Do you remember being in middle school? Those were the awkward years. I remember not really liking who I was or how I looked. I have a feeling a lot of us didn’t like ourselves at that age, but we all desperately wanted others to like us, right?
At that point, I think a lot of us secretly compared ourselves to those around us, observed who was liked most, and tried to be like the popular people.
In my Proverbs 31 devotion, “Becoming the Real Me,” I talk about having that same unhealthy habit in my adult life, too. And I know I’m not alone. For many women, it wasn’t just a phase when we were teenagers; it’s still a struggle now. Sometimes it’s because we don’t have the confidence to find out who we really are. Many of us are just more comfortable buried in busyness and hiding behind our self-doubts.
Lots of times it’s because we’re believe we don’t have anything special to offer anyway, so we just keep being who others want, need or expect us to be.
Well my friend, it’s time to do something about it. How? First we have to stop comparing ourselves to other women. Why would we compare how we feel inadequate on the inside with how someone else looks like they had it all together on the outside? We’ll always end up feeling less than.
Not only is comparison toxic for us personally, it’s also destructive relationally. Comparison makes us measure our worth against other women, and we end up competing with each other.
But God created us to complete one another, not compete with each other.
In my book, A Confident Heart, I share how we can do that by encouraging each others’ strengths, overlooking each others’ weaknesses and celebrating each other’ uniqueness.
The truth is, life is hard and we need each other! “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.” 1 Corinthians 12:18-20
God gives all of us unique personalities, abilities, passions and experiences because we each play a leading role in the story He’s writing with our lives.
So, today when you are tempted to compare yourself to another woman and doubt starts whispering that you’re not as smart as she is, or gifted or pretty or godly…remember you are “God’s masterpiece…created anew in Christ so that [you] can do the good things He planned for [you] long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, (NLT)
In my upcoming book, A Confident Heart: How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Live in the Security of God’s Promises, I have a whole chapter on this topic and other self-doubts that keep us from becoming the women God created us to be!
I’m giving away three copies today, but first I’d love for you to watch this 2-minute introduction video.
I’m praying for each of you today as you begin to discover and embrace the woman God created you to be! Remember, there is no one like you…and the world is missing someone special until you become her!
If you’d like to read A Confident Heart when it releases, and share it with friends, enter to win 3 copies (1 for yourself and 2 for friends) below:
- To enter one time, click on the word “comments” below to share thoughts about today’s topic. (If you don’t have a blog it’s okay, click anonymous and type in the white box. But be sure to leave your first name to be part of a drawing).
- To enter two times, leave a comment with your thoughts and leave another letting me know you’re sharing this post via Facebook and/or twitter with a link back to my twitter page @reneeswope or back to my Facebook page @A Confident Heart by Renee Swope FB page.(https://www.facebook.com/renee.swope?ref=name#!/pages/A-Confident-Heart-by-Renee-Swope/160376334023273)
A Confident Heart releases August 1st, but you can pre-order yours at P31 today and be the first to receive a signed copy in early August! (P31 is getting early copies in mid July.)
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Hi Renee,
During my shower last night I was so burdened down. I see all of my inadequacy and failures constantly. We Homeschool and I really acted ugly yesterday to
my children. so this has just overwhelmed my heart to a point of feeling like all is lost! I fell to my knees and wept it all out to my Lord. Confessing and pleading for strength to overcome and our family to be healed from all of the heart breaking words that end up spoken. I see the Pattern of pleasing others and never feeling good enough just continuing to be handed down to my precious children. Your devotion blessed my heart, I am praying that If it is Gods will, I will win your give away. I would enjoy your book. Have a blessed day and thank you for the encouragement. Audrey
Between your blog and the video, it made me realize that I have yet to find whatever it is God wants me to be doing. Self-sacrifice has always been something that I was silently proud of. After all, being a Mom and wife is about making sacrifices, right? Not if it means losing yourself, which I have…and didn't even know it. In this moment, I'm terrified and excited to discover the person God intended for me to be. Thank you.
PS: I barely had the confidence to write my comment. Yikes! I have some work to do. 🙂
Your message definitely hits home. At 37, I have no idea who I am or what God's purpose is for me. I will definitely read the book, whether I win it or not. Thank you for such an honest message.
I am posting this blog on my facebook page..others need to read it.
jody
I needed this today because I do find myself feeling inadequate…especially as a parent. Thank you!!
jody
I was so blessed with this devotional. I have been using every tool God has placed in my path to healing and restoring what the locust have eaten. Sometimes defeated, I say Lord when will this end, I just want to go be with you. But God it not finished with me yet, and the consolation of yourdevotional was ever so comforting to realize that I just need to ask Him what His dreams for my life are. going on 39…and I still don't know what I wanna be,but HE does!
Blessings MASI
I was so blessed with this devotional. I have been using every tool God has placed in my path to healing and restoring what the locust have eaten. Sometimes defeated, I say Lord when will this end, I just want to go be with you. But God it not finished with me yet, and the consolation of yourdevotional was ever so comforting to realize that I just need to ask Him what His dreams for my life are. going on 39…and I still don't know what I wanna be,but HE does!
Blessings MASI
Hi Rene, Wow! That devotional came at the right time. I had just been sitting at my dinning room table, asking God "when will this all end, I am so tired. Lord what do you want for me?" and literally thinking, what's the point in living right. I know terrible to think that, but I know I am not alone, we all come to a breaking point, it is then that God has our attention. Reading your devo yesterday blew me away, and everything you said in your video was so righ on for me. I would love to win those three copies of your new upcoming book. Thank you, your ministry is helping thousands of women like myself to see life and ourselves through the eyes of a MERCIFUL SAVIOR and CREATOR.
Blessings MASI
Rene, your devotional came at such an opportune time. God's timing could not have been any better. Him timing sees to always be good, or just better. Thank you for the wake up call that I can be confident and for posing that question about our dreams. I realize I do need to take time and ask God, what are His dreams for my life. God is using you in such a powerful way, If it's God will for me to win these 3 copies of the book awesome, I already know who to give them to. If not I will get one for me and pass it along after. THX
MASI
Sounds excellent Renee! [email protected]
I was still trying to find my identity which now I can only in Christ. Thank you for the encouragement I am God's desire and unique.
Rebecca
Wow, this is me all over. Something I've been trying to overcome my whole life. Thanks, Renee for the reminder of God's truth.
Wow, this really hit home with me today. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Thank you for the post today.
This ties in with a bible study that I am doing, Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge. Love it and perfect timing!
I am a grandmother of 2 and 65 years old. I would love to share the books with my 2 daughters, so they don't end up like me, wondering what God wants me to do with the rest of my life, when I retire. I have always put myself last, I am a nurse so I even do that at work. Carolann Luersen (Nanacarol to my family)
Hello! The video spoke of such hope. So encouraging. Very much needed in these times. It is so hard to trust and surrender our hearts to God. I hope to be able to do this. I know of two others who also are in need of help. God bless you and continue to guide you in your ministry!
Josie
Excellent article. I’m dealing with a few of these issues
as well..
This book sounds like a really great book and is one i really would like to own. So many of us need to have that confidence within ourselves and in God which is the only way will make it through life. Your awesome Renee!I shared your post by the way on facebook with my friends.
God bless you,
Gloria Castillo
i copied the prayer onto my dektop to pray daily!
This already sounds like a book that will be on my summer reading list! You included my favorite verse – Ephesians 2:10! Can't wait to get the book and get started. Thanks, Renee!
If is very encouraging to be reminded of our own worth when we start to feel worthless. I need to remember that God made me who I am and how I am for a purpose.
Thank you
Amazing things here. I am very satisfied to look your post.
Thanks so much and I’m looking ahead to contact you.
Will you please drop me a mail?