Do you remember being in middle school? Those were the awkward years. I remember not really liking who I was or how I looked. I have a feeling a lot of us didn’t like ourselves at that age, but we all desperately wanted others to like us, right?
At that point, I think a lot of us secretly compared ourselves to those around us, observed who was liked most, and tried to be like the popular people.
In my Proverbs 31 devotion, “Becoming the Real Me,” I talk about having that same unhealthy habit in my adult life, too. And I know I’m not alone. For many women, it wasn’t just a phase when we were teenagers; it’s still a struggle now. Sometimes it’s because we don’t have the confidence to find out who we really are. Many of us are just more comfortable buried in busyness and hiding behind our self-doubts.
Lots of times it’s because we’re believe we don’t have anything special to offer anyway, so we just keep being who others want, need or expect us to be.
Well my friend, it’s time to do something about it. How? First we have to stop comparing ourselves to other women. Why would we compare how we feel inadequate on the inside with how someone else looks like they had it all together on the outside? We’ll always end up feeling less than.
Not only is comparison toxic for us personally, it’s also destructive relationally. Comparison makes us measure our worth against other women, and we end up competing with each other.
But God created us to complete one another, not compete with each other.
In my book, A Confident Heart, I share how we can do that by encouraging each others’ strengths, overlooking each others’ weaknesses and celebrating each other’ uniqueness.
The truth is, life is hard and we need each other! “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.” 1 Corinthians 12:18-20
God gives all of us unique personalities, abilities, passions and experiences because we each play a leading role in the story He’s writing with our lives.
So, today when you are tempted to compare yourself to another woman and doubt starts whispering that you’re not as smart as she is, or gifted or pretty or godly…remember you are “God’s masterpiece…created anew in Christ so that [you] can do the good things He planned for [you] long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, (NLT)
In my upcoming book, A Confident Heart: How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Live in the Security of God’s Promises, I have a whole chapter on this topic and other self-doubts that keep us from becoming the women God created us to be!
I’m giving away three copies today, but first I’d love for you to watch this 2-minute introduction video.
I’m praying for each of you today as you begin to discover and embrace the woman God created you to be! Remember, there is no one like you…and the world is missing someone special until you become her!
If you’d like to read A Confident Heart when it releases, and share it with friends, enter to win 3 copies (1 for yourself and 2 for friends) below:
- To enter one time, click on the word “comments” below to share thoughts about today’s topic. (If you don’t have a blog it’s okay, click anonymous and type in the white box. But be sure to leave your first name to be part of a drawing).
- To enter two times, leave a comment with your thoughts and leave another letting me know you’re sharing this post via Facebook and/or twitter with a link back to my twitter page @reneeswope or back to my Facebook page @A Confident Heart by Renee Swope FB page.(https://www.facebook.com/renee.swope?ref=name#!/pages/A-Confident-Heart-by-Renee-Swope/160376334023273)
A Confident Heart releases August 1st, but you can pre-order yours at P31 today and be the first to receive a signed copy in early August! (P31 is getting early copies in mid July.)
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Wow; I have always wanted to know what God wanted me to be im life besides a people pleaser I would like to read your book. I know it would be a blessing to me..Good job
I am 50 years old and dieing each day because I do not who, what or were I belong in this life. I love the FATHER with all my heart and soul. I have committed to reading the Bible everyday and have developed a personal/intimate relationship with HIM. I have been unemployed for the past year, divorced and betrayed by my husband. I sit still trying have yet to find a passion for life. I sit home looking for a job because I need health benefits. I sit at home trusting in the FATHER to continue to supply my needs as HE has been for the past year. HE has kept me from loosing my mind and keeping my heart in tact. The quesiton often asked by me is " what will become of me?"
I visited your blog for the first time today after reading a devotional by you sent out by Bible Gateway. I instantly knew I should read your book! I married young and had six kids in 10 years – now as a homeschooling mom, working part time, and involved in church ministries, I often feel like I'm just reacting to my life, not really living it. Sounds like you might have some answers for me! 🙂 I'd be happy to share this on FB too – sounds like something my "gang" could use to hear too! 🙂 Blessings ~Kerrie
BTW – I shared the link to your FB page on my FB page. I know I'm not the only one of my friends that feels the way I do. God bless you Renee! Anastasia (Stacy)
I visited your blog for the first time today after reading a devotional by you sent out by Bible Gateway. I instantly knew I should read your book! I married young and had six kids in 10 years – now as a homeschooling mom, working part time, and involved in church ministries, I often feel like I'm just reacting to my life, not really living it. Sounds like you might have some answers for me! 🙂 I'd be happy to share this on FB too – sounds like something my "gang" could use to hear too! 🙂 Blessings ~Kerrie
Dear Renee,
Thank you for today's devotional and your blog. God has been speaking to me for some time about connecting with His dream and vision for my life. I am afraid I lost this after my husband passed away, and had been afraid to even think or pray about it. I plan on sharing your thoughts and ideas tonight at my woman's bible study and trust that we will agree to use your new book for our next study guide to encourage ourselves to "step out of the shadow and into His light" for our lives.
Aloha,
Sue
I just shared your Facebook link.
I struggle with this daily and lately I have really been feeling like I need to figure out my purpose in life. I'm tired of being stuck in a rut just because it's comfortable. It may be comfortable but it's defintely not fulfilling!
Wow. This really hit the hot button today. I'm still crying as I type this. There was a brief time in my life when I truly felt I knew who I was and why the Lord made me 'so weird' in so many ways (by the world's standards, not His of course)…but somewhere I got lost in circumstances and just trying to get through each day. I really needed to read this. Thank you.
Two weeks ago, I picked my 17 y/o daughter up from a weekend basketball trip. As soon as she got into the car, I asked question after question. At first, she answered my questions and later became reluctant in her responses. She then told me I asked too many questions. Initially, I became offended. After all, we fund this, we take you to practice, etc… but later the Holy Spirit revealed that she was right. I did ask too many questions and that I was overly involved. The Holy Spirit also revealed that the reason I was so obsessed with her dreams was because I had lost my own.
I don't know if I ever dreamed things for myself. Life and circumstances have a way of claiming things that we fail to diligently protect. Sometimes we hold others in much higher regard than we hold ourselves and believe that they are more worthy of the more precious things in life.
The next day I saw the same senerio repeat itself except it was with my daughter and my husband. He was asking question after question and she responded in the same manner.
I later told him what the Holy Spirit revealed to me. I told him that I would support my children in their dreams. I would encourage their dreams and I would do all that I could to equip them to pursue their dreams. But, I could no longer obsess about their dreams and that I had to find my own. I also encouraged him to find his dreams. I also suggested that once we find our individual dreams that we dream as a couple.
I truly believe that Becoming the Real Me was God sent to remind me, the challange me, to push me and to confirm that what I am pursuing is from God and not self.
Kim
These words are so true and really spoke to my heart. I started the day a little rough and reading this just reminds me not to over analyze myself. I attended your conference at Rock Gap Maryland earlier this year and I learned so much in that weekend about myself. I know I have a long way to go but it is amazing what God puts in our path to put things into perspective. Can't wait to read your book! Dana V.
Sounds like a great book! Can't wait to read it.:)
Sounds like a great book! Can't wait to read it.:)
When I began reading your blog today, it sounded like you were talking about me. I look forward to reading your book to find out what my dreams are.
Jackie
It is very true that when we turn away from our shadow and walk in the light and have a confident heart in God's word, but how do you do that alone God has to make that happen?
M.O.
Hi Renee,
I appreciate your devotion and blog today. I also lost God's dream and vision for my life after my husband died 8 years ago. I have been afraid to search these things. Now, He is healing my heart and I am encouraged to seek His vision and dream for me. I am going to share your ideas with my womens bible study tonight and encourage us to all examine seeing ouselves through God's eyes. I am trusting we will all agree to use your new book to "step out of the dark shadow and into His light" for our next study. I am truly grateful.
Aloha,
Sue
Thank you, I will be looking forward to reading your book.
Janet
Renee, again I am amazed at how close your devotion today hit home. I am 33 yrs old, a stay at home mother of two beautiful daughters, and I have absolutely no idea who I am or what God's plans are for me. It seems like every time I feel I may be on the right path, Satan steps in and brings doubt and fear. I am excited for your book to gain some insight as well as the thought that others feel or have felt the same way
Thank you for blessing so many with your ministry!
I also shared your facebook link on my page, in the hopes that other women would be blessed by the message God wants to get out through you!
I loved your comment "Sometimes it's because we don't have the confidence to find out who we really are. Many of us are just more more comfortable buried in busyness and hiding behind our self-doubts. " That totally has described me and how I grew up! Thank God that he has shed light onto who I am suppose to be in His image, and am constantly working towards becoming a woman in HIS image! Thank you for your post today!