Have you ever gotten that awful pit-in-your-stomach feeling after finding out you let someone down?
It felt like the wind had been knocked out of me as I read through an email from a client, sent to my manager and forwarded to me, describing how I had let some details fall through the cracks on a project.
A horrible sense of discouragement and embarrassment moved in for the kill.
In the past, I would have welcomed my uninvited critical thoughts to stay a while, resigned to the fact that I must be unable to do anything right!
But not this time; too many hurtful experiences had taught me to recognize failure as an opportune time for my opponent, the devil, to devour me with feelings of inadequacy and shame. This enemy is bent on making me believe that when my best isn’t good enough, I’m not good enough.
Fortunately, times of pain have also included hours of poring over God’s promises, gathering wisdom to deal with this unwelcome intruder. I have learned to be alert to the devil’s schemes and ready to stand against them. In 1 Peter 5:8-9, Peter tells us how:
“Keep your mind clear, and be alert. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion as he looks for someone to devour. Be firm in the faith and resist him, knowing that other believers throughout the world are going through the same kind of suffering” (1 Peter 5:8-9).
After reading the email and letting my thoughts run wild for a few minutes, I knew I had to clear my mind. I asked the Holy Spirit to help me un-clutter my thoughts with the clarity of truth from logistical, circumstantial and spiritual points of view….
Read the rest of this story and what happened in my Encouragement for Today on the Proverbs 31 Ministries blog. But BEFORE YOU go…
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Happy Fall Ya’ll!
This was such a good and practical article. Not only did it help remind me that I am ultimately responsible to God for doing my best. It gave practical advice as to what to do in those times when I don’t measure up. Forgive myself, make honest evaluations, seek God’s face, and then make the appropriate adjustments so that I can not only serve God, but others as well.
I love how you talked about how you had a tendency to let negative thoughts linger for too long. I can so relate to that. I can play a bad parenting decision over and over in my head until I convince myself that I have no right raising children. And like you, as I spent more and more time in God’s word, I began to see how my thoughts were more consistent with the enemy’s than with God’s word. I still struggle, but now I can more easily discern between satan’s condemnation and the Lord’s gracious correction.
As a self-confessed perfectionist (and also lately Satan has been reminding me of my “shortcomings” in the past tempting me to have that “not good enough” feeling again), I am reminded by today’s devotional to resist the whispers of the enemy and rest in God’s love and grace. The spiritual truths you shared comfort and enlighten me…that these feelings of guilt and not being good enough are just the devil’s accusations, not what I first thought as conviction from the Holy Spirit. How consoling to know that God’s standard is not that of man. How refreshing to be reminded of the fact that God looks at our motives and intentions (faithfulness) rather on the “success” of our actions (fruitfulness). Thank you, Father God! Thank you, Jesus!
Proverbs deeply touches my heart and ministers to me. THANK YOU for your servanthood to Jesus and for sharing your wisdom/life story. GOD BLESS!!!!!!
That gut-wrenching feeling in the pit of your stomach is familiar to me. But, thank God, so is the belief that I can learn from my mistakes and press on and that fear does not have the final say. The book A CONFIDENT HEART How to Stop Doubting Yourself & Live in the Security of God’s Promises by Renee Swope has made such a difference in my life. I have always been a fearful person. Until I learned to fail forward, and embrace my God-given purpose, passions, and personality and have become determined to become the person God intends for me to be. It is still a daily decision, and I sometimes fail. But by the grace of God, I am “becoming!”
God has given me a passion for learning and ministering through sign language. I am learning, but am basically still a new student of the language. This week, I signed a couple of songs for a worship service. I didn’t do as well as I wanted, and started to feel like a failure, then realized that I can use the experience to press on and use it to push me forward. I am living and moving into my dream.
Thank you Renee Swope for being transparent enough to write your story and share your experiences. They are a treasure to me, and I look forward to reading and growing with you in the future.
Loved this. I often struggle as most of us with not measuring up to the gal the neighbor the co-worker. Women can be so competitive and I struggle to fit in. But I love the giveaways so I’m in.
I seem to set goals as to what I think God wants me to do and I always fail to achieve them. I start to dwell on how disappointed God must be in me. The devil is there to whisper in my ear, “Karen, how can God love you when you keep doing these things that you know aren’t good for you?” Sometimes I start to believe his lies, and then I remember that there is nothing good in me that makes be “worthy” of salvation, but God sees what I can become when I give Him control of my life. He is Love, His love never changes, no matter what I do or how many times I disappoint Him. He is so wonderful!
I felt God was ‘nudging’ me to step into being a back-up for a leader of a woman’s ministry in our church. She was excited and the ladies seemed to receive me well. As they shared their stories of abuse, my eyes would fill with tears for them & the pain they went through yet rejoice at how God had rescued & redeemed them. After several weeks, the leader asked if we could get together. I told my husband “I’m about to be fired”; “why would you think that?” Just a ‘gut’ feeling, or maybe God preparing me. When the leader & I got together, she could hardly make eye contact and we were just ‘chattering’; finally, I said, smiling, ‘you’re going to fire me aren’t you?’ She laughed and asked why I would ask that; told her it was okay, God had put me into that place for a reason & I was ok with whatever – just wanted what was best for the ladies. “Yes, there’ve been comments made that you cry too much and you’ve never had their struggles so how could you understand what they’re going through?” (don’t remember much else of the ‘why’). Ouch! In that moment, I was okay to be ‘relieved’ of the responsibility. Later, the enemy used it against me, trying to keep me from stepping into any other opportunities – ‘you’re not enough, you don’t know enough, not good enough’ etc. What he intended for evil, God truly meant for good. I’ve been able to continue to love these ladies as God allows our paths to cross & He has opened so many other doors! I am so thankful for God’s grace and that we are overcomers in Him!
Thank you so much for this….as a full-time working mom I strive to “have it all together”. But sometimes that just isn’t going to happen, we are human and we make mistakes. Trying to learn from them and trying to be better organized shows that you did not intend to let things fall through the cracks but you are willing and desire to make things right.
I have a problem with trying to be perfect. It gets worse the older I get and I expect my children to do the same. Thank you for reminding me that whatever the outcome of what we do, if we try our best, it is good enough for God. We shouldn’t let human expectations rule our lives, but God’s expectations!
I just recently had a friend tell me that she could never work her way into my clique! I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I am passionate about eliminating the clique and the friends I would deem closest to me often fault me for not spending enough exclusive time with them. It was too much confusion. It broke me. I asked God to help me see clearly and He brought to mind several moment I had invited this friend into my life and into my “clique”. I didn’t need to bring that to her attention (I had already addressed one that came to mind immediately) but I needed it for my own peace of mind. It also just confirmed that God is to be my best friend and is helping me refocus my efforts on my relationship with Him. I truly cannot please humans. It was your Confident Heart that helped remind me that God is the one who will not disappoint… I am human and I will disappoint others. Thanks for your ministry!
This devotion was what I needed today. I recently left a job (career) after more than 17 years and what you described is how I felt. Unfortunately, I did not have the wisdom to look at the situation as you described here. I am seeking God’s help to move past the hurt of condemnation and disappointment. And trusting His plan because He knew then where I would end up. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for you daily thoughts! They always seem to hit home some way.
This is just what I needed today!!! So often in the midst of a struggle God uses these devotionals to encourage my heart. Isn’t He amazing?! I find myself moving toward a crossroads after obtaing my degree at 35years old. I have been feeling overwhelmed with “what’s next”. Good just reminded me to do my best. If I do the work God will show up. That is a life lesson I learned from a previous devotional & have clung to. Thank you for letting the Lord use you.
Slowly learning to preform for my audience of One! It’s hard to focus and not be distracted. Thank you for your honesty!
Es grandioso poder caminar con Dios que es tan poderoso y amoroso en todo momento de mi vida es mi guía perpetuo me agarro de su mano fuerte y no me suelto me da la gran fuerza de un búfalo para seguir con gran alegría,fuerza y animo ante cualquier circunstancia de mi vida.Gracias a Dios voy adelante,siempre,adelante. Saludos desde Oaxaca de Juarez,Oax. México. Dios le cuide.
It’s always a joy as well as informative to read your posts. Thanks
If I was always at “my best”, maybe life wouldn’t be so difficult. With one daughter at college and the other one depressed/lonely/grieving her sister’s absence (and not going to school after I leave for my school), I have not been at my best lately, and I have felt like such a bad mother. I know that I also need to unclutter my thoughts and pray…
I have had lots of hurtful things happen with friendships this year and it is hard to want to invest in peoples lives and not just withdrawal. I love what you wrote about ” can feel offended, but I don’t have to be offended.
I can feel insecure, but I don’t have to act insecure.
I can feel angry, but I don’t have to respond in anger.”
Such a great reminder for me.
Thank you for all you do.
Thank you for this insight-perfect timing for me!! Everyday I feel inadequate, and Satan magnifies it for me by making me feel useless and unforgiven. A wonderful idea-to see us as God sees us! Forgiven! Equipped! LOVED!!!
Thank you for this insight-perfect timing for me!! Everyday I feel inadequate, and Saran magnifies it for me by making me feel useless and unforgiven. A wonderful idea-to see us as God sees us! Forgiven! Equipped! LOVED!!!
The struggles we place ourselves in are not thT ones He calls us to. Your devotions and both books teach me time and time again, that I need to go to Him and trust Him and I can rest assured that I am good in His sight and strong enough to push through.
Thank you for the inspiration and your courage.
It is so easy to second-guess myself, especially in my job. Thank you for this daily devotional. It really hit home with me. I try to turn all my problems over to God and ask Him to give me the peace and confidence to do the best I can.
I would love to win this “bundle”.
My take away from this devotional is asking God to clear my thoughts of what others think or feel about me. Asking for that peace within beyond anyone’s understanding, asking the Holy Spirit for the strength I need to stop beating myself up trying to please everybody. I’ve come realize thought guidance and the Word of God and prayer, that I’m good!!! Thank You so much for this insight.
I often feel my best is not good enough, but I offer it to HIM and pray He’ll use it for His glory!!
Thank you for this timely message. It spoke volumes to my heart, I’ve been struggling a lot lately with attacks from the devil. These attacks have come through the one thing I love most, my daughter. I am dealing with the enemy constantly. God bless!
This is funny that I read this today. Last night during dinner at church I asked another mother what her children thought about Sunday school. My husband and I recently took over teaching their class. My husband leads the RA’s on Wednesday night, so he knows some of the kids well. Anyway, this mother told me that her kids said it was ok… it was different..not as much fun as before and that her son held a little resentment towards my husband for something that had happened at camp during the summer. I was stunned. I had no idea there was a problem, no one had said anything to us. Anyway, when we got home I was talking to my husband about it. We were both upset.. thinking our best wasn’t good enough.. that maybe we had made a mistake teaching..maybe God wasn’t calling us to teach… Then today, my husband was reading his Bible and read the verse in 2 Peter and we both realized that we let Satan chew us up and spit us out last night. Our hearts are in the right place, we are being obedient to God, we will look at our lesson and see if there is anyway to change it up a bit and be more fun, but bottom line we want the kids to hear about God and what He has done and is doing in their lives…
God is always there to help us out & He keeps telling me we are perfect in His eyes. So I just need to listen more to Him & not to others.
I enjoyed reading your article, thank you for sharing. I often struggle with thinking I’m never good enough, but after reading this I am good enough in God’s eyes and that’s all that matters.
One day I was feeling discourage about work and I noticed a piece of paper on the floor. it was an old calendar paper from one of those one-a-day rip off calendar devotionals and it was a reminder we do our work for Godand not for man. And no, it wasn’t a current one so I felt it was meant for me to find.
I loved today’s devotional! I often have to remind myself that I can do SOMETHING right! Even if it is just saying I love you to my husband and child! After my last back surgery in April I have often had to look at something I had done and remind myself that I did it to the best of my ability for right now. It may not measure up to what I could have done 8 months ago but that is ok. God loves me just as I am! Even when I or something I do is not “perfect”!
This devotional was EXACTLY what I needed… Oh, how I could relate to the “uninvited critical thoughts… resigned to the fact that I must be unable to do anything right.” Because, YES, “This enemy is bent on making me believe that when my best isn’t good enough, I’m not good enough.”
Those very thoughts were circling around in my head as I began to read this – and the Lord gently reminded me through your words that I was believing lies and needed to look at truth. I love the 3 points of view – and that is now a “tool in my toolbox” for working through these times.
Thank you so much, Renee, for continuing to share your heart with us!!
I think that comparison is something that is truly evil and from Satan. When you compare yourself to others, you will always feel that you come up short in one way or another – we’re just all different with unique experiences. Recognizing that your path is not and should not be the same as others and that it is still beautiful no matter what is really important. Those people you feel you come up short against probably feel the exact same way about YOU, too!
Love this devotional! Thanks for the chance to win! I feel like I mess up a lot and know it but knowing my mistakes helps me realize that I need God daily. I’m in need of a Savior because I’m not perfect. I could never measure up to God’s standards as a sinner. I need His grace daily.
I never felt like or all I do is struggle and question what I did is not the best but this past month was extremely hard and I had to be remminded by a close friend to leave it in Gods hand, to really trust him with my load and rememebred how I have to remember as I walk though and through my best is good enough in God’s eyes even when it’s not good enough in the eyes of others.
I finally let go and was at peace!
Two things I like about your book, Confident Heart, that I’m reading, and the posts are your clever word plays that stay with me (Example – AM and FM) and the surety that the doubting thoughts and negative selfishness are real and that I can be free of them.
I love this verse 1Peter 5:8-9. I always share it with our children, and I go to it so often. We have to be on guard and not give satan a foothold, and not let our thoughts be consumed with his lies. I did the OBS for your book “A Confident Heart” and I am so grateful to you for writing the book, it encouraged me and changed my life. on page 132 you write “He taught me that my failures don’t have to be fatal; if I let them, the can help me become more like Him. In Christ, you are a woman who is becoming all God created you to be.” Thanks to you and my Savior, I continue to grow everyday. Blessings Anna
Such good truths Renee! The enemy is always waiting to pounce on us to ‘tell’ us we are a failure. The quicker we stop our thoughts from ‘running wild’ and believing the lies of the enemy, the quicker we can hear God’s truth speak to our hearts. We have to believe his word that we are God’s ‘masterpiece’, and He has ‘good works’ for us to do (Eph. 2:10). Your book “A Confident Heart” started me and my women’s small group bible study on our journey of believing God’s word, not the enemies lies.
God is always faithful to us!
Bless you as you speak His truth!
This devotion spoke to me because I’m going through a difficult time right now. We just began a new church ministry about a year ago, and a lot of changes have already taken place, both in the church and in our lives. I struggle with change and with understanding how I fit in. My health doesn’t allow me to participate the way I used to, and this makes me feel even worse. I know that I do the best I can and God accepts that, but I still struggle in all of this. Please pray for me. Thank you.
I spent many years feeling inadequate. I had so many “not enough’s” in my life. Not smart enough, not pretty enough, not skiinny enough…. Thank the Lord, I have learned His truths! “I am precious and honored!” “I am strong and courageous!” “I am seen” “I am loved” and oh so many more. I am God’s daughter, He made me perfect. Thank you Renee, Your books and devotionals have helped me SO much to get the “Not enoughs” out of my thought! Bless you 🙂
As a teacher I give my all daily to my students. There are days when my students may be sad when they arrive at school or a parent may have a complaint. This really hurts when I’ve tried my best to make my classroom a fun and inviting learning environment. This devotion is a reminder that I’m not perfect and I cannot control what may be going on in the lives of my students and their parents outside of school. In God’s eyes I am doing my best by loving each and every student, because they all all uniquely made by Him.
I struggle with the comparison trap of thinking I’m not good enough because I’m struggling financially, so I feel not as good as others when I can’t give as generously as I wish I could. I struggle with thinking I’m too slow at completing tasks. I feel not good enough when I compare my home’s cleanliness or space to my friends’ homes. I am learning that God blessed me in unique ways and with my temperament for a purpose. I am learning to try my best, and then to stop the enemy’s lies with God’s truth in Scripture! God has equipped each of us uniquely and according to His greater good! I/we need to live in joy & celebration of being His specially designed daughters!
I appreciate the honesty and transparency of your story. Most of us would never share something like this. Thank you for sharing what most of us experience but won’t admit. There is nothing we can do to embaress ourselves with our Heavenly Father. So good to remember.
God is so faithful to remind me in a song, a devotional or even a whisper when I am feeling I am not capable, worthy or qualified…
Very nice devotional! Sometimes I feel the same way.
I often struggle with trying to be as good as everyone else as being a parent, student, friend. This devotion was a good reminder that I am good enough in God’s eyes and that is all that really matters. As long and I believe in him I am good.
THIS DEVOTION SPOKE TO ME, AS IT REMINDS ME TO FOCUS ON GOD AND HIS LOVE. RECENTLY WE HAD A TRAGEDY IN OUR FAMILY, MY GRANDSONS AGES 4 AND 1 WERE IN A CAR ACCIDENT AND THEY WERE CALLED HOME TO HEAVEN. EVERYTHING IN ME WANTS TO BE ANGRY AND I HAVE TO CONTINUE TO REMIND MYSELF THAT THEY BELONG TO GOD AND ARE BACK HOME. i MISS THEM MORE THEN WORDS CAN SAY.. I WANT THEM BACK HOME WITH MY DAUGHTER SO WE CAN LOVE THEM AND ENJOY EVERY MOMENT WITH THEM. BUT NOW ALL WE HAVE IS THERE MEMORIES. I AM THANK FULL FOR HAVING THEM IN MY LIFE. I MUST REMIND MYSELF THAT WE WILL SEE THEM AGAIN. EVEN THOUGH IT IS A DAILY STRUGGLE RIGHT NOW. THANK YOU RENE FOR SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS AND WISDOM WITH US.
I feel like that a lot with my dad I feel like he’s go these unrealistic expectations of me and if I do what he asks me to do he always comes back with a comment like well you did this but you didn’t do that or you could have done this to along with that. There are a lot of times with him that I don’t feel like my best is good enough and the devil starts putting thoughts in my head like, See I told you your not good enough, You never do anything right, Your never going to measure up. There are so many times I feel like that and I think mainly because my dad always has something negative to say and that in itself can overwhelm any ones heart when someone is always making you feel insignificant and that you never do anything. He does mention things I do that are good but those moments are very, very rare. Sometimes I don’t even think he realizes that those comments are hurtful. I’m just praying God will give me the grace to handle those situations with him. Just because a thought pops in my head doesn’t me I have to think it. 2 Corinthians 10:5 (We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.) [NIV]
I want to start by saying Proverbs 31 ministry and Renee Swope both are very encouraging and I enjoy the posts, blogs, devotions from you guys!! Very Blessed. Secondly I too struggle with never feeling “good enough” yet remember that It’s in HIM that I am. NOT in Me but In HIM!! He is my sufficiency, my strength, my Goel, my friend, my provider and He’s all I need to get through today and any day that Satan wants to steal all that I am in HIM. <3 Thank you again for your posts!!