with what feels like the weight of the world on you is physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausting. Thank you for reminding me that my worth is not in what others say of me but what God says. I’m so thankful for Jesus and the freedom I have through him ❤
Great message, and I think the book will be a great read!