Would you have considered yourself a confident teen?
Oh, how I wish I could “yes.”
Confidence. It’s what I needed most and had the least.
Sometimes I wish I could rewind the clock and tell my 14-year old self what she needed to know to have lasting confidence. Do you ever think to yourself, “If only I had known…”?
I do. Oh, how I’d love to sit down with my teenage-self and chat. First I’d give her a big hug because she needed one. I’d tell her that all those things that feel like the framework that holds her world together – they don’t.
The boyfriends and friends whose acceptance she craves. The grades and gossip she worries about. The parties and popularity.
I’d tell her Truths that would equip her to make better choices. And God’s promises that would empower her to live life differently. To live a life worthy of who she is a one of His girls.
When I think about people who knew my 14-year old self, I’m pretty sure a few would be surprised that I’d say I wasn’t confident back then. The reality is, I struggled with self-doubt, discouragement and insecurity from the time I was a little girl. But I wasn’t about to let anyone know it.
I believed the lie so many believe – the one that convinced me that my value was determined by my status and my stuff, my personality, appearance, performance and possessions.
I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t feel like my life really mattered. But I wanted it to. So I looked around and tried to be what I thought others wanted, needed or expected me to be. And it was exhausting.
How about you? Were you a confident teenager? Or do you sometimes wish you could turn back time and talk to your teenage self, too?
Well, we can’t go back. But, today I want to share how we can can live forward by speaking truth and confidence into the lives of those who are there, in those teenage years, right now.
My friend, P31 teammate, speaker and now author, Lynn Cowell, has written a book for teenage girls and their mom’s, called His Revolutionary Love. Infused with truth to help young girls find lasting confidence and security, Lynn shares how they can know without a doubt that they are loved – empowering them to make wise choices and live life without regrets.
Today, I’ve asked Lynn to share a little about her passion and her book with us:
Confidence is a major factor in young people when it comes to the paths they choose. Those craving acceptance, approval and affirmation to an unhealthy degree find themselves trapped. Caught between what they know is right and what they believe will win friends, they struggle like a fish beached on the sand. They are uncomfortable, miserable even, but they don’t know how to navigate themselves back to what they were made for.
Thanks to some amazing women in my life, I discovered confidence in the unconditional love of Jesus as a teen. Revealing to me some passages in God’s word I had never seen before, it was as though I was slipped hidden love notes from Jesus. The truth that Jesus was wild for me (Psalm 45:11), that He saw no flaw in me (Song of Songs 4:7) and that He actually enjoyed me (Zephaniah 3:17) transformed the way I saw myself.
Do you want your daughters, nieces and granddaughters to be filled with a confidence that is true and can stand the pressure of this world? “Girl power” just doesn’t hold up.
Lasting confidence only comes from one source: knowing who they are. Only a foundation built on unconditional
love will endure. Do you see a girl struggling with low self-image? Can you read in her eyes, “Won’t someone love me the way I am?”
She needs to know when Jesus looks at her, He is not disappointed in her. She needs to know that love from a guy, be it a dad or a boyfriend, can never fill the love gap in our hearts…but He can.Maybe you’ve thought about investing in a young girl, but you don’t know how.
On my website I’m offering a free leadership guide for my book “His Revolutionary Love”, a study for girls ages 13 – 17. Filled with practical how-to’s and thought provoking questions, this guide provides every step. What young woman can you begin to pour truth into? Ask Jesus to give you one; just one girl that you can make a difference in; one girl that you can begin to change the world through. Here is an easy way that you can impact one girl.
To celebrate the release of His Revolutionary Love, we are launching a book blast! From May 2nd – 4th, for every book that is purchased on Amazon or Proverbs 31 Ministries, a second book will be given to a girl who might not otherwise have the opportunity to own HRL.
Some of our partner recipients include: Children’s HopeChest, a ministry preventing and rescuing girls from sex trafficking and Sunshine Gospel Ministries, a ministry which works with teen girls in the Chicago projects.Will you join me? Let’s start a love revolution, friends; a radical movement to spread the truth of True love!
What is one thing you would tell your 14-year old self or a teenage girl growing up today about God’s Love?
Lynn and I would love to know. And she’s going to give one of you a signed copy of “His Revolutionary Love,”. To enter to win, simply click on the word “comments” right below Renee’s name and type in the white box and share with us.
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Don't go along with anything you know is against your values.
Who cares what anyone thinks if you're a square?
As a woman who has worked as an image consultant for over 25 years and who God has moved to working with teen girls, I would say and do say, "I love you! You are worthy, beautiful and powerful." God has opened a door for me to mentor a group of middle school girls which has been a blessing for them and even me! Who knew?! Last week I was asked to work with and have lunch with the girls who are having life difficulties because no one else can reach them. Who knew?! I thought I was destined to mentor and encourage women only and now God has taken my dream of being a mother and is using it to mother someone else's daughters. How mighty and amazing!
Monica
I'd tell her it's not as bad as she thinks, and she is going to be okay. And that she is lovable, and is loved by GOD …. the ONE who created her in HIS image. And that she needs only listen to and follow HIS voice. And I'd also tell her that it is okay not to have it all together …. because GOD does, and HE is the ONE in control.
Thank you for this post. I was that insecure young lady and wore that mask well into my adult years …. until God figured I'd been hiding there long enough 🙂
I would tell my 14 year old self to study the gospels to see just how much God loves me by knowing what Christ sacrificed on my behalf. In that I should have my identity, trust and value.
I would tell her that true happiness only comes from God, and that it is not a bad thing to feel like you don't really fit in with anyone. I never felt like I truly clicked with any one person like I wanted to until I met my husband. I'd also tell her that it's okay not to be perfect and live according to plan…God usually has other ideas anyways 🙂
I would tell myself that you don't have to be "perfect" and that my Father, God loves me just for who I am not for what I have done.
I would tell myself Jeremiah 29:11 over and over and over again and that despite having an alcoholic father HE was going to do a complete Romans 8:28 in our family one day.
Dad stopped drinking years ago, received Jesus two years ago and was baptized this past Resurrection Sunday!
If I were to talk to my 14 year old self, I am not sure what I would say. I was a shy pastor's daughter that made friends with the not so popular crowd and never did anything "bad." I guess I could tell myself to "Be yourself" and not worry about what the other people think.
I would tell myself so many things, but one of the first that comes to mind is – "don't worry about what everyone else thinks and no matter how hard you try you can't please everyone!!" Looking forward to sharing this book with my girls (4 and 6) someday, but for now am planning to share it as a graduation gift for some gals I used to coach!! Thanks for sharing, Jill
I would tell myself that I am a Jesus girl. Truly loved, truly cherished, a princess in the kingdom of the Messiah Jesus. Oh, how I wish I would have know that then. It would have saved me so many years of looking at myself with regret.
Bless you
Oh my goodness! God has not only given me one girl, but five! This book is just what I need to teach them. These girls in my life are 12, but girls aren't waiting until they are 14; it's happening now! They tell me things they won't tell their moms so we have discussions about what Jesus would do or how Jesus would feel about different situations. Two of the five are from Christian home, but one of those homes is dysfunctional. The girls are all looking for love, sadly in all the wrong places. (Even my granddaughter who lives in a wonderfully loving home, so go figure!) They either turn to boys or their peers, usually receiving jealous, hurtful comments from peers. I tell them that Jesus thinks they are special just the way they are, but it seems they only care how the world views them. This book may be the answer to reach them before it's too late. Maybe it's time to start a weekly Bible study here in my home using this book as a guide! Would love to have a signed copy from which to teach! Carolyn
I would say…"the only love and acceptance that comes with no strings attached is the love of God!…There are no expectations, no limitations…just unconditional love. All the stuff doesn't matter and that God knows your heart, it matters not what others think. Live your life for an audience of One!" These are the words I find myself speaking to my four girls 🙂
I would tell her that, although it feels as if no one loves you and you sometimes feel as if you can do no right, Jesus loves you unconditionally. There is no record being kept of all your wrong doings that will somehow hurt those you love. If you ask God for forgiveness, he loves you and wll never hold those things against you. Jesus loves all of you, no matter what you look like, or how many friends you have or more importantly, how many boyfriends you have! With God;s love all her hope and dreams can be fulfilled!
I wish I could say everything that you guys are saying– but I am still trying to figure it out myself. I have had a lot of disappointments throughout life and I still don't know how God is supposed to fit.
I find I tell myself everyday through my beautiful 12 yr old daughter what I was never told.
I love you, God loves you for exactly who you are. God made you perfect in his eyes and mine. This chapter in your life when you feel that nothing goes your way and no matter what you do, you feel it isn't enough. Remember this is simply a chapter to the story of your life. With God and you as the authors the possibilities are endless. And when you feel alone remember to hear your heart for God is there. Touch your arms for he is huging you always because you ARE his princess.
Friends,
I have so enjoyed reading your comments. The truly wonderful thing is that although we can't go back and talk to ourselves, we can pour into the life of a teen girl who is within our grasp.
I so hope you will choose to do just that! I would love to come alongside you as you do. Every Wednesday I write on my website at http://www.LynnCowell.com on how we can invest in the teens in our lives. I hope you will come by!
If I could go back in time I would tell my 14 year old self that I am fearfully & wonderfully made & that God loves me more than I could ever imagine.
Rachael, look into God's future for your life. He created you for a plan and a purpose that no one else in this world could do. You keep looking for God in guys that you date and friendships that you have. Love and respect yourself enough to know that no man will ever fill the gap that God can. I know you've been through literal hell on earth, but those experiences the enemy tried to destroy you with are the very ones God will use in your life to reach out to other women that have been through a similar circumstance. And most of all, one day you'll discover just how much your Daddy loves you. I know you've heard that all your life, but one day, God will show you His love and you'll never, ever be the same. You are an amazing woman and don't let anyone tell you that you're not worth anything again. You are a value, a jewel, something so precious in the eyes of your Daddy, who has been with you every moment of pain in your life, holding you, crying with you. Just don't forget that your life has meaning and purpose. You are His forever!
I would tell my young 14 year old christian self to stay grounded. Don't waste valuable time on potential failures that won't let you mature in your faith. Potential bad choices and failures can be prevented if you are mature enough to trust in your Lord. Do not store all your treasures on earth. If you set boundaries and stay faithful you will have more treasures in Heaven.
Stay strong. Do not conform to the ways of the world – they lead to a path of distruction and hurt. Cling to Christ, where you will find true satisfaction, love and joy. Everything else is a fascade.