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“What a [woman] desires is unfailing love …” Proverbs 19:22a (NIV)
I had everything I wanted yet felt empty and confused.
My life was full of relationships and accomplishments I’d worked hard to gain, but none could fill or fulfill me.
Frustrated by my aching emptiness, tears streamed down my face as I thought about the guy I dated through high school and college. Our future plans had crumbled under the pressure of me expecting him to be all I needed.
I had been crazy about him — a little too crazy.
Like the time a friend mentioned my ex-boyfriend was heading to our hometown for the weekend. We worked near each other, so Friday afternoon I parked by his office and waited for him to leave.
We both “happened” to be at the same fast food restaurant, at the same time and bumped into each other. After getting my order, I got in my car and followed behind him, hoping he’d see me, realize he couldn’t live without me and signal to pull over so we could talk.
Seriously, what was I thinking? As you can guess, he never stopped. I was hopeless and humiliated…
A few weeks later, I was taking a walk around my college campus. My eyes drifted to the buildings, dorms and other landmarks of memories. Suddenly my mind filled with a collage of faces, reminding me of my efforts to win the approval of advisors, friends and professors — hoping their affirmation could fill my emptiness.
Although I was graduating soon, had a few great job offers and achieved success in many ways, my heart still felt restless. And I couldn’t help but wonder: Why was all that I had never enough?
A thought rushed through my soul, stringing together two words I had never put next to each other. I sensed God answering me.
Renee, all you have ever wanted is unconditional love.
Unconditional love? I didn’t know there was such a thing. Then God whispered into my soul: You’ll never find the love you long for in anyone or anything but Me. I AM the unconditional love you’re looking for.
The thought of God loving me without any conditions was inconceivable, yet something deep in my soul told me it was true. I’d been looking for love that didn’t have to be earned. Love I didn’t have to fear losing.
Honestly, it was hard to see how God’s love could fill the emptiness in my heart. It took time, but I came to understand that God created me with that need for fulfillment so He could meet it.
Proverbs 19:22a, says, “What a person desires is unfailing love.”
The word “desire” comes from the Hebrew word ta’avah, which means: to greatly long for, deeply desire or crave. Interestingly, unfailing love is mentioned over 30 times in the Bible, and not once is it in reference to a person. It is only attributed to God.
Could it be that God gave us a desire for unfailing love, because He knew it could lead us back to Him?
If today’s post resonated with you, I hope you’ll ENTER TO WIN (This giveaway has ended, but I’d still love to hear from you!)
a copy of my new Confident Heart Devotional. I truly believe the stories and truths in it will change your life {like they have mine}!
Based on honest struggles we all have with comparison, self-doubt, fear of failing, and the life-changing lessons God’s taught me and ten other women, {whose stories are in the book} you will discover how to change the way you feel by changing the way you think – which will transform the way you live!
Expanding on what readers of my first book LOVED most: “When I say … God says …” statements, I’ve written 60 new devotions and new {WISGS} statements to equip you with a new a thought map and a promise – to live in every day!
ENTER TO WIN (This giveaway has ended, but I’d still love to hear from you!)
Share your thoughts in the comments below to WIN one of 5 copies of my A Confident Heart Devotional or a copy of The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition for you or a friend. Be sure to let us know which book you’d like to win!
I, too, had looked to others to fill the spot in my heart that was empty. I’d been a believer since I was 6 years old, yet there were times when the deepest part of my heart was still aching for something, someone, who would love me as me and not want me to be someone else. Even into my thirties I still did not trust that God was who I was looking for and that he had made me as me ON PURPOSE. It was ok to be me and not everyone else. It has been a great journey these past few years as I’ve come to give back to God the deepest parts of my heart, one piece at a time. He has been proving to me that he can be trusted. He will not leave, not matter what I do. He will always love me, even when I am insecure or angry for the wrong reasons. It’s been life-changing. I not longer cling to my husband for fear that he will leave. Now I rest in the fact that GOD will never leave. He is now my forever love.
I would love the Love Languages for singles book. I have many single friends and relatives I’d love to encourage in their journey. 🙂
I loved the devotional on praying for boys. Boys are often overlooked because we feel they are not the sensitive type, but the strong silent type. However, as future leaders, and even future husbands, they need our prayers all the more!
My grandchild Matthew is my gentle soul. I pray for him all the time. Now with this article I will be praying all the more for him and using scripture indicated in Thessalonians.
Also my son is now 43 and he desperately needs to be covered in this prayer as well.
Look forward to an article on praying for girls but in the meantime praying for all my grandchildren and children. Thank you! God Bless you!
I pray for my husband, along with my 14 month old grandson, my brother, and sons, husbands, and grandsons of friends.
Thank you for this opportunity. I am currently working on the CONFIDENT HEART DEVOTIONAL. It is so very good. If my name is chosen, I would like the devotional to give to my daughter. 🙂 God bless you!
YOung love is SO not really love .. We all have those infatuations and I tell my girls, don’t fall too quickly! HIgh School is a soap opera .. trapped in a little world only paying attention to what’s going on around them at that time and place .. There are so many people out there! Experience the world and let God guide you to who is right for you .. He has intended special men for my girls and I pray for those men daily ..
Thanks for that reminder. I would love your devotional!
Hi Renee thanks for all you do. I never thought I was a person with a confident problem until I read your devotional this morning. trying to manipulate the situation so this guy can see what he may be missiong out on sounds all to familar. I want my confidence to be in Christ whether I’m single or not and my confidence based on Christ aloneI hope to win one of your devotionals
This has hit me like a brick wall. I have had this realization of how much he loves me and it is just overwhelming. He is showing me through others in my life. His AMAZING GRACE!
I just finished reading and doing the P31 OBS for A Confident Heart. This us an area I struggle with and would love to win the devotional. The book has had a big impact in my life.
Love the daily devotionals that you and the others put up for us. This one for feb. 5, really hit home to me. Keep them coming. Thank you for all the encouragement.
Gloria
I know He loves me but I have trouble living it. Doubt, negative thinking creeps in, depression overwhelms, and I bounce back and forth from doing ok to being hit by trial and sinking Way down and being discouraged rather then walking and believing truth.
wow, a lot of people search for unconditional love. I know my husband can’t give it, but yet I expect him to understand me. I only get the opposite, I think I have to give it, but really I can’t either. So, I guess all we can do is try the best we can, thanks for your help,and mostly God’s. Lisa
My whole life I have searched for this love, my heart has been broken and is aching to be filled. I have lost two babies with my husband and both times I trusted in God for the health of those babies and to protect them. Then God took them to heaven. I often wonder why, why did he take my babies, why did he take my dad, why have I had a rough life with all sorts of bad things happen. I feel like I have been constintly attacked by the Devil my whole life and all I have ever wanted was a little peace, and Gods will for my life and our children’s life. I also pray all the time to to hear from God for direction in life and I feel so alone. My husband has been deployed now for 11 months and I am searching for God and needing his love and guidance. This book sounds perfect for where I am at in my life. I would love a copy of this book, I feel like this book can reach so many people believers and non believers. Can’t wait to read it. God blessed you as a writer so you could reach out into the darkness and bring people close to him. What a wonderful gift to have!
I can so relate to Renee’s need and endless search for unconditional love. I’ve always felt like I just don’t quite measure up to anyone’s standards, my own, my husband’s, my family’s. My rational mind tells me that’s just not true, that I AM loved and AM approved of…but I just don’t FEEL that way about myself. God’s Word tells me “I’m accepted in the Beloved”….I hear and understand that, but my feelings don’t always match up to the truth. That’s where my faith comes in…I walk by faith that that’s truth, whether my feelings are in agreement or not. I would so enjoy Renee’s devotional. Thank you for sharing your life and Lord with me.
I need to read a Confident heart!! I’ve downloaded the devotional, but would like to read the book first. I have not read Love Languages yet either and would love to have the opportunity. Thank-you!
I thank GOD everyday for His unconditional and unfailing love. I can’t help but think of my daughter, along with many other young women, when I read this. They search for someone that will give them only what GOD can give them. I would love to win this book to give to my daughter.
Thanks for the reminder that God loves me no matter what. He is there to hold me when I fall and love me through the pain. He will always be there no matter what is happening in my life.
It’s so good to be reminded that the part of us that longs for and needs that unconditional love, can only be met by God because He designed us that way. Too often I desire/expect others to meet that need. I’ve got to get my focus and expectations in order. Thanks for the reminder.
Thank you so much for your story. I’m struggling with this right now. I lived for so long looking to my husband to fulfill all of my needs and in the process pushed him away. We have experienced infidelity in our marriage and are right now he is struggling with forgiveness. I know that God has a plan for us and our marriage, but my flesh makes it difficult to give everything to God and let him work out all of the hard things that were already taken care of on the cross. I want to have that deep relationship with God that supplies all my wants and needs and changes me from the inside out and in turn opens my husband eyes to the possibility of our marriage working. I think your devotional would be perfect as I need help and direction to lead me closer to God. Thank you again for your blog today.
I have been in places and situations where I have been desperately looking for love and approval. I grew up feeling I was never giving enough, in my past relationships I gave up everything to prove my love and hope I’d get some back. I have known about God’s unfailing and unconditional love but with the thought in the back of my mind that I’m not enough to deserve it. Your post today helped me realize that He is all I need, and that He calls me into His loving arms to tell me that He loves me no matter what.
Your story is similar to mine. I’ve sought relationships and put them up as idols which will make you crazy!!! I even put my marriage as an idol with expectations my husband couldn’t reach. He didn’t know my love language and I couldn’t ‘fix’ him. I’ve been learning through my divorce that I can’t control or fix things, only God can do that!!
Would love The Five Love Languages!
Wow, I finished A confident heart this week. Great reading and study. Currently working thru made to crave bible study. This book gives me scripture were I need to fill my empty spaces. I would love to win the devotional!
Being a college student, it is hard to remember this. I really needed to read this today! Thank you!
I am so excited that you have written a devotional the coincides with your book A Confident Heart. I am currently writing a book about the abuse I have endured in my life and how God has brought me through even when I was unaware of His love; He never left my side. I read your book last year and have liked you on FB so that I get your daily posts which often lift me up when I am feeling down about my life. I became a Christian several years ago and have had a hunger for God’s word but like many because of what I have been through have been unable to believe, truly believe that God loves me scars and all. I have a very abusive past and a life that Jerry Springer would be shocked to believe is true. Your book brought me great comfort. I have often told myself to take it off the shelf and re-read it so that I can feel that closeness again. I believe you devotional will be a great daily resource for those women who have suffered so much but may not know God’s unconditional love or where to look in the bible for the comfort they may need that particular day. God’s word is healing. Thank you for sharing your heart!
Would love to win the confident Heart… so I can pass along the love. Leading a study on praying and confidence in Him is what we all need. Thanks for your insites!
Renee, thank you times a million for your insight. This rocked me and helped me understand God’s unconditional love in a way I’ve never realized before. I would love to read more in your devotional!
I love this devotion for today! i struggle with this feeling of not enough all the time. From parents and now a spouse. while i was reading your message I asked myself how would i really learn how to let God be enough and then i saw your Confident Heart Devotional!!! I would love to win a copy!! Thank You!!
I would love the devotional book. We all need to be reinforced in our confidence in Jesus, who loves us all so deeply.
My first online bible study was the confident heart study back in October. It has completely changed my life!! So much so that I bought each of my friends a copy for Christmas and tell every girl to get this book!! I would love to have a daily devotional!! Love this book and so blessed to have had the opportunity to experience so much greatness!!
Thank you for your story, my story is different but the same in so many ways!! I pray God continued to transform and heal me. I am single so would love a copy of the five love languages!
I would love a copy of the Confident Heart devotional. I have been working on finding my identity in Christ.
I just got out of a 7 1/2 year relationship with a non-christian who was very manipulating. He said he was a Christian when we first started dating. We even went to church in the beginning. I fell in love with him. He took take me on lots of trips and paid for everything. He bought me clothes and all kinds of things. It seemed that he was all about me but it really was all about him and what he wanted. He started asking me to go places and do things I had no business doing as a Christian. He would manipulate me to get what he wanted. I followed him down a path that was far away from God and what He wants for me. I even moved in with him on the promise of marriage down the road. For a long time I couldn’t see how he controlled me but something inside of me kept telling me something was wrong. It was the spirit of God calling me back to Him. I started going to church again because I knew I didn’t have the strength to get away from my boyfriend on my own. He even started coming to church with me but I kept getting to convicted that I needed to make things right and be obedient to God so I literally packed up my stuff and sneaked out. I am still struggling greatly. My loving Christian daughter sent my an email about The Things We Do For Love. What a blessing to me. I need to be in the center of God’s unconditional love and hope to win a copy of ‘A Confident Heart’. Thanks!
I wanted to receive that unconditional love from my husband for many years until one day he told me, ” Sweetheart, I can’t be God for you.” It made me realize that I was placing expectations on him that only God could fill and fulfill. That was a turning point to a more joy, peace and grace filled marriage.
I was really touched by today’s devotion. I need God’s unfailing love to be all that I need. I would really like to win A Confident Heart. I am a single mom going to college for the second time. Life has been full of issues and I know this book would help guide me to strength and hope. Thanks.
Good Morning Ms. Swope,
I read your devotional on the P31 website and it pierced right through my heart. I recently attended a retreat at my church and the Lord met me there. I realized in that moment how much I sought after the approval and affirmation of others. My heart longed to be loved by a other human being but then the Lord reminded me about his unconditional love. Thank you for letting God use you.
I would like to be placed in the drawing for the devotional!
I would love to read the Confident Heart Devotional. With life’s obstacles, I don’t always trust and believe with ALL my heart that God truly LOVES me or that He is there for me. I know that He does unconditionally love me, but I find myself doubting at times and wondering certain things. I find myself asking why all the time. I also put a lot of stress on my husband to fulfill that need for love or the emptiness my heart feels. My expectations are only ones that God can fulfill. I lived in a home where I felt unloved and neglected on a daily basis. I noticed over the years, I was searching for someone anyone to fulfill that need for love. The wrong people usually entered my life. I also let what others say make me feel like a failure as a homemaker, mom, and a wife. I have many insecurities and no confidence. I need a little inspiration to get back to reality . . . to understand God’s love and his plan for my life. God is enough. God is what I thirst for . . . God is what I need the most. He will provide the never-ending unconditional love and approval that I desire.
I love your book, I would love to win the five languages of love singles edition…. I just love reading your books, they are easy to understand. You put things in perspective and I’m just taken in. Your books are a blessing and would love to win them….
My small group of empty nesters is reading your Confident Heart together. We’re scattered from Vermont to Tennessee to New Zealand. We’re on the first chapter now. I’m interested in the devotional you’re giving away
This book covers the topic of my biggest struggle…how to let God, and nothig else, fill the lonely void inside of me. I would LOVE a free copy!
Thank you for the devotional. I appreciate you being so open on making the plan to accidentally bump into your old friend. We’ve all done things like that. It is nice to be reminded that those longings are actually for the one who created us and not to be filled with trivial pursuits and lusts. Something we all have to watch out for on a daily basis.
I just love reading into the insight of your devotionals. My husband and I are trying to help a young couple in the marriage and find some of the things that are said outloud from one of them to the other is words I didn’t think I would ever hear married people say to each other. They go to Church and my prayer is that with alot of praying and ministering they will both finally see that God IS IN CONTROL. Thanks for sharing your heart.
This something that struggle with everyday letting God fully into my life, my everyday, even though I talk and pray to him daily and read his word there is an emptiness not being filled. I am a single mom of 5, recently divorced and so he is who I depend on daily!!! Thanks for thus prayer: Jesus, help me stop searching for fulfillment in anything or anyone but You. Will You satisfy me with Your unfailing love and help me depend on You to meet my deepest desires and needs. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Unconditional love is something I try to give and show to others in my life including a homeless ministry that I started 8 years ago.Until reading this I didn’t realize how much I have looked to other people to fulfill that love that only Christ can. My dad wasn’t in my life for 22 years and I look back and see that was about the time that it started almost Ss if it was a transfer…all while giving my heart to the wrong men….at she 39 I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me for my heart not in what I can do for him and not even for my body as we have remained pure. however its uncomfortable for me to accept but I am learning.thank you for your article to help me learn more about myself and who God is! Thanks.
Thank you so much Renee! I would love to win the devotional to “A Confident Heart”! I have it downloaded to my phone and I think I have highlighted the entire book. I have struggled my whole life with not feeling as if I am good enough, even for God, I had one failed marriage and my (2nd marriage) husband and I have been having “issues”. Your book (and God’s Word) has been a tremendous help to me. I realize that God’s love for me is unfailing and unconditional. It had helped me see and turn away from the lies of the enemy and turn towards the light of God’s truth. I now know that God made me good enough and even if the world doesn’t see it or think that way of me (even my husband) that God’s view of me is the only one that matters because He wonderfully and and fearfully made me. Praise God for working in me and Praise God for working in you to share your hope with me and other woman facing the same struggles. God bless you Renee and thank you again!
Growing up in the church you hear constantly about how God is a God of love and that He will provide for all of our needs. That He will give you the desires of your heart. As you move through high school and college you see your friends meet and marry, buy houses and begin a family-all those things that you have wanted for as long as you can remember. Yet here you are looking up to God as if you say, “When is it my turn?” It’s so hard some times to remember that God has a plan in mind and that He is the one to provide unconditional love. That is a constant struggle that I face. I would love copies of these books to help remind me of those promises and that I need to put my focus on Him.
God is dealing with me about some of these very things right now too.
This word is a wonderful reminder that God is the only one that can love us with a unfailing love. All we have to do is trust and lean on Him. Thank you for sharing this word. I do not have this book yet. It sounds like a good one to go get. I would like either book to share with others.
Grace and peace. I relate to your testimny and struggle with expeccting so much out of our relationship
s. Would love a devotional. Thanks so very much.
I would love a copy of your confident heart devotional. Thanks for all the great devotions, they help start my day and get my focus on God
It’s hard to know how to love when feelings are invalidated and circumstances dictate a warped view of what love really is. So much is stripped from a person leaving them empty and longing. It almost destroyed my marriage. But God is so good and redeemed it with His unfailing and unconditional love.
This devotion couldn’t have come at a better time. I’ve felt so tired and detached from everything lately. Your daily emails are very encouraging and more times than not they have come just when I need them. I would love to win either of the books; the confident heart for myself or The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition for my sister. It would be fun to bless my sister with this book!