Does stress impact our confidence? Today I’ve asked my friend Tracie Miles, author of Stressed-Less Living to share how stress once diminished her confidence and threw her into a pit of doubt causing her to question her ability to fulfill God’s plans for her life.
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Although it was seven years ago, I remember it as if it were yesterday. Every morning I dragged myself out of bed, dreading another stressful and emotionally draining day at my job. A job which I had grown to hate, working for a supervisor whom I had grown to fear.
Not only was I overwhelmed with job stress, I was trapped in a deep pit of despair that was filled to the brim with doubt, low self esteem and zero confidence.
My heart and my mind were ravaged with turmoil. I had a demanding and stressful workload and a supervisor who used continual harsh words and often unwarranted criticism.
Even though I gave 100% and tried to do my best, I started doubting whether or not I was good at my job. Eventually my doubts began to creep into my personal life as well. Thoughts like “maybe I’m not a good enough wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend…” plagued my heart. Self condemnation started consuming my thoughts, and eventually I hit an all time low in self-confidence.
Juggling all the stress and pressures of the workplace was nothing compared to trying to carry the crushing weight of self-doubt.
The time finally came when I admitted I needed to make a change in my life. You see, I knew God had been calling me for several years to lay down my job, and allow Him to lead me into new places, but I had been too afraid and too insecure. But change was necessary, or else my physical and emotional health would continue to decline.
I resigned from that position, and although I no longer had the stress of corporate responsibilities, my life was still filled with many other stressors. Yet, upon leaving my job, I picked up my Bible more than ever before. And when I started making my walk with Christ a priority, I came to realize that even though my life was still stressful, my heart was at peace.
Why? Because as my faith grew, my self confidence grew with it. You see, I was coming to realize that my value is based on who I am in Christ, not who a supervisor said I was. I embraced the acceptance and value God promises, tucked in Deuteronomy 14:2, which says “You have been set apart as holy to the Lord your God, and he has chosen you from all the nations of the earth to be his own special treasure.” (NLT)
As my heart slowly healed from the brokenness of a broken person’s words, my spirit began to soar. God helped me understand that my value lies in Him, not in the approval or acceptance of the world. I need not base my self worth, intelligence or value based on what man or woman says, but on what God says about me instead.
It was a long journey, but the more I kept my eyes focused on Christ, the more my self confidence increased. I not only discovered my confidence again, I also learned that God is the answer to our stress, no matter what form it comes in.
And I finally found a calmness in my spirit that was not present simply because I left a stressful job, but because I had embraced my unstressed God: a Savior who loved me, despite my mistakes, sins and imperfections. My Jesus who told me I was His precious treasure, even if nobody else saw my worth, including myself.
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God not only showed Tracie the path to acceptance, self-confidence, and worth in Him, but He used her experiences as the training ground to build a story in her life which is now the basis of her new book, Stressed-Less Living: Finding God’s Peace In Your Chaotic World.
Today we’re giving away 3 signed copies to three of you! Leave a comment below this post and share with us something that is currently causing you stress. I’ll share too.
To find out more, be sure to visit Tracie’s Stressed-Less Living website: www.stressedlessliving.com . And if you purchase Stressed-Less Living between Sept 30-Oct 7th you’ll receive 7 FREE GIFTS.
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Stressed about leaving my son in FL to go to college 10 hours away
Thank you so much for this blog post Tracie. It tugged at my heartstrings in so many ways. I remember when I first graduated college and was working as the laboratory manager of the molecular diagnostics program at Virginia Tech. It was a standard government job. Forty hours. No more. No less. But, I was there most days for 12 hours or more. It was a great opportunity but the stress I placed on myself was killing me. I was making little money but the work was intriguing. Yet, I never felt satisfied. Although I loved trying to discover the cause of diseases, I knew in my heart that God wanted me to be an active part of the healing process.
My thoughts began to revolve around the old dream I once had of becoming a pharmacist. I had been on the other side of that counter numerous times and I wanted to make that person feel less alone and frightened. Internally, I was struggling with this issue as well as the doubts and fears which had begun to arise in me due to an emotionally & physically abusive relationship. I can still recall the day that I decided to take a risk and move to the coast of North Carolina to move in with my sister and her new family. I had always been independent but now I was admitting that my life wasn’t perfect. But, as soon as I left, I began to feel a peace surround me. Looking back, I am amazed how, by taking that step, God began to ease many of my fears. I found a job in a pharmacy where I met a wonderful woman whose husband had just left her and needed a roommate. We became best of friends. That move eventually led to one divine encounter after another. Work became a joy. I eventually began working for the behavioral hospital there as well as for the military and ended up applying for the doctorate program at UNC.
However, I still had not given everything over to Jesus. Years of hard work and an endless string of abusive relationships began to erode that stress-free facade and my body began to break down. I decided to take medical leave and was unable to return due to a host of events which were out of my control. Yet, throughout the horrific next few years, I can now look back and see that God had another plan for me.
Through complete and utter dependence on Him during those years, He began to build a faith in something larger. My anxiety and depression began to lessen. Although I still struggle with the words that come of out of my mouth as well as the ones in my head due to years of abuse, I am in awe of the change He has made in my heart. As a woman who can’t remember not feeling stressed, I am simply thankful for the peace that He is developing. Throughout the past two years, God has surrounded me with His Word and the stories/voices of others during those dark moments. I discovered a voice that was there prior to the abuse and I found that words can bring even greater peace and healing than medicine ever did.
I have been on both sides of the coin of stress-homeless, abused, ill, financially broken. Yet, I am still trusting that in those dark moments, He has a greater plan. I just moved recently and the stress has been more than I can bear at times. However, I know that when God places something on my heart, I have to respond even if it doesn’t make sense at the time. I didn’t want to get out of bed this morning but I did and I found your post. It was such a reminder that even though I feel lost, He still uses the words of others to speak His truth into our souls. Although I feel out of control, I don’t have to act out of control. Even if my car has been beat up since I moved here. Even if I don’t understand how I will ever be able to pay the medical expenses & loans. Even if I don’t know what job God has for me. I know that He has drawn me closer to His will than ever before. And, when God places a need on my heart, I have to trust that He will equip me or position me so that He will be glorified. That is my prayer. Of course, when I write, I can see the positive but there is a gnawing sense of restlessness in my chest which is beginning to cause me to feel that burden of stress and fear. And, I must repeat the mantra of my church: “I believe God for greater.”
I have enjoyed discovering all of the wonderful resources through the Proverbs 31 Ministry. It had been truly a blessing for me to find other women who struggle with things I can so identify with on a daily basis. Surrendering my stresses is a daily challenge for me. I appreciate all of the wisdom I receive from reading the other comments. Thank you for sharing.
I agree with you Suzanne. I look back to my life prior to finding Proverbs 31 Ministries and I see a completely different person. The words of these women have given me such hope during some difficult challenges. Although I am still a work in process, I am so grateful that God has used this ministry to help me release the stress, anxieties and fears which used to torment me. It’s wonderful to know that I’m not alone and that there is someone out there with a similar story to my own or one who has different perspective on the situation.
I too have been struggling to release the stresses in my life. I think my biggest stress comes from our house. Now that our kids are grown and we can really start focusing on the house, it seems we’ve let it go for too long. I would almost rather move out than try to fix it.
Anyway, I have been praying lately for the Lord to show me why I am so “obsessed” with the fact that our house isn’t perfect. Still no answer, but I know He is faithful.
With the house in the shape it is in, me not really happy with my job, and finances not being what they need to be to have someone else do the work, it feels overwhelming and somewhat hopeless. We’ve done alot to the house through the years but now I am noticing the structural issues, and frankly, I am tired of working on this place!!
Yep, I think that is my biggest source of stress.
Right now I am dealing with the reality of a divorce, living with my sister (Thank You God for letting me find a place to be) having to give up the pets and a job that I hate. I just keep on going though, knowing that God has something planned.
I’m so sorry Tracie. I will be praying for you. Although i have never been married, I know how difficult it is when a relationship is dissolved even if it is for the best. Compile that with losing some pets which made your day brighter must be difficult. Your words “Thank you God for letting me find a place to be” ripped at my heartstrings because I am there as well. I am currently in transition right now as well and have been for awhile and it has been very difficult but I know in my heart that God has a plan. God has been faithful in so many ways over the year as I continued to pursue Him in spite of my circumstances. Just keep on trusting in Him. I know that He will answer all your prayers in ways that you never would have imagined.
I would love to read this book! I put so much pressure on myself to “do it all” and spend too much time comparing myself to others, most of whom are in totally different situations! When I don’t follow the feeling to just unwind, relax or set something aside for awhile, it just boils over onto my family and that never turns out well for anyone. Funny how I can admit this but often, in the moment, can’t seem to put it into practice!! 🙂 I have to just remember to hold fast to the promise that God does not leave us on our own ever, and whatever the situation, He is still there.
I am so excited to see this book come out! I have been following Renee through some of the Confident Heart study, and now working through “UNGLUED” for the 2nd time……I am ready to take that to the next level with this book/study!!
I have started a new business about a year and a half ago, and scary as it was, got the ball rolling, had money in the bank, no worries. In the past few months, the money has not been as readily available as before, and at times we aren’t sure we can make it. I have never had such a time in my life that I knew I had to completely trust God to provide where necessary. Funny thing, He does!! This has definitely put a little stress in mine and my husbands life.
Dear God, Help Me Please…
Ugggg. Today I am stressed (much much more than yesterday).
I came home after Bible Study tonight and “Something” told me to check her ears out.
Without hesitation I obeyed, and was instantly mortified!!!!!!!
I looked in my little doggie’s ears and she has ear infections. Yes, plural, “ears”, not one, but BOTH ears.
Her inner ears are so red and swollen, and there is drainage that is dried up…ok I’ll stop with the details.
I must confess, yes, I do feel horribly negligent as I am typing this.
I just looked at her while asking myself how could I be such a horrible “mom.” I broke down crying even more while apologizing to her.
She just looked back at me. She appeared to be sad, although her beautiful brown eyes always look sad, particularly when she is just sitting still and staring. But she looked sadder than normal. Oh how I wish she could talk to me.
I “laid hands” on her ears and prayed in faith asking God to please heal her right away, comfort her keep her from future ear infections, and all other illnesses.
I prayed also for God to please provide the resources I need to take care of her needs as well as my expected and “unexpected” needs.
I really didn’t need this. She didn’t need or deserve this either.
I already was stressed out about finances. (* the top of the list)
Just yesterday the panel on my car notified me that not one, but BOTH brake lights are out.
Hummm, I could’ve sworn I just got those or at least one of them replaced less than 5 months ago. I’m gonna check my car paperwork.
Sigh. No more stress God. Please God, no more.
I can hardly wait to dive into Tracie’s book. God knows I need all the help I can get.
I could go on and on about the stressors of my current circumstances, but I would probably be “blocked” from ever commenting again and there would probably be some sort of red flag identifier tag like
” real downer” that pops up.
In all seriousness, I know that I can call my Abba who knows my needs before I do. I know He is true to His Word and will provide all of my needs. He’ll pick me up when I am down.
Jehovah Jireh, my Provider. Jehovah Rapha , Jehovah Nissi, Jehovah Shalom He is the Great “I AM.”
I love that He doesn’t block my calls (lol) .
Thank you, for all of your resources and encouragement. I am blessed all the more for them.
PS: I can’t wait for the Bible Study for Stressed-Less Living to come out as well. I know this for sure I will be signing up for that one 🙂
God Bless You All
Loretta
Being a single parent is stressful enough, then losing your job adds to that. I was unemployed all summer, thankfully got a job but am very underemployed & underpaid. Adding to that is the fact that my kids’ father hasn’t paid support for months and I have to keep calling to push the state to go after it.
I do try to enjoy the time with my kids, watching band and soccer and having them in my life. Just trying to figure out why He has my life the way it is and has been for years now.
Wow…Tracie’s narrative describes my life circumstances to a T right now. Always grateful for your blogs Renee. They have God’s finger prints all over them :-).
I broke my arm two weeks ago playing sports. I’ve not been at work for however long I need to recover but one thing that has gotten me all stressed out is whether I am able to play again, to do the things I love to do again. I broke my dominant arm, so, it’s been scaring me a bit. I pray for complete healing and restoration, but I do tend to stress quite a bit…
I feel stress and was playing on going to the doctor for “irregular ” women issues. Just trying to receive encouragement from God and to move forward.
Current stress –> Employment and Lost Loved ones :((((
Stress is very hard to avoid in this life. I remember when my hair used to be all black and now day by day stress changes it color 🙂 My job becomes very overwhelming at times and I feel like I am buried under work. My co-worker just had a heart attack so now I have double the work. Every now and then the question of if I am a good enough wife pops into my mind. Sometimes I don’t always remember that Jesus says be anxious about nothing. I need to remember that God is always there with me no matter what I am going through and He will never leave me 🙂
I am currently stressed and depresses I am 20 years old trying to go to school and work at a local hospital. I have been sick and have been to the ER and many doctors and still doing test to figure out what is going on.I have missed a lot of work because of this. I went in for a interview for a different position that would give me a regular full time schedule . I had them sold other than my attendance. I wanted this job so bad we are struggling with money and I feel like I am not providing for me and my husband . It doesn’t help that I get lectured at everyday about it! I am trying so hard and I feel like no one sees.
I need to realize that the work I do doesn’t define who I am. I feel if I only……… then I would feel fulfilled. It never works, and I KNOW I shouldn’t feel that way, but tell my heart that. If I could only be at peace with where I am at. I don’t need to prove anything. God won’t love me any more than He already does.
Amen. I understand. I am in a job I know God has called me.. working with K and 1st in ESOL population as a teacher. I have my strengths and weaknesses. Supervisors lately have been negative with me.. Reminding myself what God thinks of me in scripture
My marriage causes me stress.
It has been a long stressful past three years, full of loss for our family….BUT God. It is difficult some days, but I know God is with me and I am just holding on to the strings of His coat tails, praying for the strength to keep hanging on. I am glad God never lets go of us! Thank you for your encouragement!
I’m currently battling battling cancer and recently returned to work, i just started chemo treatments 3 weeks ago and my stress comes from the management at work. They were trying to fire me while I was out on medical leave, now they are questioning whether I am sick because I dont look sick. I serve God and my faith and strength comes from him. Thank you for the message.
Anything stresses me out, unfortunately. As I walk closer with God, it is getting better. I really need this book.