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“What a [woman] desires is unfailing love …” Proverbs 19:22a (NIV)
I had everything I wanted yet felt empty and confused.
My life was full of relationships and accomplishments I’d worked hard to gain, but none could fill or fulfill me.
Frustrated by my aching emptiness, tears streamed down my face as I thought about the guy I dated through high school and college. Our future plans had crumbled under the pressure of me expecting him to be all I needed.
I had been crazy about him — a little too crazy.
Like the time a friend mentioned my ex-boyfriend was heading to our hometown for the weekend. We worked near each other, so Friday afternoon I parked by his office and waited for him to leave.
We both “happened” to be at the same fast food restaurant, at the same time and bumped into each other. After getting my order, I got in my car and followed behind him, hoping he’d see me, realize he couldn’t live without me and signal to pull over so we could talk.
Seriously, what was I thinking? As you can guess, he never stopped. I was hopeless and humiliated…
A few weeks later, I was taking a walk around my college campus. My eyes drifted to the buildings, dorms and other landmarks of memories. Suddenly my mind filled with a collage of faces, reminding me of my efforts to win the approval of advisors, friends and professors — hoping their affirmation could fill my emptiness.
Although I was graduating soon, had a few great job offers and achieved success in many ways, my heart still felt restless. And I couldn’t help but wonder: Why was all that I had never enough?
A thought rushed through my soul, stringing together two words I had never put next to each other. I sensed God answering me.
Renee, all you have ever wanted is unconditional love.
Unconditional love? I didn’t know there was such a thing. Then God whispered into my soul: You’ll never find the love you long for in anyone or anything but Me. I AM the unconditional love you’re looking for.
The thought of God loving me without any conditions was inconceivable, yet something deep in my soul told me it was true. I’d been looking for love that didn’t have to be earned. Love I didn’t have to fear losing.
Honestly, it was hard to see how God’s love could fill the emptiness in my heart. It took time, but I came to understand that God created me with that need for fulfillment so He could meet it.
Proverbs 19:22a, says, “What a person desires is unfailing love.”
The word “desire” comes from the Hebrew word ta’avah, which means: to greatly long for, deeply desire or crave. Interestingly, unfailing love is mentioned over 30 times in the Bible, and not once is it in reference to a person. It is only attributed to God.
Could it be that God gave us a desire for unfailing love, because He knew it could lead us back to Him?
If today’s post resonated with you, I hope you’ll ENTER TO WIN (This giveaway has ended, but I’d still love to hear from you!)
a copy of my new Confident Heart Devotional. I truly believe the stories and truths in it will change your life {like they have mine}!
Based on honest struggles we all have with comparison, self-doubt, fear of failing, and the life-changing lessons God’s taught me and ten other women, {whose stories are in the book} you will discover how to change the way you feel by changing the way you think – which will transform the way you live!
Expanding on what readers of my first book LOVED most: “When I say … God says …” statements, I’ve written 60 new devotions and new {WISGS} statements to equip you with a new a thought map and a promise – to live in every day!
ENTER TO WIN (This giveaway has ended, but I’d still love to hear from you!)
Share your thoughts in the comments below to WIN one of 5 copies of my A Confident Heart Devotional or a copy of The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition for you or a friend. Be sure to let us know which book you’d like to win!
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I needed this devotion today. I have been struggling my whole life to please everyone and recently I feel like I’m failing miserably. I need to stop looking to people to fulfill my need for love and look to God for that fulfillment. Thank you.
I needed to hear this right now. I just got to work after shoveling snow for two hours. The pity I had for myself was tremendous. As a divorced woman I questioned where is help? Why doesn’t anyone feel I am worth helping? I realize after reading Renee’s Encouragement for Today, that I am looking for help from everyone else instead of putting my focus on where it should be. GOD. Thank you for the timely lesson!
Shely, I wish I was there to shovel that snow with you!! Your longing is real and at the core of every woman – we want to be taken care of and protected. If Jesus were still here in flesh and blood, He’d be right there shoveling with you :)Praying He would be your very present Help today!!
In life, God not only gives me unconditional love, but he sent me my soul mate 15 years ago after two failed marriages and I had given up on love, especially after one abusive mate. In death, I may or may not be remembered here on Earth, but my Heavenly Father’s unconditional love continues. How magnificent is that?! Thank you, God. And, Renee, thank YOU for sharing with all of us.
Amen. Such a sweet truth.
I relate to this so much. After a struggle with addiction and a recent divorce, I realized I was looking everywhere except to God to love and fill me. God just keeps speaking to me that if my focus is on him then I can be the woman, mom, friend and companion that he would have me to be regardless of the situation. And what a relief.
I wasn’t going to read this today but the Holy Spirit compelled me to open it. I am currently separated from my husband of 19 years who left our home 18 months ago. God has been using all types of messages and situations to help me understand that HE is the true source of unconditional love and that only through my complete surrender to Him will ever feel at peace with myself and the life He has given me. It is reaffirming to know that I am not alone in my struggles to accept God’s amazing love for me and to stop looking for that all encompassing love from another human being. Thank you for providing further insight that I needed to continue on my journey of healing and restoration through my Lord and Savior. God bless you and continue sharing the insights as you are led by His Holy Spirit.
I’d love to win this book.
I would Love to receive a copy of the Confident Heart Devotional:)
It would be an awesome source to help not only me but my children and husband too!
Have a Wonderful & Blessed day!!!
Smiles!
Tammy Dobson
Thank you Renee for this insightful devotion today! It really resonated with me. I am going through a tough time as my marriage is ending. I have recently gone back to work as a nail tech and it has been slow because I am starting over w/clientele. I realize @ times I am basing my self worth on lack of business. I keep thinking if I get busy and start making money it will be better. In reading what you said today helped me remember God loves me unconditionally and I can rest in the fact that He works all things together for good for those who love Him !!!
Like Louise, agree it is an on going process. As a 70+ woman, thought long ago all the insecurities would be put to rest, yet on This New day, I need to rest in Him, and ESPECIALLY at the end of the day will find that more so. Thanks for encouraging thoughts. Either book is fine.
I’ve been struck anew at the depth of God’s unconditional love in the last few weeks as I watch our newly adopted son try to “earn” our love. If I pause and reflect I realize that I am much like our Benjamin, trying to earn the love of a God who loves me unconditionally.
I would love to win the devotional!
Thank you for sharing your story. I feel like God talked to me through you today. I would love the confident heart devotional.
I enjoyed your devotional this morning so much. I would love to win The Confident Heart Devotional book. Your talent is God given and has helped many women including me.
For the past year my marriage has grown so much, simply from learning to understand the truth that my husband, no matter how much love he gives, how many things he does for me, or how much romance and passion we have in our marriage, can never fill those empty places in my life. Only God can. I have learned how unfair it is of me to even want my husband to try to meet these unrealistic expectations. It’s important to let God be God, and allow Him the places in my heart that belong to Him.
I got up this morning and ask God to speak to my heart. I read your devotional this morning and started crying because I have always my whole life was longing for someone to love me unconditional. . God spoke to my heart through your devotional that He Loves Me Unconditional. THANK YOU!! I would love a copy of your book A Confident Heart !
I would love a copy of A Confident Heart! This post was times perfectly for me. Being a wife and mom, I often seek their approval and try my best to make them love me. I know they do but they are not responsible for my happiness. I have been learning how to work hard for God’s glory and His approval. Not theirs.
Dear Renee,
I read your Encouragement for the day through Biblegateway. I find it too be uplifting and enlightening. I have been a Christian since I was 15 years old and God stopped me from committing suicide. I had felt unloved and the emotional pain became physical pain and was unbearable. I literally walked around for hours in the wee morning hours trying to figure out how to end it all when I came upon a 24 hour chapel. No one was there. I cried out from the altar, God if you are real take my life I can’t stand it anymore. For the first time ever that I had heard His voice, and felt HIs presence – He said He loved me – No grand list of Scripture or monologue. Just I love you, but with that, for the first time in my life I felt unconditional love. I knew that God loved ME! I wish to say that things got better & circumstances changed, they did not for awhile. I left home searching for fulfillment, but I never doubted God loved me. But I didn’t know what that meant. I grew up, met a Christian man who started me on my journey learning about God. I was a sponge. We got married, had three children. I remembered from whence I came and swore my children would not grow up ignorant of of God. I became dogmatic, sheltering my kids from the harsh world, submerging them into Gods Word not just reading it to them but pushing them into everything with God hanging over their heads. I now have 3 grown children who don’t truly know God’s unconditional love because they know all the rules, they know head knowledge of who God is, they haven’t found that unconditional love. My heart knows that God promised me that my children will one day serve Him and have that relationship with Him and I stand daily on that promise. God’s love became conditional to me, You must do this in order to please Him. That is what religion has done to Christianity. I am pleased to share I have learned unconditional love, I receive and accept it daily. God has lead me to start a nonprofit organization that does just that. People who are struggling come to us, we help take care of basic needs and share the love of God with them. We are not a shelter though we partner with shelters, we are not a food bank though we partner with food banks, we do help with clothing, furniture, rent/utility assistance, job search, preparing for job interviews, finding medical/mental health, etc. Whatever need they present with we assist with direct or indirect resources. But the most important thing we do is listen, nonjudgmental, love on them, being the hands and feet of Jesus. Sharing His love and His Word as we attend to their needs. My children see a different mother. One that shares the love of Jesus with them, not hit them over the head with it. Allows them to be who they are, knowing that it is the Holy Spirits job to bring them to understanding of who God is. My job is to just love them. We are having great conversations, and I as so grateful to God for the time now. But my middle son is one of those who has a lot head knowledge, but no application. He has turned away from God because no matter how hard he tried it seemed that nothing ever went right, so he has taken a self-destructive path. He has had multiple relationships and has several children with different women that he tried to “save.” Recently, our conversations has been good, sharing about different Scriptures and I am deep into studies. I would love to receive the “5 Love Languages for Singles” to give to him, if it is at all possible. He longs for a relationship where he can have a wife and children. He doesn’t understand that what he needs only God can fill. I know God will help me get one, if not from you, He will make a way. 🙂 Have a beautiful blessed day in the Lord! Thank you for letting me share with you. Debbie
Confidence is something I’ve struggled with for a while now. I’ve always wondered, “How can someone, such as myself, love God with their whole heart and yet, still feel empty?” After reading the daily devotions from your Proverbs 31 Ministries, I’m beginning to see that we all struggle with “belonging.” We seek opportunities that we believe will fulfill our needs and desires, but they are fleeting at each attempt.
I learned how to become strong and independent as a young girl. Through an unexpected twist in my life, I had to keep moving, but really my heart was crying out. I learned how to numb myself to all the twists and turns that knocked at my door. I became good at covering things up. What I was not good at, was allowing Jesus to soothe my worries and fears about who I was inside. I created a wall of self-criticisms that tore me apart at every chance, but I never stopped longing for Him. I always knew He was waiting to embrace me.
It refreshes my heart to know that I no longer have to allow my mind to hold me captive! God accepts who I am and only asks that I embrace Him with my whole being. We each have our own struggles, but it does not have to destroy us. We can choose to accept ourselves for who we are and allow His grace to cover us in all areas that we fear!
I would really love to read your “A Confident Heart Devotional!” I’ve heard about it on the radio and have many times wanted to experience it!
Thank you for what you shared Jamie about with God we don’t have to allow our thoughts to hold us captive or let our struggles destroy us! I am going to write that down!
I read the excerpt from Proverbs 31 Ministries and it truly touched my heart. This would be an awesome book to read to strengthen my own heart! Thank you so much for such a simple yet powerful eye opener!
Like you, I am seeking that unconditional “forever” love, as I call it. I am learning to be satisfied with my life and know that Go is available to fill the void. It’s hard, and it’s a daily struggle, but I will get there. I’ve had dreams of rekindling a love with an old flame, but I am constantly reminded that the relationship didn’t work for a reason. I’m also learning to love my self, because if I don’t, no one else can, or will! Many people have recommended reading the 5 love languages. I have that on my to do list. I would love to win it.
Would love this to help with daily struggles, thank you