Hi friends! I am so excited to start this “Confident Heart” journey with you!
We have almost 8000 women from around the US and the world signed up! I’ve been closing my eyes and picturing us gathering together in small groups (cause I’m a small group kinda girl). Anyhow, it’s so amazing to be here with YOU learning how we can live beyond our doubts by finding our security and confidence in the power of God’s loves and promises!
The first thing I want you to remember is: This is YOUR journey.
You’ll be reading the chapters. You will be asking and listening for God to speak to your heart. You’ll be the one who takes time to highlight sentences, promises and quotes you want to remember.
You’ll be looking for ways to apply and live what you are learning. You’ll be answering reflection questions and interacting with the group.
You’ll be doing the faith-work of not only believing in God, but really believing God.
I’ll be shepherding, leading, praying, encouraging, connecting and pacing us. I’ll be sharing more of my story – and inviting co-leaders who are helping me with the study to share theirs.
I’ll be praying for you, encouraging you, believing in you and challenging you – but you will make the heart investment and be the one who gets out pretty close to as much as you put in.
Here are a few IMPORTANT reminders:
What’s Needed: A copy of the book, a notebook, a Bible, and a ready-for-God- to-do-a-new-thing in you attitude!
When We’ll Meet: Because we’ll meet online, you can check in at your convenience any time of the day and week.
(Day 1) Assignment
Read the Acknowledgements. This will give you a peak into my current personal life and I’ll be asking you to share about yourself later this week too. 🙂
Read Chapter 1.
- If you don’t have your book yet, you can click here to read Chapter 1 .
- Highlight verses and sentences that grab your attention or tug on your heart.
- Write down what you sense God is speaking to your heart in the margins of your book or in a journal/notebook.
- If you’ve already read chapter 1, share your thoughts here. And then take time to look up the verses mentioned in the chapter prayer and answer the questions at the end of the chapter.
Connecting in Community: Click “Share Your Thoughts” below and let’s all answer this question:
What sentences in Chapter 1 resonate with your heart or speak to you in a personal way? How did you relate to my story in this chapter?
Thank you so much for this study. I have the problem of trusting people too much and forgetting to trust God. That coupled with the fact that my income has decreased by 75% in the past 10 years leaves me feeling like I’m not worth being employed with companies. A situation like that makes you feel like a total failure at life. I recently completed a 6 week course to get my Class A CDL along with specialty endorsements. Now I’m out of school and back to driving school bus. I am applying for jobs and getting hit with, “you don’t have enough experience”, “you’re too old” (I’m 53 years old).
I’m looking for this study to bolster my faith in God to guide my life and to make me a shining example of his grace and his love.
Jasmine Im praying for you!!! God reveal to her the direction you want her to go. Jasmine DO NOT believe satan lies, he is of confusion. God is about truth, mediate on his word and he will reveal what he wants for you in His time. Although you have changed your major, think about all you have learned. All we do will be honoring to are GOD when seeking Him. I will be praying for a christian friend for you.
I’m so glad that you have shared this book. I am a college student and ive been struggling with self doubt since ive started college. I cant find my niche and I feel as if im not smart enough or talented enough to do certain majors so I end up changing my major. A lot of the time I feel lonely because I just transferred to a new university and nothing seems to go right. I feel like im always being taken advantage of because im a nice person. Most of the time i feel like an outcast because I’m an introverted person. I’m hoping that I can stop looking for acceptance of others and look for acceptance in Christ. Please pray for me because I want to be successful in life and I fear failure because I feel as if im not good enough.
God – show Jasmine the woman that she is and the talent that she has. Show her the plan you have for her and help her to rely on you to fulfill it!
The thing that hit me the most was in the prayer… “and I am no longer one who shrinks back and is destroyed, but one who believes and is saved!” Ever since an incident in elementary school, I have always felt I need to get out of the way (shrink back) and at times haven’t opened my mouth or done things that I should have. I feel like even now I’m trying really hard and don’t know how to get my relationship with God back to where it has been but then I read… “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” God works… not I work. Praying that this block I feel I have on my heart is lifted.
I will at times let fear take over and not try something new because I don’t think I can do it. And I really do want to do it. If I don’t do it, I get mad at myself later for not even trying. And when I do take a challenge, I say see you can do this, no big deal. I need to learn to fight back the fear and doubt that stand in my way. I so look forward to sharing in this group and learning to trust God to give me more confidence in living the life he gave me. 🙂
I too was hit by the sentence on page 21. “Perhaps you have prayed since you were a little girl to be a mother, and here you are with kids, doubting you have what it takes to be a good mom.” I’m almost 7 months pregnant with our first child, my husband and I had prayed for this time since we got married 3 years ago, and I’ve always said being a mother is what is my ultimate calling. But now, here I am scared out of my mind thinking maybe God made a mistake by giving me children, maybe I’m not called to be a mother and how will I teach them to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind and strength when I struggle with that on a daily basis.
I’ve always struggled with self confidence and the woman God made me, although many would say I hide it well. For the past 20 years I’ve struggled with stuttering and although God has blessed me with every support system imaginable, I still feel I am too flawed to be the woman God wants me to be. I graduated from a good college, married a loving man, and serve in a church where I feel called, but I still feel like I am failing because of the things I didn’t do. And now that I am almost a mother, I feel I will fail at this too. Haunted by questions like, how will I read the bible to my children, how will I discipline them, what will their friends think of me, will they be teased because their mom stutters and so many others. I know God’s promises and trust in His plans, but I feel like I’m being held back unable to believe them.
I’ve had this book in my nightstand almost a year and now this is God’s answer to my fears, I pray I can dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in Him, to have a confident heart. (page 24) Thank you Renee for having the confidence to share your journey, you are a blessing to everyone here!
Madison – God made and loves you just the way you are! You are a beautiful creation! You are going to be a Great Mommy! You prayed for this child and God has answered your prayers! He will guide you – just listen for his voice! I will pray for you!
Resonated: I highlighted about praying God’s word and about choosing to dwell in the assurance of whose I am.
No big stories of confidence robbing or throwing away, but tons of little ones!
As I (re)read this chapter I was freed from the discouragement for a time, and two insights for my dual god-sized dream (see Holley Gerth) and my word for the year (dependently) bubbled up. The first was about the organization of a book project I’ve had in mind for maybe 20 years, the second was about our church plant that started in January and I shared that idea immediately with my husband.
I’ve been a self-rejecting writer who hasn’t trusted enough to be fully generous with the joy God gives her.
I resonate with your truths and am loving the assignments/deadlines organization you’re providing. I started your book last fall when I flew across the country two weeks in a row: to be at the bedside and the funeral of a dying friend who asked me to give a eulogy and told me, “You can do it, Beth, you’re a pretty good writer, just write from your heart.” Perhaps the first chapter cut through the dark clouds preparing me to hear her words of true life giving compliment and act on them. Now I’m ready to work through the whole book with your help of assignments and time of discussion.
Thanking God!
“You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light”
“…how quickly they (the depressing thoughts) weasel their way into our minds and disguise their voices to sound like ours. Sometimes we agree with them and they become our own.”
I didn’t used to realize that I had turned away from the light and so when these obtrusive thoughts began to consume me and I struggled with panic attacks, I began to question whether or not God loved me; after all, the voice would say, if I were really God’s child, would I be feeling this way? Since then, I have WRESTLED with this…and I have been bloodied in battle, gently mended back up and comforted by the Lord…only to wander right back out onto that battlefield…etc…. it has oftentimes felt like something that I have been unable to control. The sneaky thing that the enemy does, is disguise his voice to sound like our own…and then make us question ourselves in light of who he is. Of course his voice is condemning and blasphemous…he is God’s enemy. If he can get us to believe that his voice is our own…it can get ugly. What I long for, is a day where I can see everything through the filter of who HE is and who I am because I am HIS. My heart needs to catch up to what I know…and some beautiful days it does…oh how it does, and these are the days that keep my hope alive for the dark nights!
This is extreme, I know 🙁 It all started out as insecurity though, so going back to the root and pulling it out seems the right way to go.
I am going to school for Christian counseling, so I understand that God allows this battle to continue with the expectancy of beauty from these ashes in order to equip me for what I will inevitably come across when this ministry begins. I have questioned my calling more than once thinking how on earth will I ever be able to help struggling Christians with the amount of baggage that I myself am carrying? When the clarity returns though, I know that this is precisely the REASON He called me into this ministry:
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
P.S.- I no longer struggle with panic attacks the way I did initially. It’s as if the more intense the struggle becomes, i become more and more capable of functioning in spite of it…like learning to live without a limb maybe, if that makes any sense. I only add that in, because if someone reading this struggles with panic attacks..which make life seem pretty hopeless at times, I don’t want you to believe the lie that they won’t ever go away. They used to control my entire life. I couldn’t even leave the house for a very long time.
I am really struggling in wondering whether or not this study can make a difference in my life, as I feel I am beyond help. I know the enemy is going to attack me and try to make me give up before I’ve begun, so I hope someone will be praying for me to not give up.
At this point, I don’t even have the confidence to speak as I don’t think anything I would have to say is of any worth to anyone. I’ve read what you all have said here so far, and I have nothing of any worth to share.
I have been this way pretty much my entire life, and I am 60 years old. But I am going to try to hold on to the promises of God and claim them for myself.
Thank you Renee, for sharing and for being obedient to the call of God.
Your thoughts, opinions and words are worth sharing! You may never know what impact you will make if you don’t share! I can say this because I have felt the same way. I keep my mouth shut because – who would want to hear what I have to say? At times I would tell my husband what I had thought about saying and he says – “you should have shared! You always have good things to say!” Satan is attacking you and you are worth so much. You said you are 60… well I turn 30 in a couple months and I know that you have life wisdom and God wisdom that only you could share to help someone like me. God loves you so!
First thing is not speaking words of condemnation on yourself. There is life and death in the power of the tongue so don’t even speak defeat. It’s time to show the enemy that he no longer has control over your mind and that you are going to be victorious this time. Just because something has always been a certain way does not mean that it has to stay that way. Every battle begins in the mind. I will be praying for the Lord to keep you and I pray that you will allow this online study and book to minister to your situation. You are not apart of this by chance. The Lord is trying to pull you out of this downward spiral you are in and wants to see you be the confident woman he knows that you can be.
Cheryl, as I read through the responses here I have been trying to decide whether or not to post anything because I wonder what difference it will make. But after reading your post I decided that whatever we have to say is worth something. If God thinks we are worthy, then we must be, right? So let’s make a promise that we will both post something anytime we are moved to do so. Deal?!
Bless you Cheryl. You so do have things to say that are worth hearing, and I pray that God will show you that through this study. You are not alone in feeling the way you do – we’re all in this together! Bless you for sharing so honestly and I know that God will honour that and longs to show you just how precious you are to him. Don’t give up – keep going!
Good Morning, first may I say, tho I know there will many different reasons for each of us to be here, I so truly hope and pray that these amazing ladies continue to help each of us
I am 60, a widow near 2 years a Mother of 2 bright and simply wonderful daughters and blessed with five blood grand children and one grand daughter by choice who is allowing me to became a great grandma for the first time very soon…I am blessed and continue to receive blessings every day…I am loved by God… but some how I am now falling apart…I feel less than worthy , useless and un wanted…not by my daughters nor even grands but I simply feel inadequate in aspect of life… most days… my 18 month old grand daughter named FAITH is my heartbeat… I want to watch her grow and share her JOY …but even in that I am just not the woman I used to be …
Please pray I can find my way back to not only God but my place in HIS will
I want to be better… as a Mother, and grandma, a friend~ I am really lacking there ~ a sister to 2 amazing brothers that preach Gods word, and as a servant to GOD…
see NO ONE is sheltered, we all can fall or get lost
So excited to be part of this bible study. Outwardly appear very confident, but inside am driven by fear and worry. Continue to meditate on Christ’s words to strengthen me. Husband has left my son and I, and I have put off going to an attorney because of fears, doubts, and lack of confidence. Hoping to get the strength to overcome this divorce hurdle and move forward.
I am prayin for you!! Have been down the divorce path, but without Christ. I am praying and glad you are on this journey!!
‘These are the voices of insecurity that cast shadows of doubt over our perspective and keep us from becoming the women we want to be—the women God created us to be. Self-doubt blocks the promise of God’s power and truth to change us from the inside out so that we can live with a confident heart.’ These words so describe me – I want to be the woman God created me to be, but I can’t. That’s what rings in my head. He has not left me, but I have stepped away. To lazy to put Him first, to tired to do what I need to do to get right with God. He loves me, but I allow such negative thoughts to tear me away from the relationship I want and need.
I am ready, ready to start the challenge to have the confident heart I need to continue my relationship with God. To build on it to discover his will and purpose in my life. Thank you Renee!
I started this study with a prayer for God to show me doubt in my life, some I knew about. But then as I was reading through the first chapter I realized a huge doubt that I have been living in the shadow of….a doubt many women have…I doubt that I am not loveable. I have been searching for years trying to understand why I have a deep desire to get married and have a family that will glorify God and show the world that a Godly marriage and kids is possible. But yet it never happened for me. This revelation hit me like a slap in the face. Me not loveable? I work so hard to get along with people and to be their friend and to support and encourage those in my life. How could I not be loveable? But then it hit me….I do the actions and people do like me but I’m not confident in my qualities to truly think I am loveable. It may be as a result of rejection I experienced as a kid or the rejection I have experience in my adult life not being able to connect with others, loosing friends and being rejected after 1st dates before they had a chance to really get to know me….obviously I am not loveable like others. Although it’s a painful to begin to understand this about myself, I am thankful that God spoke to me with this so I can begin to work to find confidence that I am loveable and one day, someone other than my family will love me and I can recognize it.
Beautiful Rachel, someone other than your family already loves you, He has loved you since before your were twinkle in His eye! I have struggled for years with not feeling deserving of His love but spending time in prayer and with other Christian women who love me has helped alot! I will send up a prayer right now in your honor, asking for God to touch you in a loving way that you will know it is He and your are loved. Blessings.
I have always lived with doubt and insecurity- the earliest memories I have of struggling with this were in grade school. Never feeling good enough. Never being a part of the “in” crowd and never really feeling like I would amount to anything. I struggle to understand where these feelings came from since I grew up in a lovely Christian home and was never made to feel worthless or useless. I was loved. These feelings of insecurity continued into high school and college. Never felt I was good enough for any man. Never thought I had the smarts to have a good paying career…etc. My life was filled with anxiety and fear. I am hoping as I go through the pages of Renee’s book….I will learn to put my security and faith in WHO I AM in CHRIST. I am sure this will be a hard- emotional – journey for me…but one I must face.
Renee,
I want to reiterate the “Thank You”. As you can tell from the others that have responded, there is such a need for this type of encouragement and help. In most, if not all, cases the world is so hard to live in on a daily basis that those of us who follow God’s word get beat down worse than those that do not. It’s like a mob mentality! And for those of us having a day (all of us at one time or another) of self-doubt, this beat down can be quite difficult to try and recover.
Thank you for being the women that you are and following God’s calling to step out and encourage and help those in need.
I also want to thank all the moms sharing your insecurities as a mom and wife. I feel this is the greatest calling on my life, but it is the area I feel the most like a failure. I never feel like a good mom. I also feel that as a stay at home mom, makes me feel less than others. And when I thought about homeschooling, well the crazy just went off in me….panic attack time. I don’t yet know if I’m capable of homeschooling, but that brings on more feelings of being a failure. Like if I’m not strong enough, smart enough, sane enough to homeschool, then here I am, failing again. God, please help me.
Page 20 It was getting old….repeated history…UGH! So tired of all the doubt I’ve had in my life. and page 23 good at hiding my doubts…I’m so ready to wear that permanent mask of Confidence. Praise God for Renee’s teachings and allowing me to go on this journey and thank you Morgan for directing me to it.
“Doubt and Hope can not live in our hearts at the same time” So many areas God has worked on and given me hope in my life and yet there seems to be many areas left that have such a cloud of doubt over them. As God has convinced me over the last few years that I am valuable and loved by Him and has began giving me vision for life and ministry the doubt or unconfidence of being capable of living out what Hes put on my heart has crept right in. The title of the book grabbed my attention and Im very excited for the Journey.
I have read all of the responses and I know that the Lord makes all things possible and he who believes will have all things delivered to him. Self doubt is the enemies weapon against all of us, but our God is for us and he is going to equip and empower us to conquer our Goliath. He sees he knows. He cares. And he has come to set us free. We’ll be doing the faith work of not only believing in God, but really believing God. God created the longing space in al of us. He (God)is the only one that can fill the empty space in our lives. The prayers you have put in the book I have read and reread them over and over . Being the middle child I never felt love. On my mothers death bed she told me I was her favorite daughter . My sister died at 17 yrs of age . Three yrs ago I lost my husband after he was in the hospital for 6 months. Being a nurse I knew he would be a vegetable which was not what he wanted by any means. I requested to the nurses that they take him off life support and let him die with dignity.
Having nursed for 38 yrs + and I have gone through the ups and downs of life. I have lost all my family and my aunts and uncles and have seen all the things that can happen to a person. I have had back surgery and have been reborn and have the ability to help people who have a need or have a prayer request. I have nursed in every field of nursing and have been able to tune in to the Lord and help others by praying for them and helping them. I can tell if a person has a need before they even speak to me and I can tell while talking on the phone that a person has a need before they even tell me. I pray and meditate every day and let the Lord in to help me. I know he is there and he will come to me when I have a need and will stop me when a person has a need as well. I have faith in the Lord and know he will come to all of us. I pray that things will be as he wills them to be and to help me as I journey down his path. We all must have faith and believe and we will rise above. As my mother said live every day as if it were the last. One never knows if they will wake up tomorrow.
Praise the Lord and he will come to all of you and help you.
I still have times of insecurity but I am rising above them and learning to deal with the feelings of insecurity and hopelessness.
We have to be still and let God in. He will come to us as we journey down the path to his kingdom.
Renee,
The part that spoke to me the most from Ch. 1 was
“As God’s girls, we need to know and believe that change is possible. We need to hope that life can be different . Otherwise, doubt will win every time and our hearts will be eroded by attitudes and emotions of defeat–but it is not supposed to be this way.” (p. 23)
I was so happy to see you were leading a study on your book. I did the online study of A Confident Heart with Melissa Taylor a couple of years ago and it made a huge impact on my life, spurring me on to continue growing in the Lord. Unfortunately, after drifting backwards over the past several months, I find myself once again “stuck” – immobilized by doubt and fear.
This study could not have come at a better time for me!
Many things stood out to me in chapter one. But on pg 22, “You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back towards the light”, was one of the more significant sentences to me. I have struggled all my life with feeling like a failure and feeling that I am not good at anything. These worthless feelings have paralyzed me from living life. I too have “avoided some great opportunities because they brought the risk of rejection”, but now I am a mother. Having a family, being a wife and mother is a dream come true. Not just being a wife and mother, but being married to my husband in particular is something I never thought would happen. I never felt worthy enough to be in a healthy loving faithful relationship. And now that I have two wonderful children, a girl and a boy, I want better for them. I don’t want to give them insecurity, worthlessness, lack of confidence. But I struggle to break the cycle because I don’t have confidence. I’ve tried for so long to do it in my own strength, so when I read those words on pg 22, a light went off. I cannot do this, I cannot fix myself, I must surrender to the One who can. I realize I will fail sometimes, I will succeed sometimes, but my confidence must be in and remain in Christ, not myself. He will provide the confidence, He will guide me in my steps as a mother, He will comfort me when I fail. I don’t have to do it myself, and I don’t have to drive my family crazy with my neediness, because they can’t fill that empty worthless hole in my heart. Only God can fill it. I am really looking forward to this bible study and sharing with all of you struggling in similar ways. I am looking forward to claiming victory over this stronghold in my life. At the end of this study, I pray we can all shout that God has done a new thing in us!
I graduated a year ago with a degree in Christian Ministry and Leadership, and had a baby a few months later. The part that hit home the most was when you talk about not having what it takes to be a good Mom. I question this EVERY DAY. I know I have what it takes, but my doubt just gets the best of me. The next part that hit the most was when you said, “Or maybe you’ve sensed God calling you to serve Him in a way that requires steps of faith, but insecurity has convinced you that you’re not smart enough or gifted enough.” (21)
I have always wanted to start a Christian non-profit that benefits families with children that have autism. I know it will take a lot of work and a lot of money (to get it started). However, I also know that if this is what my calling is, God will help me through it and will allow the doubts to be pushed aside as I see the final product.
I am beyond excited to do this study. My Mom and I are doing it together and I am so excited. I have the worst self esteem and have little confidence when it comes to life, so this is PERFECT!!! 🙂
I hear you about the doubts of being a new mom. My girl is 11 months and we became pregnant with her basically a week after we were married. Learning how to be a wife and a mom at the same time leaves room for lots of doubts!
I have struggled with confidence my entire life. At a young age, I was told by my mother that I was not pretty enough, smart enough, loved enough or just simply enough to have the things I want in life. I wasn’t pretty enough or graceful enough to be a ballerina. I wasn’t pretty enough to get married. I wasn’t smart enough to get into college or have the job I wanted. Then when I got married, I wasn’t good enough to keep my husband and he wouldn’t be faithful because I’m not pretty enough. Then I became a mother and somehow, that was the only place in my life that I had confidence, but when I became pregnant with my second child, my mother asked me if I would love my oldest child as much as the new child. Would I remember the oldest child was there? Would I love them equally? This was new territory for me so I began to doubt that I would love them equally. Then once my second son was born, my mother asked if I was feeding him enough. Am I spending enough time with my oldest? Am I keeping up on my house work? Then the Lord lead me to Homeschooling, and then I was asked why…. Then told I wasn’t smart enough to teach my children. I honestly do not know how I continued my faith in God or how I managed to continue to do what I felt God was telling me was right, but I have and I continue. Now my husband is unemployed and has been looking for work for the last 6 months. I found work at church working daycare for Mops bible study mom’s and I am able to still homeschool my 3 boys (7, 5, and 2 years old) and I can have my children with me when I work. But I doubted my ability to do this church job and I feared going and there are days when I still fear going. But I keep going and trying to grow in my confidence in Christ so that my boys don’t know the self doubt and worldly doubt and all other doubt I struggle with in being a woman, wife and mother. I’m thankful the Lord has lead me to this study so that I may be able to walk my talk and show my boys what true confidence in Christ looks like and pass it on to them in the way is was not passed on to me.
“”What’s wrong with me? doubt was something I had dealt with more times than I wanted to recount…………I doubted I was worth keeping……………. doubt robbed me of joy…………..I questioned whether I was good enough…………I doubted my husbands faithfulness………..doubting you have what it takes to be a good Mom………the unknown is too scary”” IT’S NOT SUPPOSE TO BE THIS WAY!!!”……….just a few of the sentences I have underlined in the first two pages. Doubt, fear, uncertainty were always a part of my life. I have signed up to do this study now for the 3rd time. I will admit that I have come a long way since the first time……..with help from my Jesus…….but still need to continue on the journey to knowing fully who I am in Christ. I have already answered the questions for part one…………here is what I wrote for question one a year ago.
When I was 5, my oldest sister got married. She is almost 14 years older than me. She had been like a mother to me and I can still feel the loss I felt then. My bond had been with her, not my mother. My Mom had no understanding of the abandonment I felt and didn’t react well when tears of doubt (that my parents loved me) and fear came. Her words of “If you don’t stop that I will give you something to cry about” still echo in my ears………53 years later. Thank God, my sister is still with me and we have a good relationship.
Brenda your Words resinate with me. I have the same feelings. Felt I was worthless when I got sick and lost my job. Son gone living on own, doubting husband loved me. Fear everyone would leave me like my brother and father. Need to say yes to everyone because I’m afraid they will not be my friend any longer. My sister is also who my strongest bond is with. She was always there for me when my Mom wasn’t. Need to learn to lean on God and not myself. Thanks for sharing.
I believe what caught my attention the most was the statement that I have always believed to be true…If this is God’s calling on my life, wouldn’t I feel like this is where I belong?” All my life I haven’t felt like I belong anywhere. I have always felt I was a burden or a bother to people. All I ever wanted was to be a mom and even though I accomplished that, daily I criticize myself for the mistakes I have made and feel like that is the reason God didn’t allow me to have more children. I criticized my husband constantly for his parenting skills, especially now that I see my children being so much like him. But realization came last night in a family blow out, it was my defending them which in turn caused us to argue that has made my children feel like they are at fault for us not getting along. Talk about an eye opener.
I used to see myself as such a positive person, people even told me they didn’t know how I did it, but now I see I should’ve been more like that in my own home. I tried, but always felt it was a losing battle because of so much negativity from my husband. I always felt that leading by example would change him and then when it didn’t I would get angry with him and frustrated with myself. I get angry at myself for my mistakes and then doubt everything I’ve ever done. I need this Bible study! Even though all but one of my children are over 18 maybe I can still make a difference…
You know something that I learned over the years is that in order for someone to change we have to change first. When I was first told that I was like “y do I have to change 1st, y can’t he/she change first?” “y do I have to watch what I say or do but he/she doesnt have to watch what they say or do?” God has shown me that I needed alot of changing w/in myself (still working on me) before I could even expect the person I was wanting to change to change. I am here to tell you it works, its hard, but it works and then of course everything begins to work according to HIS plan and not my plan…..that is why we have to change 1st before who we want to change, can change.
I am starting this study today with so much hope in my heart. I have struggled with anxiety and panic attacks and I’ve approached this problem from many angles. This includes but is not limited to medication, yoga, nutrition, therapy, etc, etc. However, while all of these avenues are important… they are not the ONE answer. My fear stems from a lack of trust in my life and how I am leading it. I am hoping that this study will teach me that i am NOT IN CONTROL and that it’s OKAY and preferable to not be in control. My life in God’s hands is endlessly more fulfilling than my life in my own hands. I look forward to this journey and I pray that God will open my heart and help me stay committed to hearing the truth that I KNOW he wants to share with me through Renee’s book. I look so forward to doing this with all of you beautiful women!
Jessica, I am praying for you!
Lord, help Jessica to know that she is Yours! That she is a daughter of the Lord! Lord help Jessica to know that she has all the confidence she needs – Your perfect confidence. Lord I pray that you allow her to see that.
Lord help these women that have become vulnerable and opened their hearts to others through this Bible study. Lord send a hedge of protection around all of us while we go through this study. We love you Lord and we give you the glory that this study will bring forth!! I pray this in the name of Jesus!
Renee, thank you so much for doing this study.
Self Doubt has been instilled in me since early on. It has now reared its ugly head again. Self esteem issues started when I was young because of family issues. Those family issues are still there and renewing themselves daily. When I read Jeremiah 17:7, the first thing that I heard in my head was “wait, I have confidence in you, and I am all you need” the Lord reminds us that we must trust in Him. He has many blessings for us. He has confidence in us. That is enough. I have been freshly reminded again today! I am so looking forward to this study and what everyone has to share! Thank you again Renee and all of those who are participating!!
Even though my family has left me – does not mean that my Lord and Savior has. He is here! He is my Hope! He made me in His image. Sefl esteem issues are from Satan. Period.
Now if I could just remind myself of this everyday – We are getting somewhere! 😉
Teresa, that is where I am at also… that I KNOW that my lack of confidence is from Satan and I can say it all I want but I need to learn to really believe it and most importantly to live it. Looking forward to changing and growing with you!
my whole life fear has keep me from doing things. I have been going through a hard time for the last 4 months health issues and not knowing what . No definate results have another appointment . My prayers is that through this study I will fear not for the LORD is with me ! I have been a Christian for 30 years i have walk close and then not so close !please pray that I will make it through this study and that my life would be totaly surrender to the LORD
I feel ya, Glenda. Fear is my number one inhibitor in my life. If I can cast out those fears and really believe that God will take care of me and, in fact, has been taking care of me in all of my 25 years then I will be so fulfilled.
Hello Renee – I was happy to see that you are doing the online-study again. I tried participating last year but it didn’t workout so well. But, I’m back to try again. I read chapter one and it is very enlightening. It made me think back to a little girl and how I’ve always felt insecure, shy and . . . unimportant. Today, I”m not as insecure, know that I’m important, but still have insecurities in a lot of areas. I look forward to this on-line study and to read everyone comments. I know that we all can be a support system for each other. Have a very blessed day.
Good Morning! I struggle so bad w/self doubt and having very low self confidence. Im not too sure where in my life I began to struggle w/it but I am going to believe that through this study God will begin, if he hasn’t already, to show me when it began to show its ugly face in my life. I struggle w/depression and OCD, as well. There are a couple things that stuck out to me in Chapter 1: 1. Self -doubt blocks the promise of God’s power and truth to change us from the inside out so that we can live w/a confident heart…..that is so true. Self-doubt can block the promises so bad to the point where the only voice (s) I hear are no longer His voice and I cant stand it. I know God is w/me and by my side but it is so hard at times when the self-doubt voices are louder than His voice. 2. Doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time, we need to know and believe that change is possible…..I know change is possible but sometimes it is so hard to see the change when all you can see is what is in front of you. I try to so hard not to see what’s in front of me, I ask God to open my eyes and let me see things through his eyes and not mine. If I see things through my eyes I will never see the change. I am so down for change and I’m ready for it, just need that confidence in my heart to get me there. I know its there but I have to find it. 3. When I choose to dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in Him, I have a confident heart…..one thing that I have been doing is posting prayers or scriptures on my mirror in my bathroom. By doing this it helps me to choose to dwell in Him and his assurance. I’m not going to act like its easy because trust me I have days where its super hard but with it in my face it makes it a little easier. I am so ready for this to begin in my life because I am soooo tired of being in this place. I have husband of 16 years and we have 4 beautiful children. I know they can see and sense when I am down and out or in that dark place and its not fair to them. I have got to come out of this place I am in, feeling worthless, not good enuf, not trusting people, etc. I have so much to live for, not just my kids and husband but what God has called me to do while I down here on this earth still. I know he has a purpose for me but I feel like I cant fulfll the purpose till I get the confidence in my built up, not my confidence but His confidence. So ladies, I am here because I need the help and the change and I ask that you prayer for me to reach that Godly confidence, that Godly boldness and get rid of this self-doubt, depression, voices (ungodly voices), etc, as I will do the same for you ladies as well. We CAN do this, regardless of what the voices in our heads try to tell us. We are MORE THAN CONQUERORS…………..ROMANS 8:28-31.
I am excited to finally read this book! I have been wanting to for such along time but never did and things kept popping up about this book all the time!! Soo I thought ok God I get it – I’m suppose to read this book! Thank you for this study and I’m soo looking forward to reading with you all … Enjoy 🙂
Oh I forgot the other thing, in my excitement with the neuroscience connection I mentioned above!
The other thing that stood out to me is “Don’t listen to these thoughts, my friend” (p. 23)
This may be because I teach Listening Behavior, a Communication course, at a local university and we talk about this… but one thing I have a hard time with is I don’t often consciously think these thoughts. It’s more like a feeling I have that is sending me a message, emotionally, that equates to all the ones you mentioned on that same page. And I’m in trouble before I even realize it. I’ve been working lately on actively choosing truth, etc. and saying it out loud (prior to this study) and it’s gotten me out of some messy situations, that my insecurities could’ve wreaked havoc in. It was HARD work though to do this.
Sarah,
Thanks for sharing your victories with us. I know that the most transforming growth I have experienced has come through praying aloud and reciting scriptures aloud, especially in the difficult situations. I have gotten away from doing that the past few months, though. I am ready to get back to that place of actively allowing God’s Word to change me!
Thank you for that reminder about the power of praying and reciting scriptures aloud. I find that hearing the word repeatedly from my own mouth, is most profound.
Ok dont know if my comment through or not so posting again always struggled with self doubt growing up and through my marriage, I thank God for this book while i was posting a scripture came to my head
Gal 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
What stood out to me is the importance of saying scripture out loud. I read a neuroscience article once several years ago about the brain circuitry involved in addictions (stick w/me, I promise it’s relevant) and the importance of re-wiring your brain and one way you do that is by repeating something out loud — key, even if you don’t believe it (ex: I am not a smoker, I don’t need a cigarette, etc.).
But the reaction in our brains (when we’re addicted) when that thing is taken away from us, is “I’m going to die without xxx” so it sends that message out to our body and we NEED whatever we are trying to quit.
The author said one way of overcoming that, is to deal with it by telling ourselves out loud the truth, until it works.
I think the same thing applies absolutely, here. It is important not only to believe God obviously, but he also made our brains to work a certain way and when we get addicted to something, or to a pattern of thinking… it is extremely hard to “just believe” and “have faith” -so I loved that you pointed out we need to say it out loud Renee.
I truly agree w/that Sarah 🙂 that is why I post scriptures/prayers on my mirror so while Im getting ready for work in the morning I say them out loud. It helps for us to believe what we are saying. Its hard at first but it works and the times that you really dont feel like doing it, is when you should really being saying it out loud.
I have wanted to do research on this very thing because I have seen such a BIG difference in my life when I say God’s promises outloud, or pray them out loud in first person. 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing that. LOVE IT!!
I do believe in him, but I find myself admitting I never did believe Him. Especially concerning my life. Towards others, I always recognized He is great. In my own life, He seemed far away. This journey will teach me to believe Him, concerning my life and the path He traced for me. I finally understand how to pray effectively, by praying His words, not my own. Because my words display my will, not His. When I am filled with His word, it will be easier for me to stay in the light, in His will and in the path He wants me to go.
Amen!!!
What popped out at me most was, You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. I myself have let my insecurities and doubt get me so far away from the light that i have lost sight of my purpose that God made me for. So much darkness has clouded my vision that i am stuck and lost in a huge never ending storm of anger and pain. I am here now to become confident in God again and opening my hard heart to allow myself to trust his unfailing plan for my life.
I am so happy to find your book and this study to do with so many other women! I have felt for so many years that I was the only one who felt so insecure and afraid of disappointing others. I am tired of feeling like no one truly loves me. I am tired of bending over backwards trying to do everything perfect for people so that they may want to include me in their little group. When I expressed this thought and this study to my mother-in-law she acted shocked that I would feel this way! She said she had never felt like this because she knew that God loved her since He made her the way she is; maybe she was just stronger in her beliefs than I was then. I went away mad and hurt! I cried over that dig but wasn’t surprised by it. They happen regularly from her. When I tried to explain that there were lots of women that feel this way she couldn’t believe it, stating that she had never heard anyone say such a thing. It seems as though I am surrounded by “strong” women that don’t understand my tender, broken heart. I am so looking forward to this study with everyone and growing in my LORD and Savior!! I know He loves me! Now to grow a confident heart for Him!
I can say that you’re not alone in feeling insecure. I’ve definitely done my fair share of “bending over backwards” just so I can be in some elite little group. I’ve come to realize that if God really wanted me to be in those groups, He would have provided. Perhaps your mother-in-law is not struggling with insecurities because God has provided her with abundant confidence. However, I do believe she could have shown a little more compassion towards you. Men and women struggle tremendously with doubt and insecurity every day. We get good at hiding them from other people, but we can’t hide from God. So no, you’re definitely not alone and God has amazing blessings for you!
I too have walked around, like Lysa, holding my little heart shaped cup out asking someone or something to fill it…always to find it empty. I didn’t know anyone else did this! Page 23, I know what it’s like to feel paralyzed by doubt! I am ready for a change!! Thank you, Renee, for your book. Thank God for you!
I have been living in doubt my entire life, never believing I was good enough in any area of life. I have spent thousands of dollars getting degrees in the hopes that would make me worthy. I have always felt overlooked in the workplace and everywhere else. My instincts tell me to run when things don’t go my way, and so I do. This along with other unhealthy coping skills has kept me “stuck.”
I have been walking with the Lord since 2005 and recently, while feeling less than once again in my work life, He showed me that running away isn’t the answer, running to Him is………I believe this study was placed in my path to overcome this place I have lived in my whole life. I am excited to experience what I know will unfold as I embark on this journey with all of you wonderful women.
I’m a runner too!! I know what you mean about being stuck…I’m there with ya! Ready for a change and excited about our new journey!!
Me too, girl! But we can do this so we dont have to run anymore 🙂
What you said resonates with me! I find some confidence in having the schooling I have, but a lot of what I’ve done and accomplished as an adult is to constantly prove something to myself.. which hasn’t been proved.
Murphygirl, your post speaks so directly to my heart. I’m in college right now…I’m a senior and will be graduating in December. One of the greatest sources of anxiety and fear in my life has been a career choice. Choosing a degree and planning what I want to do for a job has been a rough journey…I’ve been through feelings of worthlessness, depression, and hopelessness. I definitely felt that my value rested on my grades and the degree I get and the job I find when I’m done…
I’m now more settled in some choices…after going on a mission trip and working as a counselor at camp last summer, my trust in Jesus has grown SO much! However…feelings and thoughts of doubt still creep in. I still don’t know what God’s plan is for me..where I should work. What graduate school I should go to. I still feel like I have to look out for myself. Clearly, I need to trust Him more. He is SO able and worthy. Why do we doubt Him? I don’t want to run to anything else for comfort and security. Only Him, knowing that He will lead me to the place He wants to use me. I am glad to know I am not alone in these struggles and am hoping that through this study, we will find strength in quiet confidence and trust.
The sentence that stood out to me was ….You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light. I know doubt and trust are my issues right now . In Jan. I found out my husband of 28 years was having an affair. We are now trying to restore our marriage but their is a lot of doubt and trust issues. I am going to turn back to the light and trust in Him. I am taking this study so I can have a confident heart and know who I am in the Lord.
1) Heb 10:35-36. Patient and Endurance. Whatever circumstance we need to press on and trust in him and we will be blessed.
2) Pray God’s words out loud.
Thanks for sharing.
First I want to thank you for doing this study. There are so many of us out there that are struggling with our walk with God especially in these difficult times. I really loved the statement that you made where you stated that DOUBT and HOPE cannot live in our hearts at the same time. I know that change is possible, but now I know that if there is dobut in my mind, that I need to STOP before I allow it to go on for so long and know that with God I have hope to succeed in whatever I am doubting. I love Isaiah 49:23. At this time of my life I need direction in which way He wants me to go. Recently I have quit my job to take care of my elderly mom and doubt always creeps in to let me know that maybe I made the wrong decision, especially when I don’t see my mother getting better. I look forward to the rest of the study. I believe that it is no coincidence that this study has come my way. Thank you Renee.
Thank you Renee for this study. My self doubt started as a child, when I was teased by my body image. I have a great life but always felt I could have done so much more, if only I didn’t carry around this backpack of self doubt: I am not pretty enough, smart enough,skinny enough. It wasn’t until I met my husband, that I felt I was worth so much more. Mom told me I was beautiful and can achieve whatever I set my mind to. But I never believed what my mom said because I thought that is what mom’s are suppose to say. Now I find myself saying those same words to my sons because I love them unconditionally and I believe in them the same way God’s love is for me. I have become more confident, but every now and then a weight of self doubt will be put upon me when I feel I not respected by others, or loved by others. That’s when I am leaning more for human acceptance then a more Godly acceptance. You see God knows who I am, my strengths, my weakness and knows when I am about to mess up, but yet he still loves me for you I am. I don’t have to prove myself to him. He loves and respects me for who I am. I am sure he wishes I would learn how love and respect myself. That brought tears to my eyes typing this. Thanks again.
I too have struggled with this since childhood. I am slowly learning that I don’t need the acceptance of this world, but it is still hard in this day and time. Glad to know I am not alone, and neither are you : )
The very first sentence in the foreword made me cry. I went back to my childhood in my mind were I longed for my Dad to pick me up, swing me around and tell me I was special. My Dad was not very loving growing up and this struck me hard when I read it. I always wanted to just hear him say “I love You” and it was just not something he did. I have had abuse in my life as a child and I resented my Mom and Dad but with God’s help forgiving was not as hard as I thought it would be. It is hard to forget the things that happened but I will not let it ruin my life. My Dad got very sick about 8 years ago and I had to help take care of him. I know now God was mending my relationship with him so it would be easier for me later in life. My Dad died 4 years ago from brain caner at the age of 54. If I had not had God in my life I would have never been able to make some lasting memories with my Dad to take the place of the bad ones. I have a reallly hard weekend this weekend, with Easter. I have cried for 3 days. My family was always so close and this is the first year I didn’t see my sisters or my Mom on Easter. Please say a prayer for me to take all this book in and learn what I need to. I know my self-doubt and lack of confidence comes from my past and I am ready to face it head on.
Everyone have a blessed day.
Thank you for sharing so honestly. Your experience is heart breaking, but God is clearly using it for good in your life. You are a very strong child of God, may He continue to grow you and bless you. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
I have read this book before, but felt called to go through this Bible study. I struggle with confidence daily as a mom. Am I really doing a good job? Why do the little things get to me? I am hoping that following this study and reading other women’s stories will show me that I am doing a great job! Thank you so much for this book and for this study.
Renee thanks for sharing what God has placed in your heart with us. I truly believe that as women of God its important to have that confidence and assurance that God has this. Having a confident Heart will help us all serve God in a more powerful way. Jeremiah 17:7 states, But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. Trusting in God we can never go wrong. He is stronger than any of our insecurities. Going through this study we allow me to be a much stronger women against the enemy because of my confidence.
As I had begun this study with some dance moms at my daughters studio, I soon found that I was not alone in my fears of doubt. In a studio where there are pretty moms, skinny moms, stay home moms ect the group that I studied with relized that many of these doubts translated back to their own child hoods (mine too) and that these are doubts that we are passing along to our own children. We are trying to measure ourselves up and our children up to be what God has not made us to be nor how we want to be. We laughed and we cried as we begun our journey in chapter one of your book. We are so excited and pray we can bring in other dance moms to share in our journey of fixing our self doubt and trusting the Lord. Please pray for our group as we also hope to bring in some non believers too.
Satan does not want me to do this study. he keeps distracting me. Pray that I can focus!
Father guide CJ and keep her focused on her pursuit of You and encourage her to put her trust and hope in You. In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen
What resonated the most was the father issue..as much add i loved my dad he was never able to love back. He is gone now but i mid him dearly and i too struggle with doubt and insecurity. Have been reviewing this book in abooka study at my church. Its an amazing book and such a blessing!
I have always struggled with self doubt. As a child, my parents always made me feel as if I was unable to do anything right. To this day, I still have horrible self doubt problems. I have recently become a member of an amazing church and can already see God working in my life. However, I still have MANY issues of my life, from the past, that are always creeping up and making me doubt myself. I am so looking forward to taking the time to participate in this online study. I think the first thing that stood out to me in Chapter 1 was the line that said, “Self-doubt blocks the promise of God’s power and truth to change us from the inside out so that we can live with a confident heart. I do NOT want to block the promises from God. I know that I need to work on this issue to be able to confidentally take the next step in my Christian walk with God. Praise be to God for bringing me to this book and to this study course.
I can relate so well to being told I can’t do anything right from a young age. But it’s encouraging to see God’s many blessings in your life, and yes, He has wonderful promises for you! God can break the cycle of self-criticism and self-doubt, and I pray that you’l continue to walk confidently in freedom!
Denise, I understand exactly what you are saying. I have recently started at a new church and they have helped me to realise that God loves me in spite of me. I have had similar problems with never feeling good enough for my parents and its time that that self doubt was stopped, tamed. I don’t want to block the power of God to change me. I want to say “bring it”!!
What sentences in Chapter 1 resonate with your heart or speak to you in a personal way?
A- In this season of my life I found several sentences that spoke to me personally…
`doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time` (p. 23)
`when I choose to dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in Him, I have a confident heart.`
(p. 24)
`embrace the reality of His measureless grace, unconditional love, and redeeming hope` (p. 24)
`We will find our heart’s confidence in Christ as we learn how to rely on the power of His promises in our everyday lives.` (p. 25)