Thanks for stopping by today! If you found your way here from my P31 devotion, I’m so glad you stopped by. I promised to share some practical ways we can fail forward with God’s help in areas where we most often feel defeated.
Failing forward is about rising again and doing the best you can the next time. It’s also about giving yourself grace when your best isn’t as good as you want it to be.
If you really want to move forward when you have a setback, first determine one or two areas of your life that are most important for you to start seeing progress. Then ask yourself these questions:
What makes you feel like you are failing in each area? (when I yell, when I overeat, when I lie, when I…)
List common things that keep you from succeeding? (tiredness, busyness, unorganized)
How do you feel when you fail in those areas? (depressed, angry, sad)
Who can determine the actions you take or reactions you have?
What is one change you can make so that you see at least a little progress in one area?
Now, ask God to show you how you can take one step forward with His help in that area. Then another.
Set a goal or boundary, that you will commit to today to keep from falling again. Then stick to it. I know you can and I’ll be praying for you!!!
Please also ask God to show you the progress you’ve made and how you are becoming the woman He created you to be. We need to encourage our hearts and notice our progress or we’ll always feel defeated!
Also, click here to read why it’s important that we don’t give up, and how we can learn to get up and keep going! But first, let me know how I can pray for you today by sharing your thoughts and goals in today’s comments.
Tomorrow I’ll share some more thoughts in specific areas, and I’ll do a fun give-away from your comments today – so be sure to leave your email, too! I’ll announce last week and this week’s winners on Friday!
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I so needed to read this today! THANK YOU!
I definitely had my monthly meltdown tonight with my kids and my husband and was feeling strongly defeated, small, and so unworthy of all the blessings in my life.
One of my biggest faults is letting worry and negativity consume me, and taking every failure to heart, letting it win.
I needed to be reminded that I am not in control and that my path is a positive one, no matter how many bumps…
thank you for putting it so eloquently!
I wish I could write each one of you a note and a personal prayer. I wanted to do that today as your comments were posted but time did not allow me that privilege.
I did take time to pray for you as each comment came to me through email all throughout my day.
Tonight, I read every one of them again – your comments, stories and prayer requests. And I carried each of you and your circumstances, struggles, questions and needs to Jesus. I have lifted you and your relationships, your finances, your jobs, your children, your disappointments, your pain, your heartache, your loss, your questions, your regrets, your fears, your desires, your hopes, your dreams, your illness and your needs all to the Father for His help and grace in your time of need. And then I laid them all at the foot of the Cross.
I am so thankful for the Cross, a level place where we can be real with each other. I am so thankful for this blog today, where you have been so real with one another. I have loved hearing that you are praying for each other and I hope that we will all continue. Prayer is the most powerful and personal gift we can give. And we all need it so much right now.
I’ll be back tomorrow with some thoughts on ways we can fail forward in specific areas. And I’ll address some of the recurring thoughts and questions from today’s comments.
Good night friends!
Renee
A Failing Forward Mother….that’s who I see myself as…Each time adversity comes my way with regards to my daughter I lose all hope and dismiss all of the things I have put in place to help her. There are times…like today that I feel like my back is up against the wall…and that the world is against me and her…don’t they understand that raising a child on your own…there is only so much one can do. maybe my feeling of failures come because I am not walking in Faith or spending time with God…my prayer life is non-existent…the last year or two I have been struggling spiritually and I need to find my way back to God…to make time for him and pray…your devotion spoke to my heart…Your prayers are appreciated…
Hello Renee,
I read your devotional today on my Encouragement for Today and I must say that it is what I needed to read. Right now I am facing so many different challenges.
1) I have just been diagnosed with Psuedo Tumor Cerebri. Which is when your body produces too much Cerebral spinal fluid and you have a lot of pressure to your brain which causes headaches and damage to your optic nerve. It can be contolled with medicine and weight loss.
2) I am being taken to court next week by my exhusband who wants to assume domilicary parental rights and what hurts the most is that my 14 and 11 year old want to live with him. I was remarried 4 years ago and my husband and I have devoted our lives to Christ and don’t believe that we should conform to the thoughts of what the world thinks is right so our children like us. This is where the discontent comes into play with the preference of my children. I remind myself that I am doing what is right and that as a believer I will have to suffer for standing up for what I know is right.
3) We are in the process of having our home being forclosed on. We have made a huge attempt to satisfy the terms of our home loan and have not been successful. We are blessed with a home that we will be able to “rent to own” from a great friend of ours.
With all of this on my plate, I have to continue to remind myself that even if I allowed my weight to creep up on me and now am faced with medical issues, even if I have tried my best to do what I thought was in the best interest of my kids and now I may be faced with losing time them and even if we paid as much as we could on our home and are losing it, I know that this is in His plan and that there is far more for me to learn than I can ever try to understand right now.
So thanks for this devotional.
Tightly In His Grip,
Jamie Kiger
[email protected]
Hey Renee,
Thanks for the encouragement. That really hit home today. Just last night I was lying in bed thinking about what a failure I feel that I am in all areas of my life…work, marriage, parenting, housekeeping, etc. I tend to compare myself with others or maybe to unrealistic ideals and see how I don't measure up. There never seems to be enough time. And I bounce back and forth between feeling unworthy or feeling like I deserve a break. Now I think I'm just rambling. Anyway, I often battle depressed moods…often caused by fatigue. And sometimes pray that I could die. I don't want to live my life as a failure. And I know that I am truly blessed–so many others have it way worse than I do. I just let things…little, everyday annoyances, etc. add up & get to me. So I appreciated your devotion. I definitely need some balance in my life. Look forward to more from you tomorrow.
Cheryl
[email protected]
I have not left a comment before, but this is exactly what I needed to hear. I don’t have time to go into detail here, but a few areas I need to work on are organizing things in my house and eating healthy food.
[email protected]
Hi!
I so need to put my construction cones up this week. I am not very good with people who are taller than me (that’s one reason I’m currently teaching preschool!) but lately there have been some issues with miscommunications and misunderstandings and things like the issue you saw at the end of our Saturday conference. I’m not really sure what I can do about it, but I do wish I could learn whatever it is that God wants me to learn! I’m also really enjoying learning more about how to match up my personality and likes with the things that God calls us to do. I want to learn more about those things so I can be better there and maybe fail less often with the tall people.
[email protected]
Love the post. I really need to start balancing my commitments. I have a need to say yes to too much and then get irritated and grouchy when I have no time for myself.
Hey Renee~
Thank you for sharing. A friend stopped by this morning and we were talking about this very thing! It is so hard to trust God with our failures and believe that He really will use all things for good. Especially since we are perfectionist.
I told my friend that if we wait to do His work until we are perfect we will never get His work done. I appreciate that you shared this and confirmed what the Lord was speaking to our hearts today.
I have been observing Him work through you and I have not seen you fail once. Might happen but many don’t notice, they just see Jesus shining through you!
If you check out my blog you will see one of my “failing forward” moments.
I am amazed at the timing of these devotions for my life. It is rare that they don’t speak to me right where I am as if I was the only one in the world receiving them. How amazing is that?
Hope all is well!
Blessings,
Cheri
Hello Renee;
My very good friend sent me your devotional "Failing Forward", and said that hopefully it would inspire me. Lately I have been so emotional, and when I read your devotional the tears started to roll, and I could'nt stop. I do feel like such a failure right now. I am currently unemployed and the stress and pressures of this situation has placed my marriage in even a greater strugle. I had a friend ask me yesterday, that if I had Jesus standing in front of me, and he asked what are the three things I would ask of him? I replied 1.To make my marriage wonderful and whole again (to know for certain that I am my husbands everything). You see, my husband and I have been distant from one another lately, and I can see & feel the dissapointment in his demeanor about my unemployment, & that hurts tremendously! 2. to find a GOOD job that I can keep and excel at. It is amazing how the loss of a job can make you feel worthless,useless & a failure. Your words hit the spot when the devotional read that sometimes you feel like giving up on your self. I have thought that countless times, and totaly undeserving. 3.Spiritual growth; I know I have a long ways to go in my knowledge of Jesus. My husband and I have not attended church since 2007 (we don't belong to any currently). I have tried going by my self, but I continue to fail in that regard. I have started recently by taking small steps and reading 2 daily devotionals, and hope that each day something will apply to my current life and help me to learn, grow, and apply it.
So, since you have offered to pray for me, I am humbly asking for your prayers for the above mentioned issues, because certainly I can use all the help I can get right now. I just need to feel peace and comfort to my acheing heart. I am so vulnerable right now and my husband is away from home visiting his family in Florida for the next 5 days,his mom has been strugling with breast cancer and undergoing chemo. Since I know God can do anything, I hope that he will work in my husband's heart & mind and produce a miracle! to bring him back as renewed man passionate about our marriage and the family that we have. His mom also needs all the prayers possible for healing from this terrible disease.
Thank you for rendering your time to devote to so many of us that are in distress right now. May God bless you for all that you are doing.
Sincerely,
M.Allen
Reading today’s devotion at 3:38 pm was just exactly what I needed. Although it’s usually one of the first e-mails I read each morning, this week has been an extraordinarily difficult one. I work with young people through a national youth development organization. I feel as though I give my all to my job sometimes even sacrificing my family and work at home to be the best I can be at work.
This week began with 3 phone calls from parents upset or concerned with me about their children’s experience(s) in our program. I had made some mistakes that were completely unintentional but nonetheless hurtful to those involved.
In conversations I never lost my composure, but didn’t feel successful at explaining my reasoning for decisions I’d made. I usually feel successful at problem solving, but this week that has not been the case. It hurts most b/c some adult and his/her child thinks I am a bad person.
I feel defeated and want to give up knowing all the while that I can’t, I won’t.
Satan even creeps in telling me that my friends want nothing to do with me…that I don’t dress well enough, wear the right clothes, have the right position or know the right people.
I know I am not perfect – far from it — but my heart hurts at the thought of others’ feelings getting stomped on so that I may learn, grow and development God’s way. I can admit my mistakes and have made apologies and corrected my wrongs to the best of my ability — at least I think I have — but my heart still hurts and I keep questioning myself — is there more I could’ve done or should do? Am I just not forgiving myself? I don’t know for sure but I want God to show me. I want to grow…I hope pride is not getting in the way.
Thank you for your devotion. It has given me much to consider. I always gain wisdom from your experiences and teaching.
Hi Renee,
(I love that name! It’s also my sister’s middle name.. and my little niece’s, come to think of it.) Your devotional was right on the money, and it always is. I try to read Proverbs 31 devotionals every day, and they’re always exactly what I need to hear. I usually even forward them to my Mom, Sister, Small Group members.. and whoever else I can muster up for that matter; and they all seem to have the same response. I love you for allowing God to use you the way He does. What a wonderful minister you’ve been to me. I call it my spiritual breakfast! And going through all of these many comments has been a tremendous blessing! Reminding me that many of the trials I think I’m facing alone, others are going through too. (The key word being through.) Meaning there’s going to be a definite time and place where we will find ourselves on the other side of where we are. How encouraging to know that we are positively “failing forward!”
Reminds me of a boat. As a little girl I used to always go fishing with my Dad and Pop Pop. We would get out into the water, bait our hooks, cast our lines, reel’em in slow. After a few catches, a sandwich or two, and some good laughs, I would look out towards the shoreline only to discover Pop Pop’s boat had mysteriously traveled out, further into the ocean (when we weren’t looking). I could barely make out the striped fabric on the beach umbrellas. All of the beach-goers and sun-bathers looked like ants! It was always such a mystery to me, until one day I got curious enough to ask about it. That’s when my Dad and Pop Pop explained to me the significance of the current. See, while we were baiting, casting, reeling, eating, and laughing, Pop Pop’s boat was drifting, drifting, drifting. Slowly but surely, inch by inch, we were moving.. in whatever direction that current was going to take us. We had no control over it, only an anchor to slow it down.
In today’s devotional I’m reminded that failing forward is like fishing in Pop Pop’s boat. We really have no control over our failures. We have an anchor, Jesus Christ, who helps to “slow them down” or minimize them. But let’s face it, none of us will ever fit the mold of being “perfect”.. or without sin. Our Savior filled those shoes for us, because an all-knowing God has a cure to everything!
Recently, I have felt like the biggest failure! I would hear voices in my head pressuring me to “do” and “be more.” My Mom is terribly pessimistic about MOST things and has been for the majority of my life, and I just so happen to be her designated sounding board. She can also be QUITE demanding. (I live with my Mom.) It drains, frustrates, and pulls from me. My brother is very judgmental and, oddly enough, seems to get inside of my head every time I am around him. (I also live with my brother.)
In my home if you’re “too nice” it’s subconsciously received as weakness. If you treat people insignificantly and talk to them in a condescending manner, you’re respected. Everything seems to be subliminal warfare. Many times I have acted out of my frustration and have consequently said some things to my Mother, I wish I would not have said. Or completely ignored my brother to avoid playing “mind-sweep” with him, when I know they both need help. I want to love them with a Christ-love, but often I get lost in translation. In today’s devotional I am encouraged to know that failing isn’t standing still. Failing is more like the evidence of motion. I’m moving. My God holds the current, and only He knows the journey. But I can trust that with Him as my Captain, I will make it to the destination He has planned for me. (He’s also my travel agent.) 😉
God Bless you Renee! And every commenter! I pray that God would continue to encourage all of us, and open our eyes, like Elisha’s servant, to see Who holds the boat, the current and ultimately our failures. I pray that He would give us all the spirit of endurance and light-heartedness as we learn to “fail forward” with Him and each other! Amen.
Love Always,
Reese
Hello Renee,
I read your devotional today on Proverbs 31. Thank you so much for encouraging my heart. Lately I have been really struggling with feeling like I’m failing as a wife and mother. Yesterday my two teenage children and I had a huge falling out and I ended up being the one crying and asking myself where did I go wrong.
May God continue to bless you as you are a blessing to the body of Christ.
Renee,
Thank you for a wonderful devotion today! I love this idea of failing forward. The whole time I was reading it I was thinking of a situation in my life that happened a few months ago. I was serving as the Coordinator or my local MOPS group and suffered a breakdown. I had made decisions that I thought were the best for the group and some under me did not agree and attacked me, my motives and character. I was very, very hurt as I felt I was doing the right thing and I let it affect me more than it should. It was a failing point for me. I knew God has led me to that role as leader and I fell under the enemy’s attacks and stepped down. Looking back now I see how it was Satan and his plan, but God has used it for good and has shown me lessons about myself that I needed to take away from that situation. I had been praying about starting a P31 Gather and Grow group in my area and for a while stopped praying about doing that because of feelings of failure. I thought “how can I possibly lead a group if I can’t do what God asked me to do in MOPS?” I now know that was the enemy’s plan and I can learn from this and move on. I desire to have a heart solely sold out to Christ and lead other women to Him.
My daily struggles are with being a godly mom. I struggle with correction and discipline and also how to balance the “me” time with devoting every minute to my son. God is really changing me and working on me right now in these areas.
Thanks Renee for your ministry. I loved meeting you last year at “She Speaks.” The conference changed my life!
God Bless~
Hi Renee,
I needed this devotion today. Was just having similiar conversation with my husband about how I felt like I was failing at being a wife and mother. I am struggling with anxiety, depression and dealing with anger. Please pray with me that I have more patience and less anger. And that I can grant grace to others as God so generously grants grace to me. Please pray for healing in my marriage. Thank you.
Hi Renee,
Thank you for today’s devotional..lately I just feel like I’m failing..not forward..just FAILING!! I have 5 beautiful children(9,7,5,3,2), whom I homeschool, and we are in the process of adopting internationally. I have taken a part-time job,3-4 nights per week, to help pay for the adoption, but in the process our homeschooling has suffered.. I’m just tired all the time and can’t seem to keep up..which is so not like me because I’m usually on top of things. I want to quit the job and just concentrate on homeschooling, or find something to do from home…which I’ve tried to do without success.. My husband takes good care of the kiddos while I’m at work, so they are great!! Mom is NOT! I wanted so much to be able to do it all..but I’m not sure I can.
Thanks, Renee.
I have been trying to learn to follow a budget, especially regarding groceries and food. Each month feels so stressful, like I am spending all my mental energy on the topic, yet I still end up spending more than I budgeted each time. I’m ready to throw in the towel. . . yet we are in a different/more secure financial place than we were two years ago because of the journey he has led me on, so your devo reminded me to keep trusting his leadership.
I agree with DOakley on the house stuff, too. I am a stay-at-home-mom, yet my house is always cluttered and chaotic. I, too, want to use my house to share with others, but I can’t get past the mess.
And finally (who knew I needed so much prayer today?) I feel like there are times God does not show up for me. Not necessarily in circumstances, but just at times where I long to feel close to him. And so I assume that I must have failed and driven him away. And that is the hardest failure of all to bear.
Please pray for patience, temper, my reaction to things, respect for my husband, and time
Hello Renee,
Thank you for these awesome devotionals that you write, I thank God that He uses you as a vessel of His Love. It gives me encouragement and a deeper understanding, of how God loves me and that His love for me is unconditional.
I have recently ended a relationship that was very ugly and full of sin, and he didnt allow me to get closeir on it, because he is very controling, and once again trying to make me feel like i am the bad one.
It has taken some courage to walk away from this relationship, but i am ashamed of things that had happened during it, and i allowed myself to be a part of it. I feel like i have not only failed God but myself.
Once again thank you for being a light and a encouragement to all who read the words that flow from your heart. And thank you for your prayers.
Sincerley, Diana
I just wanted to say that I apreciate your help on this momet. THe community outreach event, and family obligations are a balancing act. This is going to be a blessed event, however it is new again to me. The stress of keeping my self on top of it is the test. just a little confused but still pressing on with this dream of reach gods people with healing, and help with christ on board.