{week 1} A Confident Heart Online Study (April 2013)

Hi friends! I am so excited to start this “Confident Heart” journey with you!

We have almost 8000 women from around the US and the world signed up! I’ve been closing my eyes and picturing us gathering together in small groups (cause I’m a small group kinda girl). Anyhow, it’s so amazing to be here with YOU learning how we can live beyond our doubts by finding our security and confidence in the power of God’s loves and promises!

The first thing I want you to remember is: This is YOUR journey.

You’ll be reading the chapters. You will be asking and listening for God  to speak to your heart. You’ll be the one who takes time to highlight sentences, promises and quotes you want to remember.

You’ll be looking for ways to apply and live what you are learning. You’ll be answering reflection questions and interacting with the group.

You’ll be doing the faith-work of not only believing in God, but really believing God.

I’ll be shepherding, leading, praying, encouraging, connecting and pacing us. I’ll be sharing more of my story – and inviting co-leaders who are helping me with the study to share theirs.

I’ll be praying for you, encouraging you, believing in you and challenging you – but you will make the heart investment and be the one who gets out pretty close to as much as you put in.

Here are a few IMPORTANT reminders:

What’s Needed: A copy of the book, a notebook, a Bible, and a ready-for-God- to-do-a-new-thing in you attitude!

When We’ll Meet: Because weโ€™ll meet online, you can check in at your convenience any time of the day and week.


(Day 1) Assignment

Read the Acknowledgements. This will give you a peak into my current personal life and I’ll be asking you to share about yourself later this week too. ๐Ÿ™‚

Read Chapter 1.

  • If you don’t have your book yet, you can click here to read Chapter 1 .
  • Highlight verses and sentences that grab your attention or tug on your heart.
  • Write down what you sense God is speaking to your heart in the margins of your book or in a journal/notebook.
  • If you’ve already read chapter 1, share your thoughts here. And then take time to look up the verses mentioned in the chapter prayer and answer the questions at the end of the chapter.

Connecting in Community: Click “Share Your Thoughts” below and let’s all answer this question:

What sentences in Chapter 1 resonate with your heart or speak to you in a personal way? How did you relate to my story in this chapter? 

About Renee

Renee Swope is a Word-lover, story-teller, heart-encourager and grace-needer. She's also a wife, mom, friend, daughter and author of A Confident Heart, a Retailers Choice Award winning book that became a best-seller and has been published in six languages, with over 150,000 copies sold. Renee is speaks around the country at women's events and and serves on the writing team for DaySpringโ€™s inCourage blog. For twenty years, Renee served in leadership at Proverbs 31 Ministries and as former co-host of the ministry's radio program, โ€œEveryday Life with Lysa & Renee.


  1. Immediately, the first few sentences of the Foreword spoke to me because I believe, with utmost sincerity, that God created that longing space in all of us, and I believe He created it with only one person in mind to fill it. HIM. I’m convinced that no matter how much our parents love and nurture us, we have to fill that space with Christ, and Christ alone, and until then, we may look for other sources of confidence to patch our gaping hole, but only God was designed to fit there and only He can provide the God-confidence that belongs there.

    • I myself just was praying that prayer for myself. There is a void inside and only JESUS can fill it. No job, money, personal possessions, not any relationship on this earth can fill the spot in our hearts and spirit that is meant specifically for JESUS. Bless you for sharing. It just at this moment confirmed some things I have been struggling with at this very moment.. I pray God blesses you and all of us on this journey.

      • amen, @pat, i’ll join you in that prayer! Glory to GOD! I believe He will, indeed, reward those who diligently seek Him!

      • I pray God will walk we all of us on this journey also. All prise to God. Amen

      • Tammy Braun says:

        Pat – this is sooo true. i have been trying to fill a whole in my heart since the age of 8. I thought material things would fill it (looking back I now see this action was material possession) but I use to call a bible hotline and say that I didn’t have a bible and I did this every week. i collected bibles and did not even understand them. I find this very odd for an 8-year old but even today, I have at least 20 different study bible. Now, I am trying to fill this whole with buying another cat. We already have four cats and a dog. My husband called me out on it and said, Tammy you are trying to fill a void in your heart and a cat wont fix that. So I decided to get a cockatiel instead. I have not bought the bird and after reading your post, I will not buy anything but I will pray for JESUS to fill this whole and I will pray for everyone hear that any void in their life be filled with JESUS. Thank you Pat!

        • Good for you, Tammy! I have struggled with debt before because of trying to fill my void with material possessions. Letting God fill the void is much more permanent, as HE is always the same and always present, now and forever. (It’s also much easier on the wallet!) ๐Ÿ˜‰

          • Tammy Braun says:

            Thank you Terri, for responding. I am very knew to using a blog, and I am having a very hard time with it. When you sent me this response, it went to my Gmail account and then aloud me to see someone responded to what I said. SO happy I am getting this blog thing now!

    • Donna jena Smith says:

      My Husban had just pass and way and we were in our home in Missouri and after a few weeks I was wanting to back to Florida where we had spent meny winters.My Son said he would Fly back with me and that was great I felt that with him I could get the home open and ready for the winter. On the Flite I felt that God wanted me to start a Bible Study in the Park where I new there were not many belever (So I thought) and did not thing that I could do that so I Put it out of my mine un till I got to the Church on Sunday and I thought I would ask the Paster What He thought if I was hering somthing that God wanter nme to do or was it Me, Well when I got to Church the Paster Came up to me and we talked about my Husban for a while and then he Asked me a question ? Did I think we could get a Bible study started in My Park with His Help and I just started to Laugh and told him what had happen on the trip down and then I knew that it was Gods well, We started with 6 people the next month in my living room and with in a Year we had to move the the parks hall as we had over 20 people and that was 10 years ago and it is still going every Winter for about 12 weeks and now I am trying go get a stuffed Bear minstery started for Kids that need a Hug with all Stuffed toys. I am now 73 year and God is not throught with me yet thats why I am still here with a new Husban of 4 years He is also a Great Gift from God

      • Margie Bos Krebs says:

        Praise God for your obedience and His faithfulness! Love your story! Blessings!

      • Bernadette Burgess says:

        Thank you for sharing your story. It was placed on my heart to forward the Today’s Word from Joel Olsteen ministry. The Today’s Word was forward to me daily by my daughter inlaw. I started forwarding it to some of my coworkers who worked in the same department with me. And through word of mouth I was asked to forward the Today’s Word to many others thru the company. This grew to people outside of the company I worked for. I am now disabled and began doing the same from home. Praise God for his kindness and mercy.

        • I am very grateful I got to have this book divinely inspired by God to me in the very difficult times of my life. Everyday is fear, a little here and then my fear arouses. Even my own imagination make me afraid. God had been good and in His in the book of Timothy For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (II Timothy 1:7 NKJV). Whatever I do God is in control, and I do not have to be perfect for he is already perfect to me.

      • What a wonderful blessing to read your story! Thank you so much for sharing with us Donna!

      • Maureen Chiasson says:

        Great story!

      • Debbie Rakers says:

        This story did touch my heart as well and this study is exactly what I need at this time. I have been feeling unwanted in God’s ministry in my church and I see that it is self doubt. Thank you again for sharing this and thank you Renee Swope for this study!

        • I agree, this is EXACTLY what I need. I have been praying for deliverance from insecurities and self-doubt for awhile now and when I happened upon this I knew it was for me also. I’m stepping out into a new ministry and feeling VERY insecure and questioning over and over “Am I doing Your will Lord or is this just me?” But I know I have struggled with this for years and would be like Renee and put a smile on my face and push on for the Lord. But I want DELIVERED once and for all. I truly want to KNOW HIM, not just IN Him. I want RELATIONSHIP not religion.

      • Amen Your story give me hope as I seek the life God wants me to lead. Thank you for sharing with us.

      • Lesley Edwards says:

        What a beautiful testimony! God bless you x

      • Donna Jean Smith, praise God for your testimony. It’s amazing what God can do when we reply to His voice with obedience. I’m sure we all have heard the voice of God instructing us to something of which we felt that we were not capable of. Even thinking to ourselves that we didn’t have the finance to do whatever it was that God told us to do. I have found and just learned for myself that God will put the plan and purpose out there for us but all He wants us to do is trust in Him that He is able to do anything on our behalf. He never told us to come up with the means nor bring to Him our solution for our situations, he told us to trust and do not doubt. Prov. 3:5-6 says to” trust in the Lord with thine whole heart and lean not to our own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight.” So I stand beside you and my others sisters here, believing in what God will be doing in our lives. Be blessed.

    • Thank you for this Bible study! This is just what I need. I have struggled for years wondering if I am truly saved and on my way to Heaven. I know that I have come to Jesus as a sinner and asked for His forgiveness and that the Bible says that I am saved, but I also have alot of insecurities over other things in my life too. Please pray that God will help me to overcome these doubts and fears through this study and that I will be able to live confidently in Him and serve Him the way He wants me to.

      • Fellow “Laura”, I am all too familiar with that struggle and will be in prayer for you and that you would be overwhelmingly aware of His great love for you and be filled with assurance and security in Him.

      • I too seem to have those doubts even though I was saved and baptized when I was 16. But sometimes I doubt it because I don’t have the deep spiritual feeling or feel as closed to God as others seem to. I’m trying to work on that but sometimes it’s hard.

        • I feel the same way, Stacey. I pray this study will guide us towards a more passionate relationship with our Father.

        • Hi Stacey~

          Your story sounds just like mine. I too have doubts because i don’t have the spiritual feelings or feel as close to God as others do. I try but sometimes I get so frustrated with myself. It comes so easily to my mom and sister.

          • Michele says:

            I struggle with the same insecurities, wondering why I don’t have a heart “on fire” for God and feeling ashamed that my heart can tend to be “Luke warm.” The lsentence in the first chapter that stuck out for me in the first chapter was ” Take me beyond believing IN you to TRULY believing you!” I am glad that I chose to be a part of this bible study, Thanks Renee!

          • Laura, Stacey, and Julie,
            I can relate to your posts. I have often doubted in the last few years if I too were saved and on my way to Heaven. I know that I was saved and baptized at the age of 10. I know it was true because I have never experienced a feeling like that before or since. I felt so light and like all burdens were removed from me. As I grew, I have stumbled and made several mistakes along the way. In the last few years I feel I have become complacent and lazy in my faith. I too feel insecure when I look at others who have such an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. I desire to have a relationship with him like that. I want to have a heart on fire for God. I think I am the only thing stopping me. I struggle on how to get past this. I will be praying for each of you as we go through this study and I desire your prayers as well.

        • Julie BS says:

          Dear Stacy;

          At times we all feel that way. Maybe we got busy with something else or just a bit anxious. I find that taking time out just to talk to God and listen to Him through reading His word and engaging in something that’s just for His glory like praising Him, sharing or recalling something I know only He could’ve done for me takes me back to a place where I sence His peace and presence with me. Listening to reassuring gospel music also plays a big role in my daily worship.

          I pray that as we take this journey together you’ll deduce a formula to seek God with your whole heart whenever these doubtful moments come, because they will come.

        • Hi Stacey –
          Just as yourself, Wendy, Julie & Julie BS, I too have found myself feeling not as close to God as I know I should be and want to be. Sometimes we allow life to get in the way of our time spent with God. When I get that feeling I will immediately ask for HIS forgiveness and thank Him for all the many blessings that He has put into my life. And as soon as I’m able to, I will sit down and read the word or listen to gospel music. I have particular songs that always fill my spirit and really bring me to the Lord.

          I pray that this journey will bring us all to where we need to be in the Lord. Thank you for sharing all for sharing your stories. Have a very blessed day.

          • Thank you everyone for the words of encouragement. Today at work, I turned my mp3 player on and listened to Jeremy Camp. Last week I was feeling so encourage and then this week I have just felt sad. I know that when I try to get closer to God, the Devil is really discouraging because my mood will just change when there’s nothing that has happened to make me sad.

        • Kimberly says:

          I accepted Jesus when I was 8 or 9; I never really “felt” any different. Along life’s journey I have made more mistakes than I can count and somehow I always return to prayer and seeking God.
          I struggle with the belief that if I died today, would I go to heaven?
          I struggle with depression and just can’t seem to pull myself out of this dark place. I feel like I just go through the motions of life.
          I’m hoping this Bible study will open my heart and really trust God.
          Thanks Renee

          • Jesus loves you so much Kimberly!! Nothing you have done or will ever do can make Him love you more or love you less. I’ve seen that dark place and it is a hole that sucks you in. If you reach up, He will pull you out, I guarantee it. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your soul. When you feel like you have nothing to give, just remember that he is your strength and you don’t need to give Him anything but yourself. And He wants you just as you are. It’s not about us, it’s about surrendering to Him. He will take it all and turn it all to good. Have faith sweet sister, He is doing a work in you right now!!! I will be holding you up in prayer! God bless you. In His Love, your sister in Christ.

        • I am like this too. Others seem to be “tapped in” to the Living Water and are a well spring and I’m dried up. I don’t want to be a part of that evil, unbelieving generation that looks for a “sign” but I sure want to “feel” Holy Spirit more. Just like a physical hug sure helps, I believe a spiritual one works wonders also.

        • Stacey and Laura,
          I have found over the years that when I am not consistently in God’s word and I mean daily making time for God and to study his Word….I found myself distant. It was like I couldn’t hear God’s voice. All because I had allowed other things to cloud my vision, to distract and rob me of what God had in store for me. Once I made up in my mind and changed my mind-set, that I wanted to be rid of those things that I placed before God….his Word and the understanding of it opened my eyes and ears. I was able to hear from God again. Even in my workplace, it’s very chaotic and the negativity is very high….I purposely keep my mind focused on God’s word and sing songs of praise silently as I work. It helps me to have a positive attitude and not be afraid of the unknown. I will be lifting you my sisters up in prayer as God open your hearts.

      • Bernadette Burgess says:

        Laura, I am also very thankful for this Bible study. I am struggling with insecurties in several areas of my life. I am praying for a breakthrough with overcoming these insecurties. Thank God for his perfect timing.

      • Laura, I will be praying for you as well. It is so hard to find joy when uncertainty & doubt are present. It has been so helpful to see I am not alone in my fears. It seems there are so many other God living women struggling. I am so thankful for this study & for the opportunity to talk with others so much like myself.

      • I have the same fear! I thought I was alone.

      • Laura I understand exactly how you feel and pray that this bible study will help both of us in theis area. It is really hard for me due to the fact that my husband is the pastor of our ministry and people look to me not knowing what i fight with.

      • I to have the same doubts. With all I have done in my life I feel He could never forgive or forget and I wonder if He still loves me after all sins I have done in my life. I have just turned back to Jesus this past November after i lost my oldest son (age 32) out of the blue. I spent a month in a drunken state and blaming God and everyone. I had a nervous berakdown and spent 14 days in hospital. But now I’m in Gods Hands and I keep praying to get closer to him.My prayers will be with everyone on this jounry with me. Amen

        • I am so sorry for your loss, but know that God wants you with him and he will bless you on your journey!

          • angela 2 says:

            thank you Cyndy and God has Blessed me some already. I have a new church family and I feel they love me and are there for me but them again I’m scared to let people know what I need. Everyone tells me i’m so strong if they only knew. God is helping me open up more a little at a time.I tend to be the one people come to with their problems and needs I help everyone in my power all ways have. I’m blessed everyday I wake up and tell God thank you and I love you. Plus He put Renee and her study in my path, and 8000 other women to talk and share with. Thank you God for loving me when I didn’t even love me. Amen

        • Natasha says:

          I love your testimony Angela and appreciate you sharing it with us. I to am in a very tuff and ruff spot in my life. I didn’t even come to know Christ till i was 28 years old with three beautiful daughter’s. In which my youngest two daughter’s were taken from me in 2007, along with my oldest daughter whom is not blood related to my youngest two daughter’s. In TX possession is 9/10ths of the law. Their father severly beat me on numerous occasions. I took pictures but, never called the police. I left him on September 29, 2006, and had to have a hysteroctomy on Oct. 16, 2006. My youngest daughter’s b-day. I had no choice but to allow him to take care of the girls during my healing phase. My mother has MS and couldn’t help me to tend to the girl at that time they were 3,4,&8. So 3 weeks after i got the girls from due to the seperation issues. I hadn’t ever been away from my babies before and it was truly killing me inside to not be with them. So the moral of this story at this point was when i was bathing the girls i ripped open my wounds on the inside and had to be re-sutured. So he got the girls back. When he found out that there was no way on God’s green earth that i would continue in a relationship with him everytime i went to visit my babies he would call the police on me and i had no choice but to turn and walk away as my babies were standing in the window screaming and crying i want my mommy. Then the next phase i was served papers for him trying to get full custody. This was about a year after i had been trying to see my babies. Then in March of 2008 i tried to commit suicide, i went all through the holidays without and correspondence with anyone but the man i had been dating since january of 2007. He was the only other person whom had access to my home. All this time him had lied to me and told me that he was living with his mother when in reality he was living with his ex-wife. In wich it didn’t come out until last year that he finally admitted to doing this. But, he is the one who found me. Then it was like i worshipped him. He is the one who introduced me to Christ. But i didn’t come to know Christ until November 1,2009. In October of 2008 my oldest daughter called me and begged me to come get her. So I made all of plans to pick her up from school and transfer her to Arlington schools instead of Fort Worth. When my ex caught word of what was going on he kept her out of school that whole week so i couldn’t get her. I have had court orders on her since 2001, stating that i was sole custodal parent. That meant nothing to Fort Worth police. They would state that it was a civil matter that i would have to take him to court. So one day i just happened to catch him backing out of the driveway and i blocked him with my car and he tried to hurry up and get elizza into the house. During that time i was able to grab her and get her in my car. In otherwords a complete kidnapping scene like you would see in the movies. The man that i was with had move in with me in August of 2008. He help me to raise the girls until January 6th of this year. When he tossed me out of the bed and threated my life. He called the police i explained what happened and they took him to jail. All these years since 2008 i would have my youngest two daughters janet and michelle on 1st,3rd,5th weekends. And every thursday. So we had become a very close family. In 2008 he had punched me in my jaw during an argument. I let it go. In 2011 we got into an argument and he came in while i was taking a shower and shoved me into the wall during that process i had grabbed the removable shower head to break my fall as it and i were coming down it hit him in the forehead so he called the police i had to sit in jail for 10 days. We continued on till the january 6th incodent then i left him prior to him getting out of jail. On new years eve i tried to commit suicide again. So up until this january 6th incodent everything was all a blur. So at this point i have been completely lost. I found out that had naked pictures in his phone of his so called female associates. And the list goes on. Somewhere between november 1,2009 and i lost the whole insight of Christ. I had been put down and degraded on a daily basis, and that i’m not good enough or even worthy of marriage after 6 years of paying all of the bills by myself. His money was his when he did work. He did what he wanted to do daily without me even questioning not once. He would the house daily for hours at a time without me hearing on word from him. Which i didn’t care at this point due to the mental abuse it was my escape. So here i am me and my oldest daughter back at home with parents. Which is even more miserable than being with my ex. My has physically and mentally abused me and my mother my whole life. And now my girls and i are having to put up with him. My girls call him worse than a grizzly bear, a monster, an angry grumpy old man. During all of this i lost my job at the begining of february. I’m completely stuck at this time. A Confident Heart has hit so hard that tears are streaming down my face non stop. As i’m typing these words my dad is cussing me about closing the lid on the toilet. And my mom turn the AC up to 74. So he’s cursing me with the f word to tell me not to touch it in which i don’t mess with anything with out asking due to this exact reason. Please pray for me and my daughter’s safety and protection. Due to the charges against me for assault to my dad in my teenage years for defending my mom, myself, my sister, and my oldest daughter. And the catching the case against my ex last year if i catch another case it is automatic state jail time 1-3 years so i will have to sit here and except whatever comes my way without even being able to defend us.

          • Natasha,
            I can’t imagine what you are going thru. I love the next blog by ONA.. That was a significant line to me also..Turn back to the light!!! God is so much bigger than us and all our circumstances and if we let His light shine on us we are safe in HIS shadow!!! I will pray today and continuously for you and that the LOVE of Jesus shines from you and touches the people around you!


          • Father, God: I lift to You, Angela and Natasha. Thank you for them and for their hearts’ desire to do this study and draw near to You. Please protect them and their families. Please help them to be strong in their inner men, spend quality time with You daily, and discipline themselves to keep their hearts, minds and eyes fixed on Jesus. Thank You for Your great and deep love for these precious women. May they know that they know that love and walk in it, relying on You and Your mercy and grace to carry them. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

          • Natasha says:

            Thank you for your support. Everyday has been a trial and i’m truly looking to climb up out of this pit… Renee has been so amazing in her writings that it has truly hit me right in the heart. I don’t want to stop reading. Today was another ordeal with picking my youngest two daughters up from school. They (the school) wanted to call their father, and get his permission when they’ve had the court orders in their hands for the last 2 years. So i brought it to their attention, the principal and one of the counselors that lately my youngest daughter who is now 9. Has been coming over with discharge in the front part of panties. Their dad, uncle, g-mother, g-father, g-uncle, and gg-mother all live in the same house now. The crack head g-uncle burned down the living quaters of the funeral home where they lived. The exact words from my 9, 10year olds mouths. I know it’s the devil trying to get to me… Today after we got home and i cooked dinner while they were bathing. So when they got finished i had them bring my their clothes so i could inspect them again. And once more their is that same discharge. The principal and counselor told me to take them to the dr. Which i cant do tonight due to having to rely upon my parents who never want to get out of bed. But i do get them againg on friday. So looks like i’ll have to go to the ER with her. To get more documentation. The crazy thing is i’ve been collecting so much through the years to have had a lawyer tell me while we were in the court that it all means nothing at this point. If i went before the judge his lawyer was going to have me put in jail for 3 traffic warrant from 2003. In 2010. So i had to just settle. Believe me i will never just settle again. I will fight my way right through. I will no longer do it. In Jesus most Holy and precious name….

          • Mary Ann says:

            Natasha, thank you for sharing your testimony. I am praying for you and your girls. You will be united one day and you will look back on all of this a stronger, more confident woman. Most of my life I have been very insecure. It started back in early childhood. I endured sexual abuse from a neighbor around the age of 7 and physical and verbal abuse from my biological mother. Nothing I did was ever good enough. I was robbed of my childhood because I had to care for my three younger brothers. One was 16 months younger than I and the other two were 2 and 12 months. I took care of them while my mom watched detective shows….her fav was Perry Mason and soap operas. When ever I did something wrong, I was hit on the back of the knee with a hair brush. Not one of the hair brushes that we now but one of the old fashioned, sharp bristled one that was very ornate and with sharp edges. I was often told that if I wasn’t a good girl, then she would leave us and my daddy would hate me. I found out later that she told my brother that is 16 mos. younger than me the same thing. My father whom I adored was an over the road truck driver and we didn’t see him much. One day mom did leave. She said she was leaving to go stay with a friend because I was bad. I remember standing on the couch looking out our big front window watching her walk down the street all dressed up in her high heels and her train case….heavens, am I showing my age…lol She used that to put her make up in. She told my younger brother she would be gone until Thursday and I remember him standing on the couch watching for her to come back on Thursday as she promised him. She never returned, so I thought it was all my fault that she left an 8 year old daughter and three boys… ages 7, 2 and 12 months old. I did everything in my power to take care of my dad, afraid that he would yell at me and tell me it was my fault and my took care of my brothers. I became their mother until he met my stepmom. I resented her when she came into our lives because she tried to take my place. She became the mother and I was supposed to be the child. I didn’t know how to be a child. I didn’t know how to laugh or play. I was afraid she would leave if I was a bad girl. As I got older, I tried to find my biological mom because I wanted answers. Answers as to why she left me and her babies. Why she left my father and blamed me for it. Answers to how she could treat us that way and never look back. Needless to say, it left me a loner growing up. I didn’t date due to the sexual advances from the neighbor when I was little. I was afraid of ALL men except for my father. This behavior carried on through my high school years. I would talk to guys but that was it. I never let them touch me or get close to me. I was competitive in sports so much so that it wasn’t healthy. I was very competitive where the guys were concerned. Perhaps that was my way of getting back at the guys for that one man. It took me a long time to forgive my mother but then I find myself still trying to forgive her for much of what she had done and she died this past October. I had seen her over the years, trying to get answers and to try and get the mother-daughter relationship that I sooo craved. That never happened. I never got the answers from her but as I grew older and became a mother, it no longer mattered to me. I had to learn to forgive her and to accept her for who she was if I were to be a good mom to my three children and to be true to myself. So, I can relate to HIS words that he loves me just the way I am. As long as I remember the words Rene wrote on pg 24 “But I’ve found that when I choose to dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in HIM, I have a confident heart.” My story didn’t end there. I married the father of my children because I was looking for someone to love me and he did a good job of pretending….again insecure about my self worth. That marriage lasted 12 years and it was full of verbal, physical and some sexual abuse and infidelity. I was told that no one would want me with three kids. I was fat and ugly even though I wasn’t heavy at all. I was very thin but one you hear those words over and over, they became my reality. My children became my world. when I finally threw my husband out, he threatened to take my children from me one by one. He started with my oldest one and we went to court and the female judge awarded him custody of Christopher. A female gave my son, my baby, to a man who was physcially abusive, had a police record and thought he would be a better parent. His parting words to me in front of my attorney on the court house steps were “One down, two to go.” I turned to my attorney and told him I would be leaving the state with my two younger children and I left my family and home in NY and my oldest son, my precious child with my ex and his girlfriend and took my two younger children then ages 9 and 6 and drove to Texas where I didn’t know anyone. I had $500 in my pocket and an old Pontiac Firebird. I left under the cover of night so my ex-husnad couldnt’ follow and drove as far away as possible. Again, I have had to learn that I deserved better, I was not fat or ugly, and forgive my ex-husband for everything he did. It took me a long time to stop looking over my shoulder to make sure he didn’t follow. I have lived in Texas for 15 years when I went back to NY for my oldest son’s wedding. I prayed for all those years for forgiveness for my ex and that my three children would be united again and they were. My oldest son had been in and out of jail taking raps for his dad and in and out of foster homes. The state and my Chris was told that I was dead. It took a caseworker in NY to find out that I wasn’t dead and I was very much alive. So as we embark on this study together, no matter what your story may be, we have already taken the “first steps out of the shadows of doubt as we chose to embrace the reality of HIS measureless grace, unconditional love, and redeeming hope.” Thanks Renee. I love those words, knowing that our heavenly father loves each and everyone of us unconditinally no matter what we have done or what our circumstances are

          • angela 2 says:

            Hi Natasha
            thank you for telling me your story. I have only touched on the last few months so far. But always keep in your mind that I’m praying for you and your girls 24/7 and with out names I will put all of you on our ladys prayer group list. we get together once a month and prayer and talk for 2 1/2 hours. If we need to meet before the next date we call everyone and we meet right then with who ever called the meeting. I will be gone tomorrow but first thing thursday I will call a meeting and you will have 20 women praying for you for 2 hours strieght. And we will pray for you every morning noon and night. Keep you eyes on God and you willnever go wrong. You are a strong women you just want let your self believe it right now.We may be thaking the study to become more confident in our self but I think God used Renee to bring us all together to help eachother. With all My love in Christ. New friends Amen.

        • @angela…..sorry for ur loss. Praying for u and all of us that are going on this journey together Thank u for sharing. I’m so excited to get closer to God as well. My additude has been at an all time low… Long story but I’m hoping this series will bring me to a closer relationship with our Heavenly Father. Thanks ladies for taking the steps together and believing God will work and do great things thru each and everyone

          • angela 2 says:

            Hi Gina I know God will lead us all to where he wants us we just thve to learn to let Him in everything. I m going to do my best to give everything to God and really believe in Him. I hope to make new lasting friendships here and help each other with prayer and more prayer. thank you for your kind words and prayers. God Bless

        • Cannot even imagine what that was like to lose a child. Praying for abundant peace and comfort ad you grow closer to your Heavenly Father, who also lost His precious Son for a time.

      • Crystal Caudill says:

        I am familiar with this struggle too. I know you probably have finished the Bible Study by now, and I am getting a late start, but I will pray for you.

    • you can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back to the light. this sentence stood out to me. I pray that God continues to reveal himself to me and others. give me clarity, help me desern the truth and give me strength to deal with situations on a godly manner. this is my prayer for us all. Amen!

      • Amen, ONA! ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Amen, Ona! God bless you richly! May He answer your prayer for all of us!

      • angela 2 says:

        Amen to that. We are on our way.

      • AMEN!

      • Charlene says:

        That sentence really hit me too “you can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back to the light” – God’s directives & guidance is so simple, why to we make it so hard? I have a drawing of Jesus hugging a young woman- I keep it above my phone on my wall at work- this is to continually remind me that Jesus is ALWAYS there- He is our comforter and counselor- we only need to go to Him.

      • Lesley Edwards says:

        That sentence impacted me too! Also, the importance of reading, living by, knowing, trusting and believing God’s word as TRUTH instead of the lies of the enemy. God bless everyone who is doing the study. May we all grow in God, be changed for his glory and blessed beyond measure – that’s my prayer!

      • AMEN!!

      • Amen!!!

      • That exact sentence stood out to me as well! I love it! I have a hard time sticking to any kind of devotion or daily bible study. I always have “too much to do”. Its funny though because I find when I do stick with a devotion, even for a short time, I feel so much better and more confident. Its when I get in a lull, or turn away from the light that I start to doubt myself.

    • I agree. There is the void that I have tried to fill with things and people, but I know that void I for God. I just don’t know how to put him or let him get there.

      • I know how you feel jfrink. I want to learn how to truely let Him in my life in everything I do. Prayers to you. thanks for being honest you are not alone.

    • Maureen Chiasson says:

      For years I searched for worldly things to fulfill that empty spot. I read more books, took more classes, pursued job paths that so was not created for. It was not until I got desperate and found the end of myself that God fulfilled me by me letting Him in. He gave me clear direction. It was when I realized that because He created me He knew Where I belonged and what my gifting were better than I did. That was 12 years ago, and He still sometimes has to let me come to a place of seeking Him out when I turn to worldly answers. My New Years Resolution this year is to pursue Him. I am beginning to find peace as I struggle with my pride issues at times. Self fulfillment can not fill me up. When I struggle with pride He allows me to see that I am not perfect which brings me to His thrown again to ask forgiveness, guidance and sustenance that only He can give to fill my emptiness.

      • Crystal Caudill says:

        You story is a source of relieft to me. I am proud of your New Year’s resolution and will pray for your journey. I hope it is still going well.

    • jennlynn says:

      There were so many sentences in the forward and Chapter 1 that I can relate too. Insecurities and fear have stopped me from doing so many things in my life. I think in my walk with Christ I allow other things like what will my husband thinks, who is not a follower, staying in the Word and my walk with those around me aren’t fellow Christians. Going day to day gets hard and part of my insecurity is what other’s think and how can I make them happy… all my life that is my shadow! I’ve never quite known how to deal with it or get that off my back. I’m so glad I decided to do this Bible Study! Like the scripture says “all things are possible to [her] who believe” – Mark 9:23. I’m excited and I’m challenging myself to stay with this study! I’m excited to read posts and relate to others through this Bible study! I pray everyone has a blessed week and has open ears and eyes to Gods plans as we follow Jeremiah 17:7 and Trust in HIm this week! Have a wonderful day ladies!

    • I had struggled with filling that void with all the wrong things for some time. It occurred quite a few years ago . At the time I didn’t know what was occurring then the Lord took me into my desert n convicted me. I thank Him repeatedly for what he did in my life. I have come a long way by the grace n mercy of God but my confidence is severely lacking on many levels. I persevered w prayer not really knowing at times what I was praying for n the Lord lead me here. I am very excited for this study! I look forward to what the Lord will do in all our lives, I pray for His Will to be revealed so we can fullfil what He wants us to do.

    • Tammy Braun says:

      What resonated most in me was the entire chapter; and It is completely me, I see myself in the whole chapter. I have always had self-doubt. From the time I was 13-years old, I knew that if I was not pretty, skinny, and popular that I did not deserve love or acceptance. I learned this from my mother and her friends. They would stand without clothing in front of the mirror and pinch there โ€œfatโ€ and there was no fat to pinch. My entire mom ever discussed with her friends was the topic of being pretty and competing who was prettier. My mom and the other parents started involving us children, on whose kid was prettier. My entire life was based on being pretty and thus began my bulimia career. I did know God from a very young age. My family was not spiritual at all but I did have a neighbor lady who taught me about the Lord and I was baptized at 12 years old. From my earliest memory, I had doubts about my faith and this scared me even as a child. Today, I live with those same doubts. Am I good enough? The answer is no I am not. Even after reading the discussion questions at the end of chapter one, we were to read bible verses and tell how they made our heart feel. My heart felt immediate doubt. All I have ever wanted in this life is to not struggle with my faith and be a confident person. It was also asked for us to describe how we saw a woman with a confident heart. Here is how I see her and I want so badly to be this woman:
      A woman with a confident heart has an amazing connection to God, she lives and breathes his words, and she does not doubt his existence or his promises. She is a woman that other people crave to be around because the confidence in her heart exuberant her entire being. If this woman is married with Children, She is just like the woman in Proverbs 31. A woman with a confident heart will experience difficulty but the difference between her and I, is she is equipped with Godโ€™s Word and the tools to get her through a brief moment of doubt. One day, One Day, I will be like her. I have been saying that for over 30 years and it hasnโ€™t happened yet. I will not give up hope and that is why I am here. It is no accident that I found the Proverbs 31 website or that I am in this study. I am excited to learn new things about myself and how to develop a relationship with God. Thank you for listening to a very long post. My apologies, if it was too long.

    • BobbyJo21 says:

      Amen and amen, Pat to what you said abt ONLY God can fill that spot He HIMSELF can fill. I really believed that if a parents were loving enough ~ encouraging enough ~ ‘there’ all the time for there kiddos ~ that their children would turn out wonderfully equipped to meet their futures head on. And I still do believe we should be that parent. The only thing is ~ WE are terribly flawed even in our BEST efforts. The weight of that when our children can’t face their futures is crushing. Then we start doubting ourselves in how we were parenting. Because I see that more clearly ~ I need to come out of this ‘shadow of doubt’ and start praying for my daughter to look to her Savior for filling the void of self-doubt and find her future safe in HIS light. Renee, I don’t know if you will go back and read this ~ I didn’t have time to start until today ~ but ~ your book ~ Gods’ Word ~ and just this one comment from Pat have already helped me tremendously!! Thank-you ๐Ÿ™‚ <3

      • BobbyJo21 says:

        Also ~ just wanted to say ~ the example of your shadow was fabulous and really caught my attention and heart ~ Only looking at the Light turns me away from that ‘shadow of doubt’ ~ VERY visual example. So thankful God gave that to you and you have shared it with us. Blessings, Renee!!

  2. Clarissa says:

    Thank you Renee for listening to the Lord’s calling and inviting us all to take part in this journey while studying His Word and growing a “Confident Heart,” I’m excited and look forward to growing closer to the Lord and learning through you in the process! God Bless!!

  3. Renee thank you for this help. Its sad to admit this but I am so needy in the areas of my life I am afraid of . I have serious issues with driving directions my mind panic and I just sometimes don’t know where to turn even with the gps. At work I mess so far little things and now anything that goes wrong I get accused of it. Andso Its vwery uncomfortable beinf at work and trying to be nice to my co workers. I have a habit of wantinf to please people. I m so insecure. And I feel incapable of handling situations that arises in my life. I don’t want to be so needy. I want to be able to do for others and be confident and sure of myself. I have so much fear In me afraid to do and afraid to go and of what people will think and say o f me. Thank you for your prayers. God bless you and everyone.

    • I’m the exact same way when behind the wheel! Thanks for sharing and of course you’re not alone. Fear can paralyzing sometimes but fear of God can be freeing. May He give you comfort and strength along this journey to confidence!

    • Tina H. says:

      I recently came to the conclusion that i am a people pleaser and have doubt in what God wants from me. You are not alone. That’s why I’m so happy to be doing this study. I know that God has wonderful things for us and that we can carry them through as we get stronger through this study and with the Holy Spirits help.

      • I am also a people pleaser Tina however I don’t ever think I will/can do enough to please enough. I have come to realize that it is God I need to please not family, friends, or others. I too have doubted and wondered what God wants from me and for me. I am holding strong to faith that God is doing a work in me every day. He knows my insecurities and doubts and will use them to form me to the person he has intended me to be.

        • Monique says:

          I am doing this study with a friend from work We just had the people pleasing discussion at lunch. There are many of us in this boat. We discussed that we worry so much about what everyone else needs or wants that we’ve lost our own opinions and really don’t even know what truly makes us happy. We need to put our hope in God and not in our co-workers, family’s or friends. I know this in my head but I think I need a giant neon sign in front of me all day to actually make it happen! I am really in need of this study

        • Dawn, I too have realized that all of my worry is about my need to obtain others’ approval. I “know” I will never live up to others’ & even my own expectations & that I should strive only to please God. Knowing & doing are two very different things. I am still struggling with how to live only for God’s expectations & not everyone else’s. I will be praying that we all go beyond knowing to believing & living!

          • Suzanne, you described my thoughts exactly. I’ve been married 33 years, and I am still trying to win my in-laws approval. How crazy is that? I know I put a lot of burden on myself, but I never feel smart, pretty or creative enough when I compare myself to my sisters-in-law. I really want to break through and stop wasting my time feeling bad about myself.

        • Heather says:

          Thank you all for sharing your thoughts about people pleasing. Your thoughts about needing to please God and not family, friends or others spoke directly to me. I am struggling right now with a situation where I need to accept that what others think of me doesn’t matter, I should not be trying to please them. I confess I did put a lot of hope in this situation and didn’t understand why it turned out the way it did. I have been looking for a message in this situation and perhaps this is one – I need to concern myself with pleasing God and put my hope in him.

        • Amen Dawn

        • Dawn,

          I just want you to know that God is already pleased with you! He loves you and accepts you. It is proven in Romans 5:8 “God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” I pray that you remember that, otherwise we can “try” to do things to please God and that will still leave us feeling like we don’t deserve His love. We don’t, we won’t, but He loves us anyway!

      • TIna, i can relate. I am such a people pleaser as well. I want to do everything i am asked so that I will fit in whether it be for my family, work or at church.

        I suffer from a great deal of anxiety especially at work and was confronted recently about it. I started to cry.

        I know God has great things planned for me, but i often wonder what they are and how i should go about pursuing them.

        so thankful for this study

        • Heidi,
          I suffer terrible anxiety as well as a result of my people pleasing and self doubt. I have been on medication for many years, and just recently have tried to release things to God and slowly go off the medication. I love how the first chapter talks about replacing our thoughts with Gods truth.
          I am thankful for this study too. It is no coincidence! I also wonder what God plans and the “how” of it all. I pray daily He will give me the wisdom, strength, and courage to walk through the doors He opens.

        • I also suffer from high anxiety…attributed somewhat to Bipolar 2 disorder, but also from upbringing that caused huge insecurities. Turning to God and praying and reading his word daily and getting daily devotionals helps so much because I remember to turn my anxiety and fear over to God. He helps more than anything else has.

      • I have it really bad when it comes to being a people pleaser and doubting myself. I find myself trying to do whatever someone asks of me but sometimes it becomes overwhelming and i just feel that i’m obligated to do theses things.

        • @tee I deal with the same thing. The thing that I always remember that help get me by is that God made us in his image and he wants us to please him. With the self doubt I just remember that I can doall things for which Christ has strengthen me. Repeat that each time you have doubt until you believe that you can do anything with Christ. I hope this helped ๐Ÿ™‚

          • Hi, Jasmine:

            I like your version of Philippians 4:13 – “I can do all things for which Christ has strengthened me.” It is not for me to do everything put in front of me, but that for which Christ has strengthened me. What He wants me to do. It seems to go with the scripture about Christ’s body and each part having a specific function. We all belong to that one body, but give to it/participate in it in our God-given, individual ways. Does that seem right? He will strengthen us for His purpose for us, not in someone else’s purpose/skill, etc. What do you think? Thank you for sharing. God bless you!

          • @Cindy yes that sounds great! Often I have to stop and remind myself my job is to get right with Christ not go around trying to do everything that’s put in front of me. I struggle so much with caring about what ppl think. I really need to work on that.

    • To Julie,
      Your not alone in what you are feeling and what you are facing in your day at work or all the other things you had mentioned…But one thing that helped me to get past those thoughts, were to read 2 Tim 1:7…God did not give us a Pirit of fear, but of Power, Love and a Sound mind!!!
      He loves you the way you are with all the insecurity’s you feel…And love yourself knowing HE, GOD, created you…Jerimiah 29:11 …
      And you have sisters who love you and will help you overcome, as your a Overcome with Christ…

      I am doing a Study with Lisa Terkurst…..proverbs 31 is the best women’s ministry i have ever come across…


    • been there doing the exact same thing, will pray for you, for i know what you exactly are feeling, we have to have our confidence in Him, & that’s where I fail, I try to control things & that sure hasn’t gotten me anywhere!

      • Yes, nice! I try to control things, too. I try to help people change, and that is not for me to do. I am slowly learning that. Placing our confidence in Him, and those people and situations in His hands is the best thing to do. Thank you for sharing.

    • Brenda S says:

      Angie……I use to be afraid and panicky all the time. Please ask for Jesus’ help in this area. I had to out loud tell Satan to leave me alone………that his words in my mind were his lies. That I am a child of God and as such Satan had no power over me. I literally said this out loud when feelings of panic, fear, anxiety would overcome me on days when everything had been going well. Satan does not like you to be happy and joy-filled. Lean on Jesus and the truth. Talk and pray out loud and Satan will do away………he can’t stand the truth. I am praying that you will find the truth of who you are in Christ and how loved and cherished you are in Him.

      • Lindsey says:

        I am dealing with thoughts of fear. It’s usually just thoughts that keep me from doing things in fear of me getting too “nervous” – I am getting better with Gods help but it is no easy task! Things that used to be easy for me have become hard bc I am very insecure. God has spoken to me many times within the past year bc I know he is telling me to stop controlling everything! That’s my big issue really is thoughts and control. Just like the book says, doubt and hope cannot coexist!

      • I do the same thing when Satan is creeping in! Amen!

    • oh my goodness! I am the same way as well! Almost my entire response in my journal in relation to this week’s reading was in regards to being behind the wheel. I hate that there are so many others who deal with this, but I must admit to some encouragement in knowing that I’m not all alone. I found the scripture from the reading: Isaiah 43:19- “See, I am doing a new thing!” and then, of course from Jeremiah 17:7 about putting our trust and confidence in HIM, to be empowering regarding dealing with this during the next week. God bless you ladies and I pray that our hearts be filled with HIS confidence rather than trying to muster up our own.

    • Susan Whitaker says:

      After reading a few of these comments, my prayer is that we all gain knowledge in reaching our goals of a confident heart and a genuine personal relationship with our Lord.

      • I agree Susan… sounds like there are so many of us out there going throught he same doubts,fears,insecurities…Many spirits of discouragement coming against us. I also pray that our loving Lord will strengthen and encourage each of us to be the women He created us to be. May we all remember that NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST YOU SHALL PROSPER. Blessings and love to all my sisters!

        • Bernadette Burgess says:

          Thank you so much Cindy I needed to be reminded of this scriputure.

        • Imagine how our world would change if the 8000 women who are taking this study took these prayers and scriptures to heart and really lived with a confident heart. What a glorious day! This will be my vision as I pray this for all of these precious ladies.

        • I am so overwhelmed reading all of these posts. I have related with almost all of the posts, insecurity, doubt, fear, anxiety and people pleasing , the list goes on and on. Praise be to God that He is speaking to me and letting me know that I am not alone. That I have many, many sisters in Christ that feel the same way. I have always felt that I was the odd one, that I was that one exception that could not be set free from all the strongholds in my life. That I wasn’t good enough for Jesus to save. How blinded I have been. I know it is no accident that I am in this Bible Study, it was God’s plan from the beginning of time that I would be in this place at this time. I thank you Renee for your obedience to God, for being a available to allow God to work through you to help set the captives free! How AWESOME is our God!

    • Yes Angie I can concur on some of those same feelings. I am also the type that like to please others but I realized the more I tried to do that, the more unhappy I became. The only person we are obligated to please is God and once we please him everyone else will be pleased with us.

    • Oh Angie, I feel like you are living and telling my life story. I took a job offer 3 years ago, moving out of the medical field (comfortable) to working at a well known company as an administrative assistant (uncomfortable). I do not do so well with people looking their noses down on me. Every job I’ve had I have flourished, except for this one. The man I worked for (I have been moved to a different department because of him) always looked for the little things that I did wrong and had no problem pointing them out. It got to the point where I was afraid to do anything because if I messed up I knew he would make a mountain out of a mole hill. I was a people person and I think that is why I loved working with patients so much. Now I feel like I could care less, because anything good I do is over shadowed by the little mistakes. He also wasn’t a understanding family man. I always felt like anytime my child was sick I would lose my job if I called in. I now see that God answered my prayer even if it wasn’t the prayer that I prayed. My new boss is awesome so far, so encouraging on taking the vacation days I ask for. Has stated from the beginning that I should never feel bad if my daughter is sick and I need to stay home with her, he understands, children get sick. However, I feel that I let that one man beat me down and let me think lesser of myself.

      On another side note, I always feel like an outsider. Even at church I feel like I don’t belong and I know that is the Devil. He makes me question what the women at church really think of me, I question my salvation, I question why things in my life have happened the way they have. I recently suffered a miscarriage. We were told I would never get pregnant with my daughter and after 10 years of “not trying” I found out I was pregnant, only to lose the baby 3 days later. I’m so angry over that and I don’t know how to get over it.

      That is part of my story, sorry to ramble. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and I think God has a great plan for all of us and that is why he has brought all of us together.

      • Angela, I too spend too much valuable time wondering what others think of me, especially at the new church I’m attending and have met with the ‘not belonging’ monster too. I prayed about this decision to change church after 25 years at another church only because I felt the Lord was leading me there. But most of the time I feel like an ‘outsider’. I want the ‘confident heart’ of knowing I’m in His will and that’s will be enough.

        • Maureen Chiasson says:

          I spent years people pleasing and paralyzed by fear. Fear of rejection, fear of upsetting God, fear of others disapproving of me, fear of loneliness, fear of being judged, fear of being vulnerable, fear of not being Godly enough etc… This fear kept me from setting personal boundaries that would protect me from abuse, it kept me from reaching out to others for guidance, support and an accepting environment. It kept me from my authentic self hidden behind shame. It wasn’t until I started to reach out to supportive loving and accepting people who knew the skills that I needed and was willing to guide me in a gentle and non judgmental way as well as share similar experiences and reactions that I realized that I did not have to be isolated because I wasn’t alone in my struggles. Also, that inner voice was a voice of the Holy Spirit that was guiding me to set personal boundaries to protect myself and children. These boundaries are Biblical I learned that by reading Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. I no longer had to feel guilty about not pleasing everyone because I was only safe and at peace in God’s will. It has been a 12 year struggle I still stumble but I now have the ability to reach out to God, look to his principles and seek out healthy relationships. I have gained respect and love for myself and from others who would have walked on me like a doormat years ago.

      • Julie BS says:

        My precious sister in Christ, Angela;

        Our Lord wants us to trust Him in everything… Phil. 4:6-7 tells us to be anxious for nothing but through prayer and supplication with thanksgiving in our hearts we should let all our requests known to God. Romans 8:28 tells us that all things work together for our good because God loves us. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us that our God has great thoughts of prosperty & a great future for each of us His chosen child.

        Because of those verses I stated above, I am not angry about my miscarriage, I’m waiting on God to unfold as He prepares me for the thoughts He has for me based on the verses of 1 John 5:14-15 which tells me that I can be confident that my God is listening to me when I ask for anything that lines up with His will (for me). It’s hard to loose a child and trust God that it’s going to work for our good. But you know what? In spite of the harshness of that, if we pray without ceasing and be honest with God like you’ve mentioned He will comfort us, come through for us, take us to a new level in Him. I take the day I lost my baby as a memorial day and on this day I do something to glorify God which takes my mind off of my loss and it helps a bunch. I think it’s a healthy displacement that truly helps me.

        Colossians 3:2 tells us to set our minds on things above and so I look forward to when God will unite me with the precious baby I never met who’d have said mama some years ago. I fear God and trust Him. When the disbelief laced with anger comes from time to time, I cry out to God and look at how many children were born disabled… Knowing I couldn’t deal with it if my child would’ve come like so many my heart cries out for today. I recall that my God knows me, yet He loves me enough to have given His only Son in my place and even today bends all the way down to earth to listen to me.

        God heard your cry for help from your previous boss and has blessed you with a caring soul. Pray for both your former and current bosses. Ask God’s blessings upon their lives and thank Him for your experiences with both. Never doubt what God can do with our pain. God bless you and I pray for His divine peace that you may give Him thanks in everything.

      • angela 2 says:

        Hi Angela and Julie BS
        Sounds like we have lived the same life in many ways. I’m looking forward to being with each and every one of the 8000 woman in this study my we all find God closer to us at the end. I will start calling my self Angela 2 so we will know each other apart. God Bless All of Us.

      • Thank you all for your kind words.

    • Oh Bless you!! I just had to share this verse with you: for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. Ii Tim 1:7

  4. “Doubt keeps us from believing things can get better. Doubt convinces us that it’s not worth the effort” This past year has been an incredibly difficult year which had me in a place of just not wanting to live anymore because of how sensless life seems to be. I have gotten to a place where I dont trust anymore nor believe because everytime I have it seems that no matter what I did betrayal, disappointments devasted. I know life is not supposed to be easy but it is very difficult to keep moving forward when you feel that your efforts are for nothing. I pray that God change how I feel. Even as I read and become a part of this study the voices inside are saying ” what do you think this time it is going to be different? Who are you kidding you have tried to believe, trust time and time again and inevitably it didn’t matter” I am going to go through the motions and continue and maybe just maybe.

    • Norma, my heart breaks to read your reply here… It breaks because I, too, know about betrayal and disappointment. But the Lord has shown me the beauty He can weave from even the darkest of nights… Check out this passage from 2 Corinthians 1…

      “Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

      For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer.

      Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself.

      Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.”

      Hang in there, sister, and I pray that this study will continue to open your eyes to God’s redeeming work in your life.

      • Jesus I pray you would be with Norma in a special way tonight. I pray that she would feel your presence and know that You are the Only One who is worthy of our fragile trust. I pray that she would find the strength to continue this study and be blessed through her study of the word and Renee’s precious words. Bless you dear Norma!

        • Im praying with you too – for Norma. The way you love on each other, share verses and pray for one another is such a beatuiful picture of God’s love!

    • Christina Beebe says:

      Norma I will be praying for you! A wise friend once told me that when we doubt our salvation to just keep praying and reading God’s word! I don’t know if you are doubting your salvation but the same can apply in any situation – just keep praying and reading God’s word and He will get you through anything! At one time I too did not feel like I could trust anyone, but especially not men! It took my belief in Christ and many years for me to let anyone get really close. So please know that you are not alone and I will be praying God’s healing and grace for you!

    • Norma,
      Our heavenly Father promises us HE will never leave us or forsake us! I’m praying for you that you will ignore the enemy of your soul’s LIES that you are insignificant and that NO ONE can be trusted. Jesus can be trusted with our deepest needs and desires… Stick with this Bible study and more importantly, with our Lord and Savior! He knows the number of hairs on your head, the number of days of your life, your deepest needs and desires, and He is WILD ABOUT YOU!!

    • I have been where you are. Not trusting people is one of the biggest problems I had and it still comes, but I realized the more I trusted God the more He showed up. He placed those people in my life that I could trust and I knew they would not hurt me. I had to ask Him to show me where my lack of trust was coming from. What happened in my past that I was still holding on to because it had to be something. It was so bad that I didn’t even trust my husband and we have been separated for almost 2 years now, and when he left boy did I really start shouting at God, see I told You I couldn’t trust anyone all people do is hurt me. I even stop praying and I was angry with God because I felt He didn’t love me because if He did then why was I having to go through so much pain. But that’s where the enemy wanted me to be I had to understand that the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy and I was letting him. God loves you. He knows exactly how you feel. He knows exactly where you are. He wants to heal you from all the pain your past has caused you, but you must let Him. Be honest with God. He already knows, once you begin to be honest the healing begins to take place. I pray that you will continue to press in and know that our Heavenly Father loves you!!!

    • i hear ya, but that’s satan putting his thoughts there, i have so many doubting thoughts, we have to replace them with God’s word, He is stronger then anything in this world, will be praying for you.

    • sandralw8 says:

      Norma, I have been where you are for sure. Don’t expect big change but for now, look for the smallest of signs. If in church you are singing and you feel a urge to look up to God, that is a sign the he is calling you in my opinion. If you start smiling a confident-in-the-Lord smile over some thought, thats progress. I have not yet had a big religious experience in my new life, but the more I notice the small signs os spiritual growth, the more I am certain that I am moving forward in the Spirit. Don’t give up hope, but do give up expecting a huge gesture or instant fix. God gives us what we need but sometimes the yearning is what makes us ready to receive it.

    • Norma-

      Here’s a copy of a text that I recently sent a friend. I hope it will encourage you as it encouraged her. I felt is was truly God speaking through me and it ministered to me as well: “My personal experience has been that the hardest times have brought the most growth and healing in my life. It does stink when life doesn’t go the way we think it should, especially when that way is so rough. The Christian life is not trying harder though–I have learned that it is surrender. The beauty of the Gospel is not us pursuing God, but Him pursuing us! Pour out your heart to Him with the full weight of your emotions. For so many years (and I still struggle), I told myself that it wasn’t okay to feel anger and sadness and emotions like that, but that only caused me to stuff them further into darkness instead of bringing them to the light regardless of how ugly and sinful they were/are. But God, who is rich in mercy, welcomed me with open arms and healed my wounds and set me on a new course walking with Him. Life is SO hard, but God is truly good. Even when we can’t see it, He is constantly at work on our behalf. He has not forgotten us even though He may be silent. He sees you. He hears you. He loves you like crazy!” Praying that you will know how wide, long, high and deep is His love for YOU! That you would know that the best gift you give your family and the world is Christ in you, the unique, fabulous you God created you to be.

      • Nancyguam says:

        W- thank you for posting this in response to Norma. The sentence about the fact that the Christian life is not about trying harder but surrender…..awesome! I needed to hear that and even wrote it in my journal. I have spent many years working hard for God, thinking I was being his “helper”, thinking that if I just prayed harder, did lots of bible study, went to church each week, etc that change would happen. Surrender is the key! Trust him and believe that he loves me!

    • Bernadette Burgess says:

      Norma, my heart reaches out to you, I feel your pain because I am also dealing with trust issues. Having these issues has lead to fear. I am afraid to be happy, because everytime I experience happiness someone or something takes it away. I am standing on the Lord’s word the Joy of the Lord is my strength and onced received from him it cannot be taken away.

    • Hi Norma, thank you for your honesty. Just sharing that is going to let the power of the Holy Spirit come into your heart, your mind and home. If you can’t find the words, just say the name of Jesus. Say His name until you can say “thank you Jesus” and “I love you Jesus”. You will then be able to start unloading your heart to Him and He will respond. This can be done at night as you lay in bed or on the way to and from places – just give HIm that little and He will take that faith, your mustard seed, into Joy and answers to your hearts desires.

      Thank you for your willingness to be bold in asking for confidence today and being bold in sharing where you are at. Praying for you!

    • Maureen Chiasson says:

      My heart goes out to you, Norma. I have been in your position. You are not alone in your struggle. I encourage you to look to a support group perhaps in a church or other setting of people who have similar experience to help you gain the tools to get a new perspective on life. Read books that relate to the subject. Stay in prayer and stay connected. It is not a coincidence that God led you to this study. We have all been in rough spots at one time or another. You will be in my prayers. Glad you are on board with us:)

    • Norma, make Isaiah 49:23 your promise to live by: “those who hope in me will not be disappointed”. Speak this daily, several times a day. God will watch over His Word to perform it!

  5. So far, I am intrigued by your story and relationship with your father. It appears the divorced filled childhood has had some lasting effects on my life. Blessed with a husband and children, at 34 I find myself struggling with enormous insecurity and doubt about myself. The Lord is working in and through me to heal those areas, but hearing of struggle and depression encourage me that I’m not alone. My parents have married 12 times between the two of them. I grew up fast as a child, but the darkness set in when I in college. I’ve been fighting to find myself ever since, but I do see God loving and pursuing me. It’s just hard to believe it at times. Thanks for being obedient to your calling!

  6. Jilliandee says:

    “Doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time”… So many times doubt and fear paralyze me into thinking I am not worthy. I KNOW that is not true, but sometimes it is hard to pull out of that rut and really, truly trust and not just believe IN God, but believe he will do what he says he will do for me if I have the faith and hope.

    • Amen Jilliandee….I feel so controlled by my emotions so much of the time. I just keep praying for His Words of promise to make the trip from my head into my heart. I feel like a hamster on a wheel sometimes; I am completely empowered and rested by His Word for a season and then I will find myself under the same attack for a season…rinse and repeat ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • Hi, Laura:

        Me, too. I want that cycle to stop. I have just started reading Nancy Leigh DeMoss’ book enttitled SURRENDER. I want to stop trying to be in control and surrender everything to God. I am coming to believe that our trying to be in control hinders God and His sovereign movement. I don’t want to hinder the move of God in my life or someone else’s life. Does that make sense? What do you think?

        • Yes exactly! I did a study of hers a couple of years ago that was REALLY good! I can’t remember the name of it right now though :/ I have actually been struggling a great deal for the past couple of days and I guess it’s because I am doing this study and the enemy likes me to be sick. It stinks, but is a good sign I suppose ๐Ÿ˜‰ Praying for the cycle to END my friend!!!!

  7. Sue Barrow says:


    What you say about moving beyond believing in Him to really believing Him. Relying on the power of His words …. This resonates with me. For many years I had the theory – I knew the doctrine and I knew the teaching but I needed to move from my head knowledge to a heart knowledge. To believe in God is one thing, to believe that God is real and speaks and acts today and interacts personally with me is quite another. I have had to learn the lesson of this one the hard way.


  8. The sentence/ story that resonated the most within me was the conversation with the mirror…I constantly question my God given ability to sing. I’ve stepped out in faith away from a band that was hard working, but soul draining. I’m waiting / walking into a new chapter of singing…I want to share my gift to Glorify God. I really am looking forward to this work at such a time as this ….refilling my soul and my confidence!

    • I can relate to that I believe God has given a beautiful instrument with my voice, but my lack of confidence has come from not feeling like I meet others standards. I will listen to others sing and begin to compare myself and that doesn’t end well. I know that God did not give me this voice to just sit on, but I just don’t know. I want to also share my gift, but I’m waiting on God to show me when and where. I pray that as you search and begin to allow Him to fill your soul that the words and sound that comes forth be a new sound that will draw people to Him. I pray that He will continue to use you for His glory!

    • I know what you’re going through, I’ve been there and have heard God’s answers through doors opening, I just had to believe in myself enough to accept the calling. I’m a worship coordinator at our church, but if you told me I would be doing this 2 years ago, I would have never believed you, as I didn’t have the confidence to do so. Praying for God to use me for His glory and his purpose got me through. He never gives you more than you can handle and knows the plans he’s made for you, trusting them in hard but he will give you strength. You’ll know when the time is right to use your gifts if you continually pray for his wisdom. He provided me circumstances to overcome this fear and mentors to guide me into this calling and I pray he does for you as well.
      Remember, Romans 8: 28: For we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been CALLED according to his purpose.

  9. Janet F says:

    I related with the story about the shadow on the wall pg 21. My doubt distorts my thoughts overpowering my emotions and on the next page how that doubt causes such insecurity it paralyzes me with negative statements that I believe instead of believing what God says about me. Thank you for shepherding, leading, praying, encouraging, connecting and pacing us in this study and for all those who are helping you also. With 8000 who signed up for this study it seems there are a lot of us Jesus girls who need confident hearts!! You are a blessing Renee.

    • Janet, through this journey may you learn to replace the lies, doubts and insecurities with God’s truth, promises and confindence.

    • Madeline says:

      Janet , that is the same story the resonated with me. I believe the “doubt shadow” distorts our view of everything…especially God Himself. It always makes me feel like He doesn’t care or doesn’t want to help me. But if I look into the light, look into the Word of God and what it says about Him, and me in Him then those doubts have to go !!! The line ” You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light”, really struck a chord…I had never thought of it that way. It seems so much easier for us to fall into the habit of looking at the shadow instead of the light. I am praying that all of us will break that habit and learn a new way to live !!!

  10. It is both exciting and scary to embark on this journey to find Godly confidence. I feel like I’ve spent so many years living in insecurity that confidence is fleeting at best and nonexistent at worst. It’s interesting that Renee points out that our uncertainties lead to doubt. It is not unusual to have uncertainty in life, actually, most of life is uncertain, isn’t it? But uncertainty can lead to doubt or faith. Most of the time for me, I let the shadow of doubt and insecurity grow way out of control. And doubt’s whispers can be so paralyzing! But resting in God’s promises is the cure. God wants us to be abundantly free and fully confident in Him. I’m looking forward to His work in transforming me on this journey!

    • I like your insight — uncertainty in life is a constant but we actually have a choice. We can doubt (and we all now know where that will lead) or we can choose hope/faith. It is an exercise we will have to do constantly–choose faith! I’m thinking I need to have post its with scripture all over my house and office as reminders.

      I wander if its works the same as dieting? Do something consistently for 30 days and it will become a habit? ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Kelly–Glad i’m not the only one who is seriously thinking of resorting to Post-Its, Ha! After a turbulent few years, my concentration isn’t as good as it should be…..hence my love of Post-Its. But I really think you’re right–it’s a choice. Choose despair/doubt, or chose hope/faith. I was doing well for a while, but i’ve gotten worn down and realized that I need to turn it over to something much bigger than myself or those “paralyzing whispers” just won’t go away. (Good phrase, Julie) Can’t do it on your own.

        I’m a little ‘weirded out’ by the thought of doing a bible study and ‘journaling’ and whatnot….was raised pretty conservatively Catholic and if anyone does that, they don’t say so. ๐Ÿ˜‰ However, it’s just me and the cat, and she doesn’t care, so why not?!

        And I’m dieting too, so hopefully i’ll have some seriously good transformation in 30 days, hahaha! ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. The sentence that spoke to me was…”Doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time. We need to know and believe that change is possible. We need to hope that life can be different. Otherwise, doubt will win every time and our hearts will be eroded by attitudes and emotions of defeat…”
    What I really relate to is the “what if…” thoughts that want to flood my mind with doubt.

    • This is what stood out to me too. Its like an internal struggle with me, which one is going to win – doubt or hope. I tend to let doubt settle in more often then hope. My doubt creates a bad attitude in me which is then poured over into my family. I’ve read this book a few years ago, and look forward to going through this study again.

      • I feel the same way. Doubt wins out most of the time. Even when the light of hope encourages me it seems doubt always worms its way in to diminish it. I am a happy person on the outside (going through the motions) but depression and doubt constantly pull me down when I’m alone. I honestly do not want to be this person and don’t believe I am deep down inside. I don’t know how to let this “person” out and crush the doubter. I think it’s a trust issue and a fear of totally letting go and let God be God in my life. I pray through this study I can overcome the “familiar misery” and make the changes necessary to be one of God’s girls with a Confident Heart.

  12. I remeber reading this before and now this time around I was able to get more out of it. I was actually able to concentrate and answer the questions that were asked at the end of the chapter. I was also remembering the prayer and how now it is so much more powerful to me. It brings out the fact that God is with us on this journey. Last time I did this study I only was able to get to chapter 3 do to an intensive program I went to for healing. I thank God today that the program was available to me because i learned alot and it has certianly done wonders for my ability to now concentrate on reading and other things i like to do. I am not alone on this journey none of us are alone. I know that self-doubt runs in all of us and that makes me feel like I am not traveling this rode on my own.

  13. Doubt and guilt seem to go hand and hand in my life. Doubt creeps in and keeps me from doing what I should do, and then guilt comes in behind it and accuses me for not doing what I should have done. I have lived with these two things for the better part of thirty years. I have been worn down by it. I feel heavy with the weight of this burden. This was lifted 10 years ago when I recieve the Lord as my Savior. But somehow, it has creeped back in, the consequences of those decisions thirty years ago keep coming back to me, to remind me. I know that God loves me, and has forgiven me for these old mistakes…the hard part is forgiving myself. That is what keeps me from walking in confidence all the time. I am like a rollercoaster ride. I don’t want that ride anymore… I want to believe the promises of God for my life. I want to let go of the guilt and doubt and be the confident woman, He made me to be. I am going to keep repeating Rom. 8:28, all week. I am going to believe that God works all things for the good, and that He will turn around what the enemy meant for evil. That someone will benefit from what I have been through, and God can use me for His will.

    • Wendy…..you took the words right out of my mouth. I also have doubt and guilt from some very bad decisions that I have made in my past. I don’t know why it’s so hard to forgive ourselves, I know God has forgiven me. I’m done with the rollercoaster ride too, I do good for awhile then I’m back to feeling guilty.

      I am so ready to be the confident loving woman that God wants me to be.

      • I pray that we all can overcome doubt and let the hope that comes from the Lord, reside in our hearts.
        Thank you Tina H., for letting me know that I am not alone. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Madeline says:

        I struggle with guilt over past mistakes and bad decisions too. I know I am forgiven, but I still have to live with the consequences every day. I guess one of my biggest doubts is that God will make all things work together for good. I am praying that I will see a release from this. And a change in my life, in me because of it. Even now, it is hard to see that things can be different. I pray we will be healed in this area and that we will see God’s goodness unfold in our lives. That we will see His good plan working out of our past.

      • angela 2 says:

        Hi Tina H
        were you spying on my life. lol I to struggle with the same things. I pray all the time for God to lead me and then I struggle with “is this God or me” so I end up not doing anything. I will get more into my story later. But remember we are not a lone in these feeling. Prayers and God Bless

    • Oh my Wendy, I think we all live with doubt and regret for what we can do in life and what we have done in our past. The good Lord knows that I have several dark things in my past and every once in a while the devil loves to bring them out and dangle them in my face. I to have got to learn to forgive myself and not so much forget the past but put the past behind me. God has already forgiven, we just have to forgive ourselves and learn to let go and let God.

  14. Thank you for your willingness to follow your calling! The timing for me finding you and this study is perfect. In fact as I was reading the description a friend of a friend posted a prayer request for her 24 year old daughter who was struggling with her self worth. I was able to tell her about this and the mother was so thankful. For myself I have been struggling with self doubt, self worth and feeling less than all my life and it is at its peak right now. Life circumstances have escalated these feelings. However after reading and doing the first assignment I already feel hopeful and am looking forward with anticipation to what a God has planned for this time together! Thank you!

  15. Being raised a Preachers daughter you would think I would have the confidence and trust and securities but I was teased so much growing up that it shattered my self worth. I can see now that it has carried over into my adult life I don’t have that confident heart I feel as though I’m just here to raise my kids and a be a help meet to my husband. Although I have raised my kids to “trust” in the Lord and they can do anything I believe my actions spoke louder than my words and I didn’t live the part. Now my family is going through some extermely hard times and I feel as though I have failed them in teaching that all things do work together and that all things are really possible.

  16. Debbie Eubanks says:

    Doubt, I would say should bey middle name. I live under the shadow of doubt. These four statements stay withe all the time…I can’t do this, things will never change, my life isn’t going to get better, I’ll never have the confidence I need. Just steep out one more time to try something new. It’s failing, don’t know why I expected anything different. I prayed and trusted with all my heart. Put everything I had into it, because I beloved in it, still do. But it’s going no where!!! So disappointing!!! People will not get the products that I know will help them tremendously, God will not be glorified through it, my daughters college will not be paid off, we will not retire comfortably, we will not be able to bless our children financially, the golden opportunity I seek that is within me will not be found!! Failure, welcome back my friend. At least I can say I tried!

  17. Julie R. says:

    The analogy about the shadow truly spoke to me. I have been living in a shadow of doubt it seems all my life. I know that my sexual abuse as a very young child has distorted my belief in myself that I am worthy of someone loving me. I am very, very confident on the outside and am very confident with people and in front of people. But, in relationships I have no confidence. I am in a enormous battle right now in life with a truck load of self-doubt and worth. “Blessed is the woman who trusts in the Lord and whose confidence in in Him” That scripture spoke to me and hit home. Blessed means favored, fortunate, worthy of worship. So if I keep focused on the Lord, trusts Him then I will be happy, fortunate, worthy of worship!!!! This truly is my promise to stand on this week. I also struggle with self-talk. I call them demons in my head!! So Rom. 12:2 is a scripture that really hits home. How we think plays a huge part in who we become and who we are. We need to transform our mind from thinking that we are worthless to believing that we are worthy of worship and fortunate and happy and favored. It is all about what we think and believe. This is easy for me to write and tell others, but I so struggle with applying it and living it in my own life. I would like for you to be praying with me that I will start to apply this truth to my own life and act on it!!! i will be praying for everyone during this study. I know God has led me here and is wanting to speak to me in a very powerful way.

    • And no doubt He wants to speak to you! Thanks for sharing and I’ll definitely be praying with you.

    • Dawn Marie says:

      I just want to let you know you are not alone. I also was sexually abused as a child and have had so many struggles because of it. I appreciate your prayers and will be praying for you as well.

    • Julie,
      I know exactly how you feel. Have you forgave the person that sexually abused you. It works wonders when you do. I thought to myself why should I forgive him hes the one that did wrong to me. I was told once that am letting him have power over me. Am still in bondage until I truly Let Go and Let God and forgive him for what he has done to me. Am keeping you in my prayers and I hope for the very best for you. Take care and Godbless

  18. I related to the sentence “Perhaps you are good at hiding your doubts and no one but you knows the paralyzing power they have on your life.” I’m not very good at verbalizing my feelings. I try to make other people think that everything is good and fine in my life, that I don’t have any problems. Therefore, I have pushed people away and feel like I’m not good enough to have friends, or I’m not as good as many others. I have felt that way for years! I’m so tired of it! I even push God away because I don’t feel like he will want to help me. Even at the same time as wanting him in my life. I liked the other sentence about believing God, instead of just believe in Him. Because I am so insecure, I try to control other people in my life, and that hasn’t gone too well either. I do still have hope though! Anxious to do this study. Thanks.

    • I related to that one too, Gina…..I always have to be the “rock”–haven’t got the time or situations to voice doubts/fears that much. My closest friends live far away, and I always worry that I’ll sound like “Debbie Downer” when I talk to them, so I try to keep it upbeat or just let it go and not connect with them if I’m down. The ‘believing God, not just believing in Him’ part is definitely something to work on! And hey, they say that being able to talk about it is more than half the problem, right? So we’re already off to a decent start. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • angela 2 says:

        PamI do the samething. I have tobe strong and say nothing is wrong with me even if i’m crying on the end side and just want to hide but wait I can’t people need me I’m the strong one . I don’t wantto be thr strong one all the time. I want someone to hugg me and say i’ll help you what is YOUR problem. Know what i mean. I’m with you on believing God not just believing in Him. I’m working on thiseveryday and some days are better than others( I have alot of others) but I keep praying for help in everything in life i feel is my flaws.I do believe God is working in me just don’t know how right now.so like you saidwe are off and running now the hardest step is overwehave made that first big step of starting day one. Amen and God Bless us all.

  19. Self-doubt has had a hold on me for years because I have always believed in God. I always believed He existed, but I never believed Him. I always saw Him work in others lives, but never believed He could do it for me. For a long time I just went through the motions hoping that would work but it didn’t. Then my husband left and after that I was truly devastated and didn’t have anyone I felt comfortable talking to and could trust. During that time God begin to speak to me . He begin showing me, me, but I still just didn’t get it.And besides it really didn’t matter. But He continued to show up and He continued to speak to me.He even used other people. So as I started drawing closer to Him I begin to feel His presence even More . I would love to say that my husband is home and we’re one big happy family, but he’s not. I have realized that I can trust God and thatHe has all things under ccontrol, but I still doubt because I focus more on what I see and less on His promises, but what I have come to realize just this morning is that I have to believe Him, not believe in Him . God is not a lier His promises are true and I must believe that for myself. No one else can believe that for me. If I want to see God work in my life I must believe Him no matter what I see or face I must believe Him.

  20. Cass James says:

    When I sat down at my desk this morning, the first thing that caught my eye was one of my many bright yellow post its that read ‘Blessed is she who believs that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her’. As I turned to open my journal to prepare for today’s lesson, the verse at the bottom was from Psalms 37, ‘Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart’. It felt like God was cheering me on, encouraging me in that sweet way only someone who knows my true heart can.

  21. This will be the third time I start this book! Never have I had such difficulty getting through a Bible study! I have a feeling it’s because I’ve allowed satan to distract me from some major growth God wants from me in the weeks ahead. The shadow of doubt part of chapter one speaks LOUDLY to me, as I have so often found myself there. I anticipate God growing me greatly as I go through this study with 7,999 other women! Think, girls, of what God can and will do in and through us if we will persevere and stick with this to the end…

    • This is also my third time to start the book….once last year with the on-line study; we are now in Chapter 9 of the study in our LILIES Bible study group on Thursdays; and now, again, the on-line study. I am really going to GET IT this time, I pray! I am asking God to stay with me through this study to the end and to keep the enemy away. It is so easy to become distracted, which makes him very happy. Imagine how thrilled God must be to see that 8,000 of his daughters are coming together to learn His ways. Praying for all of you today!!

  22. Page 25 I loved when you wrote, “when we pray God’s words out loud, and hear them, the Holy Spirit engraves them on our hearts.” That touched me. Sometimes when I read the Bible I feel like I am just reading another book. For what ever reason nothing resonates with me. But to know that the Holy Spirit is listening to what I am saying put it in a whole new way of reading the Bible for me.

  23. Thank you, Renee for this Study. I will continue to believe that God will you this Study to help me overcome my self doubts and thoughts of insecurity. Thank you so much for listening to God’s calling and for allowing Him to use you to help all the women who struggle like me. The Bible verse that has really spoken to me today is Isaiah 49:23 “Those who hope in the Lord will not be disappointed.” I will make this my life verse as I go through each day and say it over and over again until I feel confident to do whatever it is that I am scared of. Thank you so much, Renee.

  24. What a way to start a new study! Jeremiah 17:7 is just what I needed to hear today. Yes, hearing the daily prayer and scripture does make a difference for me. Thanks Renee! What sentence jumped out to me this morning? The sentence that states WE make choices. I too often forget that and use the I can’t statements as my excuse. When I’m in the Word, life is simpler and excuses a lot smaller.

  25. Thank you Renee for following God’s direction, being totally transparent, and creating this study for us….the non-confident women who want to change! All my life I’ve been afraid of something to the point of making myself physically ill at times. I was taught that being confident was the same as acting like I was better than others. Because of my lack of confidence in myself, I stayed in an abusive marriage for over 13 years and raised my daughter in that environment. I want to help women that are in that same situation today, but first I must conquer these self-doubts that still haunt me.
    I am so excited that “the God of hope is calling me out of the shadow of my doubts so I can live with a Confident Heart!” I am so so so ready to begin this new chapter in my life. I just accomplished a huge step in my business and I don’t want to allow my lack of confidence in myself to shut me down….again. I know that God has placed me in this place as a ministry for my life and I don’t want to throw it back in his face for a second time.

  26. Valerie says:

    Two things really encouraged my heart this morning.
    1. The reminder to pray God’s Word aloud and the power in the spoken Word!!
    2. Hebrews 10:35-39. I can completely identify with the “shrinking back” picture, and I was reminded of the
    crucial goal to aim to “please Him” above everything else as I live out my life and make my daily decisions.

  27. The story about the shadow spoke to me for sure. one sentence that stood out (I think I cried through the whole first chapter) and I underlined was pg 21 where it says ‘The unknown is too scary. Although you’ve been miserable, at least the misery is familiar where you are now’. I am guilty as charged. the misery feels comfortable so I allow myself to stay in it because the unknown is too scary…….Huge wake up call. I want to get beyond the miserable and live confidently in God and see what unknown he has in store for me. I’m praying for us all to walk through this open to God. Open with each other (our stories will help one another no matter how scary it is to admit it and say it to women we don’t know). Let’s get all that God has for us….he’s waiting on us. Thank you Renee for this.

    • The unknown is too scary…… This is a phrase i have been dealing with over and over in my head. This year has been the hardest year that i have had to experience. My husband had an affair when our first daughter was 1. We decided to work at it – go to counseling etc. Now eight years later i find out of other woman during those years during the years we were going to counseling, etc. During which time we have had another child. He still wants to make the marriage work. We are currently separated. i feel at such a crossroads in life – I did not grow up in a family with divorce, so this is not something i ever wanted, but there has been so many lies and betrayal, i just don’t have the desire to work at it. i also don’t feel God would want me to stay in a relationship like this. So i relate so well with the doubts, fears, and unknown things ahead in my life. I am praying that my heart can find healing and become more confident and i can become closer to God to see what he wants me to do in my life. Everything looks scary to me right now.

      • Juanita says:

        Let God lead you. Pray and listen very carefully to His directions. I recently read Hope for the Separated by Gary Chapman. It is very good and knowing that you are doing what is right and just for His glory has helped immensely. God’s plans are better than we can imagine IF we are obedient to His word. Take care!!! XOXO

  28. Procrastination I think that I always avoid to do things because the fear of rejection or failure I feel sure if I popose things. That’s is the main thought I have right now.

    “Perharps you are good at hiding your doubts” this sentence spoke to me.

    • I meant “postpone” (sorry English is not my first language)

      • Gloria, you are so brave to be doing a Bible study in another language. Although I speak three languages other than my native one, and even use them in my work, I do not feel confident that I could join in a Bible study in one of them. Way to go! I am so thankful that God has put all of these sisters together to learn together all around the world.

  29. I have to start by telling how I received this book. My husband saw this book online and ordered it for me several months ago. When I got the package on my desk I thought it was another book that I had been wanting (Unglued). When I opened it and saw the title, I was insulted. I said to myself, why would he buy me this?? I am a very confident person! I don’t need to read a book on how to be confident! I even confronted him about it (which is why I needed to read Unglued ๐Ÿ™‚ It has sat on my desk for those several months now and I didn’t pick it up to read it. Then I got the email about the online study. I felt that this was God speaking to me and telling me to “PICK UP THAT BOOK!”
    As I read the forward and the first chapter, I realized that having a confident heart is not only about having confidence in yourself, but about having confidence that God is ready and willing to be our savior in every situation. I am a confident personality, but when it comes to my marriage (3rd one), I am very doubting! The doubting whispers on page 22 struck me. I ask myself these questions regularly about my marriage. I often wonder where God is while I am struggling to keep it together for a third time. I wonder why do things continue to look hopeless to me no matter how hard I pray and try to trust that God will take care of it.
    I am hoping that through this study that I will gain the confidence to not have to ask these questions anymore. That I will simply be confident that God is in control of every situation and that I can put all my trust in the One that can fulfill ALL of my needs.

  30. Felicia Hepburn says:

    The first sentence that caught me was what doubt whispers. I thought, “God did you tell her what was going through my mind?!” This study comes at a time of serious attack for me. I am in the process of planning an event that the liar and enemy of my soul would have me put away and never think if doing it again because I don’t have the resources, I don’t have the organizational skills, I lack the know how, I don’t have what it takes to ask for donations and so on and so on. Simply seeing that someone else besides me fights this battle gives me comfort. Thank you for doing this again! I am believing His promise that who the Son sets free is free indeed!! Blessings!

    • Felicia, praying for you as you work on planning for this event. Do not let me enemy get a hold of you and your confidence. God has placed you here for a reason. Lean on Him and He will see you through. Looking forward to studying and learning together.

      • Felicia Hepburn says:

        Thank you so much Jamy!! Here is something funny. The enemy tried to tell me that my words, my voice means nothing. He tried to show me how many women were being encouraged and prayed for and it seemed as if… as if mine was silent. That’s how he lies to me. He tells me I’m not worth the time, the prayers. I appreciate you! Blessings!

    • Felicia, I’m in the same place as you. Starting a new business. Satan keeps pounding doubts in my mind and they are very powerful. I have tried something like this before and failed many times. I know in my heart God put this in my life. But to succeed I have to step way out of my comfort zone. This time, I am say “GET BEHIND ME SATAN”. I am trusting in a God!!!

  31. This has been an incredibly tough year for me – coping with a marriage breakdown (and build-up!), the suicide of my stepson’s mother, illness throughout our immediate and extended family, and an overload of stress with too few coping mechanisms landing me in the pits of depression. The one thing that kept me going, and kept me hoping for a better day was my belief that everything was happening for a reason, that God has a plan for me and this is all part of it. I thank God every day for a select, small group of true friends who have walked beside me and reminded me where I can find strength in my darkest moments. One of these friends is completing this Bible study with me! Sadly the sentences that resonated with me in Chapter 1 were the sentence that doubt “shouts from the sidelines”. These sentences have been frequent visitors that I have used to keep me from either “going for it” or “sticking with it” on numerous occasions. Interesting that in the most difficult times this past year I did not hear doubt shouting those words, but rather heard the words “you can get through anything, just hang in there, it will get better”.

    • DeeDee, it sounds like it has been a difficult season for you, but that God has surrounded you with a great support system. I think it is wonderful that you are all doing this study together. Praying for you as you continue down this journey with God.

    • DeeDee, I am SO glad you invited me to join you in this study! You have, no doubt, been through a difficult year to say the least. My heart has ached for you many times. You have shown tremendous courage and dedication, you have faced and survived what many women would not. You should be proud of yourself. Excited to be taking this journey toward a confident heart together! Much love ๐Ÿ™‚

  32. When I got my book I was so excited I read the first chapter and I just sat and cried …I didn’t realize that I carried soo much self doubt and that I am letting it stop me from being all God would want me to be…I feel freedom Is coming my way Thank You

  33. S
    “See, I am doing a new thing.” Isa. 43:19. The Lord has been telling me that all year. Confirmation!

  34. Im here listening and praying as you share your thoughts. I love how you all are loving on and encouraging one another. That makes the best online experience possible. There is so much power in our prayers and encouragement.

    “I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lordโ€™s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledgeโ€”that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

    Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,” Amen!

  35. It’s wonderful that this study came about right now. I, too, have had this book for a while and have not finished it. And now, with job insecurities looming, odd feelings of disconnecting with friends and neighbors, self-doubt, this popped back up at the most perfect time. A couple of weeks ago, I read a book called ” your One Word” and after a lot of thought and prayer, mine turned out to be “confidence”! Then- here comes this study! ๐Ÿ™‚ I have faith that God is about to do a big thing-and I pray that I have the persistence and confidence to come out on the other side a more confident, anxiety-free woman who can use her potential to let go and stop worrying, and to remember that I’m not driving the bus!

  36. KeriannArnott says:

    When I first starting reading the chapter, thoughts of hope were trying to make their way into my mind. I don’t want just another self-help book, but something that I can dive into daily and that leads me back to the Bible. Self-doubt has always been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I’ve let what other people tell me define who I am and what I can or cannot do. I want to be the confident woman God has called me to be. I am looking forward to learning more about what God has called us to do and be and more importantly learning more about who God is.

  37. Becky W says:

    I was told about this study by a co-worker who is struggling with her own confidence and she wanted someone to walk through this with her; our plan is to keep each other accountable. Reading through chapter one, I realize this study will be as much for me as for her! God even comes in through the back door of our minds sometimes! Two things really spoke to me so far; the struggle with feeling confident when asked to use our gifts to serve but as the time draws near, doubt builds up strength and over shadows the confidence God has already given us to succeed. The other is the concept of praying the Scriptures, I have heard of this concept before but never felt “confident” enough in my knowledge of Scripture to think I could use it effectively. To see it demonstrated at the end of each chapter will be huge not to mention that the way I read the Scripture will take a different, more personal direction in application. Thank you, everyone!

    • Becky, having an accountable partner is such a wonderful idea. Praying that you will help and encourage each other through the course of this study.

  38. Doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time. We need to hope that life can be different: Otherwise, doubt will win every time and our hearts will be eroded by attitudes and emotions of defeat-but it is not supposed to be this way.
    Those two sentences really jumped out at me. “I can’t do this” and “it’s too hard” are whispers that I hear a lot. Especially anything new that is unfamiliar. I shrink back and feel so insecure at times. Praying God’s word really does help me and I am praying that this study will give me a confident heart. The scripture, “all things are possible to (her) who believes” gives me hope. I am praying God’ Promises for me and all of the sisters that are doing this study, that we will Believe and will gain a Confident Heart! The song, “All Things Are Possible” came into my mind as I read the scripture . It’s by Hillsong. Google it if you’ve never heard it.

  39. Kim Parrish says:

    I loved the sentence on pg 23 when you said “God doesn’t want us stuck in the cycle of defeat or living in the shadows of doubt”. This statement is so true but yet I have never thought of it like that. I have lefft self doubt take over a lot of my life and miss a lot of things. I am eager to get deeper into this study. Thanks Renee; I can’t wait!

  40. The question that asks if doubt/insecurity have ever kept me from doing anything really got my attention. Doubt and insecurity have kept me from doing a lot of things, but these issues are also tangled up with my weight. I have gained weight in the last few years and that has increased my trouble with having confidence and feeling secure. When I was thin and felt good about my appearance, I was a lot more confident, but I realize that in both scenarios (both now and then) my confidence or lack thereof was based on me, not based on God. If my confidence is based on God, then I will be secure no matter what I look like because it is not about me. True confidence can only come from God, right? ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Great insight Sandra – I am with you on this one for sure ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Bernadette Burgess says:

      Sandra thanks for your insights, Fighting my weight problem, has stopped me from doing and many things. I never looked at it from your point of view.After reading your post the Battle is not mine but the Lords came to my memory.

  41. Self-doubt is crippling for me most of the time.. I am so tired of feeling unworthy and being afraid of rejection. I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful daughters who shower me with love and yet I still live in the shadow sometimes. My parents, though loving, created most if my doubt and fear of rejection. Growing up I felt the need to do everything perfectly and when I didn’t, I felt the crushing power of failure. Now as an adult I still cannot openly discuss things with my parents because they take everything personally and are nearly always negative. Isaiah 49:23 spoke to me today as well as the sentence about hope and doubt. As I was reading this morning, I too heard the voice of doubt saying “why do you think this is going to help this time?” I am tired of feeling defeated as a daughter of God, wife, mother, friend, etc. I know God doesn’t expect perfection but I want to be confident and BELIEVE I can be who God wants me to be.

  42. Michelle says:

    I have to choose. Choose to dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I belong to. Choose to embrace the reality of His measureless grace, unconditional love, and redeeming hope.

    It is so much easier to believe the bad as much as I want to believe the good to believe His Word for me not just for others. To believe I am not a mistake. To choose to believe His grace is sufficient for even me. To choose to believe I am worth getting to know. To choose to stop hiding and start living. To choose to believe I can do all things through Him who strengthens even me. To choose to believe I do matter, I matter to Him, my creator, the lover of my soul, my redeemer. My hope is in Him.

    Lord please help me with my unbelief!

  43. One of the words I highlighted was… Perseverance … So, stick with it!!! :). The other thing I highlighted was this … โ€œYou can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the lightโ€. So to me that is a great reminder to live in the light of God’s Word. Great is His faithfulness!

  44. What first caught my eye was in the Forward where you were talking about looking to people and things to FILL you. If I’m honest I have a tendency to do this as well. I like to be able to see and touch someone or something and even though I know God is there and I pray alot, He isn’t able to be touched. I also thought about one of the questions at the end of the chapter where it says Has insecurity kept you from doing something? Yes, many times. It’s part of what’s keeping me from going back to work right now. I have been at home for so long now I’m afraid sometimes to go back to work because I’m not sure I could do it well or fit in. These are things I’m working on in myself.

    • From one Pam to another–I hear ya! Read the part about trying to get people to fill you up, and I immediately thought, “Ooo…..guilty on that one!” The insecurity thing pertains to me too…..I’ll have to think about that one more, actually. It’s kind of sneaky, ya know?

      The wheels are already turning in our heads……has to be a good sign. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Insecurity keeps us and me from doing a lot of things. I know some of it comes from childhood and then we get hurt or put down as adults and sometimes without us knowing it, it is like another knife being jabbed in our heart. We don’t realize the effects sometimes until later. Our mind is a powerful tool and the enemy knows just how to use it against us. After so long it becomes almost impossible to change.

  45. Anything you wrote about doubt are places where my mind has been. Childhood circumstances taught me to protect everyone and I have carried that into my life all of these years. There was a breakthrough about 1 month ago and Jesus has been graciously revealing so much to me. There is a long journey ahead as I learn to trust My Jesus and, living in Him, allowing Him to change my life to trust my own husband and children. I am looking forward to this time together. I am amazed that there are about 8,000 women joining in here. Amen!

    • Debbie, your words could have been written by me, including the recent “breakthrough”. I am looking forward to continuing the journey to more fully trusting in and believing the Lord.

  46. Jessica K says:

    Thank you so much for writing this book. I am a new Christian. God has always been in my life but I never read the bible, out of fear. Fear that I would discover something I had done would be unforgivable. Fear has ruined my life. I live in constant fear of life, what does the future hold? can I keep my children safe? will I be safe? I can’t even listen to the new without almost having a panic attack. Will my marriage last? Fear, depression and anxiety have run my life for over 12 years. They have turned me into a tired, irritated, on edge mother and wife. I want to know God and KNOW that no matter what comes against me I have the strength to get through it and that I can overcome my fears and live a blessed life with confidence.

    • Thank you for sharing! I pray that God will show you the depths of His love and provide comfort for your fears. I can say that He is willing to forgive anything and everything, past, present, and even future. Yes, He even knows our future mistakes and failings, and forgives them. I pray that you’ll be able to lean upon the Lord and let him take your burdens. We can’t control anything or anyone in this life (not even our own emotions), but He is in control and He always has our best interest at heart. God bless!

    • Jessica, I am a new Christian myself and am filled with major self doubt. I have been battling clinical depression for the past 12 years and have just come out of another episode. I am constantly searching for answers and help with my problem. When I saw this bible study it really spoke to me. With being a new Christian I am hoping that I may finally find some peace through Gods word and with the help of other Christians. I am tired of being a miserable person and I know my family has had more than their fill of it also. I pray that this bible study helps us!

  47. I am really excited about this study. So much of my life I have allowed myself to live in the shadows of my self doubt and let the fact that I have failed so much in my life that things will never be different. I have to admit when I picked the book up at the store I almost talked myself out of it and doing this study all together because “I am not ever going to change” But that is the thing, I can’t change on my own, through God’s Power I can be changed. I have great hope that He will break these strongholds that have allowed me live like a turtle in my shell all of my life. I struggle with my weight and am in the process of losing weight and have felt that once I get down to my goal weight I would be so much happier but it still is not going to fill that void that only God can.

    I wish you all good luck in this study and pray that God removes our shadow of doubt. Have a blessed day!

  48. ” ‘You’re not worth staying for’ was a lie, but it became the truth through which I filtered my worth in all of my relationships.” “What we need is someone who will pursue us and accept us even though we’re flawed.” My hope & prayer is that thru this Study, I will allow the head knowledge to move down and penetrate the very core of my being; to know that I can have a confident heart, despite all my flaws. To know there is Somebody who is pursuing me, flaws and all.

  49. I also have such low self esteem, for so many years, don’t know how to get out of this cycle, I’m hoping this study will get me more confident in my self.

  50. Marcella Rich says:

    Coming from a divorced family I vowed never to do that to my children. My parents divorce left me feeling abandoned and unloved. Just the child who was bad and needed to be beat and do all the chores. My marriage of 33 years is struggling. I keep telling myself that God can make everything new, but I just don’t think it for myself. God healed my Mom of lung cancer, this past month. No medications just prayer. So I know he can do it. But my insecurities says others not me. We lost a child to cancer 30 years ago. God was with me the whole time. He kept giving me different Scriptures each day. He also gave me dreams of what was going to happen the next day so I was prepared. But that was then, it doesn’t seem to be now. Depression the past two years are the norm for me know. Each day trying to stay focused on other things. Im eager to read this book and do the study to get the confidence I need in Christ, so I can live for him again. Hopefully become a happy person again.

  51. Michelle says:

    What sentences in Chapter 1 resonate with your heart or speak to you in a personal way?

    A- In this season of my life I found several sentences that spoke to me personally…

    `doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time` (p. 23)

    `when I choose to dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in Him, I have a confident heart.`
    (p. 24)

    `embrace the reality of His measureless grace, unconditional love, and redeeming hope` (p. 24)

    `We will find our heart’s confidence in Christ as we learn how to rely on the power of His promises in our everyday lives.` (p. 25)

  52. I have always struggled with self doubt. As a child, my parents always made me feel as if I was unable to do anything right. To this day, I still have horrible self doubt problems. I have recently become a member of an amazing church and can already see God working in my life. However, I still have MANY issues of my life, from the past, that are always creeping up and making me doubt myself. I am so looking forward to taking the time to participate in this online study. I think the first thing that stood out to me in Chapter 1 was the line that said, “Self-doubt blocks the promise of God’s power and truth to change us from the inside out so that we can live with a confident heart. I do NOT want to block the promises from God. I know that I need to work on this issue to be able to confidentally take the next step in my Christian walk with God. Praise be to God for bringing me to this book and to this study course.

    • I can relate so well to being told I can’t do anything right from a young age. But it’s encouraging to see God’s many blessings in your life, and yes, He has wonderful promises for you! God can break the cycle of self-criticism and self-doubt, and I pray that you’l continue to walk confidently in freedom!

    • Denise, I understand exactly what you are saying. I have recently started at a new church and they have helped me to realise that God loves me in spite of me. I have had similar problems with never feeling good enough for my parents and its time that that self doubt was stopped, tamed. I don’t want to block the power of God to change me. I want to say “bring it”!!

  53. What resonated the most was the father issue..as much add i loved my dad he was never able to love back. He is gone now but i mid him dearly and i too struggle with doubt and insecurity. Have been reviewing this book in abooka study at my church. Its an amazing book and such a blessing!

  54. Satan does not want me to do this study. he keeps distracting me. Pray that I can focus!

    • Christina Beebe says:

      Father guide CJ and keep her focused on her pursuit of You and encourage her to put her trust and hope in You. In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen

  55. As I had begun this study with some dance moms at my daughters studio, I soon found that I was not alone in my fears of doubt. In a studio where there are pretty moms, skinny moms, stay home moms ect the group that I studied with relized that many of these doubts translated back to their own child hoods (mine too) and that these are doubts that we are passing along to our own children. We are trying to measure ourselves up and our children up to be what God has not made us to be nor how we want to be. We laughed and we cried as we begun our journey in chapter one of your book. We are so excited and pray we can bring in other dance moms to share in our journey of fixing our self doubt and trusting the Lord. Please pray for our group as we also hope to bring in some non believers too.

  56. Carla Willis says:

    Renee thanks for sharing what God has placed in your heart with us. I truly believe that as women of God its important to have that confidence and assurance that God has this. Having a confident Heart will help us all serve God in a more powerful way. Jeremiah 17:7 states, But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. Trusting in God we can never go wrong. He is stronger than any of our insecurities. Going through this study we allow me to be a much stronger women against the enemy because of my confidence.

  57. I have read this book before, but felt called to go through this Bible study. I struggle with confidence daily as a mom. Am I really doing a good job? Why do the little things get to me? I am hoping that following this study and reading other women’s stories will show me that I am doing a great job! Thank you so much for this book and for this study.

  58. TABITHA JONES says:

    The very first sentence in the foreword made me cry. I went back to my childhood in my mind were I longed for my Dad to pick me up, swing me around and tell me I was special. My Dad was not very loving growing up and this struck me hard when I read it. I always wanted to just hear him say “I love You” and it was just not something he did. I have had abuse in my life as a child and I resented my Mom and Dad but with God’s help forgiving was not as hard as I thought it would be. It is hard to forget the things that happened but I will not let it ruin my life. My Dad got very sick about 8 years ago and I had to help take care of him. I know now God was mending my relationship with him so it would be easier for me later in life. My Dad died 4 years ago from brain caner at the age of 54. If I had not had God in my life I would have never been able to make some lasting memories with my Dad to take the place of the bad ones. I have a reallly hard weekend this weekend, with Easter. I have cried for 3 days. My family was always so close and this is the first year I didn’t see my sisters or my Mom on Easter. Please say a prayer for me to take all this book in and learn what I need to. I know my self-doubt and lack of confidence comes from my past and I am ready to face it head on.
    Everyone have a blessed day.

    • Thank you for sharing so honestly. Your experience is heart breaking, but God is clearly using it for good in your life. You are a very strong child of God, may He continue to grow you and bless you. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

  59. Lisa Reynolds says:

    Thank you Renee for this study. My self doubt started as a child, when I was teased by my body image. I have a great life but always felt I could have done so much more, if only I didn’t carry around this backpack of self doubt: I am not pretty enough, smart enough,skinny enough. It wasn’t until I met my husband, that I felt I was worth so much more. Mom told me I was beautiful and can achieve whatever I set my mind to. But I never believed what my mom said because I thought that is what mom’s are suppose to say. Now I find myself saying those same words to my sons because I love them unconditionally and I believe in them the same way God’s love is for me. I have become more confident, but every now and then a weight of self doubt will be put upon me when I feel I not respected by others, or loved by others. That’s when I am leaning more for human acceptance then a more Godly acceptance. You see God knows who I am, my strengths, my weakness and knows when I am about to mess up, but yet he still loves me for you I am. I don’t have to prove myself to him. He loves and respects me for who I am. I am sure he wishes I would learn how love and respect myself. That brought tears to my eyes typing this. Thanks again.

    • I too have struggled with this since childhood. I am slowly learning that I don’t need the acceptance of this world, but it is still hard in this day and time. Glad to know I am not alone, and neither are you : )

  60. First I want to thank you for doing this study. There are so many of us out there that are struggling with our walk with God especially in these difficult times. I really loved the statement that you made where you stated that DOUBT and HOPE cannot live in our hearts at the same time. I know that change is possible, but now I know that if there is dobut in my mind, that I need to STOP before I allow it to go on for so long and know that with God I have hope to succeed in whatever I am doubting. I love Isaiah 49:23. At this time of my life I need direction in which way He wants me to go. Recently I have quit my job to take care of my elderly mom and doubt always creeps in to let me know that maybe I made the wrong decision, especially when I don’t see my mother getting better. I look forward to the rest of the study. I believe that it is no coincidence that this study has come my way. Thank you Renee.

  61. 1) Heb 10:35-36. Patient and Endurance. Whatever circumstance we need to press on and trust in him and we will be blessed.
    2) Pray God’s words out loud.
    Thanks for sharing.

  62. The sentence that stood out to me was ….You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light. I know doubt and trust are my issues right now . In Jan. I found out my husband of 28 years was having an affair. We are now trying to restore our marriage but their is a lot of doubt and trust issues. I am going to turn back to the light and trust in Him. I am taking this study so I can have a confident heart and know who I am in the Lord.

  63. Murphygirl says:

    I have been living in doubt my entire life, never believing I was good enough in any area of life. I have spent thousands of dollars getting degrees in the hopes that would make me worthy. I have always felt overlooked in the workplace and everywhere else. My instincts tell me to run when things don’t go my way, and so I do. This along with other unhealthy coping skills has kept me “stuck.”

    I have been walking with the Lord since 2005 and recently, while feeling less than once again in my work life, He showed me that running away isn’t the answer, running to Him is………I believe this study was placed in my path to overcome this place I have lived in my whole life. I am excited to experience what I know will unfold as I embark on this journey with all of you wonderful women.

    • I’m a runner too!! I know what you mean about being stuck…I’m there with ya! Ready for a change and excited about our new journey!!

    • What you said resonates with me! I find some confidence in having the schooling I have, but a lot of what I’ve done and accomplished as an adult is to constantly prove something to myself.. which hasn’t been proved.

    • Caitlin says:

      Murphygirl, your post speaks so directly to my heart. I’m in college right now…I’m a senior and will be graduating in December. One of the greatest sources of anxiety and fear in my life has been a career choice. Choosing a degree and planning what I want to do for a job has been a rough journey…I’ve been through feelings of worthlessness, depression, and hopelessness. I definitely felt that my value rested on my grades and the degree I get and the job I find when I’m done…

      I’m now more settled in some choices…after going on a mission trip and working as a counselor at camp last summer, my trust in Jesus has grown SO much! However…feelings and thoughts of doubt still creep in. I still don’t know what God’s plan is for me..where I should work. What graduate school I should go to. I still feel like I have to look out for myself. Clearly, I need to trust Him more. He is SO able and worthy. Why do we doubt Him? I don’t want to run to anything else for comfort and security. Only Him, knowing that He will lead me to the place He wants to use me. I am glad to know I am not alone in these struggles and am hoping that through this study, we will find strength in quiet confidence and trust.

  64. I too have walked around, like Lysa, holding my little heart shaped cup out asking someone or something to fill it…always to find it empty. I didn’t know anyone else did this! Page 23, I know what it’s like to feel paralyzed by doubt! I am ready for a change!! Thank you, Renee, for your book. Thank God for you!

  65. I am so happy to find your book and this study to do with so many other women! I have felt for so many years that I was the only one who felt so insecure and afraid of disappointing others. I am tired of feeling like no one truly loves me. I am tired of bending over backwards trying to do everything perfect for people so that they may want to include me in their little group. When I expressed this thought and this study to my mother-in-law she acted shocked that I would feel this way! She said she had never felt like this because she knew that God loved her since He made her the way she is; maybe she was just stronger in her beliefs than I was then. I went away mad and hurt! I cried over that dig but wasn’t surprised by it. They happen regularly from her. When I tried to explain that there were lots of women that feel this way she couldn’t believe it, stating that she had never heard anyone say such a thing. It seems as though I am surrounded by “strong” women that don’t understand my tender, broken heart. I am so looking forward to this study with everyone and growing in my LORD and Savior!! I know He loves me! Now to grow a confident heart for Him!

    • I can say that you’re not alone in feeling insecure. I’ve definitely done my fair share of “bending over backwards” just so I can be in some elite little group. I’ve come to realize that if God really wanted me to be in those groups, He would have provided. Perhaps your mother-in-law is not struggling with insecurities because God has provided her with abundant confidence. However, I do believe she could have shown a little more compassion towards you. Men and women struggle tremendously with doubt and insecurity every day. We get good at hiding them from other people, but we can’t hide from God. So no, you’re definitely not alone and God has amazing blessings for you!

  66. What popped out at me most was, You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. I myself have let my insecurities and doubt get me so far away from the light that i have lost sight of my purpose that God made me for. So much darkness has clouded my vision that i am stuck and lost in a huge never ending storm of anger and pain. I am here now to become confident in God again and opening my hard heart to allow myself to trust his unfailing plan for my life.

  67. I do believe in him, but I find myself admitting I never did believe Him. Especially concerning my life. Towards others, I always recognized He is great. In my own life, He seemed far away. This journey will teach me to believe Him, concerning my life and the path He traced for me. I finally understand how to pray effectively, by praying His words, not my own. Because my words display my will, not His. When I am filled with His word, it will be easier for me to stay in the light, in His will and in the path He wants me to go.

  68. What stood out to me is the importance of saying scripture out loud. I read a neuroscience article once several years ago about the brain circuitry involved in addictions (stick w/me, I promise it’s relevant) and the importance of re-wiring your brain and one way you do that is by repeating something out loud — key, even if you don’t believe it (ex: I am not a smoker, I don’t need a cigarette, etc.).
    But the reaction in our brains (when we’re addicted) when that thing is taken away from us, is “I’m going to die without xxx” so it sends that message out to our body and we NEED whatever we are trying to quit.
    The author said one way of overcoming that, is to deal with it by telling ourselves out loud the truth, until it works.
    I think the same thing applies absolutely, here. It is important not only to believe God obviously, but he also made our brains to work a certain way and when we get addicted to something, or to a pattern of thinking… it is extremely hard to “just believe” and “have faith” -so I loved that you pointed out we need to say it out loud Renee.

    • Renee Morgan says:

      I truly agree w/that Sarah ๐Ÿ™‚ that is why I post scriptures/prayers on my mirror so while Im getting ready for work in the morning I say them out loud. It helps for us to believe what we are saying. Its hard at first but it works and the times that you really dont feel like doing it, is when you should really being saying it out loud.

    • I have wanted to do research on this very thing because I have seen such a BIG difference in my life when I say God’s promises outloud, or pray them out loud in first person. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Thank you so much for sharing that. LOVE IT!!

  69. Patricia says:

    Ok dont know if my comment through or not so posting again always struggled with self doubt growing up and through my marriage, I thank God for this book while i was posting a scripture came to my head
    Gal 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

  70. Oh I forgot the other thing, in my excitement with the neuroscience connection I mentioned above!
    The other thing that stood out to me is “Don’t listen to these thoughts, my friend” (p. 23)
    This may be because I teach Listening Behavior, a Communication course, at a local university and we talk about this… but one thing I have a hard time with is I don’t often consciously think these thoughts. It’s more like a feeling I have that is sending me a message, emotionally, that equates to all the ones you mentioned on that same page. And I’m in trouble before I even realize it. I’ve been working lately on actively choosing truth, etc. and saying it out loud (prior to this study) and it’s gotten me out of some messy situations, that my insecurities could’ve wreaked havoc in. It was HARD work though to do this.

    • Dawn Marie says:

      Thanks for sharing your victories with us. I know that the most transforming growth I have experienced has come through praying aloud and reciting scriptures aloud, especially in the difficult situations. I have gotten away from doing that the past few months, though. I am ready to get back to that place of actively allowing God’s Word to change me!

      • Thank you for that reminder about the power of praying and reciting scriptures aloud. I find that hearing the word repeatedly from my own mouth, is most profound.

  71. I am excited to finally read this book! I have been wanting to for such along time but never did and things kept popping up about this book all the time!! Soo I thought ok God I get it – I’m suppose to read this book! Thank you for this study and I’m soo looking forward to reading with you all … Enjoy ๐Ÿ™‚

  72. Renee Morgan says:

    Good Morning! I struggle so bad w/self doubt and having very low self confidence. Im not too sure where in my life I began to struggle w/it but I am going to believe that through this study God will begin, if he hasn’t already, to show me when it began to show its ugly face in my life. I struggle w/depression and OCD, as well. There are a couple things that stuck out to me in Chapter 1: 1. Self -doubt blocks the promise of God’s power and truth to change us from the inside out so that we can live w/a confident heart…..that is so true. Self-doubt can block the promises so bad to the point where the only voice (s) I hear are no longer His voice and I cant stand it. I know God is w/me and by my side but it is so hard at times when the self-doubt voices are louder than His voice. 2. Doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time, we need to know and believe that change is possible…..I know change is possible but sometimes it is so hard to see the change when all you can see is what is in front of you. I try to so hard not to see what’s in front of me, I ask God to open my eyes and let me see things through his eyes and not mine. If I see things through my eyes I will never see the change. I am so down for change and I’m ready for it, just need that confidence in my heart to get me there. I know its there but I have to find it. 3. When I choose to dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in Him, I have a confident heart…..one thing that I have been doing is posting prayers or scriptures on my mirror in my bathroom. By doing this it helps me to choose to dwell in Him and his assurance. I’m not going to act like its easy because trust me I have days where its super hard but with it in my face it makes it a little easier. I am so ready for this to begin in my life because I am soooo tired of being in this place. I have husband of 16 years and we have 4 beautiful children. I know they can see and sense when I am down and out or in that dark place and its not fair to them. I have got to come out of this place I am in, feeling worthless, not good enuf, not trusting people, etc. I have so much to live for, not just my kids and husband but what God has called me to do while I down here on this earth still. I know he has a purpose for me but I feel like I cant fulfll the purpose till I get the confidence in my built up, not my confidence but His confidence. So ladies, I am here because I need the help and the change and I ask that you prayer for me to reach that Godly confidence, that Godly boldness and get rid of this self-doubt, depression, voices (ungodly voices), etc, as I will do the same for you ladies as well. We CAN do this, regardless of what the voices in our heads try to tell us. We are MORE THAN CONQUERORS…………..ROMANS 8:28-31.

  73. Hello Renee – I was happy to see that you are doing the online-study again. I tried participating last year but it didn’t workout so well. But, I’m back to try again. I read chapter one and it is very enlightening. It made me think back to a little girl and how I’ve always felt insecure, shy and . . . unimportant. Today, I”m not as insecure, know that I’m important, but still have insecurities in a lot of areas. I look forward to this on-line study and to read everyone comments. I know that we all can be a support system for each other. Have a very blessed day.

  74. my whole life fear has keep me from doing things. I have been going through a hard time for the last 4 months health issues and not knowing what . No definate results have another appointment . My prayers is that through this study I will fear not for the LORD is with me ! I have been a Christian for 30 years i have walk close and then not so close !please pray that I will make it through this study and that my life would be totaly surrender to the LORD

    • I feel ya, Glenda. Fear is my number one inhibitor in my life. If I can cast out those fears and really believe that God will take care of me and, in fact, has been taking care of me in all of my 25 years then I will be so fulfilled.

  75. Renee, thank you so much for doing this study.
    Self Doubt has been instilled in me since early on. It has now reared its ugly head again. Self esteem issues started when I was young because of family issues. Those family issues are still there and renewing themselves daily. When I read Jeremiah 17:7, the first thing that I heard in my head was “wait, I have confidence in you, and I am all you need” the Lord reminds us that we must trust in Him. He has many blessings for us. He has confidence in us. That is enough. I have been freshly reminded again today! I am so looking forward to this study and what everyone has to share! Thank you again Renee and all of those who are participating!!
    Even though my family has left me – does not mean that my Lord and Savior has. He is here! He is my Hope! He made me in His image. Sefl esteem issues are from Satan. Period.
    Now if I could just remind myself of this everyday – We are getting somewhere! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Teresa, that is where I am at also… that I KNOW that my lack of confidence is from Satan and I can say it all I want but I need to learn to really believe it and most importantly to live it. Looking forward to changing and growing with you!

  76. I am starting this study today with so much hope in my heart. I have struggled with anxiety and panic attacks and I’ve approached this problem from many angles. This includes but is not limited to medication, yoga, nutrition, therapy, etc, etc. However, while all of these avenues are important… they are not the ONE answer. My fear stems from a lack of trust in my life and how I am leading it. I am hoping that this study will teach me that i am NOT IN CONTROL and that it’s OKAY and preferable to not be in control. My life in God’s hands is endlessly more fulfilling than my life in my own hands. I look forward to this journey and I pray that God will open my heart and help me stay committed to hearing the truth that I KNOW he wants to share with me through Renee’s book. I look so forward to doing this with all of you beautiful women!

    • Jessica, I am praying for you!
      Lord, help Jessica to know that she is Yours! That she is a daughter of the Lord! Lord help Jessica to know that she has all the confidence she needs – Your perfect confidence. Lord I pray that you allow her to see that.
      Lord help these women that have become vulnerable and opened their hearts to others through this Bible study. Lord send a hedge of protection around all of us while we go through this study. We love you Lord and we give you the glory that this study will bring forth!! I pray this in the name of Jesus!

  77. Denise Birman says:

    I believe what caught my attention the most was the statement that I have always believed to be true…If this is God’s calling on my life, wouldn’t I feel like this is where I belong?” All my life I haven’t felt like I belong anywhere. I have always felt I was a burden or a bother to people. All I ever wanted was to be a mom and even though I accomplished that, daily I criticize myself for the mistakes I have made and feel like that is the reason God didn’t allow me to have more children. I criticized my husband constantly for his parenting skills, especially now that I see my children being so much like him. But realization came last night in a family blow out, it was my defending them which in turn caused us to argue that has made my children feel like they are at fault for us not getting along. Talk about an eye opener.
    I used to see myself as such a positive person, people even told me they didn’t know how I did it, but now I see I should’ve been more like that in my own home. I tried, but always felt it was a losing battle because of so much negativity from my husband. I always felt that leading by example would change him and then when it didn’t I would get angry with him and frustrated with myself. I get angry at myself for my mistakes and then doubt everything I’ve ever done. I need this Bible study! Even though all but one of my children are over 18 maybe I can still make a difference…

    • Renee M. says:

      You know something that I learned over the years is that in order for someone to change we have to change first. When I was first told that I was like “y do I have to change 1st, y can’t he/she change first?” “y do I have to watch what I say or do but he/she doesnt have to watch what they say or do?” God has shown me that I needed alot of changing w/in myself (still working on me) before I could even expect the person I was wanting to change to change. I am here to tell you it works, its hard, but it works and then of course everything begins to work according to HIS plan and not my plan…..that is why we have to change 1st before who we want to change, can change.

  78. Brenda S says:

    “”What’s wrong with me? doubt was something I had dealt with more times than I wanted to recount…………I doubted I was worth keeping……………. doubt robbed me of joy…………..I questioned whether I was good enough…………I doubted my husbands faithfulness………..doubting you have what it takes to be a good Mom………the unknown is too scary”” IT’S NOT SUPPOSE TO BE THIS WAY!!!”……….just a few of the sentences I have underlined in the first two pages. Doubt, fear, uncertainty were always a part of my life. I have signed up to do this study now for the 3rd time. I will admit that I have come a long way since the first time……..with help from my Jesus…….but still need to continue on the journey to knowing fully who I am in Christ. I have already answered the questions for part one…………here is what I wrote for question one a year ago.

    When I was 5, my oldest sister got married. She is almost 14 years older than me. She had been like a mother to me and I can still feel the loss I felt then. My bond had been with her, not my mother. My Mom had no understanding of the abandonment I felt and didn’t react well when tears of doubt (that my parents loved me) and fear came. Her words of “If you don’t stop that I will give you something to cry about” still echo in my ears………53 years later. Thank God, my sister is still with me and we have a good relationship.

    • Marcella Rich says:

      Brenda your Words resinate with me. I have the same feelings. Felt I was worthless when I got sick and lost my job. Son gone living on own, doubting husband loved me. Fear everyone would leave me like my brother and father. Need to say yes to everyone because I’m afraid they will not be my friend any longer. My sister is also who my strongest bond is with. She was always there for me when my Mom wasn’t. Need to learn to lean on God and not myself. Thanks for sharing.

  79. I have struggled with confidence my entire life. At a young age, I was told by my mother that I was not pretty enough, smart enough, loved enough or just simply enough to have the things I want in life. I wasn’t pretty enough or graceful enough to be a ballerina. I wasn’t pretty enough to get married. I wasn’t smart enough to get into college or have the job I wanted. Then when I got married, I wasn’t good enough to keep my husband and he wouldn’t be faithful because I’m not pretty enough. Then I became a mother and somehow, that was the only place in my life that I had confidence, but when I became pregnant with my second child, my mother asked me if I would love my oldest child as much as the new child. Would I remember the oldest child was there? Would I love them equally? This was new territory for me so I began to doubt that I would love them equally. Then once my second son was born, my mother asked if I was feeding him enough. Am I spending enough time with my oldest? Am I keeping up on my house work? Then the Lord lead me to Homeschooling, and then I was asked why…. Then told I wasn’t smart enough to teach my children. I honestly do not know how I continued my faith in God or how I managed to continue to do what I felt God was telling me was right, but I have and I continue. Now my husband is unemployed and has been looking for work for the last 6 months. I found work at church working daycare for Mops bible study mom’s and I am able to still homeschool my 3 boys (7, 5, and 2 years old) and I can have my children with me when I work. But I doubted my ability to do this church job and I feared going and there are days when I still fear going. But I keep going and trying to grow in my confidence in Christ so that my boys don’t know the self doubt and worldly doubt and all other doubt I struggle with in being a woman, wife and mother. I’m thankful the Lord has lead me to this study so that I may be able to walk my talk and show my boys what true confidence in Christ looks like and pass it on to them in the way is was not passed on to me.

  80. Erica Davidson says:

    I graduated a year ago with a degree in Christian Ministry and Leadership, and had a baby a few months later. The part that hit home the most was when you talk about not having what it takes to be a good Mom. I question this EVERY DAY. I know I have what it takes, but my doubt just gets the best of me. The next part that hit the most was when you said, “Or maybe you’ve sensed God calling you to serve Him in a way that requires steps of faith, but insecurity has convinced you that you’re not smart enough or gifted enough.” (21)

    I have always wanted to start a Christian non-profit that benefits families with children that have autism. I know it will take a lot of work and a lot of money (to get it started). However, I also know that if this is what my calling is, God will help me through it and will allow the doubts to be pushed aside as I see the final product.

    I am beyond excited to do this study. My Mom and I are doing it together and I am so excited. I have the worst self esteem and have little confidence when it comes to life, so this is PERFECT!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • I hear you about the doubts of being a new mom. My girl is 11 months and we became pregnant with her basically a week after we were married. Learning how to be a wife and a mom at the same time leaves room for lots of doubts!

  81. Many things stood out to me in chapter one. But on pg 22, “You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back towards the light”, was one of the more significant sentences to me. I have struggled all my life with feeling like a failure and feeling that I am not good at anything. These worthless feelings have paralyzed me from living life. I too have “avoided some great opportunities because they brought the risk of rejection”, but now I am a mother. Having a family, being a wife and mother is a dream come true. Not just being a wife and mother, but being married to my husband in particular is something I never thought would happen. I never felt worthy enough to be in a healthy loving faithful relationship. And now that I have two wonderful children, a girl and a boy, I want better for them. I don’t want to give them insecurity, worthlessness, lack of confidence. But I struggle to break the cycle because I don’t have confidence. I’ve tried for so long to do it in my own strength, so when I read those words on pg 22, a light went off. I cannot do this, I cannot fix myself, I must surrender to the One who can. I realize I will fail sometimes, I will succeed sometimes, but my confidence must be in and remain in Christ, not myself. He will provide the confidence, He will guide me in my steps as a mother, He will comfort me when I fail. I don’t have to do it myself, and I don’t have to drive my family crazy with my neediness, because they can’t fill that empty worthless hole in my heart. Only God can fill it. I am really looking forward to this bible study and sharing with all of you struggling in similar ways. I am looking forward to claiming victory over this stronghold in my life. At the end of this study, I pray we can all shout that God has done a new thing in us!

  82. Dawn Marie says:

    The part that spoke to me the most from Ch. 1 was
    “As God’s girls, we need to know and believe that change is possible. We need to hope that life can be different . Otherwise, doubt will win every time and our hearts will be eroded by attitudes and emotions of defeat–but it is not supposed to be this way.” (p. 23)

    I was so happy to see you were leading a study on your book. I did the online study of A Confident Heart with Melissa Taylor a couple of years ago and it made a huge impact on my life, spurring me on to continue growing in the Lord. Unfortunately, after drifting backwards over the past several months, I find myself once again “stuck” – immobilized by doubt and fear.
    This study could not have come at a better time for me!

  83. nancy kimball says:

    I have read all of the responses and I know that the Lord makes all things possible and he who believes will have all things delivered to him. Self doubt is the enemies weapon against all of us, but our God is for us and he is going to equip and empower us to conquer our Goliath. He sees he knows. He cares. And he has come to set us free. We’ll be doing the faith work of not only believing in God, but really believing God. God created the longing space in al of us. He (God)is the only one that can fill the empty space in our lives. The prayers you have put in the book I have read and reread them over and over . Being the middle child I never felt love. On my mothers death bed she told me I was her favorite daughter . My sister died at 17 yrs of age . Three yrs ago I lost my husband after he was in the hospital for 6 months. Being a nurse I knew he would be a vegetable which was not what he wanted by any means. I requested to the nurses that they take him off life support and let him die with dignity.
    Having nursed for 38 yrs + and I have gone through the ups and downs of life. I have lost all my family and my aunts and uncles and have seen all the things that can happen to a person. I have had back surgery and have been reborn and have the ability to help people who have a need or have a prayer request. I have nursed in every field of nursing and have been able to tune in to the Lord and help others by praying for them and helping them. I can tell if a person has a need before they even speak to me and I can tell while talking on the phone that a person has a need before they even tell me. I pray and meditate every day and let the Lord in to help me. I know he is there and he will come to me when I have a need and will stop me when a person has a need as well. I have faith in the Lord and know he will come to all of us. I pray that things will be as he wills them to be and to help me as I journey down his path. We all must have faith and believe and we will rise above. As my mother said live every day as if it were the last. One never knows if they will wake up tomorrow.
    Praise the Lord and he will come to all of you and help you.
    I still have times of insecurity but I am rising above them and learning to deal with the feelings of insecurity and hopelessness.
    We have to be still and let God in. He will come to us as we journey down the path to his kingdom.

  84. “Doubt and Hope can not live in our hearts at the same time” So many areas God has worked on and given me hope in my life and yet there seems to be many areas left that have such a cloud of doubt over them. As God has convinced me over the last few years that I am valuable and loved by Him and has began giving me vision for life and ministry the doubt or unconfidence of being capable of living out what Hes put on my heart has crept right in. The title of the book grabbed my attention and Im very excited for the Journey.

  85. Page 20 It was getting old….repeated history…UGH! So tired of all the doubt I’ve had in my life. and page 23 good at hiding my doubts…I’m so ready to wear that permanent mask of Confidence. Praise God for Renee’s teachings and allowing me to go on this journey and thank you Morgan for directing me to it.

  86. I also want to thank all the moms sharing your insecurities as a mom and wife. I feel this is the greatest calling on my life, but it is the area I feel the most like a failure. I never feel like a good mom. I also feel that as a stay at home mom, makes me feel less than others. And when I thought about homeschooling, well the crazy just went off in me….panic attack time. I don’t yet know if I’m capable of homeschooling, but that brings on more feelings of being a failure. Like if I’m not strong enough, smart enough, sane enough to homeschool, then here I am, failing again. God, please help me.

  87. Eveline Maciag says:

    I want to reiterate the “Thank You”. As you can tell from the others that have responded, there is such a need for this type of encouragement and help. In most, if not all, cases the world is so hard to live in on a daily basis that those of us who follow God’s word get beat down worse than those that do not. It’s like a mob mentality! And for those of us having a day (all of us at one time or another) of self-doubt, this beat down can be quite difficult to try and recover.
    Thank you for being the women that you are and following God’s calling to step out and encourage and help those in need.

  88. I have always lived with doubt and insecurity- the earliest memories I have of struggling with this were in grade school. Never feeling good enough. Never being a part of the “in” crowd and never really feeling like I would amount to anything. I struggle to understand where these feelings came from since I grew up in a lovely Christian home and was never made to feel worthless or useless. I was loved. These feelings of insecurity continued into high school and college. Never felt I was good enough for any man. Never thought I had the smarts to have a good paying career…etc. My life was filled with anxiety and fear. I am hoping as I go through the pages of Renee’s book….I will learn to put my security and faith in WHO I AM in CHRIST. I am sure this will be a hard- emotional – journey for me…but one I must face.

  89. I started this study with a prayer for God to show me doubt in my life, some I knew about. But then as I was reading through the first chapter I realized a huge doubt that I have been living in the shadow of….a doubt many women have…I doubt that I am not loveable. I have been searching for years trying to understand why I have a deep desire to get married and have a family that will glorify God and show the world that a Godly marriage and kids is possible. But yet it never happened for me. This revelation hit me like a slap in the face. Me not loveable? I work so hard to get along with people and to be their friend and to support and encourage those in my life. How could I not be loveable? But then it hit me….I do the actions and people do like me but I’m not confident in my qualities to truly think I am loveable. It may be as a result of rejection I experienced as a kid or the rejection I have experience in my adult life not being able to connect with others, loosing friends and being rejected after 1st dates before they had a chance to really get to know me….obviously I am not loveable like others. Although it’s a painful to begin to understand this about myself, I am thankful that God spoke to me with this so I can begin to work to find confidence that I am loveable and one day, someone other than my family will love me and I can recognize it.

    • Becky W says:

      Beautiful Rachel, someone other than your family already loves you, He has loved you since before your were twinkle in His eye! I have struggled for years with not feeling deserving of His love but spending time in prayer and with other Christian women who love me has helped alot! I will send up a prayer right now in your honor, asking for God to touch you in a loving way that you will know it is He and your are loved. Blessings.

  90. ‘These are the voices of insecurity that cast shadows of doubt over our perspective and keep us from becoming the women we want to beโ€”the women God created us to be. Self-doubt blocks the promise of Godโ€™s power and truth to change us from the inside out so that we can live with a confident heart.’ These words so describe me – I want to be the woman God created me to be, but I can’t. That’s what rings in my head. He has not left me, but I have stepped away. To lazy to put Him first, to tired to do what I need to do to get right with God. He loves me, but I allow such negative thoughts to tear me away from the relationship I want and need.
    I am ready, ready to start the challenge to have the confident heart I need to continue my relationship with God. To build on it to discover his will and purpose in my life. Thank you Renee!

  91. So excited to be part of this bible study. Outwardly appear very confident, but inside am driven by fear and worry. Continue to meditate on Christ’s words to strengthen me. Husband has left my son and I, and I have put off going to an attorney because of fears, doubts, and lack of confidence. Hoping to get the strength to overcome this divorce hurdle and move forward.

    • Felicia Hepburn says:

      I am prayin for you!! Have been down the divorce path, but without Christ. I am praying and glad you are on this journey!!

  92. Good Morning, first may I say, tho I know there will many different reasons for each of us to be here, I so truly hope and pray that these amazing ladies continue to help each of us
    I am 60, a widow near 2 years a Mother of 2 bright and simply wonderful daughters and blessed with five blood grand children and one grand daughter by choice who is allowing me to became a great grandma for the first time very soon…I am blessed and continue to receive blessings every day…I am loved by God… but some how I am now falling apart…I feel less than worthy , useless and un wanted…not by my daughters nor even grands but I simply feel inadequate in aspect of life… most days… my 18 month old grand daughter named FAITH is my heartbeat… I want to watch her grow and share her JOY …but even in that I am just not the woman I used to be …

    Please pray I can find my way back to not only God but my place in HIS will
    I want to be better… as a Mother, and grandma, a friend~ I am really lacking there ~ a sister to 2 amazing brothers that preach Gods word, and as a servant to GOD…
    see NO ONE is sheltered, we all can fall or get lost

  93. I am really struggling in wondering whether or not this study can make a difference in my life, as I feel I am beyond help. I know the enemy is going to attack me and try to make me give up before I’ve begun, so I hope someone will be praying for me to not give up.
    At this point, I don’t even have the confidence to speak as I don’t think anything I would have to say is of any worth to anyone. I’ve read what you all have said here so far, and I have nothing of any worth to share.
    I have been this way pretty much my entire life, and I am 60 years old. But I am going to try to hold on to the promises of God and claim them for myself.
    Thank you Renee, for sharing and for being obedient to the call of God.

    • Your thoughts, opinions and words are worth sharing! You may never know what impact you will make if you don’t share! I can say this because I have felt the same way. I keep my mouth shut because – who would want to hear what I have to say? At times I would tell my husband what I had thought about saying and he says – “you should have shared! You always have good things to say!” Satan is attacking you and you are worth so much. You said you are 60… well I turn 30 in a couple months and I know that you have life wisdom and God wisdom that only you could share to help someone like me. God loves you so!

    • First thing is not speaking words of condemnation on yourself. There is life and death in the power of the tongue so don’t even speak defeat. It’s time to show the enemy that he no longer has control over your mind and that you are going to be victorious this time. Just because something has always been a certain way does not mean that it has to stay that way. Every battle begins in the mind. I will be praying for the Lord to keep you and I pray that you will allow this online study and book to minister to your situation. You are not apart of this by chance. The Lord is trying to pull you out of this downward spiral you are in and wants to see you be the confident woman he knows that you can be.

    • Cheryl, as I read through the responses here I have been trying to decide whether or not to post anything because I wonder what difference it will make. But after reading your post I decided that whatever we have to say is worth something. If God thinks we are worthy, then we must be, right? So let’s make a promise that we will both post something anytime we are moved to do so. Deal?!

    • Lesley Edwards says:

      Bless you Cheryl. You so do have things to say that are worth hearing, and I pray that God will show you that through this study. You are not alone in feeling the way you do – we’re all in this together! Bless you for sharing so honestly and I know that God will honour that and longs to show you just how precious you are to him. Don’t give up – keep going!

  94. “You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light”

    “…how quickly they (the depressing thoughts) weasel their way into our minds and disguise their voices to sound like ours. Sometimes we agree with them and they become our own.”

    I didn’t used to realize that I had turned away from the light and so when these obtrusive thoughts began to consume me and I struggled with panic attacks, I began to question whether or not God loved me; after all, the voice would say, if I were really God’s child, would I be feeling this way? Since then, I have WRESTLED with this…and I have been bloodied in battle, gently mended back up and comforted by the Lord…only to wander right back out onto that battlefield…etc…. it has oftentimes felt like something that I have been unable to control. The sneaky thing that the enemy does, is disguise his voice to sound like our own…and then make us question ourselves in light of who he is. Of course his voice is condemning and blasphemous…he is God’s enemy. If he can get us to believe that his voice is our own…it can get ugly. What I long for, is a day where I can see everything through the filter of who HE is and who I am because I am HIS. My heart needs to catch up to what I know…and some beautiful days it does…oh how it does, and these are the days that keep my hope alive for the dark nights!
    This is extreme, I know ๐Ÿ™ It all started out as insecurity though, so going back to the root and pulling it out seems the right way to go.
    I am going to school for Christian counseling, so I understand that God allows this battle to continue with the expectancy of beauty from these ashes in order to equip me for what I will inevitably come across when this ministry begins. I have questioned my calling more than once thinking how on earth will I ever be able to help struggling Christians with the amount of baggage that I myself am carrying? When the clarity returns though, I know that this is precisely the REASON He called me into this ministry:

    “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” โ€“ 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

    P.S.- I no longer struggle with panic attacks the way I did initially. It’s as if the more intense the struggle becomes, i become more and more capable of functioning in spite of it…like learning to live without a limb maybe, if that makes any sense. I only add that in, because if someone reading this struggles with panic attacks..which make life seem pretty hopeless at times, I don’t want you to believe the lie that they won’t ever go away. They used to control my entire life. I couldn’t even leave the house for a very long time.

  95. Resonated: I highlighted about praying God’s word and about choosing to dwell in the assurance of whose I am.
    No big stories of confidence robbing or throwing away, but tons of little ones!
    As I (re)read this chapter I was freed from the discouragement for a time, and two insights for my dual god-sized dream (see Holley Gerth) and my word for the year (dependently) bubbled up. The first was about the organization of a book project I’ve had in mind for maybe 20 years, the second was about our church plant that started in January and I shared that idea immediately with my husband.
    I’ve been a self-rejecting writer who hasn’t trusted enough to be fully generous with the joy God gives her.
    I resonate with your truths and am loving the assignments/deadlines organization you’re providing. I started your book last fall when I flew across the country two weeks in a row: to be at the bedside and the funeral of a dying friend who asked me to give a eulogy and told me, “You can do it, Beth, you’re a pretty good writer, just write from your heart.” Perhaps the first chapter cut through the dark clouds preparing me to hear her words of true life giving compliment and act on them. Now I’m ready to work through the whole book with your help of assignments and time of discussion.
    Thanking God!

  96. Madison says:

    I too was hit by the sentence on page 21. “Perhaps you have prayed since you were a little girl to be a mother, and here you are with kids, doubting you have what it takes to be a good mom.” I’m almost 7 months pregnant with our first child, my husband and I had prayed for this time since we got married 3 years ago, and I’ve always said being a mother is what is my ultimate calling. But now, here I am scared out of my mind thinking maybe God made a mistake by giving me children, maybe I’m not called to be a mother and how will I teach them to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind and strength when I struggle with that on a daily basis.
    I’ve always struggled with self confidence and the woman God made me, although many would say I hide it well. For the past 20 years I’ve struggled with stuttering and although God has blessed me with every support system imaginable, I still feel I am too flawed to be the woman God wants me to be. I graduated from a good college, married a loving man, and serve in a church where I feel called, but I still feel like I am failing because of the things I didn’t do. And now that I am almost a mother, I feel I will fail at this too. Haunted by questions like, how will I read the bible to my children, how will I discipline them, what will their friends think of me, will they be teased because their mom stutters and so many others. I know God’s promises and trust in His plans, but I feel like I’m being held back unable to believe them.
    I’ve had this book in my nightstand almost a year and now this is God’s answer to my fears, I pray I can dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in Him, to have a confident heart. (page 24) Thank you Renee for having the confidence to share your journey, you are a blessing to everyone here!

    • Christina Beebe says:

      Madison – God made and loves you just the way you are! You are a beautiful creation! You are going to be a Great Mommy! You prayed for this child and God has answered your prayers! He will guide you – just listen for his voice! I will pray for you!

  97. Cindi W says:

    I will at times let fear take over and not try something new because I don’t think I can do it. And I really do want to do it. If I don’t do it, I get mad at myself later for not even trying. And when I do take a challenge, I say see you can do this, no big deal. I need to learn to fight back the fear and doubt that stand in my way. I so look forward to sharing in this group and learning to trust God to give me more confidence in living the life he gave me. ๐Ÿ™‚

  98. The thing that hit me the most was in the prayer… “and I am no longer one who shrinks back and is destroyed, but one who believes and is saved!” Ever since an incident in elementary school, I have always felt I need to get out of the way (shrink back) and at times haven’t opened my mouth or done things that I should have. I feel like even now I’m trying really hard and don’t know how to get my relationship with God back to where it has been but then I read… “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” God works… not I work. Praying that this block I feel I have on my heart is lifted.

  99. I’m so glad that you have shared this book. I am a college student and ive been struggling with self doubt since ive started college. I cant find my niche and I feelย  as if im not smart enough or talented enough to do certain majors so I end up changing my major. A lot of the time I feel lonely because I just transferred to a new university and nothing seems to go right. I feel like im always beingย  taken advantage of because im a nice person. Most of the time i feel like an outcast because I’m an introverted person. I’m hoping that I can stop looking for acceptance of others and look for acceptance in Christ. Please pray for me because I want to be successful in life and I fear failure because I feel as if im not good enough.ย 

    • God – show Jasmine the woman that she is and the talent that she has. Show her the plan you have for her and help her to rely on you to fulfill it!

  100. ChristiP06 says:

    Thank you so much for this study. I have the problem of trusting people too much and forgetting to trust God. That coupled with the fact that my income has decreased by 75% in the past 10 years leaves me feeling like I’m not worth being employed with companies. A situation like that makes you feel like a total failure at life. I recently completed a 6 week course to get my Class A CDL along with specialty endorsements. Now I’m out of school and back to driving school bus. I am applying for jobs and getting hit with, “you don’t have enough experience”, “you’re too old” (I’m 53 years old).

    I’m looking for this study to bolster my faith in God to guide my life and to make me a shining example of his grace and his love.

    • Jasmine Im praying for you!!! God reveal to her the direction you want her to go. Jasmine DO NOT believe satan lies, he is of confusion. God is about truth, mediate on his word and he will reveal what he wants for you in His time. Although you have changed your major, think about all you have learned. All we do will be honoring to are GOD when seeking Him. I will be praying for a christian friend for you.

  101. Jocelyn Keith says:

    I have had a desire on my heart for over a year. It seems so impossible. For me the first chapter God spoke to me. Praise God! There has been so many discouraging times throughout this year and I have asked many times for Him to take the desire away. He confirms to me to keep praying, trust, His timing, and be patient. This first chapter and the bible verses in it have been a HUGE blessing to me today! Glory to God!

    • Polly Blaylock says:

      Thanks Renee for this on-line bible study. Although I feel I have been healing from being a people pleaser for nearly 40 years, I still fall back into people pleasing when I don’t get into God’s word enough and trust him for all things and not rely on the world to tell me what my worth is. Being raised in an alcoholic home (my father is an alcoholic), my insecurities were huge when it came to feeling like my father loved me unconditionally. But I know now that my Heavenly Father loves me no matter what. Thanks again for sharing your book and I look forward to learning more and growing more confident through Christ. Praise his Holy Name!

  102. Michele F says:

    I am not one to post comments on blogs but after reading chapter one and coming to the first question I pondered for a couple moments and began to cry. The question to answer was ‘What was your earliest memory of doubting yourself or feeling insecure?”…well I thought it was my first swimming lesson, but I heard a little voice in my heart say what about when you were about 4 and were lost in that department store? The tears began to flow, you see I was with my biological father and his new wife when I lost them in a department store. I began crying and calling for him, I couldn’t find him anywhere….a store clerk eventually found me and brought me to the cashiers desk at the front of the store. They asked my name and being 4 I had a speech impediment and couldn’t pronounce my last name correctly. I was terrified I would be left alone when the lady said the wrong name over the loudspeaker….I screamed ‘No!!!! It’s Michele Becker not Michele Buckle….’ my mouth couldn’t pronounce Becker only Buckle. I was hysterical with fear. Finally my ‘father’ came and got me. This memory triggered other memories that led to his eventual abandonment when I was 7. I was somewhat of a tomboy and when I would visit him on the weekends his wife would immediately run me a bath and tell me I was filthy-like I said I was a tomboy busy climbing trees and digging for worms in the dirt. I remember one time having a blemish on my cheek and she kept squeezing it and scrubbing my face with a washcloth-it hurt! She took me shopping to buy new clothes…since she was Scottish she bought me Scottish tartan skirts, crisp white blouses and patent navy blue shoes…beautiful but not who I was. This memory has been stifled for over 35 years but upon pondering the first question of chapter one I see I never felt good enough to be loved by my own father. I’ve always doubted peopled’s love and struggled with the fear of rejection. Praise the Lord He is my father who will never leave me nor forsake me.

  103. What speaks to me most is on page 23, “As God’s girls, we need to know and believe that change is possible. We need to hope that life can be different.” I know that it can but sometimes it is just really hard to believe.

    • Tina, it is difficult to believe at times, but we must remember that with God all things are possible. Praying for you as you begin your journey.

  104. The negative phrases, such as, you’ll never be good enough seem like dรฉjร  vu. I seem to hear that and others daily in my thoughts. The prayer really brings home the heart of Jesus and what I need to remember first and foremost. I am re-writing the prayer and pitting it on my fridge as a continual reminder!

  105. Thank you for this great study and for all the many wonderful ladies who are part of it, Praying that the Lord will richly bless each one of us and give us a confident heart. I really struggle with confidence when dealing with my own family (parents & siblings) W’e attend a different church then they do and it seems to really have put a distance between us and anything we do is wrong, I feel ‘fake’ being a Christian around them – that doesn’t really sound right but it’s like we are being judged by them…. I know in my heart that we must do all to God’s honor and glory but it’s hard when you feel like you’ve offended them but know that if you did anything any different I’d be offending God. So that part of being in front of the mirror really moved my heart. This has been a struggle I’ve had for many years. I really notice it because my husbands family is a strong Christian family, we have a real Christian church family that we are close with and that is all missing in my extended family . I know only God can fill this void in my heart but I have a hard time giving it all over… please pray that being in God’s Word, in prayer and part of this study will help over come that. Praying that whatever area each of you struggle with too that the Lord will fill that void. Thanks for ‘listening’!

  106. “But I’ve found that when I choose to dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in Him, I have a confident heart.”. Love that sentence & I need to remind myself of Whose I am.

  107. The sentence that really got to me was, “Although you’ve been miserable, at least misery is familiar where you are now.” I currently live in a city I hate, but God moved me here for my job. I am extremely unhappy here (don’t like the environment, place, behaviors of people, the commute), but I am too scared to leave and move back to the city I love without a job. The job hunt has materialized into nothing. So as tough as it is being here, I stay here out of fear! Fear of the unknown, fear of living by faith without a job for a while. So I stick with being miserable because of fear. A friend once said, “until you get sick and tired of being sick and tired, you will not do anything about it.” She is so right!

    The doubting whispers are so true and sometimes they are not whispers, but actual people who speak into your life, loudly and constantly. Often they speak from their own personal fears and which we allow to shatter your confidence.

    I love Philippians 3:12-14 and am trying to live by it daily, “Not that I have already obtained this or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (NIV)

    Although I have only read chapter one of the book, I am so looking forward to the rest of the book and our online discussions. Thank you Renee for stepping out in confidence to write this book and share it with all of us!

  108. What a blessing, reading the thoughts of so many sisters in Christ! Thank you, Jesus, for this community of believers, and for Renee’s heart to share with others what you have taught her.

    There are a lot of highlighted passages in my Chapter 1, but of particular importance to me includes:’

    1) pg 24, “…believing Him by relying on the power of His words and living like they are true no matter what my feelings tell me. and …when I choose to dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in Him, I have a confident heart.” and …”let His Word change the way you think, which will determine the way you feel and eventually transform the way you live (Rom. 12:2)”

    I have been “walking in the valley” with the Lord for about a year following a time of spiritual drought, and He has shown me that my belief and my actions need not be, should not be, determined by my feelings. My feelings can change in a heartbeat, with a tone of voice, or a fluctuation of hormones:-) They are not to be my compass! I am learning to trust Him for meeting my needs, as He is the only one who truly can, and to believe that I am who He says that I am ~ fearfully and wonderfully made, precious, a child of the King! But to know what He says about me, and about Himself, I have to be reading the Word! So, I have been making my Bible reading a priority in my day, learning to dwell in the Word; not as duty or evidence or proof of my faith; not because “good Christians read their Bible”; but as the absolute essential food to nourish my otherwise starving soul! I can’t yet say that I read my Bible every day, but I no longer count that a failure. I count it a success that I am reading my Bible at all, and God is awakening my heart to how life-giving it is.

    2) pg 25 from Romans 10:17: “faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ”, so let’s pray these promises out loud again and again.”

    The word of God is powerful, and spoken aloud it adds a new level of impact for me. If faith comes from “hearing”, reading God’s word aloud, speaking God’s truth to myself, and preaching the Gospel to myself will be increasing my faith, even when I can’t tell!

  109. I long to have a confident heart! I am so very excited to see how God is going to change me during this study. You had mentioned you are a small group kind of girl….. I pray that during this study I will be able to attend a small group in my church and not feel insecure. Too many big voices telling me I am not as smart as other woman attending,not thin enough or pretty enough. The thought of attending small group makes me so nervous that it is not possible to do so. My amazing husband would love for us to join a group. It makes me sad to not be able to do this with him. All things are possible! I have open heart and hands as I begin this study with you Renee and others online.

  110. Kristina Allen says:

    The sentence that spoke to me the most was on page 22. Renee said, “Self-doubt blocks the promise of God’s power and truth to change us from the inside out so that we can live with a confident heart.”
    I really need this. I’m always asking God to show me what He wants me to do, but then I doubt if I can even hear Him. I hope that this study helps me to hear God.

  111. Ferehiwot 'Tati' Michael says:

    Hello Reneee. I enjoyed the chapter, and felt encouraged by your godly advices and revelations God had imparted in you that you shared in this chapter.

    Yes, I too suffer with doubt often. It has A lot to do with my past, but I know my redeemer will redeem my life story and write a new story in my heart beginning with a confident heart.

    I am too hard on myself and most often want everything to look A OK before going on with (especially wen it come to making a decision) I have to make. And, when things don’t go the way I would expect them to go, I fall into fearing my path which leads to doubt. I am afraid of taking risks due to that. However, I have seen God come through each and every time thus blessing my soul and increasing my awareness of HIS presence with me at all times. Example: when I suffer with doubts especially with remembering the WORD of God, and If my testimony or my advice would even benefit anyone, the Lord has always come through in a mighty way reminding me a verse and a chapter in the Bible (take note, I don’t even read my Bible often), and blessing someone mightily through me.

    What you wrote on Pg 22, when you said “Have you ever agreed with the whispers of doubt and found yourself living with a sense of discouragement and defeat? YES YES YES, and….I am ashamed to say it has somewhat immobilized me to move forward in live, and causing me to become fearful of the world around me.

    **Yes, it is my goliath that I have to conquer, and I trust reading this book and memorizing in the verses given and praying and having an intimate conversation with my FATHER will help me overcome it**

    Thanks again for doing this study. May God continue to be glorified thru you.


  112. Jill S. DeBose says:

    The first few paragraphs grabbed my inner spirit. Two issues named in those few paragraphs, provided clarification of some of my hesitations when working in ministry. I have great self doubt and uncertainty. This comes from spending too much time focusing on man and not enough time with God. God has major plans for me and I feel it in my spirit, but that self-doubt is so troubling. I am ready to release the weights Satan is pulling me down with and do what is in God’s will for me, according to His purpose.

  113. Tiffany says:

    The foreword really spoke to me. As a child I longed to feel loved. As a teenager, I longed for love and attention as well. Sometimes, I resorted to not so good ways of getting that attention. I have had failures and loss along the way. I started renewing my faith in June of last year. I have not had the opportunity to read the first chapter yet but I know I am meant to do this study because when I read the foreword, I thought this is me! I am looking forward to this.

  114. Barbara says:

    The paragraphs about seeing your shadow on page 21 of Chapter 1caught my attention. The part where you said your shadow of doubt had become larger than what you doubted – yourself really spoke to me. I have struggled with self-doubt and insecurity since I was a small child. I know that shadow of doubt became much bigger than who I doubted – myself. I have learned that when I doubt myself, I am really doubting God. The scriptures in Chapter 1 were just what I needed to read. I rewrote them so I can refer to them again and again. I am looking forward to the rest of this book. Chapter 1 could have been my story.

  115. Angie Lewis says:

    I loved the part about not only believing in God but believing Him, relying on the power of His word in my everyday life, that living like His word is truth no matter what my feelings are. THIS is where I want to be and I know it’s a day to day struggle so to speak. How great it feels on the days I can walk with God and pull this off!!!! I too loved the praying Gods word part and have done it, need to do it more. Especially love Phil 4:6-7 cause I have got to let go to Him for th e peace and the wisdom that I know only He can give. I’m looking forward to stepping even more out of the shadow of doubt and gaining a more confident heart!!!!

  116. What spoke the me the most was “Yet, doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time.” It wasn’t until I read this sentence that i realized that I have been doubting that God will send the right man into my life. I definitely hope and trust that he will. But I never thought I doubted he would. Now I see that I have been doubting Him and I refuse to doubt Him any longer. ๐Ÿ™‚

  117. I have been so lost for so long and although I started Renee’s book earlier this month, I continue to put myself in a vulnerable position with a man who doesn’t love himself. Not once, but twice, and again for a third time. I have listened to God’s words which I am slowly beginning to believe, but it comes with many tears and frustrations. I said goodbye this am and was confident in my decision until the loneliness and heartache rears it’s ugly head again. I know I have done the right thing for me and for him, but it still hurts therefore I am starting over yet again. Hopefully this book, blog and study will help me. As well as my dog, Emma, who needs to be walked and loed whether I feel like it or not! ๐Ÿ™‚

  118. I It’s nice to know I’m not alone, I’m tired of living an unvictorious christian life. I’m in the process of climbing out of a pit of despair. I slipped from doubting to despondency into despair with a lot of help from those who should’ve loved me the most (Christian church going family, my family of origin.) I’ve been betrayed, mocked for my weakness, told to submit when everything in me said RUN, I’ve been so angry, hurt, and rejected…this from my family. Its most difficult when Satan uses your family designed by God to try to destroy you. He’s ever so cunning isn’t he and such a counterfeit! The culmination of this is a 5 year( ongoing)struggle with my health with significant physical pain and a diagnosis( finally) of Lupus which attacked my nerves killing them slowly and terrible joint pain..resulting in a TOTAL surrender to God I might add ( take that Satan!). He broke me so he could begin something new. He kept telling me to forget the old, see I am doing a new thing. He demolished Everything so He could build a new on the Correct foundation of Jesus Chris tearing down any stronghold or thoughts that occupied my mind that where not of Him…what HE thought of me, how precious I am, how loved I am. The result is trusting in God’s sovereignty . Do we or don’t we….really believe he wants good for us in our worst night mare. See I want the true things of God not pat Sunday school answers …In pursuit of HIM. Remember in the midst of our suffering CHOSE to willfully and whole heartedly ponder the Lords goodness and PRAISE him. “They have greatly oppressed me from my youth, but they have not gained victory over me. Plowmen have plowed my back and made their furrow long. BUT the Lord IS righteous he has cut me free from the cords of the wicked Psalm 129:2-4 From my heart to yours I’m here with all of you working and praying with my sisters. ” Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble.

  119. Jer. 17:7 – not only are we to trust “in” the LORD, but to trust the LORD. I knew that in my head, but in reading it and answering the questions, it reached a heart level – because God IS trustworthy- He is in control, I don’t need to give in to fear, & I can walk confidently, knowing that He knows what is best for my heart – regardless of what I think of the situation & will bring me through whatever He brings to me.

  120. I read chapter 1 and found that what resonated most with me was the idea of doubting our calling. I am a dancer and have danced in competition and performance for many years. In the last 15-17 years I have begun to do sacred dance in prayer, praise and worship to our Lord. It has not always been met with enthusiasm and I have come to rely more on the opinions of others than what my heart hears from God. But He is so faithful and led me to a church that not only invites me to share what He is telling me, but ladies there want to learn how to praise God with their whole being including with dance. God faithfully provided me with an education in storytelling through dance and He has equipped me with all I need. Still, honestly, some days when people tell me that this is not a true gift from God, or they accuse me of showing off or even roll their eyes and say, “Oh brother,” I shrink and I hurt and I think, “Okay, I am on the wrong bus here.” Then a song comes on or a story or a scripture and boom God gives me a vision and I am up and sharing, dancing and teaching. My main problem, is I really care what others think. That erodes my confidence more than anything else.

  121. Pretty much everything in this first chapter I could relate to in your story….even down to putting on my mascara with mouth wide opened….lolol. What resonated with my heart the most were the things you spoke about on pgs 21-23….the things that doubt whispers to us and how it causes our thoughts to be distorted with confusion and questions. As far back as I can remember, I’ve listened to these whispers and have come to believe them to be true. This is going to be a long hard road to travel to change this area in my life (my thought patterns) but I’m determined to do it as I know these whispers are only lies straight from the pit of hell. And I know, according to God’s Word, that my perseverance will be rewarded! I have trust issues as a result of listening to the whispers of doubt and this has affected my trust in the Lord as well. My desire to achieve through this study is knowing that I can trust God completely…..even with the little things in my life. I am a graduate of a Bible College so I know Gods Word pretty well….having said that, the one thing I’ve never put into practice is reading his Word “out loud” and that is something that I am starting to do….especially with verses that speak directly to my heart….so my ears can hear His Word and drown out the lies that satan keeps trying to feed me!

  122. Linda S. says:

    Thank u Renee. I’ve come 2 a point in my life where I need 2 start healing & break free of the doubts & unworthiness that I have let people & the devil put in me. This is just the Bible study I need. God’s blessed me with the opportunity 2 go back 2 school at my age. The old devil puts all those doubts back in there. My life started out with sexual abuse & my family making me feel like I was not worthy of the right kind of love. My parents gave my brothers & me away @ an early age. So I always felt unloved. Have always tried 2 please & take care of everyone else. Always thought God didn’t love me either cause if He did where was He when all that bad stuff happened. About 3yrs. ago I found a church that has taught me bout God. I study every day. I pray all the time. But still feel like I’m not worthy of something good 2 happen 2 me.I really want 2 know & feel that verse Romans 8:28. I pray with this study & everyone’s prayers & feedback those doubts will disappear. God Bless u all.!

  123. Barbara R. says:

    It’s wonderful to be participating in an online bible study with all of you beautiful, godly women sharing your struggles and encouraging your sisters in Christ with wise and uplifting biblical counsel!
    What resonated with me was: “His truth waters us, sustains us, breathes new life into us and remakes us into the women He always intended us to be.” Many times my daily busyness of work, housework, errands, emails, internet, etc. take priority over spending time reading the Bible (the Truth, His Word). It makes sense now why during those times I feel parched, tired, empty and not who I was intended to be. Like a plant, I need his Truth to “water” me so I can grow and flourish. I need to work on consistency – making time in the Word and with Him my first and highest priority, and not allowing the “cares of this world” to distract/sidetrack me. My prayer is that the Lord will use this online study to help me develop the consistency I so desperately need, as I feel I am an easily distracted person in this area. Praying for all of us to be victorious over every struggle and to enjoy God’s richest blessings!

  124. KellyRay says:

    I love the hope in this statement- “When we pray God’s words out loud, and hear them, the Holy Spirit engraves them on our hearts and writes them in our thoughts. We internalize God’s truths as our faith grows and we are transformed from the inside out!” – We can all pray God’s words and hear them. This is actually possible by everyone.. it’s not too expensive, it’s not too time consuming, we don’t have to drive 100 miles to do it! Praise God for meeting us right where we are!

    My ultimate goal – each time I have uncertainty I will choose hope instead of doubt. (transformation)
    My goal for this week is to give myself the tools to help this become a reality. ” Read God’s word, Pray God’s word, allow the Holy Spirit to engrave them on my heart and write them in my thoughts”.

  125. I love the remark someone said about not running away from things, but running to HIM, thanks, good instruction!

    • Yes! In church on Easter Sunday, the words on the screen said–” It’s not what you are running from, it’s Who you are running TO that matters!” I need to remember that. As I look at decisions about possible job changes, possibly staying home instead of working part-time, I need to remember to look UP rather than at all of the options, decisions. I wrestle in my mind with loving some things about my part-time job, but knowing my boss doesn’t treat me the way I deserve to be treated…but, there are lots of good things about it, too, so do I stay and push through it, or look for an opportunity elsewhere?? I need to run to HIM instead.

  126. Latisha says:

    I can relate doubt keeping you from trying things. It has kept me from so much and I don’t think I realized it until I thought about it in this book. I believe doubt and fear are compatriots in the war against my mind and keep me from having that confident heart that you talk about.
    Some of the things that stood out to me from this chapter were…
    ~”Sometimes we agree with them and they become our own.” -talking about insecurity thoughts
    ~”Self-doubt blocks the promise of God’s power and truth to change us from the inside out so that we can live with a confident heart.”
    ~”Perhaps you are so good at hiding your doubts and no one but you knows the paralyzing power they have on your life.”
    ~”Doubt keeps us from believing things can get better. Doubt convinces us that it’s not worth the effort.”
    ~”God doesn’t want us stuck in a cycle of defeat or living in the shadow of doubt.”
    ~Wee need to hope that life can be different. Otherwise, doubt will win every time and our hearts will be eroded by attitudes and emotions of defeat–but it is not supposed to be this way.”
    ~”He’s led me beyond believing in Him to really believing Him by relying on the power of His words and living like they are true no matter what my feelings tell me.”
    ~”The God of all hope is calling you out of the shadow of your doubts so you can live with a confident heart!”
    ~We’ll learn how to live beyond the shadows of doubt by holding each of our insecurities up to the light of God’s Word.”

    These are a few of the things that have spoken to me from this chapter and I pray that the Lord will use them to mold my heart and my thinking so that I won’t continue to walk in my doubt and insecurities, but will instead walk in His confidence and value.

  127. In the shadow of doubt, insecurity paralyzes us…… so true. I have fought this battle for so long. I am so ready to let His Word change the way I think, which will determine the way I feel and eventually transform the way I live!!!! Thankful for this opportunity to take this journey and know that I am not alone with these struggles.

  128. “You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light.”

    I love this line, because it really visually demonstrates what is going on in my head when I doubt God’s promises or get overwhelmed in circumstances. Renee’s story captures themany scenario’s in my life when God is asking me to do something outside my comfort zone or NOT to do something as I am tempted to focus on the what-ifs instead of His promises.

    Reading the promises of God out loud, and even having someone read it to you is more powerful than anything else – it is like listening to the most powerful piece of music that truly does move the soul and secures it on the foundation that it needs to be set on. Learning to not be “shaken”.

  129. I have always had self-doubt. I don’t remember not having it. It has mirrored my entire life. I know that God does not want me to live with self-doubt,but I have never allowed Him to help me conquer it. My prayer is that through this study I can open my heart to be transformed and renewed to be a confident woman of God. The line on page 23, “He’s led me beyond believing in Him to really believing Him by relying on the power of His words and living like they are true no matter what my feelings tell me”, really spoke to me. I am so bad about reacting and living according to how I feel. I am ready to be changed.

  130. Katherine C says:

    The sentence that really stuck out for me was, “Self- Doubt blocks the promise of God’s power and truth to change us from the inside out so that we can live with a confident heart.” I am a new Christian. I have always know about God and Jesus, but this is the first time I am actually serious about it. Out of all of my family and friends only three people are actually excited for me in following Jesus. So I am constantly doubting if I am making the right decision. But I know I am and I can feel God being beside me and helping me. I will cut back on tv and on facebook. I will also go to bed earlier to get up earlier to do this bible study and read my bible.

    I am very excited to start this bible study, because this is my first bible study and my aunt and I are doing this together and on here with all you ladies and Renee.

  131. On page 23 it said that God doesnt want us stuck in a cycle of defeat or living in the shadows of doubt. Isaiah 49:23 tells us that when we hope in the Lord we will not be disappointed. This was a wonderful thing for me. I reread it many times, as I have been stuck in that bad cycle. I love later on when she writes that God declares with confedence that things CAN change. Praise God for wonderful words of encouragemen!!!!!

  132. Resonated thoughts:
    1. Doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time. pg.23 (spiritual warfare)
    We live in a fallen world. We believe people’s comments good and bad! However it seem the bad out weight the good. We believe satan’s lies rather than GOD”S TRUTH. Each and everyone of us is here for a reason, fighting against satan lies so that we can learn to live in the God’s truth. Satan does not want us to do God’s will, so he tries to fill us with doubt. But God’s words can set up free. I have lived in doubt so much of my life, and have been a people pleaser rather than a God pleaser.
    2. When we pray God’s word out loud, and hear them, the Holy Spirit engraves them on our hearts and writes them in our thoughts. Which then give me the confidence that God’s is who HE says HE is. Loved all the bible verses to look up at the end of the chapter. Hebrews 10:35-36- Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised. PATIENTS PATIENTS I know that is God’s will for me so that I can become mature seeking God’s will for my life.
    Thank you Renee for this bible Study. I can’t wait for the next step.

  133. My confidence has been shaken a lot recently with a move to a new town where I don’t know many people, being newly married and in a new job where some of my beliefs are being called into question. This study comes at a good time for me that way! I liked Hebrews 10: 35, 36 and 39. What a great command from God, a promise as well and a reminder of who I am and the confidence I can have in standing as one who believes and is saved!

  134. Mary Hilding says:

    I really enjoyed chapter 1. Something that stuck out to me was when it talks about self-doubt blocks the promise of Gods power and truth to change us from the inside out so that we can live with a confident heart. I was 14 when my dad died and since then i have really struggled with self doubt. Not having a positive father figure growing up in the most important times in my life to really tell me who I am and to have a dad who really loved me.

  135. I feel like this is the book & Bible study that I’ve been searching for & needing for a very long time. I can’t put the book down, & even though we’re only supposed to read chapter one (1) for now, I’ve moved on to chapter three (3). I have always wondered why even though in the midst of all the goodness in my life that I still always felt empty inside & that nothing was or is ever enough for me. I’m extremely insecure, & codependent in my relationships with men. I have always felt like I need a man to complete me, but all I need to complete me is God. None of my relationships have ever worked out & I’ve lost a few really good friends by being so needy & clingy. It’s draining for most & they eventually have to walk away to safeguard themselves. Everyone says why can’t I see the goodness in myself (what others see in me), after reading just the 1st three (3) chapters, I’m finally beginning to see what I’ve truly been missing & have needed so desparately in my life & in my heart. God is the only answer to my emptiness. He loves me unconditionally, & does not pass judgement on me like so many others have & still do. I’m truly looking forward to this Bible study in hopes that it can free me in a sense. I have always believed in God but never had the close relationship that I’ve always needed to have with Him. I’m hoping that this study will teach me how to develop that relationship to it’s fullest. God Bless all of you taking this Bible Study, feels good to know that I’m not alone.

  136. Melissa says:

    My dear sisters you are not alone, I have struggled with these issues my whole entire life, I have always asked myself “what was wrong with me, why am I so insecure with myself?” I have been through so many challenges in life and struggles of feeling unworthy, unloved, alone, scared, not good enough, not strong enough, just plain self doubt all the way around. God has been working through me my whole entire life but it just has been the past few years I have put the pieces together. My biggest challenge right now is God has led me in a direction of seeing how strong I really am. Several years ago I was a liturgical dance instructor for a church I use to belong to, and about a 2 years ago I started working out and went to a dance fitness class. since I was so unhappy where my life was going, a year ago I became certified to teach, but the music didn’t inspire me as much as uplifting Christian music, God started working in me as I started to choreograph my own routines, I wanted to encourage others around me in my new church and community, that through all things if we put our full focus on what really matters in life everything else will fall into place. But as I was doing my classes I heard a voice of self doubt come over me, a voice of I”ll never be good enough, it is very hard to overcome these feelings when you don’t have support from family, but as I’m reading this I am learning it doesn’t matter what others think of you, I am doing this because this is the direction the Lord has asked me to follow, I think the biggest challenge is going out in the community to spread the word to others about Christ, I could be completely booed and shunned and am I strong enough for this?? Since in my area I’m the only fitness instructor that turned to all Christian music, people have laughed at me, called me crazy, I’m good when I do the routines for my class at church, it’s other places I just seize up and it over powers me.
    Rom 8:28 speaks volumes to me, I must trust that whatever obstacle that have been placed in my way. God knows my path since he has already laid the foundation for me to follow, I just need to focus on him and ask for his help and strength.

  137. Hi Renee,
    This study group is a complete God send. I feel the way I grew up learning about God has shaped the way I approach Him. I am trying desperately to hear him and to BELIEVE what He says, not just believe in Him. My husband of 20 years (I’m 40 so that is half my life) walked out on me and my three children. He spent yesterday at Easter services with his mistress while never once trying to see his wife or children (although we were not at the same church, I cannot for the life of me understand how he thinks it is okay to stand in the house of the Lord with the woman he is cheating on me with). I have been having daily panic attacks and trying so hard to become confident and not ask “why am I not good enough”. Thank you for writing this book and organizing this study, I am praying I will be changed and become secure in God’s promises…not just believe them, but believe IN them.

  138. Linnette says:

    I could remember having self-doubt as early as 6-7 years old. There are so many things I wanted to do but never tried or followed through with because I thought I would just fail. Now that I am an adult woman and have been ministering to other women for the past 3-4 yrs, the statement on page 16 of the book, really made me realized I’m not the only one: “I wondered if perhaps my self-doubt was a sign I was in the wrong calling. I mean, if God calls you to do something, shouldn’t you feel confident about it?” That has been my struggle for the entire time, even though the blessings are there, I still didn’t see them or acknowledged them.
    My prayer is that during these weeks, I will surrender all that I am and put all my trust and hope in Him. I know in my heart that God has called me into ministering to women and I pray I will not spend another day not doing God’s work because my lack of confidence. I will be made anew!!

  139. The sentence that struck me was about being good at hiding my doubts and no one knows the PARALYZING POWER they have on my life. I suffer from what I like to call “death by recliner”. I function day to day seemingly fine. I go to school everyday, teach my children, write my lessons, interact and laugh with my colleagues and no one knows that when I get home I plop into my recliner and am overcome with sadness, loneliness, and a great sense of inadequacy which make it difficult to rise up both physically and emotionally. It is exhausting living a double life! I am active in my church and my church family doesn’t know the real me either. Part of me doesn’t want them to and part of me longs for someone to recognize that I am struggling and offer to help me through it. I have begun recently to experience an awakening (a gift fro God I am sure) to things in my life that have contributed to what I am feeling and I am truly working hard to find healing. This study being one step in that direction. I feel blessed to be on this journey!

  140. I have been lost and just exisiting for the last 3 years. I am thankful to Renee for writing this book.I feel like things are never going to change in my life and that I don’t have anything to hope for any more. I keep wondering what’s the matter with me? I am really good at hiding how I feel from others , heck, even from myself. The self doubt, panic, and no confidence in myself is robbing me of any happiness, joy , and peace.I set goals make some progress, then I quit, I don’t understand why I do this! So I guess I have j quit for good, I give up! The pain inside of me hurts so bad. My mother never wanted me and abused me in many ways. My husband has hurt me with lies, porn, and touching women at work. I just wonder why I wasn’t enough for either one of them?!

  141. I am excited to be doing this study with so many women who like me have experienced a lack of confidence. While going through my divorce I totally fell apart. My husband made sure that I knew I was worthless and messed up everything I touched. Funny that God didn’t feel the same way and He began to pick me up and put me back together again. I read Renee’s book a couple of months ago and it spoke deeply to me,so I was excited when I found she was going to be conducting a study for us here online. Since the time I read the book, my life has been turned upside down once again. A year after my divorce I began dating again and fell in love with a man I thought was wonderful. What a shock to find out recently that I was just one of many women in his life and this wonderful relationship was all a lie. What confidence I had built was totally broken down when I discovered his cheating and lies. I am so very thankful to have this study right now. I desperately need to hear from God and need the support of other women who are feeling discouragement and fear like I am right now.

    • Rene,
      I’ve been where you are and my heart goes out to you. You are not alone in how you feel, please know there are plenty of us out there. I’ll be praying that God does some wonderful things in our lives.

  142. I am excited to be part of this study. The last few years have been one of constanct self doubt. My daughter is bi-polar and when she is off her meds, her father and I are evil. When she does go off, I am constantly tearing myself up for not being good enough for her. She’s off her meds again. I am struggling again. But this time, this time it’s going to be different. Doubt and hope can not live in the same heart. I am so tired of doubting myself, trying to please everyone and feeling like I am not pleasing anyone. I try so hard and always feel like I come up short. It starts new today, today I will begin anew. Thank you Lord for all you do! For your mercies, your grace, your unconditional love. I love you Lord!

  143. “All of a sudden, it dawned on me. My uncertainty had created a huge shadow of doubt. Just like my shadow on the wall was distorting my shape, my doubt was distorting my thoughts and overpowering my emotions with confusion and questions. The shadow of doubt had become bigger than what I doubted – myself.”

    Loved this quote, Renee. Since being laid off late last fall, I have had moments of total doubt that I would ever continue in ministry or that my calling was somehow in question now. And when I focus on the doubts, they loom larger and larger in my mind. I love your emphasis on reading and praying God’s word in this chapter. I believe that is what has helped me the most over the last few months as I’ve worked to combat attacks from the enemy and battled anxiety over whether I will ever be employed again! I am clinging to the promise in Isaiah 49 that “those who hope in me will not be disappointed.”

    Thanks for a great start to this study!

    • Amen Holly!! Im praying for you too!! Oh how I wish we could hire you full time and answer that big ole prayer. We love you and you are such a blessing to us at the office. You are highly favored, dearly loved and a valuable tool in the hand of our GOD!!!

      SO glad you are doing the study with me/us!! <>

  144. “You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light.” This statement really stuck out for me. Some other reading I have been doing talked about praying God’s Word. I’ve know this… but am not consistent in doing this… so this part of the chapter really stood out as well. I find when I am doubting,overwhelmed, tired, on overload… I slip back into habits that aren’t as productive. I almost put the book down, when I was reading during my lunch time today… but then had to give my thoughts back to the Lord. This study really grabbed me and I believe it was a prompting of the Holy Spirit. I could relate to you story … when you talked about the whispering doubts and It’s not supposed to be this way. Self talk can really mess with a person’s mind and keeping scripture in front of me really helps. Thank you. I look forward to the rest of this study together.

  145. Margaret says:

    What spoke to me was on page 25…”When we pray God’s words out loud, and hear them, the Holy Spirit engraves them on our hearts and writes them in our thoughts”. Encouragement to start reading scripture out loud to have HIS words come to me whenever I am doubting myself

  146. I read the 1st chapter and really need this Bible Study. I didn’t realize how insecure I really was until I read Chapter 1, read the prayer and answered the questions. I realize that what I think about me is more important than I thought. I know I will be able to get through to the other side of this. I just didn’t know I needed this much help. Thank you for having this Bible Study.

  147. There was so much in the first chapter that seemed to have my name written all over it. Insecurity has caused me to doubt myself so many times when God has called me into a ministry. I think the one thing that said it best was I only see the shadow of my doubt when I turn away from the light. As long as I keep my focus in my Heavenly Father I can walk with more courage and confidence. When I take my eyes off of Him I fear that I will fail so I don’t do what God is calling me to do. Really excited about this study. I have read the book before but looking forward to studying it now.

  148. I know this is kind of long, but in line with what so many have been talking about in regards to speaking the TRUTH out loud. I thought that I would share this:


    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on “I can’t,” because the Word says: “I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on fear, because the Word says: “God has not given me a spirit of fear, but one of power, love and a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on doubt and a lack of faith, because the Word says: “God has dealt to each one [every person] a measure of faith.” (Romans 12:3)

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on weakness, because the Word says: “The Lord is the strength of My life” (Psalm 27:1) and “The people that know their God shall be strong and carry out great exploits.” (Daniel 11:32)

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on the supremacy of Satan over my life, because the Word says: “Greater is He that is within me than he that is in the world.” (1 John 4:4)

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on defeat, because the Word says: “God always causes me to triumph in Jesus Christ.” (2 Corinthians 2:14)

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on a lack of wisdom, because the Word says: “Christ Jesus has become for me wisdom from God.” (1 Corinthians 1:30) and “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” (James 1:5)

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on sickness, because the Word says: “With His stripes I am healed.” (Isaiah 53:5) and Jesus “Himself took my infirmities and bore my sickness.” (Matthew 8:17)

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on bondage, because the Word says: “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.” (2 Corinthians 3:17) and “My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.” (1 Corinthians 6:19)

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on worries and frustration, because the Word says: I am “Casting all my cares upon Him who cares for me.” (1 Peter 5:7)

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on condemnation, because the Word says: “There is now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1) I am in Christ, so therefore I am free from condemnation!

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on loneliness, because the Word says: Jesus said, “I am with you always, even till the end of the age [forever].” (Matthew 28:20) and “I will never leave you, nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on curses or bad luck, because the Word says: “Christ has redeemed me from the curse of the Law, being made a curse for me: that the blessings of Abraham might come upon the gentiles [that’s me] through Jesus Christ: That we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith.” (Galatians 3:13-14)

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on discontent, because the Word says: “I have learned in whatever state (circumstances) I am, to be content.” (Philippians 4:11)

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on unworthiness, because the Word says: “He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” (2 Corinthians 5:21)

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on confusion, because the Word says: “God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.” (1 Corinthians 14:33) and “We have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God.” (1 Corinthians 2:12)

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on persecution, because the Word says: “If God be for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31)

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on the domination of sin over my life, because the Word says: “The law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.” (Romans 8:2)

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on insecurity, because the Word says: “When you lie down, you will not be afraid; Yes, you will lie down and your sleep will be sweet. Do not be afraid of sudden terror, Nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes; For the LORD will be your confidence, And will keep your foot from being caught.” (Proverbs 3:24-26)

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on failure, because the Word says: “In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” (Romans 8:37)

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on frustration, because the Word says: “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” (Isaiah 26:3)

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on fear of the future, because the Word says: “As it is written: “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit.” (1 Cor 2:9-10)

    NEVER AGAIN will I confess or focus on troubles, because the Word says: Jesus said, “In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

  149. Judy T. says:

    I love it when Renee stated, when I CHOOSE to dwell in the assurance is Whose I am and Who I am in Him! I so long to truly rest in this truth, so I can be free from trying to please man- which only leads me to fear.

  150. Christina Beebe says:

    For me the second half of a line “… my doubt was distorting my thoughts and overpowering my emotions with confusion and questions.” really talked to me! I am ALWAYS second guessing myself! Did I make the right decision or what if are phrases that I hear in my head after every decision that I make! Even the tiniest decision I will second guess myself on! Like most of the women taking this bible study I struggle with my self-esteem, if I am a good parent, and just being confident in anything!

  151. I am so ready to get rid of this doubt (not good enough, body image) that has had a hold on my life for way to long. I am blessed to be a part of this online study. Thank you Renee!
    God, I pray all the women on here will be released and have the confidence we are looking for in every area of our lives, You gave us a sound mind. Open the eyes of our hearts to see your truth and that it will penitrate our hearts, mind and spirits, bless Renee as she leads us and give her the words you want spoken, the heart that is sensitive to our needs and the strength to do this and all the other things she has going on in her life. Help us to be VICTORIOUS in this study, In Jesus’ most powerful name I pray, Amen!

  152. Mary Huerta says:

    I have started many different bible studies hoping that a change will happen instantly. When the change does not I quit. I hear something tell me that ill never learn or something is wrong on my life and I dont deserve it. In the first chapter I saw me. Like I was the one you were speaking about. I want to stay with study, god says he had begun a new thing.

    • Mary, I am praying that with God’s help you will be able to stick with the study to the very last page. Renee does an incredible job of speaking directly to the reader.

  153. I am so excited to have found this book. I feel like it was written just for me and that God led it to me at the exact right moment in my life. I don’t think that I was ready to hear these words two months ago, but now my heart and mind are open and I am learning and growing in my relationship with Christ. Thank you!

  154. As I read the acknowledgements and the first chapter I thought to myself “God means this for everyone else except me.”

    Each inspirational Bible Scripture seems to written for the lady next door, the woman down the street but, not for me. I’ve struggled so much throughout my life to have a tiny bit of confidence that it just doesn’t seem possible.

    Except, as I read and answered the questions and after I prayed the first chapter prayer out loud, I felt compelled to go outside and walk my dog. I met up with a new woman who lives in our campground and invited her in for prayer. My prayer was “Help me believe that you mean this for me too, God.” I feel a glimmer of hope and dawning belief that maybe, just maybe, God means his promises for me too. Thank you, Renee.

    • Andrea, I pray that God will open your heart and mind and see how this study applies directly to your life. Looking forward to studying together.

  155. The things that resonate with me is the fact that even reading the verses, I was thinking.. that is for someone else. UGG I never realized how doubting I am. I want to be confident in God’s Word not just in God. How can I say I believe Him when I don’t believe His Words? I mean I believe them just not for… me. Wow how sad.. I am going to work on feeling good about me because I am made in His image so I am important

    • Abigail says:

      I did the same thing while I was reading those. They sounded nice, but meant for someone who really deserved them.

      • I know…what is with that? You read them, and you know in your mind that it’s right, but it doesn’t quite connect all the way THROUGH you. It’s not like I sit and consciously think, “Oh that’s for someone else” per se, but I’m definitely disconnected.
        The good news is, we have many chapters to go! Read and repeat verses to self, repeat to self, wash, spin, rinse….. ๐Ÿ˜€

    • I penned those very thoughts in my journal last night. I wrongly tell myself that’s for the people God really loves and wants to use to make a difference in the world. May we all let the mind of Christ dwell in us.

  156. I know God is working in my life he has helped me through sexual,physical,emotional and mental abuse. He has also helped me conquer my addiction to drugs and alcohol. So why then do I still sometimes struggle with whats going to happen. I have to remember that Gods not going to let anything bad happen to me. I worry about my husbands job and whats going to happen. If hes going to get another job. I have to realize God knows whats best for us. I have a mental problem also I finally realized after watching a movie on Spiritual Warfare that it’s the devil trying to put lies and voices in my head. Am truly excited to be able to read A Confident Heart and let God keeping working miracles in my life. Am going to keep on reading God’s Promises and have faith everything will be ok. Mark 9:23 “What do you mean, ” If I can”? Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.” Am truly blessed and grateful that I can be on this journey so I can be the best person God intented me to be. Don’t wish I can be someone else just be myself and quit comparing. Best of luck to everyone on this wonderful journey and Godbless. We’re truly children of God and He loves each and everyone of us. Thank you to all my sisters in Christ and thank you so much Renee this is just what I need. No more fear just Let Go and Let God.

    • Shelley, thank you for the wonderful reminder – we are all children on God and He loves each one of us very much. We need to find our confidence in Him and replace all those lies floating around in our heads with God’s Truth.

  157. Carolyn says:

    What really resonated strongly when I read Chapter 1 was when you mentioned the statements that paralyzes us when doubt rears it’s ugly head. I can readily identify with everything that is written. Insecurity plays a big part in allowing doubt to rule…questioning my adequacy. I am really trying to get past this phase in my life. I am learning to speak and apply the Word of God in everything that I am faced with on a daily basis. 1 John 5: 14-15 has been a stabilizer for me; and I am grateful to God for directing me to becoming a part of this study. There is so much I desire to do in Kingdom work; and by faith in God and His directing my path, I am so confident that this shall come to pass. Thank you for writing this amazing book! I am so looking forward to Growing in God!

  158. Rachelle says:

    I love it when a book speaks right to my heart, and I can find comfort in knowing that I am not alone in mynstruggles. Fr as much of mynlife as I can remember I have struggled with self-doubt. I have been the young girl who did not participate in things others did for fear that I wasn’t good enough, or wouldn’t say or do the right things, I was the college studen’t who had a panic attack and almost changed my major when things got tough, because I thught I couldn’t do it. I am the woman who waited two years to fulfill my calling to bring a womans group to my church only to still struggle with am I enough for these women and what are they thinking about me. I love when Renee wrote that she heard Hod say that she could only see the shadow because she had turned away from the light! That really hit home for me. I know I need to immerse myself in his word and his truths and stop all these worry thoughts that run through my mind that come from the enemy. I am really lloking forward to the rest of this study! Thank you Renee!

  159. I think that the sentence that resonated with me is that if God calls you to do something shouldn’t you be confident about it.

    When i first i started out in my career, it thought i could change the world and love doing this forever. Years later, somedays it is such a struggle to go into work due to my anxiety.

    I feel God calling me to something new, but I am too nervous to take the leap as one sentence said although you may be miserable at least the misery is familiar.

    I am encouraged by Romans 8:28 and praying that God will use this study to develop a heart change

  160. Crystal says:

    I am struggling with debilitating anxiety, worry, fear ~ I am so looking forward to this study and the community of like minded folks to be connected with as we study together.
    Thank you Renee for offering this study!

    • Crystal, praying for you that God will help to release the hold that anxiety, worry and fear have on your life. Looking forward to studying and learning together through this journey.

  161. Carolina says:

    The sentence that stood out to me the most was about letting God’s Word change my mind and that that would eventually change the way I think and transform the way I live. It’s something I definitely need to learn how to do. I need to hold on to God’s promises and learn to see myself the way He sees me. And I could relate to your story when you said that fear and doubt kept you from doing a lot of things. That is something I’ve always struggled with. I’m afraid of trying new things or going beyond my comfort zone. I’m also afraid to do something when I “know” that it won’t turn our as good as I expect it to be. But I am confident that, through this journey, God will transform my life and that I will learn to trust in Him and live with a confident heart.

  162. The sentence that spoke to me was, “doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time.” Doubt means that we hesitate to believe, which is totally opposite of what hope is: to believe, desire, or trust. I have doubted so many times but now my hope is built on nothing less then Jesus Blood and Righteousness. And with Him all things are possible. Praise Jesus

  163. Thanks for the study Renee. I have always struggled with self-doubt telling me things that is not good for my spiritual walk with the Lord. I love the prayer at the end of chapter one; Praying God’s Promises. I pray that God will bless us all in this journey as we study. I also pray that God will bless me to continue this study this year. I have struggled with starting something and not finishing it, and then I found myself living in self-doubt of who I am in Christ Jesus. The scripture “I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me is my scripture that keep me going when this happen. God bless you all. I shall return soon. My job want allow me to come every day. Love you.

  164. Felicia Hepburn,
    Thank you God wants to know what’s on
    Your heart. I want to know too your voice
    does matter. Don’t believe the lies trust in
    Gods word. Am proud of you for speaking
    your mind ๐Ÿ™‚

  165. Michelle says:

    I have been searching for this type of Bible study for quite some time. I attend Sunday school and church weekly but have found myself wanting to learn more. We have had women’s Bible stuidies in our church but I am involved in several activities in church that have kept me from doing them. Right away after reading the first chapter I realized that this was describing the same thoughts and feelings that I have been experiencing. God has called me to step out of my comfort zone and I feel as if I am holding myself back because of my doubt and insecurity. Deep down I know that God has fully equipped me to serve him as He has called me to do. There is this nagging part of my that will not let me go. I am a quiet individual who usually does not say much at all I just seem to listen to what others are saying unless I am spoken to. There is so much that I would like to communicate but I have a tendency to just sit and not say a word. I view this as one of my insecurities or doubts. I seem to be worried about what people will think of what I say. This usually happens to me in group settings especially Sunday school and Bible studies. I am excited about this online study and what doors it may open for me in response to what God has called me to do.

  166. cherielynne says:

    Fear and insecurity will rob you of so much joy in life. I am grateful to have been led to this group to learn we are all in this together and we will overcome with help fro God.

  167. EricaT19 says:

    I don’t know where to begin. Wow. I happened upon this Online Study through a friends facebook page. It couldn’t have happened at a better time. I have done a lot of soul searching in the last few years. I have been sober over 3 years, have gone back to college, graduated, and I will take my liscensing test in 1 week. And, am I ever lacking the confidence!! I have come to the point where I am more scared to pass my test than I am to fail it. I have all the feelings mentioned in Ch. 1. My doubts are not whispering, theyare screaming! But, I keep going. I have always kept going, but now I feel like I might actually have some tools and support to help me. I am looking forward to this journey and pray that I can do more than just go through the motions. I have worked very hard over the last 3 years and hate the fact that I am scared to death. I want to be confident!! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be a part of this journey. It is absolutely inspiring. God Bless!

    • Abigail says:

      You will be confident. God has an amazing path for you that you have already begun to walk.

      • Erica, congrats on your accomplishments!! I too managed to go back to grad school and graduate, and landed a job here while I was still IN school. Now that I’m staring down the barrel of having to move on to another job, I’m terrified too!! There’s nothing scarier than the unknown……but that’s why we’re here–to reinforce our faith. Someone posted earlier about “remember Jeremiah 29:11…”. I’m by no means an expert on verses, but that one helps me a LOT. You can do it!! (with Him, naturally! ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

        • EricaT19 says:

          Thank you Abigail and Pam! I hope my book gets here soon. I am a very hands on person and know that will help me with journaling and really getting into reading His word. I knew I was in trouble when I started feeling more scared to pass than I did to fail. But, you are right. WE can do this with Him! ๐Ÿ™‚

  168. WOW! I”ve been reading and skimming over all the posts. I fit right into this group. I have a lot of doubt from father issues to driving directions to wondering “Why me?”. I know I have missed many things in life because I took the safe route. I was afraid to try for fear of failing! I am a terrible decision maker because I am afraid to make the wrong decision and pay the price for that decision. I often argue with myself. When life is tough due to a string of events that are hard, I often feel that God is out to get me. My head knows better but my heart takes over. My first thought is to wonder what I did wrong this time to deserve this. When I come back around to rational thinking, I know it is a lesson to be learned. There is a reason for the events. Learn from them! That doubt often sneaks back in. I am tired of missing out on things in life. I am tired of worrying about every decision and questioning my self-confidence. I doubt when I think I feel God’s leading. I don’t always follow because I doubt it is His will especially when it coincides with what I want. I think it can’t be true. I often ask HIM to hit me over the head with a huge sign so I know for sure it is His will. It does’t always happen. I need to get passed this. My head needs to rule more often.

    The part that struck me was the mention of changing jobs on page 21. This is something I’ve recently started praying about. I need to follow what He wants for me in this area. I am just not sure what that is. Again, I don’t want to make the wrong decision. Again, hit me over the head so I know. I want HIS best not my best. I am afraid I will make a mistake and be sorry.

    Like others the statement on p. 22 about self-doubt blocking God’s promises struck me. Along with p.23 the quote about “Doubt keeps us from believing things can get better.”, etc. I know He will answer when we ask but why is it I have trouble with doubting what the answer is? Why can’t I just “know”? How did I get this way? These are things I hope to figure out and become a stronger God girl!

  169. Abigail says:

    In my doubts and lack of confidence I have missed out on so many opportunities just because the thoughts, “I’m not good enough,” “There’s someone better,” or “No one will want me to” float through my head when opportunities arise. It keeps me from volunteering at my church, fearing that it’s really not the are I’m being called to. I volunteer when others specifically ask me. It’s as thought I need them to ask so that I can feel my self worth.

    “He led me beyond believing in Him to really believing Him by relying on the power of His words and living like they are true no matter what my feelings tell me.” I struggle with this and would love to one day quote this and truly mean it about myself. I read the Word, and at times it sinks in, but to hold onto it is difficult. Promises made. I know they’re for me, but I feel there are others who deserve them more.

    “But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him” Jer 17:7. It’s not that I don’t trust God, but when He speaks to me in prayer I tend to doubt that these words are His. I feel as though I’m making them up myself, though at times the power behind them should be unmistakable as God’s. I have things to work through, and in my walk this week I have chosen to make sure I am doing everything prayerfully as I know I should. I am going to listen – to really listen – for Him in my quiet times and not doubt. I’m on vacation this week with my husband and three children (9, 8 and 5), and I’m relying on Him to use this time together and my commitment to Him and His Word to work something amazing in my life and in my family. I have already been presented with a challenge today that I will not be able to overcome without Him. After all, through God all things truly are possible.

  170. I underlined so many things in the first chapter but can sum everything up with the very first two words I underlined, “What if….?” Those two words have haunted me my entire life. I have been shaped by the “what if” question. My fears and self-doubts have always began with ‘what if?” Before I do anything I as “what if?” I think if I could get beyond those two words, I might see some improvement in my life. I have lived filled with self-doubt and low self-esteem for 48 years. At this point, it is hard to believe that anything can change. However, I am trying not to give up. I am a new Christian and am trying to find some of the peace I seek through God’s word and getting to know fellow Christians. Finding this bible study was fortuitous. I am really hoping that I can learn something that will help me. I am a bit intimidated by it because I am not used to this type of a forum but I am going to give it a try. Without going into a lengthy backstory, the most pertinent thing in my life right now is that fact that I suffer from chronic depression and am just coming out of another major depression. I am really hoping to find some peace and maybe even some understanding by learning God’s word and the effect it can have on my life.
    I look forward to reading more comments and getting further into this study.

  171. Lana S,
    You are worthy and a valuable person.
    What you say does count. We should
    not be afraid to speak our minds. I love
    what you have to say. Keep talking God
    wants to know whats on your heart and so
    do I. Thanks for sharing ๐Ÿ™‚

  172. The sentence that spoke to me was “All things work together for good to those who love God according to his purpose”. These words give me confidence and His words I need to pray to my God daily!

  173. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me, Philippians 4:13 – As this scripture hangs over my window, I read it and ask God to allow this scripture to mediate on my heart. Sometimes I will allow the doubt, fear and negative thoughts to overwhelm my mind and I can not focus at work. I have to pray and God for intercession and remove any thoughts in my mind that is not pleasing to Him. I want to be confident in what is calling me to do and do it according to His will. I want to be able to step out in faith, knowing that what I have done whether it is at church, my place of employment, my business or at home that it was done in confident and pleasing unto God.

  174. Thanks Abagail u too God is amazing

  175. The “It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way” section, really hit home for me. Renee wrote that “Doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time. God doesn’t want us stuck in a cycle of defeat or living in the shadows of doubt.” (pg 23) God knows us intimately, and knows whats in and on our hearts. Many times I find myself thinking that the way my life is (currently) is not what I thought it would be. According to my sinful human ways, my life should be going along according to MY way. I strive to take my eyes off my circumstances, and focus them on Him. Scripture tells us our ways are not His ways, just like His thoughts are not our thoughts. God is in control and I need to continually focus and put my confidence in Him. I LOVE the Scripture Renee opened with, Hebrews 10:35-36. “So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.” (NLT)
    My prayer is that through this study, and prayer that my confidence will grow in Him (therefore shrinking my doubt), so that I can be used to glorify Him.

  176. There were two sentences that strongly spoke to me in Chapter 1, page 21; (1) “…maybe you’ve sensed God calling to serve Him in a way that requires steps of faith, but insecurity has convinced you that you’re not smart enough or gifted enough”, and (2) that my doubts have been “distorting my thoughts and overpowering my emotions with confusion and questions”.

    In reading Renee’s personal story, I can definitely relate to her struggles with self-doubt.

    In reading and studying the Bible verses and reading Chapter 1, there were a couple of things that spoke to me. “The memory of past victories should inspire present endurance.” As well as Isaiah 49:23, “…those who hope in me will NOT be disappointed.” Those two thoughts have spoke to and uplifted me today.

  177. Melissa says:

    This study is so on time for me…I am currently experiencing a “winter” season and all of my insecurities and self-doubts are resonating loudly in my ear. I am in a city of unfamiliar people – no family and no friends. I feel so along…the truth is I am waddling in self-pity and God is right here – waiti g for me to “turn back to the light”. For me, that was powerful – I am looking in the shadow – looking at what is not of God and forgetting He is where is light, hope and truth!! I am ready to conquer my doubts – celebrating the new thing God s about to do…thank you for reminding me to turn around and looked to Him – from we’re my help comes from!

  178. Shelley says:

    Felicia Hepburn,
    I’ve been divorced also Thank God he helped
    me through it . Am glad your on this journey
    with me.

  179. Denise Perkins says:

    I am so intrigued about your book, you could easily be talking about me in this first chapter, I am so meek and shy and insecure, and no confidence in any way shape or form, and have such a sensitive heart that I cry at the drop of a hat, which sometimes is frustrating for me, but I really feel like this class will help me to grow and be a better person.

  180. There are so many things that spoke to me in this first chapter. In my head I know and understand
    these things. My biggest obstacle is the blockage between my head and my heart.
    I see Gods promises at work in others and desperately want to see and feel them active in my own but I feel this whole painful thing of being unworthy. I know the things that happened in the past were not about me but the other people’s limitations The war that goes on between my head and heart causes a roller coaster of faith, emotion, fear and confidence. Believing that through this study God will help me find some balance and consistency in my emotional nightmare, self worth, faith, trust and confidence in him. Many thanks Renee for putting your experiences to paper so many of us can benefit from your journey. God Bless you, your family and team ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Shannon says:

      I completely am in the same boat.. Sure I have head knowledge. It’s just not getting to my heart.

  181. Juanita says:

    “The God of all hope is calling you out of the shadow of your doubts so you can live with a confident heart!” It seems as though I lost all hope when my ex-husband who I’m back together with betrayed me again just this past January. I started to feel unwanted, ugly, unworthy, you name it, I felt it even though I KNOW I am God’s daughter! Nate and I began counseling at church and to make a long story short, the counselor thought it was best for him to see Nate alone. As I continue to let God lead me, I too knew I needed help…God wants to work on me too and I needed Him more than ever. I know God has placed it in my heart to wait for Nate to receive the counseling he needs, as God works on him. Regardless of what happens with Nate and his recovery, I know that this and all times I need God. About a month ago I questioned where MY confidence was and that constant questioning was followed by constant reminders on Proverbs 31 ministries website about this book and this online study. Like Renee says, “This will be a process that happens if you are willing to have honest, soul-searching conversations with God, yourself, and a few people you trust-conversations about where you are, how you got here, and where you really long to be.”

    I am so ready to stampede over with all these doubts the enemy attacks me with!!!

    • Juanita,

      When human love fails us, it is natural to feel unwanted, unworthy, ugly, etc. My marriage of 28 years ended for the same reason of infidelity and it really does a number on how we view ourselves, even though we know in our head that we are so worthy in God’s eyes. I just said a prayer for you and I hope that God will work a miracle in your marriage and, most importantly, in you! His love never fails or forsakes us! Praise God for that!

    • Completely get it Juanita, my husband betrayed me too. We started counselling at church and were referred to private counselling. Counsellor decided to see us separately. We are still together but he no longer wants anything to do with God or our Church Family. Somehow all his issues are my fault. My confidence has been trashed as he continually makes me feel guilty for going to church and bible study. I guess part of our healing is learning once again to trust not only our husbands but also God as he deals with them and us

      • Juanita says:

        I read Redeeming Love a number of years ago and identified myself so much with the main character Angel. Never in a million years would I have thought that now I identify myself with Michael, Angel’s husband. An obedient servant of our Lord God. Being obedient to His word, His plans, His promises. God is calling on our men’s hearts as much as He calls on ours. We need to lift our men in prayer. Ultimately it is God’s free will to each of us to decide the road we take. I pray we remain obedient and continue to hear and listen to Him and to do it in love. So much harder at times but our righteousness will be honored by God. Lifting you all in prayer ๐Ÿ™‚

  182. The voices of doubt in my head are so loud sometimes. I know that I should get the word of God and read it out loud, but I just can’t seem to make myself do it. I struggle with insecurity, depression, rejection issues. I know I need to renew my mind with God’s truth, but it is hard to make myself do it. I am hoping this study will help me focus on what I can do and let God do what only He can do. I have stayed at a job where I am miserable and have been afraid to leave because the fear of the unknown was worse than the misery at work. I feel like God is wanting me to move on. I am praying that He will provide another job that I will be fulfilled in and bring Him honor and glory. I have been afraid that all my mistakes and failures will keep me from doing more mission-type work. If I can’t handle the fire here, what makes me think i can handle spiritual warfare in mission work? Anyway, I am praying for God to do a complete work in me through this study. I am going to pray for focus and endurance to complete it.

    • Tanya your first few sentence are how I feel. When I am down, there is that voice in my head that says read the bible, pray to me but I reject God becasue I always feel so rejected. I pray that you can renew your mind with God’s truth and this study helps you know that you are AMAZING!

  183. Christine says:

    “You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light.” I can take that statement that appeared in Chapter One and apply it to a situation I found myself in recently. It was almost as if God was speaking to me when I read those words. It was a great relief to read them!!

  184. I was tempted not to post at all since 1) the group is large and I felt I’d just get lost, 2) My story is so much like so many others.

    I grew up hearing things like “Are you stupid?” “You are fat and ugly’, “Don’t you know any better?”
    Like so many I never felt good enough, pretty enough or worthy of respect.

    I have read this book once before on my own and gifted it to a friend and bought another for myself. I am hoping to solidify the lessons, the truth that I AM good enough and worthy enough JUST AS I AM.

    I have made a practice the last few years of moving through my fears and “pressing on”. On June 8-9 I will be giving A SERMON (I have become involved, despite my fears, in the lay ministry of my church). I am so hoping to truly grasp that “When I choose to dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in Him, I (will) have a confident heart” (page 23) and can get through it without crying due to nerves!! ๐Ÿ™‚
    I want to start praying His Word and truly believe it and LIVE it.

    Thank you, Renee. You and Lysa are wonderful role models to me and I admire and learn from all of you at Proverbs 31!

    • Im so glad you posted!! And Im so proud of you too. You are more than you think!! You have more to offer than you know. And the more you walk in that truth the more God is going to show off in you. Praying for you as you walk in faith and preach that sermon. You are highly favored and the Lord is with you!!

  185. Juanita,
    Thanks yes I’m obidient to God and pray
    His will be done not mine. Take care ๐Ÿ™‚

  186. I could relate to anything you said about having doubts about myself and my abilities. I grew up in a Christian home and became a Christian at a young age. I feel like I’ve always believed IN God. I liked the part where you talked about moving from believing IN him to BELIEVING HIM. I pray I can believe he has big plans for my life and he will be there to guide me in those big plans if I only believe him.

    • Sara, God does have big plans for your life. I pray that you will not only be able to believe Him, but also step out and follow His leading and not let doubts and fears hold you back.

  187. It is easy to have a confident heart when things are going well. My ex husband left me for another woman and then my boyfriend of over a year just suddenly broke up with me, no real reason.

    I am bewildered, upset and broken and feeling like I was not good enough to make them stay.

    I am able to fake it when I’m at work and in front of others, but when I am alone, that is when the emotions and doubt surface.

    I started the book a few weeks ago, but really didn’t dig into it until now. I want to get my confidence back and squash the fear and doubt that has invaded.

    • Candy,

      I can relate to your situation as my husband of over 28 years also chose someone else over me. It is heartbreaking and I know I told myself, “If I had done this, or if I had lost weight, or if I had tried harder, etc.,” he would have been happier and would not have looked to another woman. The fact is that more often than not it is more about his issues than it is about what you could have done or been. Human love will fail us at times, but I know this to be true and that is that the love of God our Father, never fails and He sees us as worthy and good enough! Look at yourself through His eyes and accept His unconditional love. Believe me, I know that is easier said than done, because I have been in your shoes and I know how low the pit of despair and loneliness can go. Just don’t give up! Keep your eyes on God’s love and allow Him to fill the void in your life! He will not fail you and you will not be disappointed! Time truly does heal!

  188. carolyn rivers says:

    i have known for years that i have had a void in my life that i have tried to fill by the the wrong things. i am happy that i am making the first steps to repair myself. i realized that it is never to late and anything is possible if you have the right person backing you. i realized all i need is god an he is the one that has never turned his back on me but i have turned my back on him. it feels good to know my dark days are finally behind me and i am worth it. i am not alone anymore.

    • Carolyn I know exactly how you feel. I know that God is there but it’s like I can’t let him in. I pray that this study helps you further repair yourself.

  189. As I spoke the prayer at the end of the first chapter these words truly gripped my heart, ” My confidence is in Christ and I am no longer one who shrinks back and is destroyed”. Have I been shrinking back by allowing myself to be overrun with feelings of doubt and insecurity? Have I, as a result, been destroyed because of it? Many days I have certainly felt like it. I have felt like there’s nothing left of me, just a shrivelled shell of a woman who doesn’t measure up. I have often turned away from the light and was overwhelmed with the shadows…but failing to focus on the light and trying to “fix” things on my own has never turned out all that well. Isn’t that a surprise. Haha. This chapter has been a reminder to keep my eyes fixed on my Heavenly Father. I want what He has and wants for me…and it’s high time I let that happen!

  190. Thanks for the study Renee! I am excited about the delving into the Word of God more deeply and allowing His spirit to renew and refresh me as I pray, read and study. It is a blessing to be involved in a study with so many women of God. One of the scriptures that really stood out for me in chapter 1 was Isaiah 49:23, “Then you will know that I am the LORD. Those who hope in me will not be disappointed.” While some of the events of our lives may cause us to bend, and almost break, we can rest assured that the end result will not lead to disappointment.

  191. When you talk about wanting to go home from your event and just do something totally familiar, this really struck a nerve. When I know I need to do something, I tend to go into avoidance mode. Because I have lost all confidence in myself, I have such a terrible time just stepping out and doing what I know needs to be done. Not for the first time, I have broken my husband’s trust by mishandling our finances, and letting it go so long we are in dire straits by the time I tell him about it. I am so lucky and blessed that he loves me and has no wish to leave me for what I have done, but I have to find a way to change. He thinks I do not trust him, when it is my own lack of self-worth that causes me to withdraw and hide. I need to trust God so that I can learn to trust myself and be the wife my husband deserves.

  192. Hi Ladies and Renee,

    I am very glad to be doing this study as well! I find myself relating to what Renee said about the fact that “doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time. We need hope that life can be different. Otherwise, doubt will win every time and our hearts will be eroded by attitudes and emotions of defeat.” I am constantly putting myself down with negative talk and, all too often, live within the realm of defeatedness and hopelessness, feeling as though my weaknesses will never get any better. I have gone through a lot in the past 5 years, from losing my mother to cancer and then having my marriage of over 28 years end in divorce. Through all of that I have struggled a ton with my weight and, because of that, how I feel that I am less of a person and viewed by others as unworthy and incompetent. Of course, most of this is probably not reallly how others view me, but how I perceive that they view me. I am hoping that through this study, I can gain confidence and more fully understand the truth of how God sees me. I am also hoping I can break this cycle of negative thoughts and attitudes about myself. The verse that I am hanging onto is Isaiah 43:18-19 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” God can take my past and turn it into something good and new and as refreshing as streams in the desert! What a glorious promise to have!

  193. When I started reading the forward I knew that this book was for me. I am really scared and excited all at the same time. I also carry around a cup and ask everthing/everyone “will you fill me”. When those temporary fillers go away I feel so sad, angry and alone. I start to feel ashamed and just broken. When I started reading the chapter and I got to page 23 ” Perhaps you are good at hiding your doubts and no one but you knows the parazlyizing power that they have on your life”. I am parazlyed. Pralyzed by the fear that I will never be able to get out of this up and down cycle. This cycle of doubt. I feel like I pray, but deep down I know I don’t because the thoughts I am not enough, my prayers aren’t good enough, I will never change all run through my head. I’ve had this book just under a year. I only made it through two chapters on my own. I’ve been waiting for an online study FOREVER. When I read the first chapter today, I felt peace and encouragement come over me. On Page 25 Renee says “so lets pray these promises out loud again and again” I was sitting in subway and I just wanted to start praying out loud!! I knew right then and there that if I pray out loud over and over again to God with all my heart, put all my heart into this study, the self doubt will get less and less. I felt a glimer of confidence.

    I pray that other ladies out there who feel broken and alone start to feel that same confidence to as they read the book. I pray that we can call come together and lift each other up and help each other remove that self doubt from out hearts and fill it with praise for God!

  194. Michelle Johnson says:

    First let me begin by thanking you and God for this wonderful opportunity. I just happened to one my email with an adverstisiment for the book and study group and I truly believe it was God putting what I neede right in front of my face, literally.
    The sentence(s) that resonate with me the most are: “As a child I doubted I was worth keeping”. I never felt that I was good enough in my parents, teachers, or anyone of importance eyes. I was compared to my brother, I was disregarded, I was made to feel insignificant and that I really didn’t matter. Another sentence that resonates is the doubt whispers “never have the confidence I need”, that no matter how hard I try it doesn’t matter. Having said that, there are sentences that filled me with hope and resonated in a positive way, the one that does it the most is “doubt and hope can’t live in our hearts at the same time”. Sometimes the simplest statements have the most power and this one does for me. Hope and doubt are fighting for space in my heart and I have to stop letting doubt win.
    The most relatable part of the story for me was large looming shadow of doubt, bigger than myself.

    I’m grateful for this opportunity to share in this experience with everyone and am thankful to God that I actually looked at my email that day to be able to be a part of this!

    • Michelle, I am so glad that God directly you to this study. God’s ways and timing are always perfect. May He guide you through this journey.

  195. The paragraph on page 22 “These are the voices of insecurity that cast shadows of doubt over our perspective and keep us from becoming the WOMEN we want to be – the WOMEN God created us to be. Self-doubt blocks the promise of God’s power and truth to change us from the inside out so that we can live with a confident heart”. Wow! That is powerful. This totally is the truth. The voices we hear are usually not real and the voice of God is. (I have plenty of voices that prohibit me from being that beautiful WOMAN that I want to be-no I am not a mental case – just insecure thoughts that get the best of me). And as Renee wrote, this gets old.

    We all need or at least I do listen to Gods voice because we are wasting our time and energy on things that are not real with those voices. God doesn’t want us to live in the shadows of doubt. If we hope in him and give those insecurities to him we win, God wins. To know that God who made each one of us different and beautiful in our own way, we need to look in the mirror and recognize how lucky and beautiful we are as a WOMAN. We need to look in that mirror and say thank you God for making a beautiful woman inside and out and walk with our heads held high and our hearts open to Gods words. Lastly as Renee writes, doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time. I choose hope! Hope through myself, other women and God.

    Thank you Renee for coming into our hearts and souls. You are touching the hearts of many……….especially mine.

  196. “You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light.” This resonated with me and hit me like a ton of bricks. Before I had went through my first divorce my relationship with the Lord was ever growing, I was speaking to Him and He was speaking with me, life was great. Then I went through the first divorce and yet another divorce and here I am two divorces and lacking in confidence I once had. When I read the above sentence I to myself , that the Lord spoke to Renee, i thought “That’s it I have turned away, I mean I have my relationship with the Lord, He has gotten me where I am today, but it’s not no where like what it use to be like.” I feel Him and see Him work but because I have turned away, not reading like I should, not talking like I should, not doing what I should I am becoming consumed with self doubt. I have always been pretty confident with the Lord’s help up until now and my life decisions have caused me to doubt and try to figure out where i have went wrong and in doing so without Him which has allowed self doubt to creep in and it reek havoc. I am feeling the havoc, at home and with my extended family, at work and pretty much every where. I am looking forward to turning back to the Light and gaining my Confident Heart back that I have lost do to my past failures. So excited about this study God Bless you all and all the ladies participating may we all walk away more confident in our hearts!!!

  197. The one thing that I have already been growing in and was mentioned in Chapter 1, is not just believing in Him, but BELIEVING Him. I mean really believing Him. I have prayed often in my christian walk, Lord I believe, help thou my unbelief, and He is answering that prayer.

  198. Elizabeth says:

    What do you think hinders you most from living with God-confidence on a consistent basis?

    I wish I lived with more God-confidence in all areas of my life, but I’ll share my work issue here tonight.

    I work at one of the largest universities in the world. I love it there. I love the people. BUT (and it’s a BIG BUT), no one discusses faith at any point, ever. In fact, it’s really seen as a weakness…anti-intellectual…etc. So, I hide it at work because I’m afraid of what people will think. I fear that it will hinder my success there. I’m ashamed of that. So ashamed.

    I’m working to be “in the world” but not “of the world.”

    • Right there with you. I own my own business and always want to keep everyone happy. I dont bring up faith or religion much at work because its easier to avoid making others uncomfortable. I am ashamed that i dont talk about it for fear of judgement/criticism from others…or that i wont be able to “defend” my beliefs. Its very frustrating.

  199. Lindsey,
    Feel the fear and do it anyway is a remarkable book to read. God has amazing things for you. Trust in
    the Lord with all your heart and soul. Thanks for sharing and take care Godbless ๐Ÿ™‚

  200. Looking forward to connecting with all of you that seek His will and His promises. May we lift each other UP as we move forward….growing closer to His truths, and not the lies of the enemy. Praying that we all learn a little more about the heart of God and how it intertwines with our heart. Let’s be confident!

  201. Brenda Williams says:

    The statement that stood out to me was, “Just like my shadow on the wall was distorting my shape, my doubt was distorting my thoughts and overpowering my emotions with confusion and questions.” My head knowledge knows that God loves me and I am living in His will to the best of my ability, but Satan works full-time sending doubts as I constantly compare myself to others, and fall into those shadows. If I can just recognize when I’m looking at shadow so I can turn back around!

  202. Two things stuck out to me when starting to dive into this devotion in chapter 1:
    “Doubt robs of us joy”. This is SO true and I’ve seen this in so many areas of my life over the years and I’m DONE. Jesus said, ‘it is finished” and I need to cling to that promise!! I want joy and I want it for myself and for my family. Just as Renee pointed out, that “self doubt blocks the promise of God”, I need to meet this issue head on and make it a part of my daily life because it’s no longer welcome to rob me of any of Jesus’s love for me and HIs plans for me.

    The 2nd point I felt impressed on me was that this, like anything, is a process. Today is step 1 in the right direction. This is me moving out of the shadow and into the light. I’m glad to have someone to go through it with!

  203. As I was reading the chapter, I was thinking about when I lost my confidence. I have had it so many times in my life, and had to regain it many times also. Obviously, I haven’t mastered it. After the breakup of my first marriage, I was completely broken … but God was so faithful to put people in my life to encourage me along the way, and I rediscovered strength and confidence in Him. Then he put an amazing man in my path, and my life changed completely. As much as I love him, it has been a tremendous adjustment to move out of state with my husband and leave behind friends, family, job, and a tremendous church family that supported me through so much before. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am where God wants me to be, doing the work that He had planned for me when we moved. So why do I feel such a lack of confidence in so many areas? I am looking forward to what God has in store for this journey.

  204. Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, for the Lord will be his confidence…..I have prayed this many times throughout the day today & feel it has helped me manage my insecurities and self doubt. Thank you for making it easier to “stand in the light” on this day!

  205. The sentence that stood out to me was “perhaps you are good at hiding your doubts and no one but you knows the paralyzingly power they have on your life.”. I struggle with having to appear to always have it together when the reality is I definitely do not. Natalie Grant’s song “The Real Me” pretty much sums it up! I want to be confident enough in myself that I can be real with those around me.

  206. Patricia says:

    The sentence that spoke to me in a personal way was “The God of hope is calling you out of the shadow of your doubts so you can live with a condifent heart!” I know God is calliing me to a higher level in Him but everytime I move forward, the doubt or fear paralyze me from being all God has called me to be.
    Renee, I could so relate to your story. I have an assignment at my church this week and I am trying not to allow doubt to come in and hinder what God would have me to do for His glory! I thank you for sharing because it opened my eyes to see what it really is that is causing this roller coaster ride in my christian journey. I am excited about what God is going to do in all of our lives during this online study. Be blessed ladies and let’s keep each other lifted in prayer.

  207. I was very glad to read that God says with confidence that things can change on page 23. “See I am doing a new thing!” “I am working all things together for good, because you love me and are called according to my purpose.” ” All things are possible to them who believes.” Those verses gave me such comfort and power to know that God is there and He can change things for the good. Blessed to be a part of this study!!!!

  208. Brittanygintn says:

    Somehow I accidentally read the foreword and I now realize it was no accident at all. I don’t think I’ve ever spent an hour and a half really STUDYING God’s Word! But the TRUTH just jumped out over and over again – as if to say HEY YOU – YEAH, you say you can’t really get into my Word, well, let me put it to you another way! I bought my book, my journal, had my Bible ready and even bought a keychain that you can write your own scriptures on! I wrote every scripture listed and on the back of each card I wrote the “TRUTH” that it was speaking directly to me! I didn’t realize God DOES want to speak to me! I’ve been paralyzed for so long, that it’s become my identity. I’ve owned fear so much that I can’t imagine freedom. I’ve hidden behind my facade for so long, that I can’t even fathom what living breathing promises in my life will even look like! But, tonight, I lay it all down. I will no longer simply “go through the motions” – I will be vulnerable even to the point of embarrassment. I’ve been “operating as a Christian” for almost 19 years now, but just now feel like I’m going to actually encounter Christ. He hasn’t been lost….I have. I’m ready to take this on…with everything I am!

  209. Renee, I first heard the story you shared about the ‘shadow of doubt’ on Women’s Ministry.net, when you did a guest video. That story made a tremendous impression on me! And it was also my introduction to you!

    The timing of this Bible study with the current events in my life couldn’t have been more appropriate. My husband submitted his paperwork for a May 1 retirement so we can go into full time ministry. It’s a huge leap of faith!

    My earliest memory of feeling insecure is from when I was between 8-10. Long story. And it’s definitely kept me from stepping out before. What doubt whispers to me is, “You’re not good enough; you can’t be good enough — you’re broken inside.” When I read Scriptures like Isaiah 49:23 and 43:19 and Romans 8:28, it makes my heart flutter. It’s weird. And I’m not sure I can explain this … I know how those Words apply to my current life and try to live in belief … but with regard to past events … they still have a stronghold. So, full circle, the thing that most hinders me from living with God-confidence is that whisper, “You’re not good enough.”

    A woman with a confident heart … she’s humble–secure in and quick to acknowledge God’s provision and direction.

  210. Monica L says:

    I am very excited about this online study. I realized after reading chapter 1 that I do struggle with self doubt even though most people would say I am a very confident person. I too seem to second guess myself and my self worth. I find myself saying, you could never do that or I will never have the confidence I need to get there. What spoke to me most was page 22 ” you can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light”. I also loved the ” It’s not supposed to be this way” paragraph. I am going to start praying God’s word out loud! I love the statement “When we pray God’s words out loud and hear them, the Holy Spirit engraves them on our hearts and writes them in our thoughts.”

    Thank you to everyone and Renee! I have spent hours reading over your comments and already know that God is working through this study!

  211. John 12:13
    They took the branches of the palm trees, and went out to meet him, and cried out, “Hosanna! Blessed
    is he who comes in the name of the Lord, the King of Israel!”

  212. its hard for me to put my thoughts down on paper, its really hard for me, so i will try to explain this the best i can, i am in a season right now where i have noone to encourage me , that i hear from God that i know what He said, i still have those doubts, even after i have obeyed things He has told me and seen it come to fruition. I want to have a confident heart so i dont have to suffer with these doubts anymore, im sick of them. God bless all.

    • Lisa, I pray that God works through this study to help you to release your doubts and fears. I also pray that this online community will be a great source of help and encouragement for you.

  213. I am a notorious people pleaser, and i always put way too much pressure on myself for fear of letting others down or not living up to expectations. I am overly critical of myself and constantly doubt my abilities to ” measure up”. Ive always searched for approval and praise and am quickly disappointed when the same is not done for me in return or if what i do is overlooked. My self-doubt and insecurities makes it hard to live life to it ffullest. Reading through so many posts helps me realize that God places certain situations in your path to build you up, make you stronger, and provide comfort in knowing we are never alone. Looking forward to some breakthroughs and changes in the way i think about myself…and shifting that to how God views me: perfectand complete! Thankful for this study already. Thanks to all who shared their stories!!

    • Wow, meggen,
      Reading your post was like reading something I had written about myself….We are so much alike….although I take up a notch further by including God in the pleasing …I want to make him smile but I feel like I am always letting him down…I feel like no matter how many times he brings me to something I never learn it without screwing it up first! I am hoping that I learn through this study to let go of all this pleasing stuff and just start living out his will for my life!

  214. Oh sweet friends, how I wish I could leave a comment and a prayer on each of your notes. My heart is bursting with so much emotion – joy that you’re hear, sadness for your hurts, hope for you healing, thankfulness for this time together.

    He is up to something big. Jesus came to set you free!! It’s time for the enemy to be defeated. Can you imagine the power of this many women shutting down our doubts and letting God replace every single lie and insecurity with confidence and truth. Oh my goodness, generations can be changed. The world can be changed.

    You are so much more than you think. You are chosen, called, pursued, valuable and loved. And you are about to be redeemed from all that has held you back. Let Jesus have His way my friends – give HIM your WHOLE heart tonight. Invite HIM to erase what was and make room for what is – He’s come for you!! He wants to love you into a place of beauty from the ashes. I can’t wait to watch His glory increase in each of your lives!!!

    All for HIM!

    • Thank you for this study! I was a little hesitant doing a study online because I wasn’t sure how it would work out, but I am enjoying it so far and reading what all the ladies are posting. I feel like I am in a rut right now and suffering from “stinkin thinkin.” I know it is because I am not consistently in His Word and I love the reminder from Ch 1 to pray scripture out loud. It’s nice to know someone is in my (our) corner and praying for us ladies out here who need some encouragement. It’s time for a change in my way of doing life and I’m hoping and praying to turn a corner soon!

  215. I can’t wait to see what God has in store! I am ready to have a Confident Heart, I am so tired of Lu ing in the shadows of my doubt, it is something I struggle with not just daily but hourly! I am to really believe Him and relying and praying His words. I pray that I will be able to cast away the shadows and always look toward the light!!

  216. Rosemary says:

    I am so excited to start this Bible study. For a long while, I have been living in the shadows of doubt and hopelessness. I am ready to allow God to light my path into freedom and confidence! I will also be sharing my journey on my Facebook. I know there are some who are in the same place as I am and I want to encourage those to trust in our LORD!!!

  217. Jennyp1973 says:

    one of the many phrases that resonated w/ me was ‘doubt will win every time and our hearts will be eroded by attitudes and emotions of defeat’…growing up w/ a teen mother and a bio-father who abandoned us…trust was not something I even had a concept of. I had so many moments where I would cry & ask God ‘why’…those moments carried over into my marriage and adult relationships. The only thing I had confidence in was my ability to take care of myself & not rely on anyone. I grew up feeling defeated, cheated, rejected, abandoned, unworthy, unloved. It took me 13 years and a lot of therapy to surrender to my sweet husband’s love…I could not be confident it was sincere.

    With the help of extensive therapy, loving spouse, loving safe friends, I was able to do a lot of healing. This book came at right time after almost a year of my therapist walking me thru Search for Significance…I have been praying for my heart to believe & have confidence in His love for me. I am looking forward to buliding on the truths I learned in Search for Significance, however geared towards my female heart. Always room to grow & stretch in my relationship w/ the Lord…and gaining God-confidence in my heart to finally have rest in Him.

  218. Jeannine says:

    I’m already being encouraged! On page 24, I love your statement “…when I choose to dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in Him, I have a confident heart.” I also love that you included a verse that has a very special meaning for me – “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” (Is 43:19). I am grateful to be reminded of His promise that even in the darkest valleys where we can feel so alone and feel like we aren’t doing anything right, God is right there with us, making something new out of the waste. Love it!!

  219. I relate to your story, Renee, first hand, especially when you spoke about newlywed marriage and trust issues. This was a big struggle for us initially. But with God’s help we have been able to address this concern and move forward into a more rewarding marriage.

    More recently, God has been speaking to me and calling towards a new line of work, but as much as I want to persue His calling, I get so far and then let doubt and the “negative energy” pull me down and tell me I can’t do it because I’m not god enough. This first chapter has already given me a boost of confidence to turn back towards the light and forge ahead because He will be there to help me every step of the way.

  220. I thank you for writing this book and am very excited about this bible study. I can really relate to you saying that you were needing someone to “fill your cup.” This book came to me at the best time it could have. I really need to reconnect with God and need to gain a lot of confidence. I am currently a single mom of three children. I am going through a divorce from an abusive husband. I am very broken and torn to shreds as are my children. I am really looking forward to moving along in this book and already feel after reading the first chapter that this is truly a blessing.

  221. Stephanie says:

    Reading this chapter reminded e of two key things my mother said to me when I was a teenager that sort of governed the way I look at myself the rest of my life. The first thing she said was in response to a question ,y older brother posed to her when the three of us were in our kitchen. My mother and I were working on a cake or something like that at the counter next to the stove. Mom was criticizing something I was doing and my brother said ‘mom, do you ever praise Stephanie for anything?”. Mom’s response was ‘when she does something worth praising I am sure I will.” The other time was when I was about 17 and not very slim. She said to me ‘it’s no wonder you don’t have a boyfriend. You don’t have a very pleasing package.” This was mom’s way of encouraging us to fix a flaw. Hurt my feelings but mom did’t care. There was a problem and it had to be worked on.

  222. “You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light.. Turn back to the light ” This speaks to me when doubt, insecurities etc fill me. Which seems to be a lot lately.

  223. I love the words and assurance from the prayer: “my confidence is in Christ and I am no longer one who shrinks back and is destroyed, but one who believes and is saved.”

    I am going to “dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in Him”.

    Thank you.

  224. Kristina says:

    I realize as I read these comments that I am not alone! Hallelujah! I have felt like God’s promises and blessings were for everyone but me. I’m not important enough, I don’t do enough, why would God notice a loser like me? I don’t even know why I think that way, since I have a pretty darn good life. But I pray that this study helps me realize these negative thoughts are not God’s thoughts. I plan to pray the prayer from chapter one at least twice a day until the next week. I need to engrave God’s promises in my heart so I don’t forget that I am very precious to God (Daniel 10:19).

  225. Expecting God to do a ‘New’ thing! Yes, I am so ready to let God’s Word change the way I think, which will determine the way I feel and eventually change the way I live! (pg. 24). I am extremely excited to be part of this study! Thank you Renee for your obedience to God, and allowing Him to use you in such a monumental way!

  226. What really resonated with me were the thoughts of “I can’t do this. It’s too hard.” I must say these things to myself a zillion times a day, often from the moment I wake up.

  227. I really enjoyed the first chapter, and it really sang out! I was once very trapped in self doubt, stuck in criticism, and it was faith in God, a great husband that brought out the “sunshine” and the fact that we can just NIKE it… just do it! I look forward to the next chapters.

  228. This is the very first time that I have ever taken part in an online study… And of course, my insecurities told me “This isn’t for you… These women are spiritual women. You are mediocre at best!” Then God spoke to me and said, “this is exactly what you need.” So here I am.

    The sentence that really touched my heart was this: “As God’s girls, we need to know and believe that change is possible.” I believe change is possible and I believe this study is my starting point.

  229. This study comes at a perfect time, i was looking for a resource to delve into God’s word. With being a mom, working and going to school Full time. I felt guilty spending anymore time outside of the house. I love that i can dig into his word from the comfort of my home and i’m able to spend time with family.
    I related with your personal story, i was born to parents with a serious drug addiction. Because of this i was constantly being shuffled from my mom to my grandparents house. I felt so out of place everywhere i went.
    While reading that 1st chapter of the book that the thing that spoke to me was Rom 12:2 “the way you think, will determine the way you feel and eventually transform the way you live”
    My grandfather was a pastor and i always remember him telling me that we dont go by what we feel. I thought it was such an odd concept but as i’ve gotten older i understand what he was trying to tell me. Feelings can at times be paralyzing.

  230. Katherine says:

    The first thing that spoke to me was the fact Renee has pointed out the shadow of doubt is a distorted figure. It is truly much larger than it should be. We have imagined it to be more powerful than it actually is and a certain force has helped it grow larger than than the real true size of the fear. God allows us to step into His light and the shadow shrinks and disappears.When we walk in the light of His fellowship doubts will disappear and we can have confidence to do anything.God has spoken that perfect love casts out all fear. 1 John 4:18

  231. the part of chapter one I related to the most was when she said, “The unknown is too scary. Although youโ€™ve been miserable, at least the misery is familiar where you are now.” and “Doubt keeps us from believing things can get better. Doubt convinces us that itโ€™s not worth the effort”. I truly believe nothing will change for me. I will always be stuck where I am mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And where I am is so familiar its comforting in a sad and twisted way. Thinking about changing is scary, I get discouraged, and feel alone and ashamed I feel this way. I understood where Renee was coming from when she started doubting herself. I know deep down there is this amazing I am meant to be. I just wished I could see her the way others did.

    • I know the feeling, i’m just about done with my Bachelor’s degree. I had been doing the same job for over 8 years, in the same place. With graduation nearing, i thought it was time to get our of my comfort zone. Even though i felt miserable at my job, it was what i knew.
      I just started a new job 2 weeks ago, i believe that God started working on me leaving, pushing me out of my comfort zone..
      I understand how you feel, we have to have faith and go out there

  232. Funny when I signed up for this I knew it was something I could benefit from, then the book came and guess what happened? I heard a voice say “no, this isn’t for you”! But -I am here. I want a confident heart ! I want the Father to mold my heart so the doubt can stop! Doubt in His love for me when I fall short, doubt in trusting the Father in my husbands faithfulness to me, doubting that I am a good mother after being given a second chance to have another child, 20 years after my first. Doubt that I can be the head of my church’s prison ministry after all I did 8 years in there and the Father has indeed equipped me…still I doubt after He has shown me so much. …. I look forward to His transformation in this journey – Thank you

  233. “We will find our heart’s confidence in Christ as we learn how to rely on the power of His promises in our everyday lives.

    I continue to work on relying on God’s word all day. It all seems so right and easy in the morning as I complete my daily devotions. Then I reach then end of the day and realize how littleI went back to God’s word throughout the day. I believe this is the key to my confident heart. Let the journey begin!

    • Charlene says:

      Hi Sasha,
      That sounds just like me. I awake early in the morning to be with Him and am blessed with peace and happiness. Then my day starts…busyness, difficult family situations and noticing my own weaknesses causes my insecurity to grow.
      This insecurity is going to stop because I can see how much it is robbing me of joy, doing good deeds and holding me back.
      I agree with you, the key is to return to His words throughout the day and think on them and allow them to create confidence. His words prevent doubts and fears from being planted in our hearts.

      “You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light.”
      I hope you are able to find ways to return to His word throughout the day. Thanks for sharing.

  234. My husband died it will be 6 yrs ago this June. I married him when in was 18…was married 23 yrs when he died….I recently was dating a man for almost 3 yrs, I knew he was not who God had chosen for me but because of my insecurities and doubts I stayed in this relationship much longer then I knew I should of. It has only been 2 months since I broke up with him so my heart is still healing, but I let this man shake my foundation…and create even more insecurities then I already were battling…I am hoping this book helps teach me how to be so confident in myself that I can never be shaken again!! I know God has a plan and purpose for my life but it has been hard dealing with the loneliness….I want to believe God more then anything!! that’s why I am here doing this study!…:)

    • Pam, my husband also went to be with Jesus after 30 years of marriage and I was devastated, but God in His faithfulness has brought beauty out of the ashes and I believe that’s what He wants for you too!
      Hearts need time to heal and 2 months is not a long time, I will pray for your heart and for your loneliness!!
      Please stay with this Bible study to the end, I know it will help you to heal and to grow in His strength.
      He is faithful and you are worthy of His love. Take all you thoughts captive and align them with the truth about who you are in Jesus! He loves you and you are His creation, perfect in His eyes.
      I would ask others to pray for Pam too, being a widow is so hard and you don’t know until you get there yourself!

    • I’m so sorry for what you have gone through. I married my now ex husband at 18 and we were together for 18 years and my boyfriend of over 1year recently broke up with me.

      Regret is a bitter pill to swallow and harder the older we get.

      I pray we all get the doubt out of hearts and the hope back in.

  235. Joyce,
    Thanks your absolutely right time to get out
    of our comfort zone. Thanks for sharing take
    care Godbless ๐Ÿ™‚

  236. I too am SO excited for this study! The Lord has been calling to me recently but I’ve been struggling to listen to HIM and hear what HE has to say. I’m praying that through this exercise and lots of prayer that I will learn to trust in HIM by trusting in HIS words. I’m ready to stop asking others to fill up my heart shaped cup and learn to lean on HIM!

  237. Ann Marie says:

    The part about not just Believing in him…but Believe him. That really hit home…my lack of trust interfers with me believing in to many things. “Those that hope in me will not be disappointed” thats what it all boils down to. If we do not trust others or ourselves then how do we trust in God. I believe this study will be a huge lesson in trusting God, myself and others. If I can trust God then I feel like I will learn to trust myself and the lack of confidence will be erased and I can truly live the life I am suppose to live.

  238. I have often struggled with self-doubt but never associated it with being out of God’s will until I read “These voices of insecurity that cast shadows of doubt over our perspective and keep us from becoming the women we want to be -the women God created us to be.”. It is amazing how one sentence can change your entire perspective. I am a (very new at it) single mother and am continually trying to build my two young daughters’ confidence. This has shown me a new way to show them that their doubts are not of God and believing those doubts will make us fall out of God’s will. Thank you, Renee, for sharing this angle of self-doubt in your study!

  239. Jfrink,
    Fear is a huge blocker in people’s lives. We
    just have to have faith. Thanks for sharing
    Godbless ๐Ÿ™‚

  240. Jfrink,
    We’re never alone plus God is in our lives.
    So we’re very lucky that we r not Alone.
    Thanks ๐Ÿ™‚

  241. Laura,
    Your absolutely right so we can’t let the
    enemy win God wins and that’s awesome.
    Godbless ๐Ÿ™‚

  242. “As God’s girls, we need to know and believe that change IS possible”!!! Amen!! With trusting in God our hearts can be changed and WE CAN have A Confident Heart! I tend to pray daily not only for God to help me have a confident heart but I pray for God to help all of us have one, we can’t do it on our own! God is almighty and with Him we can be confident women for God!

  243. Welcome Jfrink glad we r in this together.

  244. It’s funny how lack of confidence can almost keep me from posting ๐Ÿ™‚ My lack of what to say and how to say it always seems to creep in…..
    I loved the part about seeing the shadows because of turning away from the light. I don’t feel I’ve as much turned away but just not listened. I’m somewhat afraid of the light for what I might hear? If I don’t stop and listen I can’t hear what He may be asking and with that I’m thinking if He doesn’t ask I cannot fail him.
    I am excited to begin this study. I read the book last summer on my own but hope to gain more this time working as a group.
    Thanks Renee!

  245. Whitney H. says:

    I’m feeling so much better after reading some of your posts…I know for sure now that I’m not alone in my struggles. I’ve grown up in a Christian home all my life, and since about my freshman year of college have really started to grow my relationship with Jesus. However, I have so many moments when I feel a little out of touch with Him, not able to overcome my own emotions. From there it spirals into thinking that I’m failing or doubting God because I’m not as “strong” as I should be. I’m praying that through this online study I’ll be able to realize that I don’t need to rely on MY strength, but to fully trust Gid to be all that I need, and not rely on my own understanding, to know He’s equipped me to get through all the things He allows to cross my path. This is my 2nd time reading ACH, and 1st time doing the online study, I’m hoping discussing it with a group will help expand what I’m reading/thinking. I think a few of the sentences that jumped out at me were “You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light.” (Pg 22) “God doesn’t want us stuck in a cycle of defeat or living in the shadows of doubt. He reminds us in Isaiah 49:23. (Pg 23) and “He’s led me beyond believing in Him to really believing Him by relying on the power of His words and living like they are true, no matter what my feelings tell me.” (Pg 24) that last sentence, about not letting feelings overtake is something I need to focus on. I have PTSD/anxiety, and oftentimes I let my fear take over and it becomes crippling. I’m hoping I can work through ths book again, and really “let go and let God”.

  246. What jumped off the page was the sentence “If God calls you to do something, shouldn’t you feel confident about it? Shouldn’t you want to do it?” I feel like God is pulling me to be more involved in my church ..and I am jumping in , but there is a part of me that hangs on the side not feeling that I am good enough….or worse yet that I will fail and drown in my inadequacies (whether real or imagined) I see that there are so many that can quote scripture as quickly as they can say their own name and then there’s me…a person who has trouble finding the verses during service. I feel like saying….”who me? you want me to do what?…You must have the wrong person.” Knowing that God just does not make mistakes helps me to keep going on…..but I am still afraid.

  247. Shannon C says:

    I have always felt self doubt in many areas of my life. The analogy of the large shadow really fit how I feel about myself. For many years I did not feel worthy of many different types of relationships. When I was young I did some things that could have ended me up in jail. By the grace of God I was not taken to jail, and was able to repay my debt without having anything on my record. This happened well over 20 years ago, and up until about 3-4 years ago I did not feel worthy, loved, and I even felt judged by people who didn’t even know my story. I finally was able to forgive myself, and move forward in my walk with Christ. Today something very similar is happening in my life only this time I did not do it, and at first all I could think was that was going to have to relive the terrible feeling of not being worthy, and being judged allover again, so the negatives started swirling in my head. Then I was invited to go to winter camp with the youth from our church, and the band there sang a song that said God worked all things for the good of those who believe, at that moment I just knew that God was going to perform a miracle, and find me innocent of this terrible thing I am being accused of, and he was using this terrible thing as a way to heal my family. At this moment I am 2 weeks away from my miracle, and my family is on the mend. So, I am standing in my belief that God does and is working all things for the good.

  248. Jennifer says:

    “Sometimes we agree with them and they become our own.”

    That sums up my life. I can tell you all the good things I should say and believe, but I won’t say them and I won’t believe them. They don’t seem like lies at this point; they’re the truth. I’m unloveable and unlikeable.

    I won’t say that I’ve read every comment, but I’ve read many, skimmed a lot, and even did a few keyword searches, and I don’t think there is anybody else (so far, at least) who has never married. Some are divorced or widowed, but at least someone loved them enough once to marry them.

    And I know, before someone tells me–don’t make marriage an idol, a husband won’t save you, you can still be lonely and be married, etc., etc. I know. But it doesn’t change the fact that I’m in my thirties and a guy has never even looked at me twice (or probably even once). In a Christian world where everything is about marriage and babies, I’m very much on the outside looking in.

    • Brittany B. says:

      Wanted to make sure you saw this!

      Laura says:

      April 2, 2013 at 1:16 am

      Someone posted something that broke my heart about a man never looking at her twiceโ€ฆbut I canโ€™t find it in the comments. I began praying for you (I believe your name is Jennifer) and a scripture popped into my mind immediately: โ€œAs it is written: โ€œEye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.โ€ But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit.โ€ (1 Cor 2:9-10)

      I believe God wants you to hold onto that promise. I will fall asleep praying for your precious heart

  249. Thank you Renee for offering this study. I love to study God’s Word and enjoy learning more and more. I am a facilitator of our Morning Bible Study at our church and just really felt that God told me to prepare myself for teaching more women about who we are in Christ and helping them to understand what God has for their lives. That is how I came to sign up for this study, I have been not only reading the Word but also have recently ordered more books that will help me minister to other women. I am a first hand believer in the fact that through Christ Jesus, we can overcome any circumstances and move from being victims to being victors through Christ Jesus.. Thank you and I look forward to learning from all of the women participating in this study. God Bless you!

  250. I alsp felt “spoken to” beginning in the forward. I have “daddy” issues. Rejection as a child, teen and adult from parents hurts. I think I am too old to feel this hurt and even anger at times. That I will outgrow these feelings but Im not in my mid 30s, married, with children and still experience these feelings. I too searched for love in all the wrong places. Going around with my little love cup asking any one and any thing to fill it up. What my cup was filled with was regrets the devil enjoys still reminding me of. God led me to a good, Godly man. But I wanted him to fix me and my brokeness. I learned through our marriage with Gods guidance I was putting too much on my husband. Its Gods job that He enjoys fixing our brokeness. I struggle so much with confidence still. Im a pastors wife. To think God would put me in this position is humbling, people ask me for counsel so I went to school because I wanted to give good counsel and feel adaquate. I still dont. I still feel so inadaquate in almost every area. Gods with me, I know this and cherish that, but I still feel like a failure and not good enough. I am looking forward to what the Lord is going to teach me through your words in this book. Thank you for letting me be able to open up in this safe environment. God bless.

  251. Bonnie Cummings says:

    I am very “ready” to quit letting satan have any hold on my life. After marrying the same man twice, this second time I realized how much my trust had been betrayed, and my confidence has suffered. I really trusted that he had changed, as he led me to believe for the first 10 months, but then I saw the same verbal, emotion abuses happening again, the same as it did the first time we were married. I wasn’t going to let it become physical abuse, as it did the first time though. I told him to leave in mid September. My confidence, self-esteem, finances, emotions, and self-worth has taken a beating. I want to believe in Him, and believe Him as you have said in your first chapter, and come to the realization of my worth in God…..not my worth to someone who has left me completely empty.
    I look forward to learning, and applying what God has for me, and all who share this wonderful journey.
    Thank you Renee

  252. I am so thankful for this study! This is one I really need, I have never had much confidence in myself even as a child I suffered with insecurities. From being bullied in elementary school to trying to find myself thru “other” avenues as a teenager. Getting married at 18, having two children to finding myself in a divorce at 28.
    Failures upon failures. Now married to a man who doesn’t love me anymore! Depressed yet?
    Three things that stuck out to me tonight in chapter 1 are:
    I need to hope that life can be different
    I must rely on the power of God’s words and live like they are true no matter what my feelings tell me
    I must dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in Him

    After reading the first chapter I believe God will help me, I don’t know how but I believe He will!

    • Thank you for sharing your thoughts. My insecurities developed from childhood from a mother who desperately wanted to be loved by my two step-sisters, not leaving room to love her own daughter; her never having time to listen to my thoughts and problems growing up and never having a godly father/male figure in my life to point me to Christ. I struggled all my life choosing other people and things to fill the void in my heart. It wasn’t until I became pregnant out of wedlock that God humbled and captured my heart through great mercy and grace and filled the deep longing in my life to have a godly father/male figure in my life. I am thankful for His unfailing love and that He chose to redeem my heart when I wanted nothing to do with Him.

      The same points that stuck out to you pierced my heart as well: I need to hope that life can be different.
      I must rely on the power of Godโ€™s words and live like they are true no matter what my feelings tell me.
      I must dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in Him.

      Praise be to God that “All things are possible for one who believes.” (Mark (9:23, ESV)

  253. He’s led me beyond believing in Him to believing Him by relying on the power of His words and living like they are true no matter what my feelings tell me (pg 23-24).

    These words remind me of how important the words of Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV) are, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do no lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge HIM, and HE will make straight your paths.” When we choose to trust in God’s words, and live by His promises, we will never fail. However, when our hope and trust rest in our weak and sinful flesh and we allow ourselves to be guided by our own thoughts and feelings, we are guaranteed to fail in every decision, situation, trial, etc. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:9, ESV) Therefore, our hope and confidence should rest in our God who is infinitely wise in all things and whose ways are perfect and holy..

  254. Brittany B. says:

    -I asked God-once again-to please take away my uncertainty. I hated feeling this way.
    -I mean, if God calls you to do something, shouldn’t you feel confident about it? Shouldn’t you want to do it? Shouldn’t self-assurance be part of God’s equipping?
    -I desperately wanted to move out of the shadow of my doubts, but all I could do was go through the motions and pray that God would zap me with confidence.

    These sentences are thoughts that run through my mind often. I found myself saying “I’ve said that before!” I cant pinpoint a moment where I lost my confidence or to be honest, if I ever really had it. But I know, I am positive that I want it. One of my main motivations is my 2 year old daughter, I dont want her to feel the way I felt growing up. I cant prevent everything but if I can show her what God can do, that’ll be the best I can do.My main reason for wanting it, I dont want to feel this way and neither does God! This chapter has literally given me hope that I havent felt in a while. I am excited to move forward. There is still doubt in the back of my mind saying “this wont work” but I am trusting in the Lord that I am in this for reason and I WILL be blessed!

    My favorite- Self-doubt blocks the promise of God’s power and truth to change us from the inside out so that we can live with a confident heart.

  255. Someone posted something that broke my heart about a man never looking at her twice…but I can’t find it in the comments. I began praying for you (I believe your name is Jennifer) and a scripture popped into my mind immediately: “As it is written: “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit.” (1 Cor 2:9-10)

    I believe God wants you to hold onto that promise. I will fall asleep praying for your precious heart.

  256. I have gone through a lot of hard stuff since becoming a Christian and this has seemed very confusing at times. However, one thing I heard from God over the Easter weekend was that what I have gone through has helped to chip away at my pride so I can let in more of his healing, love and grace in. I still have a ways to go but am grateful for how far I have come too.

  257. Thank you for this study. Thank you for daring to be so vulnerable with us… It gives us hope. Never did anything online before but for the study I’m diving in and looking forward to it. Feeling kind of broken right now but the Lord keeps showing me that he hasn’t given up on me so I’m going forward. Tried so many things to fix myself but all out of options and ideas, don’t don’t know how someone could know Jesus and still be such a mess but since hasn’t given up on me so I’m gonna take one step at a time. Thank you again.

    • Val, I am so glad that you decided to take this journey. I am praying for you as you take one step after another following God’s leading.

  258. So many sentences tugged at my heart as I read. Page 22 “Self doubt blocks the promised of God’s power and truth that change us from the inside out so that we can live with a confident heart.” I so want to change and have a confident heart. Page 23 “doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time”. It is my desire to break the cycle of defeat with the Holy Spirit’s help. Thank you for reminding us of the importance of praying God’s words. My greatest periods of victory have been when I pray God’s words.

    I so relate to your story, Renee. I so often listen to the lies telling me I am not good enough and I will always fail. It has been a life long struggle. My mom was not good at telling me she loved me. I developed very low self esteem because of the things she said at times. I know God loves me but I fall in the trap of wanting my cup filled by the wrong things instead of my Lord. I want a steady confident heart. He is all that really matters!!!

    Thank you for this study. God Bless

  259. I am really excited about this study and the topic really hits home for me. I started a new job this year and live in a new place. Everything has been new and scary. I have always struggled with doubt and insecurity, but have watched it become almost debilitating this year. Fortunately, God is good. He has gotten me through some really hard circumstances and has put excellent support systems in place for me, including this study. The part of chapter one that hit me the hardest was that Hod doesn’t want us to be stuck in a cycle of defeat or living in shadows of doubt. Renee gave a great analogy earlier in the chapter of how uncertainty creates such a huge shadow of doubt that is much larger than us. She then pointed out that doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time. I love this!

  260. Christy says:

    When I began reading this book I have cried just about on every page. It was like my story was being told the one I never told anyone. The parts that affected me most were “What;s wrong with me?” Always questioning if I am good enough to be loved or to love? I fee I have more self doubt and insecurity at age 50 than I have had in my life. You would like being a single mother all my child’s life who is now 24 years old that I would have these feelings more than I do now? Is it because I have stuffed how I felt and I was to afraid to ask for help? There are so many questions now reading this book will I ever be worthy?

    • Christy, praying for you today. May God strengthen and guide you in this journey. May you discover that your true identity is wrapped up in Him. You are loved, wonderfully made, worthy and so much to your loving heavenly Father.

  261. Priscilla says:

    My uncertainty had created a huge shadow of doubt. I often question my choices and wonder if I’m doing the right thing. I struggle with insecurities and fear of my choices. I often let new opportunities pass me by because I fear rejection. I also fear meeting new people. I just want to be accepted and I feel sometimes people won’t except me for who I am. I’m also having a hard time just typing this post, but I want to reach iut and move past this doubt and gain some confidence.

    • Cassandra says:

      I have let plenty of new opportunities pass me for the same reasons, I often feel like I have missed out on a lot because of it.

  262. Cassandra says:

    When I first saw this study I wasn’t sure if it was for me, God has done a lot of healing, but then God really placed it on my heart to do the study after all and I have realized that I really needed it. The sentenced that captured me the most was “As a child I doubted I was worth keeping.” You see, just a week ago I pinpointed my biggest insecurity, I have always felt unwanted. My father left when I was three to never return, I saw him twice between 3 and 21. I figured if my father didn’t want me how could anyone else, especially men. This has been a huge battle for me and eventually turned itself into a weight issue because now it is how can a man want a fat woman. I feel because of the original insecurity, which was too painful to handle, I found something that was easier to cling to and embrace, after all it fit the world’s standards of acceptable unwantedness. This journey, I feel, is going to be life altering. Thanks.

  263. I agree with Libby. The statement that resonated with me was that “doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time.” The enemy is so good at tempting us to do the things that will tear at our assurance and confidence, and then, after we give in to that temptation, he’s so good at smashing us down with condemnation. But, doubt can’t live in the same space as hope, so I’m going to choose to hang onto hope. I think that’s what it takes; a daily decision to hang onto hope and let go of self-doubt. God is the Master Carpenter, the Potter, and He doesn’t make junk! We are His workmanship, created for good things in Christ. No matter what satan himself declares, I can choose to grab hold of hope and not let go. It’s my choice!

  264. Anna Badger says:

    I didn’t have just one sentence that stuck out to me because I was just realizing how much of me I was reading about. I have struggled with self-doubt most of my life. So the words these pages were really hitting home and I can’t wait to dive into this study!!!

  265. With me it wasn’t my dad but my mom. I understand her situation a lot better now, and I have a daughter of my own whom I adore. Still, it was hard. I’m going to work on this study, but I’m also going to try to trust God to change me – because He’s the only one who can, really. I’m sick of doubt rotting me from the inside – on the outside I look great, but it’s not reality. I’m hoping that I really can learn to “take every thought captive to Christ” and let what Jesus tells me guide my feelings, not what my demons tell me.

    • I can relate with some of women here… the forward too spoke to me, It was my dad. Although I know my dad loves me and still does, he didn’t outwardly show it to me growing up and I sought seeking love from other avenues. I am truly looking forward to this journey! Revealing the Woman of God that I know lives in me and believing it by the Word He wrote!

  266. Leigh Ann Sells says:

    โ€œDoubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same timeโ€

    • Caitlin says:

      So true! When we see Jesus for who He truly is, and know our identity in Him, there is NO way to doubt. Nothing can hold you down in depression when Jesus is in your heart.

  267. Thank u Renee 4 opening up ur story about self-doubt & writing “A Confident Heart!” I am very encouraged by what God is going 2 teach me during ur Bible study.

  268. Melanie says:

    What resonated with me the most was the statement, my uncertainty had cast a huge shadow of doubt. This like your story is a reminder that no matter what stage of life or “stage of our calling” we are in these shadows can still creap in.

  269. Caitlin says:

    Waiting on God is so hard for me. I like to have it all planned out and as a soon-to-be college graduate, I especially want to know NOW what He has planned for my life. I want to follow Him and will do whatever it is He calls me to do in a heartbeat, even if its hard. I just want to know!

    The very first page of chapter 1 has Hebrews 10:25-26…”You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God you will receive what He has promised.” I want to truly have confidence that God will come through even when I can’t see Him working. When I don’t have this confidence, I feel purposeless and depressed. I want to turn away from focusing on my doubtful shadows and experience His light. Nothing can hold us down when we are focused on Whose we are assured of who we are in Him. I have read A Confident Heart before, but I need to be reminded of the security in Him and HOW to turn away from my doubts and rest in His love.

  270. Reading chapter 1 these words/verses really challenged and spoke to my heart. “You can only see the shadow (of self doubt) because you have turned away from the light. Turn back to the light.” This brings to mind Psalm 27:1a-The LORD is my light and my salvation, so why should I be afraid? Through this study and spending time in His word may I learn to rely/rest in the power of His words and really live like they are true no matter what I am feeling (because they are) and choose to keep my focus on Him and Whose I am and who I am in Him. When the enemy comes in and whispers in my ear “I can’t do this.” May my reply be I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

    I am excited about this study.

  271. Rosemary says:

    As I am reading more of the posts, I recall what my pastor said this Easter Sunday. He was talking how the devil tries to lie to us, such as “I am no good”, “I’ ugly” or in my case “I am not worthy”. We need to laugh at the devil and let him know he has NO authority over us! I did that last night. Doubts seem to come at night when I am tired. This time I did not allow it to stay. I am looking forward on going on this journey with all of you and looking forward to what God is going to do in our lives! Have a wonderful and blessed day and week!

  272. Okay, so I must have been looking at the wrong week 1 earlier, I saw the comments from last year and was confused. But what I was saying, was, Renee, thank you for the devotional this morning, from Encouragement for Today. It spoke volumes to me this morning. I am slowly getting started on the book and study, but starting none the less and going to complete. Thank you again.

  273. I am struggling with a situation now. I am filled with self doubt. Page 23 says that self doubt keeps us from believing things can get better. This is so true! I felt as though I should just give up. Although I am a committed Christian, self doubt robs me of joy. I plan to use scripture in my prayers as is written on page 25…”When we pray God’s words out loud, and hear them, the Holy Spirit engraves them on our hearts and writes them in our thoughts”. Thank you for these words of wisdom and hope in the Lord!

  274. Priscilla says:

    So much spoke to me… So much to embrace & lean towards when I feel unworthy & defeated . ” doubt & hope cannot live In. Our hearts at the same time”. Doubtful thoughts are the weeds which fight to strangle our flowers of hope & when struggling with this world , with a rocky marriage and it feels lately even easier to let the uncertainties & fears control our minds. Hoping through this study I can hear Gods truth over all the noise of self doubt & live like the confidant woman / child of the King he created me to be. โ€œSelf-doubt blocks the promise of Godโ€™s power and truth to change us from the inside out so that we can live with a confident heart.โ€
    I really need this. I really want to LIVE this … Iโ€™m always asking God to show me what He wants me to do, but then I let my doubt speak louder than Him. I hope that this study helps me to hear God & find my security in the promises He has for me & my family. I want to be a good confidant example to my children & my husband of Gods love

  275. Denise Croley says:

    For me also, I did not just see one sentence that stood out in my mind. I saw myself in what I read. Since 1988 I have had feelings of insecurities and self doubt. I have been married twice. My first divorce was in 1988, after 7 years of marriage and no clue. I finally thought I met someone, we had one child and when he was 3 divorced. He was mentally and physically abusive. After awhile after much soul searching and thinking that he had changed, we reconciled and we had another child. Well, he didn’t change and a year later we split up again and for good this time. That was in 2004. My children are 18 and 10. I am still trying to forgive him, but I can’t. After all the years of abuse (mentally and physically) and all the mind games that he did on my oldest son. He also does not have anything to do with my second child. It is very hard to forgive. I am trying, but it is so hard.
    Thank you Renee for writing A Confident Heart! I can’t wait to dive into the book and start learning.

  276. DebbieN says:

    I keep looking at the verse about “Those that put their trust in me will not be put to shame” I felt so rejected when I lost my job. My husband is retired as he lost his job two years ago. He’s not a Christian so I fell that I am responsible to keep up a good front saying how God will provide me a job. But inside – inside I am feeling that no way am I good enough, no way will I deserve God’s help.

    These are all untrue thoughts. I can’t say I never have victory over self loathing and evil thoughts of just end it. But I am grateful for this study because Jesus was already victorious and i can be too in him.

    I need to know and trust that God will indeed provide the job when the time is right and that not being hired after an interveiw is just practice ๐Ÿ™‚

    Most of my thoughts are you stupid loser. Wrong so wrong. So I want to change to be who God wants me to be and all the rest will follow.

  277. Good Morning,

    Thank you Renee and all of you wonderful ladies for the things that you have shared here. They are all so encouraging! I too have been through a divorce, have been abused by others and myself – we tend to be our own worst abuser sometimes. I did finally learn that none of those things will fill that void like God can. Indeed we were created for relationship – most of us spend a lot of our lives [me included] trying to fill that space and need for relationship with our Loving Father, with many other types of relationships. I am a social worker and I see it everyday – desperation in people’s lives and constant searching. Our God is selfish … He wants us to love Him above all. Once we reach that place of being completely and totally in love with Him that’s when the ride really begins – but we seem to not care because He has it all covered. The journey from where we are to where God wants us to be will not be easy, but oh so worth it! I am so excited to start this journey with all of you … have a great day!!!

  278. I’m so glad that God not only encourages us to have faith…. (faith in what His son’s life, death and resurrection can do in, through and for us), but that He has faith Himself. I have hope today because God has faith for me(us) and in me(us). It’s truly amazing seeing we can’t do one single thing to help ourselves but its true, God believes that we can make it. I asked Him today to give me ‘vision’ and to increase my capacity to ‘hear’ the truth, His truth which always comes with hope.

  279. Emmylou says:

    The verse that spoke to me was Isa. 49:23. As a 29yr old woman I have a strong desire to get married and start a family. This area in my life has been such a disappointment for me. This verse went straight to my heart. I know God’s timing is perfect but there are days where it becomes overwhelming and I become unsure of God’s goodness. I don’t believe He is calling me to be single. Doubt creeps in and whispers lies. I am ready to embark on obtaining a confident heart and I am excited to read the next couple of chapters!!

  280. The sentence that stood out the most was “doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time.” I am 46 and have had what I thought was a strong faith for many years until my daughter started having anxiety and depression three years ago. She is 15 now and still struggling and missing a lot of school because of her anxiety. The last three years have shown me how weak my faith really is, and I have allowed so much doubt to enter into my heart. I have felt so much anger at God for not helping her or show me how to help her. I can handle bad things happening to me but not to my child. I am hopeful after reading the first chapter that I can have hope again and believe that He works all things together for good.

  281. “Take CAPTIVE EVERY thought to make it obedient to Christ” 2 Corinthians 10:5

    I look at it like this: Think of your mind as an airport with lots of runways; the devil likes to send thoughts into your head that are not your thoughts but his lies( i.e. you’re not pretty enough, you’re unlovable etc), if you think of these thoughts as airplanes trying to land on your runway, you can choose to not let them land, because if they land they can become your thoughts. So you have control over what thoughts you accept as truth and what are lies from the devil. When he sends a thought into your head that is a lie, you can rebuke it it by thinking of a passage from scripture and quote it in my head as the truth from God. I don’t underestimate the power of negative thoughts, they draw us away from God and into the web of deceit of the devil. He hates that we are studying the word of God and will work especially hard to get us to quit! “Resist him and he will flee!” James 4:7

  282. I have always found it so much easier to believe God’s promises for everyone but so hard to believe them for myself. I have seen Him move and have prayed for Him to move in other’s lives. Its always been a blessing.
    I realize now it’s time to believe for me also. Not just everyone else. That He pursues me and wants to move in MY life as much as I have seen Him do for others. I need to quit dismissing that’s possible. To come to the realization its for me too. I have much to overcome in my own mind. That doubt is really deep within me. I did not realize just how deep until now. Hopefully that means God is getting ready to deal with that.

  283. Reyna Hart says:

    Thank you for this Bible study! This is just what I need. I have struggled for years wondering if I am truly saved and on my way to Heaven. I know that I have come to Jesus as a sinner and asked for His forgiveness and that the Bible says that I am saved, but I also have alot of insecurities over other things in my life too. Please pray that God will help me to overcome these doubts and fears through this study and that I will be able to live confidently in Him and serve Him the way He wants me to.

  284. I am a first time blogger. After reading about other’s who were struggling with the same issues as I, I knew I had to respond. Listening to Doubt’s Whispers (p22) spoke the loudest to me. It was like Renee was reading my mind when she listed those comments. “These are the voices of insecurity”…I thought I was the only one that heard these voices, and “no one but you knows the paralyzing power they have on your life”. I can really pull this one off. Just about every word of Chapter 1 was applicable to my life. I want to claim “He’s led me beyond believing in Him to really believing Him by relying on the power of His words and living like they are true no matter what my feelings tell me”. I’m so excited to begin this journey with all of you. I too want to desperately move out of my doubts and live a life free of depression, anxiety, and fear. Thank you Renee for listening to God and taking time out of your busy life to write your thoughts down so others do not feel alone and know there is hope through Jesus Christ. God Bless.

  285. Maggie,
    I can’t agree with you more God is amazing and we’re on a wonderful journey together.

  286. Cassandra,
    We can no longer let Fear stand in our way we’ve to trust in the LORD and not miss out anymore. My prayers are with you and thank you for being on this journey with me.

  287. Britney says:

    When I first heard of this book, I heard the voice of doubt right away. For a long time I had accepted all the thoughts that landed in my head to be mine. Not until a few years ago, was I even aware that “my thoughts” could be coming from the pit. I have to be very intentional and take captive negative thoughts that do not agree with what God says about His people. It is a daily, sometimes hourly practice. What I did not realize was that I was not always believing God. Sure, I believe in God, but did I believe what He said about others also for myself? That was trickier. I purposely Believe Him now, and what a change that has made to my heart. It is in accepting/believing God’s promises for myself that lets God into my heart to do the work that needs to be done. I felt fearful towards the looking back part of this chapter, but I realize that moving forward with victory is not possible unless I let God help me understand the lies that I have been carrying around. God will shine light on those lies, and reveal His truth for me.

  288. Liz,
    Your on the right path this is going to be a wonderful journey and am glad we’re on it together. John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; not as the world gives, give I to you. Don’t let your heart be troubled, neither let it be fearful.

  289. I am so grateful for this study and have already been so blessed by reading the posts from so many women who struggle just like I do. I know that God has provided me with this opportunity to study and be in this community of faith at just the right time! I have struggled with self-doubt my entire life. Growing up, I learned to always expect the worst and be surprised if something good happened.
    That being said, the parts of Chapter 1 that resonate with me the most are the imagery of the large shadow of doubt and hearing God whispering “You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light.” That is so powerful and I have already found myself hearing those words as doubt has crept into my thoughts today and I was able to turn back toward the Light.
    The other part that really challenged me was about finding lasting confidence by living daily in the security of God’s promises where Renee said “He’s lead me beyond believing in Him to really believing Him by relying on the power of His Words and living like they are true no matter what my feelings tell me.” I to pray that I can choose to dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in Him.
    I’m so excited to be on this journey with Renee and all of the wonderful sisters who are a part of this Online study.

  290. Some of the sentences that I identified with were: p.22 “You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light.” And p.23 “Over the past few years, I’ve found lasting confidence by living daily in the security of God’s promises.

    My problem is most often consistency. I take my eyes off of Jesus and struggle to live daily in His promises and end up trying to live and change in my own strength. Sometimes I’m frustrated because it seems there is so much for me to “do”. I feel I’ve done all I can and without much result. The reminder to turn back toward the light and to become consistent are a challenge but if I can do that perhaps Jesus can do the rest.

  291. As a 30+ never married woman, I have been filled with self-doubt regarding my purpose as I have an overwhelming desire for love and children. I relate well with Emmylou and agree that I do not believe I am called to be single as God would not have placed those heartfelt desires within me if that were the case. I recently was called back to a wonderful nondenominational church in my area and am inspired after reading the first chapter to get involved with service and small group Bible study within the church community. I know that working past my doubts around my frustrations of being single and childless will not be an easy thing but I trust that this book study will help.

  292. angela 2 says:

    Hi Sisters in Christ
    reading chapter 1&2 have really hit some soft spots and made me cry like a baby. I connected the most with Sam, I to have been married 4 times and i also live with a man ( 20 years now) and he has no plans to marry me. He has never been married or had his own kids but he has been a great dad to mine.The son we lost has hit him as hard as me. He don’t think God dose anything he is just something people can give blame or glory to when something happens.
    The only thing that really bothers me is he never give me incourgement on anything. He is always telling me I can’t do something

  293. angela 2 says:

    sorry had to go something has come up be back later. please pray for me.

  294. There was a lot that spoke to me in this first chapter. I loved the prayer at the end of the chapter. I plan on writting it down and putting it up on my bathroom mirror. I feel so relieved reading all these posts and seeing that I am not the only one who struggles with these things. I’d love to be able to tell you where it all started, but honestly I have no idea. Ever since I can remember I have had a really bad self image. I never thought I was good enough or pretty enough and I am constantly comparing myself to other people. My parents had me very very young, and my dad wasn’t around much. And if he said he was coming to get me he usually never came.I always wanted that “daddy’s little girl” relationship with him, so I tried everything I could do to please him. Which never worked, he always seemed more interested in what my two brothers were doing. And sadly enough that is still how it is today. That could be where all my self doubt issues came from but i’m not too sure. I tried to find my self worth in what guys thought of me. If they thought I was pretty or attractive I must be right? That only worked until I figured out what they really wanted from me, yet I still tried to find my self worth in every man I met up until I met my husband. Trying to find your worth in many many non-christian guys did a lot of damage to my image of men and A LOT to my trust. My husband is a GREAT christian man and I love him so much. I thank God so much for bringing him into my life and giving him so much patience with me. I have a really hard time trusting him when he has given me no reason not to. He reasures me every day that I am the only one he is interested in, the only one he loves and tells me that he is not leaving me no matter what happens. Yet for some reason I still can’t believe him. I know I have a lot I need to work on. I think starting with having confidence in myself. But for some reason I still see nothing good about me. I feel like I have nothing to offer God or my husband. I feel like my husband can find someone better than me, someone else who has talents or better looking. I’m praying that this book will change my outlook on things. I’ve tried to read it once, but got too busy to finish it. This time I am commiting myself to it, I NEED to start seeing changes. I NEED to start feeling important and like I matter. I know that these are not the thoughts and feelings that God intended me to have. Sorry so long, I tend to be very long winded ๐Ÿ™‚

  295. angela 2 says:

    Hi Roxanne
    You are not a lone beleive me. I’m at where you are and i hope this study changes that for all of us I will get back into my story later to night. My prayers are with all of us on this jounry together.
    God Bless

  296. Renee,

    Wow! First, Thank you for this Bible Study

    I have been praying about Confidence, Self Doubt and to develop a closer relationship to God. I came across your website I believe “The Lord guided me there”
    The First Chapter really resonated and was speaking to me right off the bat.. Like you were writing about me and were in my shoes..
    What really touched me was Doubt and Hope can’t live together in our hearts at the same time.. I have said that so many times.
    I am so excited to be on this journey. Since, God has given me the direction. Now, it’s up to me to learn all I can and do the work. God Bless

    • That resonated with me too, Angela. It really makes sense and helps put things in perspective. God Bless you as we start this journey.

  297. I was so excited about this online study, I couldn’t wait! But now, I got busiest schedule ever! I already doubt I won’t be able to keep up with you. ๐Ÿ™
    This is really something I’d like to do as I’ve been living in a huge shadow of problems and doubts for last 9 months.
    Thank you Renee and whole Proverbs31 team for your ministry.
    Be blessed!

  298. Erica Davidson says:

    I will be reading Chapter 2 this afternoon when my LO goes down for a nap. I have already felt satan trying to rob me of learning how to be confident. Last night I was in the most depressed state. My husband and I talked for a good while. I told him my doubts as a mom, as a wife, as a daughter in law to his parents who claim they are the worlds most perfect Christians. My husband said the one thing that I believe all this self doubt (in myself) stems from. I had unrealistic expectations of being a wife, a mother, etc. I believe this is so true, especially for my life. Having unrealistic expectations can rob you of enjoying your life just the way God imagined it. Hope you all have a wonderful day.

    Please be in prayer that as I continue with the study that satan will lose power over my happiness.

  299. I love the part in the prayer at the end of the chapter that says, “My confidence is in Christ and I am no longer one who shrinks back and is destroyed.” My husband and I have been together for 15 years and are working through infidelity. I’ve felt destroyed and hopeless, but I can see a new day dawning. It’s taken over a year to make our way out of the fog, but God is faithful and is bringing us out. This book/study has happened at the perfect time.

  300. Julia Pilson says:

    I can relate to Renee’s feelings regarding her mother. I never really bonded with my mother. I was the 4th daughter and felt I was the 4th disappointment (the son was number 5). My mother was not very affectionate and at times was scary. She was verbally abusive and physically abusive on occasions, not severely so, but being slapped across the face (both sides) during her rages, sure messed with my sense of value.

    Renee stated in chapter one that “as a child I doubted I was worth keeping”. That resonated with me, often feeling that if my mother could have sent me back, she would have. However, I was blessed with a wonderful father, who is the one I did bond with. And I am so thankful for him, he was my childhood hero!

    I grew up feeling like a big disappointment to my mom and later to my first husband, etc.
    But God saved me and revealed to me through one scripture, that I had a purpose and He ordained for me to be born and become His.

    That scripture set me free, and it was John 1:13: “children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision, or a husband’s will, but born of God.”

  301. Camlin Westen says:

    This Online Study is absolutely perfect for me and I am so thankful my friend forwarded me the information for me to be a part of this.

    Self-doubt, a lack of self-confidence is something I have struggled with and still struggle with for quite a long time. I’m 33 and can say it’s been a hard thing to let go. I’ve been married to a wonderful Christian man for 10.5 years now and have 2 kids. I have a successful home business, but I struggle. I.HAVE.A.TON.OF.SELF-DOUBT!!! I’ve struggled with that since I was a teenager and have added depression to that since my husband and I went through times of struggles almost leading to divorce and then when our son was born it was hard hitting post-pardum. Our son is now 6.5 and our daughter is 4 and the self-doubt, depression and lack of self-confidence is something I just can’t release fully to Him. I am praying this book will truly help me gain that confident heart I desire so much. Thank you Renee for writing this book and for having this online study. It’s nice to see others going through the same thing and knowing I’m not alone (not that I want to see anyone going through the same thing, but…you know what I mean.) I’ve struggled with this for so long it’s kind of like I don’t know myself any different. I’m scared to see what is under this self-doubt but I’m ready to really let it go, FOR.GOOD!!

  302. Should we begin reading Chapter 2 now? Or wait for an email? Sorry, just not sure how this all works. I posted yesterday but I don’t see my post on the page now.