Do you remember being in middle school? Those were the awkward years. I remember not really liking who I was or how I looked. I have a feeling a lot of us didn’t like ourselves at that age, but we all desperately wanted others to like us, right?
At that point, I think a lot of us secretly compared ourselves to those around us, observed who was liked most, and tried to be like the popular people.
In my Proverbs 31 devotion, “Becoming the Real Me,” I talk about having that same unhealthy habit in my adult life, too. And I know I’m not alone. For many women, it wasn’t just a phase when we were teenagers; it’s still a struggle now. Sometimes it’s because we don’t have the confidence to find out who we really are. Many of us are just more comfortable buried in busyness and hiding behind our self-doubts.
Lots of times it’s because we’re believe we don’t have anything special to offer anyway, so we just keep being who others want, need or expect us to be.
Well my friend, it’s time to do something about it. How? First we have to stop comparing ourselves to other women. Why would we compare how we feel inadequate on the inside with how someone else looks like they had it all together on the outside? We’ll always end up feeling less than.
Not only is comparison toxic for us personally, it’s also destructive relationally. Comparison makes us measure our worth against other women, and we end up competing with each other.
But God created us to complete one another, not compete with each other.
In my book, A Confident Heart, I share how we can do that by encouraging each others’ strengths, overlooking each others’ weaknesses and celebrating each other’ uniqueness.
The truth is, life is hard and we need each other! “But now God has placed the parts, each one of them in the body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.” 1 Corinthians 12:18-20
God gives all of us unique personalities, abilities, passions and experiences because we each play a leading role in the story He’s writing with our lives.
So, today when you are tempted to compare yourself to another woman and doubt starts whispering that you’re not as smart as she is, or gifted or pretty or godly…remember you are “God’s masterpiece…created anew in Christ so that [you] can do the good things He planned for [you] long ago.” Ephesians 2:10, (NLT)
In my upcoming book, A Confident Heart: How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Live in the Security of God’s Promises, I have a whole chapter on this topic and other self-doubts that keep us from becoming the women God created us to be!
I’m giving away three copies today, but first I’d love for you to watch this 2-minute introduction video.
I’m praying for each of you today as you begin to discover and embrace the woman God created you to be! Remember, there is no one like you…and the world is missing someone special until you become her!
If you’d like to read A Confident Heart when it releases, and share it with friends, enter to win 3 copies (1 for yourself and 2 for friends) below:
- To enter one time, click on the word “comments” below to share thoughts about today’s topic. (If you don’t have a blog it’s okay, click anonymous and type in the white box. But be sure to leave your first name to be part of a drawing).
- To enter two times, leave a comment with your thoughts and leave another letting me know you’re sharing this post via Facebook and/or twitter with a link back to my twitter page @reneeswope or back to my Facebook page @A Confident Heart by Renee Swope FB page.(https://www.facebook.com/renee.swope?ref=name#!/pages/A-Confident-Heart-by-Renee-Swope/160376334023273)
A Confident Heart releases August 1st, but you can pre-order yours at P31 today and be the first to receive a signed copy in early August! (P31 is getting early copies in mid July.)
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Renee,
Thank you so much for your devotion today. I have been struggling daily with who I am meant to be. I am sure that it has something to do with my oldest child going off to college and the youngest not far behind her. I am a single mom and have been since they were babies. My world has revolved around them and their activities for so many years and I haven't taken the time to found out who I am meant to be in Christ. It is a little exciting to begin the process and a lot scary but I am going to go forward in the process. I would love to be entered for a chance to win your giveway. Again thank you for the encouragement.
In Christ,
Trudy
I was introduced to your program by a girlfriend/prayer partner. Your devotion for today reminded me that I need to continue to forge ahead in my calling. I have a passion for praying with and speaking life into people's life.
I am currently involved in a prayer meeting group. I also minister one and one with co-workers and neighbours. My next step is to complete a degree in counselling. To enhance my knowledge in this area.
Thanks so much for your words of encouragement, which reminded me that we are a body and we should not compare ourselves with each other, rather use our gifts and talents to compliment each other.
Jaccy Calgary, Alberta
I almost didn't read today's devotion and I am glad I did. Because I know I am just going through the motions and am afraid to ask God what his Purpose is for me. What if I can't handle the answer? Thanks for the words of encouragement – can't wait to get the book 🙂
I agree with so many of the comments that others have left and can identify with your devotion today. I often say I wish I knew what I would be when I grow up. Now that I've hit 40, I feel like I'm running out of time and may never know. Thank you for sharing this and for the reminder to take it to God, the One who created me and loves me like no other.
Tweeted this encouraging post as well.
http://twitter.com/#!/kellyblackwell/status/70894352481796096
PS To give myself a head start, I popped over to P31 and ordered your CD & Workbook. I am soooo excited!
Your words spoke straight to my heart! I could not agree more with Ms.AMK. I hate those kinds of questions as well, for I never have an answer.
After walking and serving the Lord for 31 years. In all of His callings,in serving Him. First,in being a daughter of the King,then a wife, mom, friend, and sister in Christ, and also the honor of serving as a pastor's wife. None of which I would ever change! Indeed I have been a very blessed woman!
But, honestly as a woman, those callings have have caused me to struggle with being a people pleaser as I have been about meeting the needs of others. Not in bad ways, mind you. It is just in those callings,I have been serving Him,in my serving others.
Don't get me wrong,that is not a bad thing at all. He himself came to serve, not be served. But,now at this stage in my life, with all of those callings being so very different ~ I definantly have found ~ I have lost my knowing who I,am in Him. Not based upon those callings.
At this stage in my journey,my life has changed so many ways ~ I am now a widow, with grown children, and things in my life are completely different And this has brought me to a place of feeling a bit lost at times. He now seems to have me on the this journey to discover and know who I really am in Him, as well as to dare to dream. As CS Lewis has put it: "You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." I want His dream for me! I hope to find the confident and real me, and to find His dream for me ~ that completes and fulfills His purpose and ideas, when He fearfully made me. I look forward to all He has ahead for me. I am so looking forward to reading your book. Thank you for your words of encouragement!
I am sharing this post via Facebook!
This came at such a perfect time…God's really been teaching me about this lately. My friend loaned me a copy of the book Motherstyles, by Janet Penley and it has really sparked this desire to get to know myself, the woman God created! In the midst of mothering 4 children over the last 8 years, I lost myself before I even got to know myself! Now I am busy serving in 3 MOPS roles. I was on the road to burnout, when God had me step back. Now that I am learning who I am and what energizes me and what drains me, I can do a better job in the roles I am truly called to fill. I look forward to reading your book!
Wow!! I really needed to hear this. I have been struggling with this very thing. I need to read your book. I am 36 years old. I am a wife , a mother to three teenagers, a homeschool teacher and we own our own business. I have many titles, but my question here lately is who am I? I mean the titles to not tell who I was created to be they just tell you what I do. Don't get me wrong I love each of those things and know they are God given, but I don't know who I am apart from those titles. You get so caught up in doing all what those titles require of you and somewhere in all of it you loose sight of who you are. A matter of fact the more I try to be better at each of those things I seem to feel as though I fail. Trying to be what everyone else needs me to be and not even considering who God created me to be. Gosh I don't even know what I really like to do or what my dreams are. It seems as my children are getting older the more unsettled I am getting. A lot of questions and not so many answers. Thank you for sharing this. Just knowing someone else has felt the same way and that I am not so crazy after all helps me and now I have a place to start, finding out why I am the way I am and that God created me to be like no other and that He has plans for me too. I have always told everyone else these things but I have never really applied it to me.
Kim
Hi Renee my name is Joan I received my first Devotional Encouragement For Today May 18/11. Relate to Becoming the Real me. Fits me to a "T".
Psalm 139:13 I have often shared with my family and close friends. I always feel reassure when in doubt. As to what my purpose here in life is meant to be. I look forward to Reading your new book. I am 67 and sure would like to know God's reason and plans he had in mind. When he created me and knit me together in my Mothers womb.
Praying I will be chosen to win a copy of this awesome book.
In Christian love
Joan
Thank you for reminding us that God created each of us special! Way too often we lose our identity. Taking time to allow God to reveal His plans and purpose for our lives is exciting. I am looking forward to reading your book!
It is so amazing how God has His perfect timing. As of late, I have been truly struggling with my place in His world. I am afraid that I too have not really held on to or ever really known my purpose. It has been a source of tremendous grief for me, because I have been surrounded by people who always knew. I have always just tried to fit in the shoes that I keep being presented with and I find I can walk around but I always feel that pinch of something not being right. It isn't really pleasant and seems more duty. Your gifts shouldn't feel like a duty.
Thank you for this post Renee. It truly was a blessing. I am looking forward to learning God's plan.
Renee can totally relate to your words in the short video as I have NO clue who I am or who God made me to be I don't even know what my own dreams are. I've never taken the time to try and know any of this about myself I've always been the women others want me to be and who I thought they wanted me to be, so THANK YOU. Christy
Renee,
I am so excited about the response to your book! God is going to use this book book to change so many lives!! Praise His Name!!
Love you,
Tammy
Thanks for the encouragement to find who God created me to be! And not just continue to wonder, "Who am I?" Confidence is definitely a struggle, so I look forward to reading your new book.
I'm 53 and wish I knew what God wanted me to be when I grow up. Time to find out, I'd say!
Shawn
I can't wait to read your book! Confidence is something I often struggle with. May God bless this book and use it to heal women that really need assurance from Jesus.
I'm working right now to find my place in the world and today's devotional resonated quite strongly. Thank you for the encouragement to keep seeking the Lord's purpose for my life.
Natalie
20 years ago, I had a brain aneurysm. Because I could not see, my self esteem was not affected. After I did see and some of the side effects became noticeable, THEN my self esteem plummeted. Six years after the aneurysm, I became friends with a fantastic man. He made me feel like a million dollars. Six years later, something happened and we were no longer on speaking terms. This devastated me. I am trying really hard to see myself and accept myself in Gocd's eyes instead of depending on a person. Thank you for your article and ahead of time, thank you for your book. I intend to buy a few copies.-jeannette
Thank you for sharing today's devotion. I need to be reminded that I am created for HIS purpose. I have to stop doubting and put my confidence in God.