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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

{week 2} To Be Known Is to Be Loved

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From Chapter 2, A Confident Heart

“Jesus knew Sam’s (the Samaritan woman’s) story and He knows yours. The Greek word for “know” is yada. It means a deep emotional experience; a bonding between two people when one truly feels the emotions of the other. Jesus knows your pain, fears, doubts, and disappointments. He understands your dreams and desires.

Although some of us feel uncomfortable that God knows so much about us, it is good to be known, to be listened to and not judged. Jesus is the only One who can meet our deepest needs to be accepted and delighted in simply because of who we are. We can offer nothing but our presence, and He will desire us just the same…

There are many religions but did you know that Christianity is the only faith that offers a relationship with the living God? We don’t just know about our God; our God wants us to know Him. And we were created for that kind of relationship.

Jesus created us to have lasting soul-security in knowing we are valued and pursued by the One who knows and loves us—the One who created our inmost being and wove us together in our mother’s womb (Ps. 139:13). Have you let the gospel of God’s grace move from your head to your heart, so that you know without a doubt you are known intimately and loved completely by God?” (p. 40 printed copy)

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Our word this week is  “Known”

Our verse of the week is Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” (NIV)

This week’s video message is below. Please click the arrow to watch it  – all the way through. You’ll be so glad you did.

(from video script)

I WANT TO BE KNOWN
I want someone to look at my face
And not just see two eyes, a nose,
a mouth and two ears
But to see all that I am, and could be
all my hopes, loves and fears…

And YOU know me
You actually know me
all of me and everything about me
Every thought inside and hair on top of my head
Every hurt stored up, every hope, every dread
My past and my future, all I am and could be
You tell me everything,
You tell me about ME
And that which is spoken by another would bring hate and condemnation
Coming from Youu brings love, grace, mercy, hope and salvation
I’ve heard of One to come
who could save a wretch like me
And here in my presence, You say
I AM HE…

(read full script here)

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Today’s Assignment:

  • Read this week’s memory verse (Jeremiah 1:5). Ask God to remind you all week that He knows the way you long to be known, pursued and loved!
  • Start or continue reading chapter 2. Remember, take your time and highlight or underline sentences that resonate in your heart.

Connect in Community:

What about today’s video or sentences in Chapter 2 resonate most with you?

  • Please click “Share Your Thoughts” below this post and do just that.  (Remember to go to my website to do this)
  • Optional: I’d love for you to share one of them on our Confident Heart Community Page and/or share them with me on Twitter (@reneesswope). I’d love to retweet them! Also let’s use #AConfidentHeart so we can encourage one another and find them easily.

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I’ll announce last week’s winners in my Weds. post.

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Comments

  1. pg. 31—–“Being honest about who we are and how we are doing is especially risky when it comes to our insecurities. We fear that if people know that we doubt ourselves, they’ll start doubting us too.”—–As a woman, this is me!

  2. Just a question, or request I should say. Would it be possible to put the questions on a printable download as well? I am new at using a Kindle and as much as a like it, I miss being able to write in my book and answer the questions on paper.
    I am truly enjoying everything about the study!

  3. What a powerful chapter and a powerful video. It is such a relief to know that because God’s love is perfect, I don’t have to be. I want to get to know God better and I want Him to know me so that I can have the gift He offers – the gifts of transformation and salvation.

  4. “Now I keep to myself and by that I mean the pain that keeps me in my own private jail” speaks volumes to my life. I have known and loved our Heavenly Father, His son and my Savior Jesus, and my helper the Holy Ghost since I was a little girl. I have always lived my life openly for Him, yet consistent ridicule and rejection from those in my life who are supposed to be a blessing to me brings me to this statement. I am so thankful for this book and on-line study to be strengthened by other sisters in Christ. Thank you!

  5. There are so many things that have resonated with me from chapter 2. “I tried to earn my worth through a performance based value system, convinced that if I did the right things, said the right things, wore the right things, and looked the right way, then I’d be worth staying for.” Reading this was like having an out of focus picture suddenly come in to focus. It resonated deep inside me because this is my story. While my parents never physically left me they did leave me emotionally. “I wanted to be known and loved for who I was. Yet if I let my guard down, I was afraid someone would say I was too sensitive or too serious. It had happened before. So I pretended everything was fine.” I could have written these words.

    • Heather, I also lived with parents who were emotionally distant. I know now that they have loved me all along, but they never expressed it. Like you I tried to earn their attention, affection, and love. Chapter two was as if I had written it myself- I was reading it and thought- I could have written this in present tense… and I look forward to being able to talk about these struggles in past tense some day when God has helped me to walk through it to the other side. Yes, emotional absence is just as painful as physical absence, in my opinion.

  6. Ch2 is so challenging to me. I don’t know if it’s convicting or I just can’t wrap my head around it or what it is, but it’s a tough one for me to swallow. Each time I read it I’m pushed even further. This whole idea of letting people (or even God for that matter) in to be known on a deep and intimate level is so foreign to me I guess. When you’ve spent 30 of the last 37 yrs running away or hiding from letting ANYONE in this ch is a lot to chew on!

  7. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the video clip. It is perfect for our chapter and for our hearts this week.

  8. Where do I start? Do we really have to let others know how we’re really doing? Are we high maintenance if we do? And no I do not want my family, friends, or co-workers see that the paint is peeling, that I have flaws,bad days and not positive or inspirational at times. Yes over the years I have learned to say: “I’m fine.”
    Although I do tell them I’m fine, underneath I am not and I really want to say: I am FRAZZLED, IRRITATED, and EXHAUSTED! My friend sent me a text yesterday that read: OMG , enough is enough, this has got to be wearing you to a frazzle. And yes, days lately are stressful, yes I do feel at my limits some days, with husbands health issues, dealing with insurance companies, not to mention workman’s comp. But I try to remind myself each day, that God is in control, that he carried us through a major motorcycle accident years ago, that affected us both, not only health wise but made our marriage stronger. I was told by my mom: that this will either break you or make you stronger, thank you mom. I have seen how hiding and isolation has been in control just like it was shared that I have been wearing a mask, because I heard many times, let it go, your to sensitive, or to emotional. So yes I have stepped into the shadow. But the most hurtful is when a love one, will not support you on a decision that you have had a difficult time making, even though they might not understand why I made the decision I made, I would like for them just to support them., to say I understand this was difficult even though I do not agree I do support you.
    So for now I just continue to pray for I know that God Loves Me, just the way I am, because He made me, and that He alone knows me from the inside of my heart to my outside appearance. I find comfort in listening to the Christian Music Station daily and I find meaning with the words and songs. I have learned so much just in 2 Chapters, I almost can not put the book down. Thank you Renee for your love of the Lord, your ministry and your fellowship. God Blesss

  9. The very title of the chapter is underlined twice in my book. “Because God’s Love is Perfect, I Don’t Have To Be.” What a simple truth, but SO powerful to a woman who has been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember… in order to earn affection and love. Renee’s story was regarding a father who left her physically, mine was present in the home but absent emotionally. I cannot remember him ever telling me he loved me, and he only said he was proud of me when I achieved something exceptional. So that’s what I learned love was- performance based. Thankfully I can say that my relationship with my earthly father and my father as a person have been transformed by Christ in recent years, and that same man now embraces me when I visit and tells me he loves me on the phone. How amazing is the power of God! I still fight against the patterns of thought and behavior that became a part of me, but I am blessed that my relationship with him has been healed.

    I am blessed to have two girl friends with whom I can be extremely vulnerable; I do my hiding in my marriage. The one person who I should be able to bare my soul to, I struggle the most to do so with. Not necessarily because of anything he’s done- but because I am insecure. I don’t want him to regret making the choice to join his life with mine if he sees my darker places. One of my friends has recently encouraged me in this area… but it is hard. I know that perfect love casts out fear… but we are human and imperfect and that scares me. Yet at the same time “I longed for someone to see past the exterior facade and look into the secret places…” Constant inner tension about this in my relationship to a wonderful godly man.

    I have grabbed on to Philippians 1:6 as a promise that speaks to my perfectionism! It’s okay if I’m not ‘there’ yet, because He will get me there- and Christ is much more reliable than I am to do so! It gives me hope on the days that doubt whispers “You’re not good enough” or “You’re doing it all wrong.” I can now shout back- “That’s because I’m not yet complete. I’ll get there.”

  10. I have heard the story of the “woman at the well” all my life, yet it never dawned on me that Jesus specifically planned His timing and His journey at be at the well at this exact time. It seems pretty simplistic, but to think that the Savior of the world would schedule His day so that He could meet with this woman and change her life just blows me away! Such a personal God we have to do this for us. Wow!

  11. I think the questions at the end of the chapter actually revealed more to me than reading the chapter itself. I have realized this before, but I see God as a rules-based judge on his throne, waiting for me to do something wrong and then punish me for it. I don’t know where this comes from, but I’ve had this view of him since I was a child. I love my dad, but he was always a “Do as I say, because I said” kind of father. I’ve never believed that works will save a person, but I have believed the lie that God will reign down all sorts of problems on us if we don’t follow all the “rules.” It’s hard for me to break this but I believe God is opening my eyes. Re-reading Sam’s story, I realize that I don’t give God credit for pursuing me. I often don’t feel it, but I’m sure it’s because of my distorted view of Him. He is a God of mercy, tenderness, grace. And yes, He is a Judge, but He is the most fair Judge there is. I often feel distant to Him, but I know that’s my fault. I just have to figure out how to listen to God’s truths and not satan’s lies. Starting to pray for discernment and wisdom.

    • I fully understand. I’m praying that I, too, can start viewing God as He really is.

  12. Knowing God has been such a thrill in my life journey. This chapter and video just reiterates the awesome bond God has with each one of us. That bond can’t be broken as long as we don’t let it! God is Good! All the Time!

  13. The video for this week was really good. I enjoyed reading the blog about “being fine” too. Sometimes when I am not fine which seems to be daily now, I complain to people who are closest to me, and everyone else just sees me as fine. In our busy culture when we ask people how they are it is more of a greeting like hi than actually seeing how they really are. Something I try to work on with others is when I ask them how they are doing is to wait for the answer. This is kinda ackward though because they are usually just giving one word answers and keep it moving.

    Something else I struggle is the motivation to change my attitude from one of lack of confidence to having confident in Christ. I made a comment about how the paper I wrote was awful, and a friend of mine said I am always saying that everything I do is terrible. I always have a negative view of myself. It is really hard to want to change this attitude because it is so engrained in me. Growing up and still today, all I hear form my family is what I am doing is not good or good enough. I am so stuck in a rut. In addition, sometimes I get to the point where I don’t know what to say to God so I don’t talk to Him. I have many areas that I need guidance in, but I feel like most of my prayers are focused on emotional things I need to get over or things that are focused on the day to day instead of the future.

  14. This chapter and verse has spoken volumes to me this week because since the new year I have been dealing with the pain of a severed relationship while simultaneously healing from a traumatic childhood. I have recognize in dealing with both circumstances that a deep desire to be affirmed has been echoing from my heart. I don’t want to want or feel like I need the affirmations of these people so this week I am praying for God to open my mind and my heart to the realization that I have all that I need in Him, that He loves me and that I am good enough just as I am.

  15. What is really coming out for me as I’m reading is that I’ve used the “I’m fine” phrase for way too long. I’ve been hurting deeply for years and I have repressed those feelings. This has led to me being depressed and doubtful of who I am, my calling, and where i want to go (career-wise). God is using this study to help me see how it’s my own facade that has me where I’m at. I look at other people and i see them smiling and having fun and I wonder to myself “will I ever be happy?” I’m not talking about the surface happy that comes and goes, but about the deep-down, joyful happiness. I’m always sad. This leaves my husband bewildered b/c he doesn’t know what to do. He is a new Christian with one foot still left in the world. I have also had one foot in the world these past few years and i feel God telling me to come back in and let HIM heal the wonds that have been keeping me in my “just fine” place. It’s a process and takes one step at a time, but I think i’m learning to trust Him to heal my dark places that have been glossed over. I am looking forward to more of this study and to God healing me and to not having eternal sadness all around me. 🙂 It’s possible…God has shown me. I just need to let Him take me to the place I need to be.

  16. I keep coming back to the video b/c each time i listen i hear something new. Today it was “you tell me about me”. The thought of any one knowing me well enough to tell me about me brings regret for time wasted in foolish pursuits. Then I stop and think this is GOD who knows me this well. It is humbling to think HE still wants me. I am thankful for God’s mercy and grace b/c without them I will never make it to heaven. So I continue with the study to rid myself of secrets and shame. Thank you Abba for being a father to the fatherless and promising to never leave me or forsake me.

  17. What stood out to me most in Chapter 2…”Jesus is the only one who can meet our deepest needs to be accepted and delighted in simply because of who we are, we can offer nothing but our presence and He will desire us just the same.”. Why is it so easy for us to seek to have our needs met by something or someone else, when we know this fact????? I also loved the statement, “our God wants us to know Him.” That really amazes me daily, that my Creator wants to know me!!!! I have not had very many close spiritual friendships other than a very few, very special and dear sisters in Christ, who happened to move so we are separated by distance, I have been frustrated trying to build other special spiritual friendships and the lack of desire from others to “make time” to really get to know one another. The whole time though, so thankful that God wants to know me, spend time with me, and I have real,y sought comfort and encouragement from the time I am spending with Him.

    The last statement from this chapter I loved “The only way we’ll have a confident heart is if we move beyond knowing about God to knowing and relying on Him, depending on His Word with our whole heart, mind, and soul,”. This has been and will continue to be my focus moving forward.

  18. We each are worthy. Funny how you can accept God’s gift of salvation the work of the cross and chatter to Him all day long yet still not truly understand that He gets it. He gets you. Us. We each of us. He knows us. Me. You
    What a gift!
    Funny: how I’m in a bible study called “The Woman at the Well” and I never really thought about what that really was all about just the basic story.
    Thank you Renee

  19. God is certainly moving here. “Have you let the gospel of God’s grace move from your head to your heart, so that you know without a doubt you are known intimately and loved completely by God?” At first my head answered, well of course. I’ve always known Jesus in my life. I know His word for me, His promises. To not harm me, but for a hope and a future. I’m raising four daughters and teaching them His promises. His love. But suddenly conviction hit. And whoa!Nelly! Did I ever want to just ignore that initial twinge. I have His joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart, right? Really? Suddenly I stopped to look at my heart. Knowing He knows me. Knows all my insecurities. My cowardice. Deep down where I am so scared I’ll do the wrong thing. So scared to act if I don’t know for sure what to do. So sure I cannot possibly be the one He needs here. To do this thing that is staring me in the face. To speak the words that need to be spoken. When everything around me says it’s down to me. What I decide. Deep down where I finally have to admit, am I really trusting Him? To lead me to do the right thing? And he SEES that! He KNOWS that. To face knowing that He knows? A fear, a hesitation creeps in. And yet. And yet. AND YET!!! He knows and He loves me. How incredible. And He meets me right there. At my well.

    I read the poem first. But when I watched the video…wow. I realize, I SO want Him to meet me at the well! At my well. To make me face myself. To fill me down to my heart with His living water. Pure living water. So I can be strengthened to…do. Whatever it is that needs to be done. In His love. In His way. With whatever abilities He’s given me. Confidently. To His glory.