Have you ever wondered why you are the way you are or why you do things the way you do? I remember all the way back to Jr. High feeling like I didn’t really like who I was. I’d compare myself to those around me and try to figure out who people liked most, so I could be like them. It was exhausting!
I want to to talk a little more today about something I shared in my devotion, “The Real Me” featured at Proverbs 31 and Crosswalk. The journey God’s taken me on to become the woman He created me to be has totally changed my life, and all of my relationships, for the better. I hope I can encourage you today with somethings I’ve learned.
First of all, comparison can be my worst enemy. My friend Genia summed it up well one day when we were talking about it. She said, “When we compare ourselves with someone else, we can never measure up because we compare our insides with their outsides.”
She’s right. I usually compare how I feel on the inside with how someone else looks like they have it all together on the outside. Paul talks about the comparison trap in 2 Corinthians 10:12, “but when they measure themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.”
Comparison leaves us confused and discontent. It causes us to compete with each other but God never intended for women to compete with each other; He wants us to complete one another. Seriously, He wants us to encourage each others’ strengths and then be who He created us to be.
Paul explains why in 1 Corinthians 12:18-20, “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.”
The truth is: You are uniquely you because God has a unique purpose for your life. God created you with a unique personality because you play an important role in the story He’s writing in your life. You are “God’s masterpiece…created anew in Christ so that [you] can do the good things He planned for [you] long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, (NLT)
There are certain thing He wants to do through your life and that is why He gave you a personality that is one-of-a-kind! In her book, Personality Plus, Florence Littauer describes four personality types. Most of us are a blend of two. See if you can relate to the desires and emotional needs of one or two of these:
Phlegmatic: Desires PEACE
Needs times of quiet, reduced stress, feeling of worth, relaxation
Choleric: Desires CONTROL
Needs appreciation for achievements, opportunity for leadership, and participation in decisions
Sanguine: Desires FUN
Needs attention, affection, approval, activity with people
Melancholy: Desire PERFECTION
Needs sensitivity, stability, support, space, silence
- Which personality best describes you?
- What are your greatest strengths? What are things you think you need to work on?
- What challenges do you face in discovering your unique “you”?
Click on the word “Comments” below to share thoughts or questions. If you don’t have a blog, click on anonymous, then leave your name and email to be part of a drawing I’ll do this weekend to give away a copy of “Shaped with Purpose : A Practical Guide for Discovering Who You Are” Workbook and CD.
Each comment will be entered for the give-away so be sure to include your email in your comment, and I’d love to know your age and where you’re from.
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I wanted to comment on this writing. When I first read the "Encouragement for Today' dated on 7/16, I just thought to skim through it and go on and start working (I get these at work as well as at home). Anyway, I read it a little more closely than normal, then decided to take it a step further and read the attached writing.
Anyway, I am 26 years old, and I am trying to figure out who I am. So many people tell me 'oh, you are young, you have time'. But I pleasantly disagree. None of us know how much time we have. We are all thankful that we get another day. So, with that said, I want to get to know me. I am a single woman and have been for some months now. And at first, I was so worried about not getting married or being lonely, but I have come to appreciate and embrace the opportunity that God has given me (this MUCH needed space) to have time with him and get to know me. I am learning my strengths, weakness, desires, and fears. It's scary!!! LOL, but on the other hand, it has been a blessing. I'm still learning, but I am getting there. I am on the journey that I'm not ready to get off of yet. I'm slowly piecing together what I would like to do with my life on this earth…..I praise God for that!
So to all of the beautiful women reading this: you will find it – just get on the journey and stay there. Sometimes you may feel at a standstill but don't give up or get discouraged. Find that quiet time that you need to be alone with God. Turn off the TV once or twice (or even more) per week (LOL, I'm working on that one – but it is very beneficial). And pray to God for the guidance you need to live your best life. And no matter what age you are, you can find it! God bless you all!
–Stefanie
Thank you, Renee, for the beautiful devotions, it is so helpful to me when I am only recently embarking on this exciting journey of finding out more about how God made me & how He wants to use me more.
I am 48, mother o six,living in Australia & involved in missionary work for the last half of my life, so isn't it funny that I am now getting back in touch on this subject & realising there is still more to discover & thrill to, even though I have loved & cherished these years & all that He has done in my life?
Thank you again, I would love to read your book, & wish you all the best in your life & ministry!
Tania,at [email protected]
Wow! I see myself in some of what you are writing. I read the four personality types and I have traits from all four. There is a
3-way tie for #1!
Thanks for your encouragement. I am a 50 year old, Jersey girl trying to start a "new life" after a recent divorce. Change is tough, especially when it chooses you and not the other way around. Honestly, I am trying to find myself and wonder if I truly knew the real me before this all happened. Looking back, I can see that I often was following the plan someone else had for me and never really learned how to make a plan for myself. I fall into the comparison trap, especially with my ex being remarried already and "on the outside" his world seems to be flourishing and he is living the life that I thought would be ours. My prayer is to "find" myself and become the true person that God created me to be and to learn to love myself because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. My prayer is that in the midst of this chaotic transition of life "Love and truth will meet; justice and peace will kiss." (Psalm 85:11 New American Bible)
I guess the main problem (challenge) is that I get overwhelmed and I don't know where to start! I long to know my God given purpose in my life and to find my heart's desire for my life. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us and letting the Lord work through you! Your words help to remind me that I am not alone in all of this.
I have been searching for "me" for a few years now. It is so frustrating to not find it. I feel like it is right in front of me, but I cannot see it. The daily devotional I read that lead me to here, spoke volumes to me.
I never thought of it as what God intends me to be. I know I am a wife, a mother, I have a job I go to 5 out of 7 days, I go to church and am a leader there. But…who am I? If all of that is gone, who am I?
Thanks for the tools for my thinking about what God intends for me to be. I am thinking and searching!
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Thank you for this devotion! I'm 26 and still trying to figure out the real me. I pray that god will guide everyone struggling in this, and that He will reveal to us our purpose for His glory.
Blessings!
Sheeba
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Thank you for your devotional. It seemed to awaken something in me that I've long avoided. My people-pleasing has crowded out my need to "find myself", and at 49 years old,I've grown comfortable in the same old routine.
By the way, when I saw your picture, my first thought was, "I wish my hair could look like hers." Always comparing myself to others – never quite measuring up.
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Well I just left my comment, but forgot to add my email address so that I could be entered into your contest.
I am 53 and so excited about what God has in store for my future in helping other women. Not exactly sure of how that will look yet, but am watching and waiting for his daily direction.
Thank you for your blog! First time I've been on your site. Thank you for following your unique God design and helping us. What a blessing you have been to me this morning.
LeeAnn
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God is so good to always bring the encouragement we need, and just at the moment we need it. He is so awesome! I just found your blog this morning after signing up for daily devos from Proverbs 31 site.
What an encouragement your devo was to read today. (didn't get to it until today) I am 53 years old and slowly but surely am figuring out the purpose God had in mind when he formed me with the unique gifts, talents and passions he gave me. I used to think 53 was old, but I am excited for all the Lord has in store for my future. Not sure exactly what it is but I do know it will be using the passion he has put inside of me to encourage, motivate and help other women believe in themselves and soar towards their own dreams.
Thank you for following God's design for you and sharing the wonderful encouragement that so many of us need to hear.
Just what I needed. Age 49, have always been there for everyone to make sure of their hopes and dreams. I though and searching for all that God wants me to be. I would love to have hopes and dreams that seemed to fade by the wayside over the years. I love my family and grandson. But I would like to get to know me and what God truly wants for this life. I am a sunday school teacher for 27 years and know that He has called me to this. I've been ill this summer for the past 2 months and all I told is that every test is normal and that stress has caught up with me. I have to rely on God daily for the strength to get up and function. He is so faithful..I am very interested in the personality traits. Thanks so much for your Proverbs 31 ministry.
What an encouragement this post was to me. I turned 40 and still struggle with "what I want to be". I plan to seek the Lord deeper and His plans for me. Can you belive that just last night I was reading a book by Florence L. and the section was from Personality Plus! I found mine and my family's and it opened up so much to me. Then this morning, I found your post and drawing. Thanks again!
I recently found your website / blog. Thank you for all that you do for the rest of us! I am a 44 year old mom with a soon to be 7 year old son, a husband, and 2 dogs. I feel that the place in my life right now is where I am supposed to be. Raising a son and being a good wife to my husband. I pray for guidance and wisdom, read my bible, read great blogs like yours. My prayer these days is asking our Father in heaven (the only father I have ever had in my life) to guide me to places and things that would honor Him and to do His work. I wake up daily with eyes wide open and amazed at what He brings into my life. Thank you.
This an area i struggle with alot especially when it comes to being a stay at home mom I love to be home and i know i am pouring all that God wants to give me for my children but i often wonder what is my purpose and what does God have for me thanks for your blog post this morning made me think alot [email protected]
I'm definitely phlegmatic/melancholy. My question to the LORD is if I'm so strongly those (especially the part about being alone and quiet!), then why am I homeschooling 4 kids?!? Alone? Quiet? Not a chance! I smile about it now, but it really does wear on me in reality. Thanks for the post, Renee.
Julie, 37
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There is so much I think I want to do. I really fit into each catagory in one way or another. I pride myself on being a Proverbs 31 woman but feel like there is so much more I can do. Just meeting the needs of everyone else can't be all there is. I know God has given me so many talents that never get tapped into. Most of my life is doing for others to the point there is no time left for what I want to do. Reading this artical has made me think about something I hardly ever think about… What do I want. I find peace in the fact the God has me where He wants me and I am doing what He wants me to do. After all, My footsteps are ordained by Him. I'm comfident that if He wants me to do other things he will open doors no man can shut and close doors no man can open.
Ture enough we want THINGS but sometimes He keeps us from things that will only hurt us in the end.
Thanks for this devotion! I can totally relate to your devotion and many responses from other women. I have never read your blog before but I'm sure that God directed be to it today! I would say that I am a cross between Phlegmatic and Melancholy. I have the book "Captivating" that someone mentioned but never was able to complete it. I think I will start it again. Thanks Renee!
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I am 39 and I thought I had my life sown up at the start of the year, a happy marriage, two lovely kids a good job and a home to be proud of – but Jesus was only somewhere in the background – how wrong I was! Calamity struck! My husband walked out without explanation! My life fell into complete turmoil!
Then, I started going back to church, my daughter is very involved with the church too – and although I'm still weathering the storm, I know God's got his hand in it all. Today when I read the devotional I felt YES! This is for me – I need to know what God wants me to do with my life – not just fumble about in the darkness – I really need to know God's will in my life. Thank you so much for showing me that I need to spend time praying about what God has in store for me.
I pray today that God shows me the paths that I am to follow.
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I just finished reading Captivating it was a great book in explainging why we as women are the way we are. Why do we compare ourselves to others, why do we long to be romanced. So many times as women we do compare ourselves, if we'd just stop and be the person God created us to be and allowed God to captivate us and romance we'd flourish!
I loved this post as I am 22 (from a smaller town in Arkansas)and just finished my undergraduate and for the past 2 months have prayed and asked God where do I go from here, what am I supposed to do next?
Thanks for sharing!
There are an overwhelming number of us that are struggling in this area. I don't understand this. Are we as women more likely to have this problem? I am 50 years old, and I don't know what my "passion or purpose" is. Do we make so much of this nowadays? We are Mothers, Wives, Career Women and still we don't know who God created us to be? I just thought I'd ask…Why?
I was so encouraged when my best friend sent me your devotional and now am even more encouraged reading these comments. It always helps to know we're not alone. I am single mom who has been raising my daughter alone since she was 3 she's now 16 and all I ever think of is helping her achieve her dreams but as she's getting close to college and moving out, this idea of my unique purpose (beside raising her) has definitely been a burden on my heart
Well, Renee, I believe my personality type(s) are a cross between Sanguine and Melancholy, (Which accounts for some interesting mood swings, I will add!) I identify with not knowing what I want to "be when I grow up." At 35 years of age, I have a stable job as a Medical Office Receptionist, but it is not something I would say I am passionate about.
I've often thought about going back to school, but some serious bouts of depression over the last few years have left behind some fears that I won't be able to follow through. I have two beautiful children, a boy, 12 and girl, 8. They also bring some interesting challenges to the table, (like how do I balance a full-time job, motherhood, school, without falling flat on my face?????)
Will you join me in prayer, as I seek what I'm supposed to do next? I know that my life is not my own. I belong to Jesus, and to the family He has blessed me with.
Now, I will close, as I prepare to drag my exhausted self home, and figure out what to prepare for dinner on a hot, humid 95 degree day…I will hold up my tall glass of iced tea, and shout, "Cheers!"
🙂 Rhea
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