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“What a [woman] desires is unfailing love …” Proverbs 19:22a (NIV)
I had everything I wanted yet felt empty and confused.
My life was full of relationships and accomplishments I’d worked hard to gain, but none could fill or fulfill me.
Frustrated by my aching emptiness, tears streamed down my face as I thought about the guy I dated through high school and college. Our future plans had crumbled under the pressure of me expecting him to be all I needed.
I had been crazy about him — a little too crazy.
Like the time a friend mentioned my ex-boyfriend was heading to our hometown for the weekend. We worked near each other, so Friday afternoon I parked by his office and waited for him to leave.
We both “happened” to be at the same fast food restaurant, at the same time and bumped into each other. After getting my order, I got in my car and followed behind him, hoping he’d see me, realize he couldn’t live without me and signal to pull over so we could talk.
Seriously, what was I thinking? As you can guess, he never stopped. I was hopeless and humiliated…
A few weeks later, I was taking a walk around my college campus. My eyes drifted to the buildings, dorms and other landmarks of memories. Suddenly my mind filled with a collage of faces, reminding me of my efforts to win the approval of advisors, friends and professors — hoping their affirmation could fill my emptiness.
Although I was graduating soon, had a few great job offers and achieved success in many ways, my heart still felt restless. And I couldn’t help but wonder: Why was all that I had never enough?
A thought rushed through my soul, stringing together two words I had never put next to each other. I sensed God answering me.
Renee, all you have ever wanted is unconditional love.
Unconditional love? I didn’t know there was such a thing. Then God whispered into my soul: You’ll never find the love you long for in anyone or anything but Me. I AM the unconditional love you’re looking for.
The thought of God loving me without any conditions was inconceivable, yet something deep in my soul told me it was true. I’d been looking for love that didn’t have to be earned. Love I didn’t have to fear losing.
Honestly, it was hard to see how God’s love could fill the emptiness in my heart. It took time, but I came to understand that God created me with that need for fulfillment so He could meet it.
Proverbs 19:22a, says, “What a person desires is unfailing love.”
The word “desire” comes from the Hebrew word ta’avah, which means: to greatly long for, deeply desire or crave. Interestingly, unfailing love is mentioned over 30 times in the Bible, and not once is it in reference to a person. It is only attributed to God.
Could it be that God gave us a desire for unfailing love, because He knew it could lead us back to Him?
If today’s post resonated with you, I hope you’ll ENTER TO WIN (This giveaway has ended, but I’d still love to hear from you!)
a copy of my new Confident Heart Devotional. I truly believe the stories and truths in it will change your life {like they have mine}!
Based on honest struggles we all have with comparison, self-doubt, fear of failing, and the life-changing lessons God’s taught me and ten other women, {whose stories are in the book} you will discover how to change the way you feel by changing the way you think – which will transform the way you live!
Expanding on what readers of my first book LOVED most: “When I say … God says …” statements, I’ve written 60 new devotions and new {WISGS} statements to equip you with a new a thought map and a promise – to live in every day!
ENTER TO WIN (This giveaway has ended, but I’d still love to hear from you!)
Share your thoughts in the comments below to WIN one of 5 copies of my A Confident Heart Devotional or a copy of The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition for you or a friend. Be sure to let us know which book you’d like to win!
I have experienced Renee’s story too many times and even in my marriage now I struggle with disappointment that my husband doesn’t love me the way I think he should. I need retraining and would love a copy of A Confident Heart devotional.
This devotional has helped me realize that some of the tension in my marriage probably results from my expectation that my husband fulfill me in ways that only God can. I do need God to satisfy me with His unfailing love. I’d love a copy of Confident Heart Devotional.
“God gave us a desire for unfailing love because He knew it would lead us back to Him.” Never thought of these unfulfilled desires we have as being part of a specific purpose in His plan. Thank you for sharing this thought.
In order to live, to be, to do all that God has created us for we must have and give unconditional love to all. To do His purpose and will for our lives we must fill our hearts with unconditional love. For we are all made in His image. God holds nothing against us and that was proven at thd cross when His son Jesus Christ was sacrificed for us, what unconditional love.
This really touched me. It was like God told you what I needed today. I am struggling with this issue. I feel alone and can’t undrestand why my husband don’t have or show the same love for me that I have for him. Maybe I am over loving him. This helped me to realize that GOD’s love is the only love I really need and that it is unconditional. Please pray that I can practice unconditional love.
I am praying for you to accept His unconditional love so that you may practice unconditional love. I will share with you that yesterday I had to pray and ask God to bless me to break the expectations that I have for my husband and to ACCEPT him where he is at right now. I pray the same for you.
I have always known that God exists and that He loves me. But about 10 years ago I started to begin to understand exactly what you describe here in today’s devotional. I am still on that journey to understanding God’s Agape Love for me. Thank you for sharing your heart! Blessings! 🙂
I know His love is unconditional, but in John 15 Jesus talks about He is the vine and we are the branches then goes on to say thoes who are not producing fruit will be cut off and thrown in the fire. My commentary says Christians who make a superficial commitment arent truly saved. My confusion and question is we dont earn His love, but if we are not active in our faith or going the wrong direction it can be lost?
Sad but true . . . I thought I was perfectly fine and fulfilled in my relationship with Jesus and my husband. When my husband died of cancer, a panic came over me one day. Who would ever want to love me and my five children? God gently walked with me through the grieving, anger, rejection and comforted me. He reminded me He would never leave me not forsake me. That verse has been, and will keep bringing me closer, and more intimate with the Saviour. Now I can courageously say, He is my Husband. Thanks for your encouraging words today reminding me yet again, my fulfillment is found in Him alone.
Thanks for sharing, such a great reminder of who our love comes from.
I know God loves me unconditionally but I still struggle with it being enough, especially in the midst of figuring things out with my boyfriend. Your book has been an eye opener and I see it being my go-to when I start doubting myself. My life has been changed because of this book. Thank you.
I would love the devotional Or the Chapman book.
Praise God for His unfailing love. He has been filling my void for 33years!
Renee thank you for your words of encouragement. Two years ago I stepped off a mountain in blind faith…I finally surrendered & He caught me. From that Tuesday on, I finally experienced God’s love & filling every space in my heart. Recently I have been struggling from certain circumstances, Your devotion reminded me not to get distracted and stay close to the One who pursues my heart.
Finding worth through others’ eyes continues to be a struggle. A confident heart through God is so much better for each of us.
I am a single woman who is career driven and focused, but hiss devotion helped me realize that it’s ok to still longed to be loved in this manner and deepening my relationship with God can fill that empty space. The devotion touched my heart because I have been an “ezer” kind of helper to everyone but have not allowed God to be the unconditional person who loves me in my life. As a single, woman who still longs to be married, I would like to better understand the 5 love languages, as a single person, so that I can deepen my love relationship with God.
I’d love a copy, how i long to feel that love.
I know God loves me unconditionally but I have a hard time practicing it. I would love to win the devotional to “retrain” my thought patterns and finally start living in His love.
I would love the devotional. A Confident Heart found me last year when I was struggling through a dark place. God’s love and hope took over and helped me find the good. Thank u for listening to Him and writing this book. God is so good!
This is just what I needed to hear this morning. I have to admit I am also guilty of trying to please others and finding fulfilment and I know in my heart of hearts I need to rest and find it in Jesus. I love this verse in today’s devoted you used, yes Lord help us to find unconditional love in You and be filled with joy in all our days.
It is true that we are at times sooo empty and nothing seems able to fill that GOD-CREATED VACUUM inside us except Him.Am interesting in winning any of your books…especially the one in which you talk about thye vacuum inside of us needing God to fill it.
This devotion really touched me. I struggle with the idea of unconditional love. I’d love to win Renee’s book.
I know in my head that God loves me unconditionally, I just wish I knew how to accept it and believe it in my heart. I don’t want to “look” for love anymore, it’s a very tiring process! 🙂
Its 2:30 in the morning and I literally just signed up for a dating website “mixer”, then I read the daily devotional. It made me realize that already have what it is I think I’m missing, true and unconditional love. I just have to learn to accept it. Also to keep reminding myself that although I’m 41, never been married, been in and out of bad relationships its in the Lords time, not mine, he will bring someone into my life.
Oh, I would love to win the 5 Love Languages: Singles Edition! Thanks
I’m constantly trying to make the people in my life pleased with me, but I’d like to think it’s in a Godly way. I don’t want to bring disharmony to my family, and I unintentionally do so. So for the past six mo. I’ve been feverishly seeking to be closer to God. And I’ve been taking actions to show my obiedience. But I’m constantly searching ways that He wants me to become closer to Him. Now I wake up early and get on my knees and start my day with a formal prayer, along with the regular ongoing prayers throughout the day, and I also am in an online Bible study where I’m reading the Bible chronologically in a year and a Bible/book study, and exercise where I can meditate. I’m searching a new church to guide me and my son, but I’m far from filled.
I just recently got your book Confident Heart, but I definitely want the devotional if it’s a companion, if it’s the same, I would love to win a second copy to gift my aunt who just had an “awakening” as she calls it, and has really felt the Spirit redefining her life and purifying her.
Knowing God’s love is unconditional and all we need is one thing but remembering it each day is another! 🙂 Thanks so much for the reminder! It is so easy to look to my husband to fill my love cup or be disappointed when he doesn’t. It’s good to be reminded to only look to God to fill me up! Thank you!! I would love to win The 5 Love Languages.
I have had an experience exactly like this.
I was so consumed by this guy I was with for 3 years. I was 100% convinced we would get married, and then
we broke up.
This was a wake up call- I realized what he become to me, an idol!
I realized that he dragged me down and turned me into this “crazy girl” [who would be DEVASTATED if he cancelled our plans, for example, or wanted to go out with his friends without me]
I would get hurt for days and never was satisfied by anything he did…
So, I appreciate this post of yours in particular because now I am single for the first time since freshman year of high school ( I’m 22), and I’m learning how to become the BEST woman of God in preparation for my future man : )
Thank you for sharing…..girls need to hear things like this more and realize they aren’t alone in feeling that the relationship can break them so easily.
-Cameron Adams
I would be interested in the singles devotional! Thank you for writing.
Cameron I am praying for you and encouraging you to continue your walk. “Psalm 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble”.
I never thought God had it in Him t love someone like me after the stunts I pull sometimes. Getting over this fact has been hard. No one has loved me like that ever. Many days I have not measured up but yet He is still there for me. I find that amazing and it is why I keep searching for Him. I am grateful.
Thank you for this word because I needed it. Your words made me have an “aha” moment. Thank God for unfailing love. I would love to receive books to aid me in continuing my journey in seeking God’s unfailing love.
This is spot on. I also am this woman. Would love to have Love Languages for Singles.
Renee, A Confident Heart changed my life. I studied it with P31OBS last year at a time when many things in my life were changing…my job, my location, my financial situation. It helped me to see where I had been trying to fill my need for acceptance and belonging from the world, rather than from The Lord alone. It helped me to uncover the self-created labels I had stuck all over myself. It helped me to face my past and leave it there…moving forward into a new life.
God’s unfailing love is enough…anything else is a precious bonus for me to treasure, but not put in high places and long for to give me the comfort that can only come for God.
Thank you so much!
I really saw a lot of myself in this devotional. I have done some of these same things, seeking the unfailing love of a man. Even now, after being out of high school for over 10 years, I still have the same feelings of insecurity when it comes to relationships. I have spent years pursuing relationships that I had no business being in, and thank God that He did not allow them. My father once told me in my teen years that I was looking for love in all the wrong places. At the time, I thought he meant I should be making better choices in looking for a partner, but now I realize (and am ready) to make God the center of my life & wait to see what that has in store for me, instead of trying to make a relationship fill my heart. I would love to read Renee’s devotional about having a confident heart.
I have always looked to people for fullfilment. I have always known about his never ending unconditional love! I have been stuck with trusting him totally. I would love to win the devotional.Thank you for your encouraging words!
These are words that I needed to hear. It is so easy to look to others for approval and love and fulfillment. Sometimes it’s so easy to forget God’s unfailing for me and that He alone is all I ever need. Thank you for this message! I would love a copy of the devotional.
Thank you Renee for that encouragement.I have been through a lot of struggles.Lost my marriage to another woman,Lost a child all because i neglected God’s unconditional Love.I was after fulfilment from the human angle.But today I thank God that I finally dipped myself in God’s unconditional Love.When i read your encouragement for Today this morning I realised I had been in the same position.I return all the Glory to God who has raised me from the dust,placed me on a Rock and put a new song in my mouth.I would love A CONFIDENT HEART DEVOTIONAL.I thank God for your life.Keep up the good work and Remain blessed.
Rosemary
Nigeria.
A wonderful devotion today. It is a desire for unfailing unconditional love.
Thanks for sharing. This devotional hit the core of basically everything that ails us.
This reminded me of mary magdalene n how she broke her alabaster jar at the feet of christ.every time I give love to msn expecting love its like I am breaking my alabaster at their feet.but mary knew who would accept her n love her n who deserved her love.only he can fill the emptiness and make me whole.i would like tho win the confident heart devotion
How true that we seek unconditional love from people, be they family, friends, church folk etc. Often this leads to one living a life that is always empty and serching for something that they in most cases are not certain. This could also be the reason we self destruct and drown ourselves in earthly things that are meant to be fulfilling. But the moment we turn to God, who loved us before we were even formed in our mothers’ woumbs, loved us enough to turn His back on His Son on calvary now that is unconditional love. I discovered when I worked on my relationship with God I was happier and never expected much from people.
Funny enough my fear of failure has already begun just by me tempting to share my thoughts…. I feel this constantly…. the lack and inability to be the perfect partner, parent, worker, colleague due to many fears of either coming across as ‘fake’ or just that urge to get everybody and every person think the best of you… problem is… its placed me in a state of what I call ‘wobing’ work avoidance behaviour…. I choose to rather not make certain decisions that leave me feeling even more frustrated… it’s easier that way… less judgement and no fear…. due to no involvement…. stupid I know…. but how can I ever be good enough in this world where all that exists are media devils just knocking at your door to get you to join the world of perfectionism… which is a lie anyway…… I think and believe that joining that world only leaves you setting high expectations of yourself that you will never be able to meet or accomplish….. so yes, its extremely hard to not let doubt creep in when your partner is looking at the tv and saying wow!! if you looked like her you would be HOT!!! Wow!! if you were a more firm parent you would have a better behaved child… and if you sowed the colleague who always gossips about you a bit of more love they will stop…. 🙁 sadly, its difficult to believe in yourself when you surrounded by all the things that know your weaknesses….. sorry, if I have bored anyone with this…. south Africa/ cape town
I would love to win a confident heart devotional book.
Am currently reading Confident Heart with a friend. Just read this chapter tonight. Think God is telling me something? Love the book! Like to see what the singles ed. has to say.
I JUST REALIZED WHEN I READ THIS DEVOTION THAT I HAVE BEEN EXPECTING MY HUSBAND TO MEET MY EVERY NEED, AND THEN FEELING ANGRY OR HURT WHEN HE DOESN’T
Coming from an abusive childhood, I was continually looking for love and approval from people who could not give me what I needed most. Even now, in my Christian walk and marriage, I find myself looking to my husband to fulfill this need. It puts a huge burden on our marriage. I would love to win a copy of “A Confident Heart”.
Both books are something I could and would like….my husband of 37 years isn’t sure we should still be together….. So much stress and struggle I’ve been going through.i pray that God will heal our relationship and my body…..,please pray for us and our relationship to have Gods favor ,so we can do His will. Thank you and God bless you all!
Dear Loretta,
I too have a distant, unbelieving husband who I love dearly. I am bipolar, and he is at his wits end caring for me, so this realisation has finally dawned..that.he can never fill that God shaped hole in our hearts…only God through his Son Jesus Christ can fill that hole and make us whole in the most wonderfully healing way. I can feel unconditional love, feel His acceptance whatever mood I’m in, and the pressure for my husband to show he cares has lessened. I hope you too will know that nothing we do or say or feel..can separate us from the love of God..it is through Grace we can know Joy Peace and Love..keep praying for your husband and love him anyway…
I totally understand that and I go through the same feeling daily. Thanks for this devotional. It really was what I needed to hear right now — dig into God. That’s the key.
As a recent graduate, I think that I’d be (wrongfully) looking to and basing my personal worth on future career achievements. God has graciously taught me some hard but totally worth it lessons in the last few years of my academic life and I pray that I learn from my mistakes. Mistakes like grounding my self worth in my performance, seeking the ever-elusive approval of professors and subsequently feeling worthless when I failed to do so, and last but not least, quitting easily and not knowing the value of effort and hard work due to a deep rooted fear of failure. One of the things God has taught me is to incessantly try my best through the enabling power of the Holy Spirit. Despite the mistakes, I think that the most wonderful thing was that through the season where I felt most like a failure, I got to know the God of Heaven. It was incredible, knowing He was literally right there beside me. And even though its tougher now to feel Him, I’m praying that I come to know more of Him and His love daily. After that, I can say from the confidence that experience gives that with God, all things are possible. 🙂 Thank you for your post!
D, thank you so much for sharing your story. I, too, am a recent graduate and can relate to the feeling of worthlessness. Throughout my last two years of college, I placed the measurement of my worth in the hands of others and not so much in the hands of God. After several months of prayer and getting back to a place of grace, I now realize their opinions of me are nothing compared to the opinion my Savior has of me. I pray that we both can continue this journey of finding confidence as we discover the confidence that God has in us. 🙂 Blessings!
Wow! I can totally relate to feeling so desperate for a man to love & cherish me. It will make a fool out of you! Luckily, that is not the case in my life now. I am growing a relationship with Him.
Thank you for sharing your story today. I’ll confess that I am trying to find my fulfillment in food and approval from others. I could definitely use ‘A confident Heart.’
I really enjoyed this devotional. It was just what I needed in my current place of insecurity in my relationship. It is so true that my need unconditional love has been & will always be fulfilled by God. Through praying and focusing on that relationship of love, the other relationships will fall into place. Thank you for some perspective!
I would love to win a copy of the devotional. I have just started your book and have been blessed immensely thus far. Seeking Gods unconditional love versus other peoples approval or love has been my biggest lesson so far. It’s a heartbreaking and heart molding journey that won’t stop until I meet our Heavenly Father but I am thankful for the lessons. I just need to write them down so I don’t forget!
This post just really stood out to me cause iv been trying to impress people.an just tonite God showed me that’s not wat life is about. So thanks
I have always known that God’s love for me is unconditional, but having been in several abusive relationships,including a marriage, trust is something I struggle with…and I’m starting to realize,whether I like to admit it or not, that I don’t completely trust God with my whole heart. Honestly, that is something that never crossed my mind until I read this. Wow. Thank you. What a revealing truth and blessing. Praise the Lord.
@Heidi Lewis: I am still in a marriage where I’m not loved and I’ve been emotionally abused but at this point I never thought through things in the way you said. Thank you for bringing out the devo in another light-I struggle with trust so much. Blessings on you and if you see this pray I can get things figured out for the good of myself and children and learn to trust God with all of me.
I’ve read “A Confident Heart” twice and shared it with several friends. I gave away my first copy and bought another copy to keep for myself just because it speaks to me so much. I’m really striving to more confident in the Lord and would love to have the devotional.