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“What a [woman] desires is unfailing love …” Proverbs 19:22a (NIV)
I had everything I wanted yet felt empty and confused.
My life was full of relationships and accomplishments I’d worked hard to gain, but none could fill or fulfill me.
Frustrated by my aching emptiness, tears streamed down my face as I thought about the guy I dated through high school and college. Our future plans had crumbled under the pressure of me expecting him to be all I needed.
I had been crazy about him — a little too crazy.
Like the time a friend mentioned my ex-boyfriend was heading to our hometown for the weekend. We worked near each other, so Friday afternoon I parked by his office and waited for him to leave.
We both “happened” to be at the same fast food restaurant, at the same time and bumped into each other. After getting my order, I got in my car and followed behind him, hoping he’d see me, realize he couldn’t live without me and signal to pull over so we could talk.
Seriously, what was I thinking? As you can guess, he never stopped. I was hopeless and humiliated…
A few weeks later, I was taking a walk around my college campus. My eyes drifted to the buildings, dorms and other landmarks of memories. Suddenly my mind filled with a collage of faces, reminding me of my efforts to win the approval of advisors, friends and professors — hoping their affirmation could fill my emptiness.
Although I was graduating soon, had a few great job offers and achieved success in many ways, my heart still felt restless. And I couldn’t help but wonder: Why was all that I had never enough?
A thought rushed through my soul, stringing together two words I had never put next to each other. I sensed God answering me.
Renee, all you have ever wanted is unconditional love.
Unconditional love? I didn’t know there was such a thing. Then God whispered into my soul: You’ll never find the love you long for in anyone or anything but Me. I AM the unconditional love you’re looking for.
The thought of God loving me without any conditions was inconceivable, yet something deep in my soul told me it was true. I’d been looking for love that didn’t have to be earned. Love I didn’t have to fear losing.
Honestly, it was hard to see how God’s love could fill the emptiness in my heart. It took time, but I came to understand that God created me with that need for fulfillment so He could meet it.
Proverbs 19:22a, says, “What a person desires is unfailing love.”
The word “desire” comes from the Hebrew word ta’avah, which means: to greatly long for, deeply desire or crave. Interestingly, unfailing love is mentioned over 30 times in the Bible, and not once is it in reference to a person. It is only attributed to God.
Could it be that God gave us a desire for unfailing love, because He knew it could lead us back to Him?
If today’s post resonated with you, I hope you’ll ENTER TO WIN (This giveaway has ended, but I’d still love to hear from you!)
a copy of my new Confident Heart Devotional. I truly believe the stories and truths in it will change your life {like they have mine}!
Based on honest struggles we all have with comparison, self-doubt, fear of failing, and the life-changing lessons God’s taught me and ten other women, {whose stories are in the book} you will discover how to change the way you feel by changing the way you think – which will transform the way you live!
Expanding on what readers of my first book LOVED most: “When I say … God says …” statements, I’ve written 60 new devotions and new {WISGS} statements to equip you with a new a thought map and a promise – to live in every day!
ENTER TO WIN (This giveaway has ended, but I’d still love to hear from you!)
Share your thoughts in the comments below to WIN one of 5 copies of my A Confident Heart Devotional or a copy of The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition for you or a friend. Be sure to let us know which book you’d like to win!
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I would love to win the Confident Heart Devotional. I’m reading A Confident Heart now and WOW!!!! It’s like I wrote it myself! It is ministering so much to me. I’m so tgNkful to have stumbled upon the book. I have so much hope for my life now!
I wish when I was younger I would have known God better to understand all of that. I would love to read your book and be able to reflect on areas I still may be searching for someone else’s approval. So I would love if I could win your devotional
Thank you, Renee. Your words are so encouraging and easy to relate to similar personal experiences. My husband passed away three years ago and I still struggle with being single. This experience of loneliness has taught me that God is our only unconditional, lasting love. Look forward to more of your blogs.
This message was delivered to me at the perfect time this morning. I’ve battled disordered eating and horrible body image issues for a few years now. There are times when I’m “good” and times when I can’t seem to shake the old habits and thoughts. This week is one of those low times! It is causing issues in my marriage, and stealing our joy. As an intelligent and educated woman I know that logically I should be able to beat this and know that God is my source of happiness, but sometimes it seems so hard.
Today I needed that Word to remind me that my body shouldn’t be my source of happiness and fulfillment. This is still a battle and I will continue to fight it, today with renewed strength in the Lord. Working toward a confident heart I hope!
Thank you!
Thank you for the amazing devotional! Finding security in people is one of my biggest struggle. I’m learning thst only God can fulfill that unconditional love. I was married to a Christian guy for 10 years…learned later he was living a double life during our marriage..my life crumbles before me. I thought by marrying a christian guy, we eill have a fairy tale life….being a Christian or not we all face trials. Now, im recently divorced with 2 young kids and one with special needs….through my pain and sufferings, i do see God’s unconditional love for Me and my children. All i needed was God’s unconditional love. No matter what happens in my life with God i will be more than ok 🙂
I have so appreciated your devotionals Renee. I always feel that God uses you to speak to me. Lately I have felt God nudging my heart and saying – Elaine, aren’t I enough? My head knows that, but my heart is a little slow, as I continue to crave approval. I am a work in progress 🙂 I have “A Confident Heart” and felt it was written for me. The accompanying devotional would be special too, I know.
I am so blessed. My husband went out of state to work after we “lost” the farm in the 80’s. What a complete change in my life. I still went to work, ‘reared” the 3 children, and taught the Young Adult Sunday School class. While preparing the SS lesson, I realized that the LORD had taken a new place in my life. I came to know him as my best friend. On Sunday, I asked the couples class, “Who is your best friend?” No one named Jesus. I shared how the absence of my husband had shown me who our true best friend really is. The promise of Romans 8:28 has carried me through the past 3 decades. We continue to grow that relationship day by day. All other relationships are sweeter because of this wondrous unfailing love.
Thank you for sharing this today! For years I have struggled with confidence. There seems to always be someone saying I am just not good enough…not smart enough, not skinny enough, not….on and on. I, too, desire to be filled with the God confidence that He only can provide. That deep peace I have from knowing I am His is a gift — and trusting in the fact that I am enough because I am a child of God, sadly, comes and goes from time to time. I would love to win a copy of your book to learn new thought patterns to glorify our Lord!! God bless you and thank you for serving all of us in this ministry.
Great devotion! I read through proverbs 31 e-mail. Really it’s home. Great job.
Oh Renee… I laughed when you told the story of ‘stalking’ the ex-boyfriend! After becoming a widow, a gentleman was pursuing me but not as fast as I’d like so I’d make ‘subtle’ comments (which he later informed me weren’t so subtle!) about our relationship. Thankfully, he was moving at the pace God had for us & God began to show me that He was my perfect husband & everyone else would let me down. As I stepped into that Truth, there was a freedom & I no longer was ‘pressured’ to be with someone. It’s such a blessing, knowing my identity is in Him alone & He knows His girl’s heart! I’d love to wine the ‘Confident Heart’ devo. Loved the book & on-line study!
Thanks so much for sharing about your journey. I could directly relate to the way I strive in every setting to attain my desires and not God’s. Lord, help me to seek first your kingdom and all these things will be added to me.
Thank you for the devotions you share. every one touches my heart in a special way. This one however, took me back to when I realized the truth of unconditional Love, and it is still an amazing memory and way of life. 🙂
God had to separate me from my family to finally allow me to see His unfailing love for me. Most days are difficult still because I’m still lonely and estranged from my grown children and their father. It would be good to have this devo to read and remind me of who’s I am on a daily basis. Thank you for putting it together for the lost and brokenhearted.
I love this devotional I have so done this. Now I’m in a good place and I trust God to fulfill my deepest desires and longing!!!
I have recently come to realize that my disconnected feelings from God have been the result of my need to control the relationships and environment around me in an effort to feel valued and unconditionally loved by people in my life. It pains me to say that this has been a life long habit, but now with Jesus’ help my heart and mind will be reformed and made anew.
I often find myself looking to others for approval. Approval for decisions I need to make,how I dress, how my house is decorated, the list just goes on and on. This need to be accepted and loved can spiral out of control and I have found myself making commitments to friends and doing things my heart just wasn’t into, in order to please others. I have several friendships I would say are just superficial because I fear being real, on account I may offend someone. Now that I am a new mom with a three week old little girl I want to set a Godly example for her.I don’t want insecurities to plague my sweet girl. I want her security and esteem for who she is to come from Her relationship with The Lord not from this world. This devotional was a great reminder that security and unfailing love can only come from God. After all he is the only one who truly accepts us as we are. Thanks for being real and sharing your story.
I did the P31 OBS of “A Confident Heart” and it helped me so much! I regained my sense of identity after a trying year with my husband. Now, I feel more secure and confident in myself as a result, since I now believe who I am in Christ is a beloved daughter of God, and no one can take that away from me.
I think the devotional would be such a blessing to win, since there are days and circumstances that still send me reeling into a wave of self-doubt and fear/anxiety. It would be a hand reference for when I need strength from above!
And, I’ve read the 5 Love Languages for couples, and found it to be very helpful info, and I know a few singles in my life, so I think the other book would be a wonderful resource to share.
Thank you so much Renee for helping thousands of women conquer their fears and live confidently in God’s promises!
I have been in a season of constant struggle it seems and hating myself seems to accompany this struggle like a cold side dish to a very tasteless meal. I have reached a turning point in my life where it seems everything I thought would bring me purpose has failed. My job; the love of a man; all of the things I thought made life purposeful seems to have crumbled and to put the icing on the cake it seems everyone around me is getting just what I’m lacking; careers and marriages and children. And I feel like I’m just stuck. But in the past couple of weeks something has surfaced that’s beginning to change things and give me peace in this moment; none of those things will ever totally fill me because they are only human and like me they don’t get it all right all the time. Right here and right now God says I’m enough and I’m loved and there’s a peace in that even if I still don’t like where I’m at in life or the feelings I feel. God loves me and He knows where this will lead if I hang in there.
Thank you for sharing your gift of writing to help me get to a place to position my heart to God and get past this hard spot in my life. And either book would ne a blessing!
Reading this devotional reminded me that I truly am seeking love and approval – but in the past few months I’ve had God open my eyes to the fact that I’ve been seeking those from my professors, my boss, my friends – rather than the only One that can satisfy completely. I’ve been struggling with confidence in my abilities to be a physical therapist since I am a student in the program now and just had my feet knocked out from under me. However God whispered to me that his love is unconditional, even through my failures. Thank you again for the reminder that it is true!! I would love to have a copy of your book to grow in my confidence as I follow Christ! Have a fantastic day.
I really appreciate your devotional this morning. it was exactly what I not necessarily wanted, but needed to hear. I would love to win a copy of your “confident heart devotional”. thank you for doing what you do!