Does stress impact our confidence? Today I’ve asked my friend Tracie Miles, author of Stressed-Less Living to share how stress once diminished her confidence and threw her into a pit of doubt causing her to question her ability to fulfill God’s plans for her life.
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Although it was seven years ago, I remember it as if it were yesterday. Every morning I dragged myself out of bed, dreading another stressful and emotionally draining day at my job. A job which I had grown to hate, working for a supervisor whom I had grown to fear.
Not only was I overwhelmed with job stress, I was trapped in a deep pit of despair that was filled to the brim with doubt, low self esteem and zero confidence.
My heart and my mind were ravaged with turmoil. I had a demanding and stressful workload and a supervisor who used continual harsh words and often unwarranted criticism.
Even though I gave 100% and tried to do my best, I started doubting whether or not I was good at my job. Eventually my doubts began to creep into my personal life as well. Thoughts like “maybe I’m not a good enough wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend…” plagued my heart. Self condemnation started consuming my thoughts, and eventually I hit an all time low in self-confidence.
Juggling all the stress and pressures of the workplace was nothing compared to trying to carry the crushing weight of self-doubt.
The time finally came when I admitted I needed to make a change in my life. You see, I knew God had been calling me for several years to lay down my job, and allow Him to lead me into new places, but I had been too afraid and too insecure. But change was necessary, or else my physical and emotional health would continue to decline.
I resigned from that position, and although I no longer had the stress of corporate responsibilities, my life was still filled with many other stressors. Yet, upon leaving my job, I picked up my Bible more than ever before. And when I started making my walk with Christ a priority, I came to realize that even though my life was still stressful, my heart was at peace.
Why? Because as my faith grew, my self confidence grew with it. You see, I was coming to realize that my value is based on who I am in Christ, not who a supervisor said I was. I embraced the acceptance and value God promises, tucked in Deuteronomy 14:2, which says “You have been set apart as holy to the Lord your God, and he has chosen you from all the nations of the earth to be his own special treasure.” (NLT)
As my heart slowly healed from the brokenness of a broken person’s words, my spirit began to soar. God helped me understand that my value lies in Him, not in the approval or acceptance of the world. I need not base my self worth, intelligence or value based on what man or woman says, but on what God says about me instead.
It was a long journey, but the more I kept my eyes focused on Christ, the more my self confidence increased. I not only discovered my confidence again, I also learned that God is the answer to our stress, no matter what form it comes in.
And I finally found a calmness in my spirit that was not present simply because I left a stressful job, but because I had embraced my unstressed God: a Savior who loved me, despite my mistakes, sins and imperfections. My Jesus who told me I was His precious treasure, even if nobody else saw my worth, including myself.
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God not only showed Tracie the path to acceptance, self-confidence, and worth in Him, but He used her experiences as the training ground to build a story in her life which is now the basis of her new book, Stressed-Less Living: Finding God’s Peace In Your Chaotic World.
Today we’re giving away 3 signed copies to three of you! Leave a comment below this post and share with us something that is currently causing you stress. I’ll share too.
To find out more, be sure to visit Tracie’s Stressed-Less Living website: www.stressedlessliving.com . And if you purchase Stressed-Less Living between Sept 30-Oct 7th you’ll receive 7 FREE GIFTS.
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I am struggling with anger and my children carry the brunt of it because I’m home with them. The other day I had a thought that caused me to break. My kids could die and go to hell because they have an angry mommy who doesn’t act like God is real in her life. I’m working to correct this with God’s help, but learning to be stress-less would be such a help.
I could write a book just on the amount of stress that I have! A 2 yr long custody battle for children (that has led my current marriage into therapy b/c of the stress from that!) opening my own business within the last year, moving 5 hours away from everyone/everything I know- including my family at my church and having a VERY difficult time finding the right church now……
LIFE in general! Some days, I literally feel like my head turns around in circles! I can’t eat b/c everything but water and crackers make my stomach hurt. I don’t exercise any more b/c I am too tired, depressed, or stressed!
ARRGGHHH!!!! Something has to give somewhere!
So after reading this today, my number one priority is daily devotional in God’s word. Try to open my heart and let go of some of the anger and allow God to help me heal.
Prayers Please!!!
After reading all the stress that many of the readers have experienced, I cannot complain much about my piddling problems. Yet the “little foxes that spoil the vineyard” sneak in to steal my joy and give me anxiety that translates into a stress in life. The book , “Stressed Less Living,” could be an antidote to those little incidences in life that the enemy uses to keep me from the enjoyment of living for Christ.
Tracie spoke at our Women’s Retreat last year – she is an amazing woman & I am SO looking forward to reading this book!!
My husband & I just completed our last fertility attempt to learn we are not pregnant. To say the least, we are disappointed. I am still believing God for a miracle but can succumb to the stress of unanswered questions in my weak moments. Please pray for us. PS I would enjoy reading the book you mentioned.
Heidi – I have walked in your shoes & can relate to what you are experiencing. After unsuccessful IVF attempts, my husband & I chose to pursue the Snowflakes Frozen Embryo Adoption Program through Nightlight Christian Adoptions, and have not regretted one single moment of it! http://www.nightlight.org/snowflake-embryo-adoption/ We have our son Matthew (almost 6) because of Snowflakes, and 2 years later had our son Andrew (almost 4) through “spontaneous” – aka God – pregnancy. I can’t promise you the same results that we have had, but Snowflakes has been a tremendous blessing to our family. I cannot say enough good things about them. (((hugs))) and I pray that God gives you His peace as you are journeying down this very difficult path.
I’m stressed with what it is I’m supposed to be doing in life. I enjoy what I’m doing now, but I wonder if this is where I’m supposed to be or am I supposed to be doing something else with my life.
Renee,
Thank you for that email. I DEFFINTELY NEED A STRESS FREE LIFE. WE ALL DOO. I am 23 with a husband and 2 sons ages 2 & 4. My parents are one of my stresses as I feel that I am their mom and they are my children. My mom is a drug addict and my dad an alcholic, for the past 18 years of my life they have been in and out of prison/jail and have recently got into an altercation after they have been divorced for 18 years and they are putting me in the middle and I dont want to have to choose. I just wish my children could have normal grandparents. I am also dealing with a husband who makes 16.00 an hour and works 80 hours every two week, but only brings home 260 every two weeks. So his check only pays part of daycare and my paycheck pays, rent, food, gas, insurance, and the other half of daycare. We don’t qualify for any assistance, because they look at his gross income and not his net income. I hate stressing everyday and wonder where we are going to get food from or gas from. IM EXTREMELY STRESSED AND DEPRESSED. I went to the doctors to see if i could get help and ended up with a $130.00 doctor bill, so needless to say, I cant back there until thats paid. Im at a loss…IM TRYING TO DEPEND MORE ON THE LORD. INSTEAD OF MY OWN STRENGTHS. I JUST DONT KNOW WHERE TO START. Well that is some of my stresses, but there is TONS MORE! So I would LOVE to get this book, BECAUSE I AM IN DYER NEED OF HELP! HELP! HELP! I feel like because of everything that is going on with my parents to my husband it comes out on my children and it hurts my heart, because i feel like a horrible mom, i know they want a happy mom, but i just dont know anymore…..
Girl! I believe God led me to your post. I’m so sorry for the burden that you are bearing right now. It sounds like you feel like everything is falling down around you. I have been there too. Different circumstances but same hopeless feeling. It’s so difficult when you feel as if the weight of the world is on YOUR shoulders. When you feel as if you are responsible for creating a safe environment not only financially but emotionally for those around you, that weight feels even heavier. And, I know what you mean about not knowing where to start. I’ve found that it’s easy for me to “depend on God” when everything is going well but it wasn’t until I lost everything that I found that I wasn’t truly depending on Him. I was still in control. And, for a long time, I told God that I had surrendered everything to Him but I would still try to pick up this piece or that piece of my life and try to “fix” it myself.
It was a gradual process but I challenge you to explore faith in Hebrews 11. God has a story that he wants to write about your life. And, it is those messy pieces which He wants to use for His glory. When I tried to be strong by myself, eventually something would crumble but when I started giving one area of my life over to him (health, career, home), He began to show up! It wasn’t easy though and still isn’t. In fact, I felt alot like you earlier today. I think it is important to take small steps like you did here and allow God to do the rest. I found that one action would help me feel better. Even if that means taking a walk or distancing yourself from the situation. For me, it was often about simply journaling and getting my feelings on paper, writing out a prayer or reaching out to others like you did here.
I have so much compared to others & in comparision my problems at times seem petty, but that doesn’t make me any less stressed. Due to a hip problem that has yet be diagnosed live in extreme pain & can’t even sit up very long, which means even using my wheel chair doesn’t allow me to do much. Each month God has shown me how I can hang on financially, when there seems to be no way. Instead of helping out Daddy he is having to take care of me & now he is facing knee surgery. I want daily updates on my Grandmother (in the hospital) but spending hours on the phone with my mother ranting & raving is more than I can handle some days. Then if don’t call feel guilty. (Mother was taking care of her parents & my dad (step). Granddad died in March, Dad in July, & now Grandmother …) I want so much to help others & I can’t even take care of myself. I know God has a plan & will some how use this, but is it so hard to see some days, escpecially those when I haven’t been able to sleep.
I loved this quote from you- “but the more I kept my eyes focused on Christ, the more my self confidence increased. I not only discovered my confidence again, I also learned that God is the answer to our stress, no matter what form it comes in.”. I have found with my stress of wanting to quit a weekend and evening job to be with my family more that the more I pray about it, the less stressed I am about it. I haven’t quit yet – I still feel this is where God wants me right now – but know something different is coming along soon!
My grandson is really stressing me out. He is rebelling against both of his parents and I find it so hard to deal with him. This is causing me to worry more about him and when I think about what he’s doing I just get sick to my stomach and sometimes I find it hard to even prayer about it. I journal and I find it even harder to write about it. The part that gets me more is that he knows better. He’s 13 and has been taught right from wrong. I guess that ‘s what hurts the most. This is the first time I have even written anything about this situation. Sorry to burden you.
Thank you for this post. We serve an amazing GO
I’m turning 48 in Dec. I have been single now for 7 yrs. I had no desire to date for the first 6 yrs after my break up. In the last year I have put myself back out in the dating world. It has been so, so hard. The rejections have broken me down so low that I find myself doubting that I can ever truly be worthy of being loved.
I’am trying my hardest to try and rest in the arms of my Heavenly Father.
Thank you for your wonderful post! I have always been quiet and shy and well I guess worried about what others might think of me. I have recently started a new career and had no confidence in myself. I would tell myself today you can do anything! But when I went out to talk to people about my company its like I shut down. Reading your post has given me so much encouragement for today!
Thanks!
Melissa
WOW – what Tracie described is so real! I felt like she was writing my own thoughts. I have been repeatedly told that my “perfectionism” is what is keeping me so uptight. I would like to learn how to let go and be more carefree….to not have so many self-doubts about my worth – to learn not to be a “people-pleaser” in hopes they would simply like the “real” me……
Dads third and totally different battle with cancer.
Wow, when I read those first few paragraphs, I could easily relate. I’ve been working at a job for 3 years that has eroded my confidence, leaving me feeling not good enough, and oftentimes finding myself in the black hole of despair and hopelessness. By God’s grace, with the help of many of the daily devotions of Proverbs 31 Ministry and other books by Renee and Lysa, I am being reminded of who I am in Christ, God’s great love for me and to live in His promises. Thanks for your ministry to all women!
As a single parent, finances keep me worried at night. While God has always provided for us, the uncertainty of making it through the month is hard. Unfortunately my job is also stressful at the moment. While I do not fear I’ll lose my job, I’m uncertain I have what it takes any longer to perform all that is demanded.
I am currently 19 weeks pregnant with my third child and I work for a female boss whose idea of child-raising is to make sure there is a babysitter at home while she is pursuing her career. I cannot afford daycare and my husband and I both need an income to pay our bills. I want to speak with her about working from home part or full time but am nervous about her reaction. I desperately need confidence and a trust in God’s plan to lead me in the direction I need to go to take care of my family. Renee, your book has been most helpful and I thank you and all the readers for posting such encouraging words.
As a mommy of a 21/2 year old and new beautiful baby girl born June 27, my life has been filled with the new stressors that are created with bring home baby #2. We found a approximately a week after Sophia was born that she was born with a genetic disease called cystic fibrosis, my whole world came to a sudden stop and I could not even take a breath without crying for my baby girl.
We have faced cystic fibrosis head on and have no plan to ever let it get in our way but with that has come a few added cares for Sophia on a daily bases. Along with this I have chosen to return back to work to my part time job.
I feel like prior to all of this I was not that confident of a person added to it the guilt of the diagnosis, I am sufficating in stress that I am allowing myself to have. I dont feel like I am a good mommy to Jacob because when he asks mommy can you play with my I am either busy feeding Sophia, giving her treatments caring for basic baby needs and sometimes I am just tired and dont want to get down on the floor to play, which in turn makes me feel more guilty and the cycle goes on!
Trying to make it out of the house in the morning with everything going on is very stressful and I start worrying about it the night before and no matter how prepared you are children are unpredictable.
My husband is helping but he is busy with his job and I feel like if I am frustrated I take it out on him which in turn cases more guilt….the dreaded cycle!
I turn to God but as soon as the pray is over its all over and the stress and guilt just sit back down on me.
I would love to feel less stressed for my family but feel like I am caught in a cycle this is my destination to feel on edge all the time.
Stress seems to be a constant companion for me, especially as a single mom trying to juggle everything. This book sounds like a must read for almost anyone 🙂 Thank you!
Stress is making me sick. There are too many things to do and not enough time in the day. I am trying to stay focused on Jesus, so the stress doesn’t build up. It is so hard most days. Would love to win a copy of Tracie’s new book. Hopefully I could find the time to actually read it 🙂