I came home from “She Speaks” without words.
It could be that I talked too much. I averaged 5000 words a day, at least! It could be my lack of sleep. I averaged 3-5 hours each night, at the most. But I think it’s more.
I am undone.
I cannot even find the words to describe all that I feel, all that God did. His presence was so powerful, so real. The aroma of Christ filled each room and each heart. I saw Jesus in every woman I met. I remember thinking last week that I couldn’t wait for Him to take my breath away – and He did.
The most beautiful memory I have is watching so many different and beautiful women come to the cross Saturday night to meet with Jesus, to lay down their doubts, fears, disappointments and pain, to experience the power of His Truth, His love, His resurrection.
I couldn’t help but remember how I had lived this moment just weeks ago in my own life, as I battled with overwhelming doubt and cried out to God to rescue me. I had been to the Cross and layed in His shadow. I had sat at my desk and written out promises that God brought to my mind, to lead me out of the shadow of doubt and into the shadow of the cross.
Something happened that night because God gave me more than promises. He gave me a new name with each one: CALLED, ANOINTED, FREE, REDEEMED, REMEMBERED, LOVED, SECURE, CONFIDENT, ABLE, BLESSED.
God gave me a new strength as I read these words. I ran into the shelter of the Most High, and experienced the power of the Almight overshadowing me. The darkness of doubt lifted. God had allowed this struggle to draw me into a deeper dependence on Him. As I prayed over the list, it also became clear that this was for more than me. This was going to be His gift to His girls at She Speaks.
Hundreds of cards with eleven different promises were created and placed at the foot of the cross on Saturday night. We anointed them with prayer and watched, knowing that as women came forward to lay down their doubts they would pick up God’s personal promise and His new name for them. It was beautiful!!!!!!!!!!
The next day I heard that many women didn’t know there was a “word” shadowed on the card behind their verse. The news spread that there was more. It was SO powerful to watch women look beyond the first promise to see the second one in a shadow behind it. And again, God took my breath away…leaving me speechless.
If you were at She Speaks, I would love to hear about the promise you picked up, your shadowed word behind it, and what it means to you!!! I’ll share mine if you share yours :-).
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Renee,
Your message was powerful. I didn’t get my card until Sunday morning as I didn’t realize Sat night that they were there, but I still got the word I needed from God. This is a word he’s been giving me a long time, yet I took it for granted. Months and months ago I had bought one of those wooden cutouts of the word and placed it on a wall in my home, now it was given to me on the card at She Speaks, and for once I feel it, it’s real. Here’s more: http://lifefrommylaptop.com/2008/06/23/blessed/
OH Renee,
I was so blessed by God by the word He gave me. I have been recovering from being beaten down by man’s opinion of me. God gave me an unspeakable freedom from that this whole conference. It was unreal in a way or should I say SUPERNATURAL. I am talking even about being evaluated in my speaker groups and meetings with the publishers. This year I went with it not being about me at all. There was a new freedom. Well, Sunday while I was driving home I checked out my card and it said, “FREE.” Oh and the verse was from Jeremiah about seeking GOd with all your heart and Him bringing you back from captivity.
Renee, that was so special-thank you so much for your obedience to God. I needed that word as confirmation. I am truly at a new place in freedom.
Much love,
Angela
BTW-Your message was so wonderful too. God did a great work.
Freedom, that was and is my promise…the full measure of which has not yet been fully tasted, but this weekend went long and far toward the feeding.
Thank you, Renee, for all your encouragement and genuine “realness.” You will never know just how much your pep talks meant to me.
Check the blog when you get a chance. I’ve posted some second thoughts about the weekend.
peace~elaine
Renee,
I was praying for you, that God would speak through you Saturday night. And by visiting all the blogs of those who were there, I can tell that He did. Many, many of them are citing the verses they picked up, and how much it spoke to them.
I printed all those verses myself and have them put up on the wall right above my desk here, so that I can read them every day.
Praise God for the blessing you are to so many, and for Him using you the way He did! Thank you for being so open with your heart and life, and so willing to be used by Him.
God bless,
Heather
Renee
Your message was absolutely Holy Spirit Inspired!
My promise was also Eph 1:18-19
with the shadowed word Blessed. I actually picked up 2! 🙂 My other one had the word ABLEon it. Both of my promises ministered to me greatly as I have believed some of the lies satan has whispered in my ear.
Also, one of the ladies in my speaker group went into the prayer room and told me that where she choose to pray, there was my name. There were many names of God that were coupled with ours. My name was with Emmanuel- God is with us.
It was very evident that the entire team put alot of time and prayer into this past weekend. Through the P31 team, everyone who was there was able to reap the benefits of the labor put forth.
WOW! That is just a tid bit that I walked away with.
Thank you for answering the Call!
Angla Whitmire
My promise was security for the little girl within me. It’s time to let go of the very thing the Lord gave back to me. Thank you for the message of the Cross and for sharing your own doubt and fear with so many. You my friend have blessed us with your faithful obediance. It was so good seeing you.
Love you to the sky and back
Cris
My promise was security for the little girl within me. It’s time to let go of the very thing the Lord gave back to me. Thank you for the message of the Cross and for sharing your own doubt and fear with so many. You my friend have blessed us with your faithful obediance. It was so good seeing you.
Love you to the sky and back
Cris
Hello, Renee!
I went expecting to hear from God in some way, and I got my message on Saturday, when I picked up a promise after leaving my fears at the cross.
I am writing a book about God’s promises for children with autism. I often get questions about certain topics, such as vaccine injury, that I know from experience are hot issues. I had some fear about speaking out what I believe God has shown me to be true, knowing I will be criticized at times, and probably harshly.
The promise I drew from the cross was a mirrored version of Isaiah 61:1-2, a verse I have been holding onto for encouragement for months as I wrote this book. At the cross, I drew Luke 4:18-19, verses where Jesus reads Is. 61:1-2 and proclaims that He fulfills the promise.
Identical words,identical promise, but placed in different locations of the Bible…why? I thought about this and realized that in the Luke version, JESUS is speaking the promise…and fulfilling it at the same time!
I now know that I can put my fears to rest because I understand that Jesus is the One setting the captives free, in this case, children with autism. I’m only a pen in His hand!
I find a lot of comfort in that promise, and it encourages me to know that He does, indeed, here the cries of so many children with autism whose little voices are gone. (1 in 150…)
My word was “ANOINTED”. Wow. I can face any giant with confidence that Christ is in control. (Even Big Pharma!)
Thanks,
Renee,
I am so sad that I didn’t come forward. I was sitting at my table with tears streaming down my face, watching and praying for all the other women walk to the front.
This weekend continues to bless me after reading your post. The lesson I am learning is that there is so much more for me to hold on to. So much more that the Lord has for my life if I would just reach out. He is opening door after door for me, my part is simply to walk through.
Your message about the enemy begining to attack as soon as you step out for the Lord is still with me. You see, there was one gal who put some seeds of doubt in my head, and Lord knows it doesn’t take much for me to sow that garden! After the high of Saturday and my positive publishers meetings, the very last person out of every single living and breathing gal there…who did I see? The women who caused me to doubt. I went to my room and shared with my sweet roommate that the enemy was already at work trying to discourage me. When I woke up on Sunday morning, I had to leave the hotel at 6am to catch my flight back to California. The hotel was asleep except for the gal behind the counter….AND that woman! She was waiting for me at the front door and asked if I would like to share a limo ride with her to the airport!?!
There was no way that I was getting in that limo with her. I joyfully paid my $46 dollars to ride alone.
God is so good Renee. If you hadn’t taught on doubt and the spiritual attack we have on our calling, well I wouldn’t have been prepared.
Forgive my long post.
Blessings on you and your precious family..and P31 ministries.
Joanne
Renee,
My word was “anointed”. I looked up “anointed” and found that it means “set apart; authorized for God’s service; consecrated”.
My name (Lisa) actually means “consecrated to God”. How much more confirmation can a girl get?
The scripture on my card was Luke 4:18-19 and speaks about proclaiming freedom for the prisoners, recovery of sight to the blind (very personal for me!) and release for the oppressed.
The special emphasis that God has given me to live and write and speak about is “forgiveness”.
Forgiveness does all the things listed in that passage in Luke, first by the forgiveness granted to us by Jesus, and second as the blessing continues when we forgive others. We then serve as a model that forgiveness is real, thus proclaiming freedom, recovery of sight and release from oppression.
Could there have been a more perfect card for me to pick up?
Here’s the kicker: The “doubt” that I had laid down was about my being set apart to serve God, to bring this message of forgiveness. This was an old tape that I have had trouble erasing, that was recorded throughout my childhood and recently re-released on DVD! 🙂
My mother has denounced me, has ceased to claim me as her child, has “kicked me out of the family” and has proclaimed that I will never amount to anything- all because I have forgiven one she deems unforgivable. I have lived my life under the shadow of her doubt in me.
I am released. I no longer need to live as if I have to prove my mother wrong. I need to pray for her… and listen to my Father.
Thank you so so much!
Lisa R.
Wow! What a blessing to hear how things went this weekend. I had been praying that God would show up in a powerful way and it sounds like He did. Praise God!
Blessings,
Pearls
Renee…I’m so glad you wrote this post. I’m thinking many more ladies will discover they have a word in the shadow of their verse.
I met a girl at the airport who had been at the conference and as I was sharing with her the verse I received Saturday evening, and went on to tell her about the revelation of the “word” in behind, she quickly rumaged through her purse to find her verse unaware of the hidden word. As she pulled the card out, she burst into tears. The word printed on the card was the EXACT word she needed to hear written over her circumstances. I was so glad I was able to make her aware of God’s promise to her on her card.
I know I read my verse to you on Saturday and that you were there when I found my ‘word’, but I will share here too. My verse was “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you.” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back form captivity.” Jeremiah 29:13-14a
The significance of that verse is two-fold. One, I had been praying for a deeper relationship with the Lord. I want to hear His faintest whisper. I want to know His heart so deeply that the silences speak of His presence. As I spent time in the prayer room on Saturday afternoon I was praying that the Lord would reveal more of Himself to me as I was seeking hard after Him.
The last part of the verse brought me to tears – the promise of being released from captivity. Renee – I am held captive by so many things – fear most of all. This entire trip has been a journey from fear to faith and God is promising that He will bring me back from captivity. I read that and just burst into tears. What a precious promise for me. I think of a Steve Green song I posted on my blog not long ago, “He holds the keys”. The lyrics say, “And to all of the things that have kept you away, that keep you defeated day after day after day, the heartache that nobody sees that eats at your soul like a cruel disease, He who sets the captives free, it is He, it is He who holds your keys”.
I’m currently going through Beth Moore’s devotional, “Breaking Free” as more than anything I long for that complete freedom and abandon.
When you asked me Sunday morning what ‘word’ I had received, I couldn’t find my card quick enough. There printed, beyond a shadow of a doubt, was the word, ‘FREE’!
I’m claiming that God has already released the shackles that have bound me for almost 46 years and that I will live in the power of the cross.
What a delight to meet you my friend. My love and prayers continue. You are a treasure! Saturday night’s message was the reason God called me to N.C. So thankful I didn’t miss all that He had planned for me.
Love & prayers,
Joy
Renee, the cards sound so awesome!!! What a God inspired idea. I know you girls had a blast.
Jeannie
Oh, how I wish I could have been there! I’ve heard from so many that your message was powerful indeed! Will your message be offered for purchase on cd? I would love to get a copy. What a great idea about the cards? What a wonderfully creative way to capture God’s blessings and prayers and confirmation for His children attending the conference.
Prayers and Blessings!
Rebecca
Renee,
I can’t even begin to tell you how moved I was by your talk on Saturday night. It was as if God was speaking directly to me through each word you said. I’ve had doubts and struggles for some time asking God over and over again for a sign, just like Gideon, so the scriptures you read were perfect. Then, once I decided about a year and a half ago that God was indeed calling me, I felt like He was telling me to wait. That it would be in His perfect timing. Waiting is a difficult thing for me to do. I am a “doer” so I want things to happen quickly. But I have been dragging my feet on some things that I knew I should be doing, sort of blaming God. I felt nothing was happening because He was making me “wait.”
Then you read these words, “Gideon replied, “If now I have found favor in your eyes, give me a sign that it is really you talking to me. Please do not go away until I come back and bring my offering and set it before you.” And the Lord said, “I will wait until you return.”
All this time I thought I was waiting on God and it was as if the Spirit whispered to me, “I’ve been waiting on you. Give me your offering.”
Then when I went forward laying all my doubts and insecurities down, the verse I received was “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has annointed me to preach the good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor. ” Luke 4:18-19 And the background word was Anointed.
Of course we know when we finally lay down our burdens and take up our promise or our calling that is when our enemy comes at us the hardest.
Last year 2 days after returning from She Speaks, my son had a 4 hour status seizure and spent a week in the ICU. I got very distracted and discouraged.
Today, he had another status seizure and we have spent the entire day in the hospital.
I feel as though I am in an intense spiritual battle, but I am resolved to do what God has called me to do.
Please pray for us and for me to keep a willing heart.
Bless you and all the P31 ladies for the hearts you poured into us this weekend.
Renee,
My word was cofident. It was the perfect word as I too have been struggling with doubt. I doubt my ability, my calling, my purpose and even my heart. I struggled with doubt both Friday and Saturday. Your message was powerful and spoke directly to me and my circumstances. Thank you for sharing your heart and being available to be used by God!
Wow!!! I love hearing about the verses God gave each of you and the stories that reveal why each one is special.
There were eleven different designs of the cards. Then we made 60 copies of each kind, so that each one of us, 560 women, could pick up one that would be hand-picked by God.
Yes, God picked the one He wanted each one of us to receive. I love how He knows us!!!
Renee,
My promise was Isaiah 43:10 “You are my witness,” declares the LORD, “and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am He”.
I know that ladies came from all over to hear the good news. I don’t think any were disappointed. I have felt for the past three years that God has called me to be a speaker. This year I did some speaking and the week before the confrence made a committment to answer the call full time.
My shadowed word was CALLED. God knew just the one to give me. I have stopped looking for signs saying “Diane do this for me”. It could not be any clearer that he is calling my name.
I am sure that when these card were made and printed out there were more than one of the same kind. But getting the very one we did was by divine grace.
Thank you for reminding us that when we lay something at the cross, our arms are free to pick what He wants for us.
Get some rest,
Diane
HI Renee,
My word was “secure” and it was so fitting. My life has been shaken up lately and it was so sweet of God to remind me how secure I am in Him even when the circumstances around me are not. Thank you for sharing one of the most powerful messages of the weekend!
Hey Renee!
My promise was Ephesians 1:18-19 — “I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.”
That you may know the hope . . . . Considering that hope is my theme this year, it couldn’t have fit better. And I love the idea of calling, that God has called me.
And then there is the idea of power for us who believe. I’ve lived so much of my life feeling powerless — powerless in the face of abuse, powerless in the face of depression. But it is so cool to think that believers, that I, can tap into HIS power.
The word behind it was “BLESSED.” Another irony for me who thinks I don’t have much sometimes. I love that it said blessed rather than will be blessed or might be. It is in the past tense as well as the now.
One of my favorite verses is John 17:3 “Now this is eternal life that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.” Too often I think of eternal life as something that is to come. In reality, it began the day I came to know Jesus.
I was so blessed this weekend . . . .
I’ve started just a bulleted list in a journal to remind myself of every blessing. It is now 3 pages full — no details just bullet points.
I am blessed.
Thank you for everything.