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“What a [woman] desires is unfailing love …” Proverbs 19:22a (NIV)
I had everything I wanted yet felt empty and confused.
My life was full of relationships and accomplishments I’d worked hard to gain, but none could fill or fulfill me.
Frustrated by my aching emptiness, tears streamed down my face as I thought about the guy I dated through high school and college. Our future plans had crumbled under the pressure of me expecting him to be all I needed.
I had been crazy about him — a little too crazy.
Like the time a friend mentioned my ex-boyfriend was heading to our hometown for the weekend. We worked near each other, so Friday afternoon I parked by his office and waited for him to leave.
We both “happened” to be at the same fast food restaurant, at the same time and bumped into each other. After getting my order, I got in my car and followed behind him, hoping he’d see me, realize he couldn’t live without me and signal to pull over so we could talk.
Seriously, what was I thinking? As you can guess, he never stopped. I was hopeless and humiliated…
A few weeks later, I was taking a walk around my college campus. My eyes drifted to the buildings, dorms and other landmarks of memories. Suddenly my mind filled with a collage of faces, reminding me of my efforts to win the approval of advisors, friends and professors — hoping their affirmation could fill my emptiness.
Although I was graduating soon, had a few great job offers and achieved success in many ways, my heart still felt restless. And I couldn’t help but wonder: Why was all that I had never enough?
A thought rushed through my soul, stringing together two words I had never put next to each other. I sensed God answering me.
Renee, all you have ever wanted is unconditional love.
Unconditional love? I didn’t know there was such a thing. Then God whispered into my soul: You’ll never find the love you long for in anyone or anything but Me. I AM the unconditional love you’re looking for.
The thought of God loving me without any conditions was inconceivable, yet something deep in my soul told me it was true. I’d been looking for love that didn’t have to be earned. Love I didn’t have to fear losing.
Honestly, it was hard to see how God’s love could fill the emptiness in my heart. It took time, but I came to understand that God created me with that need for fulfillment so He could meet it.
Proverbs 19:22a, says, “What a person desires is unfailing love.”
The word “desire” comes from the Hebrew word ta’avah, which means: to greatly long for, deeply desire or crave. Interestingly, unfailing love is mentioned over 30 times in the Bible, and not once is it in reference to a person. It is only attributed to God.
Could it be that God gave us a desire for unfailing love, because He knew it could lead us back to Him?
If today’s post resonated with you, I hope you’ll ENTER TO WIN (This giveaway has ended, but I’d still love to hear from you!)
a copy of my new Confident Heart Devotional. I truly believe the stories and truths in it will change your life {like they have mine}!
Based on honest struggles we all have with comparison, self-doubt, fear of failing, and the life-changing lessons God’s taught me and ten other women, {whose stories are in the book} you will discover how to change the way you feel by changing the way you think – which will transform the way you live!
Expanding on what readers of my first book LOVED most: “When I say … God says …” statements, I’ve written 60 new devotions and new {WISGS} statements to equip you with a new a thought map and a promise – to live in every day!
ENTER TO WIN (This giveaway has ended, but I’d still love to hear from you!)
Share your thoughts in the comments below to WIN one of 5 copies of my A Confident Heart Devotional or a copy of The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition for you or a friend. Be sure to let us know which book you’d like to win!
I would love to win the Confident Heart Devotional. I’m reading A Confident Heart now and WOW!!!! It’s like I wrote it myself! It is ministering so much to me. I’m so tgNkful to have stumbled upon the book. I have so much hope for my life now!
I wish when I was younger I would have known God better to understand all of that. I would love to read your book and be able to reflect on areas I still may be searching for someone else’s approval. So I would love if I could win your devotional
Thank you, Renee. Your words are so encouraging and easy to relate to similar personal experiences. My husband passed away three years ago and I still struggle with being single. This experience of loneliness has taught me that God is our only unconditional, lasting love. Look forward to more of your blogs.
This message was delivered to me at the perfect time this morning. I’ve battled disordered eating and horrible body image issues for a few years now. There are times when I’m “good” and times when I can’t seem to shake the old habits and thoughts. This week is one of those low times! It is causing issues in my marriage, and stealing our joy. As an intelligent and educated woman I know that logically I should be able to beat this and know that God is my source of happiness, but sometimes it seems so hard.
Today I needed that Word to remind me that my body shouldn’t be my source of happiness and fulfillment. This is still a battle and I will continue to fight it, today with renewed strength in the Lord. Working toward a confident heart I hope!
Thank you!
Thank you for the amazing devotional! Finding security in people is one of my biggest struggle. I’m learning thst only God can fulfill that unconditional love. I was married to a Christian guy for 10 years…learned later he was living a double life during our marriage..my life crumbles before me. I thought by marrying a christian guy, we eill have a fairy tale life….being a Christian or not we all face trials. Now, im recently divorced with 2 young kids and one with special needs….through my pain and sufferings, i do see God’s unconditional love for Me and my children. All i needed was God’s unconditional love. No matter what happens in my life with God i will be more than ok 🙂
I have so appreciated your devotionals Renee. I always feel that God uses you to speak to me. Lately I have felt God nudging my heart and saying – Elaine, aren’t I enough? My head knows that, but my heart is a little slow, as I continue to crave approval. I am a work in progress 🙂 I have “A Confident Heart” and felt it was written for me. The accompanying devotional would be special too, I know.
I am so blessed. My husband went out of state to work after we “lost” the farm in the 80’s. What a complete change in my life. I still went to work, ‘reared” the 3 children, and taught the Young Adult Sunday School class. While preparing the SS lesson, I realized that the LORD had taken a new place in my life. I came to know him as my best friend. On Sunday, I asked the couples class, “Who is your best friend?” No one named Jesus. I shared how the absence of my husband had shown me who our true best friend really is. The promise of Romans 8:28 has carried me through the past 3 decades. We continue to grow that relationship day by day. All other relationships are sweeter because of this wondrous unfailing love.
Thank you for sharing this today! For years I have struggled with confidence. There seems to always be someone saying I am just not good enough…not smart enough, not skinny enough, not….on and on. I, too, desire to be filled with the God confidence that He only can provide. That deep peace I have from knowing I am His is a gift — and trusting in the fact that I am enough because I am a child of God, sadly, comes and goes from time to time. I would love to win a copy of your book to learn new thought patterns to glorify our Lord!! God bless you and thank you for serving all of us in this ministry.
Great devotion! I read through proverbs 31 e-mail. Really it’s home. Great job.
Oh Renee… I laughed when you told the story of ‘stalking’ the ex-boyfriend! After becoming a widow, a gentleman was pursuing me but not as fast as I’d like so I’d make ‘subtle’ comments (which he later informed me weren’t so subtle!) about our relationship. Thankfully, he was moving at the pace God had for us & God began to show me that He was my perfect husband & everyone else would let me down. As I stepped into that Truth, there was a freedom & I no longer was ‘pressured’ to be with someone. It’s such a blessing, knowing my identity is in Him alone & He knows His girl’s heart! I’d love to wine the ‘Confident Heart’ devo. Loved the book & on-line study!
Thanks so much for sharing about your journey. I could directly relate to the way I strive in every setting to attain my desires and not God’s. Lord, help me to seek first your kingdom and all these things will be added to me.
Thank you for the devotions you share. every one touches my heart in a special way. This one however, took me back to when I realized the truth of unconditional Love, and it is still an amazing memory and way of life. 🙂
God had to separate me from my family to finally allow me to see His unfailing love for me. Most days are difficult still because I’m still lonely and estranged from my grown children and their father. It would be good to have this devo to read and remind me of who’s I am on a daily basis. Thank you for putting it together for the lost and brokenhearted.
I love this devotional I have so done this. Now I’m in a good place and I trust God to fulfill my deepest desires and longing!!!
I have recently come to realize that my disconnected feelings from God have been the result of my need to control the relationships and environment around me in an effort to feel valued and unconditionally loved by people in my life. It pains me to say that this has been a life long habit, but now with Jesus’ help my heart and mind will be reformed and made anew.
I often find myself looking to others for approval. Approval for decisions I need to make,how I dress, how my house is decorated, the list just goes on and on. This need to be accepted and loved can spiral out of control and I have found myself making commitments to friends and doing things my heart just wasn’t into, in order to please others. I have several friendships I would say are just superficial because I fear being real, on account I may offend someone. Now that I am a new mom with a three week old little girl I want to set a Godly example for her.I don’t want insecurities to plague my sweet girl. I want her security and esteem for who she is to come from Her relationship with The Lord not from this world. This devotional was a great reminder that security and unfailing love can only come from God. After all he is the only one who truly accepts us as we are. Thanks for being real and sharing your story.
I did the P31 OBS of “A Confident Heart” and it helped me so much! I regained my sense of identity after a trying year with my husband. Now, I feel more secure and confident in myself as a result, since I now believe who I am in Christ is a beloved daughter of God, and no one can take that away from me.
I think the devotional would be such a blessing to win, since there are days and circumstances that still send me reeling into a wave of self-doubt and fear/anxiety. It would be a hand reference for when I need strength from above!
And, I’ve read the 5 Love Languages for couples, and found it to be very helpful info, and I know a few singles in my life, so I think the other book would be a wonderful resource to share.
Thank you so much Renee for helping thousands of women conquer their fears and live confidently in God’s promises!
I have been in a season of constant struggle it seems and hating myself seems to accompany this struggle like a cold side dish to a very tasteless meal. I have reached a turning point in my life where it seems everything I thought would bring me purpose has failed. My job; the love of a man; all of the things I thought made life purposeful seems to have crumbled and to put the icing on the cake it seems everyone around me is getting just what I’m lacking; careers and marriages and children. And I feel like I’m just stuck. But in the past couple of weeks something has surfaced that’s beginning to change things and give me peace in this moment; none of those things will ever totally fill me because they are only human and like me they don’t get it all right all the time. Right here and right now God says I’m enough and I’m loved and there’s a peace in that even if I still don’t like where I’m at in life or the feelings I feel. God loves me and He knows where this will lead if I hang in there.
Thank you for sharing your gift of writing to help me get to a place to position my heart to God and get past this hard spot in my life. And either book would ne a blessing!
Reading this devotional reminded me that I truly am seeking love and approval – but in the past few months I’ve had God open my eyes to the fact that I’ve been seeking those from my professors, my boss, my friends – rather than the only One that can satisfy completely. I’ve been struggling with confidence in my abilities to be a physical therapist since I am a student in the program now and just had my feet knocked out from under me. However God whispered to me that his love is unconditional, even through my failures. Thank you again for the reminder that it is true!! I would love to have a copy of your book to grow in my confidence as I follow Christ! Have a fantastic day.
I really appreciate your devotional this morning. it was exactly what I not necessarily wanted, but needed to hear. I would love to win a copy of your “confident heart devotional”. thank you for doing what you do!
I would love to win a copy of The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition. God is bringing me to a place of knowing that His love is unconditional because I too have longed for something that no human can provide. It’s a process and it takes time but it is well worth it. While I still have times of loneliness (who doesn’t?) I can sense myself moving away from the, “I’m-so-miserable-because-I’m-single-and-all my- friends-are-not” stage and into something deeper with my Lord, the lover of my soul. I am so much more content with my life and myself as I transition into this new attitude, this new “stage” which is happening in conjunction with a new spiritual stage in which I learn to love God more while also learning to love myself more.
I loved today’s devotion. Thank you so much for sharing your talents and stories with us!
I was brought to tears as I read todays devotion..not only do i struggle with trying to please others but have a teenage daughter who we just found out was in a verbally abusive relationship. Seeing the defeat in her eyes and the eagerness she has in just trying to please others and fit it no matter what the cost is devastating as a parent. I honestly know that the only person who can help her at this point is God. She needs him now more than ever and i would love to win this book for her…
One of the best things that ever happened in my martiage was when I realized that the discontentment I had been feeling was due to the fact that I was looking to my husband to love me snd fulfill me in a way that only God could. Of course he wasn’t living up to expectations- he is only human! Once I understood this, I could see he is loving me to the best of his ability, and appreciate him for it! Looking to God for God things not only brought me closer to the Lord, but strenghtened my marriage also.
I really struggle with understanding and believing that God is enough. I tend to look to others to fulfill my need for unfailing love and would love to win a copy of A Confident Heart to help me understanding and focus on the love of God.
Hi Renee! Thank you SO much for sharing your experiences in the blog post as well as your book A Confident Heart! As I read it, I kept thinking, wow she really does know my life! If felt really good to know that I am not alone in those experiences, and to learn how to combat negative thinking and put my confidence and trust in the Lord, the only One who can satisfy my heart’s longings! Can’t wait to read more from you. Either book would be lovely, but if I have to choose I will choose your devotional!
This speaks right to my heart. Trying to find true passion and worth.
I realize God is our maker and he shows us unconditional love through the beautiful creation he has created, through the people who he puts in our lives, through the gifts and talents he gives us. But where I struggle is the quiet times when I know God is present but I do not know what to do with his love. I have lost some of my self confidence to share God’s love with others so I sit and just be. It’s not a very comfortable spot as I am a doer, a sharer. But I continue to remember that God loves me and I must depend on his unconditional love balancing the love I also have for my husband and family.
Bless your ministry Renee. It is a bright spot in my life connecting with other Christian ladies and hearing their stories. We all have a story to tell, don’t we?
I would love to have your devotional.
“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart” Jeremiah 29:13. This became one of my life prayers during a particular season of heartache and heartbreak. Jesus asked me and I sought after Him, and found Him. How beautiful and kind He is and has been to me ever since. I am not married and prefer this rather than the term ‘single’. Single reminds of oneness, without another. I know for sure that with Jesus I am more than enough and am never without. He is the “lover of my soul”. Thank you for letting me share this. Please consider me for a copy of the Five Love Languages.
I Thank God this morning that he placed it on my heart to take the time to read today’s message…wow your message spoke VOLUMES!
I think everyone desires to be loved unconditionally…no matter your circumstances. May your day be truly Blessed….I know mine will be after reading your inspirational message.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’ve often struggled with trying to impress or win the approval of others, instead of focusing on what God wants me to do.
The last 7 years has just been an uphill climb. I am just plain weary and can use all the encouragement I can get. It seems my “confident heart” has lost its confidence and could use a boost. Prayers would be great also! All of the ministry’s online studies are such a staple for me. Finding them was a God send at a time when I needed them the most. Thank you!
I would like to read you Confident Heart. I am the polar opposite of confident heart. I present on the outside all the things various people need from me but on the inside darkness is a growing shadow. My childhood was filled with the words “your not good enough” or ” you weren’t wanted”.. To fully grasp and believe God loves me unconditionally after all my failures and falls. It is hard to grasp. In this moment I am trying to seek God and the light in the darkness I am facing. Some days the doubts and the devils voice taunt me and say … See even God see that and does not love it. I have not struggled like this before but this dark season has been a long one and I seek a study that I could focus on to remind me of the women I am in Christ and that I am truly loved, accepted and beloved. I just lost my job so now would be the perfect time to focus on God and not all the ” failings”. Thank you for letting me speak my heart.
As a young girl I wanted to be loved so bad, I was always chasing the guys.
I have two older brothers so there were lots of them to chase. At the young age of 15 I began a relationship with the wonderful guy who became my husband when I was19 and he was 22.
I did not know of God’s unconditional love and really expected my husband to make me happy.
In 1994 we came to know Jesus as our saviour through our teenage daughter and the second half of our marriage gets better and better.
Thank you for this devotional today. It is a good reminder that God is our source and everything we need is found in Him. As we draw near to him, he will draw near to us and satisfy us with everything we need. Thank you Lord. Thank you Renee.
I want to read more from this book. I was exactly where you were. I still have friends who have been married many years that are trying to make their spouses this kind of love for them. I would love to have this book as a more resource when I talk to them about how Jesus has to be enough. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much for your vulnerability. I feel like in today’s society there is so much unspoken pressure to be more and do more, and even though we aren’t doing it for the recognition- this devotional helped me to realize that we ARE! Maybe we aren’t trying to be the best or get promoted, but we are seeking approval of some sort- from ourselves, our spouses, our peers… We are driven to please and be deified by others when truly the only thing that matters is pleasing God and accepting and RECOGNIZING his edification and unconditional love for us. It reminds me of the new Amy grant song- don’t try so hard. Lord- help me to renew my focus and confidence in YOU. I do not need to look for acceptance or approval through my achievements but through your truth alone! Can’t wait to read more of the confident heart book you were talking about!
This devo resonated in my soul. This was me. As a little girl, teen, young woman and now a married middle aged woman with 2 kids. The only conclusion I too was provided was that only God could ever meet that eternal void in my heart. I tried to fill a God sized need with eartly things but failed miserably. To put that expectation on a human was unfair to them. Thank God for that revelation. I am now free to turn to God for complete fulfillment.
This devotional was exactly what I needed to read and hear this morning. I have been struggling recently (and underwraps for a LONG time), trying to fill myself up with love and affirmation from people and things in my life, especially by my husband. He is a wonderful, devoted man and I continue to look to him for unconditional love which only God can provide. While I KNOW my husband truly loves me, he can’t fill the void, emptiness, and restlessness in my heart. Just last night I had a complete breakdown and revealed to my husband all the emptiness and insecurities I was feeling and asked for him to pray for me. This morning I received this devotional. What a God thing! He is working. I would love to win this devotional to help me to be filled with God’s unconditional love, stop depending on my husband (and food), and to look to God and know He will provide for my desires. Thank you for this wonderful devotional I SO needed to read this morning!
I have your book, Confident Heart, and have had it for two years now. I even signed up for the online bible study twice. But I have yet to complete the book or the study. I think bc it’s just been too painful, too real, too true, and I wasn’t in the right..place..yet. I believe I am ready now. Thank you, Renee, for your openness, your honesty, your transparency in sharing your heart and struggles. God is using you as a mouthpiece to speak to women everywhere.
I do place too much expectations on others to fill my love tank. And deep down I know only God can satisfy that void. I pray that His love is what I would deeply desire and would draw me back to him.
Bible Gateway’s encouragement devotionals taken from ministries such as yours uplift me and guides me in my walk with God. Thank you for your obedience to God’s calling on your life!!!
Love your teaching Renee! <3
Renee, Oh how you spoke to me, and frankly, about me. I found this website just a couple of hours ago and when I read this I couldn’t believe my eyes. You did exactly what I do. You may never know the magnitude of how much your honesty about yourself has saved so many of us but let me say that I could never Thank You enough for opening my eyes with the answer to my problem. God Bless You Renee! I would love to have a copy of your book, ” A Confident Heart Devotional.”
Sincerely,
Stephanie Bennett
Good morning and happy Wednesday everyone,
I really enjoyed the devotional . Thank you Renee. Around the time I read the Confident Heart I was really low in my spiritual life. I felt like God didn’t love me nor did he care to answer my prayers . At the same time my relationship of many years was falling apart, but that’s when I found out about the Proberbs 31 bible study using the Confident Heart which helped me realize I was looking in all the wrong places for love. I am still a work in progress but since then I have gained so much confidence in the plans God has for me and I trust he will work in my favorite . I love how God tells us if we put ” of hope in God we will not be disappointed”. Winning this devotional will help me continue my journey with God! Thank you. Have a great day everyone
As a single again mom of two, I find myself thinking that a husband would solve all my problems: my loneliness,fears,longing for companionship. Thank you for the reminder that the deep longings of my heart can only be satisfied by the love of the Savior, because only He can love me completely. This is something I know I need to work on; changing my response to my longings from frustration and sadness to a crying out to Jesus and a thankful heart that He delights to satisfy the longings of my heart. God bless!!!
Thank you so much for your encouraging words. Each day I am reminded that only God can fill any void I have thank you JESUS
It has taken me a lifetime of 37 years, a failed marriage and losing my children for several years to learn that Jesus is truly the only one who can fill my heart with unfailing love. I cannot imagine my life now without my daily walk with my Savior and Best Friend. He is enough.
I feel immensely blessed to know that I am loved unconditionally by my Lord and Savior. My heart aches for those trying to find acceptance from the world, and I so want to share with the wonderful women in my life, that that only the Lord can fill that God-shaped hole deep within us. Breathing in His unconditional presence and deep love for us daily, gives us the peace and heavenly desire to help others know their beauty in Him. At 53, I have finally come to realize all the traps of this world, that will try to seize our feelings of worthiness and beauty. When we fill up with nourishment from God’s Word daily, our thoughts align with His about our value and purpose for this earthly life. Oh, to help women and girls see their beauty to Him alone! Lord, make be a reflection of your light, that others may see you are the one who created beauty in everything your hand has touched. Thank you for these strong Proverbs 31 Women, who take your light and strength and are led by the Spirit to help them see, that you alone are what makes beauty and defines it in this world and eternity.
Sometimes, I don’t think I realize I’m seeking fulfillment elsewhere until I’m reminded by reading something like this… thanks for that! Either book would be amazing – the devotional for me or the other for my single daughter!
Thanks for the devotion. It is helping me during a time
when I am facing several challenges and reminding me
that God’s unconditional love will carry me through.