Hi friends! I am so excited to start this “Confident Heart” journey with you!
We have almost 8000 women from around the US and the world signed up! I’ve been closing my eyes and picturing us gathering together in small groups (cause I’m a small group kinda girl). Anyhow, it’s so amazing to be here with YOU learning how we can live beyond our doubts by finding our security and confidence in the power of God’s loves and promises!
The first thing I want you to remember is: This is YOUR journey.
You’ll be reading the chapters. You will be asking and listening for God to speak to your heart. You’ll be the one who takes time to highlight sentences, promises and quotes you want to remember.
You’ll be looking for ways to apply and live what you are learning. You’ll be answering reflection questions and interacting with the group.
You’ll be doing the faith-work of not only believing in God, but really believing God.
I’ll be shepherding, leading, praying, encouraging, connecting and pacing us. I’ll be sharing more of my story – and inviting co-leaders who are helping me with the study to share theirs.
I’ll be praying for you, encouraging you, believing in you and challenging you – but you will make the heart investment and be the one who gets out pretty close to as much as you put in.
Here are a few IMPORTANT reminders:
What’s Needed: A copy of the book, a notebook, a Bible, and a ready-for-God- to-do-a-new-thing in you attitude!
When We’ll Meet: Because we’ll meet online, you can check in at your convenience any time of the day and week.
(Day 1) Assignment
Read the Acknowledgements. This will give you a peak into my current personal life and I’ll be asking you to share about yourself later this week too. 🙂
Read Chapter 1.
- If you don’t have your book yet, you can click here to read Chapter 1 .
- Highlight verses and sentences that grab your attention or tug on your heart.
- Write down what you sense God is speaking to your heart in the margins of your book or in a journal/notebook.
- If you’ve already read chapter 1, share your thoughts here. And then take time to look up the verses mentioned in the chapter prayer and answer the questions at the end of the chapter.
Connecting in Community: Click “Share Your Thoughts” below and let’s all answer this question:
What sentences in Chapter 1 resonate with your heart or speak to you in a personal way? How did you relate to my story in this chapter?
Coming from a divorced family I vowed never to do that to my children. My parents divorce left me feeling abandoned and unloved. Just the child who was bad and needed to be beat and do all the chores. My marriage of 33 years is struggling. I keep telling myself that God can make everything new, but I just don’t think it for myself. God healed my Mom of lung cancer, this past month. No medications just prayer. So I know he can do it. But my insecurities says others not me. We lost a child to cancer 30 years ago. God was with me the whole time. He kept giving me different Scriptures each day. He also gave me dreams of what was going to happen the next day so I was prepared. But that was then, it doesn’t seem to be now. Depression the past two years are the norm for me know. Each day trying to stay focused on other things. Im eager to read this book and do the study to get the confidence I need in Christ, so I can live for him again. Hopefully become a happy person again.
I also have such low self esteem, for so many years, don’t know how to get out of this cycle, I’m hoping this study will get me more confident in my self.
” ‘You’re not worth staying for’ was a lie, but it became the truth through which I filtered my worth in all of my relationships.” “What we need is someone who will pursue us and accept us even though we’re flawed.” My hope & prayer is that thru this Study, I will allow the head knowledge to move down and penetrate the very core of my being; to know that I can have a confident heart, despite all my flaws. To know there is Somebody who is pursuing me, flaws and all.
I am really excited about this study. So much of my life I have allowed myself to live in the shadows of my self doubt and let the fact that I have failed so much in my life that things will never be different. I have to admit when I picked the book up at the store I almost talked myself out of it and doing this study all together because “I am not ever going to change” But that is the thing, I can’t change on my own, through God’s Power I can be changed. I have great hope that He will break these strongholds that have allowed me live like a turtle in my shell all of my life. I struggle with my weight and am in the process of losing weight and have felt that once I get down to my goal weight I would be so much happier but it still is not going to fill that void that only God can.
I wish you all good luck in this study and pray that God removes our shadow of doubt. Have a blessed day!
Thank you so much for writing this book. I am a new Christian. God has always been in my life but I never read the bible, out of fear. Fear that I would discover something I had done would be unforgivable. Fear has ruined my life. I live in constant fear of life, what does the future hold? can I keep my children safe? will I be safe? I can’t even listen to the new without almost having a panic attack. Will my marriage last? Fear, depression and anxiety have run my life for over 12 years. They have turned me into a tired, irritated, on edge mother and wife. I want to know God and KNOW that no matter what comes against me I have the strength to get through it and that I can overcome my fears and live a blessed life with confidence.
Thank you for sharing! I pray that God will show you the depths of His love and provide comfort for your fears. I can say that He is willing to forgive anything and everything, past, present, and even future. Yes, He even knows our future mistakes and failings, and forgives them. I pray that you’ll be able to lean upon the Lord and let him take your burdens. We can’t control anything or anyone in this life (not even our own emotions), but He is in control and He always has our best interest at heart. God bless!
Jessica, I am a new Christian myself and am filled with major self doubt. I have been battling clinical depression for the past 12 years and have just come out of another episode. I am constantly searching for answers and help with my problem. When I saw this bible study it really spoke to me. With being a new Christian I am hoping that I may finally find some peace through Gods word and with the help of other Christians. I am tired of being a miserable person and I know my family has had more than their fill of it also. I pray that this bible study helps us!
Anything you wrote about doubt are places where my mind has been. Childhood circumstances taught me to protect everyone and I have carried that into my life all of these years. There was a breakthrough about 1 month ago and Jesus has been graciously revealing so much to me. There is a long journey ahead as I learn to trust My Jesus and, living in Him, allowing Him to change my life to trust my own husband and children. I am looking forward to this time together. I am amazed that there are about 8,000 women joining in here. Amen!
Debbie, your words could have been written by me, including the recent “breakthrough”. I am looking forward to continuing the journey to more fully trusting in and believing the Lord.
What first caught my eye was in the Forward where you were talking about looking to people and things to FILL you. If I’m honest I have a tendency to do this as well. I like to be able to see and touch someone or something and even though I know God is there and I pray alot, He isn’t able to be touched. I also thought about one of the questions at the end of the chapter where it says Has insecurity kept you from doing something? Yes, many times. It’s part of what’s keeping me from going back to work right now. I have been at home for so long now I’m afraid sometimes to go back to work because I’m not sure I could do it well or fit in. These are things I’m working on in myself.
From one Pam to another–I hear ya! Read the part about trying to get people to fill you up, and I immediately thought, “Ooo…..guilty on that one!” The insecurity thing pertains to me too…..I’ll have to think about that one more, actually. It’s kind of sneaky, ya know?
The wheels are already turning in our heads……has to be a good sign. 🙂
Insecurity keeps us and me from doing a lot of things. I know some of it comes from childhood and then we get hurt or put down as adults and sometimes without us knowing it, it is like another knife being jabbed in our heart. We don’t realize the effects sometimes until later. Our mind is a powerful tool and the enemy knows just how to use it against us. After so long it becomes almost impossible to change.
One of the words I highlighted was… Perseverance … So, stick with it!!! :). The other thing I highlighted was this … “You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light”. So to me that is a great reminder to live in the light of God’s Word. Great is His faithfulness!
Becky, what a wonderful reminder to us all to live in the light of God’s word.
I have to choose. Choose to dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I belong to. Choose to embrace the reality of His measureless grace, unconditional love, and redeeming hope.
It is so much easier to believe the bad as much as I want to believe the good to believe His Word for me not just for others. To believe I am not a mistake. To choose to believe His grace is sufficient for even me. To choose to believe I am worth getting to know. To choose to stop hiding and start living. To choose to believe I can do all things through Him who strengthens even me. To choose to believe I do matter, I matter to Him, my creator, the lover of my soul, my redeemer. My hope is in Him.
Lord please help me with my unbelief!
Self-doubt is crippling for me most of the time.. I am so tired of feeling unworthy and being afraid of rejection. I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful daughters who shower me with love and yet I still live in the shadow sometimes. My parents, though loving, created most if my doubt and fear of rejection. Growing up I felt the need to do everything perfectly and when I didn’t, I felt the crushing power of failure. Now as an adult I still cannot openly discuss things with my parents because they take everything personally and are nearly always negative. Isaiah 49:23 spoke to me today as well as the sentence about hope and doubt. As I was reading this morning, I too heard the voice of doubt saying “why do you think this is going to help this time?” I am tired of feeling defeated as a daughter of God, wife, mother, friend, etc. I know God doesn’t expect perfection but I want to be confident and BELIEVE I can be who God wants me to be.
The question that asks if doubt/insecurity have ever kept me from doing anything really got my attention. Doubt and insecurity have kept me from doing a lot of things, but these issues are also tangled up with my weight. I have gained weight in the last few years and that has increased my trouble with having confidence and feeling secure. When I was thin and felt good about my appearance, I was a lot more confident, but I realize that in both scenarios (both now and then) my confidence or lack thereof was based on me, not based on God. If my confidence is based on God, then I will be secure no matter what I look like because it is not about me. True confidence can only come from God, right? 🙂
Great insight Sandra – I am with you on this one for sure 😉
Sandra thanks for your insights, Fighting my weight problem, has stopped me from doing and many things. I never looked at it from your point of view.After reading your post the Battle is not mine but the Lords came to my memory.
I loved the sentence on pg 23 when you said “God doesn’t want us stuck in the cycle of defeat or living in the shadows of doubt”. This statement is so true but yet I have never thought of it like that. I have lefft self doubt take over a lot of my life and miss a lot of things. I am eager to get deeper into this study. Thanks Renee; I can’t wait!
Doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time. We need to hope that life can be different: Otherwise, doubt will win every time and our hearts will be eroded by attitudes and emotions of defeat-but it is not supposed to be this way.
Those two sentences really jumped out at me. “I can’t do this” and “it’s too hard” are whispers that I hear a lot. Especially anything new that is unfamiliar. I shrink back and feel so insecure at times. Praying God’s word really does help me and I am praying that this study will give me a confident heart. The scripture, “all things are possible to (her) who believes” gives me hope. I am praying God’ Promises for me and all of the sisters that are doing this study, that we will Believe and will gain a Confident Heart! The song, “All Things Are Possible” came into my mind as I read the scripture . It’s by Hillsong. Google it if you’ve never heard it.
I was told about this study by a co-worker who is struggling with her own confidence and she wanted someone to walk through this with her; our plan is to keep each other accountable. Reading through chapter one, I realize this study will be as much for me as for her! God even comes in through the back door of our minds sometimes! Two things really spoke to me so far; the struggle with feeling confident when asked to use our gifts to serve but as the time draws near, doubt builds up strength and over shadows the confidence God has already given us to succeed. The other is the concept of praying the Scriptures, I have heard of this concept before but never felt “confident” enough in my knowledge of Scripture to think I could use it effectively. To see it demonstrated at the end of each chapter will be huge not to mention that the way I read the Scripture will take a different, more personal direction in application. Thank you, everyone!
Becky, having an accountable partner is such a wonderful idea. Praying that you will help and encourage each other through the course of this study.
When I first starting reading the chapter, thoughts of hope were trying to make their way into my mind. I don’t want just another self-help book, but something that I can dive into daily and that leads me back to the Bible. Self-doubt has always been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I’ve let what other people tell me define who I am and what I can or cannot do. I want to be the confident woman God has called me to be. I am looking forward to learning more about what God has called us to do and be and more importantly learning more about who God is.
It’s wonderful that this study came about right now. I, too, have had this book for a while and have not finished it. And now, with job insecurities looming, odd feelings of disconnecting with friends and neighbors, self-doubt, this popped back up at the most perfect time. A couple of weeks ago, I read a book called ” your One Word” and after a lot of thought and prayer, mine turned out to be “confidence”! Then- here comes this study! 🙂 I have faith that God is about to do a big thing-and I pray that I have the persistence and confidence to come out on the other side a more confident, anxiety-free woman who can use her potential to let go and stop worrying, and to remember that I’m not driving the bus!
Shanny, that is so wonderful! I love how God works things out. His timing is perfect.
Im here listening and praying as you share your thoughts. I love how you all are loving on and encouraging one another. That makes the best online experience possible. There is so much power in our prayers and encouragement.
“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,” Amen!
I love that!
Thank you I just loved reading this
That’s a beautiful prayer! Bless you Renee. On another note, can you tell me how to change the icon that was issued to me on registration, to my photo. It’s great to see people’s photos by their comments – it seems more personal.
S
“See, I am doing a new thing.” Isa. 43:19. The Lord has been telling me that all year. Confirmation!
When I got my book I was so excited I read the first chapter and I just sat and cried …I didn’t realize that I carried soo much self doubt and that I am letting it stop me from being all God would want me to be…I feel freedom Is coming my way Thank You
This has been an incredibly tough year for me – coping with a marriage breakdown (and build-up!), the suicide of my stepson’s mother, illness throughout our immediate and extended family, and an overload of stress with too few coping mechanisms landing me in the pits of depression. The one thing that kept me going, and kept me hoping for a better day was my belief that everything was happening for a reason, that God has a plan for me and this is all part of it. I thank God every day for a select, small group of true friends who have walked beside me and reminded me where I can find strength in my darkest moments. One of these friends is completing this Bible study with me! Sadly the sentences that resonated with me in Chapter 1 were the sentence that doubt “shouts from the sidelines”. These sentences have been frequent visitors that I have used to keep me from either “going for it” or “sticking with it” on numerous occasions. Interesting that in the most difficult times this past year I did not hear doubt shouting those words, but rather heard the words “you can get through anything, just hang in there, it will get better”.
DeeDee, it sounds like it has been a difficult season for you, but that God has surrounded you with a great support system. I think it is wonderful that you are all doing this study together. Praying for you as you continue down this journey with God.
DeeDee, I am SO glad you invited me to join you in this study! You have, no doubt, been through a difficult year to say the least. My heart has ached for you many times. You have shown tremendous courage and dedication, you have faced and survived what many women would not. You should be proud of yourself. Excited to be taking this journey toward a confident heart together! Much love 🙂
The first sentence that caught me was what doubt whispers. I thought, “God did you tell her what was going through my mind?!” This study comes at a time of serious attack for me. I am in the process of planning an event that the liar and enemy of my soul would have me put away and never think if doing it again because I don’t have the resources, I don’t have the organizational skills, I lack the know how, I don’t have what it takes to ask for donations and so on and so on. Simply seeing that someone else besides me fights this battle gives me comfort. Thank you for doing this again! I am believing His promise that who the Son sets free is free indeed!! Blessings!
Felicia, praying for you as you work on planning for this event. Do not let me enemy get a hold of you and your confidence. God has placed you here for a reason. Lean on Him and He will see you through. Looking forward to studying and learning together.
Thank you so much Jamy!! Here is something funny. The enemy tried to tell me that my words, my voice means nothing. He tried to show me how many women were being encouraged and prayed for and it seemed as if… as if mine was silent. That’s how he lies to me. He tells me I’m not worth the time, the prayers. I appreciate you! Blessings!
Felicia, I’m in the same place as you. Starting a new business. Satan keeps pounding doubts in my mind and they are very powerful. I have tried something like this before and failed many times. I know in my heart God put this in my life. But to succeed I have to step way out of my comfort zone. This time, I am say “GET BEHIND ME SATAN”. I am trusting in a God!!!
I have to start by telling how I received this book. My husband saw this book online and ordered it for me several months ago. When I got the package on my desk I thought it was another book that I had been wanting (Unglued). When I opened it and saw the title, I was insulted. I said to myself, why would he buy me this?? I am a very confident person! I don’t need to read a book on how to be confident! I even confronted him about it (which is why I needed to read Unglued 🙂 It has sat on my desk for those several months now and I didn’t pick it up to read it. Then I got the email about the online study. I felt that this was God speaking to me and telling me to “PICK UP THAT BOOK!”
As I read the forward and the first chapter, I realized that having a confident heart is not only about having confidence in yourself, but about having confidence that God is ready and willing to be our savior in every situation. I am a confident personality, but when it comes to my marriage (3rd one), I am very doubting! The doubting whispers on page 22 struck me. I ask myself these questions regularly about my marriage. I often wonder where God is while I am struggling to keep it together for a third time. I wonder why do things continue to look hopeless to me no matter how hard I pray and try to trust that God will take care of it.
I am hoping that through this study that I will gain the confidence to not have to ask these questions anymore. That I will simply be confident that God is in control of every situation and that I can put all my trust in the One that can fulfill ALL of my needs.
Amen to that. I also liked the whispers also spoke to me all of them in chapters 1&2
Procrastination I think that I always avoid to do things because the fear of rejection or failure I feel sure if I popose things. That’s is the main thought I have right now.
“Perharps you are good at hiding your doubts” this sentence spoke to me.
I meant “postpone” (sorry English is not my first language)
Gloria, you are so brave to be doing a Bible study in another language. Although I speak three languages other than my native one, and even use them in my work, I do not feel confident that I could join in a Bible study in one of them. Way to go! I am so thankful that God has put all of these sisters together to learn together all around the world.
The story about the shadow spoke to me for sure. one sentence that stood out (I think I cried through the whole first chapter) and I underlined was pg 21 where it says ‘The unknown is too scary. Although you’ve been miserable, at least the misery is familiar where you are now’. I am guilty as charged. the misery feels comfortable so I allow myself to stay in it because the unknown is too scary…….Huge wake up call. I want to get beyond the miserable and live confidently in God and see what unknown he has in store for me. I’m praying for us all to walk through this open to God. Open with each other (our stories will help one another no matter how scary it is to admit it and say it to women we don’t know). Let’s get all that God has for us….he’s waiting on us. Thank you Renee for this.
The unknown is too scary…… This is a phrase i have been dealing with over and over in my head. This year has been the hardest year that i have had to experience. My husband had an affair when our first daughter was 1. We decided to work at it – go to counseling etc. Now eight years later i find out of other woman during those years during the years we were going to counseling, etc. During which time we have had another child. He still wants to make the marriage work. We are currently separated. i feel at such a crossroads in life – I did not grow up in a family with divorce, so this is not something i ever wanted, but there has been so many lies and betrayal, i just don’t have the desire to work at it. i also don’t feel God would want me to stay in a relationship like this. So i relate so well with the doubts, fears, and unknown things ahead in my life. I am praying that my heart can find healing and become more confident and i can become closer to God to see what he wants me to do in my life. Everything looks scary to me right now.
Let God lead you. Pray and listen very carefully to His directions. I recently read Hope for the Separated by Gary Chapman. It is very good and knowing that you are doing what is right and just for His glory has helped immensely. God’s plans are better than we can imagine IF we are obedient to His word. Take care!!! XOXO
Two things really encouraged my heart this morning.
1. The reminder to pray God’s Word aloud and the power in the spoken Word!!
2. Hebrews 10:35-39. I can completely identify with the “shrinking back” picture, and I was reminded of the
crucial goal to aim to “please Him” above everything else as I live out my life and make my daily decisions.
Thank you Renee for following God’s direction, being totally transparent, and creating this study for us….the non-confident women who want to change! All my life I’ve been afraid of something to the point of making myself physically ill at times. I was taught that being confident was the same as acting like I was better than others. Because of my lack of confidence in myself, I stayed in an abusive marriage for over 13 years and raised my daughter in that environment. I want to help women that are in that same situation today, but first I must conquer these self-doubts that still haunt me.
I am so excited that “the God of hope is calling me out of the shadow of my doubts so I can live with a Confident Heart!” I am so so so ready to begin this new chapter in my life. I just accomplished a huge step in my business and I don’t want to allow my lack of confidence in myself to shut me down….again. I know that God has placed me in this place as a ministry for my life and I don’t want to throw it back in his face for a second time.
Debbie, may God give you the courage to persevere and overcome. Good for you.
What a way to start a new study! Jeremiah 17:7 is just what I needed to hear today. Yes, hearing the daily prayer and scripture does make a difference for me. Thanks Renee! What sentence jumped out to me this morning? The sentence that states WE make choices. I too often forget that and use the I can’t statements as my excuse. When I’m in the Word, life is simpler and excuses a lot smaller.
Thank you, Renee for this Study. I will continue to believe that God will you this Study to help me overcome my self doubts and thoughts of insecurity. Thank you so much for listening to God’s calling and for allowing Him to use you to help all the women who struggle like me. The Bible verse that has really spoken to me today is Isaiah 49:23 “Those who hope in the Lord will not be disappointed.” I will make this my life verse as I go through each day and say it over and over again until I feel confident to do whatever it is that I am scared of. Thank you so much, Renee.
Page 25 I loved when you wrote, “when we pray God’s words out loud, and hear them, the Holy Spirit engraves them on our hearts.” That touched me. Sometimes when I read the Bible I feel like I am just reading another book. For what ever reason nothing resonates with me. But to know that the Holy Spirit is listening to what I am saying put it in a whole new way of reading the Bible for me.
This will be the third time I start this book! Never have I had such difficulty getting through a Bible study! I have a feeling it’s because I’ve allowed satan to distract me from some major growth God wants from me in the weeks ahead. The shadow of doubt part of chapter one speaks LOUDLY to me, as I have so often found myself there. I anticipate God growing me greatly as I go through this study with 7,999 other women! Think, girls, of what God can and will do in and through us if we will persevere and stick with this to the end…
This is also my third time to start the book….once last year with the on-line study; we are now in Chapter 9 of the study in our LILIES Bible study group on Thursdays; and now, again, the on-line study. I am really going to GET IT this time, I pray! I am asking God to stay with me through this study to the end and to keep the enemy away. It is so easy to become distracted, which makes him very happy. Imagine how thrilled God must be to see that 8,000 of his daughters are coming together to learn His ways. Praying for all of you today!!
When I sat down at my desk this morning, the first thing that caught my eye was one of my many bright yellow post its that read ‘Blessed is she who believs that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her’. As I turned to open my journal to prepare for today’s lesson, the verse at the bottom was from Psalms 37, ‘Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart’. It felt like God was cheering me on, encouraging me in that sweet way only someone who knows my true heart can.
Amen
Self-doubt has had a hold on me for years because I have always believed in God. I always believed He existed, but I never believed Him. I always saw Him work in others lives, but never believed He could do it for me. For a long time I just went through the motions hoping that would work but it didn’t. Then my husband left and after that I was truly devastated and didn’t have anyone I felt comfortable talking to and could trust. During that time God begin to speak to me . He begin showing me, me, but I still just didn’t get it.And besides it really didn’t matter. But He continued to show up and He continued to speak to me.He even used other people. So as I started drawing closer to Him I begin to feel His presence even More . I would love to say that my husband is home and we’re one big happy family, but he’s not. I have realized that I can trust God and thatHe has all things under ccontrol, but I still doubt because I focus more on what I see and less on His promises, but what I have come to realize just this morning is that I have to believe Him, not believe in Him . God is not a lier His promises are true and I must believe that for myself. No one else can believe that for me. If I want to see God work in my life I must believe Him no matter what I see or face I must believe Him.
I related to the sentence “Perhaps you are good at hiding your doubts and no one but you knows the paralyzing power they have on your life.” I’m not very good at verbalizing my feelings. I try to make other people think that everything is good and fine in my life, that I don’t have any problems. Therefore, I have pushed people away and feel like I’m not good enough to have friends, or I’m not as good as many others. I have felt that way for years! I’m so tired of it! I even push God away because I don’t feel like he will want to help me. Even at the same time as wanting him in my life. I liked the other sentence about believing God, instead of just believe in Him. Because I am so insecure, I try to control other people in my life, and that hasn’t gone too well either. I do still have hope though! Anxious to do this study. Thanks.
I related to that one too, Gina…..I always have to be the “rock”–haven’t got the time or situations to voice doubts/fears that much. My closest friends live far away, and I always worry that I’ll sound like “Debbie Downer” when I talk to them, so I try to keep it upbeat or just let it go and not connect with them if I’m down. The ‘believing God, not just believing in Him’ part is definitely something to work on! And hey, they say that being able to talk about it is more than half the problem, right? So we’re already off to a decent start. 😉
PamI do the samething. I have tobe strong and say nothing is wrong with me even if i’m crying on the end side and just want to hide but wait I can’t people need me I’m the strong one . I don’t wantto be thr strong one all the time. I want someone to hugg me and say i’ll help you what is YOUR problem. Know what i mean. I’m with you on believing God not just believing in Him. I’m working on thiseveryday and some days are better than others( I have alot of others) but I keep praying for help in everything in life i feel is my flaws.I do believe God is working in me just don’t know how right now.so like you saidwe are off and running now the hardest step is overwehave made that first big step of starting day one. Amen and God Bless us all.
The analogy about the shadow truly spoke to me. I have been living in a shadow of doubt it seems all my life. I know that my sexual abuse as a very young child has distorted my belief in myself that I am worthy of someone loving me. I am very, very confident on the outside and am very confident with people and in front of people. But, in relationships I have no confidence. I am in a enormous battle right now in life with a truck load of self-doubt and worth. “Blessed is the woman who trusts in the Lord and whose confidence in in Him” That scripture spoke to me and hit home. Blessed means favored, fortunate, worthy of worship. So if I keep focused on the Lord, trusts Him then I will be happy, fortunate, worthy of worship!!!! This truly is my promise to stand on this week. I also struggle with self-talk. I call them demons in my head!! So Rom. 12:2 is a scripture that really hits home. How we think plays a huge part in who we become and who we are. We need to transform our mind from thinking that we are worthless to believing that we are worthy of worship and fortunate and happy and favored. It is all about what we think and believe. This is easy for me to write and tell others, but I so struggle with applying it and living it in my own life. I would like for you to be praying with me that I will start to apply this truth to my own life and act on it!!! i will be praying for everyone during this study. I know God has led me here and is wanting to speak to me in a very powerful way.
And no doubt He wants to speak to you! Thanks for sharing and I’ll definitely be praying with you.
Julie,
I just want to let you know you are not alone. I also was sexually abused as a child and have had so many struggles because of it. I appreciate your prayers and will be praying for you as well.
Julie,
I know exactly how you feel. Have you forgave the person that sexually abused you. It works wonders when you do. I thought to myself why should I forgive him hes the one that did wrong to me. I was told once that am letting him have power over me. Am still in bondage until I truly Let Go and Let God and forgive him for what he has done to me. Am keeping you in my prayers and I hope for the very best for you. Take care and Godbless
Doubt, I would say should bey middle name. I live under the shadow of doubt. These four statements stay withe all the time…I can’t do this, things will never change, my life isn’t going to get better, I’ll never have the confidence I need. Just steep out one more time to try something new. It’s failing, don’t know why I expected anything different. I prayed and trusted with all my heart. Put everything I had into it, because I beloved in it, still do. But it’s going no where!!! So disappointing!!! People will not get the products that I know will help them tremendously, God will not be glorified through it, my daughters college will not be paid off, we will not retire comfortably, we will not be able to bless our children financially, the golden opportunity I seek that is within me will not be found!! Failure, welcome back my friend. At least I can say I tried!
Being raised a Preachers daughter you would think I would have the confidence and trust and securities but I was teased so much growing up that it shattered my self worth. I can see now that it has carried over into my adult life I don’t have that confident heart I feel as though I’m just here to raise my kids and a be a help meet to my husband. Although I have raised my kids to “trust” in the Lord and they can do anything I believe my actions spoke louder than my words and I didn’t live the part. Now my family is going through some extermely hard times and I feel as though I have failed them in teaching that all things do work together and that all things are really possible.
Thank you for your willingness to follow your calling! The timing for me finding you and this study is perfect. In fact as I was reading the description a friend of a friend posted a prayer request for her 24 year old daughter who was struggling with her self worth. I was able to tell her about this and the mother was so thankful. For myself I have been struggling with self doubt, self worth and feeling less than all my life and it is at its peak right now. Life circumstances have escalated these feelings. However after reading and doing the first assignment I already feel hopeful and am looking forward with anticipation to what a God has planned for this time together! Thank you!
Doubt and guilt seem to go hand and hand in my life. Doubt creeps in and keeps me from doing what I should do, and then guilt comes in behind it and accuses me for not doing what I should have done. I have lived with these two things for the better part of thirty years. I have been worn down by it. I feel heavy with the weight of this burden. This was lifted 10 years ago when I recieve the Lord as my Savior. But somehow, it has creeped back in, the consequences of those decisions thirty years ago keep coming back to me, to remind me. I know that God loves me, and has forgiven me for these old mistakes…the hard part is forgiving myself. That is what keeps me from walking in confidence all the time. I am like a rollercoaster ride. I don’t want that ride anymore… I want to believe the promises of God for my life. I want to let go of the guilt and doubt and be the confident woman, He made me to be. I am going to keep repeating Rom. 8:28, all week. I am going to believe that God works all things for the good, and that He will turn around what the enemy meant for evil. That someone will benefit from what I have been through, and God can use me for His will.
Wendy…..you took the words right out of my mouth. I also have doubt and guilt from some very bad decisions that I have made in my past. I don’t know why it’s so hard to forgive ourselves, I know God has forgiven me. I’m done with the rollercoaster ride too, I do good for awhile then I’m back to feeling guilty.
I am so ready to be the confident loving woman that God wants me to be.
I pray that we all can overcome doubt and let the hope that comes from the Lord, reside in our hearts.
Thank you Tina H., for letting me know that I am not alone. 🙂
I struggle with guilt over past mistakes and bad decisions too. I know I am forgiven, but I still have to live with the consequences every day. I guess one of my biggest doubts is that God will make all things work together for good. I am praying that I will see a release from this. And a change in my life, in me because of it. Even now, it is hard to see that things can be different. I pray we will be healed in this area and that we will see God’s goodness unfold in our lives. That we will see His good plan working out of our past.
Hi Tina H
were you spying on my life. lol I to struggle with the same things. I pray all the time for God to lead me and then I struggle with “is this God or me” so I end up not doing anything. I will get more into my story later. But remember we are not a lone in these feeling. Prayers and God Bless
Oh my Wendy, I think we all live with doubt and regret for what we can do in life and what we have done in our past. The good Lord knows that I have several dark things in my past and every once in a while the devil loves to bring them out and dangle them in my face. I to have got to learn to forgive myself and not so much forget the past but put the past behind me. God has already forgiven, we just have to forgive ourselves and learn to let go and let God.
I remeber reading this before and now this time around I was able to get more out of it. I was actually able to concentrate and answer the questions that were asked at the end of the chapter. I was also remembering the prayer and how now it is so much more powerful to me. It brings out the fact that God is with us on this journey. Last time I did this study I only was able to get to chapter 3 do to an intensive program I went to for healing. I thank God today that the program was available to me because i learned alot and it has certianly done wonders for my ability to now concentrate on reading and other things i like to do. I am not alone on this journey none of us are alone. I know that self-doubt runs in all of us and that makes me feel like I am not traveling this rode on my own.
Robin
Robin, praying for you and all the other participants in this study as each one of us begins this journey. May God grant us the strength and confindence to follow through and help each other along.
Amen
The sentence that spoke to me was…”Doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time. We need to know and believe that change is possible. We need to hope that life can be different. Otherwise, doubt will win every time and our hearts will be eroded by attitudes and emotions of defeat…”
What I really relate to is the “what if…” thoughts that want to flood my mind with doubt.
This is what stood out to me too. Its like an internal struggle with me, which one is going to win – doubt or hope. I tend to let doubt settle in more often then hope. My doubt creates a bad attitude in me which is then poured over into my family. I’ve read this book a few years ago, and look forward to going through this study again.
I feel the same way. Doubt wins out most of the time. Even when the light of hope encourages me it seems doubt always worms its way in to diminish it. I am a happy person on the outside (going through the motions) but depression and doubt constantly pull me down when I’m alone. I honestly do not want to be this person and don’t believe I am deep down inside. I don’t know how to let this “person” out and crush the doubter. I think it’s a trust issue and a fear of totally letting go and let God be God in my life. I pray through this study I can overcome the “familiar misery” and make the changes necessary to be one of God’s girls with a Confident Heart.
It is both exciting and scary to embark on this journey to find Godly confidence. I feel like I’ve spent so many years living in insecurity that confidence is fleeting at best and nonexistent at worst. It’s interesting that Renee points out that our uncertainties lead to doubt. It is not unusual to have uncertainty in life, actually, most of life is uncertain, isn’t it? But uncertainty can lead to doubt or faith. Most of the time for me, I let the shadow of doubt and insecurity grow way out of control. And doubt’s whispers can be so paralyzing! But resting in God’s promises is the cure. God wants us to be abundantly free and fully confident in Him. I’m looking forward to His work in transforming me on this journey!
I like your insight — uncertainty in life is a constant but we actually have a choice. We can doubt (and we all now know where that will lead) or we can choose hope/faith. It is an exercise we will have to do constantly–choose faith! I’m thinking I need to have post its with scripture all over my house and office as reminders.
I wander if its works the same as dieting? Do something consistently for 30 days and it will become a habit? 🙂
Kelly–Glad i’m not the only one who is seriously thinking of resorting to Post-Its, Ha! After a turbulent few years, my concentration isn’t as good as it should be…..hence my love of Post-Its. But I really think you’re right–it’s a choice. Choose despair/doubt, or chose hope/faith. I was doing well for a while, but i’ve gotten worn down and realized that I need to turn it over to something much bigger than myself or those “paralyzing whispers” just won’t go away. (Good phrase, Julie) Can’t do it on your own.
I’m a little ‘weirded out’ by the thought of doing a bible study and ‘journaling’ and whatnot….was raised pretty conservatively Catholic and if anyone does that, they don’t say so. 😉 However, it’s just me and the cat, and she doesn’t care, so why not?!
And I’m dieting too, so hopefully i’ll have some seriously good transformation in 30 days, hahaha! 🙂
I related with the story about the shadow on the wall pg 21. My doubt distorts my thoughts overpowering my emotions and on the next page how that doubt causes such insecurity it paralyzes me with negative statements that I believe instead of believing what God says about me. Thank you for shepherding, leading, praying, encouraging, connecting and pacing us in this study and for all those who are helping you also. With 8000 who signed up for this study it seems there are a lot of us Jesus girls who need confident hearts!! You are a blessing Renee.
Janet, through this journey may you learn to replace the lies, doubts and insecurities with God’s truth, promises and confindence.
Janet , that is the same story the resonated with me. I believe the “doubt shadow” distorts our view of everything…especially God Himself. It always makes me feel like He doesn’t care or doesn’t want to help me. But if I look into the light, look into the Word of God and what it says about Him, and me in Him then those doubts have to go !!! The line ” You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light”, really struck a chord…I had never thought of it that way. It seems so much easier for us to fall into the habit of looking at the shadow instead of the light. I am praying that all of us will break that habit and learn a new way to live !!!
The sentence/ story that resonated the most within me was the conversation with the mirror…I constantly question my God given ability to sing. I’ve stepped out in faith away from a band that was hard working, but soul draining. I’m waiting / walking into a new chapter of singing…I want to share my gift to Glorify God. I really am looking forward to this work at such a time as this ….refilling my soul and my confidence!
I can relate to that I believe God has given a beautiful instrument with my voice, but my lack of confidence has come from not feeling like I meet others standards. I will listen to others sing and begin to compare myself and that doesn’t end well. I know that God did not give me this voice to just sit on, but I just don’t know. I want to also share my gift, but I’m waiting on God to show me when and where. I pray that as you search and begin to allow Him to fill your soul that the words and sound that comes forth be a new sound that will draw people to Him. I pray that He will continue to use you for His glory!
I know what you’re going through, I’ve been there and have heard God’s answers through doors opening, I just had to believe in myself enough to accept the calling. I’m a worship coordinator at our church, but if you told me I would be doing this 2 years ago, I would have never believed you, as I didn’t have the confidence to do so. Praying for God to use me for His glory and his purpose got me through. He never gives you more than you can handle and knows the plans he’s made for you, trusting them in hard but he will give you strength. You’ll know when the time is right to use your gifts if you continually pray for his wisdom. He provided me circumstances to overcome this fear and mentors to guide me into this calling and I pray he does for you as well.
Remember, Romans 8: 28: For we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been CALLED according to his purpose.
Renee
What you say about moving beyond believing in Him to really believing Him. Relying on the power of His words …. This resonates with me. For many years I had the theory – I knew the doctrine and I knew the teaching but I needed to move from my head knowledge to a heart knowledge. To believe in God is one thing, to believe that God is real and speaks and acts today and interacts personally with me is quite another. I have had to learn the lesson of this one the hard way.
Sue
“Doubt and hope cannot live in our hearts at the same time”… So many times doubt and fear paralyze me into thinking I am not worthy. I KNOW that is not true, but sometimes it is hard to pull out of that rut and really, truly trust and not just believe IN God, but believe he will do what he says he will do for me if I have the faith and hope.
Amen Jilliandee….I feel so controlled by my emotions so much of the time. I just keep praying for His Words of promise to make the trip from my head into my heart. I feel like a hamster on a wheel sometimes; I am completely empowered and rested by His Word for a season and then I will find myself under the same attack for a season…rinse and repeat 😉
Hi, Laura:
Me, too. I want that cycle to stop. I have just started reading Nancy Leigh DeMoss’ book enttitled SURRENDER. I want to stop trying to be in control and surrender everything to God. I am coming to believe that our trying to be in control hinders God and His sovereign movement. I don’t want to hinder the move of God in my life or someone else’s life. Does that make sense? What do you think?
Yes exactly! I did a study of hers a couple of years ago that was REALLY good! I can’t remember the name of it right now though :/ I have actually been struggling a great deal for the past couple of days and I guess it’s because I am doing this study and the enemy likes me to be sick. It stinks, but is a good sign I suppose 😉 Praying for the cycle to END my friend!!!!
So far, I am intrigued by your story and relationship with your father. It appears the divorced filled childhood has had some lasting effects on my life. Blessed with a husband and children, at 34 I find myself struggling with enormous insecurity and doubt about myself. The Lord is working in and through me to heal those areas, but hearing of struggle and depression encourage me that I’m not alone. My parents have married 12 times between the two of them. I grew up fast as a child, but the darkness set in when I in college. I’ve been fighting to find myself ever since, but I do see God loving and pursuing me. It’s just hard to believe it at times. Thanks for being obedient to your calling!
“Doubt keeps us from believing things can get better. Doubt convinces us that it’s not worth the effort” This past year has been an incredibly difficult year which had me in a place of just not wanting to live anymore because of how sensless life seems to be. I have gotten to a place where I dont trust anymore nor believe because everytime I have it seems that no matter what I did betrayal, disappointments devasted. I know life is not supposed to be easy but it is very difficult to keep moving forward when you feel that your efforts are for nothing. I pray that God change how I feel. Even as I read and become a part of this study the voices inside are saying ” what do you think this time it is going to be different? Who are you kidding you have tried to believe, trust time and time again and inevitably it didn’t matter” I am going to go through the motions and continue and maybe just maybe.
Norma, my heart breaks to read your reply here… It breaks because I, too, know about betrayal and disappointment. But the Lord has shown me the beauty He can weave from even the darkest of nights… Check out this passage from 2 Corinthians 1…
“Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer.
Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself.
Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.”
Hang in there, sister, and I pray that this study will continue to open your eyes to God’s redeeming work in your life.
Jesus I pray you would be with Norma in a special way tonight. I pray that she would feel your presence and know that You are the Only One who is worthy of our fragile trust. I pray that she would find the strength to continue this study and be blessed through her study of the word and Renee’s precious words. Bless you dear Norma!
Im praying with you too – for Norma. The way you love on each other, share verses and pray for one another is such a beatuiful picture of God’s love!
Norma I will be praying for you! A wise friend once told me that when we doubt our salvation to just keep praying and reading God’s word! I don’t know if you are doubting your salvation but the same can apply in any situation – just keep praying and reading God’s word and He will get you through anything! At one time I too did not feel like I could trust anyone, but especially not men! It took my belief in Christ and many years for me to let anyone get really close. So please know that you are not alone and I will be praying God’s healing and grace for you!
Norma,
Our heavenly Father promises us HE will never leave us or forsake us! I’m praying for you that you will ignore the enemy of your soul’s LIES that you are insignificant and that NO ONE can be trusted. Jesus can be trusted with our deepest needs and desires… Stick with this Bible study and more importantly, with our Lord and Savior! He knows the number of hairs on your head, the number of days of your life, your deepest needs and desires, and He is WILD ABOUT YOU!!
I have been where you are. Not trusting people is one of the biggest problems I had and it still comes, but I realized the more I trusted God the more He showed up. He placed those people in my life that I could trust and I knew they would not hurt me. I had to ask Him to show me where my lack of trust was coming from. What happened in my past that I was still holding on to because it had to be something. It was so bad that I didn’t even trust my husband and we have been separated for almost 2 years now, and when he left boy did I really start shouting at God, see I told You I couldn’t trust anyone all people do is hurt me. I even stop praying and I was angry with God because I felt He didn’t love me because if He did then why was I having to go through so much pain. But that’s where the enemy wanted me to be I had to understand that the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy and I was letting him. God loves you. He knows exactly how you feel. He knows exactly where you are. He wants to heal you from all the pain your past has caused you, but you must let Him. Be honest with God. He already knows, once you begin to be honest the healing begins to take place. I pray that you will continue to press in and know that our Heavenly Father loves you!!!
i hear ya, but that’s satan putting his thoughts there, i have so many doubting thoughts, we have to replace them with God’s word, He is stronger then anything in this world, will be praying for you.
Norma, I have been where you are for sure. Don’t expect big change but for now, look for the smallest of signs. If in church you are singing and you feel a urge to look up to God, that is a sign the he is calling you in my opinion. If you start smiling a confident-in-the-Lord smile over some thought, thats progress. I have not yet had a big religious experience in my new life, but the more I notice the small signs os spiritual growth, the more I am certain that I am moving forward in the Spirit. Don’t give up hope, but do give up expecting a huge gesture or instant fix. God gives us what we need but sometimes the yearning is what makes us ready to receive it.
Norma-
Here’s a copy of a text that I recently sent a friend. I hope it will encourage you as it encouraged her. I felt is was truly God speaking through me and it ministered to me as well: “My personal experience has been that the hardest times have brought the most growth and healing in my life. It does stink when life doesn’t go the way we think it should, especially when that way is so rough. The Christian life is not trying harder though–I have learned that it is surrender. The beauty of the Gospel is not us pursuing God, but Him pursuing us! Pour out your heart to Him with the full weight of your emotions. For so many years (and I still struggle), I told myself that it wasn’t okay to feel anger and sadness and emotions like that, but that only caused me to stuff them further into darkness instead of bringing them to the light regardless of how ugly and sinful they were/are. But God, who is rich in mercy, welcomed me with open arms and healed my wounds and set me on a new course walking with Him. Life is SO hard, but God is truly good. Even when we can’t see it, He is constantly at work on our behalf. He has not forgotten us even though He may be silent. He sees you. He hears you. He loves you like crazy!” Praying that you will know how wide, long, high and deep is His love for YOU! That you would know that the best gift you give your family and the world is Christ in you, the unique, fabulous you God created you to be.
W- thank you for posting this in response to Norma. The sentence about the fact that the Christian life is not about trying harder but surrender…..awesome! I needed to hear that and even wrote it in my journal. I have spent many years working hard for God, thinking I was being his “helper”, thinking that if I just prayed harder, did lots of bible study, went to church each week, etc that change would happen. Surrender is the key! Trust him and believe that he loves me!
Norma, my heart reaches out to you, I feel your pain because I am also dealing with trust issues. Having these issues has lead to fear. I am afraid to be happy, because everytime I experience happiness someone or something takes it away. I am standing on the Lord’s word the Joy of the Lord is my strength and onced received from him it cannot be taken away.
Hi Norma, thank you for your honesty. Just sharing that is going to let the power of the Holy Spirit come into your heart, your mind and home. If you can’t find the words, just say the name of Jesus. Say His name until you can say “thank you Jesus” and “I love you Jesus”. You will then be able to start unloading your heart to Him and He will respond. This can be done at night as you lay in bed or on the way to and from places – just give HIm that little and He will take that faith, your mustard seed, into Joy and answers to your hearts desires.
Thank you for your willingness to be bold in asking for confidence today and being bold in sharing where you are at. Praying for you!
My heart goes out to you, Norma. I have been in your position. You are not alone in your struggle. I encourage you to look to a support group perhaps in a church or other setting of people who have similar experience to help you gain the tools to get a new perspective on life. Read books that relate to the subject. Stay in prayer and stay connected. It is not a coincidence that God led you to this study. We have all been in rough spots at one time or another. You will be in my prayers. Glad you are on board with us:)
Norma, make Isaiah 49:23 your promise to live by: “those who hope in me will not be disappointed”. Speak this daily, several times a day. God will watch over His Word to perform it!
Renee thank you for this help. Its sad to admit this but I am so needy in the areas of my life I am afraid of . I have serious issues with driving directions my mind panic and I just sometimes don’t know where to turn even with the gps. At work I mess so far little things and now anything that goes wrong I get accused of it. Andso Its vwery uncomfortable beinf at work and trying to be nice to my co workers. I have a habit of wantinf to please people. I m so insecure. And I feel incapable of handling situations that arises in my life. I don’t want to be so needy. I want to be able to do for others and be confident and sure of myself. I have so much fear In me afraid to do and afraid to go and of what people will think and say o f me. Thank you for your prayers. God bless you and everyone.
I’m the exact same way when behind the wheel! Thanks for sharing and of course you’re not alone. Fear can paralyzing sometimes but fear of God can be freeing. May He give you comfort and strength along this journey to confidence!
I recently came to the conclusion that i am a people pleaser and have doubt in what God wants from me. You are not alone. That’s why I’m so happy to be doing this study. I know that God has wonderful things for us and that we can carry them through as we get stronger through this study and with the Holy Spirits help.
I am also a people pleaser Tina however I don’t ever think I will/can do enough to please enough. I have come to realize that it is God I need to please not family, friends, or others. I too have doubted and wondered what God wants from me and for me. I am holding strong to faith that God is doing a work in me every day. He knows my insecurities and doubts and will use them to form me to the person he has intended me to be.
I am doing this study with a friend from work We just had the people pleasing discussion at lunch. There are many of us in this boat. We discussed that we worry so much about what everyone else needs or wants that we’ve lost our own opinions and really don’t even know what truly makes us happy. We need to put our hope in God and not in our co-workers, family’s or friends. I know this in my head but I think I need a giant neon sign in front of me all day to actually make it happen! I am really in need of this study
Hi Add one more tothat boat.
Dawn, I too have realized that all of my worry is about my need to obtain others’ approval. I “know” I will never live up to others’ & even my own expectations & that I should strive only to please God. Knowing & doing are two very different things. I am still struggling with how to live only for God’s expectations & not everyone else’s. I will be praying that we all go beyond knowing to believing & living!
Suzanne, you described my thoughts exactly. I’ve been married 33 years, and I am still trying to win my in-laws approval. How crazy is that? I know I put a lot of burden on myself, but I never feel smart, pretty or creative enough when I compare myself to my sisters-in-law. I really want to break through and stop wasting my time feeling bad about myself.
Thank you all for sharing your thoughts about people pleasing. Your thoughts about needing to please God and not family, friends or others spoke directly to me. I am struggling right now with a situation where I need to accept that what others think of me doesn’t matter, I should not be trying to please them. I confess I did put a lot of hope in this situation and didn’t understand why it turned out the way it did. I have been looking for a message in this situation and perhaps this is one – I need to concern myself with pleasing God and put my hope in him.
Amen Dawn
Dawn,
I just want you to know that God is already pleased with you! He loves you and accepts you. It is proven in Romans 5:8 “God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” I pray that you remember that, otherwise we can “try” to do things to please God and that will still leave us feeling like we don’t deserve His love. We don’t, we won’t, but He loves us anyway!
TIna, i can relate. I am such a people pleaser as well. I want to do everything i am asked so that I will fit in whether it be for my family, work or at church.
I suffer from a great deal of anxiety especially at work and was confronted recently about it. I started to cry.
I know God has great things planned for me, but i often wonder what they are and how i should go about pursuing them.
so thankful for this study
Heidi,
I suffer terrible anxiety as well as a result of my people pleasing and self doubt. I have been on medication for many years, and just recently have tried to release things to God and slowly go off the medication. I love how the first chapter talks about replacing our thoughts with Gods truth.
I am thankful for this study too. It is no coincidence! I also wonder what God plans and the “how” of it all. I pray daily He will give me the wisdom, strength, and courage to walk through the doors He opens.
I also suffer from high anxiety…attributed somewhat to Bipolar 2 disorder, but also from upbringing that caused huge insecurities. Turning to God and praying and reading his word daily and getting daily devotionals helps so much because I remember to turn my anxiety and fear over to God. He helps more than anything else has.
I have it really bad when it comes to being a people pleaser and doubting myself. I find myself trying to do whatever someone asks of me but sometimes it becomes overwhelming and i just feel that i’m obligated to do theses things.
@tee I deal with the same thing. The thing that I always remember that help get me by is that God made us in his image and he wants us to please him. With the self doubt I just remember that I can doall things for which Christ has strengthen me. Repeat that each time you have doubt until you believe that you can do anything with Christ. I hope this helped 🙂
Hi, Jasmine:
I like your version of Philippians 4:13 – “I can do all things for which Christ has strengthened me.” It is not for me to do everything put in front of me, but that for which Christ has strengthened me. What He wants me to do. It seems to go with the scripture about Christ’s body and each part having a specific function. We all belong to that one body, but give to it/participate in it in our God-given, individual ways. Does that seem right? He will strengthen us for His purpose for us, not in someone else’s purpose/skill, etc. What do you think? Thank you for sharing. God bless you!
@Cindy yes that sounds great! Often I have to stop and remind myself my job is to get right with Christ not go around trying to do everything that’s put in front of me. I struggle so much with caring about what ppl think. I really need to work on that.
To Julie,
Your not alone in what you are feeling and what you are facing in your day at work or all the other things you had mentioned…But one thing that helped me to get past those thoughts, were to read 2 Tim 1:7…God did not give us a Pirit of fear, but of Power, Love and a Sound mind!!!
He loves you the way you are with all the insecurity’s you feel…And love yourself knowing HE, GOD, created you…Jerimiah 29:11 …
And you have sisters who love you and will help you overcome, as your a Overcome with Christ…
I am doing a Study with Lisa Terkurst…..proverbs 31 is the best women’s ministry i have ever come across…
Blessings,
Patty
been there doing the exact same thing, will pray for you, for i know what you exactly are feeling, we have to have our confidence in Him, & that’s where I fail, I try to control things & that sure hasn’t gotten me anywhere!
Yes, nice! I try to control things, too. I try to help people change, and that is not for me to do. I am slowly learning that. Placing our confidence in Him, and those people and situations in His hands is the best thing to do. Thank you for sharing.
Angie……I use to be afraid and panicky all the time. Please ask for Jesus’ help in this area. I had to out loud tell Satan to leave me alone………that his words in my mind were his lies. That I am a child of God and as such Satan had no power over me. I literally said this out loud when feelings of panic, fear, anxiety would overcome me on days when everything had been going well. Satan does not like you to be happy and joy-filled. Lean on Jesus and the truth. Talk and pray out loud and Satan will do away………he can’t stand the truth. I am praying that you will find the truth of who you are in Christ and how loved and cherished you are in Him.
I am dealing with thoughts of fear. It’s usually just thoughts that keep me from doing things in fear of me getting too “nervous” – I am getting better with Gods help but it is no easy task! Things that used to be easy for me have become hard bc I am very insecure. God has spoken to me many times within the past year bc I know he is telling me to stop controlling everything! That’s my big issue really is thoughts and control. Just like the book says, doubt and hope cannot coexist!
I do the same thing when Satan is creeping in! Amen!
oh my goodness! I am the same way as well! Almost my entire response in my journal in relation to this week’s reading was in regards to being behind the wheel. I hate that there are so many others who deal with this, but I must admit to some encouragement in knowing that I’m not all alone. I found the scripture from the reading: Isaiah 43:19- “See, I am doing a new thing!” and then, of course from Jeremiah 17:7 about putting our trust and confidence in HIM, to be empowering regarding dealing with this during the next week. God bless you ladies and I pray that our hearts be filled with HIS confidence rather than trying to muster up our own.
After reading a few of these comments, my prayer is that we all gain knowledge in reaching our goals of a confident heart and a genuine personal relationship with our Lord.
I agree Susan… sounds like there are so many of us out there going throught he same doubts,fears,insecurities…Many spirits of discouragement coming against us. I also pray that our loving Lord will strengthen and encourage each of us to be the women He created us to be. May we all remember that NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST YOU SHALL PROSPER. Blessings and love to all my sisters!
Thank you so much Cindy I needed to be reminded of this scriputure.
Imagine how our world would change if the 8000 women who are taking this study took these prayers and scriptures to heart and really lived with a confident heart. What a glorious day! This will be my vision as I pray this for all of these precious ladies.
That’s a great vision! What a good thought! So be it!
Let us all share in that thought and make your vision a reality.
I am so overwhelmed reading all of these posts. I have related with almost all of the posts, insecurity, doubt, fear, anxiety and people pleasing , the list goes on and on. Praise be to God that He is speaking to me and letting me know that I am not alone. That I have many, many sisters in Christ that feel the same way. I have always felt that I was the odd one, that I was that one exception that could not be set free from all the strongholds in my life. That I wasn’t good enough for Jesus to save. How blinded I have been. I know it is no accident that I am in this Bible Study, it was God’s plan from the beginning of time that I would be in this place at this time. I thank you Renee for your obedience to God, for being a available to allow God to work through you to help set the captives free! How AWESOME is our God!
Yes Angie I can concur on some of those same feelings. I am also the type that like to please others but I realized the more I tried to do that, the more unhappy I became. The only person we are obligated to please is God and once we please him everyone else will be pleased with us.
Oh Angie, I feel like you are living and telling my life story. I took a job offer 3 years ago, moving out of the medical field (comfortable) to working at a well known company as an administrative assistant (uncomfortable). I do not do so well with people looking their noses down on me. Every job I’ve had I have flourished, except for this one. The man I worked for (I have been moved to a different department because of him) always looked for the little things that I did wrong and had no problem pointing them out. It got to the point where I was afraid to do anything because if I messed up I knew he would make a mountain out of a mole hill. I was a people person and I think that is why I loved working with patients so much. Now I feel like I could care less, because anything good I do is over shadowed by the little mistakes. He also wasn’t a understanding family man. I always felt like anytime my child was sick I would lose my job if I called in. I now see that God answered my prayer even if it wasn’t the prayer that I prayed. My new boss is awesome so far, so encouraging on taking the vacation days I ask for. Has stated from the beginning that I should never feel bad if my daughter is sick and I need to stay home with her, he understands, children get sick. However, I feel that I let that one man beat me down and let me think lesser of myself.
On another side note, I always feel like an outsider. Even at church I feel like I don’t belong and I know that is the Devil. He makes me question what the women at church really think of me, I question my salvation, I question why things in my life have happened the way they have. I recently suffered a miscarriage. We were told I would never get pregnant with my daughter and after 10 years of “not trying” I found out I was pregnant, only to lose the baby 3 days later. I’m so angry over that and I don’t know how to get over it.
That is part of my story, sorry to ramble. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and I think God has a great plan for all of us and that is why he has brought all of us together.
Angela, I too spend too much valuable time wondering what others think of me, especially at the new church I’m attending and have met with the ‘not belonging’ monster too. I prayed about this decision to change church after 25 years at another church only because I felt the Lord was leading me there. But most of the time I feel like an ‘outsider’. I want the ‘confident heart’ of knowing I’m in His will and that’s will be enough.
I spent years people pleasing and paralyzed by fear. Fear of rejection, fear of upsetting God, fear of others disapproving of me, fear of loneliness, fear of being judged, fear of being vulnerable, fear of not being Godly enough etc… This fear kept me from setting personal boundaries that would protect me from abuse, it kept me from reaching out to others for guidance, support and an accepting environment. It kept me from my authentic self hidden behind shame. It wasn’t until I started to reach out to supportive loving and accepting people who knew the skills that I needed and was willing to guide me in a gentle and non judgmental way as well as share similar experiences and reactions that I realized that I did not have to be isolated because I wasn’t alone in my struggles. Also, that inner voice was a voice of the Holy Spirit that was guiding me to set personal boundaries to protect myself and children. These boundaries are Biblical I learned that by reading Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. I no longer had to feel guilty about not pleasing everyone because I was only safe and at peace in God’s will. It has been a 12 year struggle I still stumble but I now have the ability to reach out to God, look to his principles and seek out healthy relationships. I have gained respect and love for myself and from others who would have walked on me like a doormat years ago.
My precious sister in Christ, Angela;
Our Lord wants us to trust Him in everything… Phil. 4:6-7 tells us to be anxious for nothing but through prayer and supplication with thanksgiving in our hearts we should let all our requests known to God. Romans 8:28 tells us that all things work together for our good because God loves us. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us that our God has great thoughts of prosperty & a great future for each of us His chosen child.
Because of those verses I stated above, I am not angry about my miscarriage, I’m waiting on God to unfold as He prepares me for the thoughts He has for me based on the verses of 1 John 5:14-15 which tells me that I can be confident that my God is listening to me when I ask for anything that lines up with His will (for me). It’s hard to loose a child and trust God that it’s going to work for our good. But you know what? In spite of the harshness of that, if we pray without ceasing and be honest with God like you’ve mentioned He will comfort us, come through for us, take us to a new level in Him. I take the day I lost my baby as a memorial day and on this day I do something to glorify God which takes my mind off of my loss and it helps a bunch. I think it’s a healthy displacement that truly helps me.
Colossians 3:2 tells us to set our minds on things above and so I look forward to when God will unite me with the precious baby I never met who’d have said mama some years ago. I fear God and trust Him. When the disbelief laced with anger comes from time to time, I cry out to God and look at how many children were born disabled… Knowing I couldn’t deal with it if my child would’ve come like so many my heart cries out for today. I recall that my God knows me, yet He loves me enough to have given His only Son in my place and even today bends all the way down to earth to listen to me.
God heard your cry for help from your previous boss and has blessed you with a caring soul. Pray for both your former and current bosses. Ask God’s blessings upon their lives and thank Him for your experiences with both. Never doubt what God can do with our pain. God bless you and I pray for His divine peace that you may give Him thanks in everything.
Thank you Julie, God bless you for your kind words.
Hi Angela and Julie BS
Sounds like we have lived the same life in many ways. I’m looking forward to being with each and every one of the 8000 woman in this study my we all find God closer to us at the end. I will start calling my self Angela 2 so we will know each other apart. God Bless All of Us.
Thank you all for your kind words.
Oh Bless you!! I just had to share this verse with you: for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. Ii Tim 1:7
Thank you, beautiful verse.
Thank you Renee for listening to the Lord’s calling and inviting us all to take part in this journey while studying His Word and growing a “Confident Heart,” I’m excited and look forward to growing closer to the Lord and learning through you in the process! God Bless!!
Immediately, the first few sentences of the Foreword spoke to me because I believe, with utmost sincerity, that God created that longing space in all of us, and I believe He created it with only one person in mind to fill it. HIM. I’m convinced that no matter how much our parents love and nurture us, we have to fill that space with Christ, and Christ alone, and until then, we may look for other sources of confidence to patch our gaping hole, but only God was designed to fit there and only He can provide the God-confidence that belongs there.
I myself just was praying that prayer for myself. There is a void inside and only JESUS can fill it. No job, money, personal possessions, not any relationship on this earth can fill the spot in our hearts and spirit that is meant specifically for JESUS. Bless you for sharing. It just at this moment confirmed some things I have been struggling with at this very moment.. I pray God blesses you and all of us on this journey.
amen, @pat, i’ll join you in that prayer! Glory to GOD! I believe He will, indeed, reward those who diligently seek Him!
Amen
I pray God will walk we all of us on this journey also. All prise to God. Amen
Pat – this is sooo true. i have been trying to fill a whole in my heart since the age of 8. I thought material things would fill it (looking back I now see this action was material possession) but I use to call a bible hotline and say that I didn’t have a bible and I did this every week. i collected bibles and did not even understand them. I find this very odd for an 8-year old but even today, I have at least 20 different study bible. Now, I am trying to fill this whole with buying another cat. We already have four cats and a dog. My husband called me out on it and said, Tammy you are trying to fill a void in your heart and a cat wont fix that. So I decided to get a cockatiel instead. I have not bought the bird and after reading your post, I will not buy anything but I will pray for JESUS to fill this whole and I will pray for everyone hear that any void in their life be filled with JESUS. Thank you Pat!
Good for you, Tammy! I have struggled with debt before because of trying to fill my void with material possessions. Letting God fill the void is much more permanent, as HE is always the same and always present, now and forever. (It’s also much easier on the wallet!) 😉
Thank you Terri, for responding. I am very knew to using a blog, and I am having a very hard time with it. When you sent me this response, it went to my Gmail account and then aloud me to see someone responded to what I said. SO happy I am getting this blog thing now!
My Husban had just pass and way and we were in our home in Missouri and after a few weeks I was wanting to back to Florida where we had spent meny winters.My Son said he would Fly back with me and that was great I felt that with him I could get the home open and ready for the winter. On the Flite I felt that God wanted me to start a Bible Study in the Park where I new there were not many belever (So I thought) and did not thing that I could do that so I Put it out of my mine un till I got to the Church on Sunday and I thought I would ask the Paster What He thought if I was hering somthing that God wanter nme to do or was it Me, Well when I got to Church the Paster Came up to me and we talked about my Husban for a while and then he Asked me a question ? Did I think we could get a Bible study started in My Park with His Help and I just started to Laugh and told him what had happen on the trip down and then I knew that it was Gods well, We started with 6 people the next month in my living room and with in a Year we had to move the the parks hall as we had over 20 people and that was 10 years ago and it is still going every Winter for about 12 weeks and now I am trying go get a stuffed Bear minstery started for Kids that need a Hug with all Stuffed toys. I am now 73 year and God is not throught with me yet thats why I am still here with a new Husban of 4 years He is also a Great Gift from God
Praise God for your obedience and His faithfulness! Love your story! Blessings!
Thank you for sharing your story. It was placed on my heart to forward the Today’s Word from Joel Olsteen ministry. The Today’s Word was forward to me daily by my daughter inlaw. I started forwarding it to some of my coworkers who worked in the same department with me. And through word of mouth I was asked to forward the Today’s Word to many others thru the company. This grew to people outside of the company I worked for. I am now disabled and began doing the same from home. Praise God for his kindness and mercy.
I am very grateful I got to have this book divinely inspired by God to me in the very difficult times of my life. Everyday is fear, a little here and then my fear arouses. Even my own imagination make me afraid. God had been good and in His in the book of Timothy For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (II Timothy 1:7 NKJV). Whatever I do God is in control, and I do not have to be perfect for he is already perfect to me.
What a wonderful blessing to read your story! Thank you so much for sharing with us Donna!
Great story!
This story did touch my heart as well and this study is exactly what I need at this time. I have been feeling unwanted in God’s ministry in my church and I see that it is self doubt. Thank you again for sharing this and thank you Renee Swope for this study!
I agree, this is EXACTLY what I need. I have been praying for deliverance from insecurities and self-doubt for awhile now and when I happened upon this I knew it was for me also. I’m stepping out into a new ministry and feeling VERY insecure and questioning over and over “Am I doing Your will Lord or is this just me?” But I know I have struggled with this for years and would be like Renee and put a smile on my face and push on for the Lord. But I want DELIVERED once and for all. I truly want to KNOW HIM, not just IN Him. I want RELATIONSHIP not religion.
Amen Your story give me hope as I seek the life God wants me to lead. Thank you for sharing with us.
What a beautiful testimony! God bless you x
Donna Jean Smith, praise God for your testimony. It’s amazing what God can do when we reply to His voice with obedience. I’m sure we all have heard the voice of God instructing us to something of which we felt that we were not capable of. Even thinking to ourselves that we didn’t have the finance to do whatever it was that God told us to do. I have found and just learned for myself that God will put the plan and purpose out there for us but all He wants us to do is trust in Him that He is able to do anything on our behalf. He never told us to come up with the means nor bring to Him our solution for our situations, he told us to trust and do not doubt. Prov. 3:5-6 says to” trust in the Lord with thine whole heart and lean not to our own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight.” So I stand beside you and my others sisters here, believing in what God will be doing in our lives. Be blessed.
Thank you for this Bible study! This is just what I need. I have struggled for years wondering if I am truly saved and on my way to Heaven. I know that I have come to Jesus as a sinner and asked for His forgiveness and that the Bible says that I am saved, but I also have alot of insecurities over other things in my life too. Please pray that God will help me to overcome these doubts and fears through this study and that I will be able to live confidently in Him and serve Him the way He wants me to.
Fellow “Laura”, I am all too familiar with that struggle and will be in prayer for you and that you would be overwhelmingly aware of His great love for you and be filled with assurance and security in Him.
I too seem to have those doubts even though I was saved and baptized when I was 16. But sometimes I doubt it because I don’t have the deep spiritual feeling or feel as closed to God as others seem to. I’m trying to work on that but sometimes it’s hard.
I feel the same way, Stacey. I pray this study will guide us towards a more passionate relationship with our Father.
Hi Stacey~
Your story sounds just like mine. I too have doubts because i don’t have the spiritual feelings or feel as close to God as others do. I try but sometimes I get so frustrated with myself. It comes so easily to my mom and sister.
I struggle with the same insecurities, wondering why I don’t have a heart “on fire” for God and feeling ashamed that my heart can tend to be “Luke warm.” The lsentence in the first chapter that stuck out for me in the first chapter was ” Take me beyond believing IN you to TRULY believing you!” I am glad that I chose to be a part of this bible study, Thanks Renee!
Laura, Stacey, and Julie,
I can relate to your posts. I have often doubted in the last few years if I too were saved and on my way to Heaven. I know that I was saved and baptized at the age of 10. I know it was true because I have never experienced a feeling like that before or since. I felt so light and like all burdens were removed from me. As I grew, I have stumbled and made several mistakes along the way. In the last few years I feel I have become complacent and lazy in my faith. I too feel insecure when I look at others who have such an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. I desire to have a relationship with him like that. I want to have a heart on fire for God. I think I am the only thing stopping me. I struggle on how to get past this. I will be praying for each of you as we go through this study and I desire your prayers as well.
Dear Stacy;
At times we all feel that way. Maybe we got busy with something else or just a bit anxious. I find that taking time out just to talk to God and listen to Him through reading His word and engaging in something that’s just for His glory like praising Him, sharing or recalling something I know only He could’ve done for me takes me back to a place where I sence His peace and presence with me. Listening to reassuring gospel music also plays a big role in my daily worship.
I pray that as we take this journey together you’ll deduce a formula to seek God with your whole heart whenever these doubtful moments come, because they will come.
Hi Stacey –
Just as yourself, Wendy, Julie & Julie BS, I too have found myself feeling not as close to God as I know I should be and want to be. Sometimes we allow life to get in the way of our time spent with God. When I get that feeling I will immediately ask for HIS forgiveness and thank Him for all the many blessings that He has put into my life. And as soon as I’m able to, I will sit down and read the word or listen to gospel music. I have particular songs that always fill my spirit and really bring me to the Lord.
I pray that this journey will bring us all to where we need to be in the Lord. Thank you for sharing all for sharing your stories. Have a very blessed day.
Thank you everyone for the words of encouragement. Today at work, I turned my mp3 player on and listened to Jeremy Camp. Last week I was feeling so encourage and then this week I have just felt sad. I know that when I try to get closer to God, the Devil is really discouraging because my mood will just change when there’s nothing that has happened to make me sad.
I accepted Jesus when I was 8 or 9; I never really “felt” any different. Along life’s journey I have made more mistakes than I can count and somehow I always return to prayer and seeking God.
I struggle with the belief that if I died today, would I go to heaven?
I struggle with depression and just can’t seem to pull myself out of this dark place. I feel like I just go through the motions of life.
I’m hoping this Bible study will open my heart and really trust God.
Thanks Renee
Jesus loves you so much Kimberly!! Nothing you have done or will ever do can make Him love you more or love you less. I’ve seen that dark place and it is a hole that sucks you in. If you reach up, He will pull you out, I guarantee it. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your soul. When you feel like you have nothing to give, just remember that he is your strength and you don’t need to give Him anything but yourself. And He wants you just as you are. It’s not about us, it’s about surrendering to Him. He will take it all and turn it all to good. Have faith sweet sister, He is doing a work in you right now!!! I will be holding you up in prayer! God bless you. In His Love, your sister in Christ.
I am like this too. Others seem to be “tapped in” to the Living Water and are a well spring and I’m dried up. I don’t want to be a part of that evil, unbelieving generation that looks for a “sign” but I sure want to “feel” Holy Spirit more. Just like a physical hug sure helps, I believe a spiritual one works wonders also.
Stacey and Laura,
I have found over the years that when I am not consistently in God’s word and I mean daily making time for God and to study his Word….I found myself distant. It was like I couldn’t hear God’s voice. All because I had allowed other things to cloud my vision, to distract and rob me of what God had in store for me. Once I made up in my mind and changed my mind-set, that I wanted to be rid of those things that I placed before God….his Word and the understanding of it opened my eyes and ears. I was able to hear from God again. Even in my workplace, it’s very chaotic and the negativity is very high….I purposely keep my mind focused on God’s word and sing songs of praise silently as I work. It helps me to have a positive attitude and not be afraid of the unknown. I will be lifting you my sisters up in prayer as God open your hearts.
Laura, I am also very thankful for this Bible study. I am struggling with insecurties in several areas of my life. I am praying for a breakthrough with overcoming these insecurties. Thank God for his perfect timing.
Laura, I will be praying for you as well. It is so hard to find joy when uncertainty & doubt are present. It has been so helpful to see I am not alone in my fears. It seems there are so many other God living women struggling. I am so thankful for this study & for the opportunity to talk with others so much like myself.
I have the same fear! I thought I was alone.
The enemy tells us that it is only us that deals with that so that we will be afraid to share it with other believers and get the support and prayer that we need.
thank you
Laura I understand exactly how you feel and pray that this bible study will help both of us in theis area. It is really hard for me due to the fact that my husband is the pastor of our ministry and people look to me not knowing what i fight with.
I to have the same doubts. With all I have done in my life I feel He could never forgive or forget and I wonder if He still loves me after all sins I have done in my life. I have just turned back to Jesus this past November after i lost my oldest son (age 32) out of the blue. I spent a month in a drunken state and blaming God and everyone. I had a nervous berakdown and spent 14 days in hospital. But now I’m in Gods Hands and I keep praying to get closer to him.My prayers will be with everyone on this jounry with me. Amen
I am so sorry for your loss, but know that God wants you with him and he will bless you on your journey!
thank you Cyndy and God has Blessed me some already. I have a new church family and I feel they love me and are there for me but them again I’m scared to let people know what I need. Everyone tells me i’m so strong if they only knew. God is helping me open up more a little at a time.I tend to be the one people come to with their problems and needs I help everyone in my power all ways have. I’m blessed everyday I wake up and tell God thank you and I love you. Plus He put Renee and her study in my path, and 8000 other women to talk and share with. Thank you God for loving me when I didn’t even love me. Amen
I love your testimony Angela and appreciate you sharing it with us. I to am in a very tuff and ruff spot in my life. I didn’t even come to know Christ till i was 28 years old with three beautiful daughter’s. In which my youngest two daughter’s were taken from me in 2007, along with my oldest daughter whom is not blood related to my youngest two daughter’s. In TX possession is 9/10ths of the law. Their father severly beat me on numerous occasions. I took pictures but, never called the police. I left him on September 29, 2006, and had to have a hysteroctomy on Oct. 16, 2006. My youngest daughter’s b-day. I had no choice but to allow him to take care of the girls during my healing phase. My mother has MS and couldn’t help me to tend to the girl at that time they were 3,4,&8. So 3 weeks after i got the girls from due to the seperation issues. I hadn’t ever been away from my babies before and it was truly killing me inside to not be with them. So the moral of this story at this point was when i was bathing the girls i ripped open my wounds on the inside and had to be re-sutured. So he got the girls back. When he found out that there was no way on God’s green earth that i would continue in a relationship with him everytime i went to visit my babies he would call the police on me and i had no choice but to turn and walk away as my babies were standing in the window screaming and crying i want my mommy. Then the next phase i was served papers for him trying to get full custody. This was about a year after i had been trying to see my babies. Then in March of 2008 i tried to commit suicide, i went all through the holidays without and correspondence with anyone but the man i had been dating since january of 2007. He was the only other person whom had access to my home. All this time him had lied to me and told me that he was living with his mother when in reality he was living with his ex-wife. In wich it didn’t come out until last year that he finally admitted to doing this. But, he is the one who found me. Then it was like i worshipped him. He is the one who introduced me to Christ. But i didn’t come to know Christ until November 1,2009. In October of 2008 my oldest daughter called me and begged me to come get her. So I made all of plans to pick her up from school and transfer her to Arlington schools instead of Fort Worth. When my ex caught word of what was going on he kept her out of school that whole week so i couldn’t get her. I have had court orders on her since 2001, stating that i was sole custodal parent. That meant nothing to Fort Worth police. They would state that it was a civil matter that i would have to take him to court. So one day i just happened to catch him backing out of the driveway and i blocked him with my car and he tried to hurry up and get elizza into the house. During that time i was able to grab her and get her in my car. In otherwords a complete kidnapping scene like you would see in the movies. The man that i was with had move in with me in August of 2008. He help me to raise the girls until January 6th of this year. When he tossed me out of the bed and threated my life. He called the police i explained what happened and they took him to jail. All these years since 2008 i would have my youngest two daughters janet and michelle on 1st,3rd,5th weekends. And every thursday. So we had become a very close family. In 2008 he had punched me in my jaw during an argument. I let it go. In 2011 we got into an argument and he came in while i was taking a shower and shoved me into the wall during that process i had grabbed the removable shower head to break my fall as it and i were coming down it hit him in the forehead so he called the police i had to sit in jail for 10 days. We continued on till the january 6th incodent then i left him prior to him getting out of jail. On new years eve i tried to commit suicide again. So up until this january 6th incodent everything was all a blur. So at this point i have been completely lost. I found out that had naked pictures in his phone of his so called female associates. And the list goes on. Somewhere between november 1,2009 and i lost the whole insight of Christ. I had been put down and degraded on a daily basis, and that i’m not good enough or even worthy of marriage after 6 years of paying all of the bills by myself. His money was his when he did work. He did what he wanted to do daily without me even questioning not once. He would the house daily for hours at a time without me hearing on word from him. Which i didn’t care at this point due to the mental abuse it was my escape. So here i am me and my oldest daughter back at home with parents. Which is even more miserable than being with my ex. My has physically and mentally abused me and my mother my whole life. And now my girls and i are having to put up with him. My girls call him worse than a grizzly bear, a monster, an angry grumpy old man. During all of this i lost my job at the begining of february. I’m completely stuck at this time. A Confident Heart has hit so hard that tears are streaming down my face non stop. As i’m typing these words my dad is cussing me about closing the lid on the toilet. And my mom turn the AC up to 74. So he’s cursing me with the f word to tell me not to touch it in which i don’t mess with anything with out asking due to this exact reason. Please pray for me and my daughter’s safety and protection. Due to the charges against me for assault to my dad in my teenage years for defending my mom, myself, my sister, and my oldest daughter. And the catching the case against my ex last year if i catch another case it is automatic state jail time 1-3 years so i will have to sit here and except whatever comes my way without even being able to defend us.
Natasha,
I can’t imagine what you are going thru. I love the next blog by ONA.. That was a significant line to me also..Turn back to the light!!! God is so much bigger than us and all our circumstances and if we let His light shine on us we are safe in HIS shadow!!! I will pray today and continuously for you and that the LOVE of Jesus shines from you and touches the people around you!
Rita
Father, God: I lift to You, Angela and Natasha. Thank you for them and for their hearts’ desire to do this study and draw near to You. Please protect them and their families. Please help them to be strong in their inner men, spend quality time with You daily, and discipline themselves to keep their hearts, minds and eyes fixed on Jesus. Thank You for Your great and deep love for these precious women. May they know that they know that love and walk in it, relying on You and Your mercy and grace to carry them. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!
Thank you for your support. Everyday has been a trial and i’m truly looking to climb up out of this pit… Renee has been so amazing in her writings that it has truly hit me right in the heart. I don’t want to stop reading. Today was another ordeal with picking my youngest two daughters up from school. They (the school) wanted to call their father, and get his permission when they’ve had the court orders in their hands for the last 2 years. So i brought it to their attention, the principal and one of the counselors that lately my youngest daughter who is now 9. Has been coming over with discharge in the front part of panties. Their dad, uncle, g-mother, g-father, g-uncle, and gg-mother all live in the same house now. The crack head g-uncle burned down the living quaters of the funeral home where they lived. The exact words from my 9, 10year olds mouths. I know it’s the devil trying to get to me… Today after we got home and i cooked dinner while they were bathing. So when they got finished i had them bring my their clothes so i could inspect them again. And once more their is that same discharge. The principal and counselor told me to take them to the dr. Which i cant do tonight due to having to rely upon my parents who never want to get out of bed. But i do get them againg on friday. So looks like i’ll have to go to the ER with her. To get more documentation. The crazy thing is i’ve been collecting so much through the years to have had a lawyer tell me while we were in the court that it all means nothing at this point. If i went before the judge his lawyer was going to have me put in jail for 3 traffic warrant from 2003. In 2010. So i had to just settle. Believe me i will never just settle again. I will fight my way right through. I will no longer do it. In Jesus most Holy and precious name….
Natasha, thank you for sharing your testimony. I am praying for you and your girls. You will be united one day and you will look back on all of this a stronger, more confident woman. Most of my life I have been very insecure. It started back in early childhood. I endured sexual abuse from a neighbor around the age of 7 and physical and verbal abuse from my biological mother. Nothing I did was ever good enough. I was robbed of my childhood because I had to care for my three younger brothers. One was 16 months younger than I and the other two were 2 and 12 months. I took care of them while my mom watched detective shows….her fav was Perry Mason and soap operas. When ever I did something wrong, I was hit on the back of the knee with a hair brush. Not one of the hair brushes that we now but one of the old fashioned, sharp bristled one that was very ornate and with sharp edges. I was often told that if I wasn’t a good girl, then she would leave us and my daddy would hate me. I found out later that she told my brother that is 16 mos. younger than me the same thing. My father whom I adored was an over the road truck driver and we didn’t see him much. One day mom did leave. She said she was leaving to go stay with a friend because I was bad. I remember standing on the couch looking out our big front window watching her walk down the street all dressed up in her high heels and her train case….heavens, am I showing my age…lol She used that to put her make up in. She told my younger brother she would be gone until Thursday and I remember him standing on the couch watching for her to come back on Thursday as she promised him. She never returned, so I thought it was all my fault that she left an 8 year old daughter and three boys… ages 7, 2 and 12 months old. I did everything in my power to take care of my dad, afraid that he would yell at me and tell me it was my fault and my took care of my brothers. I became their mother until he met my stepmom. I resented her when she came into our lives because she tried to take my place. She became the mother and I was supposed to be the child. I didn’t know how to be a child. I didn’t know how to laugh or play. I was afraid she would leave if I was a bad girl. As I got older, I tried to find my biological mom because I wanted answers. Answers as to why she left me and her babies. Why she left my father and blamed me for it. Answers to how she could treat us that way and never look back. Needless to say, it left me a loner growing up. I didn’t date due to the sexual advances from the neighbor when I was little. I was afraid of ALL men except for my father. This behavior carried on through my high school years. I would talk to guys but that was it. I never let them touch me or get close to me. I was competitive in sports so much so that it wasn’t healthy. I was very competitive where the guys were concerned. Perhaps that was my way of getting back at the guys for that one man. It took me a long time to forgive my mother but then I find myself still trying to forgive her for much of what she had done and she died this past October. I had seen her over the years, trying to get answers and to try and get the mother-daughter relationship that I sooo craved. That never happened. I never got the answers from her but as I grew older and became a mother, it no longer mattered to me. I had to learn to forgive her and to accept her for who she was if I were to be a good mom to my three children and to be true to myself. So, I can relate to HIS words that he loves me just the way I am. As long as I remember the words Rene wrote on pg 24 “But I’ve found that when I choose to dwell in the assurance of Whose I am and who I am in HIM, I have a confident heart.” My story didn’t end there. I married the father of my children because I was looking for someone to love me and he did a good job of pretending….again insecure about my self worth. That marriage lasted 12 years and it was full of verbal, physical and some sexual abuse and infidelity. I was told that no one would want me with three kids. I was fat and ugly even though I wasn’t heavy at all. I was very thin but one you hear those words over and over, they became my reality. My children became my world. when I finally threw my husband out, he threatened to take my children from me one by one. He started with my oldest one and we went to court and the female judge awarded him custody of Christopher. A female gave my son, my baby, to a man who was physcially abusive, had a police record and thought he would be a better parent. His parting words to me in front of my attorney on the court house steps were “One down, two to go.” I turned to my attorney and told him I would be leaving the state with my two younger children and I left my family and home in NY and my oldest son, my precious child with my ex and his girlfriend and took my two younger children then ages 9 and 6 and drove to Texas where I didn’t know anyone. I had $500 in my pocket and an old Pontiac Firebird. I left under the cover of night so my ex-husnad couldnt’ follow and drove as far away as possible. Again, I have had to learn that I deserved better, I was not fat or ugly, and forgive my ex-husband for everything he did. It took me a long time to stop looking over my shoulder to make sure he didn’t follow. I have lived in Texas for 15 years when I went back to NY for my oldest son’s wedding. I prayed for all those years for forgiveness for my ex and that my three children would be united again and they were. My oldest son had been in and out of jail taking raps for his dad and in and out of foster homes. The state and my Chris was told that I was dead. It took a caseworker in NY to find out that I wasn’t dead and I was very much alive. So as we embark on this study together, no matter what your story may be, we have already taken the “first steps out of the shadows of doubt as we chose to embrace the reality of HIS measureless grace, unconditional love, and redeeming hope.” Thanks Renee. I love those words, knowing that our heavenly father loves each and everyone of us unconditinally no matter what we have done or what our circumstances are
Hi Natasha
thank you for telling me your story. I have only touched on the last few months so far. But always keep in your mind that I’m praying for you and your girls 24/7 and with out names I will put all of you on our ladys prayer group list. we get together once a month and prayer and talk for 2 1/2 hours. If we need to meet before the next date we call everyone and we meet right then with who ever called the meeting. I will be gone tomorrow but first thing thursday I will call a meeting and you will have 20 women praying for you for 2 hours strieght. And we will pray for you every morning noon and night. Keep you eyes on God and you willnever go wrong. You are a strong women you just want let your self believe it right now.We may be thaking the study to become more confident in our self but I think God used Renee to bring us all together to help eachother. With all My love in Christ. New friends Amen.
@angela…..sorry for ur loss. Praying for u and all of us that are going on this journey together Thank u for sharing. I’m so excited to get closer to God as well. My additude has been at an all time low… Long story but I’m hoping this series will bring me to a closer relationship with our Heavenly Father. Thanks ladies for taking the steps together and believing God will work and do great things thru each and everyone
Hi Gina I know God will lead us all to where he wants us we just thve to learn to let Him in everything. I m going to do my best to give everything to God and really believe in Him. I hope to make new lasting friendships here and help each other with prayer and more prayer. thank you for your kind words and prayers. God Bless
Cannot even imagine what that was like to lose a child. Praying for abundant peace and comfort ad you grow closer to your Heavenly Father, who also lost His precious Son for a time.
I am familiar with this struggle too. I know you probably have finished the Bible Study by now, and I am getting a late start, but I will pray for you.
you can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back to the light. this sentence stood out to me. I pray that God continues to reveal himself to me and others. give me clarity, help me desern the truth and give me strength to deal with situations on a godly manner. this is my prayer for us all. Amen!
Amen, ONA! 🙂
Amen, Ona! God bless you richly! May He answer your prayer for all of us!
Amen to that. We are on our way.
AMEN!
That sentence really hit me too “you can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back to the light” – God’s directives & guidance is so simple, why to we make it so hard? I have a drawing of Jesus hugging a young woman- I keep it above my phone on my wall at work- this is to continually remind me that Jesus is ALWAYS there- He is our comforter and counselor- we only need to go to Him.
That sentence impacted me too! Also, the importance of reading, living by, knowing, trusting and believing God’s word as TRUTH instead of the lies of the enemy. God bless everyone who is doing the study. May we all grow in God, be changed for his glory and blessed beyond measure – that’s my prayer!
AMEN!!
Amen!!!
That exact sentence stood out to me as well! I love it! I have a hard time sticking to any kind of devotion or daily bible study. I always have “too much to do”. Its funny though because I find when I do stick with a devotion, even for a short time, I feel so much better and more confident. Its when I get in a lull, or turn away from the light that I start to doubt myself.
I agree. There is the void that I have tried to fill with things and people, but I know that void I for God. I just don’t know how to put him or let him get there.
I know how you feel jfrink. I want to learn how to truely let Him in my life in everything I do. Prayers to you. thanks for being honest you are not alone.
For years I searched for worldly things to fulfill that empty spot. I read more books, took more classes, pursued job paths that so was not created for. It was not until I got desperate and found the end of myself that God fulfilled me by me letting Him in. He gave me clear direction. It was when I realized that because He created me He knew Where I belonged and what my gifting were better than I did. That was 12 years ago, and He still sometimes has to let me come to a place of seeking Him out when I turn to worldly answers. My New Years Resolution this year is to pursue Him. I am beginning to find peace as I struggle with my pride issues at times. Self fulfillment can not fill me up. When I struggle with pride He allows me to see that I am not perfect which brings me to His thrown again to ask forgiveness, guidance and sustenance that only He can give to fill my emptiness.
You story is a source of relieft to me. I am proud of your New Year’s resolution and will pray for your journey. I hope it is still going well.
There were so many sentences in the forward and Chapter 1 that I can relate too. Insecurities and fear have stopped me from doing so many things in my life. I think in my walk with Christ I allow other things like what will my husband thinks, who is not a follower, staying in the Word and my walk with those around me aren’t fellow Christians. Going day to day gets hard and part of my insecurity is what other’s think and how can I make them happy… all my life that is my shadow! I’ve never quite known how to deal with it or get that off my back. I’m so glad I decided to do this Bible Study! Like the scripture says “all things are possible to [her] who believe” – Mark 9:23. I’m excited and I’m challenging myself to stay with this study! I’m excited to read posts and relate to others through this Bible study! I pray everyone has a blessed week and has open ears and eyes to Gods plans as we follow Jeremiah 17:7 and Trust in HIm this week! Have a wonderful day ladies!
I had struggled with filling that void with all the wrong things for some time. It occurred quite a few years ago . At the time I didn’t know what was occurring then the Lord took me into my desert n convicted me. I thank Him repeatedly for what he did in my life. I have come a long way by the grace n mercy of God but my confidence is severely lacking on many levels. I persevered w prayer not really knowing at times what I was praying for n the Lord lead me here. I am very excited for this study! I look forward to what the Lord will do in all our lives, I pray for His Will to be revealed so we can fullfil what He wants us to do.
What resonated most in me was the entire chapter; and It is completely me, I see myself in the whole chapter. I have always had self-doubt. From the time I was 13-years old, I knew that if I was not pretty, skinny, and popular that I did not deserve love or acceptance. I learned this from my mother and her friends. They would stand without clothing in front of the mirror and pinch there “fat” and there was no fat to pinch. My entire mom ever discussed with her friends was the topic of being pretty and competing who was prettier. My mom and the other parents started involving us children, on whose kid was prettier. My entire life was based on being pretty and thus began my bulimia career. I did know God from a very young age. My family was not spiritual at all but I did have a neighbor lady who taught me about the Lord and I was baptized at 12 years old. From my earliest memory, I had doubts about my faith and this scared me even as a child. Today, I live with those same doubts. Am I good enough? The answer is no I am not. Even after reading the discussion questions at the end of chapter one, we were to read bible verses and tell how they made our heart feel. My heart felt immediate doubt. All I have ever wanted in this life is to not struggle with my faith and be a confident person. It was also asked for us to describe how we saw a woman with a confident heart. Here is how I see her and I want so badly to be this woman:
A woman with a confident heart has an amazing connection to God, she lives and breathes his words, and she does not doubt his existence or his promises. She is a woman that other people crave to be around because the confidence in her heart exuberant her entire being. If this woman is married with Children, She is just like the woman in Proverbs 31. A woman with a confident heart will experience difficulty but the difference between her and I, is she is equipped with God’s Word and the tools to get her through a brief moment of doubt. One day, One Day, I will be like her. I have been saying that for over 30 years and it hasn’t happened yet. I will not give up hope and that is why I am here. It is no accident that I found the Proverbs 31 website or that I am in this study. I am excited to learn new things about myself and how to develop a relationship with God. Thank you for listening to a very long post. My apologies, if it was too long.
Tammy
Amen and amen, Pat to what you said abt ONLY God can fill that spot He HIMSELF can fill. I really believed that if a parents were loving enough ~ encouraging enough ~ ‘there’ all the time for there kiddos ~ that their children would turn out wonderfully equipped to meet their futures head on. And I still do believe we should be that parent. The only thing is ~ WE are terribly flawed even in our BEST efforts. The weight of that when our children can’t face their futures is crushing. Then we start doubting ourselves in how we were parenting. Because I see that more clearly ~ I need to come out of this ‘shadow of doubt’ and start praying for my daughter to look to her Savior for filling the void of self-doubt and find her future safe in HIS light. Renee, I don’t know if you will go back and read this ~ I didn’t have time to start until today ~ but ~ your book ~ Gods’ Word ~ and just this one comment from Pat have already helped me tremendously!! Thank-you 🙂 <3
Also ~ just wanted to say ~ the example of your shadow was fabulous and really caught my attention and heart ~ Only looking at the Light turns me away from that ‘shadow of doubt’ ~ VERY visual example. So thankful God gave that to you and you have shared it with us. Blessings, Renee!!