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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Read An Excerpt: Chapter 1 & 2

There is No One Like You!

Do you remember being in middle school? Those were the awkward years. I remember not really liking who I was or how I looked. I have a feeling a lot of us didn’t like ourselves at that age, but we all desperately wanted others to like us, right?

At that point, I think a lot of us secretly compared ourselves to those around us, observed who was liked most, and tried to be like the popular people.

In my Proverbs 31 devotion, “Becoming the Real Me,” I talk about having that same unhealthy habit in my adult life, too. And I know I’m not alone. For many women, it wasn’t just a phase when we were teenagers; it’s still a struggle now. Sometimes it’s because we don’t have the confidence to find out who we really are. Many of us are just more comfortable buried in busyness and hiding behind our self-doubts.

Lots of times it’s because we’re believe we don’t have anything special to offer anyway, so we just keep being who others want, need or expect us to be.

Well my friend, it’s time to do something about it. How? First we have to stop comparing ourselves to other women. Why would we compare how we feel inadequate on the inside with how someone else looks like they had it all together on the outside? We’ll always end up feeling less than.

Not only is comparison toxic for us personally, it’s also destructive relationally. Comparison makes us measure our worth against other women, and we end up competing with each other.

But God created us to complete one another, not compete with each other.

In my book, A Confident Heart, I share how we can do that by encouraging each others’ strengths, overlooking each others’ weaknesses and celebrating each other’ uniqueness.

The truth is, life is hard and we need each other! “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.” 1 Corinthians 12:18-20

God gives all of us unique personalities, abilities, passions and experiences because we each play a leading role in the story He’s writing with our lives.

So, today when you are tempted to compare yourself to another woman and doubt starts whispering that you’re not as smart as she is, or gifted or pretty or godly…remember you are “God’s masterpiece…created anew in Christ so that [you] can do the good things He planned for [you] long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, (NLT)

In my upcoming book, A Confident Heart: How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Live in the Security of God’s Promises, I have a whole chapter on this topic and other self-doubts that keep us from becoming the women God created us to be!

I’m giving away three copies today, but first I’d love for you to watch this 2-minute introduction video.

I’m praying for each of you today as you begin to discover and embrace the woman God created you to be! Remember, there is no one like you…and the world is missing someone special until you become her!

If you’d like to read A Confident Heart when it releases, and share it with friends, enter to win 3 copies (1 for yourself and 2 for friends) below:

  • To enter one time, click on the word “comments” below to share thoughts about today’s topic. (If you don’t have a blog it’s okay, click anonymous and type in the white box. But be sure to leave your first name to be part of a drawing).
  • To enter two times, leave a comment with your thoughts and leave another letting me know you’re sharing this post via Facebook and/or twitter with a link back to my twitter page @reneeswope or back to my Facebook page @A Confident Heart by Renee Swope FB page.(https://www.facebook.com/renee.swope?ref=name#!/pages/A-Confident-Heart-by-Renee-Swope/160376334023273)

A Confident Heart releases August 1st, but you can pre-order yours at P31 today and be the first to receive a signed copy in early August! (P31 is getting early copies in mid July.)


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Comments

  1. Thank you for this devotional and for your upcoming book. I have just been talking with some of my friends about issues just like this. Hurdles that I need to find a way across to be the woman God created me to be.

  2. I needed to hear this today.Sometimes I feel like I have to give up my own dreams and wishes to be a good mom and wife. I'm not sure what they even are! I will be praying for God to show me the real me! Thank you for your insight.

  3. I must say this really touched my heart. I seem to be in that spot these days as I grasp my place and purpose. God is so good and loves us for who we are and I am so glad to know he knows I am a work in progress.

  4. I am sad to say that I am guilty of comparing myself to others and being unhappy with who I am I can say I won't be posting this on facebook not because I wouldn't love to share this just because God has shown me that is one of the things I needed to give up even if its temporarily until I can completely find joy with myself facebook and other social sites add to the damage of compairing oneself with others because majority of what you see out in the social world are facades If it is God's will I will someday write and publish a book about all the things God has shown me during this time. Also there were many things I liked to do but once I was blessed with a family somewhere down the road I lost all the things I loved to do so dearly.My dreams somehow no longer fit in and that was something I was ok with because having a large family is 24/7 and I hardly get time for myself. But in this time I can say I have sacrificed everything for my family and to build a relationship with God like never before and I can say that he is truely working a miracle and slowly restoring all the things I loved to do back into my life. 🙂

  5. Funny how these very thoughts have been rolling around in my mind for years and I just figured it was my "normal." I've not ever taken the time to find out what I like, thinking it just wasn't that important. Thank you for showing me that God wants me to be ME! Toni

  6. Funny how these very thoughts have been rolling around in my mind for years and I just figured it was my "normal." I've not ever taken the time to find out what I like, thinking it just wasn't that important. Thank you for showing me that God wants me to be ME! Toni

  7. I appreciate your devotion today but I have to say that I'm really tired of being told that if I don't have this great conquest that I'm not fulfilling God's promise and falling short. I love the life that I have and I don't need to go out and stand on a mountain to feel that way.

  8. I too would not know how to answer if someone asked me what my dreams are, or what I enjoy doing. It seems crazy not to be able to answer such a basic question about myself. I have two little girls and I know that in this season of my life God wants me to focus on being their mother foremost. I struggle with the how to do that withour losing a sense of who God made me to be apart from my children. There is even guilt in thinking that I need that.

    I am reading Beth Moore's book on insecurity, and I think your book will be a great addition to what I am learning!

  9. Thank you for posting this. It has really touched my heart. I have been so ashamed to say that I have no idea what God wants me to be doing. When asked what I want to do/be, I have no other answer than "I don't know." I felt God say to read the book.
    May God richly bless you!

  10. Oh man do I ever know what its like to be a people pleaser. Just last night a friend and I were talking about what we wanted to be when we grew up. I have been trying to discover which path God wants me on and focusing only on me and God instead of others.

    Debi

  12. I was so encouraged by your devotion today. I have struggle really knowing who I am for many years… mainly due to a mother who always told me what to do via guilt trips. Course she got it from her mom and so goes the chain. I'm hoping to break the cycle and that it does seem to get better with each generation. Thank you for speaking out and writing something so encouraging for the next generation to become what God wants us to be, not our mothers.
    Sincerely, Angie

  13. In the struggles of becoming who God created me to be, I have found that I need to be careful not to overlook the fact that it is God who does the work. I don't need to change to become that woman because I already am her. In Psalm 139, it is past tense…"He created us, we were woven" etc. We are HIS workmanship! We simply get lost & distracted in the things of life and forget who we are…beautiful daughters of the King of Kings! Thank you for your words of encouragement, Renee. We will all do well to seek God's plan for us and know that He is faithful!
    Andrea Bock

  15. As I read and listened to your video I just remembered what my daughter came home to say after her youth group. She said that "God has a plan for me. A plan that is way better than I could ever imagine". Remembering to do life with a fresh, young outlook is necessary to feel refreshed. As women, we are the ones that really allow us to get bogged down with the daily routines. Whatever you do, whether it is being a custodian or a homemaker, do it with a servants heart that everything is done in his name. Joy will come from that if your heart is truly living for him. You will not feel insignificant

    • I have to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in writing this website.
      I’m hoping to check out the same high-grade content by you later
      on as well. In truth, your creative writing abilities has encouraged
      me to get my own, personal blog now 😉

  17. I can so relate to your devotion. I am almost 35 and I struggle with what my desires and dreams are. I don't really know what I enjoy. I am excited for your book to come out.

  18. I have always wondered if I am doing what God planned for me! Maybe I've been doing what's expected of me by others. I need your book. Connie

  19. I am a woman who as a child was the product of a divorced home. I have always struggled with feelings of inferiority and incompetence. Since becoming a mother, these feelings have become intensely magnified because I want desperately for my daughters to feel worthy, wanted, and loved! I'm discovering for myself, and passing on to my precious children, the only place to receive completeness is through the redemption of Jesus! Thanks to Renee for your good works and encouragement of women that we can indeed become all that our loving Creator has in store for us! Michelle

  20. Thanks for sharing this today! It spoke to me. I have struggled with this in my life. I need to be reminded daily of what He says about me and look to Him to show me the works that He has prepared for me in advance to do and not say yes to every good thing but wait on Him until He reveals to me the God thing he has for me. Blessings!

  21. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and heart with us. This is something I struggle with too. Even though I'm already in my 30's I still don't really know what I want to be when I grow up. Your devotional really encouraged me to seek Gods guidance.

  22. [email protected] I was born an illigetimate child and have always felt like I wasn't good enough. Your message today made me stop and think what I was created for and like you I couldn't say what it was. I prayed the prayer and hope God will show me His will for my life. I'm 59, but I know He can still use me for His purpose and show me what I'm good for.

  24. Looking forward to reading this. I don't think I've ever taken the time to figure this out. I get some glimpses now & tehn, but I don't slow down enough from the busy-ness, and I don't try to. Few things make me as uncomfortable as self-reflection.

  25. As a mom of two and starting a MOPS group this got me thinking who am I really…I want to uphold all God created me to be. Thanks for getting me thinking. AManda Hamon

  26. I have been praying for a while now for God's dreams for me to be realized in my life. Your words just pounded in my heart and soul. I related on every aspect you spoke of. Thank you for your inspiration and I know that I am a treasured child of His! Cathy

  27. I JUST texted my friend about the fears and doubts you mentioned in your blog. Ever since I got saved, I jumped right in to "be" the "right" type of Christian I was "supposed" to become. Which really meant I got busy doing and literally got completely burnt out. When I stepped away from serving in ministries, I wondered "who I am?" because I didn't have a function or title to label me. Now, I find myself starting all over again and seeing that it is very easy for me to slip into the do mentality. Lord Jesus, help us!

  28. Today spoke about a desire of my heart, I loved being a mom and that was my goal as a child but I'm always trying to discern what my gifts are and where to use apply them, the real me!
    Fran D.

  30. I am pretty sure your book was written just for me. I feel like I desperately need the message NOW. I guess I will have to wait until August, but will seek the Lord as best I know and ask Him to bring healing!

  31. Renee, I love your devotional and post for today. Learning who I am in Christ and learning that I'm the woman God wants me to be has always been hard for me. Just last week a close friend of mine encouraged me about this very topic. I had told her that God forgot about me when he was handing out looks. I've always been one to put myself down about so many things. I'm not pretty enough, I'm not as spiritual as the next person, and so many other things. I need your book.

  32. Today spoke about a desire of my heart, I loved being a mom and that was my goal as a child but I'm always trying to discern what my gifts are and where to use apply them, the real me!

  33. I'm one of those women that bury herself in the busyness of life and what others expect from me. I've always struggled with this and I'm about to be 37. I also struggle with figuring out what God's will is for me. We are often asked in our church to use our gifts and talents; to have dreams for God … well, I don't really know. I hope this book will really help me to discover who I am and to trust God's words that I am wonderfully and fearfully made. Thank you all for your thoughts.
    Marta

  34. I do not know you personally but you wrote about the very season I'm in now. I'm feeling like at this point in my life at the age of 36, I should know my purpose that God has for me, but I don't. No one really addresses the issue of self-comparison with others and how it feels to not measure up (so you think about yourself). Thank you for letting me know I'm not the only one and that there is more to life than just "busyness" and the cares of this life. Thank you, you spoke volumes to me today.

  35. I loved this message today and I can't wait until your book come out. Thank you, Melissa

  36. Listening to you today I realized how much I struggle with these same issues. Not only that, I hear other women saying some of the same things. I wonder if this is just a "woman" thing, a "me" thing or just a "human" thing we all struggle with. Whichever it may be, I'm tired of it. Thank you for your words to my heart.

  39. I feel like you were talking to me today. I am 46…and still haven't figured out what I want to do with my life! And, of course, that causes me to feel less than others. This gives me something to think about! Thanks!

  40. I never realized this was what has been wrong with how I thought – I did realize I couldn't pinpoint any personal dreams…or at least that some of my dreams seemed so unrealistic to me that I never tried. At 43 years old, I've always tried to do what others thought were best, but I do want to find out what God has planned for me!

  41. I am struggling with this so much. I have been divorced almost eight months and I feel stuck. What do I want from my life?? I am 40 years old and have no dreams or focus. I know God has a plan just for me and it is good but I feel like life is moving forward without me… Thank you for your words, I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

  42. My name is Misty and I think what you said really got to me. I am 26, married and a mom to 3 children. While I love being a wife and mom I feel there is something else God has planned for me but I dont know what. I have really lost myself and am not sure the direction God want's me to go. I need to remember to be patient and trust in Him.

  43. Your devotion today Renee touched my heart. I listened to your video also. I am constantly trying to figure out what God's plan is for me. I am always doing for others and, yes, feel self-sacrifice. I'm not sure what I want. I wanted so much to have my college degree but have had to work two jobs the past 15 years day and night and haven't felt like I've been able to do that. I have sent my kids to college. I have a beautiful family. I am active in my church and I love doing things for other people. I ask you to pray with me as I ask God to guide me. I would love to read your book. I know the Lord made me unique but am I doing what he wants me to do.
    Thank you Gwen

  44. Thank you for reminding us that we are unique in the ways God has made us. I struggle with my God-given purpose. I'm a 37 year old mother of three and wife. I just finished my elementary education degree after deciding to finish two years ago. My husband owns a business and I am currently working in his office because he needs me to. I have been wondering why God wanted me to finish my degree if I'm not going to use it. Hopefully your book will help me put things in perspective!
    Bless you!

  45. Today's topic on Encouragement was exactly what I struggle with. I find myself at a new place in life being widowed with a little over a year with this new title, and realizing for the first time in my life . I don't know who I am, let alone who God made me to be . I have been a caregiver and people pleaser my whole life… todays topic has encouraged me to seek deeper answers. Thank you for a the kick-start I received this morning.
    June

  48. My name is Cassi. I know for certain that i stumbled upon your website for a reason. I have been crying to Jesus about my worth in life. I feel as if i have no reason, no meaning, (other than motherhood), to be here. I can't wait to get a copy of your book. I need to search within myself to figure out how to be the me that God wants. But right now i don't know who that woman is. Thank you for reaching out to women. I still can't believe i found this website. I am going to post your link on facebook. I want everyone to know their purpose.

  49. I truly need the Lord to show me what He wants me to be…when I grow up LOL My walk with Him has been a process. When I accepted Christ into my heart and life 36 years ago-I wasn't magically transformed into a Super Christian…it has truly been a process. If I strayed I always came back home. That is where I need and want to be. The purpose of my life? To love the Lord God with all my heart, to be a confidante and an example to my children-always showing the truth to them. I have found out my passions, photography, baking and collecting/sharing information to help people. I just need Him to show me what to do with it 🙂 Love your devotions, Renee. Please keep sharing.
    Michelle

  50. I thoroughly enjoyed today's devotion. It made me smile and really reflect on who I am and the woman God wants me to be. Thank you. I'm looking forward to prayer time with the Lord today and sharing this with my girlfriends! Have a blessed day!