Do you remember being in middle school? Those were the awkward years. I remember not really liking who I was or how I looked. I have a feeling a lot of us didn’t like ourselves at that age, but we all desperately wanted others to like us, right?
At that point, I think a lot of us secretly compared ourselves to those around us, observed who was liked most, and tried to be like the popular people.
In my Proverbs 31 devotion, “Becoming the Real Me,” I talk about having that same unhealthy habit in my adult life, too. And I know I’m not alone. For many women, it wasn’t just a phase when we were teenagers; it’s still a struggle now. Sometimes it’s because we don’t have the confidence to find out who we really are. Many of us are just more comfortable buried in busyness and hiding behind our self-doubts.
Lots of times it’s because we’re believe we don’t have anything special to offer anyway, so we just keep being who others want, need or expect us to be.
Well my friend, it’s time to do something about it. How? First we have to stop comparing ourselves to other women. Why would we compare how we feel inadequate on the inside with how someone else looks like they had it all together on the outside? We’ll always end up feeling less than.
Not only is comparison toxic for us personally, it’s also destructive relationally. Comparison makes us measure our worth against other women, and we end up competing with each other.
But God created us to complete one another, not compete with each other.
In my book, A Confident Heart, I share how we can do that by encouraging each others’ strengths, overlooking each others’ weaknesses and celebrating each other’ uniqueness.
The truth is, life is hard and we need each other! “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.” 1 Corinthians 12:18-20
God gives all of us unique personalities, abilities, passions and experiences because we each play a leading role in the story He’s writing with our lives.
So, today when you are tempted to compare yourself to another woman and doubt starts whispering that you’re not as smart as she is, or gifted or pretty or godly…remember you are “God’s masterpiece…created anew in Christ so that [you] can do the good things He planned for [you] long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, (NLT)
In my upcoming book, A Confident Heart: How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Live in the Security of God’s Promises, I have a whole chapter on this topic and other self-doubts that keep us from becoming the women God created us to be!
I’m giving away three copies today, but first I’d love for you to watch this 2-minute introduction video.
I’m praying for each of you today as you begin to discover and embrace the woman God created you to be! Remember, there is no one like you…and the world is missing someone special until you become her!
If you’d like to read A Confident Heart when it releases, and share it with friends, enter to win 3 copies (1 for yourself and 2 for friends) below:
- To enter one time, click on the word “comments” below to share thoughts about today’s topic. (If you don’t have a blog it’s okay, click anonymous and type in the white box. But be sure to leave your first name to be part of a drawing).
- To enter two times, leave a comment with your thoughts and leave another letting me know you’re sharing this post via Facebook and/or twitter with a link back to my twitter page @reneeswope or back to my Facebook page @A Confident Heart by Renee Swope FB page.(https://www.facebook.com/renee.swope?ref=name#!/pages/A-Confident-Heart-by-Renee-Swope/160376334023273)
A Confident Heart releases August 1st, but you can pre-order yours at P31 today and be the first to receive a signed copy in early August! (P31 is getting early copies in mid July.)
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Thank you for the encouraging reminder that we are created uniquely for a divine purpose. I hope to win a few copies of your book so I can share this journey of learning with other women. Thank you!
Always comparing. Ugh. Gloria
What an encouraging reminder – God created us uniquely for a purpose! I hope to win a few copies of your book so I can share this journey of learning with other women. Thank you!
We are each unique, praise God for loving us and creating us with such detail. Thank you for the reminder, and I'd really love to win a few copies of your book so I can share this journey of learning with some other women.
Your devotional today really touched me. I really want to become who God wants me to be… and to know who that person is!!
Thank you. Rebecca
I felt like you were speaking to me directly! I am 44 with a PK career in software programming where I made great money and must have found some identity in that. Gave it up to become a Domestic Engineer, even homeschooled my kiddos. Now my kids are in school, and I work part-time at my youngest daughter's elementary school, which is a blessing as I get to see her every day. But, I feel like I am too old to consider going back to school to get further education, not to mention the financial factor. I just feel although I am being the wife & mom God has called me to be, I have lost 'me' along the way and always feel guilty thinking about it! Signed, Can Use All the Help I Can Get! Thanks!
Your devotional today really touched me – and I want to discover who God wants me to be. Thank you! Rebecca
I read your post on P31 and came over for a visit because at 39 I am pondering similar ideas. Please enter me to win. Tina M
[email protected]
Also, sharing this via fb. ~ceci
wow everything you said resonated with me so much. Can't wait to read your book.
Thank you for your words today. This is something I have struggled with my whole life. Now as a 40 year old single mom of two little girls, I find myself struggling still, but wanting so much to get it right so I can teach them well.
~Ceci
wow this resonated so much with me. Can't wait to read your book.
Thank you so much for this post today! As a second time mom in my 40's I have struggled with trying to juggle so many plates over the recent weeks and continuously reminded myself that other moms seem to make it look effortless! I love how you so beautifully captured how you turned from the shadows and back to the light and promise God offers. I can't wait to see how he uses me in this new phase of my life and what his special plans are for me. Thanks to you and Proverbs 31 Ministries for being a blessing (and something of a virtual morning hug) in this stay at home mom's life!
I love how you so beautifully captured turning away from the shadows of darkness and back into the light and promise God provides. As a new (and exhausted) mom of two in my 40's I so needed to hear this message today! I've doubted my abilities as I try to adjust to sleepless nights and trying to keep up with bill paying, house cleaning, bible study and fellowship with friends and more. It just seemed effortless for other moms. I can't wait to see how God uses me in this new phase of my life and what his purpose is for me. Thank you and Proverbs 31 Ministries for continuing to bless my life!
This post really resonated with my spirit. As a 26 year old strong female, I've always struggled with the "me" God created and the "me" the world has tried to create. It was a refreshing reminder to take time with my creator and rid myself of the distorted "me" I've created and let Him guide me to the "me" He originally crafted.
~Virginia
Renee,
You said to write two comments , so here I am!
I am going to share you on facebook, and I am going to hope to read your book soon.
I am asking God to show me HIS dreams for me, being that His are perfect, Jer. 29:11!
Mine have been shattered and maybe that is just what He wanted in order to mold me His way!
Debbie at [email protected]
Hmm it appears like your blog ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so I guess
I’ll just sum it up what I submitted and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog.
I as well am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to the whole thing.
Do you have any recommendations for rookie blog writers? I’d
certainly appreciate it.
Excellent post. I was checking constantly this blog and I am impressed!
Extremely helpful info particularly the last part 🙂 I care for such information much.
I was looking for this particular information for a long
time. Thank you and good luck.
Renee,
I saw you as I read a post by Lysa on Facebook.
I am a mother of a prodigal. I feel so insecure. I wonder now that my son is grown and out of the house, and my young adult daughter has left as a prodigal not speaking to me for over two years, just what am I worth or what does God want me to do now?
I have wanted to serve God in some way for a long time. I love to share the Word of God with others, but I am afraid of blogging ( even though I want to) because I have not English or Writing degree. I have no degree at all. I am a wife and a mother, but now it seems like a mother who is having a security problem because of a feeling I am a failure at mothering.
I hope to read your book and find God speak to me through it.
Thank you for the bried video, for it was encouraging to me.
My Name is Debbie, and email is [email protected]
I have struggled with this my whole life. I don't like to show the real me because I'm afraid of rejection. I always doubt everything I do or say. I doubt if I'm a good mom or wife, I doubt my relationship with Christ. I doubt it all.
The true me is deep down inside and it is only up to me to let her out and with God's help I know I can.
Thank you so much Renee, for all you do for us, you are truly doing God's work. Can't wait to read this book.
this really sounds like the book for me!
Carol in NC
Wow. This sure seems to be a theme that God keeps placing before me! Excited for the things God might be doing / preparing me for through what He is teaching me!