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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

More Encouragement for Moms

Philippians 4:9, “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice.”

I would love to know the age of your kids. (Please post a comment to let us know). My oldest turns fourteen in May and my youngest just turned eleven. I have noticed that passing my faith to my children seemed so much easier when they were younger. They were like little sponges, usually eager to learn Bible verses and other things I tried to teach them. Well, not so much anymore. Now I’m the sponge who is listening to all the wisdom I can get from other Christ-loving parents who have special insights into the hearts of teens. One thing I am learning is that it’s not so much what I say, but how I live that influences their faith most. Today, Suzie Eller is back to pick up from where we left off yesterday. She surveyed hundreds of teens for her book, “Real Issues, Real Teens: What Every Parents Needs to Know, ” and this week she’s telling us what they said about how parents can hinder or help their faith. Here is what she wrote:

Your teen will hear a thousand messages about faith in their lifetime, most of them from people who don’t believe. So what we show our children about faith becomes even more vital.

But what are we teaching them? I talked with hundreds of teens and they said there are four things that parents do that can make faith difficult to comprehend. Yesterday, I shared two common mistakes, and today I have two more:

Mistake #3—Hypocrisy

Christianity is not an easy choice for teens. What does your teen see in you that will help him make that choice? Hypocrisy is imposing double standards. You have to do this, but it’s okay for me. It’s putting on a church face, but having a different face at home. This was the number one reason that teens said they turned away from faith. Their view of God was complex. What is real? What is not?

 

Mistake #4—Fail to Support Them In Their Faith A few years ago a teen stood outside the church. She had been gone for several weeks and had not responded to phone calls. She put my hand on her stomach. Pregnant! I wanted to cry. Several weeks earlier we had a powerful youth service. It went longer than usual. Parents waited outside while the teens prayed. I watched this teen. She was on the outskirts, but I could see the longing. As she walked toward the altar, her parent burst through the door and took her by the arm. She was angry because she had to wait in the car.It was inconvenient. She did have to wait too long. But I wonder what the teen lost that night.
If you deliver your teen to a youth event or have been asked to pull out one more dollar for a youth activity, you are investing in your teen’s spiritual life. Right now, there are parents who are on their knees crying out to God for their unsaved teens. If your teen is running toward God, take a moment and thank God—and then run with him.
T. Suzanne (Suzie) Eller is a Proverbs 31 speaker, youth culture and parenting columnist, and author of books including Real Issues, Real Teens: What Every Parents Needs to Know. Visit Susie’s blog or Suzie’s blog for teens.
Thank you so much Suzie for sharing your wisdom with us. I can’t wait to read your book! If any of you have questions or thoughts for Suzie, please post them in a comment below or stop by her blog today.  Tomorrow I’ll be traveling with my girlfriends to Texas for our Girls Night/Day Out with KSBJ on Thursday. I would treasure your prayers for safe travel and for everything leading up to the event, and for me to not be nervous but completely consumed by God’s grace and overflowing with HIM! Before I leave, I’ll be sharing my story of learning how to pass on my faith to my kids when they were younger. Although I said it was easier when they were younger, I didn’t mean it was easy. But there was a day in March 1999 that God gave me a whole new perspective and sense of purpose as a mom. It changed my life and our family as God showed us how to make Him part of our everyday lives.See ya tomorrow! Copyright 2009, Renee Swope – All rights reserved.

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Today’s Mom Give-Aways

D6is giving away one of the conference speakers’ resources – Angela Thomas’ best-seller “My Single Mom Life”. (A great book for all moms, single or married. From overcoming mommy guilt, loneliness, setting healthy boundaries to living the amazing life God has for you and your kids, Angela covers it all. I am reading it and loving it!)

To be part of these give-aways, click on “comments” below. PLEASE include your email so we can get in touch if you win and I’d love to know your kids ages and your city/state or country. PS. Be sure to sign up soon for the D6Conference! Early registration ends February 2nd.

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Comments

  1. Thank you so much for the ispiration this morning. I became a single mom after my husband left our daughters and I for another woman and family. The grief in my heart was so hard to handle that I found myself taking out so much on my beautiful daughters. Even if I was not taking my pain out on them intentionally, I was even when I didn’t enjoy them or be the absolute best mom that GOd wanted me to be. It was so overwhelming that I didn’t know where to start to take on the role of father and mother. I truly believe that God gave me these little girls because he knew the choices my husband would make and I can lead them to be wonderful women of God someday. I came to the same place you did and it was all God. I felt the pain slowly go away and I woke up anticipating on what a great day I would have with my kids. My daughters are 5 and 2 1/2 and though I can’t protect them from the pain that their parents have caused them, they know where to turn when their hurting. My daughter savannah who is five has watched me cry and hurt over all that has gone on our home, but she has also watched me fall to me knees asking GOd to comfort us and meet our needs and HE HAS done so much more than that. The best thing I have ever done for my daughters is fall show them that faith steps in where worry ends and to show them the real pain this world has to offer and the true peace and joy that God provide. The day I fell to my knees and had new perspective was last year. Their father and I were not communicating very well and I got very upset. Savannah asked me to pull over the car and with tears falling from her face like a waterfall asked if we could pray together. That was the day that I recieved my new perspective on being a great mother with the help of my Father.
    I am still learning the ins and outs of graceful single parenting but we are achieving and succeeding in our lives together. There is always more to learn and there will always be times that I fall……it is on those days that God sends your messages to my inbox so thank you again!!

    [email protected]

  2. Hey.
    I’m a guy, but I am a Mom and a Dad. My wife was killed three + years ago. My children are 18, 6, and 4.
    You’re right, as they get older, it’s harder to help them make those correct, Godly decisions. My little ones are learning how to pray and find God’s will. My eldest is a freshman in college and has been feeling the call to the ministry. So we pray together and frequently. I understand about wanting to just quit. I hit my knees daily just ready to stop being a single Dad/Mom.

    Tom
    Aynor, SC
    [email protected]

  3. THere is always encouraging and useful devotions here at Proverbs 31 ministries. God uses you to speak to the heart of the matter in many areas of our lives. My children are 19 boy, 16 boy, 14 boy and 11 girl and they are modeling now what we modeled for them early on. Sometimes the things we want to see like the christian behaviors and ideas and sometime the struggles that life presents to them. We have to hold fast to the “truths in God’s word”. Our children are bombarded with sex, drugs,alcohol and violence at every turn and yes,even good christian children. They need to have the scripture to cling to just as we do as a parent. Jesus is our constant and ever hope. We(as parents) cannot be there every minute but the voice of the Holy Spirit can and that is where we want to lead them. Sometimes they will go willingly other times kidding and screaming but the word will not return void! My husband and I tried to remembered even in our failures tomorrow is a new day and God’s mercies are there.
    Thank you all for your ministry.
    Karen
    [email protected]

  4. Important stuff for me here-thank you. We are a blended family with 6 girls ages 18-16-15-14-12-9!!!

    In His Graces~Pamela

  5. Thank you for the great inspiring stories of everyday life with children! I have three children and one angel in heaven. A boy 22, and two daughters 16 & 12. What a journey everyday, I thank God for the strength and wisdom to carry on.

  6. Greetings,
    I have a 20 year old that is acting like a teen sometimes. He was a straight A student, but falls short and fails often because of bad habits. He had to come home from university about a year ago because of some of them. Now he wants to go to Australia to study and I’m very nervous of him falling into his old ways. He needs God in the worst way, but he’s so stubborn! Our 23 year old is exactly opposite in every way!!
    I live in B.C. Canada.
    Thanks,
    Loraine
    [email protected]

  7. You words are so encouraging. I have 4 kids, ages 9, 10, 11, and recently 13! We are so blessed!
    My youngest has Down Syndrome and many special needs. We have a full family and pursue Christ with grateful hearts! Thanks for spurring me on, my heart is bigger than my follow-through, so the application portion is especially important for me!
    Be Blessed!

  10. Oh yes, how things do change once they get older! My son is 14 and daughter 10. I totally agree it was so much easier when they were young. I feel so lost now about how to relate to my son. He is so “closed up” about everything. I wonder if this is normal. I long to make connections with him but he shuts me out most of the time. I am relying on God’s grace to be the parent he calls me to be! I would love to read your book.
    [email protected]

  11. HELLO,GOD BLESSED YOU,KEEP UP THE GOOD WORKS.GRATE WORDS OF ENCOURGEMENT,I AM A SINGLE MOM WITH TWO GIRLS,YOLANDA 9YRS AND KEVIA 6YRS.WE LIVE IN ANTIGUA WEST INDIES.THANK YOU.
    CESOTTA CADOGAN

  12. As I read about the face we put on for others and the face we wear at home, I was convicted again. I have been hearing God whisper this to me for weeks. My oldest just said to me on Monday, why are you being so nice to us today? We had a day off school and a new friend came over. I realized the truth in his almost 10 year old words. I am so thankful that God doesn’t give up on me. [email protected]

  13. I am the proud mom of 15 year old triplets…2 boys and 1 girl. I would LOVE to read another book on raising teens – I need all the help I can get! I just made the move to finally be a stay-at-home mom. I have always said they will need me more as teens than they did as toddlers!!!

    Mitzi
    [email protected]

  14. One son, approaching 17 years of age. So appreciating all the wisdom you are sharing here.

    Praying for you as you travel tomorrow and will be on my knees, 11:30am and 7:30pm Thursday. Can’t wait to hear how God answers!

    Love, prayers and hugs,
    Joy