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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Uniquely You!

Have you ever wondered why you are the way you are or why you do things the way you do? I remember all the way back to Jr. High feeling like I didn’t really like who I was. I’d compare myself to those around me and try to figure out who people liked most, so I could be like them. It was exhausting!

I want to to talk a little more today about something I shared in my devotion, “The Real Me” featured at Proverbs 31 and Crosswalk. The journey God’s taken me on to become the woman He created me to be has totally changed my life, and all of my relationships, for the better. I hope I can encourage you today with somethings I’ve learned.

First of all, comparison can be my worst enemy. My friend Genia summed it up well one day when we were talking about it. She said, “When we compare ourselves with someone else, we can never measure up because we compare our insides with their outsides.”

She’s right. I usually compare how I feel on the inside with how someone else looks like they have it all together on the outside. Paul talks about the comparison trap in 2 Corinthians 10:12, “but when they measure themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.”

Comparison leaves us confused and discontent. It causes us to compete with each other but God never intended for women to compete with each other; He wants us to complete one another. Seriously, He wants us to encourage each others’ strengths and then be who He created us to be.

Paul explains why in 1 Corinthians 12:18-20, “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.”

The truth is: You are uniquely you because God has a unique purpose for your life. God created you with a unique personality because you play an important role in the story He’s writing in your life. You are “God’s masterpiece…created anew in Christ so that [you] can do the good things He planned for [you] long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, (NLT)

There are certain thing He wants to do through your life and that is why He gave you a personality that is one-of-a-kind! In her book, Personality Plus, Florence Littauer describes four personality types. Most of us are a blend of two. See if you can relate to the desires and emotional needs of one or two of these:

Phlegmatic: Desires PEACE
Needs times of quiet, reduced stress, feeling of worth, relaxation

Choleric: Desires CONTROL
Needs appreciation for achievements, opportunity for leadership, and participation in decisions

Sanguine: Desires FUN
Needs attention, affection, approval, activity with people

Melancholy: Desire PERFECTION
Needs sensitivity, stability, support, space, silence

  • Which personality best describes you?
  • What are your greatest strengths? What are things you think you need to work on?
  • What challenges do you face in discovering your unique “you”?

Click on the word “Comments” below to share thoughts or questions. If you don’t have a blog, click on anonymous, then leave your name and email to be part of a drawing I’ll do this weekend to give away a copy of “Shaped with Purpose : A Practical Guide for Discovering Who You Are” Workbook and CD.

Each comment will be entered for the give-away so be sure to include your email in your comment, and I’d love to know your age and where you’re from.

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Comments

  2. I'm a peace(ful) gal for sure with some control issues. : )

    Never quite saw myself as controlling but put myself in my work situation and that's me!

    Lisa V.
    Age 36
    Washington, NJ

  3. Hi,
    This page was sent to me by a friend and when I read it I was just blown away. I am 44 years old, was married before for 13 years and divorced for 11 and I raised three daughters alone. I just got married last Aug 1, 08 and moved to NJ. My saying is I don't know what I wanna be when I grow up. Because I too don't know. I lived for everyone else but me. Now I feel as though I am in this spot of sitting still and God is saying now you need to deal with you, you have no were to run. I am not working and all I'm doing is sitting home (well thats not all, house work and cooking). But anyway It's like I'm dealing with stuff that I thought I dealt with along with trying to find out who I am. And I don't know were to begin and when I read this it summed it up.

    I call myself a work in progress. I'm not were I want to be yet but I am further than were I was.

    May God continue to bless you because you are being a blessing to me.

    Thank You
    [email protected]

  4. Thank ou for the devotion on P31 this morning! It has been my prayers all my life to find what my purpose for God is. I'll be 50 in two weeks, currently unemployed again and wondering what the next adventure is that God has for me. I've always compared myself to others and still do a lot of the time. Especially now that I'm hitting the half century mark and I feel that I have not done anything special besides raise two terrific children. I will be reading the book you refered to in your blog and would, also, like to know the books you read when going through the "Who am I and what am I doing here?" stage.
    [email protected]

  5. I am such a work in progress. Even at 46 I struggle with trying to live up to expectations that I have set for myself based on comparisons with others. God has really impressed upon me lately my uniqueness and importance to him-right now. Not when I finally feel I get my act together and I'm everything I think I should be, but right now.

  6. Renee, Thank you so much for your devo. I am 42 years old and I have often wondered why I was here. I have been a People Pleaser and most times do for others and not for me. I went throught a similar personality profile through a Marriage Enrichment Retreat with my husband several years ago, it is funny how we change over the years because God is still working on me. God Bless until next time. Melissa, Cleveland, Tn [email protected] 🙂

  7. Ginger said…
    I am so glad you have addressed this topic. I am 42 and have been seeking God's ultimate will for my life for about five years. I have been through tumultuous changes–only God knows and during one of my quiet moments with God, I heard Him whisper, What do you Want?
    I remember the puzzling feeling, God is asking me what I want. I began making lists of needs, needs for my children, physical needs, needs for my family, friends,etc. In my spirit I knew I had not addressed the question My Savior had asked. I am still trying to understand and answer that question. Coming from a highly abusive childhood, I quickly learned how to keep my mom from crying and to keep my dad from raging by performing and not "being". I have to force myself daily to just "be". God is helping me tremendously and I know I am on the right path.
    I'd love to share a poem that indicates the trap of performing for others:

    Mannequin

    Oh precious mannequin, come to life and let someone love your heart full of strife.

    For though outside you look so gay,
    I know that inward, you're wasting away.

    And though your eyes like sunshine glow, your storming tears may never show.

    And though you have a painted grin, a frown is roaring from withing.

    How much longer will it take for you to realize mannequins are fake?
    How much longer will it be before I realize it's okay to be me.

    by Ginger Manakides

  8. Renee Thanks for the devotion on
    P31.I am 43 and am struggling with this, still searching who I am and waht I should be doing. I am lacking in self-confidence, always waiting for confirmation/approval, full of self-condemantion, busy trying to be what others think I am or doing what others want me to do. Of late I have been feeling so discouraged. One truth I know though is that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. so I am praying that God help me overcome all these negative thoughts. I want to be the woman that God created me to be!

  9. Its almost sad to see there are so many of us that do not know ourselves. I'm in my late 40's and made alot of wrong choices. I've heard alot of talk about knowing who you are in Christ. I can honestly say I don't really even know this. Of the personalities you mentioned I would have to say I'm a little of all of them. I'm not sure where I'm going or where He wants me to go but He does. I just hope I make the right choices to get there. I would hope to be a blessing to all who come in contact with me but I'm SO VERY FAR from there. Thanks for the encouragement. God will surly bless you!

  10. My name is Maggie Kress. I am 72 years young and legally blind. The computer is my friend because it makes me feel like a sighted person. My computer fonts are 8X normal. I just started writing articles on my blog and have posted a few on Ezine Articles. I want to share my experiences with others so they know they can be in control of their own life.

    Your article on Encouragement sounded a lot like me. My thoughts were all controled by what others thought. I had no self confidense so I thought they knew better than i did. I started to find my own life several years ago but have just found out how to Own My Life. This is only done through God. I put complete faith in him now to lead me and reveal to me what he wants me to know.

    I still struggle with my main purpose for my life. I am in a group and they call it your WHY. I am still searching to know my why or purpose I am here. I feel it is doing what I am doing now, sharing with others and giving them hope for them to get what I have. God is your only answer. My daily prayer is for him to send me the people that he wants me to meet and say the words that he wants me to say. This has happened several times since I started this prayer.

    There are so many people that need to hear that there is hope. We are going through rough times but it can only make us stronger. If everything was easy, we would not know anything different. Our daily conflicts are just challenges of life. Knowing God is always with me is such a confort and I can go through anything as long as I have him at my side.

    Thanks for letting me share with you my feelings and if you would like to know more about me go to my site http://mentormaggie.com

    God Bless
    Maggie Kress
    [email protected]

  11. My name is Maggie Kress. I am 72 years young and legally blind. The computer is my friend because it makes me feel like a sighted person. My computer fonts are 8X normal. I just started writing articles on my blog and have posted a few on Ezine Articles. I want to share my experiences with others so they know they can be in control of their own life.

    Your article on Encouragement sounded a lot like me. My thoughts were all controled by what others thought. I had no self confidense so I thought they knew better than i did. I started to find my own life several years ago but have just found out how to Own My Life. This is only done through God. I put complete faith in him now to lead me and reveal to me what he wants me to know.

    I still struggle with my main purpose for my life. I am in a group and they call it your WHY. I am still searching to know my why or purpose I am here. I feel it is doing what I am doing now, sharing with others and giving them hope for them to get what I have. God is your only answer. My daily prayer is for him to send me the people that he wants me to meet and say the words that he wants me to say. This has happened several times since I started this prayer.

    There are so many people that need to hear that there is hope. We are going through rough times but it can only make us stronger. If everything was easy, we would not know anything different. Our daily conflicts are just challenges of life. Knowing God is always with me is such a confort and I can go through anything as long as I have him at my side.

    Thanks for letting me share with you my feelings and if you would like to know more about me go to my site http://mentormaggie.com

    God Bless
    Maggie Kress
    [email protected]

  12. What an encouraging word you shared today! At times I felt as tho' I was reading some of my own story! I am in a season of life that I am coming to realize I have put many expectations on myself that the Lord never intended. Embracing this is often difficult and learning to let go, say no and simply "enjoy a simplier" life is often "difficult". Thank you for your encouragement in His truths and pointing us back to who we are in Him!

  13. Thank you for this awesome devotion. I am 33 and always trying to find the path that I am suppose to be one. I am a person pleasure and like to be surrounded by people that will love me for who I am. I am going to pray that I can look at people and not judge them.
    God's Blessings,
    Nicole
    [email protected]

  14. Renee, I read your devo and just finished reading this… both are wonderful and hit the spot.

    Thanks so much for sharing it.!

    I'm 30… about to be 31 on the 20th of this month. Yay!

    [email protected]

  15. Thanks for this devotion Renee. I am 33 yrs old, a pastor's wife and mother of two (ages 3 and 6 mos). I often feel as though I have to conceal who I really am in order to please others. Especially for the last few years I have felt that I am defined by my roles as wife and mother. It's hard to think past those roles to who I am on my own and what God wants me to do and be. To a certain extent I know that wife and mother is where he wants me right now, but sometimes I wonder if there is something else I'm missing.
    Rachel
    [email protected]

  16. I can't believe this was posted today on Proverbs 31, I have been discussing w/ my Husband what I should do with my life. I'm almost 41 and still don't know. Thank you.
    [email protected]

  17. As a mom of young kids, I sometimes wonder if I have a "me" or if my kids are who I am. What makes it harder is that I had my kids in my late 30's so I had an identity before but always wanted the identity of MOM. This was an awesome post. A girlfriend and I had this conversation about finding you when you are in the midst of kids. We figured out that right now we are moms.

  18. So often I see women all around me who seem to have it all together and know exactly who they are and how they fit and I have none of that. I desperately want to be confident as the woman God made me to be. I'm 24, the mother of two little girls. I want them to grow up knowing who they are is just right in God's eyes and be confident in that. I'm from Knoxville,Tn.

    [email protected]

  19. I had never really thought about who I really am until I read today's devotion. I am 31 and have been married for almost 2 years now. I am working so my husband can get his masters degree, but I really don't know what my goal is when we are ready to move again.

    Sarah
    [email protected]

  20. Renee, it looks like this devotion hit the spot with so many of us today. I too, (at age 52) am still wondering what God wants me to do. Besides being a wife, mother, and grandmother – what else does the Lord have for me?

    Like some of the other ladies, I know there's something in me that makes me unique, but I can't allows see it. Although, I am starting to realize, it's ok to be myself and to be happy while I'm doing it! 🙂

    Thanks for allowing the Lord to use you to bless so many.

    [email protected]

Uniquely You

My devotion “The Real Me” is featured today at Proverbs 31 website and Crosswalk. If you found my blog through my devotion, I am so glad you stopped by. The journey God’s taken me on to become the woman He created me to be has totally changed my life – and all of my relationships – for the better. I hope I can encourage you with what I’ve learned.

Have you ever wondered why you are the way you are, or why you do things the way you do? From the time I was in Jr. High, I didn’t really like who I was, so I compared myself to those around me and tried to figure out who people liked the most, so I could be like them. It was exhausting!

I am convinced that comparison is our worst enemy. My friend Genia summed it up best when she said, “When I compare myself with someone else, I can never measure up because I am comparing my insides with their outsides.” Isn’t it easy to compare how we feel on the inside with how someone else looks like they have it all together on the outside? Paul talks about the comparison trap in 2 Corinthians 10:12, “but when they measure themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.”

Comparison leaves us confused and discontent. It causes us to compete with each other but no one wins! God never intended for women to compete with each other; He wants us to complete one another. We need to encourage each other’s strengths and be who God created us to be. Paul explains why in 1 Corinthians 12:18-20, “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.”

You are uniquely you for your unique God-shaped purpose. We are all “God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ so that we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.”Ephesians 2:10, (NLT) God created you with a unique personality because you play an important role in the story He’s been writing since the beginning of time. There are certain thing He wants to do through your life and that is why He gave you a personality that is one-of-a-kind!

In her book, Personality Plus, Florence Littauer describes four personality types. See if you can relate to the desires and emotional needs of one or two of these:

Phlegmatic: Desires PEACE
Needs times of quiet, reduced stress, feeling of worth, relaxation

Choleric: Desires CONTROL
Needs appreciation for achievements, opportunity for leadership, and participation in decisions

Sanguine: Desires FUN
Needs attention, affection, approval, activity with people

Melancholy: Desires PERFECTION
Needs sensitivity, stability, support, space, silence

  • Which personality best describes you?
  • What are your greatest strengths? What are things you think you need to work on?
  • What challenges do you face in discovering your unique “you”?

Click on the word “Comments” below to share thoughts or questions. Or simply leave your name and email to be part of a drawing I’ll do this weekend to give away a copy of my CD and Workbook, Shaped with Purpose: A Practice Guide for Discovering Who You Are.

Each comment will be entered for the give-away so be sure to include your email.

Discover more from Renee Swope

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

Comments

  1. Renee,
    Thanks for the article this morning. I have been seeking God’s purpose for my life and I have been wanting to be more like you ladies from this ministry. I’ve realized I don’t have to be just like you all to have purpose or to minister to others. I work in a very secular feild and I have decided after some prayer for guidence to try to be a becone of hope and try to set a godly example to those I work around. Thanks for all your help and wonderful articles.

  2. Renee,
    Thanks for the article this morning. I have been seeking God’s purpose for my life and I have been wanting to be more like you ladies from this ministry. I’ve realized I don’t have to be just like you all to have purpose or to minister to others. I work in a very secular feild and I have decided after some prayer for guidence to try to be a becone of hope and try to set a godly example to those I work around. Thanks for all your help and wonderful articles.

  3. Dear Renee
    My Mom forwarded me this article – she knows me so well. I don’t know what my gifts are and I want to know who God made me to be! Your friend Genia hit the nail on the head with comparing insides to outsides. I am so guilty of that especially with my christian friends. I look at everyone else and figure they are at the finish line and I’m struggling to stay in the race. Thank you so much – you have given me a place to start.
    :O) Sandy

  4. I was moved to tears at the realization that it’s not just me… I struggle daily with God’s purpose for my life and if I am truly where HE wants me to be. I am enrolled in college to attain a degree just so I can get ahead with the company that I currently work for and I struggle with the issue of am I doing this for me or because someone else says that I need to. I have always wanted a 4 year degree but at this stage of my life I am not certain if it is as important as it once was. I want so very much to please God but am I? I struggle with applying for a different position because I don’t like change, yet that is exactly what I am striving for… I am at war with myself and still I do not know what “my” dream is nor God’s purpose for my life.

  5. I appreciate the insights in this article “Uniquely You”, most of the time I feel there is absolutely nothing unique about me and I wonder what happened to me along the way to where I am now… I am 50 and relate closely to c.j.’s post, I am the mother of 5 and step mother of 3… (yours, mine, ours) age ranges of 28 – 5. Three currently at home, girls 17 & 16 years old (mine) and ours a beautiful 5 year old son that we named Seth because we feel he was appointed by God 🙂 My life is somewhat wrapped up in the kids and being available to their needs but I am also enrolled in college to get a degree in order to advance at my job.

    The article brought me to a mirror of reconciliation on these things in my life… why am i going back to school, is it to realize my dream or once again please someone else? Why am I wanting to advance in a career that I really don’t love? What are my dreams and how does my reality relate to them? I have multiple stressors and wonder just how I have reached this place and wonder even more how am I going to reach the place that God wants me to reach… i really need some time for reflection and self realization but I fill like you did at 32 when you were asked what is your dream, i too feel like an elementary school age child, “I don’t truly know…” My husband and I love backpacking and hiking and someday want to do a longdistance hike together that would be one of my dreams and that is one reason my husband calls me Dreamweaver, because I weave dreams but I need to find out if they are really mine or his… or what others think I want to do… thanks for writing such and insightful article to help us find God’s purpose for our lives…

  7. Renee!
    thanks so much for that devotion. It really spoke. I am 25 years old and a mother of three beautiful children under 5 that God has truley blessed me with. But you also know how stressful it can be trying to raise children to be like christ in this world today. I could ramble about that- it is such an issue. Sometimes I get lost in my family and think of “the real me” as what I do with my family. Child development is a natural interest to me so all the things that I do are for them but a part for me. My husband always asks me what it is I would make me happy- my answer is always something having to so with the kids. It is so easy to get lost during the child rearing years but our dear wonderful Father has another plan for us outside of our family to glorify His kingdom. That is what I need to seek. And that is where I am lost becausse there is so much that comes to mind. The only answer would be to pray and be patient.
    I hope all you ladies are standing on your posts (Habukuk 2) waiting for God to reveal to you what he needs you to do. He is so wonderful and orderly that it will fit right into what it is that you truley love to do! The real you!
    thanks