Do you ever wonder why you didn’t get the gift of confidence like others you know? I used to feel slighted by that. But over time I realized there was more to confidence than just being born with it.
Lasting confidence comes from knowing and believing that our value isn’t determined by our performance or competence. But that is not always easy to believe because we have an opponent who will do all he can to convince us otherwise.
Some avoid talking about the devil because they don’t want to give him too much attention. But I think it’s important that we realize we have an enemy. The Bible calls him the accuser of the brethren. Satan loves to accuse us and make us feel worthless so that we never become all that God created us to be!
One of the ways he works is by getting us to doubt ourselves. In my P31 devotion today, I shared how a few years ago I realized I was going along with the enemy’s schemes every time I’d do something wrong and then ask: What’s wrong with me?
A few years ago, it dawned on me that every time I asked, “What’s wrong with me?” I was actually telling myself something was wrong with me. Then I would try to figure out my elusive fault so I could change it or hide it. Do you ever do that?
It’s not what God wants us doing to ourselves, but Satan loves for us to focus on all that is wrong with us (real or perceived) so that we become consumed by self-doubt and condemnation as a result. Peter tells us what we need to do about him: “Keep your mind clear, and be alert. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion as he looks for someone to devour.” (1 Pet. 5:8, GW).
Keeping Our Minds Clear
Jesus says in John 14:26 that God has given us an Advocate, the Holy Spirit, to teach us everything and to remind us of all that Christ said. The Holy Spirit lives in us as believers, and He is great at helping us keep our minds clear. Let’s ask Him daily to clean out the clutter of insecurity, pride, and Satan’s lies in your thoughts and replace them with the clarity of Truth.
Staying Alert
We can stay alert by listening to our thoughts. If our thoughts are against us, then our feelings will be too. What we think determines how we feel, and our feelings often determine how we live.
Think –> Feel–> Live
However, with the power of the Holy Spirit and God’s Promises, we can ask Jesus to change the way we think, which will change the way we feel and eventually transform the way we live!
The next time you start having negative feelings about yourself, stop and ask the Holy Spirit to show you what you’re thinking that is making you feel that way. Then compare your thoughts about yourself, or the circumstances you are in, to God’s thoughts. Do they match? If not, find a promise in God’s Word to replace the lie that has filled your heart with self-critical thoughts For instance:
- When you feel defeated, focus on the truth that God says, “In all these things [you] are more than [a conqueror] through him who loved [you]…” (Rom. 8:37, NIV)
- When you feel worthless, focus on the truth that God says, “You are precious and honored in my sight, and . . . I love you.” (Isa. 43:4, NIV)
- When we feel inadequate, focus on the truth that God says, “’You are my witnesses,’ declares the Lord, ‘and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he.’” (Isa. 43:10, NIV)
If we have Christ in us because of our faith in Him as our Savior, then we have God’s power and promises available to live with a confident heart!
* If this is an area of your life you sense God leading you to dig deeper into, more about this part of my journey and this topic are in chapter 6 of A Confident Heart,
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As part of a little celebrating we’re doing at my house, (see note below) we’re giving away 5 copies of A Confident Heart along Confident Heart Scripture stickies we’re having created this month!! Just leave your name or a comment to enter by clicking on “Share Your Thoughts” to let me know what God has you thinking about after reading this post, or my devotion. I’ll be reading your comments today and praying for you. It would be my honor to do that.
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Today my family and I are celebrating some “only God could do this” news we recently received…over 20,000 copies of A Confident Heart are in the hands of women around the US, and it’s now being published in Korean!! We’re totally blown away – that in the midst of my father’s passing, my daughter’s speech disorder diagnosis and my mom’s hospitalization all during my book release – God is doing immeasurable more than we could even imagine. I know part of it is women reading reviews and hearing from other women so I want to thank you for sharing those, too. JJ and I love reading the stories in the reviews and seeing what God is saying to your hearts through the words He poured through mine in each chapter!!
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God’s timing is so perfect and it feels like he has handpicked each P31 message for me this week! It has been a rough couple weeks at our house and I have thought to myself numerous times- I am “not enough”.
Your book has been on my list of “to reads”- sounds like I could use Ch 6 sooner than later 🙂 Thanks for sharing your faith and insight!
I quite often berate myself for any number of things–forgetting something, doing something wrong, failing to do things I need to do. Thank you for reminding me who is planting those thoughts in my mind.
I’ve been so busy lately that I barely get to the computer to read my devotionals. There is tremendous stress in our household and in my life. I often second-guess myself for making the deicisons I have made. I feel like I have let those closest to me down. But after reading your devotional, I realize that I need to be more careful of the lies that Satan tries to fill my head with. In actuallity, when I’m in a less-frenzied state of mind, I know that my intentions are to do what is right for my family. Yes, I fall short, but that doesn’t make me less of a person or less loveable. I need to remind myself of that. Today, the Lord really helped me with a long list of important phone calls that I needed to make. He also helped me accomplish more in the last couple of days than I could expect—being as tired and overwhelmed as I have been. ” I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me.” I have a busy Friday and Saturday ahead, as my husband (I hope) and I will be going with my son to check out the college he plans to attend next year. Of course I have to make sure that my two daughters at home are well taken care of. The Lord has blessed our family so abundantly. I thank and praise Him for His gifts. I must keep my focus where it belongs–on God’s truth and His promises–especially when life seems to give me more than I feel I can handle. Your prayers for peace in our family, especially between my two daughters would be appreciated. Also, my husband and I are having some issues. We’ve made it 20 years, but I’d like to make it many more—and make the next years better than the past. It is challenging for each of us in our own ways. Please keep us in your prayers. Thank you for your devotionals. I can relate to the issues you mentioned of your father’s passing, your mother’s hospitalization, and your daughter’s speech disorder. I lost my dad six years ago, and I miss the times we spent together. But I trust that God had his reasons for taking my dad home to be with Him. It’s also difficult to see my aging mother dealing with her struggles. It’s hard when a loved one’s mind starts to fade away. And I know about speech disorders, because I work with students in the schools 5 days a week, helping them with speech and language. Working with them has been the best job outside of my home, that I’ve ever had. The speech professionals should be able to help your daughter achieve and succeed. Speech pathologists and paraprofessionals that I know, are so dedicated to their students. God bless you in all that you are going through. The Lord is opening new doors for you and will bring some special people into your life. And remember all that we can do with the strength that comes from the Lord.
Think –> Feel–> Live.
So true! Over the years my distorted thinking became automatic and it definitely affected how I felt about myself and spilled over into how I lived (fearful). I am on the mend! Thanks for your help.
Thoughts of self-doubt came to me tonight at church. Sunday, a friend informed me that a new member needed me to help her with sign language for her 4 yr. old. I had no idea who this individual was but gave the friend my phone number. I’m in no way proficient in the language but I am learning. Tonight that new member was sitting behind me and introduced herself when she noticed me signing in worship. We talked briefly and during the service Satan kept telling me…’what are you thinking? Your not qualified to help anyone.’ I was able to push the thought aside. Thank you Jesus. However, I’m sure those thoughts will return.
I feel callings, but then doubt myself and what I can achieve which I know is the enemy’s work since he doesn’t want me to live up to my full potential – this also makes me excited because if he’s scared it means something big is going to happen! Thank you for your wise words, it always helps me to feel more confident that I am chosen as it says in Revelation 17:14. Blessings to you and your ministry.
Thank you for this study. I have been praying to keep my thoughts filled with the confidence in Christ, I have been a person with low esteem but through prayer and these studies I am believing in the love that Christ has for me and I have been taking those scriptures and reading and praying them daily. Right now at this time I am going through court issues with my son and my confidence has been growing week, but I know that God has everything in control and I have put my confidence in him, what the world says is in possible God says it is possible and I believe. Thank you for sharing. Also congratulations on this study going beyond your expectations!!
I’m thinking about a ladies bible class where I signed up to teach a lesson next week. Every time I think about it, thoughts of “what was i thinking” come along. I feel like calling it off. Just pray that I can have the confidence to teach next Wednesday. I just feel that I am not the most knowledgeable to teach all those ladies.
Congratulations on your book celebration ..
Your stories have hit ne everytime. I can sure relate to satan giving me the thoughts I am having right now. I am struggling with negative thoughts, and failure, as well as guilt for any decision I make. I am going to try to ask God to help me whenever those thoughts enter.
Thanks so much for the emails helping tremendously.
God brought you into my life at the right time. Struggling with feelings of not being at good parent was attacking me for some time. Now I’m able to delight myself in His promises. Thank you for your devotion and your loving heart.
Thank you for the reminder that I am precious, honoured, and loved. I need to remind myself of that, rather than asking “what’s wrong with me?” when I fall short at being the wife, mother, and teacher that I want to be. Thank you Renee for honouring God and for reminding us of His wonderful promises! God bless you richly!
What’s wrong with me is something I ask often. It took readi ng your words for me to realize that those thoughts have been planted by the lies. I have a choice not to believe Satan, but to listen and believe God. Thank you for reminding me of His promises. I will be tilling the thoughts planted by Satan and sow the thoughts of God so I can reap all the harvest He has planned for me. Thank you.
Oh, Renee, this is so awesome that you already have sold 20,000 copies here in the US. But what is more exciting is that your book will be translated into Korean. Maybe this will be first of many other countries your book with be translated. God is Good – all the time!!!!
Today’s post really is speaking to my heart. I do not think very well of myself. One of my dear friends actually told me a couple weeks ago I need to stop talking bad about myself, stop saying “what is wrong with me!!!!”. I know she is right, but I sometimes have to shake my head when I see myself doing not so smart stuff.
Thank you for your ministry and your words of encouragement. I will note the Scripture passages in my prayer book.
I love, love, love this book! Every chapter gets better and better. Renee, you are literaly helping thousands of women who have issues with self confidence and doubt. I am so grateful to God for you and for him bringing this book into my life. I can’t begin to tell you how much it is helping me. Thank you so much.
Great devotional! All to often I speak out negatives about myself and how I need to really pray against them.
Would love to win a copy of your amazing book.
Thanks – Colleen G.
I needed this chapter so much. I struggle with feelings of rejection after my husband of 24 1/2 years left me eleven years ago for another woman. All the past feelings of rejection and all the self talk I have done I feel is in my past. I feel God telling me to focus on myself as “healed” and not in the process of being healed. That is so encouraging to me – more of a revelation. I never wanted anybody to look at me and think I was stuck in the past or not “moving on” as my ex told me he was doing the week after he left me! And truly, I didn’t want to not move on. I really wanted to, but I didn’t know how. I have honestly been waiting on God to heal me. What is it taking so long? I don’t know, but I am trusting him.
“He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul. Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death (doubt) I will fear no evil for thou art with me . . . “
Thanks for sharing your words of encouragement. I was really encouraged by “Keeping Our Minds Clear.” It all starts in the mind-I pray and ask the Holy Spirit to take control of my thoughts-I’m taking it one step at a time and have made good progress. Thanks again for blessing me with your words. This is wonderful and you are great! God bless you!
I have not been a confident women, but I want to be. Your words of encouragement help so much. I love your scriptures to help in times of struggle. I will use them when I am being attacked by lies and need to believe the truth. I need to read your book.
Renee, I can’t begin to put into words how much Chapter 6 has helped me and how much I have learned. I spent the last two days just focusing on the word REJECTION and learning how that has defined me for my whole life and why I allow it. I learned some hard truths and now I know I can overcome these feelings of never being good enough…..
You are a very special woman and I am blessed to be in this study. God Bless you and your family.
Would love to win your book! I have been very reflective today – it’s my birthday and a milestone birthday at that – and life hasn’t been what I thought it would be at this point in time. Thanks for sharing your real-life examples from your own life! It helps seeing others struggle too and are victorious in the midst of it. Congrats on all the good news about your book!!!!!!!:)