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“What a [woman] desires is unfailing love …” Proverbs 19:22a (NIV)
I had everything I wanted yet felt empty and confused.
My life was full of relationships and accomplishments I’d worked hard to gain, but none could fill or fulfill me.
Frustrated by my aching emptiness, tears streamed down my face as I thought about the guy I dated through high school and college. Our future plans had crumbled under the pressure of me expecting him to be all I needed.
I had been crazy about him — a little too crazy.
Like the time a friend mentioned my ex-boyfriend was heading to our hometown for the weekend. We worked near each other, so Friday afternoon I parked by his office and waited for him to leave.
We both “happened” to be at the same fast food restaurant, at the same time and bumped into each other. After getting my order, I got in my car and followed behind him, hoping he’d see me, realize he couldn’t live without me and signal to pull over so we could talk.
Seriously, what was I thinking? As you can guess, he never stopped. I was hopeless and humiliated…
A few weeks later, I was taking a walk around my college campus. My eyes drifted to the buildings, dorms and other landmarks of memories. Suddenly my mind filled with a collage of faces, reminding me of my efforts to win the approval of advisors, friends and professors — hoping their affirmation could fill my emptiness.
Although I was graduating soon, had a few great job offers and achieved success in many ways, my heart still felt restless. And I couldn’t help but wonder: Why was all that I had never enough?
A thought rushed through my soul, stringing together two words I had never put next to each other. I sensed God answering me.
Renee, all you have ever wanted is unconditional love.
Unconditional love? I didn’t know there was such a thing. Then God whispered into my soul: You’ll never find the love you long for in anyone or anything but Me. I AM the unconditional love you’re looking for.
The thought of God loving me without any conditions was inconceivable, yet something deep in my soul told me it was true. I’d been looking for love that didn’t have to be earned. Love I didn’t have to fear losing.
Honestly, it was hard to see how God’s love could fill the emptiness in my heart. It took time, but I came to understand that God created me with that need for fulfillment so He could meet it.
Proverbs 19:22a, says, “What a person desires is unfailing love.”
The word “desire” comes from the Hebrew word ta’avah, which means: to greatly long for, deeply desire or crave. Interestingly, unfailing love is mentioned over 30 times in the Bible, and not once is it in reference to a person. It is only attributed to God.
Could it be that God gave us a desire for unfailing love, because He knew it could lead us back to Him?
If today’s post resonated with you, I hope you’ll ENTER TO WIN (This giveaway has ended, but I’d still love to hear from you!)
a copy of my new Confident Heart Devotional. I truly believe the stories and truths in it will change your life {like they have mine}!
Based on honest struggles we all have with comparison, self-doubt, fear of failing, and the life-changing lessons God’s taught me and ten other women, {whose stories are in the book} you will discover how to change the way you feel by changing the way you think – which will transform the way you live!
Expanding on what readers of my first book LOVED most: “When I say … God says …” statements, I’ve written 60 new devotions and new {WISGS} statements to equip you with a new a thought map and a promise – to live in every day!
ENTER TO WIN (This giveaway has ended, but I’d still love to hear from you!)
Share your thoughts in the comments below to WIN one of 5 copies of my A Confident Heart Devotional or a copy of The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition for you or a friend. Be sure to let us know which book you’d like to win!
After going through my divorce which was not my choice I found God’s unconditional love waiting for me to heal my pain. I’m still struggle with finding affirmation in others and long to become more confident in my faith and knowledge of God’s love. I read 5 love languages but when I was married so I would love to revisit it now that I am single. Thanks so your words of encouragement! Blessings!!
It was very inspiring.
Thank you,
Donna
Being reminded of Gods unconditional love is a wonderful thing. Even though I know that he feels this way and that he is within me providing this sometimes it is really hard to remember, during the hard times. Long story short I am watching my family being torn apart from the inside out due to a lie by someone within our home. And although I think I know the truth of what is happening… There is still doubt. And love that came so easy before now comes as struggle. I know that my Heavenly Father will see me through this to completion. And that he will stand beside me through whatever my come. I just need to remember that he loves me unconditionally and always will. His love will bring me through everything. Thank you for this reminder.
OMG! My heart raced. My eyes welled up. Oh my how today’s devotional touched my heart! In conjunction with another study I’m doing, your message on Proverbs 31 connected them together to give me a huge “light bulb” moment today!
Thank you for such a though provoking devotional today.
Although I’ve been a Christian since I was young I am still on the journey of TRULY surrendering and knowing with my whole mind and soul that God CAN fulfill all my needs. I look forward to checking out your devotional, whether I win one or not. Thank you for being a part of Proverbs 31 Ministries.
I’ve been searching for years for that “unconditional love” that you talk about. I am a recovering drug addict and have been sober for 7 years. I am a mother and a wife. Life, you’d think, would be really awesome for me with all I’ve overcome! Yet sometimes I sit here and cry and feel that emptiness like I’m still all alone! Reading has helped me lately. The Bible is a wonderful story. I would love to read your book, “A confident Heart Devotional.” Maybe it would help me understand this unconditional love that I’m searching for and not finding! I pray, but hear no answers.
Your story sounds like what I need in my life. I find myself looking for others approval to fill those empty spots also. I know I already have God’s unconditional , but I do find myself seeking others approval way to often.
I was that girl. I’m so thankful that God showed me that he is my all and that no person or thing can be that for me. Thank you for the reminder and focus shift today!
Hi Renee!
I would love to win a copy of your devotional book and the book on the five Love Languages. I am a single lady learning each and every day how to rest and live in God’s unfailing love.
Thanks for your ministry!
Wonderful devotional! Reading this this morning was a confirmation to me from God. I have been uncovering some issues from my past and realizing that it is time to replace the lies that i have believed since childhood. Satan carefully orchestrates the events in our lives to decieve us in the way that creates the most impact . I refuse to continue to trust in my past experiences or even in the foundational beliefs of my past. These beliefs were created by ME not by the God that loves me. God my father is the only one that truly has my best interests in mind. He is the only one I can trust in. He is the only one that can fill n fullfill me. I want to gather any and all knowledge that i can to help me readjust the way I recieve that love from my heavenly father. I know He is my only living water and im tired of being thirsty. I would like to win a copy of Renees Confident Heart devotional to assist me in this process. Thanks for creating the opputunity to win:)
Neat devotional! I would love to win the 2 books. Thanks!
Thanks for this today!! I know that his love is unconditional, internalizing that is so much harder, but I am working on it, and this definitely gave me some much needed encouragement on the journey today.
I really needed to hear these words today! Thank you Renee for everything that you do! Thank you to the other women who have shared their thoughts- it really helps me feel like I am not alone in my struggles:)
I would really love to read the devotional.
This was for me totally! I battle my flesh tremendously in this area. Thank you Renee for allowing God to speak a word through you in such a sweet & beautiful way!
You hit the nail on the head, I like you have seen a guy I dated and even though I am married, when I see him I wander if he thinks of me. I know I long for unconditional love which in the real world does not exist between people, can only happen between you and God. I can tell in my life when I am not as close to God as I should be. I struggle daily, I attend church, try to get my kids to go but as they have gotten older and one is having migraine headaches that now it is hard to get them to go, their father has always comes up with excuses not to go to church, so he does not set a good example for them. I have changed churches and he always finds something wrong with the church or the people. Finally I decided that I am going to church for me I am the one that needs to be happy with where I go. I believe your books would be a true blessing to read and have.
I already have your book and would like to have “The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition”, since I am single and do not look forward to this love season.
Todays reading really hit home for me. I dont get along with my mom the best. We have constantly struggled over the years and I have always looked for the unconditional love from her since that is what parents are supposed to give – right?!? This post gives me a lot to pray about and think about. Thank you!
So thankful for God’s unconditional love. I wish I had felt it when i was younger. I too chased humans for love. I would have had more confidence if I had realized all of this sooner.
God’s love for me is like no other I have ever known in the spiritual sense. The waiting and having patience for a physical soul mate is the challenging part of the faith. I try to understand daily that God’s timing is perfect.
I want to get closer to God. He has not failed me yet and i need Him always. I will use whatever resources are available to receive His guidance.
I needed this devotion today. I have been struggling my whole life to please everyone and recently I feel like I’m failing miserably. I need to stop looking to people to fulfill my need for love and look to God for that fulfillment. Thank you.
I needed to hear this right now. I just got to work after shoveling snow for two hours. The pity I had for myself was tremendous. As a divorced woman I questioned where is help? Why doesn’t anyone feel I am worth helping? I realize after reading Renee’s Encouragement for Today, that I am looking for help from everyone else instead of putting my focus on where it should be. GOD. Thank you for the timely lesson!
Shely, I wish I was there to shovel that snow with you!! Your longing is real and at the core of every woman – we want to be taken care of and protected. If Jesus were still here in flesh and blood, He’d be right there shoveling with you :)Praying He would be your very present Help today!!
In life, God not only gives me unconditional love, but he sent me my soul mate 15 years ago after two failed marriages and I had given up on love, especially after one abusive mate. In death, I may or may not be remembered here on Earth, but my Heavenly Father’s unconditional love continues. How magnificent is that?! Thank you, God. And, Renee, thank YOU for sharing with all of us.
Amen. Such a sweet truth.
I relate to this so much. After a struggle with addiction and a recent divorce, I realized I was looking everywhere except to God to love and fill me. God just keeps speaking to me that if my focus is on him then I can be the woman, mom, friend and companion that he would have me to be regardless of the situation. And what a relief.
I wasn’t going to read this today but the Holy Spirit compelled me to open it. I am currently separated from my husband of 19 years who left our home 18 months ago. God has been using all types of messages and situations to help me understand that HE is the true source of unconditional love and that only through my complete surrender to Him will ever feel at peace with myself and the life He has given me. It is reaffirming to know that I am not alone in my struggles to accept God’s amazing love for me and to stop looking for that all encompassing love from another human being. Thank you for providing further insight that I needed to continue on my journey of healing and restoration through my Lord and Savior. God bless you and continue sharing the insights as you are led by His Holy Spirit.
I’d love to win this book.
I would Love to receive a copy of the Confident Heart Devotional:)
It would be an awesome source to help not only me but my children and husband too!
Have a Wonderful & Blessed day!!!
Smiles!
Tammy Dobson
Thank you Renee for this insightful devotion today! It really resonated with me. I am going through a tough time as my marriage is ending. I have recently gone back to work as a nail tech and it has been slow because I am starting over w/clientele. I realize @ times I am basing my self worth on lack of business. I keep thinking if I get busy and start making money it will be better. In reading what you said today helped me remember God loves me unconditionally and I can rest in the fact that He works all things together for good for those who love Him !!!
Like Louise, agree it is an on going process. As a 70+ woman, thought long ago all the insecurities would be put to rest, yet on This New day, I need to rest in Him, and ESPECIALLY at the end of the day will find that more so. Thanks for encouraging thoughts. Either book is fine.
I’ve been struck anew at the depth of God’s unconditional love in the last few weeks as I watch our newly adopted son try to “earn” our love. If I pause and reflect I realize that I am much like our Benjamin, trying to earn the love of a God who loves me unconditionally.
I would love to win the devotional!
Thank you for sharing your story. I feel like God talked to me through you today. I would love the confident heart devotional.
I enjoyed your devotional this morning so much. I would love to win The Confident Heart Devotional book. Your talent is God given and has helped many women including me.
For the past year my marriage has grown so much, simply from learning to understand the truth that my husband, no matter how much love he gives, how many things he does for me, or how much romance and passion we have in our marriage, can never fill those empty places in my life. Only God can. I have learned how unfair it is of me to even want my husband to try to meet these unrealistic expectations. It’s important to let God be God, and allow Him the places in my heart that belong to Him.
I got up this morning and ask God to speak to my heart. I read your devotional this morning and started crying because I have always my whole life was longing for someone to love me unconditional. . God spoke to my heart through your devotional that He Loves Me Unconditional. THANK YOU!! I would love a copy of your book A Confident Heart !
I would love a copy of A Confident Heart! This post was times perfectly for me. Being a wife and mom, I often seek their approval and try my best to make them love me. I know they do but they are not responsible for my happiness. I have been learning how to work hard for God’s glory and His approval. Not theirs.
Dear Renee,
I read your Encouragement for the day through Biblegateway. I find it too be uplifting and enlightening. I have been a Christian since I was 15 years old and God stopped me from committing suicide. I had felt unloved and the emotional pain became physical pain and was unbearable. I literally walked around for hours in the wee morning hours trying to figure out how to end it all when I came upon a 24 hour chapel. No one was there. I cried out from the altar, God if you are real take my life I can’t stand it anymore. For the first time ever that I had heard His voice, and felt HIs presence – He said He loved me – No grand list of Scripture or monologue. Just I love you, but with that, for the first time in my life I felt unconditional love. I knew that God loved ME! I wish to say that things got better & circumstances changed, they did not for awhile. I left home searching for fulfillment, but I never doubted God loved me. But I didn’t know what that meant. I grew up, met a Christian man who started me on my journey learning about God. I was a sponge. We got married, had three children. I remembered from whence I came and swore my children would not grow up ignorant of of God. I became dogmatic, sheltering my kids from the harsh world, submerging them into Gods Word not just reading it to them but pushing them into everything with God hanging over their heads. I now have 3 grown children who don’t truly know God’s unconditional love because they know all the rules, they know head knowledge of who God is, they haven’t found that unconditional love. My heart knows that God promised me that my children will one day serve Him and have that relationship with Him and I stand daily on that promise. God’s love became conditional to me, You must do this in order to please Him. That is what religion has done to Christianity. I am pleased to share I have learned unconditional love, I receive and accept it daily. God has lead me to start a nonprofit organization that does just that. People who are struggling come to us, we help take care of basic needs and share the love of God with them. We are not a shelter though we partner with shelters, we are not a food bank though we partner with food banks, we do help with clothing, furniture, rent/utility assistance, job search, preparing for job interviews, finding medical/mental health, etc. Whatever need they present with we assist with direct or indirect resources. But the most important thing we do is listen, nonjudgmental, love on them, being the hands and feet of Jesus. Sharing His love and His Word as we attend to their needs. My children see a different mother. One that shares the love of Jesus with them, not hit them over the head with it. Allows them to be who they are, knowing that it is the Holy Spirits job to bring them to understanding of who God is. My job is to just love them. We are having great conversations, and I as so grateful to God for the time now. But my middle son is one of those who has a lot head knowledge, but no application. He has turned away from God because no matter how hard he tried it seemed that nothing ever went right, so he has taken a self-destructive path. He has had multiple relationships and has several children with different women that he tried to “save.” Recently, our conversations has been good, sharing about different Scriptures and I am deep into studies. I would love to receive the “5 Love Languages for Singles” to give to him, if it is at all possible. He longs for a relationship where he can have a wife and children. He doesn’t understand that what he needs only God can fill. I know God will help me get one, if not from you, He will make a way. 🙂 Have a beautiful blessed day in the Lord! Thank you for letting me share with you. Debbie
Confidence is something I’ve struggled with for a while now. I’ve always wondered, “How can someone, such as myself, love God with their whole heart and yet, still feel empty?” After reading the daily devotions from your Proverbs 31 Ministries, I’m beginning to see that we all struggle with “belonging.” We seek opportunities that we believe will fulfill our needs and desires, but they are fleeting at each attempt.
I learned how to become strong and independent as a young girl. Through an unexpected twist in my life, I had to keep moving, but really my heart was crying out. I learned how to numb myself to all the twists and turns that knocked at my door. I became good at covering things up. What I was not good at, was allowing Jesus to soothe my worries and fears about who I was inside. I created a wall of self-criticisms that tore me apart at every chance, but I never stopped longing for Him. I always knew He was waiting to embrace me.
It refreshes my heart to know that I no longer have to allow my mind to hold me captive! God accepts who I am and only asks that I embrace Him with my whole being. We each have our own struggles, but it does not have to destroy us. We can choose to accept ourselves for who we are and allow His grace to cover us in all areas that we fear!
I would really love to read your “A Confident Heart Devotional!” I’ve heard about it on the radio and have many times wanted to experience it!
Thank you for what you shared Jamie about with God we don’t have to allow our thoughts to hold us captive or let our struggles destroy us! I am going to write that down!
I read the excerpt from Proverbs 31 Ministries and it truly touched my heart. This would be an awesome book to read to strengthen my own heart! Thank you so much for such a simple yet powerful eye opener!
Like you, I am seeking that unconditional “forever” love, as I call it. I am learning to be satisfied with my life and know that Go is available to fill the void. It’s hard, and it’s a daily struggle, but I will get there. I’ve had dreams of rekindling a love with an old flame, but I am constantly reminded that the relationship didn’t work for a reason. I’m also learning to love my self, because if I don’t, no one else can, or will! Many people have recommended reading the 5 love languages. I have that on my to do list. I would love to win it.
Would love this to help with daily struggles, thank you
I AM IN THE CENTER OF THIS RIGHT NOW. In the last 6 months I have taken my life from peace to total Kaos because I sought the love of a man over the love of God. My Father warned me in His Word about the character of the man I married, yet I did not believe Him and went ahead with the marriage. In seeking forgiveness and answers in prayer, the Holy Spirit revealed to me, ” You wanted to believe in your husband more that you wanted to believe in me.” As events have unfolded I am now married to a man who has stage 3 lung cancer, MRSA staph infections and an active addiction to crack cocaine. How foolish we are as women, continuing to look for affirmation and love in flawed human beings! I still do not understand how God can fill the flesh desires of a women. I know the enternal things are more important than the temporary desires of the flesh, but as humans and as women who have the need to be loved by another male human, it is difficult to conceive and get past the flesh of the satisfaction of holding hands, taking walks together, making love or being able to look into your husbands eyes. All temporary I know, but purhaps this is the curse from Eve. “and your desire shall be for your husband” ? When a desire for human love takes you to places of disobedience against God, it is a horribly painful place to be. As many have said before me……”If I had it to do all over again…”
I always thought God’s love was based on how good I was or how often I went to confession
And asked forgiveness for my sins. I still look for others to fill the emptyness in my heart, have been
Rejected by many and it causes me to lose a lot of relationships because of my constant need for fulfillment
From others instead of going to God first. I have just started realizing that God accepts me and loves me unconditionally. I have to learn to accept His love and stop expecting people to fill that
Void in my heart. Thank-you! Renee! I really needed this encouragement today.
Janet Daniel
I loved today’s devotional. I have countless times craved an ex boyfriend and done a lot of crazy things for love and almost always without fail my efforts have gone unrecognized. I loved the discussion questions and have caused me to now sort things out with God to recognize what I was wanting from my ex’s and how I can get those things from God. If I win I would like a copy of the devotional.
I have recently joined Proverbs 31. I did an OBS with A confident heart and really learned plenty of tools. My problem is that I have not made it a habit yet to use the tools when needed. I find myself struggling than scraping for the tools. This book is daily not when needed.
“All you have ever wanted is unconditional love.” That validates me at the core. It really is my fault for expecting it where it can’t be found.
The verse from from Psalms was perfect to start my morning! The story reminded me of a young girl I work with and challenged me to pray for her. So many opportunities to minister at work. Your devotional would be a great gift.
I absolutely loved today’s devotional and immediately shared it with my four teenage children. It is my desire that my children have godly relationships beginning with our heavenly Father and his son Jesus. I definitely want them to embrace the unconditional love that God has for us and not to look for love in all the wrong places. Thanks for sharing your story! I would love to win The Confident Heat Devotional. God Bless!
I struggle with looking to others for approval. I need to finish reading “A Confident Heart”.
I would like “The Five Languages of Love Singles Edition”
Thanks!
I loved this devotional today it really spoke into some depthsof my life that have never been spoken to. Sometimes I struggle with accepting any kind of love as I walk through life feeling rejected. I know God loves me, He has called me to great thing but for some reason I cant accept the unconditional part.Though each day I passionately weep with desire for more of His love, or a true revelation of who He is.
Wow….this devotional really spoke to me about why we have that need for unconditional love…..so it will draw me to God!!!!! Trust is a huge issue for me!!!!! I would really love to win one of these books!!