Have you ever wondered why you are the way you are or why you do things the way you do? I remember all the way back to Jr. High feeling like I didn’t really like who I was. I’d compare myself to those around me and try to figure out who people liked most, so I could be like them. It was exhausting!
I want to to talk a little more today about something I shared in my devotion, “The Real Me” featured at Proverbs 31 and Crosswalk. The journey God’s taken me on to become the woman He created me to be has totally changed my life, and all of my relationships, for the better. I hope I can encourage you today with somethings I’ve learned.
First of all, comparison can be my worst enemy. My friend Genia summed it up well one day when we were talking about it. She said, “When we compare ourselves with someone else, we can never measure up because we compare our insides with their outsides.”
She’s right. I usually compare how I feel on the inside with how someone else looks like they have it all together on the outside. Paul talks about the comparison trap in 2 Corinthians 10:12, “but when they measure themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.”
Comparison leaves us confused and discontent. It causes us to compete with each other but God never intended for women to compete with each other; He wants us to complete one another. Seriously, He wants us to encourage each others’ strengths and then be who He created us to be.
Paul explains why in 1 Corinthians 12:18-20, “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.”
The truth is: You are uniquely you because God has a unique purpose for your life. God created you with a unique personality because you play an important role in the story He’s writing in your life. You are “God’s masterpiece…created anew in Christ so that [you] can do the good things He planned for [you] long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, (NLT)
There are certain thing He wants to do through your life and that is why He gave you a personality that is one-of-a-kind! In her book, Personality Plus, Florence Littauer describes four personality types. Most of us are a blend of two. See if you can relate to the desires and emotional needs of one or two of these:
Phlegmatic: Desires PEACE
Needs times of quiet, reduced stress, feeling of worth, relaxation
Choleric: Desires CONTROL
Needs appreciation for achievements, opportunity for leadership, and participation in decisions
Sanguine: Desires FUN
Needs attention, affection, approval, activity with people
Melancholy: Desire PERFECTION
Needs sensitivity, stability, support, space, silence
- Which personality best describes you?
- What are your greatest strengths? What are things you think you need to work on?
- What challenges do you face in discovering your unique “you”?
Click on the word “Comments” below to share thoughts or questions. If you don’t have a blog, click on anonymous, then leave your name and email to be part of a drawing I’ll do this weekend to give away a copy of “Shaped with Purpose : A Practical Guide for Discovering Who You Are” Workbook and CD.
Each comment will be entered for the give-away so be sure to include your email in your comment, and I’d love to know your age and where you’re from.
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I really loved your devotion! I would say I am combination of Melancholy and Phlegmatic!. I love being around people but I also enjoy the Peace and alone time! This seems to be my quiet time with God when I can really focus and tune-in. I am 47 and proud of it! I live in Arkansas!
My sister forwarded the devo from
P31 site because I struggle with this very issue of wondering what is God's grand plan for my time here on earth. Interesting to see that so many others are in this same place…and at a similar age. I'm 48, single, no kids. Thanks for the encouragement and glad to find your blog. [email protected]
I loved this devotion! I linked to it from the Proverbs 31 devo. I also listen frequently to you & Lysa on the radio (New Life 91.9 – I live in a Charlotte 'burb). I'm 38 years old & still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up! I have 2 college degrees, but haven't used them in years. I've homeschooled for 9 years, but other than that, I change jobs about once a year (part-time). I'm currently copyediting (for pay) and writing for Heart of the Matter (not for pay). I would LOVE to win this book! It would be great for my rising 10th grader, too.
~ Bethany L.
[email protected]
Psalms 139 is one of my favorite passages and I read it over and over. I am 33 years old with a 5 year old son. I've always struggled with self-worth and comparing myself to others – not feeling like I am good enough, just not able to measure up. One day, not too long ago, I was bathing my son and as I was sitting there watching him play in the water, I began to thank God for this child – for the person he is, the gentleness and fun-loving boy. And as I was thanking God for him, I began to pray that as he grows, he keeps this gentle, kind, fun loving spirit that he has now as a child. And God stopped me in my prayer and said to me, "as much as you love your son for the person he is, I LOVE YOU FOR THE PERSON YOU ARE. You ARE special to me. Stop trying to measure up to other people. I created you and my works are WONDERFUL!"
This is the first time I stopped to consider why i struggle. I believe it was God who brought me to this devotion. I am 31, a newly single mom and i have no idea who i am or what i am supposed to do? I am encouraged to know that i am not the only one out there.
[email protected] – age 40 – Maine
First, thank you so much for your email I receive …it is a blessing and I always forward them on to friends for encouragement.
After having breast cancer and going thru the chemo journey I seem to be evaluating just what God has in store for me these days.
Is my accounting job really where I'm suppose to be…??? Still trying to figure it all out.
Thank you for sharing!
Renee,
Wow! I could have written your devotional this morning. Your words brought tears to my eyes as I read them because they truly echo my heart. I'm a working mom of a precious 7-year old boy. I have been searching since I graduated from college 18 years ago. Life gets so busy that we put those things down further on the list.
I've just ordered your workbook Shaped for a Purpose. Is the CD the same material?
Thanks so much and God bless!
Leighann
Renee,
You've obviously struck a chord with many other women!
I have been fascinated with personalities for many years and read the best of the best, taken tests and thought I had my personality all figured out. But the older I get, the less I see of some characteristics and more of others that don't seem to fit in the scheme. I am not terribly bothered by it, but am just BEING who I am right now.
My thoughts have been on the life of Joseph for many months. He had a clear and unmistakeable gift and calling. God allowed him to go on a major detour in his life, perhaps to help shape and mold him and get him really focused. Joseph had to learn how to start at the bottom rung and be faithful in the little things before his DREAM was fulfilled.
By the way, I am mentioning your blog on my own site today. Great article!
I appreciated your devotional today. We've moved several times in the last 5 years, and though at one time I knew where God wanted me, I feel very unsure at this point. Constant moving seems to change you a bit each time, and I'm not really sure where I fit in. I feel a "stir in the soul" to be a part of ministry, but just not sure where that is. Thanks for your comments this morning!
My situation may be different than most, as I have pretty much always known who God intended for me to be and what he intended me to do with the strengths and gifts He's given me. I have struggled with accepting things in my life that have NOT been what I wanted them to be… however, I know that God's plan is always more perfect for us than our own plans. I just really want to use all that He has given me for His glory, but also I really want to be reconciled, content and happy with the life that I actually have….that doesn't line up at all with my own dreams, plans and wishes.
You completely talk about the way I feel. I am 37 years old and live in San Antonio, TX and still trying to figure who I really am and my purpose. I pray that God will be able to find who God created me to be.
Thanks, Renee. I am 54 and still struggling with who I am and where God wants me to be. I've never felt I measured up to everyone else and believed that I was an "imposter" in both my professional and personal lives. I quit work over two years ago because of severe depression and during that time, I've realized I spent all my time trying to be all things to all people — wife, mother, employee. Who was I? What spiritual gifts do I possess? Do I have any? Does God have a plan for me or do I have any unique qualities that He can use? Renee, God has used your ministry to help me answer some of those questions, but I still don't know where He wants to use me. I know my passions, but what are my spiritual gifts? What am I good at? I see myself in all four personality types, which probably confirms my beliefs that I'm struggling with who I am. I pray God helps me see myself as He sees me and that I passionately follow His will for my life.
[email protected]
Thanks so much for sharing such a wonderful devotion. I'm 45 years old and still not sure what God has planned for me. I love your point that God never intended for us to compete with each other but complete each other. Sometimes we women are our own worst enemy. My small group recently completed the study "Beauty by the Book" by Laurie Cole. We learned about different types of women and how we can be "Biblically Beautiful". I can't wait to share with them your devotion!
This really hit home for me today. I'm 32 and have spent my entire life doing what others have expected of me. The lord has been showing me that I need to find the real me and be who he created me to be. I praise God that he loves us so much not to leave us where we are.
[email protected]
age 32
Amarillo, TX
We can all need guidance from time to time and Jesus provided it…be and make disciples of Christ.
My husband and I began praying to be in His will and here we are in it! Praise God. Him who is above and in all things has us right where we should be even when we think we should be doing or being something else…
I have really been struggling with comparison and finding out who I am in Christ…and this has really helped guide me in a positive direction. I definitely want to get the book/workbook. I feel it would help me out tremendously. Thanks for all you do…God Bless!
Thank you so much for your devotion and your transparency. I'm 33 years old and still feel so lost and confused at times about the purpose of my life. I too have spent the vast majority of my life trying to please other people and trying to follow the paths of others. It has led to stress, feelings of inadequacy, and even stress-induced physical illness. I've been left with no real knowledge of who I am, what I enjoy, or what I am good at. I hope and pray that this devotion will be a catalyst for me to discover myself, as God designed me to be. Thank you again for allowing God to use you to speak truth into so many lives.
[email protected]
Thank God for leading me to this website today. I have been struggling these past few months, trying to figure out where I need to be in life, praying for guidance from Christ, to lead me in the right direction. Praying for an answer. Your devotion "The Real Me" on Proverbs 31 is my first step in finding that answer. I will study and read the materials you have suggested, hoping to clear my heart and mind of issues I'm still struggling with. Thank you for sharing your faith with me and others dealing with these struggles. God Bless You.
As so many others have posted, this devotion definitely spoke to me as well. Thank you. And, like many of the others, I'm in my 40's – 45 – and still searching for what God's plan is for me. This may just be His way of leading me where He wants me to go. Thank you!
[email protected]
Renee,
You did it again!! You made us all feel so normal. I look back at times when I thought I'd figured out "what God wanted from me" and then something life-shattering happened that turned that dream upside down…..only to drive me deeper into God's Word and cause me to see life from a different perspective.
I am at a crossroads once again.
Hands open. Waiting for His guidance. Thanks for reminding me that I am "uniquely me" and that God does have a plan and a purpose for my life and for my pain. He will redeem my tears. I just know it…and He will bring to light what my passions are and how to use them for Him!!
Thanks, Renee!
Love you!
See you in a few weeks!
Tammy Nischan