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“What a [woman] desires is unfailing love …” Proverbs 19:22a (NIV)
I had everything I wanted yet felt empty and confused.
My life was full of relationships and accomplishments I’d worked hard to gain, but none could fill or fulfill me.
Frustrated by my aching emptiness, tears streamed down my face as I thought about the guy I dated through high school and college. Our future plans had crumbled under the pressure of me expecting him to be all I needed.
I had been crazy about him — a little too crazy.
Like the time a friend mentioned my ex-boyfriend was heading to our hometown for the weekend. We worked near each other, so Friday afternoon I parked by his office and waited for him to leave.
We both “happened” to be at the same fast food restaurant, at the same time and bumped into each other. After getting my order, I got in my car and followed behind him, hoping he’d see me, realize he couldn’t live without me and signal to pull over so we could talk.
Seriously, what was I thinking? As you can guess, he never stopped. I was hopeless and humiliated…
A few weeks later, I was taking a walk around my college campus. My eyes drifted to the buildings, dorms and other landmarks of memories. Suddenly my mind filled with a collage of faces, reminding me of my efforts to win the approval of advisors, friends and professors — hoping their affirmation could fill my emptiness.
Although I was graduating soon, had a few great job offers and achieved success in many ways, my heart still felt restless. And I couldn’t help but wonder: Why was all that I had never enough?
A thought rushed through my soul, stringing together two words I had never put next to each other. I sensed God answering me.
Renee, all you have ever wanted is unconditional love.
Unconditional love? I didn’t know there was such a thing. Then God whispered into my soul: You’ll never find the love you long for in anyone or anything but Me. I AM the unconditional love you’re looking for.
The thought of God loving me without any conditions was inconceivable, yet something deep in my soul told me it was true. I’d been looking for love that didn’t have to be earned. Love I didn’t have to fear losing.
Honestly, it was hard to see how God’s love could fill the emptiness in my heart. It took time, but I came to understand that God created me with that need for fulfillment so He could meet it.
Proverbs 19:22a, says, “What a person desires is unfailing love.”
The word “desire” comes from the Hebrew word ta’avah, which means: to greatly long for, deeply desire or crave. Interestingly, unfailing love is mentioned over 30 times in the Bible, and not once is it in reference to a person. It is only attributed to God.
Could it be that God gave us a desire for unfailing love, because He knew it could lead us back to Him?
If today’s post resonated with you, I hope you’ll ENTER TO WIN (This giveaway has ended, but I’d still love to hear from you!)
a copy of my new Confident Heart Devotional. I truly believe the stories and truths in it will change your life {like they have mine}!
Based on honest struggles we all have with comparison, self-doubt, fear of failing, and the life-changing lessons God’s taught me and ten other women, {whose stories are in the book} you will discover how to change the way you feel by changing the way you think – which will transform the way you live!
Expanding on what readers of my first book LOVED most: “When I say … God says …” statements, I’ve written 60 new devotions and new {WISGS} statements to equip you with a new a thought map and a promise – to live in every day!
ENTER TO WIN (This giveaway has ended, but I’d still love to hear from you!)
Share your thoughts in the comments below to WIN one of 5 copies of my A Confident Heart Devotional or a copy of The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition for you or a friend. Be sure to let us know which book you’d like to win!
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I would love to win a copy of The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition. God is bringing me to a place of knowing that His love is unconditional because I too have longed for something that no human can provide. It’s a process and it takes time but it is well worth it. While I still have times of loneliness (who doesn’t?) I can sense myself moving away from the, “I’m-so-miserable-because-I’m-single-and-all my- friends-are-not” stage and into something deeper with my Lord, the lover of my soul. I am so much more content with my life and myself as I transition into this new attitude, this new “stage” which is happening in conjunction with a new spiritual stage in which I learn to love God more while also learning to love myself more.
I loved today’s devotion. Thank you so much for sharing your talents and stories with us!
I was brought to tears as I read todays devotion..not only do i struggle with trying to please others but have a teenage daughter who we just found out was in a verbally abusive relationship. Seeing the defeat in her eyes and the eagerness she has in just trying to please others and fit it no matter what the cost is devastating as a parent. I honestly know that the only person who can help her at this point is God. She needs him now more than ever and i would love to win this book for her…
One of the best things that ever happened in my martiage was when I realized that the discontentment I had been feeling was due to the fact that I was looking to my husband to love me snd fulfill me in a way that only God could. Of course he wasn’t living up to expectations- he is only human! Once I understood this, I could see he is loving me to the best of his ability, and appreciate him for it! Looking to God for God things not only brought me closer to the Lord, but strenghtened my marriage also.
I really struggle with understanding and believing that God is enough. I tend to look to others to fulfill my need for unfailing love and would love to win a copy of A Confident Heart to help me understanding and focus on the love of God.
Hi Renee! Thank you SO much for sharing your experiences in the blog post as well as your book A Confident Heart! As I read it, I kept thinking, wow she really does know my life! If felt really good to know that I am not alone in those experiences, and to learn how to combat negative thinking and put my confidence and trust in the Lord, the only One who can satisfy my heart’s longings! Can’t wait to read more from you. Either book would be lovely, but if I have to choose I will choose your devotional!
This speaks right to my heart. Trying to find true passion and worth.
I realize God is our maker and he shows us unconditional love through the beautiful creation he has created, through the people who he puts in our lives, through the gifts and talents he gives us. But where I struggle is the quiet times when I know God is present but I do not know what to do with his love. I have lost some of my self confidence to share God’s love with others so I sit and just be. It’s not a very comfortable spot as I am a doer, a sharer. But I continue to remember that God loves me and I must depend on his unconditional love balancing the love I also have for my husband and family.
Bless your ministry Renee. It is a bright spot in my life connecting with other Christian ladies and hearing their stories. We all have a story to tell, don’t we?
I would love to have your devotional.
“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart” Jeremiah 29:13. This became one of my life prayers during a particular season of heartache and heartbreak. Jesus asked me and I sought after Him, and found Him. How beautiful and kind He is and has been to me ever since. I am not married and prefer this rather than the term ‘single’. Single reminds of oneness, without another. I know for sure that with Jesus I am more than enough and am never without. He is the “lover of my soul”. Thank you for letting me share this. Please consider me for a copy of the Five Love Languages.
I Thank God this morning that he placed it on my heart to take the time to read today’s message…wow your message spoke VOLUMES!
I think everyone desires to be loved unconditionally…no matter your circumstances. May your day be truly Blessed….I know mine will be after reading your inspirational message.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’ve often struggled with trying to impress or win the approval of others, instead of focusing on what God wants me to do.
The last 7 years has just been an uphill climb. I am just plain weary and can use all the encouragement I can get. It seems my “confident heart” has lost its confidence and could use a boost. Prayers would be great also! All of the ministry’s online studies are such a staple for me. Finding them was a God send at a time when I needed them the most. Thank you!
I would like to read you Confident Heart. I am the polar opposite of confident heart. I present on the outside all the things various people need from me but on the inside darkness is a growing shadow. My childhood was filled with the words “your not good enough” or ” you weren’t wanted”.. To fully grasp and believe God loves me unconditionally after all my failures and falls. It is hard to grasp. In this moment I am trying to seek God and the light in the darkness I am facing. Some days the doubts and the devils voice taunt me and say … See even God see that and does not love it. I have not struggled like this before but this dark season has been a long one and I seek a study that I could focus on to remind me of the women I am in Christ and that I am truly loved, accepted and beloved. I just lost my job so now would be the perfect time to focus on God and not all the ” failings”. Thank you for letting me speak my heart.
As a young girl I wanted to be loved so bad, I was always chasing the guys.
I have two older brothers so there were lots of them to chase. At the young age of 15 I began a relationship with the wonderful guy who became my husband when I was19 and he was 22.
I did not know of God’s unconditional love and really expected my husband to make me happy.
In 1994 we came to know Jesus as our saviour through our teenage daughter and the second half of our marriage gets better and better.
Thank you for this devotional today. It is a good reminder that God is our source and everything we need is found in Him. As we draw near to him, he will draw near to us and satisfy us with everything we need. Thank you Lord. Thank you Renee.
I want to read more from this book. I was exactly where you were. I still have friends who have been married many years that are trying to make their spouses this kind of love for them. I would love to have this book as a more resource when I talk to them about how Jesus has to be enough. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much for your vulnerability. I feel like in today’s society there is so much unspoken pressure to be more and do more, and even though we aren’t doing it for the recognition- this devotional helped me to realize that we ARE! Maybe we aren’t trying to be the best or get promoted, but we are seeking approval of some sort- from ourselves, our spouses, our peers… We are driven to please and be deified by others when truly the only thing that matters is pleasing God and accepting and RECOGNIZING his edification and unconditional love for us. It reminds me of the new Amy grant song- don’t try so hard. Lord- help me to renew my focus and confidence in YOU. I do not need to look for acceptance or approval through my achievements but through your truth alone! Can’t wait to read more of the confident heart book you were talking about!
This devo resonated in my soul. This was me. As a little girl, teen, young woman and now a married middle aged woman with 2 kids. The only conclusion I too was provided was that only God could ever meet that eternal void in my heart. I tried to fill a God sized need with eartly things but failed miserably. To put that expectation on a human was unfair to them. Thank God for that revelation. I am now free to turn to God for complete fulfillment.
This devotional was exactly what I needed to read and hear this morning. I have been struggling recently (and underwraps for a LONG time), trying to fill myself up with love and affirmation from people and things in my life, especially by my husband. He is a wonderful, devoted man and I continue to look to him for unconditional love which only God can provide. While I KNOW my husband truly loves me, he can’t fill the void, emptiness, and restlessness in my heart. Just last night I had a complete breakdown and revealed to my husband all the emptiness and insecurities I was feeling and asked for him to pray for me. This morning I received this devotional. What a God thing! He is working. I would love to win this devotional to help me to be filled with God’s unconditional love, stop depending on my husband (and food), and to look to God and know He will provide for my desires. Thank you for this wonderful devotional I SO needed to read this morning!
I have your book, Confident Heart, and have had it for two years now. I even signed up for the online bible study twice. But I have yet to complete the book or the study. I think bc it’s just been too painful, too real, too true, and I wasn’t in the right..place..yet. I believe I am ready now. Thank you, Renee, for your openness, your honesty, your transparency in sharing your heart and struggles. God is using you as a mouthpiece to speak to women everywhere.
I do place too much expectations on others to fill my love tank. And deep down I know only God can satisfy that void. I pray that His love is what I would deeply desire and would draw me back to him.