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“What a [woman] desires is unfailing love …” Proverbs 19:22a (NIV)
I had everything I wanted yet felt empty and confused.
My life was full of relationships and accomplishments I’d worked hard to gain, but none could fill or fulfill me.
Frustrated by my aching emptiness, tears streamed down my face as I thought about the guy I dated through high school and college. Our future plans had crumbled under the pressure of me expecting him to be all I needed.
I had been crazy about him — a little too crazy.
Like the time a friend mentioned my ex-boyfriend was heading to our hometown for the weekend. We worked near each other, so Friday afternoon I parked by his office and waited for him to leave.
We both “happened” to be at the same fast food restaurant, at the same time and bumped into each other. After getting my order, I got in my car and followed behind him, hoping he’d see me, realize he couldn’t live without me and signal to pull over so we could talk.
Seriously, what was I thinking? As you can guess, he never stopped. I was hopeless and humiliated…
A few weeks later, I was taking a walk around my college campus. My eyes drifted to the buildings, dorms and other landmarks of memories. Suddenly my mind filled with a collage of faces, reminding me of my efforts to win the approval of advisors, friends and professors — hoping their affirmation could fill my emptiness.
Although I was graduating soon, had a few great job offers and achieved success in many ways, my heart still felt restless. And I couldn’t help but wonder: Why was all that I had never enough?
A thought rushed through my soul, stringing together two words I had never put next to each other. I sensed God answering me.
Renee, all you have ever wanted is unconditional love.
Unconditional love? I didn’t know there was such a thing. Then God whispered into my soul: You’ll never find the love you long for in anyone or anything but Me. I AM the unconditional love you’re looking for.
The thought of God loving me without any conditions was inconceivable, yet something deep in my soul told me it was true. I’d been looking for love that didn’t have to be earned. Love I didn’t have to fear losing.
Honestly, it was hard to see how God’s love could fill the emptiness in my heart. It took time, but I came to understand that God created me with that need for fulfillment so He could meet it.
Proverbs 19:22a, says, “What a person desires is unfailing love.”
The word “desire” comes from the Hebrew word ta’avah, which means: to greatly long for, deeply desire or crave. Interestingly, unfailing love is mentioned over 30 times in the Bible, and not once is it in reference to a person. It is only attributed to God.
Could it be that God gave us a desire for unfailing love, because He knew it could lead us back to Him?
If today’s post resonated with you, I hope you’ll ENTER TO WIN (This giveaway has ended, but I’d still love to hear from you!)
a copy of my new Confident Heart Devotional. I truly believe the stories and truths in it will change your life {like they have mine}!
Based on honest struggles we all have with comparison, self-doubt, fear of failing, and the life-changing lessons God’s taught me and ten other women, {whose stories are in the book} you will discover how to change the way you feel by changing the way you think – which will transform the way you live!
Expanding on what readers of my first book LOVED most: “When I say … God says …” statements, I’ve written 60 new devotions and new {WISGS} statements to equip you with a new a thought map and a promise – to live in every day!
ENTER TO WIN (This giveaway has ended, but I’d still love to hear from you!)
Share your thoughts in the comments below to WIN one of 5 copies of my A Confident Heart Devotional or a copy of The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition for you or a friend. Be sure to let us know which book you’d like to win!
Wow! Thanks so much! I have always struggled with a lack of confidence, but even more so as a young mother. I am learning that only God can provide me with the confidence that I need. I would LOVE to win your book, A Confident Heart devotional!!!
I would love to win a copy of a confident heart devotional. I participated in your online Bible study a confident heart and out helped me tremendously. Thank you for all you do and sharing from your heart to help other women. May GOD Bless you!!
Just this year I went through a very difficult break-up with the “man of my dreams”. While I was serving overseas for the Army, he was attending church with my family in the states and had revealed to me that he had accepted Christ as His personal Savior. I thought, “Wow! Thank you, Lord”. This is what I’ve always wanted in a man. But after I sustained a severe shoulder injury, the relationship with my, then, future husband became even more distant. The more I plunged into scripture to deal with persecution from the devil, the more he would question and wonder. Approximately three months after my medical evacuation to the states, my fiancé told me that he no longer desired to go to church. “In fact”, he would tell me, “I’ve been thinking about this whole ‘God-thing’ an it just isn’t for me. I was devasted. I knew the truth. I knew what The Lord wanted from me and that was to guide me back to Him. For years I strayed away from The Lord. I knew His Word, was raised in AWANA and the church, but the world seemed to always offer more. It has been six months since our split. It was incredibly difficult to watch him walk his separate way, and it still is to this day. But through it all I’ve become on fire for Christ. I became a prodigal and thank God every day for giving me a second chance. I can’t wait for the day when I can stand before Him and hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant”. I would love a copy of The Five Love Languages Single Edition because I presented my ex-fiancé with The Five Languages a few months before our break up. Every day I work on loving Christ more than wanting a man. Turns out the “man of my dreams” fell short. And I could not be more proud to say that God has taken that place.
Thanks for sharing that. The last two sentences will really resonate with me. I think that sums up many of our relationships- they fall short because only God belongs in the place that we put them. Thank you again for sharing
Wonderful writing! I am a retired old-maid elementary teacher. I spent most of my life serving and trying to please others without experiencing total success. I have gradually come to the conclusion that I only have to please God, who loves me unconditionally. He wants me to love HIM above all others. He wants me to love my neighbors AS I LOVE MYSELF. This is a relief, as self love is often seen as selfish and suspect. I continue to help others, but for love of God, not for their pats on the back… though, being human, I like those, too. I am devoting more time to Bible-based reading in an effort to have a closer relationship with my loving God. I hope I win so that I can read the books and share with my friends, including my adult Sunday School group, the Children’s Message I do weekly, the Monday night Bible Study I attend and the Tuesday night Youth Service I help with.
I have pretty much given up on ever being loved by someone. It just doesn’t seem like those are Gods plans for my life. I’m not sure what his plans are either. I didn’t have a boyfriend in high school, college or any other time in my life and it doesn’t seem like it will be any time soon. I’m already to old for that in my late thirties.
I WAS RAISED NOT REALLY KNOW WHO GOD WAS AND WHAT HE REALLY MEANT TO ME UNTIL AFTER GOING THUR A DIVORCE AND YEARS OF ABUSE AS A YOUNG CHILD. MY CURRENT HUSBAND WAS RAISE BY A FAMILY THAT THOUGHT HIM WHO GOD WAS AND NOW I AM A BELIEVER OF JESUS CHIRST AND SO THANKFUL FOR WHO HE IS TO ME PERSONALLY. IT IS HARD A TIMES TO REALLY THINK THAT SOMEONE COULD LOVE ME UNCONTIONALLY WITHOUT KNOWING ME. I WOULD LOVE TO WIN THE CONFIDENT HEART!!!
Your devotional today hit me right in the chest. My heart hurts. I feel as though you could see me when writing that devotional.
I know that to be confident in your faith you have to know that God is always with you. I know he is always with me and after the study of “A Confident Heart” with P31 ministries I am able to hold my head high and get things accomplished without doubt,. I am sure the Devotional would help me to keep that confidence. So I would like the Devotional. Thanks
Sunday’s sermon was about the story of Martha & Mary- how we allow our lives to get so full with things because we’re missing the most important part, the good part- a beautiful, intimate relationship with Jesus. Reading this today helped me realize that I’ve spent most of my life being Miss Martha and I need to take a cue from sister Mary. 🙂 Thanks for your encouragement in this devotion.
“But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.
And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:
But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:40-42)
I have always believed in God but never pursued my faith until recently. I am reading the Bible and love the Proverbs 31 Ministries messages. They inspire me to connect and let God fill my heart and mind with his love for me. It has been a long process of wondering and doubt but I keep going because I know that a life without God in my heart is wrong for me. A Confident Heart Devotional is just what I need to show me how to let God fill my heart.
Thank you for always being faithful to share your thoughts about your walk with God. Unconditional love – what an amazing LORD we serve. Just basking…thanks for the reminder.
Wow I could use a confident heart. I know Jesus loves me and yet I sometimes feel empty and unloved. I needto let God work in my heart and think this devotion would help me a ton
I’ve gotten so off course these past few months that just hearing about His unconditional love is soothing.
I am trying to get to the heart of how and why it is that I can be doing so well and then all of a sudden just self-destruct and begin to make choices that only sabatoge everything I’ve ben working so hard at accomplishing (or building or doing or losing…).
I am realizing that people, (even the one’s with the best of intentions) , are NEVER my solution.
Digging into Him and His word is the only thing that seems to help. Perhaps it will only be when I finally get to the end of myself, TRULY, that this self-destructive cycle will stop.
Father help us all to have a deeper realization of your unconditional love.
Yes! I do the same. Just as people are never the solution, we ourselves can never be our own solution either. That’s why my best efforts are never good enough! Thanks for pointing this out and for pointing us back to prayer. God bless you.
Wow, i am newly back to being single after almost 10 years with my now ex-husband…. it was a different world, i was a different person then… I am trying to find where I fit, God has let me know i fit with him. i would love either book and im sure they are both great 🙂
I look forward to your daily devotionals, thank you for all that you do.
This was a great devotional. Sometimes as single people we seem to look to others to fulfill that longing for someone to love us. It is so reassuring to know that God gives us unconditional love always.
To coin a song… “I’ve been looking for love in all the wrong places…” Lately, I have been questioning why I can’t seem to have and keep a long-lasting BEST friend. What I have discovered is that I am blessed with such a diverse group of friends, I should be so thankful for all of them… and enjoy each one’s company and relationship where it is. If I rely on God/Jesus/The Holy Spirit to be my BEST FRIEND… my Savior… my Redeemer… and depend on His Grace… I become satisfied with how my life is going. I am ready to love my earthly friends in whatever level of relationship we have, and count that as a gift. The only real BEST friend I need is the Heavenly One. With Him by my side, I know that I have that “unconditional love”.
I love reading your daily devotionals, and would love to have this book. Thank you.
I would love to win a copy of this devotional book in order to share it with my twin granddaughters who are 14 years old. One is a cheerleader and has been bullied so much by some of the other cheerleaders that she doubts everything about herself and is even at the point of Panic Attacks. She is a gorgeous, talented girl but feels unloved and disliked. We are trying to help her realize that God loves her unconditionally. Sometimes tho’ what one hears and believes “intellectually”, one does not internalize emotionally.
it’s been a long time since I have visit this blog. How good is God to have me a people pleaser to read this article. God is always right on time thanks, I needed to read this article much of the time I look to people to fulfill my needs instead of looking toward God. thanks again.
I would love to read the single book
Thank you so much for your devotion! I am currently going through a divorce from a husband who hasn’t been loving in a long time. I allowed his lack of love determine my self worth and thought if I could just get him to love me everything would be better. That is not the case. The best thing that has come out of this whole awful experience is that I have turned to God for strength. I didn’t realize that in my married years I strayed from the God who loves me unconditionally. I would love to receive your devotional. Thank you!
I think I struggle with the idea that any person, including God is willing to give me unconditional love. It is such an awesome gift that I don’t think I could ever be worthy of it. But then that’s just the point isn’t it.
This really touched my heart because I too have been searching for years until recently and I appreciate the added conformation of this reading. Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today and the first thing I need to accept daily, sometimes hourly, is God’s love for me even when I am not at my best. It is not because of what I do but what Jesus did on the cross for me. Accept it, believe it! Sometimes are harder than others. Thank you
I was touched by your devotion especially the prayer at the end “Jesus, help me stop searching for fulfillment in anything or anyone but You.”
Renee,
Thank you so much for your devotions. Encouragement for Today always seems to be a message straight from God that I need to hear that day. Even though I am a successful mom, teacher, and friend, I constantly deal with Satan’s instrument of self doubt. After going through an emotionally abusive relationship and marriage of 15 years and a recent divorce, that happens even more now. Why is it human nature to always go back to “human nature” even when we are trying to walk with God and know of his unwavering love? I would love to have more tools to help me cope with that nature and become stronger in my relationship with Him.
Thank you for your message and sharing your gifts.
I love the verse in Psalm 147 that says God is of infinite understanding
I am reading your book for the second time. As I read, God is speaking directly to my heart. Thank you for writing this book and I would love to have the devotional to go along with the book!
I never thought about reading a second time! I love that idea!!
I have gone through some very life changing events in the past two years. Divorcing a mentally abusive husband, being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, moving to another state and placing my special needs son after caring for him for 23 years myself. I know God is with me, however, my confidence and faith has waivered. I have started your book and it has been very helpful. The devotional book would be a wonderful help to me in my daily renewal of faith and confidence.
I would like to win this bc I read your book and could use this to remind myself to be confident in him. I can understand why I was looking for love in all the wrong places now.
I look forward to reading your new devotional. In January I get reall excited to start the new year with a few new devotional s.
Thank you for this study– I am beginning to read the book and now I may have to pick up the devotional as well. Thank you for your words, Renee– you truly have been used by Christ, and I am grateful.
Thank you for your ministry! I love checking my inbox everyday and getting my daily devotions. I’d love to win a copy of A Confident Heart. I’m in a place right now that I could really use it!
Doubting myself has always been a strong hold that Satan uses to defeat me. I have your book and constantly go back to reread. Having your devotional book would be a great help to me in my daily walk with the Lord. It is my desire to become all the Lord would have me be and to helo others.
Your devotionals touch on what’s going on in my life daily. It’s like you have been walking with me and some of the experiences you touch on are “spot on” with what I need to hear/read. Thank you…
This picture on your FB post this morning really caught my attention. I’ve been working through the Made to Crave online Bible study and was especially touched and convicted during last night’s reading. This follows right along and was a great booster to what I read last night. I’ve fought through so many things and am so tired of it. It’s so nice to realize that I can make my life easier, just by keeping my focus on God and he will carry me through. He is all I need.
I would love to start another devotional when this one is complete, and I have been following your facebook posts for a few months. Every post is inspiring! Thank you!
I can totally relate to this post. It has taken a while for me to be completely fine with being single, especially after being cheated on in my last relationship over two years ago. This is an ongoing thing for me to realize that God’s love is the love we need. Thank you for this encouraging devotional. I would love copies of either books.
This books sounds amazing! I started reading an excerpt on line, and had to order it for my kindle right away. I am hoping to win a hard copy to give a friend that is going through some difficult times right now – I now it would be an inspiration for her! Thanks for the chance.
Hi Renee, I loved this mornings devotional and I’m so grateful that you chose it. Every am, when I do my devotion, I usually choose multiple resources to fill me for my day, I feel like I can’t EVER get enough. It’s amazing, cause the 3 different ones I read and watched today were about being content, regardless of where I am in my life, and there is nothing or noone on this earth to fill me like Christ Jesus. Of course, there are those days when I get caught up in a bad spot and realize I’ve been looking in places that will never do the job. I’ve been a Massage Therapist for 4 years and doing God’s work has really tested me in more ways than I ever realized it would. There are countless times I have doubted the path I’m traveling and scared of the unknowing. I thank God for his continued strength to do the work He has called me to do, and I pray with all that I am and all that He has blessed me with to continue impacting the lives of so many. I would love a copy of “A Confident Heart”, thank you so much for reading my post! God Bless You!!
I absolutely love your A Confident Heart. I would love it if I were to win the devotional. I believe it is a must for any woman.
Your devotional today really touched my heart. It is very similar to the beginning of my testimony. I was married, had a career that I loved, children, a home I loved, yet still felt so empty. However, I’m so stubborn, it took more than that for me to finally turn to God. It took several traumatic events in just 1 week for me to finally fall on my knees to God. I’m so thankful I did. God turns all bad into good for those who love him.
Two years later, I now live without a husband at home and only some of my children at home, yet I feel so full. Thank you God for filling my emptiness!!
My husband and I have been marred for almost 29 years. I love him so much. We been blessed with three wonderful boys. A daughter by marriage. I love her as my own, We have Grandson will be a year on the 23rd.This month. I have family not in-laws. My daughter family became our family. I’m so thankful for what we have. Still I feel so empty inside. I’m holding hope.
I AM SINGLE (WISOWED 4 Years)
I know these truths but it is so hard to make them a reality I find myself time and time again looking to get my needs met by my husband and other people. Only God can truly satisfy!
Unemployed for the past 10 months, had to retire from a job that I loved with all my heart (child care) and letting go of my dream to build a center in our town due to health issues. I am now helping my mother take care of her mom (my gram) currently on hospice with kidney and congestive heart failure. God has our lives and plans all timed out, and I know I am where I am suppose to be right now. Reading the Confident Woman is reassuring me of this and that I need to trust completely in him and he has something more precious in store for me. I have been blessed to be able to stay home and spend quality time with my own family, my son, and now my mother and grandmother.
I am just starting to read your book A Confident Heart and would LOVE to have the devotional to go along with it! Thank you for being so real!!
I was that woman!!!!… Desperate, and crazy at times, wanting (SOMEONE/ANYONE) to STAY and LOVE me. I hate that it took so many years to learn that my idea and knowkedge of true love was seriously miss guided and wrong. Now I thank Jesus for not answering those prayers…the thought of what I could have settled for, and been stuck with, is beyond frightening! Thank you for sharing.
I would love to get a copy of the devotional book. I just started reading your book and it has begun a much needed change in me and the way I look toward God. Coming from a performance based childhood, this has warped my views on God. Your book has opened my heart towards my Savior and my heart is starting to heal. Thank you!
I love God, with all my heart. Yet I find that I can never get enough fulfillment to satisfy me very long. I have doubt, live with doubt, it plagues my mind. I doubt I am good enough to be happy. I doubt I might be truly happy and fulfilled. Those are the thoughts I have on my ‘bad’ days, the days where the negative thoughts creep in and try to take over my mind and my heart. I was just recently diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder NOS, Depressive Disorder NOS, and Borderline Personality Disorder, wow I know right! I am a normally confident person, with a great smile and I am intelligent. It’s not often I doubt I deserve love or that I am loved because I know it to be true. I do however doubt I am good enough. I get nervous talking to people. I want to be bold! I need to know how to tap into the courage that God gave me that I know is in there! I am determined not to live by excuses of ‘oh I have a disorder so that’s why I am sad…’ I am determined to beat it at all costs. God is my hero. Jesus is my Savior. The spirit fills my soul.
That is a great story Renee.
Thank you for sharing your devotional. It really spoke to me. The prayer at the end was so beautiful. Realizing God is the real answer to satisfaction & peace. At times, I still struggle with feelings of “less than” because I am single. I tend to forget, I’m not alone. God is right here all the time. Your devotional reminded me of that. I would love to read The Five Love Languages, singles edition.