Do you remember being in middle school? Those were the awkward years. I remember not really liking who I was or how I looked. I have a feeling a lot of us didn’t like ourselves at that age, but we all desperately wanted others to like us, right?
At that point, I think a lot of us secretly compared ourselves to those around us, observed who was liked most, and tried to be like the popular people.
In my Proverbs 31 devotion, “Becoming the Real Me,” I talk about having that same unhealthy habit in my adult life, too. And I know I’m not alone. For many women, it wasn’t just a phase when we were teenagers; it’s still a struggle now. Sometimes it’s because we don’t have the confidence to find out who we really are. Many of us are just more comfortable buried in busyness and hiding behind our self-doubts.
Lots of times it’s because we’re believe we don’t have anything special to offer anyway, so we just keep being who others want, need or expect us to be.
Well my friend, it’s time to do something about it. How? First we have to stop comparing ourselves to other women. Why would we compare how we feel inadequate on the inside with how someone else looks like they had it all together on the outside? We’ll always end up feeling less than.
Not only is comparison toxic for us personally, it’s also destructive relationally. Comparison makes us measure our worth against other women, and we end up competing with each other.
But God created us to complete one another, not compete with each other.
In my book, A Confident Heart, I share how we can do that by encouraging each others’ strengths, overlooking each others’ weaknesses and celebrating each other’ uniqueness.
The truth is, life is hard and we need each other! “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.” 1 Corinthians 12:18-20
God gives all of us unique personalities, abilities, passions and experiences because we each play a leading role in the story He’s writing with our lives.
So, today when you are tempted to compare yourself to another woman and doubt starts whispering that you’re not as smart as she is, or gifted or pretty or godly…remember you are “God’s masterpiece…created anew in Christ so that [you] can do the good things He planned for [you] long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, (NLT)
In my upcoming book, A Confident Heart: How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Live in the Security of God’s Promises, I have a whole chapter on this topic and other self-doubts that keep us from becoming the women God created us to be!
I’m giving away three copies today, but first I’d love for you to watch this 2-minute introduction video.
I’m praying for each of you today as you begin to discover and embrace the woman God created you to be! Remember, there is no one like you…and the world is missing someone special until you become her!
If you’d like to read A Confident Heart when it releases, and share it with friends, enter to win 3 copies (1 for yourself and 2 for friends) below:
- To enter one time, click on the word “comments” below to share thoughts about today’s topic. (If you don’t have a blog it’s okay, click anonymous and type in the white box. But be sure to leave your first name to be part of a drawing).
- To enter two times, leave a comment with your thoughts and leave another letting me know you’re sharing this post via Facebook and/or twitter with a link back to my twitter page @reneeswope or back to my Facebook page @A Confident Heart by Renee Swope FB page.(https://www.facebook.com/renee.swope?ref=name#!/pages/A-Confident-Heart-by-Renee-Swope/160376334023273)
A Confident Heart releases August 1st, but you can pre-order yours at P31 today and be the first to receive a signed copy in early August! (P31 is getting early copies in mid July.)
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WOW!!! Lots of people commenting to win the book. Encouraged that I am not alone in feeling self-concuios and inadequate. Loved the wonderful reminders and uplifting words. What a great and gorious Lord we have!! Thanks for the opportunity to win, I know the right person will win! 🙂
I can not wait for this book to come out. I am also looking forward to the online Bible study this fall. Far too many women fall victim to this. We need to encourage one another that our identity lives in Christ and nothing else.
My name is Lynne. I am so looking forward to this study. I would love to win the book for myself and two of my friends. I know exactly who I would share the books with.
thanks!
Can't wait to read this for myself. I know that it is right where I am at this point in life and needing to trust God and what He says about me. Thank you for this opportunity.
AMY
My name is Lynne. I am soo looking forward to this study and would LOVE to have a book for myself and two of my friends. I know exactly who i would share with.Thanks!
I will definitely be sharing your link on Facebook
Thank you so much for todays encouragement!!!!! I am a single mom of 5 boys and I am consumed in busy!!! God has been speaking to me to let him more into my life and giving my self more time for him!!!! Your blog has reached me through him!!! I also have never thought about what it is that I was made for other than just being a mom its what I have done since I was 19!!! Today is a perfect day to start!!!!
Leslie C
What a blessing your blogs have been to me. I can't tell you how timely your past few blogs have been to where I am. Thank you for your encouraging words and for sharing the real things of your heart.
I was captivated by what you said today in the devotional. I never thought about what dreams I had and have always been focused on being who I thought I should be instead of who God made me to be. I would be thrilled and honored to get a copy of your book.
I was encouraged after reading your devotional and blog today! I thought I was the only one who had trouble answering questions about my goals and dreams, and understanding God's plan for my life. As I was reading your words, I realized my thoughts and feelings are very similar, and was encouraged by that also. I have struggled with doubts and feelings of inadequecy since childhood, which has caused me to often feel discouraged…and alone in the battle. Renee, I am truly looking forward to reading your book! Thank you for this opportunity to win free copies. May they be a blessing to the winner and those people they are shared with. Amy W.
God has called me to be a Children's Pastor. I'm trying to overcome many many obsticles such as panick attacks when speaking infront of people. I know He's called me to do this I just need to get comfortable in my own skin and put hte past behind me. Your book sounds awesome and I would love a copy, God willing 🙂
We all need a reminder to keep a dream for ourselves in mind. It is so easy to get caught up in the busyness of the world. Thanks for this devotion. I can't wait to read your book. Even if I don't win it, I will buy it.
I am going to post a link on my facebook page also.
Thanks again
Renee I know this is going to be a book every woman needs to read. I have friends who need to read this bokk including my self. I HAVE A BOOK COMMING FOR MY SELF BUT IF i WIN THESE BOKS WILL BE PASSED OUT TO THOSE FRIENDS. SORRY DID NOT RELIZE i HIt the caps button. Thanks Miranda white
What a great word! It is often so easy to get caught in comparing ourselves to one another. Forgetting that we were divinely created for a unique purpose that only we can fulfill. Thanks again for the reminder.
Dawn Miller
This is me…..looking forward to what God is going to help me realize about myself!
Kari
I have never known who the real me is. I was told by my family from the time I was little that I was a mistake. I was made fun of for being bigger than everyone in my class. I had kids in elementary school jump on my back and yell, "Let's take a ride on the Amazon." I was molested by an uncle when I was 8, then abused continually by various males in my life until I met and married my 1st husband who I thought loved me but only continued with the abuse for 10 yrs til I met him. I have never had a strong lasting friendship with another woman. I met my 2nd husband when I was 27, and I think he is the 1st person (other than my 2 daughters) who has loved me unconditionally. He gets upset because I compare myself to other women or feel I have to "fit myself into a mold that a materialistic society has created" He prays for me to see that God loves me exactly as I am and for me to find what I enjoy in life. For so long I have defined myself by everyone else by being a wife, a mother, a daughter, and everything in between. In the last year I have begun to explore who God made me to be. I am finding that I truly love diving into the Lord's word and prayer, and I am praying for God to lead me on the path He has for me. I am still working on the courage to stand up for myself and not let myself be taken in to situations that I know are unhealthy or wrong. Finding your posting today was an answer to a long time prayer. Thank you and God Bless!!!
Wow! This hit home with me. I have struggled with this for years and just yesterday was ready to give up. Will be getting this book as soon as it comes out and working through it. I no longer want to live in doubt or defeat.
I will definately be sharing this with my Facebook friends. Thank you. Angela G
I am in the beginning stages of feeling that it may be possible that I am lovable. It is very new to me to even say it to myself but I am continuing to make a choice to trust that God really does love me. Warmly, Anna C.
I often struggle like you said with not being confident enough to do what God has asked of me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts today. Angela G.