Do you remember being in middle school? Those were the awkward years. I remember not really liking who I was or how I looked. I have a feeling a lot of us didn’t like ourselves at that age, but we all desperately wanted others to like us, right?
At that point, I think a lot of us secretly compared ourselves to those around us, observed who was liked most, and tried to be like the popular people.
In my Proverbs 31 devotion, “Becoming the Real Me,” I talk about having that same unhealthy habit in my adult life, too. And I know I’m not alone. For many women, it wasn’t just a phase when we were teenagers; it’s still a struggle now. Sometimes it’s because we don’t have the confidence to find out who we really are. Many of us are just more comfortable buried in busyness and hiding behind our self-doubts.
Lots of times it’s because we’re believe we don’t have anything special to offer anyway, so we just keep being who others want, need or expect us to be.
Well my friend, it’s time to do something about it. How? First we have to stop comparing ourselves to other women. Why would we compare how we feel inadequate on the inside with how someone else looks like they had it all together on the outside? We’ll always end up feeling less than.
Not only is comparison toxic for us personally, it’s also destructive relationally. Comparison makes us measure our worth against other women, and we end up competing with each other.
But God created us to complete one another, not compete with each other.
In my book, A Confident Heart, I share how we can do that by encouraging each others’ strengths, overlooking each others’ weaknesses and celebrating each other’ uniqueness.
The truth is, life is hard and we need each other! “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.” 1 Corinthians 12:18-20
God gives all of us unique personalities, abilities, passions and experiences because we each play a leading role in the story He’s writing with our lives.
So, today when you are tempted to compare yourself to another woman and doubt starts whispering that you’re not as smart as she is, or gifted or pretty or godly…remember you are “God’s masterpiece…created anew in Christ so that [you] can do the good things He planned for [you] long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, (NLT)
In my upcoming book, A Confident Heart: How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Live in the Security of God’s Promises, I have a whole chapter on this topic and other self-doubts that keep us from becoming the women God created us to be!
I’m giving away three copies today, but first I’d love for you to watch this 2-minute introduction video.
I’m praying for each of you today as you begin to discover and embrace the woman God created you to be! Remember, there is no one like you…and the world is missing someone special until you become her!
If you’d like to read A Confident Heart when it releases, and share it with friends, enter to win 3 copies (1 for yourself and 2 for friends) below:
- To enter one time, click on the word “comments” below to share thoughts about today’s topic. (If you don’t have a blog it’s okay, click anonymous and type in the white box. But be sure to leave your first name to be part of a drawing).
- To enter two times, leave a comment with your thoughts and leave another letting me know you’re sharing this post via Facebook and/or twitter with a link back to my twitter page @reneeswope or back to my Facebook page @A Confident Heart by Renee Swope FB page.(https://www.facebook.com/renee.swope?ref=name#!/pages/A-Confident-Heart-by-Renee-Swope/160376334023273)
A Confident Heart releases August 1st, but you can pre-order yours at P31 today and be the first to receive a signed copy in early August! (P31 is getting early copies in mid July.)
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I think this is one of the biggest struggles women have and truth be told alot of us have never even been asked what do you love to do, we just sift thru all the hats we to wear as a woman. So excited about this book.
I have lived with self-doubt all my life. I know in my head that God made me his masterpiece, but my heart can't accept my imperfections.
Thank you for your words today. I have been been stuggling with self doubt for so long. I too have wondered what my passions and dreams should be.
I have come to realize that my true passion is for the Lord himself. I feel that I am a lump of clay longing for the Potter's creative hands, yet day after I am left on the shelf not knowing what I am to become.
How very amazing to have more than halfway to one hundred comments on your blog post within six hours of posting!
What a blessing you are to so many people, Renee!
Thank you!
I'm sharing your blog post on my FB account! 🙂
and here I am 65 yrs old and wondering if I am all God wants me to be! I think not! You are never too old to open your heart to the Lord's revealings.
This really rings true for me.. I let self-doubt rule way to often and end up missing many opportunities.
Thank you for sharing your story. I feel lost right now myself. Not liking who I've become and not knowing who I am supposed to be. Wanting to be liked and being a pleaser has just made me angry, bitter and unable to trust anyone.Reading your story showed me I am not alone. I can still find out who God made me to be. I don't have to give up on myself. even though sometimes I thought God had.
Oh My!!! I need to read this book, hoping I win if not I will have to check to see if our local library can get a copy.
Thank you for remindning me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made! HAVE A BLESSED DAY!
Charlotte
I would love to read your book and try to connect myself to true interests and talents that I KNOW are hidden.
I'm sure I'm too late to get in on the give-away, but I wanted you to know that I'm going to share this on my fb & twitter pages anyway. Simply because it is something that is VERY near and dear to my heart! TOO many of us women struggle with this and it's time we realize where that struggle is coming from – THE ENEMY! It's just another way he keeps us down and keeps us from doing what God has called us to do!
I DEFINITELY want to read this book when it comes out 🙂
I am 30 going on 31…with 3 kids. It is so interesting that I am pushing my older kids to pray and ask God to guide them with the decisions they make and to realize their full potential. Yet I have neglected to do so in my life. Perhaps it is most evident as I have complete 6 years of graduate school for my doctorate and I cannot as yet say what I would like to be…shameful…and what is worse is that I have had a difficult time with 2 professors (another long story) and I will be switching degree concentrations. I believe God opened up the way for me..now I am wondering what he would have me do on this new path…it is scary as it is more time, more money and my family have been through so much, so patient…
I am so thankful for this reading this morning. I have been wondering what my purpose in life is for a long time and recently been focusing on that even more. I am a 64 yr. old woman and not sure what I'm supposed to do with the rest of my life (however long that may be.) But, I want to do whatever God's purpose is for me!
I need answers…….Anonymous
I have always felt over shadowed by "godly" women and always being someone's mom has left me in limbo. This book sounds like just what I need! Candice
Thanks Renee, your blog today touched on what I have been working on and praying to God for months now! It really spoke to me!
So true, when I focus on God and less of self and reach out to those around me (women and men) it is almost sad to see their reaction. To hear an encouraging word, a compliment from a stranger, or just shown genuine kindness and care touches a heart that lacks confidence. We are all created as God's masterpiece through Him we get a confident heart to reach others, thank you for writing a book to encourage and show us how. Yanna from Bryan
I am an American expat living in Taiwan now for over 4 years. I have just recently started receiving devotionals from P31 and feel like each day something is being said that affects where I am at in my daily life. We live in a very different society here and sometimes feels like it is make believe. I have found a new side of myself but feel like I have lost something as well, my identity. I am not the same person as when I left the US. I know that in the next few years I will be going back there and have no idea how and where I will fit in. I have 3 small children that will all be in school by that time and feel like my life is just getting through our time over here and can't even imagine what my future will be. I look forward to reading your book in hopes it will help me start to figure out and feel more secure as to where my place in the world really is. Thank you for all your wonderful devotions. They are keeping me going.
I don't think I've ever been that young girl that stopped comparing herself to others. I STILL, at 45 continually wonder what He made me to be and only pray I figure it out before my time is over…
Renee~ thank you so much for your encouragement today. I am going through a time right now where this message truly spoke to me. I am finding myself doubting that where I am serving God is where He wants me. I am so involved in work @ the church but I really do not know who I am to be or what I am to be doing in Gods family. I desire so much to serve him but yet I don't really know who I am or who God has made me to be. I am desiring to read your book for I feel God's drawing me there to help find answers. I know I am His child but I need to know who He has made me to be. Thks for your encouragement & please keep allowing God to work through you for us, His daughters! Bless you! Debbie
I compare myself with other women constantly. I need help to quit doing that!