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“What a [woman] desires is unfailing love …” Proverbs 19:22a (NIV)
I had everything I wanted yet felt empty and confused.
My life was full of relationships and accomplishments I’d worked hard to gain, but none could fill or fulfill me.
Frustrated by my aching emptiness, tears streamed down my face as I thought about the guy I dated through high school and college. Our future plans had crumbled under the pressure of me expecting him to be all I needed.
I had been crazy about him — a little too crazy.
Like the time a friend mentioned my ex-boyfriend was heading to our hometown for the weekend. We worked near each other, so Friday afternoon I parked by his office and waited for him to leave.
We both “happened” to be at the same fast food restaurant, at the same time and bumped into each other. After getting my order, I got in my car and followed behind him, hoping he’d see me, realize he couldn’t live without me and signal to pull over so we could talk.
Seriously, what was I thinking? As you can guess, he never stopped. I was hopeless and humiliated…
A few weeks later, I was taking a walk around my college campus. My eyes drifted to the buildings, dorms and other landmarks of memories. Suddenly my mind filled with a collage of faces, reminding me of my efforts to win the approval of advisors, friends and professors — hoping their affirmation could fill my emptiness.
Although I was graduating soon, had a few great job offers and achieved success in many ways, my heart still felt restless. And I couldn’t help but wonder: Why was all that I had never enough?
A thought rushed through my soul, stringing together two words I had never put next to each other. I sensed God answering me.
Renee, all you have ever wanted is unconditional love.
Unconditional love? I didn’t know there was such a thing. Then God whispered into my soul: You’ll never find the love you long for in anyone or anything but Me. I AM the unconditional love you’re looking for.
The thought of God loving me without any conditions was inconceivable, yet something deep in my soul told me it was true. I’d been looking for love that didn’t have to be earned. Love I didn’t have to fear losing.
Honestly, it was hard to see how God’s love could fill the emptiness in my heart. It took time, but I came to understand that God created me with that need for fulfillment so He could meet it.
Proverbs 19:22a, says, “What a person desires is unfailing love.”
The word “desire” comes from the Hebrew word ta’avah, which means: to greatly long for, deeply desire or crave. Interestingly, unfailing love is mentioned over 30 times in the Bible, and not once is it in reference to a person. It is only attributed to God.
Could it be that God gave us a desire for unfailing love, because He knew it could lead us back to Him?
If today’s post resonated with you, I hope you’ll ENTER TO WIN (This giveaway has ended, but I’d still love to hear from you!)
a copy of my new Confident Heart Devotional. I truly believe the stories and truths in it will change your life {like they have mine}!
Based on honest struggles we all have with comparison, self-doubt, fear of failing, and the life-changing lessons God’s taught me and ten other women, {whose stories are in the book} you will discover how to change the way you feel by changing the way you think – which will transform the way you live!
Expanding on what readers of my first book LOVED most: “When I say … God says …” statements, I’ve written 60 new devotions and new {WISGS} statements to equip you with a new a thought map and a promise – to live in every day!
ENTER TO WIN (This giveaway has ended, but I’d still love to hear from you!)
Share your thoughts in the comments below to WIN one of 5 copies of my A Confident Heart Devotional or a copy of The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition for you or a friend. Be sure to let us know which book you’d like to win!
I have lost all
Confidence and feel like an empty shell. I’m lost and confused. I would love a copy of A confident heart!!
I always wanted that someone to love me as much as I loved them. After two marriages and dating again, I was found myself to be filled with disappointment. UNTIL, March 2012 when I was baptized. My heart has been filled with peace and love. Thank God for all that He does and filling my heart with unconditional love. I would love to have a companion in my life but I know if that doesn’t happen I will have that companion forever through eternity. I still have a lot of growing but have come a long way. God is good!!!
Oops! Correction…..I found myself…..
Sometimes I feel so broken in a world where everyone else I see looks whole. Thank you for your message, I am a bit of pottery that He is putting back together. I love devotionals and testamonies, they make me feel not alone. Thank you Jesus for your grace and Renee for your story.
Josie
I can so relate. I had a first marriage that ended in divorce. He and his family were verbally abusive. Could it have turned into physical abuse at some point? Maybe.
Once I was really in a place to grow spiritually and really look back at the events I realized I was looking for someone to really love me and thought he was “it” because he said he loved me. He also wasn’t walking with God.
I now know God is should be my focus and He truly does love me unconditionally.
Might I add I am now married to a wonderful man that God placed in my life and together, with God at the center of our relationship, we are “doing life” together. Praise God!
I know someone who I believe needs to hear what you (and God’s Word) have to say. I would like to share your book with her.
No matter how often I read about God’s unconditional love it always amazes me that He chose me. So comforting to know and reassuring that He will never stop. I need to live every moment of every day knowing and believing that. The on second I let go of that truth I am vulnerable and lost. Thank you for helping me start my day with God’s love echoing in my mind.
Hi Renee,
I have read and participated in the Confident Heart Bible Study 3 times now. Thank you so much for blessing me,
I would love to win a copy of The Five Love Languages for Singles!!!
Here’s why.
After 26 years of being divorced, and approaching my 60th birthday in May God willing, NEVER, EVER, in my wildest dreams did I think that I could or would be able to ever fall in love with another man. (I had resigned myself to be a one man woman).
Additionally, I never thought another man would be remotely interested in me nor have a desire to fall in love with me.
Therefore, I never made myself “available”. I have just kept to myself, being “content” in this season of being “single” once more, and maybe for the rest of my life.
But…
Yet, here I am ;-D Who would have ever thought? Again, not me!
I have recently been reacquainted with a man that I met 36 years ago. He lost his wife 2 years ago tragically.
We’ve spoken to each other daily (multiple times) since the week prior to Thanksgiving , the 23rd to be exact, but who’s counting? 😉
We haven’t missed a day.
He has made it know that he would like to “pursue” me and “court” me.
After both of us talking to our Pastors, I have consented, and if God wills us to be yolked together, than so be it unto us.
We are taking things one day at a time and doing this God’s way, as we are equally yolked. Unfortunately neither of us were in our first marriages.
I am certain that “The 5 Love Languages for Singles” would be a huge blessing for the both of us as we continue on the journey getting to know each other on a deeper level.
Thank you again Renee
God bless you and your family.
I have really enjoying the daily devotionals from Proverbs 31 Ministries that I read in the morning. They help me get through the day. I struggle with self doubt off and on. I would love to win a copy of your book, Confident Heart Devotional.
Thank you so much for those words of encouragement. I have really been struggling with my feelings of not being loved. My children are moving away, my husband has talked divorce and I’m just struggling to understand why I’m not good enough to be loved for me. Knowing God loves me no matter what is something I really needed to hear this morning. God really does work through prayers to help us in times of need. Thanks Rene
i have been so blessed with the quotes from these two books over the weeks. I am just at the tail end of a horrible misunderstanding that hurt several people and i need to be so close to God., Thank you for your encouragement! , i w3asn’t sure i could go on for a while there.
Hi I just want to say that I am trying harder than ever to be in God’s word daily. It is still a struggle but worth it. I’m a single woman of the ripe age of 38 soon to be 39 on the 18th of February. I see your devotionals on fb all the time. I love to read them. I have always heard of 5 Love Languages and have wondered what mine would be. I’m getting ready to start a Bible study called The Daniel Plan and cannot wait for the changes my mind and body will be taking. I would love a copy of The 5 Love Languages. I think it would better help me to understand myself because I have not had a relationship in my life. I do pray for my future partner. Thank you for your time.
I completely resonated with this post!! Except, I think I JUST realized all I’ve ever wanted was unconditional love. Not sure I grasp it completely, but it’s a start. I would love a copy of a confident heart! Nonetheless, thank you for this excerpt.
I really need the Confident Heart devotional. I’m really on my own spiritually at home. Its hard to stay on track and positive.
I would love to win A Confident Heart. I have a Niece I would love to give it to. I pray daily for her to find God as her only source in filling the hole in her heart.
I just ordered and received A Confident Heart and am looking forward to reading it. I am currently going through a divorce and have been completely devastated! I am gaining such strength in the Lord and I so want to be FULLY confident in everything that the Lord has planned for me! I want to be in His will and I want to be healthy and healed with the Lord filling up all of my doubts of who I am and what value I hold.
Thank you for all your encouraging words, Facebook posts, Scripture encouragements, etc. I know that I am one of thousands upon thousands who have been blessed by your sweet spirit. 🙂
Would love to win a copy of the devotional. I read your devotion today and it really resonated with me. My husband waited nearly 15 years to be with me and he is a great example to me of god’s love for me after coming out of my first marriage which was an emotionally abusive one. But I need to constantly remind myself that he cannot fill the god shaped hole in my heart that seeks his unconditional love. I know it isHis love I seek
I would love the win a copy of A Confident Heart Devotional! The past few months have been very difficult for me. Due to personal circumstances that occurred during my final semester of college, I lost the small bit of confidence I had in myself. I have spent the past few months in prayer daily praying for God to give me peace and the confidence to pursue a career that I truly believe He has called me to be a part of. I believe if I had the opportunity to read this devotional, I could rebuild my confidence and find the courage to follow God’s calling for my life.
I just started reading a Confident Heart. I am 54 years old and still doubt myself.
I’ve done the confident heart OBS and am re-reading it as I need to hear some of the truths more than once. Would love the devotional! 🙂
As a stay at home mom of 3 under 3, and one of them terminally I’ll, I am constantly seeking acceptance. Trying to figure out where I fit and how to be me. I have always looked for approval but it seems worse with a sick child and not working, as if I have lost myself… I would lovethe ddevotional.
Honestly, I puzzle over this every single day. I want love, I want affirmation and I seek it–embarrassingly so. I don’t feel love but I know it is there. I am told it is because I was abused and I have shut it out and I don’t allow myself to feel. I can’t talk at church or at small group because I am embarrassed to say to a bunch of God loving women, that I don’t feel love for God. Nothing. Empty. All I can say is reading and listening brings me peace. I have your book and many others, but I am at a loss to finding the key to cracking the love code.
At what point are we shifting our focus from God to someone/something else? Is it wrong that I want my husband to notice me? Tell me I’m pretty? Currently reading the book. Would love the devotional.
I have read your book Confident Heart and loved it. Would love to win the devotional. Thank you so much for your ministry to me and other women! Blessings to you.
I have struggled all my life feeling like I was missing something. I married young after a horrible childhood & looked to him to save me & fulfill every need I had. I later learned the pressure this put him under & he left after 15 yrs & 3 kids. I was lost. I began to find my true Father & Savior. I have faltered, lost sight, & yet God has still been there waiting for me to find my way back. My ex husband & I have been in the process of reconciliation now for 3 years, trying to learn from our mistakes. I still struggle, but the daily devotions & books like The 5 Love Languages have helped me keep on track & want to know that love only God can give.
God is love, He loves us like no other can.
I stand and look out of my window, dazing up to the heavens.
I talk to our Father God and ask Him am I going to live the rest of my life alone?
Are You going to send someone special my way to love me?
Then I stop with my eyes close and cry out, Thank You Father God for loving me.
You loved me when You created and knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I am never alone, God is there when I wake up in the mornings.
He is there when I lay my head down to rest at night, He sends His only Son to
Whisper into my ear each night to sing me a soft tune.
He understands me, listens to me and feeds me His awesome word.
What more could I ask for? I have a Father who is always carrying me all the way.
He will never leaving me, and one day I will see Him face to face.
To give Him the most biggest {{{{HUG}}}}}} and Thank Him for always being in my life.
I have always seemed to need another’s approval and have been driven to do what was necessary to obtain it. I always try to say or do the right things. I never grew up in a home with unconditional love, it was very conditional and still is, even though I am now an adult. I still struggle to find the favor of my parents and siblings. Unfortunately, I feel that I have passed this trait onto my children, my eldest in particular. I would love to win this book and for us all to be able to let go of these worldly desires and trust in God more. Thanks!
I love your teaching. Either book would be great. A confident heart would be my first choice.
I started reading A Confident Heart but have gotten busy & haven’t read it for awhile. This devotional reminded me how much I need to continue reading it. I would love to win the devotional book. Thank you for a chance.
Hi, I signed up for “A Confident Heart” online study at proverbs 31 as recommended by a friend. The book is amazing and perfect for where I am at in my journey as a wife, mother, teacher and daughter of the king. It is a book I have reread sections of and dream of having a weekend to myself to go through it on my own and then share with close friends. I would LOVE to win the devotional!
I recently read The Confident Heart & LOVED the insight that you shared! There were so many times reading the book that I felt you must have looked into my soul! I would LOVE to have a copy of the devotional to continue the affirmation & the value that I felt your book “gave back to me” by sharing God’s truth.
I stumbled across this page on my fb feed and it’s just how I was feeling today! Thankful for resources online to all God to speak to you. I would love a copy of your devotional!
These books would be a great read!I have struggled with unconditional love all my life.Thank you for the article read it touched my heart!
I am so touched by what I have read so far and would love to own her book. I have been looking for a good devotional and have not found one that spoke to me until Renee’s.
I have read A Confident Heart twice and have given it to friends going through hard times. I would love to have the devotional. Thank you for your godly wisdom and gift of ministering to women. You are a blessing!
Would love to check out your books!!
I would like the 5 languages of love. When i feel no one else loves me I know God does no matter what. I want to be what He wants me to be, but I know He cant love me any more and wont love me any less.
Exactly what I needed to read today.
Thank you for sharing your experience in this devotional. It seemed written for me today. I would love to win a copy of the Confident Heart devotional!
Loved this devotion and it really got hime for the particular path that I am on right now!! Thank you so much!!!
Love, love, love this!
Confidence can be tricky. You live so much of your life without it that once you begin to learn what it is and how to have it in your own life, it doesn’t take much to revert back to your old self. This has been something I’ve been dealing with for several months. Thought I knew where God was leading me but now I’m not so sure.
I love the direction the Bible gives us when we understand what is being told to us. I get excited when I see passages indicating we do this, then God will do that such as Philippians 4:6-8. Look forward to reading Confident Heart. Thank you for the chance to win a copy.
I would love to have a copy of this new devo book. This writing struck a chord with me – I too have looked and at times DO look for unconditional love in the wrong places.
Oh Father forgive me!! You, Lord are right there waiting!
Thank you Renee for helping to remind me of this. May God continue to use you and strengthen you to you h womens hearts and souls.
Winning either the Five Love Languages for Singles or Confident Heart would be wonderful!!! I really loved the post. Like many, I always want more (the right guy to settle down with, the right job, etc.). I need to work on surrendering to God in ALL areas of my life because He has control and He has a plan for me.
For as long as I can remember I have struggled with unconditional love. I don’t understand how anyone even Christ can love unconditionally. I always rationalize my way through thoughts that defeat what the Bible says. While I know the words convincing my heart of Gods love for me is another matter all together. It is almost like my heart can’t stand it if for some reason God would let me down even when my head knows he never will. I think both books would help me to understand Gods love and to open my heart to Him.
I would love to win a copy of your devotional, i am reading your book, have recommend it to friends. It just seemed to meet me where i am at right now.
I am going through the most difficult time in my marriage, even my life. After 22 years of marriage I have to learn that he felt rejected, disrespected, unloved and needs distance. After one year of living away from home he now knows that he cannot, doesn’t want to come back home, and therefore he filed for divorce. His emotional, physical expectations of a fulfilling married life had not been met. His love for me then was conditional whileI had expected him to love me with all my weaknesses and shortcomings. The last 8 months there was no sign of affection – it hurt so badly! And I realize how much I long to be loved…and also to be allowed to give love to the man I vowed to spend my life with. I know God loves me and he will never ever leave me. But I often cannot feel it. … I think I would enjoy reading the devotions to direct my focus daily to Him whose love is unconditional.
I saw this on facebook and am entering to win the devotional. I have read.five love languages and own the book. It is wonderful. I am an addict in recovery and have been struggling. I have been raised in the assemblies of God church but for years turned my back on God. Any inspiration and knowledge I can gain will be amazing. Thank you for this opportunity
This was so on the mark for me. I have been following this path most of my life (in my 50’s now) and just over the last 2 years have found that God is all I need to crave and not everyone’s acceptance. Reading Proverbs 31 Ministries daily devotions, seeing the blogs and involving myself in the OBS’s has been live changing and live saving.
I would love to receive a copy of “The Confident Heart Devotional” to help me continue of this path to listening and “hearing” what God has for me.
Thank you and God bless you Renee. 🙂
I would love to win your devotional book. I have read you book and loved it.