Somebody really, really hurt my feelings this week. They said a few critical things about me as a speaker. I found out Sunday evening right before I went to bed, and I let it get to me. I woke up all through the night feeling like I’d had a bad dream.
In the morning I felt like I never wanted to speak again. It continued throughout Monday. While I was talking to God about it, and trying to get His perspective, it dawned on me that criticism is like a bee sting and doubt is it’s poison.
When someone criticizes me as a mom, I doubt myself as a mom. When someone criticizes me as a friend, I doubt my ability to be a good friend. And when one person criticizes me as a speaker I begin to doubt my calling – or at least want to run from it.
I let the poison of doubt discourage me for 24 hours. Then I called a friend who oh so wisely told me: “Renee, you will never be perfect. And if you ever get to a point where you are, you will be in the wrong calling.”
Who made that rule? Why can’t I be perfect? It’s what I’ve been working towards for over 40 years now. Well, not really, but I do want everyone to like me. I want to be without flaw. I want to be protected from the sting of others’ disapproval.
God’s Timing is Perfect!
The same day my wise old-owl friend told me I’m not perfect, my sister-in-love sent me a photo of me singing “Nobody’s Perfect” in the Hannah Montana wig I gave my niece for Christmas. Aren’t we beautiful?
God’s timing is perfect and I love His sense of humor. Now I’ve been singing that song, and it’s helping. Hannah’s got a good point – nobody’s perfect.
And if you want the words to post on your refrigerator, here they are. I apologize in advance that you may be singing them in your head all day.
Your post struck a cord with me. I struggle with those issues too. We KNOW that way we are suppose to feel as Christians, but it’s hard to do sometimes in this fleshly body. Blessings as we keep on keeping on in this journey of life.
Your post struck a cord with me. I struggle with those issues too. We KNOW that way we are suppose to feel as Christians, but it’s hard to do sometimes in this fleshly body. Blessings as we keep on keeping on in this journey of life.
Loved, loved, LOVED your post! I can so relate to this. That bee sting is so hard to shake sometimes!
On another note, during our devotions this am with my girls we talked about how God never gives up on us and wants us to pick ourselves up and move forward when we mess up. Then I used that song, “Nobody’s Perfect” to emphasis! They loved it because we too are Rockstars! 🙂 Loved the wig-the girls already are wanting it.
Sadly the video did not work for me to watch. Would have been funny I am sure.
Keep moving forward! You are in good company of imperfect people!
Much love,
Angela
Oh Sweet Renee, As I am about to write this with words of encouragement my 13 year old son walked into the room and started singing, “I’m a red neck woman I ain’t no high class broad” (and singing in a loud southern accent, which he doesn’t have) and I’m cracking up laughing (and you know what happens when I laugh!)…because maybe you just need to think of that comment coming from a red neck woman!!!!! I am sooo just kidding but oh my goodness…YOU are one of the most polished yet vulnerable speakers I’ve ever heard and you know me, I am pretty darn honest about that! And girl, besides that, you look good, too! Love ya like a sister, Shari !!!!
Oh Sweet Renee, As I am about to write this with words of encouragement my 13 year old son walked into the room and started singing, “I’m a red neck woman I ain’t no high class broad” (and singing in a loud southern accent, which he doesn’t have) and I’m cracking up laughing (and you know what happens when I laugh!)…because maybe you just need to think of that comment coming from a red neck woman!!!!! I am sooo just kidding but oh my goodness…YOU are one of the most polished yet vulnerable speakers I’ve ever heard and you know me, I am pretty darn honest about that! And girl, besides that, you look good, too! Love ya like a sister, Shari !!!!
Renee,I haven’t read your blog in a while – and i’m so glad I did so i could tell you I am praying for a shield of protection around you. The battles is the Lord’s sweet friend. I’m praying for you to let it go. It was not meant for you – but for God… and the enemy just works on us Christians because that’s all he can do – but he will not win.
I remember so many things from you talks that have stayed with me and made a differnce in me as a woman seeking God. You just keep going.
And I just want to say thank you for being so real and vulnerable. that’s such a wonderful part of you. melanie
Renee, you know what ministers to me from this honest post? The fact that criticism can affect even someone whom I deem as “succesful.”
Seriously, I take it personally when people say nothing – I’m just looking for a little encouragement here people…but maybe God knows the precarious balance of humility and courage that I need.
It’s a spiritual battle to stand down those negative comments and thoughts with the armor of God firmly in place and your spectacular wig on for extra measure! 🙂
I’m not sure if this will come accross as an encouragement, but I had that same problem last week. And, it continued until this week. In fact, I email Lysa Terkeurst to pray for me. I was so distraught I couldn’t think until yesterday, I talked to my mentor and she said, “It’s not your battle. It’s His battle.” When they critize you, it’s not really about you, they are critizing God. Your job is to obey His call.” After meeting with her, I deleted the email from this such person and pray God will help her get over it.
These things seem to happen to everyone. Think of the prophets, they were critized too. Some of them were even threatened, but the beautiful thing is God sees it all. Hey, even God can’t please everyone. If you want to walk right, you can’t please everyone. Your job is to please God. You are Great. You are valued. You are anointed by God (Ephesians 1:11), that’s what really counts.
God bless you! Keep looking up.
I am so glad you are choosing to listen to your loving heavenly Father on this one. You are perfect just as you are. I know I am truly blessed by having you in my life. Lunch was great fun today, along with the impromptu Hanna Montana concert!!!! We may want to have the whole team invest in those wigs?????
Blessings,
Charlene
I have heard you speak and was so touched by you that it drew me to P31 Ministries. Your speaking had a huge impact on me because you were so real and open. Your testimony helped me see that you were no different than me and that maybe I could get as close to God as you are. Six months ago, I bought your book Mining for Gold in the Heart of Your Child. My 8 year old daughter and I have just started going through it every other night. She really looks forward to going over a golden attitude/action. She even takes it a step farther and loves to “act out” likes she’s in a play, how to bring the gold to the surface and the dirt that buries the gold. But more importantly, I know that she is really digesting God’s word in terms she can understand.
Thanks you!
That’s the word- courage. It does take a lot of that to put yourself and your gift out there.
I struggle with the cost of the calling. Half the time I’m asking God to remove the cup from me, and half the time I’m asking why He isn’t giving me more opportunities!!
Renee,
What an encouragement you are to me! I’ve not heard you speak, yet, but just from the genuineness I hear from you in your blog I can’t imagine you not being a great speaker! I pray that you are feeling better now! Thanks for keeping it real!
Hi Renee;
I truly understand your pain. I had someone tell me that I was not a good speaker and was miserable for days (I obviously let the poison stay longer). I finally asked the friend who hired me to speak and another friend who was there and they both said that my presentation was great. They also said some other things about the person who made the comment (which didn’t make me feel better – really!). A wise person later said something that I will never forget – “If you reached one person, then you have done well.” So Renee, we can only be obedient to our call and it is up to God to touch those who need to be touched. Keep speaking. He obviously gave you a great gift.
Monica
Ditto to what everyone has said! Next time I call you crying because my feelings are hurt or I feel like quitting, I’m going to record what you tell me…which is exactly what LeAnn said. People love you because you are real and those imperfections help you to be approachable and sincere.
Plus, I think you are perfect just the way you are!
Love you sweetie,
Melissa
Seeing you in the Hannah Montana wig was the best birthday present ever! Everyone needs to start their day with a smile. Thank you!
Renee, you’re perfect in my book… because of your imperfections. God can’t use “perfect.” Your transparency allows the Holy Spirit to shine through you. As a result, thousands of hearts are impacted by a very real and perfect Jesus alive in a very real you.
Love you my friend!
LeAnn
That’s the word- courage. It does take a lot of that to put yourself and your gift out there.
I struggle with the cost of the calling. Half the time I’m asking God to remove the cup from me, and half the time I’m asking why He isn’t giving me more opportunities!!
Renee,
What an encouragement you are to me! I’ve not heard you speak, yet, but just from the genuineness I hear from you in your blog I can’t imagine you not being a great speaker! I pray that you are feeling better now! Thanks for keeping it real!
Ditto to what everyone has said! Next time I call you crying because my feelings are hurt or I feel like quitting, I’m going to record what you tell me…which is exactly what LeAnn said. People love you because you are real and those imperfections help you to be approachable and sincere.
Plus, I think you are perfect just the way you are!
Love you sweetie,
Melissa
It’s so easy isn’t it to hear and take note of one bad comment even when we have had 99 positive ones.Hard ,I know but God’s approval is all that matters and just from reading your blog you are obviously doing great things for Him.
Oh Renee I’m so glad you shared this with us. I just posted on this type of thing called “Imperfect Jesus Girl” the other day. You’ll get a good laugh so you’ll have to read it when you get a minute.
I can’t imagine all that Jesus endured while here on earth. So perfect, yet surrounded by people whose flaws made them desperately in need of a Saviour. So tender, yet surrounded by hardened hearts. So forgiving, yet surrounded by grudge holders. He heard every hateful comment and spoke back with words of love. He saw into eyes that glared at Him and yet He looked at them with eyes full of mercy. He endured so much more than we can begin to imagine.
Don’t you dare let Satan get an inch into your thoughts and get you down about another human beings comments. You are not perfect Renee, but you do have Perfection in you. I have never met you past the keyboard of my computer, but I do know that you are a woman filled with Jesus. You keep focused on Him and realize that He just gave you another topic to speak to women about. Perhaps the title should be, “The Jesus in me is the only Perfect Part of me.”
Many Blessings~
Lelia
I love the wig, as my hairdresser would say, “It gives you so much youth.” The work that you do is such a blessing to so many women. I can’t imagine the courage it takes to put yourself out there time and time again. There will always be those who criticize. I’ve learned that most who are quick to tear down have their own insecurities and fears to overcome. I know that you know who you are in Christ. This knowledge will always be a salve to the hurt.
Be encouraged! You are so valued!