Can we have an honest conversation about guilt? Everywhere I go, women are wrestling with feeling guilty all.the.time. And I understand. It’s something I struggle with, too.
If you are familiar with the heavy weight of guilt, pull up a chair and lean in. I’ve invited my friend Ginger Hubbard to share with us some powerful truths she’s learning to hold onto – truths that point her back to God’s grace again again again. Truths she writes about in her book, “Guiltless Living.”
For so long in my life, I struggled with trying to be a good Christian.
Inevitably, I would blow it on a daily basis then proceed to beat myself up spiritually and emotionally.
In setting my standards high for being what I perceived the perfect wife and mom, I chose the woman described in Proverbs 31 as my role model. On one particular morning, I remember reading about her and making unfavorable comparisons.
She got up before it was still dark. I had rolled out of bed around 8:30 am.
She was well dressed in fine linen and purple. I was in a baggy, terrycloth robe with my hair pulled up in an orange chip clip.
She held the distaff while grasping the spindle with her fingers (not sure what those things are, but I am certain they contributed to her noble character). I held the dust buster to the crumbs on my bed sheets while grasping the empty bag of Doritos.
She provided good food for her family and was always on top of things. I offered a choice of Burger King or McDonalds and felt the weight of my unaccomplished to-do list crashing down on me.
In comparison, I did not measure up. I felt anxious, defeated and disappointed in myself.
I wanted to be the wife who was always cheerful, never irritable, and only said words that edified, encouraged and built up. I wanted to be the mom who never lost it and only spoke with kindness, wisdom and faithful instruction. But, as hard as I tried, I always wound up blowing it in some way.
I just could not achieve the “good Christian” status I desired.
Through prayer and studying God’s Word, I began to realize that no matter how hard I tried, I would never achieve being the perfect Christian. I learned that the battle of victorious Christian living could not be won by sheer willpower or by teeth-gritting determination, but by tucking myself underneath the full armor of God and trusting that God is not only fighting for me, but He has already won the battle.
In measuring our self-worth in accordance with our own performances, we not only become anxious, but we miss out on experiencing the peace and rest of who we truly are in Christ.
Our worth is not based on what we do or do not do. It is not based on our successes and failures. It is not even based on whether we sin a little or sin a lot.
Our worth is based solely on Christ and the atoning work He has done on our behalf. We are His children, purchased at a price, forgiven and fully redeemed.
Embracing this wonderful truth brings about freedom. It is the freedom to forget about ourselves and lay down our measuring rods of self-worth and ongoing scrutiny. It is the freedom to release the suffocating anxiety our weaknesses cause, and instead take hold of God’s grace given to us through the cross.
Join me today in letting go of performance-based worth and self-imposed expectations. May we purpose to rest in the victory Christ has already won and truly experience the rich and satisfying joy of guiltless living!
ENTER TO WIN {book giveaway}
Because Ginger has struggled so much with the issue of performance-based self-worth, she has a deep compassion for other struggling women. Se can relate and understand the mental, spiritual and physical exhaustion that comes from this way of living. If you are one of these women, Ginger’s deep desire that you will lay down your measuring rod of self-worth and stop beating yourself up so you can take hold of God’s grace and embrace guiltless living! Today, Ginger is giving away 3 copies of her new book, Guiltless Living!
Click “Share Your Thoughts” below this post to leave a comment and ENTER TO WIN.
Good read!
Thank you for your reaffirming words to help me in what had been a great struggle for me. I always was thought of as the “goody two Shoes ” in my life and when ever I did not meet My expectations or someone else , I lived a life of horrible guilt. My perfection was killing me. But, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has taught me that He paid it all. When I become over whelmed with today’s stressors I now go and pray in a quiet spot. Sometimes it’s even by just calling His name. I know that I can not do everything. What a relief. Thank you Jesus for loving me even through all my faults.
Sounds like a book I need to read. Great reminder that my self-worth is rooted in God and who HE says I am.
I pray God will help me with this! I have been touched by this devotional and in reading the comments. Life isn’t easy but God is so good to help and uplift us in our time of need. Thanks for this great devotional!!!
Goodness! I feel so defeated by my actions as a mother, daughter, co-worker, fellow human…and feel I try SO HARD to be the person God wants me to be and I manage to fail God regularly….even when I’m driving my car!! I listen to the local Christian music station and see that cross pendant dangling out of the corner of my eye from the rear view mirror and yet I let incorrigable drivers get the best of me. All. The. Time. I need to be more patient with other people…but I am not. Not meeting my own standards is exhausting but I have a God who reminds me that He is perfect for me and forgives so very easily when I fail. With today’s anxiety (and it’s not even 9am!) I am thankful to have read this devotion snip it today. Thank you!
Some days and maybe even weeks are better than others…what woman DOESN’T need to win this book? Life can be cruising along well, then WATCH OUT!! GUILT BUMP!! It can be caused by a song, by seeing a person from the past, by speaking with another woman going through a similar struggle…whatever…sometimes it is just my own silly mind (a satan!) driving the guilt knife back into my world. Hoping this book can help us all!
I thought I was abnormal!!! This arrived at a perfect time. Thanks for the reminder.
Okay, so I seriously need to read this book! Guilt is my middle name! Having high expectations of myself in many areas leads me down the path to guilt on a regular basis. I’m looking forward to reading more of this book in expectation of what the Lord will do in my life as I see myself through His heart of grace toward me. 🙂
My oh my did I need this. Talk about God’s perfect timing! I have been letting the words of others define me and taking everything to heart. This is the lowest of lows that I’ve been at because of the expectations of others that I didn’t live up to. I can try to convince myself is okay, but every part of me is telling myself otherwise. Trying to do life with what feels like the weight of the world on you is physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausting. Thank you for reminding me that my worth is not in what others say of me but what God says. I’m so thankful for Jesus and the freedom I have through him ❤
Great message, and I think the book will be a great read!
Oh my goodness. I’m pretty sure this book was written for ME!! Would love to read this now!
Amen! Love this devotion as it is something I’ve always struggled with too, but the more I study His word and spend time with Him the more I’m learning to let go and let God. Two of my favorite verses when I’m feeling anxious or like I just don’t measure up are, “Be still and know that I am God”, and “I can do all things through Him that strengthens me.”
The truth of the Word that there is “No condemnation in Christ Jesus” is so powerful. This book sounds like it aligns with that Truth and I’d love to read it.
I have always struggled to measure up to my own self-imposed standards of what God desires and requires of me. I have to remember that all he wants is a willing vessel no matter how cracked and broken I think I am.
Wow, this really spoke to me this morning!!! I have struggled with this all my life. I would love to read this and pass it on to my 3 daughters instead of passing on the idea that they have to be perfect wives and mothers. I want them to know that their worth is based on the One who loves them, our Lord Jesus and not on anything they do!!!!
I am guilty. I know God in my heart, but find it hard to believe I am worthy of His forgiveness. What a beautiful gift Jesus has already given us! How freeing to be able to let it go & give it all to Him! I know He wants me too – and I want to. I pray for strength and forgiveness and peace of heart for each of us struggling with the vice of sin and guilt. God bless you and thank you for your ministry!
Guilt… I have lived with this all my life. I am starting now to understand more and work past those feelings with God.
Wow! What a huge encouragement to know others struggle with guilt too! How awesome that gods desire is for us to live guilt-free lives.
Amen….
Guilt finds a stronghold in your heart and until you can release it to the Lord – it will find a way into your daily walk with Jesus. When I find myself feeling a little depressed I usually find that I am hiding guilt that I think I can just push down and cover it up. Thanks for the words that made me stop and realize that today I need to pray about those feelings of guilt in my heart.
Such a great point Nancy. Guilt has a way of hiding doesnt it?
My scripture this week has been Exodus 14:14- The LORD will fight for you, you need only to be still… Lately I’ve been beating myself up allowing my self worth to be determined by the decisions my children make, the ways I handle emotional situations and the choices from my past. When I think of being able to live a guilt free life, I feel like I can breathe and rest. Such an idea of peace. Thankful that God does fight for us especially those spiritual battles we face every day.
I have struggled with so many of those feelings! In our first year of marriage I felt a failure as a “Good Christian wife” because I wasn’t cooking elaborate meals every night. Truth is my husband told me not to because he wanted us to keep our eating simple. So I felt a failure when in fact all I needed to do was being obedient to my husband’s leadership!!
Thank you for this: “Our worth is based solely on Christ and the atoning work He has done on our behalf. We are His children, purchased at a price, forgiven and fully redeemed.”
I’m struggling with this issue
I struggling with the same issues. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing! I struggle daily with feelings of guilt, and battling daily to walk in Christ-given identity and not man’s.
Thank you for this devotion today. .. it hit the spot! God bless you!
I have been struggling with self worth since I lost my job. Thanks for the inspiring words.
Thank-you for writing this book……may it help all our comparative thoughts bow to Christ!
This is a book I need! I’ve been wrestling with the fact that I live in a sea of guilt but know God calls me to live in freedom.
Oh my gosh – I saw so much of myself in your writing, except for the chip clip but that sure made me smile. I am working through a lot of this and trying to not only grasp and work through it but share this with my daughter and other mothers in our church. The enemy loves having us in that “I can never live up mode” coz it makes him feel he is winning the battle but our God is so much bigger and won the battle long ago for all of us. We all just need to be reminded now and again with writings such as yours and others of the love our God has for us and be reminded that we need to only look at Him to know that He uses the broken and the imperfect to reach others for His kingdom. Thank you for your reminder this morning!
Thank you for sharing Renee! Not only do I struggle with a self worth spiritually but also physically with my eating. The comment about the dorittos made me laugh out loud! Thanks for starting off my day with a smile! 🙂
Yes it is a struggle, I don’t like to disappoint people, especially those close
Like you , over time I have lived feeling the frustration of not being the so called perfect Christian. I set my standard so high that it is impossible not to fail. But God is teaching me to take things one day at a time and do the next right thing. Great post and I am sure I would enjoy your book immensely. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for this! In so many ways what you say is true. How I need God to forgive me and help me! And, I NEED TO LISTEN AND OBEY!
This is so me. I have come a long way though. But it still creeps up and the Lord reminds me of who I am in Him. And how secure I am in Him.
You don’t know how providential this post was today. After a night of tears and conversation about the exact topic and my extreme struggle with it, you were speaking to my heart. Thank you.
Oh that means so much Lauren! I worked on this post last night – God knew it would be just what you’d need :).
Ditto! Ditto! I thank God daily for His grace and mercy! And thanks Renee for this timely and encouraging post!
Wow, this devotional was so encouraging this morning. It is comforting to know that I am not alone in these struggles. I would love to read this book. Thank you so much!
This looks like a very interesting book, I would like to read it.
That’s me too. I am learning to let things go and let God. My battle now is when those thoughts and feelings creep back in and I think I have to struggle again. God and I are still working on me but I know that when I let go I have a better day all around and people around me are always walking on eggshells.
Right on point and always on time! Our Lord is so faithful.
I’m so excited to have received this email today! Last night at bible study a woman shared with her trying to be good. I can’t wait to share this with her! You are truly amaZing! Thank you so much for all you do!!!
God bless
Mindy
Thank you for your sweet joy-filled note Monday. God’s timing amazes me.
Love when He validates through posts like this! We were just talking about this at Women’s study last night….God knew I needed it again. Thanks for sharing, have a blessed day!
God’s timing is so sweet – and perfect! Have a wonderful day friends!
This message was written for me!
Amen! Thank you, I needed this message today!
I’ve spent a lifetime trying to be perfect and failing. Finally, I am beginning to work on “me.” Certainly relieves a lot of stress when you relax and don’t think you have to be perfect all the time. Unfortunately, my failing health is what finally opened my eyes. The process has begun. Hope it doesn’t take another 60 years.
Praying for you Karen!
I struggle with this daily. I just want the peace of feeling enough. Oh’ how I need this book. Thanks for the devotional today!
So glad it encouraged you Elizabeth!
Thank you Lord that I have someone to run to when the lies of the enemy try to invade my mind. Thank you for calling me Daughter. Thank you for giving me a place to belong.
Amen!
Wow, ever so true. How is it I thought I was the only one.
Me too! There are at least 3 of us!
I love how ya’ll encourage one another. You’re the best!!
Thank you. Even if I do not win the book, which I would love to have and sincerely need, I have gain much just from your post. It is so good to know that others, like me do not measure up and that we fail daily. The fact that it is up to God rather than me is so good to hear repeated. When I fail, I feel so full of guild and I needed to be reminded. Thank you and God Bless.
I struggle with a lot of those same issues; but I do know Jesus loves me for who I am. As messed up as we can all be I trust and have complete faith in all Jesus does and will do for us.
Wow! Now, that’s the truth. Thank YOU, JESUS.