Do you remember being in middle school? Those were the awkward years. I remember not really liking who I was or how I looked. I have a feeling a lot of us didn’t like ourselves at that age, but we all desperately wanted others to like us, right?
At that point, I think a lot of us secretly compared ourselves to those around us, observed who was liked most, and tried to be like the popular people.
In my Proverbs 31 devotion, “Becoming the Real Me,” I talk about having that same unhealthy habit in my adult life, too. And I know I’m not alone. For many women, it wasn’t just a phase when we were teenagers; it’s still a struggle now. Sometimes it’s because we don’t have the confidence to find out who we really are. Many of us are just more comfortable buried in busyness and hiding behind our self-doubts.
Lots of times it’s because we’re believe we don’t have anything special to offer anyway, so we just keep being who others want, need or expect us to be.
Well my friend, it’s time to do something about it. How? First we have to stop comparing ourselves to other women. Why would we compare how we feel inadequate on the inside with how someone else looks like they had it all together on the outside? We’ll always end up feeling less than.
Not only is comparison toxic for us personally, it’s also destructive relationally. Comparison makes us measure our worth against other women, and we end up competing with each other.
But God created us to complete one another, not compete with each other.
In my book, A Confident Heart, I share how we can do that by encouraging each others’ strengths, overlooking each others’ weaknesses and celebrating each other’ uniqueness.
The truth is, life is hard and we need each other! “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.” 1 Corinthians 12:18-20
God gives all of us unique personalities, abilities, passions and experiences because we each play a leading role in the story He’s writing with our lives.
So, today when you are tempted to compare yourself to another woman and doubt starts whispering that you’re not as smart as she is, or gifted or pretty or godly…remember you are “God’s masterpiece…created anew in Christ so that [you] can do the good things He planned for [you] long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, (NLT)
In my upcoming book, A Confident Heart: How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Live in the Security of God’s Promises, I have a whole chapter on this topic and other self-doubts that keep us from becoming the women God created us to be!
I’m giving away three copies today, but first I’d love for you to watch this 2-minute introduction video.
I’m praying for each of you today as you begin to discover and embrace the woman God created you to be! Remember, there is no one like you…and the world is missing someone special until you become her!
If you’d like to read A Confident Heart when it releases, and share it with friends, enter to win 3 copies (1 for yourself and 2 for friends) below:
- To enter one time, click on the word “comments” below to share thoughts about today’s topic. (If you don’t have a blog it’s okay, click anonymous and type in the white box. But be sure to leave your first name to be part of a drawing).
- To enter two times, leave a comment with your thoughts and leave another letting me know you’re sharing this post via Facebook and/or twitter with a link back to my twitter page @reneeswope or back to my Facebook page @A Confident Heart by Renee Swope FB page.(https://www.facebook.com/renee.swope?ref=name#!/pages/A-Confident-Heart-by-Renee-Swope/160376334023273)
A Confident Heart releases August 1st, but you can pre-order yours at P31 today and be the first to receive a signed copy in early August! (P31 is getting early copies in mid July.)
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Oh Renee, I keep trying just as you said to move forward and ignore the voices that tell me I:m not capable. I am finally learning to see God in the things around me that point out the lessons I need to learn…but I still lack the confidence to believe I can make it…I too often hear myself cry out that I just can't do it…I'm tired at 52 and beaten down…and I look forward to reading your book & your visit to our conference next month!! Linda Evans @KBC
Your thoughts that said "comfortable buried in busyness and hiding behind our self-doubts."… totally describes me. I spent a lot of time trying to be SuperWoman and thought this was accomplished by running myself ragged (if we are never lazy we must have self worth and be important right?), always volunteering and organizing things for my kids and their friends etc. Crazy busy to the point that I thought I could become someone in everyone's eyes by all that I did being a SuperWoman. But one day I finally realized it didn't want to be SuperWoman… I wanted to be a Super Woman. That entails me being me. Me doing things for the right reasons. Me feeling comfortable in my own skin. and me doing things because I want to, not just to get another notch on my SuperWoman belt of badges.
Thanks so much for your writings. I can't wait to read your book! I can already tell that I will be very easily able to relate.
Blessings,
Heather Eads
I identify completely with your words today as I have lived in that place for the majority of my life. Attempting to please people, who by the way, were never happy with my attempts and along the way I either lost the person I was or never really knew who that should or could be. I would love to read your book and be a part of your 7 Day Doubt Diet. With God's help I am trying to be more optimistic and open to all the possibilities God has planned for me. I am so very tired of always feeling worthless instead of feeling that I have self worth.Thanks for allowing me to share this. Knowing that I am not alone helps me to have hope and to feel better.
I was shocked today to discover that my dreams have gotten buried by life. When I was younger, I loudly proclaimed that God is the giver of dreams, and have actively and passionately pursued dream after dream. God has been faithful and has always brought me new dreams to replace those that He accomplishes. But now I find myself living in my sister's basement, geographically separated from my husband while he goes to school, unemployed, raising two little ladies solo. I still have so many dreams, but they have been put on hold, and I often wonder, are these Your dreams for my life, God, or are these dreams that will never be fulfilled by me? How does my family fit? Where has the confidence gone that I once had? And so, my dreams are somewhere under the pile of dirty diapers, rejection letters, bills, and endless laundry. I need a new reminder that God still is the giver of dreams and that He is big enough to bring my family together and to orchestrate our dreams into His own tapestry. Thank you for the reminder.
What an amazing book this sounds like! My oldest will be starting middle school in the Fall and I so remember those times of always comparing myself to others. Your post made me realize I am still doing that! I will be reading this book asap to help us both!! Thank you!!!!!!!!
You are sure helping me open my eyes. Would sure like to win copies of your book. Keep up your work for the Lord
This devotion was perfect! God has been working on me for the past two years… In the past few months, I am sure God is trying to lead me in a direction and preparing me for His purpose. I remain faithful and patient… It's hard but I know God will reveal in His time. The one thing I do know about my passion and dreams… I miss dancing and working with children. What that means in God's plans, I don't know… I keep praying and journaling. Thank you for this devotion today! Farrah Benson
Awesome message that you shared in your introduction of this book. More times than not I am my own worst enemy with my feelings of inadequacy. I am sure that I truely need to read your book to help me through. Can't wait until August!
I love how the Lord leads… "beside still waters and refreshes our soul". He led me to your blog today I believe because I need to get this book. He's been speaking to me about this very topic and I believe your book will be helpful in the journey He is taking me on. I can't wait for it to come out… but I trust in God's timing too. God bless you, Karen
When I read your prayer, I shouted. I want to say where were these words when I was young, raising children, feeling defeated, inadequate, wanting to feel loved. Well, I know today that I know the God that created me and he helped me up the stairs to where I could hear these words. God bless you and thanks for being in my life. I am going to be attached to your hip until I have learned whatever you are going to teach me.
I needed to be reminded that I am created for a unique purpose. Pleasing everybody around me is difficult to do day after day. I thought it was hard in high school, but I learned as soon as I became a mother that peer pressure and expectations are even worse now.
This really struck me, Renee! Thank you for your insights. I recently took on a new position and I have been filled with self-doubt. It is so debilitating the comments that keep replaying in my mind. This book seems like it would be the best thing for me since I have always struggled with self-worth issues.
I feel like today's devotion and comments were written for me…oh, how I need to be reminded that I was created for a purpose…a unique one at that. I am constantly trying to live up to what others want me to be, and it's a daily battle that I truly desire to be set free from.
I love today's post. I believe God had me in mind when He inspired you to write this book. I am a grown woman with 6 grandchildren and all my life I have disliked who I am. I've always wanted to be like others and often wonder what is my problem. I don't have any talents to offer and often feel as if I'm a failure to every one-even God. I definitely want to read this book and I will share with everyone I know. Thanks so much and God bless you. 🙂
The Lord gave you words for me today. Thank you for listening and sharing! I look forward to reading your book and hopefully sharing it with some friends.
Beth Voorhees
When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get three e-mails with the same comment.
Is there any way you can remove people from that service?
Many thanks!
I received your devotional through KKLA. I read it then linked to your page. Amazing how God gives us just what we need to get by. His Mercies are new every morning, and I need to stop feeding my doubt. I have gone through so much and sometimes question God as to when I will I see the end and when will HE ultimatley be Glorified in all this. I pray that your ministry continue to reach women all across the nation, because there are so many hurting out there…christian and non christian alike. Thank you for your obedience to God in sharing His promises in this very specific way!
Thank you for sharing this is such good information!!
Thank you for sharing this..such wonderful information!!
Wow! It is like you read my mind… I have been wondering what I should do and how I can be HAPPY. I can't wait to hear what God wants me to do now. Thank you for your blog and devotional. God Bless.
Brenda
Monday of this week, I had asked myself if God had ever given me a dream for my life and I couldn't think of anything. At 54, it feels like the days are passing much too quickly and I have more of a desire than ever to leave a legacy for my family that will not only give them memories of mother/grandmother who loved God, but of someone who also fulfilled the dream God had placed within her heart. Bless you for your ministry….I ready your blog daily and you bless my heart!