Thanks for stopping by today! If you found your way here from my P31 devotion, I’m so glad you stopped by. I promised to share some practical ways we can fail forward with God’s help in areas where we most often feel defeated.
Failing forward is about rising again and doing the best you can the next time. It’s also about giving yourself grace when your best isn’t as good as you want it to be.
If you really want to move forward when you have a setback, first determine one or two areas of your life that are most important for you to start seeing progress. Then ask yourself these questions:
What makes you feel like you are failing in each area? (when I yell, when I overeat, when I lie, when I…)
List common things that keep you from succeeding? (tiredness, busyness, unorganized)
How do you feel when you fail in those areas? (depressed, angry, sad)
Who can determine the actions you take or reactions you have?
What is one change you can make so that you see at least a little progress in one area?
Now, ask God to show you how you can take one step forward with His help in that area. Then another.
Set a goal or boundary, that you will commit to today to keep from falling again. Then stick to it. I know you can and I’ll be praying for you!!!
Please also ask God to show you the progress you’ve made and how you are becoming the woman He created you to be. We need to encourage our hearts and notice our progress or we’ll always feel defeated!
Also, click here to read why it’s important that we don’t give up, and how we can learn to get up and keep going! But first, let me know how I can pray for you today by sharing your thoughts and goals in today’s comments.
Tomorrow I’ll share some more thoughts in specific areas, and I’ll do a fun give-away from your comments today – so be sure to leave your email, too! I’ll announce last week and this week’s winners on Friday!
Wendi, what a tricky spot to be in. I have another friend that is going through the same thing. Would be happy to talk to you about it if you could e-mail me.
Darlene
I am having troubles being a step-mom. I have been in this role for 7 years now and it just keeps getting worse. My hubby and I have just started seeing a counselor and he tells me that me being the lead parent is not my job. I am to back off and my husband is to become the lead parent again as he was over 7 years ago. I am having a really hard time letting go and realizing that I didn’t get demoted; that I had taken on a job that wasn’t mine to begin with. Not to mention I feel like there are 2 sets of rules for our kids. One that I impose on my daughter and one my husband has for my step-son. I also am feeling that what I say doesn’t matter.
I know this will take some tweaking and adjustment but I just don’t feel like I can handle it. It is making me more angry than less. And hubby has invited ss to our counseling session next week. I don’t think I am ready for that. I think we still have issues to work through on our own. I haven’t told him that yet though.
So please pray for me. My sanity, my ability to let go of the lead parent role and my relationship between me and my hubby and me and my ss. Not to mention my sweet 5 year old who is caught in the middle of all this.
I just read your blog today that followed Failing Forward- it was great and gives hope to those of us who struggle with failures of some type in our lives. I guess we have them! Thanks for your prayers for all who read your blog!
I also read the blog on your friend who is struggling with cancer. I am really praying for her today. Last night in my 9th grade girls small group at church, we talked about grace and how God’s gives us grace we don’t deserve. The girls shared experiences of where they saw God’s grace in a non material way. One told of her step mom who has cancer and was only given one year to live- it’s seven years later and she is still alive. We talked about how God can give grace which is followed by blessings even in a situation such as cancer. These girls are great! They truly see God’s grace!
Nanci Alsup
[email protected]
I just read your blog today that followed Failing Forward- it was great and gives hope to those of us who struggle with failures of some type in our lives. I guess we have them! Thanks for your prayers for all who read your blog!
I also read the blog on your friend who is struggling with cancer. I am really praying for her today. Last night in my 9th grade girls small group at church, we talked about grace and how God’s gives us grace we don’t deserve. The girls shared experiences of where they saw God’s grace in a non material way. One told of her step mom who has cancer and was only given one year to live- it’s seven years later and she is still alive. We talked about how God can give grace which is followed by blessings even in a situation such as cancer. These girls are great! They truly see God’s grace!
Nanci Alsup
[email protected]
Renee,
Thanks for offering to pray for us. Today, what’s on my heart is getting my children to obey without being controlling. I want to be loving and a good listener. Sympathetic as well but I don’t want my kids to be manipulative. I need guidance in teaching my kids to stand up for biblical convictions and not follow what other kids do, even when they know what the other child is doing isn’t right. Yesterday, my 6 and 4 year old boys turned on the hose even when they knew they were not suppose to. When I heard the water running, I checked on them. Before I had a chance to say anything out of their mouths came, “We don’t know how the hose got turned on, we didn’t do it!” Like the hose turned on all by itself. They both had bucket in one hand and an umbrella in the other! I have to say I’m not looking forward to summer and my 3 kids being out of school as usually do this year. Last summer was challenging. I feel like I’m a constant referee and a lot of fussing is going on. I need prayer for this summer. I need prayer for our words that come out of our mouths, for chores that need to be learned and done, for selfish attitudes and for my energy level. I want to be a fun Mom and do fun things with them but I feel many times they are not behaving well to go and do things and I dread those activities so we don’t do them. Sorry for rambling on. Thanks for lifting me up in prayer.
Good morning Renee,
I just had an opportunity to read the devotional on rising again…and I must say this is really on time for me right now…I am a young lady who has failed at love…just this morning…the man who came into my life to love me and to want to build a future me has finally given up…and he told me it has been over for a while but he had a glimmer of hope that things would get better…I am a teacher in the world and of the Word…and you know it is so much easier to encourage and be an encourager than to take it and invest it into my own self…I ruined this relationship by not letting go of the past…being inconsitent in my actions…not fully following through things i have promised..procrastinatinating…being not fully trustworthy in what i say or do…i know i love this man…but I finally had to take things from his perspective stop being a baby and just see how he was feeling in the matter…and really understand why he was letting me go…why he could not take how I was handling his heart anymore…Right now at this very moment…I feel like a big empty failure…trying to find courage in the Lord…trying to not just fall deeper into depression…I am single mom who has had a laundry list of horrible relationships even with my own father…whom I had to politely show the door after he used my kindness of me opening up my home to him and disrespected its sanctity…I go to God in prayer but I don’t know where else to turn…I just ask that you prayer that God will show me how to use this failure to his glory that he allow me to see the good of this failure and to show me how I can pick up the pieces and move on and be the confident woman that God has purposed to me…Thanks for your inspiration…I thank God for placing this word in your heart
DOakly- Check out FlyLady.com. She helps those of us who are “Side-tracked Home Executives” suffering from “Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome (Chaos).” It’s an encouraging website that helps us not to be overwhelmed with housecleaning! I struggle there, too.
God bless,
Jennifer
Hi Renee,
My name is Brenda Manning and I just want to thank you for your obedience to our Lord and the daily walk you have with Him, I know it is a sacrifice you make to spend time with Him and hear Him…that is my struggle. I seem to fail in that area. I was at the point in my life right now that I just wanted to give up on everything, being a wife, a mother, a woman of integrity, going to church and on God cause I thought He was working so slow at things in my life. God used your devotion to encourage me not to give up and that I am not perfect. God spoke to me that if I just obey Him that He’ll do the rest…and that a part from Him I can do nothing. For a long time I felt I had to prove myself to people cause of the person I use to be, oh I was an awful person, and found out that I have only an audience of One and my life is for Him and no one else, that if I just live my life for Christ everyone will see and know that I am not the person I use to be, God will take care of that part. My old life sneaks back up on me and tells me that I’m a failure, that I’ve always been a failure and that nothing I do will ever be good enough. I know that’s just the enemy cause he sees how I am growing now and desire righteousness. I am encouraged once again and know my Father loves me just the way that I am and that He will give me what I need to be the wife, mother, woman that He created me to be so long as I seek him with all my heart. I love the verse in Jer. 29:13, my very first bible opens with that verse and the title of my bible is The Journey A Bible for seeking God and understanding life. You shall seek me and find me when you seek Me with all your heart. God’s Word is alive and true, I think we need to start back there, seeking out our first love with all our hearts as women, I long for change in that area of my life.
Thank you Renee for being obedient and serving the Lord with your life and being an encouragement to me today in the life you walk in Christ. Brenda
I was about to email my husband(who’s in Saudi Arabia) a quite “negative” letter ’till i put it off and God made me read the devotion for today “Rising Again”.
I passed thru one of the “darkest” moments in my life lately and is on the healing stage now. I was about to give in to satan’s nagging and let go of what i have started to truly work on and be what God would want me to be as a wife and mother then i read this devotion.
I am desperate to immerse myself in things or articles like this so as not to give up what i have resolved to do-and that is to have my security not on people, or circumstances, but in Him alone.
Thank u. God is truly helping me through your ministry even before I was a member.
I am a Filipina and I Praise The Lord for using you to touch my life.
I so needed to read this today! THANK YOU!
I definitely had my monthly meltdown tonight with my kids and my husband and was feeling strongly defeated, small, and so unworthy of all the blessings in my life.
One of my biggest faults is letting worry and negativity consume me, and taking every failure to heart, letting it win.
I needed to be reminded that I am not in control and that my path is a positive one, no matter how many bumps…
thank you for putting it so eloquently!
I wish I could write each one of you a note and a personal prayer. I wanted to do that today as your comments were posted but time did not allow me that privilege.
I did take time to pray for you as each comment came to me through email all throughout my day.
Tonight, I read every one of them again – your comments, stories and prayer requests. And I carried each of you and your circumstances, struggles, questions and needs to Jesus. I have lifted you and your relationships, your finances, your jobs, your children, your disappointments, your pain, your heartache, your loss, your questions, your regrets, your fears, your desires, your hopes, your dreams, your illness and your needs all to the Father for His help and grace in your time of need. And then I laid them all at the foot of the Cross.
I am so thankful for the Cross, a level place where we can be real with each other. I am so thankful for this blog today, where you have been so real with one another. I have loved hearing that you are praying for each other and I hope that we will all continue. Prayer is the most powerful and personal gift we can give. And we all need it so much right now.
I’ll be back tomorrow with some thoughts on ways we can fail forward in specific areas. And I’ll address some of the recurring thoughts and questions from today’s comments.
Good night friends!
Renee
A Failing Forward Mother….that’s who I see myself as…Each time adversity comes my way with regards to my daughter I lose all hope and dismiss all of the things I have put in place to help her. There are times…like today that I feel like my back is up against the wall…and that the world is against me and her…don’t they understand that raising a child on your own…there is only so much one can do. maybe my feeling of failures come because I am not walking in Faith or spending time with God…my prayer life is non-existent…the last year or two I have been struggling spiritually and I need to find my way back to God…to make time for him and pray…your devotion spoke to my heart…Your prayers are appreciated…
Hello Renee,
I read your devotional today on my Encouragement for Today and I must say that it is what I needed to read. Right now I am facing so many different challenges.
1) I have just been diagnosed with Psuedo Tumor Cerebri. Which is when your body produces too much Cerebral spinal fluid and you have a lot of pressure to your brain which causes headaches and damage to your optic nerve. It can be contolled with medicine and weight loss.
2) I am being taken to court next week by my exhusband who wants to assume domilicary parental rights and what hurts the most is that my 14 and 11 year old want to live with him. I was remarried 4 years ago and my husband and I have devoted our lives to Christ and don’t believe that we should conform to the thoughts of what the world thinks is right so our children like us. This is where the discontent comes into play with the preference of my children. I remind myself that I am doing what is right and that as a believer I will have to suffer for standing up for what I know is right.
3) We are in the process of having our home being forclosed on. We have made a huge attempt to satisfy the terms of our home loan and have not been successful. We are blessed with a home that we will be able to “rent to own” from a great friend of ours.
With all of this on my plate, I have to continue to remind myself that even if I allowed my weight to creep up on me and now am faced with medical issues, even if I have tried my best to do what I thought was in the best interest of my kids and now I may be faced with losing time them and even if we paid as much as we could on our home and are losing it, I know that this is in His plan and that there is far more for me to learn than I can ever try to understand right now.
So thanks for this devotional.
Tightly In His Grip,
Jamie Kiger
[email protected]
Hey Renee,
Thanks for the encouragement. That really hit home today. Just last night I was lying in bed thinking about what a failure I feel that I am in all areas of my life…work, marriage, parenting, housekeeping, etc. I tend to compare myself with others or maybe to unrealistic ideals and see how I don't measure up. There never seems to be enough time. And I bounce back and forth between feeling unworthy or feeling like I deserve a break. Now I think I'm just rambling. Anyway, I often battle depressed moods…often caused by fatigue. And sometimes pray that I could die. I don't want to live my life as a failure. And I know that I am truly blessed–so many others have it way worse than I do. I just let things…little, everyday annoyances, etc. add up & get to me. So I appreciated your devotion. I definitely need some balance in my life. Look forward to more from you tomorrow.
Cheryl
[email protected]
I have not left a comment before, but this is exactly what I needed to hear. I don’t have time to go into detail here, but a few areas I need to work on are organizing things in my house and eating healthy food.
[email protected]
Hi!
I so need to put my construction cones up this week. I am not very good with people who are taller than me (that’s one reason I’m currently teaching preschool!) but lately there have been some issues with miscommunications and misunderstandings and things like the issue you saw at the end of our Saturday conference. I’m not really sure what I can do about it, but I do wish I could learn whatever it is that God wants me to learn! I’m also really enjoying learning more about how to match up my personality and likes with the things that God calls us to do. I want to learn more about those things so I can be better there and maybe fail less often with the tall people.
[email protected]
Love the post. I really need to start balancing my commitments. I have a need to say yes to too much and then get irritated and grouchy when I have no time for myself.
Hey Renee~
Thank you for sharing. A friend stopped by this morning and we were talking about this very thing! It is so hard to trust God with our failures and believe that He really will use all things for good. Especially since we are perfectionist.
I told my friend that if we wait to do His work until we are perfect we will never get His work done. I appreciate that you shared this and confirmed what the Lord was speaking to our hearts today.
I have been observing Him work through you and I have not seen you fail once. Might happen but many don’t notice, they just see Jesus shining through you!
If you check out my blog you will see one of my “failing forward” moments.
I am amazed at the timing of these devotions for my life. It is rare that they don’t speak to me right where I am as if I was the only one in the world receiving them. How amazing is that?
Hope all is well!
Blessings,
Cheri
Hello Renee;
My very good friend sent me your devotional "Failing Forward", and said that hopefully it would inspire me. Lately I have been so emotional, and when I read your devotional the tears started to roll, and I could'nt stop. I do feel like such a failure right now. I am currently unemployed and the stress and pressures of this situation has placed my marriage in even a greater strugle. I had a friend ask me yesterday, that if I had Jesus standing in front of me, and he asked what are the three things I would ask of him? I replied 1.To make my marriage wonderful and whole again (to know for certain that I am my husbands everything). You see, my husband and I have been distant from one another lately, and I can see & feel the dissapointment in his demeanor about my unemployment, & that hurts tremendously! 2. to find a GOOD job that I can keep and excel at. It is amazing how the loss of a job can make you feel worthless,useless & a failure. Your words hit the spot when the devotional read that sometimes you feel like giving up on your self. I have thought that countless times, and totaly undeserving. 3.Spiritual growth; I know I have a long ways to go in my knowledge of Jesus. My husband and I have not attended church since 2007 (we don't belong to any currently). I have tried going by my self, but I continue to fail in that regard. I have started recently by taking small steps and reading 2 daily devotionals, and hope that each day something will apply to my current life and help me to learn, grow, and apply it.
So, since you have offered to pray for me, I am humbly asking for your prayers for the above mentioned issues, because certainly I can use all the help I can get right now. I just need to feel peace and comfort to my acheing heart. I am so vulnerable right now and my husband is away from home visiting his family in Florida for the next 5 days,his mom has been strugling with breast cancer and undergoing chemo. Since I know God can do anything, I hope that he will work in my husband's heart & mind and produce a miracle! to bring him back as renewed man passionate about our marriage and the family that we have. His mom also needs all the prayers possible for healing from this terrible disease.
Thank you for rendering your time to devote to so many of us that are in distress right now. May God bless you for all that you are doing.
Sincerely,
M.Allen