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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Shaping Your Child’s Character

UPDATE: I’m back from TEXAS!!! Wow, what an amazing time we had. I have photos and stories to share as soon as I get come braincells back. If you were there, I’m so glad you joined us. I hope I got to hug your neck or see your smiling face in the crowd!! Wasn’t it a blast? Truly, one of those times that will be forever engraved in my heart! Never in a million years did I imagine I’d have the honor to be part of something so God-sized. I wish all of you could’ve been there with us!!

If you are new to my blog, welcome! We are in the middle of some parenting posts. Today I want to share some practical ways we can learn and live God’s truths with our kids. If you’re just joining us, please read Wednesday’s and Thursday’s post to help this all make sense.

I eventually took down our poster board, which was faded and falling apart after a few years. I had started speaking and had lots of moms asking me to create a chart for the. I wanted it to be more easily accessible – something I could keep on my kitchen table or on the refrigerator, so I designed the Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child character chart in the size of a calendar. We had them professionally printed and are about to go into our third printing this month.

The chart includes 24 character traits. It has four columns for each train. The first column lists the traits as “Golden Attitudes and Actions” with a child-friendly definition for each trait. The second column includes a corresponding “nugget of truth” (Bible verse) for each trait. The third column is called “Bring it to the Surface” and includes three ways we can live out each trait and put it into action. The fourth column lists the “dirt” (sinful traits) that bury the gold within.

Although the concept is geared toward kids between 4-11, the principles can be adapted to live and learn with older kids, too. Having easy access to the information makes it so much more doable for me. And I have to say, God has used it to shape my character and make me more aware of how I can act and thinking like He does.

Here are a few simple steps to get you started (either with the MFG chart or with a list of traits you create yourself):

Discuss the Value of Character
Talk with your children about the importance of character. Explain to them that God is most concerned with who we are on the inside, which is reflected in our character. To get familiar with the different character traits, review one trait along with the definition and verse each day or so for the next month.

Determine to Learn and Live God’s Word
After reviewing the traits, look for ways to live out a golden attitude or action and verse each week. Each character trait includes a definition and a list of ways you can model it in everyday life. When our kids were younger, we put the verses to the tune of a favorite song or made up a jingle of our own. It really helps the kids and us memorize the verse that goes with each trait.

Dig for Pre-existing Nuggets of Gold
Give this new adventure is a positive start. Look for attributes that come naturally for your child. Here are a few examples to help you identify the gold already hidden within:

  • Is your child compassionate — caring about someone who got hurt on the playground?
  • Is your child generous — offering to give a friend one of her toys or part of her snack?
  • Is your child responsible —taking out the trash or making his bed without being asked?

Develop a Reward System
Be sure to praise your children for showing good character. Take time at dinner, in the car and at bedtime to talk about ways you and your children have lived out the traits and verses. Kids live for affirmation.

Don’t Get Overwhelmed
Teaching character doesn’t have to be another to do on your list. God wants it to be an everyday part of your life. But it will take some time and some tools to help you get started. Here’s how I have formatted each trait in the chart.

 

Use Kind Words
Speak with words that honor others.

Nugget of Truth: Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

Bring It to the Surface
Say thanks if someone does something for you or gives something to you.
Say please when asking for something.
Tell others what you like about them.

Dirt that Buries the Gold
Sarcasm: Proverbs 4:24
Rudeness: Ephesians 4:29
Bragging: James 4:16

You may want to develop your own list of traits, verses and ideas on index cards, or click on this link to find out more about the“Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child“ chart. It includes everything you’ll need in a simple format to make it easy and fun. And I’ll be giving two sets today, too.

I would love to hear what traits you’d like to start learning and living with your family!

Copyright 2009, Rene Swope – All rights reserved.

 

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Today’s Mom Give-Aways

We’re giving away two sets of my “Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child“ CD and chart, two tickets to the D6 Conference and a year’s worth of Family Devotional Magazines from D6.

To be part of these give-aways, click on “comments” below. PLEASE include your email so we can get in touch if you win and I’d love to know where you are from.

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Comments

  1. I think that this just sounds fantastic! My Bible study group is talking about this right now – about how to teach Biblical character traits to our children, and can’t wait to see what you’ve created!

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  2. It just so happens that I have a 4 year old and an 11 year old so they are perfect for your age recommendation! This seems like a terrific way to teach them without being too preachy – fun and practical at the same time. I know my 4 year old responds well to this sort of reward chart and so would her older sister.
    Geralyn
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  3. Renee
    I am in the midst of saying yes God I will obey, I will strive to be like You and think like You and teach my children to do the same. Your blog entries are so helpful to me. I am from BC Canada.
    [email protected]

  4. I saw this as one of your speaking topics previously and have considered purchasing it several times; but finances…would LOVE to win!!

    Thank you for taking the time each day to be a blessing to so many!

    Shanda
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  5. Thanks for sharing your insights into building character in our children.

    gr8tful1 (at) comcast (dot) net

  7. Renee, Thanks for designing such a user friendly tool to develop the traits we moms so often long for in our kids but are at a loss how to achieve. Pure Mommy genius!

    [email protected]

  10. What a great idea and a necessary one.
    With my 2 oldest being 5/4 this is definetly the time in their lives to do these things.
    My question is how to explain these things on at a level they would understand.
    I will def be checking out the chart you have. Something I could definetly use with them.
    And even my 2-1/2 yr old would be interested where he has such a loving heart already.
    And a reward system sounds like a great idea- we try to affirm then when they are kind to one another.

    I strive to be a mom of character so that I can pass this on to my children so that they will want to be more like Jesus.

    Chrissy
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  11. Renee, I have struggled with family devotions for years, but you have given me some ideas this week. Thanks. I have a 14 yr old that needs to see the importance of devotions, and a 21 yr old that needs the encouragement that studying together will bring.

    Have a good day,

    Sharon [email protected]

  12. Your posts are very encouraging. I have some great kids (5 and 3). They are very compassionate and helpful (most of the time). However, my husband and I know there a lot of work to shape and mold their character. I am interested in learning more about your chart. We are in Georgia.
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  13. I have a 3 year old son who is the kindest, most compassionate child. I would love to be able to continue to encourage these traits, as well as others. I love your blog, thanks so much!

    Lisa
    Nashville, TN
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  14. I can’t wait to begin this with my 9 year old son. I want to thank you for sharing all the wonderful information. It’s so great for those of us who don’t come up with these ideas ourselves. 🙂

    Thank you.
    [email protected]

  15. Joyful – you might check out Josh McDowell’s “Family Devotions” books – he has one for younger kids and one for olders kids. I think they are great conversation starters.

    Renee – I cannot tell you how very much I NEED this training on gold-digging! God has definitely given my oldest a sense of compassion and generosity (she regularly saves money in a jar for “kids in the hospital”)….my youngest? Well, it’s time to start digging! 🙂

    Thanks for entering me in your give-away!

    [email protected]

  18. I have a little boy who will turn one next week. Recently, I have really felt God urging me to study His word and look at resources about training children. Thank you, Renee, for the awesome information on your blog. It has come at just the right time.
    Melinda
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  19. Renee,

    This morning we just finished our morning devotional book and I am checking out your material for another to start. I so need the encouragement daily!

    Praying traveling mercies for you ladies today! Thanks for coming to Houston…maybe we can even get you to College Station next time!!!

    [email protected]