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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Read An Excerpt: Chapter 1 & 2

There is No One Like You!

Do you remember being in middle school? Those were the awkward years. I remember not really liking who I was or how I looked. I have a feeling a lot of us didn’t like ourselves at that age, but we all desperately wanted others to like us, right?

At that point, I think a lot of us secretly compared ourselves to those around us, observed who was liked most, and tried to be like the popular people.

In my Proverbs 31 devotion, “Becoming the Real Me,” I talk about having that same unhealthy habit in my adult life, too. And I know I’m not alone. For many women, it wasn’t just a phase when we were teenagers; it’s still a struggle now. Sometimes it’s because we don’t have the confidence to find out who we really are. Many of us are just more comfortable buried in busyness and hiding behind our self-doubts.

Lots of times it’s because we’re believe we don’t have anything special to offer anyway, so we just keep being who others want, need or expect us to be.

Well my friend, it’s time to do something about it. How? First we have to stop comparing ourselves to other women. Why would we compare how we feel inadequate on the inside with how someone else looks like they had it all together on the outside? We’ll always end up feeling less than.

Not only is comparison toxic for us personally, it’s also destructive relationally. Comparison makes us measure our worth against other women, and we end up competing with each other.

But God created us to complete one another, not compete with each other.

In my book, A Confident Heart, I share how we can do that by encouraging each others’ strengths, overlooking each others’ weaknesses and celebrating each other’ uniqueness.

The truth is, life is hard and we need each other! “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.” 1 Corinthians 12:18-20

God gives all of us unique personalities, abilities, passions and experiences because we each play a leading role in the story He’s writing with our lives.

So, today when you are tempted to compare yourself to another woman and doubt starts whispering that you’re not as smart as she is, or gifted or pretty or godly…remember you are “God’s masterpiece…created anew in Christ so that [you] can do the good things He planned for [you] long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, (NLT)

In my upcoming book, A Confident Heart: How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Live in the Security of God’s Promises, I have a whole chapter on this topic and other self-doubts that keep us from becoming the women God created us to be!

I’m giving away three copies today, but first I’d love for you to watch this 2-minute introduction video.

I’m praying for each of you today as you begin to discover and embrace the woman God created you to be! Remember, there is no one like you…and the world is missing someone special until you become her!

If you’d like to read A Confident Heart when it releases, and share it with friends, enter to win 3 copies (1 for yourself and 2 for friends) below:

  • To enter one time, click on the word “comments” below to share thoughts about today’s topic. (If you don’t have a blog it’s okay, click anonymous and type in the white box. But be sure to leave your first name to be part of a drawing).
  • To enter two times, leave a comment with your thoughts and leave another letting me know you’re sharing this post via Facebook and/or twitter with a link back to my twitter page @reneeswope or back to my Facebook page @A Confident Heart by Renee Swope FB page.(https://www.facebook.com/renee.swope?ref=name#!/pages/A-Confident-Heart-by-Renee-Swope/160376334023273)

A Confident Heart releases August 1st, but you can pre-order yours at P31 today and be the first to receive a signed copy in early August! (P31 is getting early copies in mid July.)


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Comments

  1. I was just planning to blog about this today – well, specifically about wanting to be someone I'm not naturally. More demonstrative, more vocal about my faith, more…something. This message arrived in my inbox this morning and really resonated with me. I would love to win your book!

  2. A very thought provoking devotional and blog. If you ask me at my age (49), I am not sure what my true purpose is, what are my passions and what are my strengths. What a shame? i.e. to me but not to God because He knows my true purpose in life. I would love to read your book. I pray that I will be selected so I can start to discover who I truly am and if I don't I will pre-order it.

  3. OMG .. I am 54 years old and still have no idea of what God had planned for me. I cannot wait to read your book.

  4. Wow. This is so me. I am 45 and still unsure of my dreams or God's dreams for me. Please pray "God gives me wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him and enlightens the eyes of my understanding". Eph 1

    I am in a constant cloud of doubt and insecurities and have been as long as I can remember. I am looking forward to this book.

    Sonya

    • Your style is very unique compared to other people I’ve read stuff
      from. Thank you for posting when you’ve got the opportunity, Guess I’ll just bookmark this page.

  5. Wow… When I read about "There is No One Like You! today I felt like this book must have been written for me. I'm 50 and have always struggled with what is my purpose in life. Is it just to be a good mother, good wife? I've always felt like there was something I was missing. I can't wait to read your book.

    Sharon

  6. THANK you THANK you THANK YOU!!!! look forward to reading your book… (Mary Caldwell)

  7. I am 55 years old and have lived in the shadow of my 3 sisters all my life. I feel I can never live up to what people think I should be according to their talents and accomplishments. I often question whether I am where I am suppose to be, doing the things God planned for me to do. Todays devotion has made me think about all the questions I have about myself. Hopefully I will be able to be all God intended for me to be before I meet the Master.
    Teresa

  8. Wow, I can't wait to read this book. This is exactly what I have been struggling with and working on so hard to try to change about myself. It helps to know other women struggle with the same thoughts of being a failure.

  9. YES! This is wake up call to all people pleasers. Thank you for your opening our hearts and minds to being who God made us to be. I am excited to dig into this book.
    Kristi W.

  10. What an amazing message that blessed my heart today and one that I most definitely needed to hear … as I started my day I felt like just a big failure! I so needed this truth and word of encouragement. Thank you and God bless

  11. I really needed to hear this today! For so long I have struggled with not measuring up to other women. Sure I realized that I have a lot to offer and God made me for a reason, But. I could never seem to shake that voice inside suggesting I just would never be as good as all the other "Godly" women in my life. You have really inspired me to seek to find out what exactly it is God has created me to give. What gifts do I have to use for the glory of God? Thank you!

  12. WOW! It always amazes me how God knows what i need to hear each morning and taht Proverbs 31 always provides it! I'm a 38 year old mom of 3 teenage boys, and have truly lost my identity and my goals. I have spent all of my adult years being who my family needed me to be and it saddens me to think that I could not answer the questions your brought up, I cant wait until your book comes out!

  13. I have always and still doubt that God gave me a "talent" to share with others. I see talent as being able to sing, dance, play an instrument, etc. and I can not do any of those.
    I believe your book is a 100% fit for me. God can't be finished with me yet.
    If I win these 3 copies I will be able to share with a friend that I have been looking for a way to reach out to.

  15. Truth is I don't know when this feeling of uneasiness with my current goals came about. I've cut off all of my hair, stopped communicating with folk who cause me stress – pretty much a recluse now – but it still doesn't feel right. As an employer and business owner it is ridiculous that I have to pep=talk myselk into going to waork each day.. Either I am allowing the devil to control me with unknown fears or I need to stop, look and listen for my directions from above. They don't stop coming. I think we just turn a deaf ear when things get a lil bit comfy..

  16. I have been waiting for years to hear this devotion! I have always wondered what my purpose and dreams were here on earth. I would love to win a book but will definitely buy one if not because this devotion made me realize I need to find some answers!
    Valerie L

  17. I am 55 and I still do not know what I want–isn't that sad… I hope I win–I have been praying about this all the way to work–I was meant to read your writings today!!! Thank you and blessings on you Renee—Barb wall

  18. You are writing about what many need to hear. Just as in your post at Proverbs 31, I am that 32-yr old now and prayerfully desire to know God's true purpose for me. Yes, it is so easy to get caught up on what every other woman has going on (or so we think) and not to really focus on ourselves and listening to what God is telling us. Can't wait to read this book and be touched even more.

  19. As a 54 yr old mother of a 12 yr. old daughter, I often tell her that she was fearfully and wonderfull made in God's image. Often times, my spirit is filled to the brim with the power of the holy spirit and I can relay those feelings with so much confidence and exuberance. There are otther times when past and present hurt, doubt and absence of reading God's word can cause me to completely withdraw from showing compassion for the lost and not witnessing about the love of God to those that need to hear it. My prayer is that I will be, not just do, whatever God has purposed me to be. And in being me, God will get the glory, my daughter will gain the confidence in allowing God to shape her to be what he has purposes her to be. It is not a easy task, but essential to live a victorious life. Our purpose is to be a light in the midst of darkness, for we are fearfully and wonderfully made for and by God.

  20. I thought I was the only person in the world that did not know what hobbies or interest I have. I do not know because my life has always been about serving others. Thank you for sharing this!

  21. I posted a link to your fb page and blog on my fb page. Lots of internet traffic coming your way! 🙂
    Thanks, Amy Pitman

  22. I definitely need help in this area. I play the comparison game and am very critical of myself. I want to live like I believe that I am accepted, that I am loved so deeply right now. I know God doesn't make mistakes, but I live like I believe I am a mess, that i'm not a good enough mom, wife, sister, daughter and friend.

  23. I have been struggling with this exact issue so much lately. I can't wait to read your book and to begin exploring these very issues now in prayer.
    Thank you.
    Neely

  24. I read this blog after reading P31 today. I need to read this book. Everything you said describes me to a tee. I am 35 years old and have no clue what God wants me to do in my life so I stay super busy thinking that is what I am suppose to do. Be everything to everyone and I stay exhausted and unsatified. I am at the point in my life where I am ready to make a change and discover what God has instore or me. Thank you so much for the P31 dovotion and this blog. I can't wait to get a copy of this book.
    Brandi

  26. I struggle with this because I don't understand how this meshes with dying to yourself, considering others more important than yourself…having the mind of Christ. He was God but became man to accomplish salvation for all. So if we sacrifice our desires doesn't that serve God's purpose in some way? I would love some positive feedback of clarification/ideas.

  27. I am 55 years old and still haven't a clue as to "who I was made to be" – I function as a wife, an empty nest mother, a part time nurse, a former caregiver to now-deceased parents but when it comes down to what are my dreams? I find I have none. Help!
    Pam

  28. This touched me right in the rut I have put myself lately! I do 'know' that when I compare myself to others, I always lose, but it is such an easy trap to fall into! Thanks for the encouragement first thing in the morning!

  29. Renee- So excited for you and the release of your new book. I am so excited to read it and put my doubts and insecurities down. I really realized reading your devotion today that I am hungry to find out what God desires me to do. I LOVE being a wife and mother but my hear longs to do more. I just am not sure what…..Thanks for sharing your story and saying yes to God. Kelly

  30. I have shared it, and posted on your facebook page.
    Boy do I need your book. One would think being mid 50's they should be able to answer the question. Life can deal you with things and turn another way. With me it did. As I always wanted to be a mom and wife, those jobs been done. Kids are grown with thier kids, husband was called home on April 18th, 09. Now I feel this void inside of me, who am I, what does GOD want me to do now. Survive I'm trying to do, but I feel GOD wants more from me, but what? GOD is taking care of me, Praise GOD! Now, I have some health problmes and can't work…
    I always doubted myself due to my upbringing. I need your book . It could help me.
    I know I'm a child OF GOD, but I know He put me here for a reason, but is that reason over with, I don't think so, but what is next?

  31. Can't wait to read this book. How i need it. I remember when the topic of dreams (not the ones we have at night but what we hope for) came up in a small group. I remember thinking…people have dreams?? I was so caught up in the day to day living that I totally forgot that one could hope for more…dreams!

    Thanks for the devotional and the post today!

  32. I like that each of us is constantly becoming. Even if we think we're fulfilling God's desires for our lives and using the gifts he gave us, He always ups the ante. He doesn't let us remain stagnant.

  33. Thank you, Rene, for allowing God to use you to speak much truth about women of all ages. Brought to mind today specifically are my 21 year old daughter and 62 year old sister-in-law, both of whom are struggling with "who am I" and are extraordinarily fearful of the process of finding the answers to that question. I am anxious to share your resources with them and pray that God will use them mightily to guide and bless them both as His beautiful women of faith.

  35. Throughout the past few years, with your help and the help of Proverbs 31 I am realizing exactly what you said in todays devotional about about never taking the time to think about "My" dreams and who I want to be! Maybe in the past I have been comparing myself to others and thinking there is no way I could ever be like them! Now I ask myself, why would I want to! God created me to be me and that is my journey. To be confident to be me! Can't wait for the book!!

  37. I know without a doubt that God is calling me to be more than I currently am. I know He has a mighty plan for me, but I do struggle with doubt and insecurities. Reading your blog today, I don't feel alone in this struggle and am looking forward to your new book coming out.

    Thanks! Amy Pitman

    P.S. This giveaway sound GREAT and if I win, I have a couple of ladies in mind for the other 2 books 🙂

  38. I'm still trying to figure out at 50 what my talents are and what I would really like to do with my life. I know if money wasn't an issue, exactly what it would be, but it is an issue so I am stuck. Thanks for your words today. I know God still has a plan for me. Nanci D

  39. i am a 55 year old widow. i just lost my dear husband 6 months ago by a work related accident. i fee i still am in shock.,but i know i want to be the woman GOD wants me to be. i am so glad i found this in my email this morning. i am that person who always compares myself to others. i will read your books and i know that i will become what GOD created me for. thank you so much. you r such a blessing. ,jackie

  40. This devotional really hit home! Thank you I truly want to be all God wants me to be. And to ive the life God created me to be. Thanks so much for your insight and looking forward to the book. Tina

  41. As a mom of 5 in my mid 40's I've been dealing with the issue as well. Your article just confirms for me that I'm on the right track. I've been trying to be everything for everyone for too long. I want to know who God made me to be.

  42. This is a topic that really resonates with me. I'd love to read more about it. Thanks for having a draw.

  43. Thank you so much for opening a new door for me today. I never really thought about who the REAL me is…

  44. This devotional was right on time! Not only is it something I've been thinking about for myself, but we're in the process of developing a small group for young adult ladies and I've been praying recently about how to "encourage the strengths and overlook the weaknesses" of one another. Thanks for the insights – can't wait for the book! May God continue to bless you, your family and your ministry. Praise Him for revealing to you who He created you to be 🙂

  48. I also shared your devotion on facebook, and tagged your book. Thanks for this opportunity!

  49. As I read your devotion today, it made me think about knowing the REAL me, and I have never gone down that road. Thank you for opening a door for me today.

  50. It's really hard NOT to compare your self with others – especially when most people in your life let you know they are comparing who you are with other people. At times I just reach a point where I give up.