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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

{Week 1} To Be Known Is to Be Loved – chapter 2

Jerem 3.5

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We’re going to read chapter 1 and 2 this week, so today I wanted to lead those of you who are ready to go with me to the next chapter.

From Chapter 2, A Confident Heart
 “Jesus knew Sam’s (the Samaritan woman’s) story and He knows yours. The Greek word for “know” is yada. It means a deep emotional experience; a bonding between two people when one truly feels the emotions of the other. Jesus knows your pain, fears, doubts, and disappointments. He understands your dreams and desires.

Although some of us feel uncomfortable that God knows so much about us, it is good to be known, to be listened to and not judged. Jesus is the only One who can meet our deepest needs to be accepted and delighted in simply because of who we are. We can offer nothing but our presence, and He will desire us just the same…”

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Our word this week is  “Known”

Our verse of the week is Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” (NIV)

This week’s video message is below. Please click the arrow to watch it  – all the way through. You’ll be so glad you did.

(from video script)

I WANT TO BE KNOWN
I want someone to look at my face
And not just see two eyes, a nose,
a mouth and two ears
But to see all that I am, and could be
all my hopes, loves and fears…

And YOU know me
You actually know me
all of me and everything about me
Every thought inside and hair on top of my head
Every hurt stored up, every hope, every dread
My past and my future, all I am and could be
You tell me everything,
You tell me about ME
And that which is spoken by another would bring hate and condemnation
Coming from Youu brings love, grace, mercy, hope and salvation
I’ve heard of One to come
who could save a wretch like me
And here in my presence, You say
I AM HE…

(read full script here)

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Today’s Assignment:

  • Read this week’s memory verse (Jeremiah 1:5). Ask God to remind you all week that He knows the way you long to be known, pursued and loved!
  • Start or continue reading chapter 2. If you already did or you are just starting, read it slowly and highlight or underline sentences that resonate in your heart. Journal your thoughts if you want the lessons to stay with you.

Connect in Community:

What about today’s video or sentences in Chapter 2 resonate most with you?

  • Please click “Share Your Thoughts” below this post and do just that.  (REMEMER: If  you are reading this via email, you will need to click here to go to my blog to watch the video and share in the comments section.)
  • Optional: If you are on Facebook and/or Twitter, I’d love for you to share your favorite quotes on our Confident Heart Community Facebook Page and/or share them with me on Twitter (@reneesswope) I’d love to retweet them! Also let’s use #AConfidentHeart as our hashtag. 🙂

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Comments

  1. For me, I have been abandoned by everyone in my life and have a hard time with the idea that it will change. I never knew the love of a natural father (although he was alive) and when my Mom died all I ever heard was “What will we do with her.” Not a good feeling~ There’s more but basically I find it hard to believe that “family”
    can be like that and yet looking beyond those things and forgiving them all I just need to accept me but this book is already in only 2 chapters showing me a different way of seeing what I need to see so I can believe that God really does love me all the time. Thank you for letting God show you so you could show others.

  2. Wow this is my first study of this kind! And my insecurities kicked in on the first day, what do I post? will it be as awe inspiring as those who have posted before me? Can I keep up with reading all the posts? All the questions and self doubt. But then I re-read out verse He knew me before I was formed …He knows me!

    • Leslie, I am so excited that you made the decision to join this study. God has brought you here for a reason. I am certain that this journey will take you deeper into your relationship with God. I pray that He will grant you strength as you work through this study. Remember, do not let the enemy get a grip on you with thoughts of self-doubt and insecurity, god has created you for so much more.

  3. All of chapter 2 was great. she captured how I was feeling, and I thought I was alone. I pretend to be ok, bc I don’t want ppl to get close and see my cracks and flaws. I have been pretending everything is fine for so long and wearing a mask I don’t know what is real about me sometimes. I don’t feel I’m worth the love. How can I get to know God if I doubt He loves me and he wants to know me?

    • I KNOW THE FEELING ABOUT LETTING PEOPLE GET CLOSE TO ME, TRYING NOT TO WEAR MY MASK AS MUCH, BUT I WONDER TRULY TOO, WHO I AM, IT SEEMS LIKE I’VE LIVED SO LONG AS A FAKE, BUT ONE THING I HAVE GRASPED IS THAT HE DOES LOVE ME, FLAWS AND ALL, KEEP READING YOUR BIBLE, GO TO A BIBLE STUDY IF POSSIBLE, WATCH PASTOR D. JERIMIAH ON TV, HIS SHOW HAS REALLY HELPED ME, HANG IN THERE GOD IS CREATING A new THING IN YOU! PRAYING FOR EVERYONE ON HERE!

  4. I try to order the book unfortunately there is an error before i proceed with the payment, it is because I’m not within Canada/US country ? Any other way that i can purchase the book ? I really want to have one copy but I do not know how. Please advise. GOD BLESS 🙂

  5. I’ve read chapter 2. First I have to say, you make the story more clear and uinderstandable simply by calling the Samaritan woman “Sam”. Then you spoke life to her story at the well. It was pretty amazing!

    Thank you so much for telling these things about your life. Your obedience to God will lead a lot of hurting people to their healing. (If you talk about the hurt, the enemy doesn’t have as much to hold over of our heads. Expose the secrets.). We’re all fixable with God’s help–and with people like you willing to share their story, struggles and victories.

  6. I have been totally amazed while reading all of the previous posts! I feel as if I have something in common with each woman and before starting this study, I honestly thought I was the only person in the world who had these same feelings of self doubt. This study is definitely a gift from God! Thank you Renee for being obedient to Him. I will be in prayer for all the women participating in this study. There are so many hurting hearts out there behind our pretty masks we charade. God Bless

  7. I enjoyed this chapter. The poem reminded me a lot of my first experience with God.
    I knew my life had been changed forever and wanted everyone to experience what
    He had poured out on me that day. It still brings me to tears.

  8. The Pastor at my church showed that video awhile back. In one word…”WOW”! The tears freely flowed!

  9. I grew up in a family that went to church every Sunday. Honestly, I don’t believe my parents were Christians back then ( they did give their lives to Christ in later years) going to church on Sunday was just what you did. I was in the fourth grade when I asked Jesus into my life. I was so excited! I ran home to tell my family and all they could do was tell me everything I “couldn’t ” do and how if I didn’t behave 100% all the time, He wouldn’t want me… And on and on. It was from that point on in my life that the insecurities set in and began to grow.
    I believe in my heart that God led me to this book and this online study. I believe that through this, He will break these chains and set me free! So, for me, the sentence in chapter 2 that really touched my heart was “He wants us to find lasting soul-security in knowing we are valued and pursued by the One who knows and loves us – the One who created our inmost being and wove us together in our mother’s womb “

  10. Renee – in so many ways I can relate to you. I have had tears of recognition numerous times reading Chapter 2 – for the 2nd time.

    I didn’t grow up knowing about God or His Love either. My family was not “church goers”, prayers or teachers of God’s Word OR Love. My “closest encounters” as a child was through friends and neighbors who took me to “Vacation Bible School” and Sunday School. But my understanding was very limited.

    Through some very hard times in my life (three divorces, bankruptcy in which I lost a business, home and everything worth anything including any self esteem I had left – and many heartaches) I came to know of God’s Grace and Love. But, like your words on page 43 I have believed IN Him for many years now, but I STILL struggle to BELIEVE HIM COMPLETELY. I KNOW He loves me and forgives me. I was amazed the first time I read through the Bible and learned of the people He chose – people that had done far worse things than I did! That truly empowered me to believe that He COULD use me to do His Work! But yet….I STILL beat myself up for the mistakes I’ve made and the ways I think I’ve let Him and others down. I often don’t quite feel “good enough”. I feel I disappoint Him, like I do my family (and myself), that I am not “my ideal weight”.

    BUT… yet, I AM confident of this… that He who began a good work in me WILL carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus! (Phil. 1:6 exclamation mine)

    I AM SO READY TO DOUBT NO MORE!!!

  11. I grew up with always thinking I was not good enough or that to be blessed of God, I had to be perfect. Also,
    if I was to be meet a great man, I had to be perfect otherwise he would not love me and leave.

  12. Since I am going through divorce, I am having doubts on how I feel that I have failed my loving Father in heaven. It was a violent marriage filled with verbl & mental abuse and constant negative comments about m children from my past mrriage. I really tried to do everything to keep the marriage together but it failed. I was always praying but also found myseld doubting that God would answer me. Never having a loving earthly father has been a big part of my having difficulty accepting that God love me no matter what.

    • I’ll pray for you – you’ve shown great courage in walking by faith and not by sight. God wants more for you and your babies than pain and fear.

    • Jane,
      I am fighting a similar battle right now. I am not in the process of divorce, but I am living with constant negative comments about my children from my past marriage, 2 of which suffer from mental illness. Your words just tug at my heart as I also experience a lot of self doubt. Know that I will be praying for you this morning, specifically that God will fill your heart with His peace and speak to you in such a way that erases your doubts.

      • Im going also going through a similar situation. My husband has a mental illness and is pursuing a divorce. I have fought tooth and nail for my marriage. Begged, pleaded, cried, yelled to help save it but he still says we now have nothing in common and he never loved me just thought it was the right thing to do at the time. Im broken over this. Because i have associated my worth with this relationship instead of who I am in Christ, Ive been a basketcase. I have a hard time seperating the two things: my divorce and then the self esteem issues. It is all running together.
        This study came at the right time for me. I feel Iike God is calling me to tackle these weaknesses and move me forward. Im praying for restoration. Becaue I hope my husband comes back, but Im praying for his salvation also..which is more important to me. My divorce will be final next week, I hope i make it through this. Please pray.

        • Praying for you Kerri! The Lord knows what you are going through. He sees all, and loves you through it. Jesus will not turn His back on you.

  13. Stephanie,

    He is so waiting for you just as you are! It’s in our weaknesses that He is made strong. He loves you like crazy. So much that He sent His son to take your messes (sins) and carry them to the cross for you. He loves like no other and you were made to be in a relationship with Him. He loves you and loves you and loves you …imperfections, messes, doubts, etc. He loves you just like you are.

    He wants you to come to Him just as you are. And you can do that by praying the prayer at the bottom of page 44 in A Confident Heart accepting Jesus as Lord of your life. If you have any questions or need help with the prayer and understanding, please contact Melissa Taylor at the Proverbs 31 office at 1-877-731-4663 and she will talk you through it and pray with you.

    And I will be praying for you.

    Donna

  14. One thing I read but cant believe for me is that “He is there waiting for us in the midst of our imperfect lives, when our pain and failures confirm our self doubts.” What is so good about me that He wants to wait for me. There are far more women out here that need Jesus than I do. doesn’t it waste His time?

    • He would be wasting time on Himself because You were made in His image for Him to love.

      His time is infinite so He will wait for you…you’re thinking w/ a human heart not His heart…I do that too.

      You are one of the women who needs Him…I need Him…we all need Him.

      You are so good as Stephanie…that’s enough.

      So, NO, you are not a waste of time to pursue…and, Yes, He will wait for you…until he end of time.

  15. I have spent most of my life being “fine.” As the oldest sibling, a lot was expected of me, and to this day I fear disappointing those that rely on me. So instead of wanting to be known, I withdraw and hide, myself and my failures. Like Renee says, I have believed in Him for a long time, but I have not completely BELIEVED Him. I feel terrible that my faith constantly fails me, that I cannot take that leap confidently knowing He is there for me. That is what I hope to accomplish, to take full possession of His inheritance for me. He knows everything and loves me anyway, I should not worry about anything else!

  16. I was really blown away by something revealed to me in the questions at the end of the chapter. As I read and prayed through question 6, where you suggest we ask God to speak through Sam’s story, and show us things in our hearts that need repair, nothing happened. I had NO sense of God revealing anything to me, and without a moments hesitation, I felt totally inadequate. Surely most of the women reading this study will receive some revelation. What’s wrong with me that I don’t?
    And then it hit me – that IS my revelation! Without thought, subtlety and insidiously, I knee jerk to the conclusion that I’m inadequate for some reason. How often does it happen and I don’t even realize it? It’s so much a part of who I am that I don’t even notice it. Thanks for being used by God to bring clarity, and hopefully over time, I can renew my mind with truth!

    • I know what you mean. It’s like you get used to being inadequate that it becomes your identity almost. I think we can become addicted to being rescued by God even, and so we will go through a cycle of “falling” so that we can relive the deliverance. I don’t think that this is something that we do knowingly, but I do think that a lot of us do it..and when we don’t receive that “deliverance” then we start to question ourselves and then Him.

    • Wow, I love what you are learning about yourself and how He revealed that default thought process to you. That is HIM showing you the empty place He wants to fill. We are all inadequate in some way or another but He wants to fill in our gaps with His grace and patience and show us how to be nice to ourselves and love ourselves just as we are instead of trying to live up the world’s standards of perfection and performance -even in the church.

      THank you for sharing. Love the honesty of our group!

  17. Chapter 2 got a little more personal for me that the first chapter. When you asked “If you were sitting with Jesus, what would he want to talk to you about?” You pinned me perfectly when you said “Your heart needs to be set free from pretending and perfectionism. Are you longing for others approval?” That’s me. I measure my life, my marriage, my parenting, on what others perceive me as. I pretend a lot and it’s exhausting to me. I KNOW I need to measure my life on God’s standards, but I struggle with that.

    Also the reminder that a “personal relationship with God sets us free to be all we were created to be” I realized after 30 years of being a Christian I really don’t have a relationship with God. I don’t know HOW to have a relationship. I know I’m saved and pray that this will be the beginning of my relationship.

    • This journey will be the beginning of a very sweet, tender and personal relationship with Jesus if you will do just what you are doing. Read, soak in the truths, answer the questions and let Him show you how much He loves you and what you need to grow closer to Him. Praying for you!

    • Perfectionism is my ball & chain. It keeps me from trying because I fear failure so badly. This part of chapter 2 struck me so much I had to write down the word ‘perfectionism’ in my journal as a reminder that it creates doubt and limits my opportunity to really live life fully.

  18. At first I was thinking of other women who I thought would benefit from hearing this, then I started to doubt myself, thinking no, they won’t listen, they’ll reject me call me weird, think I’m stupid or worse. Suddenly, I thought WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK, THIS IS FROM GOD TO ME, I’m the one who wants to change! I’m the one who God sought out specifically WOW! I am the samaritan woman! It’s my turn to talk with Jesus, not all the other people around me with all of their drama…..tears are falling from eyes right now. Thank-you, Lord, thank-you.

    • Oh Reene, let the tears flow. This is your time sweet friend. He wants to be there for you and speak to you through this study. Sometimes it’s hard to let Him b/c we are more comfortable helping others – but this time, let it be your time with Him. 🙂

  19. The video portrayed so well the fact that God can take all the bad feeling of not being loved and accepted away. As we learn by daily walking in the light of His love, we can learn to love others and share Christ’s love for them.
    I am 73 years old and have walked the walk of doubt and not feeling I could ever measure up. But, I can truly say, as I look back, I can see how God loved me, guided me even when I had little knowledge of His desire to be personally involved in every facet of my life. As time goes on, I just try to talk to Him as I think a child would and know He will be with me. He has known me from the minute I was conceived and I look forward to the day when I can live eternally in His presence. In the meantime, I am still learning how much He loves me and every person on the face of this earth. I’ve stopped worrying so much about what others think of me and just strive to daily walk and talk with Him.

  20. What a great lesson…As many have mentioned, I too was raised in a church where God was big and out of reach. Now as an adult, as well as little by little, God is becoming personable and caring in my eyes. This chapter really spells it out: God knows us through and through. It is a difficult concept to realize and I find myself “thinking” too much. The thing is, no one can explain His love and acceptance more than He can. I have much to learn.