I was completely blindsided. I’d been called into a meeting at my church with another women in leadership who was upset with me. She’d been upset with me for months, but I had just found out about it.
Someone had told her I didn’t agree with the way she was leading. But that wasn’t at all what I’d said – months before – in a meeting with several other leaders. I had simply been asked my opinion about a situation and I shared my thoughts and they weren’t directly about her at all. And I was so sad that I was just being asked about it, several months later.
I was hurt. She was hurt. We both volunteered countless hours in ministry, pouring our hearts and our lives into women in our church. All the while, we were on the same team and assumed we both fully supported one another. But now the trust we had built for years was coming unraveled.
It was a mess. I was a mess.
I was done. I decided I wasn’t strong enough. Wasn’t resilient enough. And I was exhausted from trying.
That afternoon I went home and cried. Told God I was ready to call it quits. Laying my head down on my desk, I said I couldn’t do it anymore.
But… {my heart whispered} there was more to it… “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20
I knew in that moment if I was willing to die to myself and completely rely on Christ in Me I could experience resurrection power.
I could walk away from God’s calling on my life or I could allow Jesus to live HIS life through me.
I could die to my desire to protect myself from getting hurt again and choose to tap into His power by relying on the strength of His Spirit in me .
I wasn’t enough … wasn’t strong enough, resilient enough, or humble enough. But Christ in me was more than enough.
In my P31 devotion today, I talked about how we can turn away from our feelings of defeat and doubt by living in the Light of God’s Truth. And here is one of the most important truths:
Jesus did not die on the cross just to get us out of hell and into heaven. He died on the cross to get Himself out of heaven and into us! That is resurrection life – and the very place where we get our enough!
If you have been crucified with Christ, you no longer live, but Christ lives in you!! The life you now live in the body, you can choose to live by faith in the Son of God, who loved you and gave himself for you.”
When you feel inadequate, remember God says: You are CHOSEN.
“‘You are my witnesses,’ declares the Lord, ‘and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he’” (Isa. 43:10).
When you feel afraid, remember God says: You are REDEEMED.
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine” (Isa. 43:1).
When you feel unloved, God says: You are LOVED.
“You are precious and honored in my sight, and . . . I love you” (Isa. 43:4).
When you feel forgotten, God says: You are REMEMBERED.
“See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands” (Isa. 49:16).
When you feel insecure, God says: You are SECURE.
“Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders” (Deut. 33:12).
When you feel unable or unstable, God says: You are ABLE.
“The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights” (Hab. 3:19).
When you feel worthless, God says: You are CALLED.
“Youare a chosen [woman], a royal [priest], a holy [daughter], God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light” (1 Pet. 2:9).
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I love it, Renee! Thanks for sharing openly and encouraging those of us who can relate to the struggles of leadership! Blessings!
This is just what I needed to hear. I wrestle with this lie from satan often. That I am just not enough. I have said it to myself in so many ways… lie after lie after lie. I’m not pretty enough, smart enough, generous enough, thin enough, organized enough, loving enough, Godly enough, sweet enough, talented enough and the list goes on and on. It has endless aplications and satan knows just what to say to put those seeds of doubt in my head and watch me squirm. I am so thankful for your words of encouragement. It is nice to know that I am not alone in this struggle. God is with us every day. With Him we are all enough in everything we do. Thank you for laying out some of those “I feel” lies from satan and replacing them with Gods truth and light…for those shadows of doubt truly do dissapear when we focus on Gods light and love!! 🙂
I enjoy reading your devotions as they all come in a time that I am going through what your message is about. My supervisor introduced me to you and your website. The both of us share your messages and it helps us to continue to provide excellant service to our organization. God has blessed you to send us blessings. Please continue to provide and I will continue to pray that God sends you the message to give.
Oh, isn’t it funny how you don’t even know you need something till you get it and that emptiness is suddely filled and it brings you to tears. Thank you for listening to God so he could use you to speak His love into my life today. 🙂
I had this happen to me and was totally blindsided! I had NO clue I had offended this woman. We worked it out and I apoligized even though I did no wrong, but it still lingers in our relationship. I’m fearful of offending others and have stepped back in a few areas. But on the other hand God has opened other doors of ministry for me. Thank you so much for sharing your ups and downs. God has really been using your ministry in my life and I have been able to share what I have learned with many others. It’s wonderful to serve a living, loving and forgiving God.
Don’t let the e-mail address name fool you, I actually rarely feel “glad2bme” and suffer daily with a lack of self confidence, so much so that I rarely leave my house. This makes me sad since I know this is not what God intended for my life because how can I possibly be a great witness for Him if I never see or talk to anyone else? Sounds like your book was written for people just like me and I hope I can win it and change my life so that maybe someone else’s life will be changed for the better as well!
Thanks so much for this devotional and especially for the bible verse printout. What a great reminder to keep handy in my bible.
Thank you for this devotional. I know God’s word is true and reciting His promises always helps me!
Yesterday I put your book in my Amazon “shopping cart” to purchase next time I had a little extra money.
This morning came and it was rough. I was struggling with self-doubt and jealousy. God and I were working through it, but I was feeling defeated and weak. At the same time I was grateful that He is a big God who hears my heart’s cries even when they are not eloquently spoken.
As I was struggling I felt nudged to read one of my daily devotions. I opened my Proverbs 31 email and started reading today’s devotion, “When You Feel Like You’re Not Enough.” Seemed appropriate. I started reading without really looking at the author’s name. Your words spoke to me and echoed God’s truth. You referenced Isaiah 43:1-4, a verse that has been sitting on my desk for weeks. I am precious in God’s sight and He loves me. I smiled at the connection.
As I finished the devotion, and went to print it, I noticed the author. “Renee Swope, Author of A Confident Heart.” The book that is sitting in my shopping cart waiting to be purchased and read. Now I really smiled at the connections.
God spoke to me. He told me as plain as day that I am good enough. I am loved. I am a daughter of the Most High. He also reminded me that it is time to believe His truths about me and live a life of confidence through Him.
Thank you. Your words and God’s truths have blessed me immeasurably today. I pray you are encouraged in your walk and blessed in return.
Wow, God is good, this is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thanks so much!
Thank you Renee for your choice words. I keep coming back to these thoughts about being enough. About not being picked & therefore not loved. Pray that I finally hear and belive that being loved by God IS enough. Abba is big enough to love each of us and still be enough. Appreciate your counsel. Grateful. My part s to believe. Blessings…
This story is really beautiful and inspirational. This story was what I needed to hear. It gave me hope and confidence. I always felt that other people were better than me or I wasn’t good enough. Thank you for the beautiful Bible verse, Renee.
Thank you for this devotional. It helped me put into perspective that when I doubt, I am hindering God. Thank you also for the “When you feel” statements!
I would love to win this book and package. We all at times frind ourselves overwhelmed with life. We are at burn out and need a good cup of coffee and a nice soak in the tub. I find your reminders fill that for me.
They bring me back to our Heavenly Fathers reminders that we are not walking this walk alone. We need our armour on and our minds tuned to Him. Thank you for all your reminders and your willingness to be obedient to Him.
Thank you for sharing this devotion. Actually, a very close friend of mine sent it to me and it was just what I needed today. Although I find myself in a much better place spiritually these days, doubt always seems to be a struggle. When you spoke of how “your insecurities were creating a huge shadow over your soul-a shadow of doubt,” that really resonated with me. I went through a similar dark period in my life after a trouble-some diagnosis, and found myself very much in the shadow’s of darkness, I created. Through God’s amazing graze, and much prayer, He brought me back into the light. Thank you for being so transparent.
Bless you.
Pressing On…
My husband and I foster a sibling group of three and we have had them since newborns from the hospital and the oldest is 8 and the twins are 7. All three have Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder and so all three have different challenges. This last week has been especially tough and I have been very discouraged and I have been feeling like I am not able to do what God has called me to do. It’s too much for me and I feel I am not the one God should have chosen to do this. Thank you so much for your sweet reminders in scripture. The one that spoke to me the most is Hab. 3:19 God says I am ABLE! Thank you so much for your encouragement!
misunderstandings sometimes can be the work of our enemy. If he can get us to feel hurt… He can knock us down and out if we let him. What a powerful encouragment you have brought to me this morning…. I have been struggling with a best friend over this misunderstandings…. And today I now know how to respond…. Thank you so much!!!!!
This devotional was great. I want to especially thank you for the printable promises!
Thank you for sharing your devotion on self-doubt today. It certainly sunk into my heart and confirmed those feelings of doubt. Thank you for the reminder to re-focus our attentions not on our insecurities but on God, and to keep our focus on Him. I would love to have a copy of your book. It would help me with a new women’s ministry we started in our church for young mothers.
I thank God that you have a heart to help and teach others’ His Word from a woman’s and mother’s perspective. Thank you for your dedication.
Renee,
Thank you for the wonderful reminder of what we are to our God. A reminder to live in His light and His truth. I stuggle with doubt daily and need constat reminding of where this doubt is coming from. It is not from Him. I am printing out the scriptures you listed to remind me daily of the truth. Bless you.
I have such a hard time talking about myself. I wake up each morning thinking that I did not get enough accomplished the day before even though I worked from dawn to dust. I seldom give myself time to sit and read with a good book. It is amazing that such a vast majority of women feel so overwhelmed. This mind set can only be overcome through the power of Jesus Christ. I thank you that you have allowed God to use you to be the vehicle to carry forth His message of depending on Him. Do not shut yourself down.