Do you ever wonder why you didn’t get the gift of confidence like others you know? I used to feel slighted by that. But over time I realized there was more to confidence than just being born with it.
Lasting confidence comes from knowing and believing that our value isn’t determined by our performance or competence. But that is not always easy to believe because we have an opponent who will do all he can to convince us otherwise.
Some avoid talking about the devil because they don’t want to give him too much attention. But I think it’s important that we realize we have an enemy. The Bible calls him the accuser of the brethren. Satan loves to accuse us and make us feel worthless so that we never become all that God created us to be!
One of the ways he works is by getting us to doubt ourselves. In my P31 devotion today, I shared how a few years ago I realized I was going along with the enemy’s schemes every time I’d do something wrong and then ask: What’s wrong with me?
A few years ago, it dawned on me that every time I asked, “What’s wrong with me?” I was actually telling myself something was wrong with me. Then I would try to figure out my elusive fault so I could change it or hide it. Do you ever do that?
It’s not what God wants us doing to ourselves, but Satan loves for us to focus on all that is wrong with us (real or perceived) so that we become consumed by self-doubt and condemnation as a result. Peter tells us what we need to do about him: “Keep your mind clear, and be alert. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion as he looks for someone to devour.” (1 Pet. 5:8, GW).
Keeping Our Minds Clear
Jesus says in John 14:26 that God has given us an Advocate, the Holy Spirit, to teach us everything and to remind us of all that Christ said. The Holy Spirit lives in us as believers, and He is great at helping us keep our minds clear. Let’s ask Him daily to clean out the clutter of insecurity, pride, and Satan’s lies in your thoughts and replace them with the clarity of Truth.
Staying Alert
We can stay alert by listening to our thoughts. If our thoughts are against us, then our feelings will be too. What we think determines how we feel, and our feelings often determine how we live.
Think –> Feel–> Live
However, with the power of the Holy Spirit and God’s Promises, we can ask Jesus to change the way we think, which will change the way we feel and eventually transform the way we live!
The next time you start having negative feelings about yourself, stop and ask the Holy Spirit to show you what you’re thinking that is making you feel that way. Then compare your thoughts about yourself, or the circumstances you are in, to God’s thoughts. Do they match? If not, find a promise in God’s Word to replace the lie that has filled your heart with self-critical thoughts For instance:
- When you feel defeated, focus on the truth that God says, “In all these things [you] are more than [a conqueror] through him who loved [you]…” (Rom. 8:37, NIV)
- When you feel worthless, focus on the truth that God says, “You are precious and honored in my sight, and . . . I love you.” (Isa. 43:4, NIV)
- When we feel inadequate, focus on the truth that God says, “’You are my witnesses,’ declares the Lord, ‘and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he.’” (Isa. 43:10, NIV)
If we have Christ in us because of our faith in Him as our Savior, then we have God’s power and promises available to live with a confident heart!
* If this is an area of your life you sense God leading you to dig deeper into, more about this part of my journey and this topic are in chapter 6 of A Confident Heart,
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As part of a little celebrating we’re doing at my house, (see note below) we’re giving away 5 copies of A Confident Heart along Confident Heart Scripture stickies we’re having created this month!! Just leave your name or a comment to enter by clicking on “Share Your Thoughts” to let me know what God has you thinking about after reading this post, or my devotion. I’ll be reading your comments today and praying for you. It would be my honor to do that.
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Today my family and I are celebrating some “only God could do this” news we recently received…over 20,000 copies of A Confident Heart are in the hands of women around the US, and it’s now being published in Korean!! We’re totally blown away – that in the midst of my father’s passing, my daughter’s speech disorder diagnosis and my mom’s hospitalization all during my book release – God is doing immeasurable more than we could even imagine. I know part of it is women reading reviews and hearing from other women so I want to thank you for sharing those, too. JJ and I love reading the stories in the reviews and seeing what God is saying to your hearts through the words He poured through mine in each chapter!!
Renee, thank you for all that you’ve endured to write this book! You’ve shared that it wasn’t easy and your family struggled through that year. I, for one, am immensely grateful that you chose to endure and keep going (and your family, too, thank you!)…because what God has done through your writing is tremendous. There aren’t words enough to describe how God is using this book to show me things about my own heart, life, journey — it’s transforming, Renee! And it’s really oh so very good! The lessons I’m taking away from every chapter are so valuable — I feel as though I’m finally getting into the realm of being the Jesus Girl who God dreamed me to be and I’m walking in the right direction. 🙂 Blessings to you and your family! When we get to Heaven one day, I am going to give you such a big hug!
I just watched your vlog post over at Melissa Taylor and you mentioned your starting up another round of Confident Heart. When will that be? Sadly,I’ve kinda have missed most of Melissa’s study.
Thanks so much for you timely video message God used you and spoke directly to my heart:-)
thank you for the post and the book offer. too often I doubt myself and am having to retrain my thoughts to go to God and His word and not the negative stuff
This is me! Iam always asking what is wrong w/ me. i am striving to believe its all about God, not people.
Renee,
Thank you for always speaking life to my Spirit and encouragement to my soul. I leave your page with renewed confidence time after time. It amazes me how so much of what you write is my story, too. 🙂 I guess that makes us soul sisters. 🙂
Love,
shelly
Renee,
I can’t thank you enough for writing this book. I can’t tell you how much I LOVE your book! I have never had confidence I needed to except myself as I am. I always thought that I was not pretty, smart, or able to measure up to those around me. This book is helping me let go of everything that has held me back from living and loving life to the fullest and letting God be in complete control. As i read each chapter I feel like everything I have gone through had been written on the pages. I could feel God nudging me to get your book and read it. There is so much highlighting in the book, that the pages are turning yellow. I have also recommended this book to several people and I know they bought copies. Thank you again!!!
Thank you so much for this. I’m a professional musician and have struggled with confidence for my entire career. God has been working on healing me, slowly but surely, and this post is another step along that journey.
As I read your post, I was convicted about the many times I put myself down to others with my remarks. I realize they are a reflection of what I’m telling myself. I vow today to stop doing that as I believe it discredits the God who made me.
This morning I was listening to the radio as I was getting ready for church and you were talking about A Confident Heart. As I was listening I had tears streaming down my face as I have really been struggling with this the past few weeks. I am feeling called to the mission field in Swaziland, to teach orphans and help grow a school. The thoughts in my head lately have been not of God. They have been, Can I really do this? Can I really leave my son(He is in college) Why would I think I could do this….and yet I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Thank you for your words, reminders and putting it all out there for us. I’m excited to read your book. I’m so glad God lead me to flip on my radio this morning…I love how He does that. 🙂
Thank you for writing this book. I have only read the part that can be downloaded for free from Amazon but it has already spoken to me. I really need to get a copy.
I appreciate your message today esp. the scripture Is 43:10. I need to claim that more often. So many times in my life I have been valued for what I can do for someone & if I can’t do something for them, then the heck with me. God always values us for who we are in him, not for what we can do for him. I need to remember that I was Chosen by God before the foundation of the world just for me, for who I am. Thank you for sharing your book with so many. His word does not return void & the sending out of this book is his word reaching so many watch for the awesome return!! PTL
I was in an abusive marriage for many years. I did not have the confidence in myself to be without him. Finally as I focused more on God I realized that God would keep me in His care no matter what. I am married now to a wonderful man who truly loves me for the woman God made me to be. Feeling that kind of love is amazing!!! Allowing myself to be fully loved by my Abba Father is even better. I still have moments that I struggle with my confidence and worth but I try to keep reminding myself who I belong to!!!!
I love the scriptures that you chose to help focus on Truth. If only more people would use the “sword of the Spirit” the Word of God…. plunging it into the lies the devil spews out.
I just wanted to tell you that your Proverbs31 devotional today, titled “What’s Wrong With Me?” was EXACTLY what I needed to read!
For the past week or so, I’ve been feeling VASTLY inadequate, incapable, etc. To the point where yesterday I just had absolutely no idea what to do with myself! I think it all came to a head yesterday because, for most of the day, I could not make a solid decision. Every time I tried, another idea of what I should do came into my brain and I literally could not bring myself to do even what I knew I SHOULD do. I thought that maybe it had something to do with the insomnia I’d had for the past three nights because I was just so incredibly SAD all day yesterday, to the point that I would begin crying and not know why.
THEN, last night while reading a fiction book, I came across the phrase “the fear of self-doubt” and a light went on! I thought, “That’s it!” And then reading your devotional this morning, YOU even mentioned self-doubt. So I thanked the Lord for answering my prayer, which was pretty much, “What’s wrong with me?”
Thank you for being obedient to His Guidance and being His messenger to me!
That’s so exciting, Renee, that God is using that book so well for his glory and now in Korean too! Yay, God!
I agree and resonate with your post above that how we think and feel leads into how we act, or choose to act. Like that verse, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is.” Thanks.
Jennifer Dougan
http://www.jenniferdougan.com
This devotion was “right on time” today, for me. I must admit that because I receive SO many emails in a day that I don’t have time to read them all and most end up in the “trash” bin.
But something (or some One) told me to open this up and read it. I am so glad I did. You expressed my heart perfectly on the subject of confidence.
I am a 45 year old woman with an 8-1/2 year old daughter (sweet as can be!) and a 2-1/2 year old son (also sweet, but all “boy!”), a wonderful husband and an emerging career as a fine artist (a dream I’ve had since I was 3 years old!!!) So why am I so un-confident or have feelings of low worth? You explained that beautifully. And now I know to arm myself with the Word of God which tells me otherwise.
Thank you!
Thank you Renee for this series. It has encouraged and blessed me. Please be in prayer for my two daughters, Sophie and Rose, who are teenagers/young adults and trying to find their way in this world. Especially for Rose who is struggling tremendously with fitting into our culture and challenging boundaries. Thank you for your support and prayers. All the best with your daughter and your own family.
Love,
Maryann
Hi, I’m not sure if you will get this or not, I was trying to enter to win a copy of your book. I so need to read it, but since it was yesterday’s devotion, the new one is coming up instead of yours. I don’t know if it is too late, but I need lots of prayer and encouragement in this area and have enjoyed your emails tremendously! I simply can’t afford to buy the book or I definitely would! If it is not too late please enter me in the contest to win a copy of your book.
Thanks so much,
Michele
I can’t tell you how many times I have actually hit myself in the head and said “you big dummy!” Thank you for teaching me that when I do that, I’m actually insulting God.
I would truely love to win one of your books.
Renee I can not even bring to tell you how much your book has touch my life and open my eyes to what I tell myself.. I won your book on encouge cafe a couple of days ago I have never wonn anything in my life by win your book told me that god is hearing my I am going to send the book I won to my daughter who lives in flordia and just had a baby new years day when I talk to her she is always worrying that she not going to be a good mommy so I believe that You book will bless her as much as it has me ..Thank You for writing this book you truly are a blessing from god
I have just started recieveing newsletters and blogs from Proverbs 31 Ministries. It is such a blessing to hear from other Women of God about the same issues I am having.
Please continue the work that God has obviously blessed all the women there with.
Thank you for the reminder to redirect our thoughts to the truth. It’s so easy to allow the lies to destroy my confidence and determine my worth.
I signed up for your devotional Tuesday night. When I received the email with the first chapter of your book, I was in the midst of quite the personal pity party. Reading that first chapter, with tears streaming down my face, opened my eyes to all God has been trying to tell me. It took me about 10 minutes after reading before I was able to verbalize the prayer at the end of the chapter, but I did it. It’s amazing what speaking that truth out loud does for your soul. I don’t know my future or the plans He has in store for me, but I can be confident in His truth knowing that whatever happens will be used for good and will bless me. Thank you for sharing your experiences and helping all of us recognize our value in Christ. It’s so hard, sometimes, to recognize our face as reflected in His love.
To know that God loves me, Isaiah 43:4 and I am precious to him…Powerful truths that I needed to hear today and every day….We have such an amazing God…..Thank you, Renee, for sharing your thoughts and encouragement!!
Thank you for your blog! I appreciate your encouragement for myself and all these other wonderful women needing to hear how much we are loved.
I also wanted to thank you for posting the Personal Scriptures on the download page of your site. I input my kid’s names and printed them out on decorated paper and hung them in their rooms.
God Bless!
I forgot to mention your topic of satan’s lies. I am in a class right now learning a lot about psychology and things about myself. I get overwhelmed and listen to the lies about all these things I need to change about myself. That I should be better with everything I do than I am. That I’m not as good at the things I do as the next person is. Thanks for your reminder that we may have things we’d like to change, but we shouldn’t give in to the lies of the enemy telling us we are defeated because we are not worthy. For too long, I have listened to this myself. God has spoken to me and reminded me that in my past, the things that truly needed to change, HE changed in me. I don’t have to know all the answers to all my problems, real and imagined. He is in control (if I get out of the way) and HE will gently lead me to change or acceptance.
Thanks again!
I so needed these words of confidence! Thank you so much for them. I love the scripture passages that you included as these will go into my journal as a daily reminder to myself. I look forward to your devotionals as many days they are written for me and my family! God bless you as your share your faith with “us” women!!
I’m also 55 y.o. and should’ve done this study LONG ago! My nature is to be a ‘pleaser’. It is not easy to try to please others because that is impossible. We need to fucus on pleasing our God, but I still try so hard to be all I can be to my family, church, etc. This brings much negativity as I can’t always please others and do it to MY expectations. I’m very critical of myself when things don’t go right. I’ve been trying to break the pattern of critical thinking recently and I’m being blessed by your ministry and the book, “A Confident Heart”. Thank you very much. I’m going to print todays devotional and tape it up where I will see it many times a day. We are never too old to change with God’s help! Thank you.
I don’t know how you do it, but your devotions are always so on the mark for what I am going through. Thank you for sharing your God-given talents. He is truly using you as a blessing, I know not only for me but others as well. Keep on persevering in the Lord. God Bless!