Fearful. Betrayed. Abandoned. Unloved. Unworthy. Unwanted.
These are a few words that defined Donna and cast shadows over her. Here’s Donna’s story…
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Fearful. Betrayed. Abandoned. Unloved. Unworthy. Unwanted.
These were shadows from a past that would haunt me for years. A past that would hold me hostage and keep me from fully living in the light of God’s love.
Fearful as I watched a hot plate of spaghetti thrown across the kitchen. Fearful as I watched furniture crash against walls. Fearful as my dad fell to the ground a few feet from my mom after he’d swung at her and lost his balance.
Betrayed after my intoxicated father sat me on the back of a horse without a saddle or reins to hold, and then swiped the horse’s rear end. Betrayed as he laughed with his friends while I went sailing through the air and landed on a barb wired fence.
Abandoned and unwanted when my dad filed divorce papers and when I discovered he failed to even get my name and birthday correct on them. Abandoned each time my dad refused to pay child support. Unwanted as years went by without visits, phone calls, hugs, birthday gifts.
Unloved and unworthy when my dad broke promise after promise… to visit, to call, to show up for my high school graduation, to pay for college.
Fearful, betrayed, abandoned, unloved, unworthy, and unwanted. Words and emotions that I let define me and cast shadows over me … until July 2011.
Through several of my Pastor’s sermons and through a friend’s father passing away, I sensed God asking: “How would you feel and what would you do if your Dad were to die this very day?”
I had no answer. I didn’t even know or really even think I liked my dad, much less loved him. Fifteen years had gone by since I’d seen him.
Around that same time, God challenged me with two words: ACCEPT and CHOICE
I had a choice and I made it. Following God’s nudging, on July 1, 2011 I went to see my father and accepted him for who he is.
In doing so, for the first time ever, I was able to ACCEPT my past. God made it perfectly clear to me that I could not change my dad nor my past. My only job was to pray for my Dad. I cannot tell you the burden that lifted from my entire being on July 1st.
God took my acceptance one step further. He told me I had a CHOICE!
A choice to believe that He is who He says He is. A choice to believe His promises; a choice to believe I was worth dying for; a choice to be filled with His joy; a choice to let Him be my Father, my Abba Daddy; a choice to live with a confident heart.
And it’s up to me to make those choices 24/7. Not just on Sunday. Not just at 9am when my day starts – but constantly make those choices. So I get up every morning and choose to believe that God is a Promise Keeper. I make the choice – to believe He loves me like no other can nor will, to pray for my Dad, to let go of the anger. I choose to live in the Light of Jesus so I can have a the freedom and security of a confident heart.
There are days, even minutes, that I don’t make the right choices. But the good thing is as I get better and better at making those choices my rebound time gets shorter and shorter. I get quicker at turning back to the Light.
I’m praying for you today – that together we can turn towards and live in the Light of God’s love. That He’ll give us courage to make the choices He’s asking us to make and accept what He’s calling us to accept so that we can keep turning and growing.
Lord, thank You for Your promises. I thank You that You have called me out of the darkness and into Your light. Thank You for transforming my heart into a heart like Yours. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Donna, sweet friend, thank you for boldly believing Jesus and walking in obedient trust of His calling on your life. Your story and your faith challenge and encourage me to listen for His voice and do the hard thing of believing Him when my feelings are demanding their way. I”m so grateful for the Light and the way you walk in Him!
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Connecting in Community & A Giveaway: What is God speaking to your heart as you read Donna’s story o? Or is there something in chapter 5 that resonated with a change, a choice or a place of acceptance God’s inviting you to? Let’s share here and/or some of the answers to our end of chapter questions this week. Whatever is on your heart.
Donna has generously donated 4 copies of my book {for you or a friend?} Winners will be prayerfully and randomly drawn on Monday from comments left below today’s post. Just click “share your thoughts” and do just that. {If you’re reading this via email click here to share, enter and connect.}
PS. Here’s a music video that Donna shared with me – it reminds us of Chapter 5. After you leave a comment, be sure to watch/listen and let it speak to your heart today or when you have a chance later to come back and stay a little longer.
Donna story hit close home and made me cry. I can relate. It is so hard to acknowledge that I have those feelings and also refreshing because now I can turn the pain to gain. Its always nice to know that I am not alone too.
Thank you for sharing that. I just finished Suzie Eller’s “Unburdened Heart” study and doing your study now is really helping me to continue on with what I’ve learned about forgiveness and accepting myself by who I am NOW; not what my past was. I wonder why so many of us blame ourselves for things we have had no control over. I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one and I pray that myself and all others who do will find the strength to give that burden to the Lord so we can start living our lives with the clean slate we deserve.
Thank you for this insightful article. I shared a childhood much like yours but my mother was the angry and abusive one. I sense that you have done a lot of work on healing your past as I have myself. I would love to read your book.
I don’t know if anyone’s heard of this, but there is a book called, “My One Word,” and the idea is that you pray for God to give you one word that sort of sums up what He would like for you to focus on for the year. My word is, “acceptance.” Everything that you said in your testimony spoke loud and clear to me, Donna. I also have a father who is an addict. When I was a kid, he made me so many promises and although he probably wanted to, he just wasn’t able to keep any of them. I have asthma, and when I was little, it was so bad that I was usually home from school so that I could have round the clock breathing treatments. I remember one time when I was like 6 years old, sick, and home from school; my mom trusted my dad to take care of me while she ran some errands. As soon as she left, my dad asked me if I was hungry. He told me that he was going to get me something to eat and that he would be right back. He left me there for hours by myself and without a treatment. I can remember watching show after show and making up reasons in my head for why it was taking him so long to get back. Other times, he would use me as a ploy to leave the house without my mom thinking that he was going to go hook up with drugs, so he would tell me that we were going somewhere and then we would end up in front of apartments and he would tell me that he would be right back…and leave me in the car for hours because he forgot about me. He also would do things when he was high that he thought were fun, but were fun only for him…like trying to see if he could climb trees with the 4 wheeler…even as I begged and screamed for him to please not try because it looked scary..and then he would say he wouldn’t and then last minute try….and then, of course, we would not make it and crash….okay, so that only happened the one time, lol….ahhh….I had no intention on writing all of that out, but once I got going I needed to continue. The worst part about all of it though, was that he was a really good dad when he could be…and so I was always so confused as a child…and still am as an adult. He is in prison now and I am so bent on not holding ill feelings towards him at all, that I try to not think about any of those things. I know that they have impacted me in soooo many negative ways, but I try to focus on the positive things that his mistakes taught me and the positive things that he added to my life; like praying before bed every night. My dad taught me “the Lord’s prayer” when I was itty bitty and would pray it with me every night (when he was there.) I cannot remember a single night of my life where I didn’t fall asleep praying because of his teaching me the importance of bedtime prayer. Even when I did my prodigal daughter thing and turned away; drunk as a skunk or high as a kite, I would pray and cry to God before I went to sleep each night. Anyway, accepting things and choosing to believe that my heavenly Father DOES love me and is who He says He is…and will come back and not just leave me here….and can be trusted….these are the things that make the difference between bitterness and peace, hatred and love, despair and hope!
What really struck me from the book so far is that it’s time for me to let go of the fantasy of the way I want my life to be and enjoy the reality. It’s time to stop expecting people, places, and things to make me happy and it’s time to rely on the Lord for joy. It’s time to let go of what I will never have and accept what I do have!
Well said, Nicole. I’m with you on that.
Donna you have an amazing testimony and I can relate very well to the father you described. I have many of those memories myself, but have chosen to see my past differently since coming to know Christ. Being filled with so many uplifting stories like yours has helped me so much to see that I am not alone. I praise God for giving me eyes to see now, what I couldn’t see before. Thank you for sharing this with us today.
I also have a father that has abandoned me but I think that it has always brought me closer to my father God as I have felt his presence in my life and his constant companionship. He never leaves me and always listens to me. I have the best Father!!!
I have always been one to do things myself. My dad got sick of changing my oil in my car so he taught me how to change my own. He took us shooting , I went hunting with him. We weren’t allowed to cry. My grandma was a single mom and was strong and did things on her own. She took care of and maintained her own home until age and Alzheimer’s took that independence away. My mom also divorced had to work support me and my siblings. So my role models in life were all teaching me to rely on myself and be tough. For many months before I began this study I have had tears welling up behind my eyes but I don’t cry. My heart has been broken for a long time and I have felt weak. Like I can’t handle the hurt and heartbreaks and the never feeling like I am enough. Constantly worrying about what others think of me. But what a weight lifted that it is not up to my strength. It is in His strength that I am made strong. I don’t have to do it alone. He doesn’t want me to nor did he ever mean for me to. But also what a hard thing to let go. I am trying to give him control. It is a process, right? A journey. Everyday giving my life over to him. My frustrations, my doubts, my control, my weaknesses, my self worth. All to Him.
I pray He help me with this. I want to be free. I want to be a light for Him. I want to live for an audience of One.
Thank you so much for this study. Thank you for Donna’s story.
I pray that every woman participating in this study. That we all may find our confidence in Him.
God Bless each one of you!
Wow! Just, wow! You have such an amazing testimony. And I am going to repeat Melissa and tell you that you need to be speaking. Woman need to hear your story and know there is hope and freedom.
Speak it, girl!!!
All I can really say is thank you for sharing your testimony. I myself am currently deep into much the same issue and seeking Jesus to guide me out of it. I grew up in a family much the same with an alcoholic father who abused my mother my whole life. October 17, 2011 she lost her life at his hands. Dealing with alot of pain, worry, self worth issues over it all. But I do know and trust that my TRUE FATHER God himself will lead me out.
God,
Open the eyes of my heart and give me your understanding as I come to you and pray for Carolyn and the hurt that she is going through. Guide my words to your heart as I pray for Carolyn. Fill me with your words.
Fill Carolyn with your peace, your love, your forgiveness, your mercy, your compasssion, your grace, your promises, your confidence, your understanding, your spirit. Walk alongside of Carolyn as she processes her pain. Show Carolyn how to process that pain and leave it at the foot of the cross. Go before her, seal her heart with your love. Take her hand. Keep her in step with your steps. Guide her out of her pain. Help her process her pain. Replace that pain with your promises. Cause Carolyn to lean into you and into your love. Flood her with your spirit. Lift her eyes to you and cause her to seek you with all that she is. Strengthen her. Encourage her. Surround her. Fill her with your presence. Fill Carolyn to overflowing.
In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.
I am 88 and lie in Hopewell, VA. In my spare time I love to READ!
thank you Donna for your great words.. I saw the LIGHT in reading your message.. I NEED to accept my worry issue as being OK and not my power for placing it on my worry list but the power of God in giving it to HIM! Thank you Jesus for you LIGHT!!
Yay God and Yay Faith! So blessed by your sharing. Praising Him for allowing you to see the LIGHT! Keep walking to the LIGHT!
Praying for you,
Donna
All I can say is thanks for your testimony. I live like that everyday, making me to be mean to my husband, mistreating him and taking him from granted. Your testimony and preaching from my pastor thisnweek have convicted me and made me start look at my self and make the choice to let go all the hurt he may have cause me in the pass and accept that only God can change him and me. Thanks for those word. Now nknowing that God Love me so much that he dead just for me thanks for the reminder of that. That means I am want, I am love, And I can do all things through Christ who strenght me. Thanks my God continue to use you for his Glory……
Shawn,
Thank you so much for your honesty and for sharing your story with us. Praying for God to fill you with His peace and grace to overflowing and that you will become an extender of that same grace to your husband. Praying God gives you his eyes to see your husband with and His heart to love your husband with as well. Praying for God to direct your choices and that in those choices you will honor and glorify God.
Praying for you,
Donna B
It may be a holiday but it’s slso Monday and I was ready for the next chapter. Thank you for chapter 6. This is a place of joy for me. I got so bogged down in 4&5. Lots of feelings that were hard for me to let go even though I was desperate to dump them. After journaling and praying I went to bed and woke up to chapter 6. It was exactly what I was ready to hear. The AM/FM thoughts spoke directly to me. Also “start every dayrelying onGod’s power and living in the security of His promises. And remember, it won’t just happen because it’s possible; youhave to take action”.
God is just a right thought away.
Christine,
YAY God!!! Keep turning those pages!!! More healing can be found in Chapters 6 thru 11 and more of His promises are found in Chapter 12. Not only is HE our FUTURE and HOPE, HE is our JOY!!!
Blessings,
Donna B
Love how HE’s speaking to you — and that you started Chapter 6!! These next chapters are so life applicable as we walk through God’s promises and the application of them i our lives!! So glad you are with us Christine!!
Thank you Donna, you have been a blessing to everyone who was touched by your testimony and took the time to write to you and express their inner feelings to you and how God has touched their lives. God’s blessings to you for your future and the plans God has made for you and the thousands of lives God will put in your future to do a good work.
Susan,
Thanks so much. The prayer of my heart is that I will live my life in such a way that I honor and glorify Him in all that I say and do. Wish I could say that it always turns out that way …. but I can’t. I still have my mess ups but so thankful that He is there to cover me in His grace.
God used Renee and her story in A Confident Heart to not only heal my heart but also draw me closer to Him….praying that God will use me for the same in the way. Love how he can take our messed up lives and turn them into His amazing message of grace and love.
Blessings to you,
Donna
I was very touched by Donna’s story. Thank you for sharing. I hope I can break through my issues. I feel lost and a huge mess. My connection with the Lord is seriously in need. I do need prayer and not sure if I can ever measure up to what He needs me to be. I feel like a dark cloud follows me wherever I go. Please pray for a miracle. Thank you.
Chris
God, I thank you for Chris and how she so boldly shared her heart and her self doubts here with the group. Asking that you would fill Chris up with yourself and with your Cause Chris to focus on the things above like yourself and not on the circumstances around her. Give her your strength in order to break through the doubts, and the issues. Cause her to find her worth in you and you alone. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Chris, what helped me out so much with my doubts was reading through and memorizing some of the scriptures/promises that Renee has outlined in Chapter 12. And also the remaining chapters of the book as I look to refer to them as Renee’s How To’s. And I also read through Psalms 139 quite often and focus on how God’s view’s me as fearfully and wonderfully made.
Praying for you,
Donna B
Thank you for this powerful heart-tugging message which went right along side with my Pastor’s message today. It is so very helpful! May God bless you as you make and teach us to make the right choices.
Meleana,
Love how God works all things out for our good! So thankful and blessed that you found it helpful. Praying for you and your choices,
Donna B.
Hey everyone,
I just wanted to leave everyone with a big thank you, lots of love, and a prayer from my heart as we continue moving forward page by page in Renee’s book. And a GIGANTIC thank you to Renee for allowing God to use her in my healing process which began about a year ago when I first picked up A Confident Heart and still continues even as I type this. I see my healing process as a journey of daily choices – one by one choices until I reach the other side of Heaven. And I thank each of you for sharing your lifes and blessing me with your stories. And for also allowing God to use your stories to even heal my heart more this week. Please know that I will be praying for each of as you continue your journey to the heart of Jesus. Love you guys and am blessed beyond measure by each of you. <3 Donna
God,
I praise You and I thank You for this amazing online community that You have created specifically for Renee and her amazing friends. Your Word tells us that where two or more are gathered in Your name, You will also be there. God, thank You for showing up on Renee's blog in BIG ways this week.
I thank You for how You are healing hearts, setting folks free from their past, releasing us from our pain and loving us in only ways that You can! I thank you for each person that visits this page. I pray God that You will continue to use it to bring Yourself honor and glory, continue to use it to change hearts for your kingdom purposes, continue to use it to draw each one closer to your heart, and to continue the work that You have started in each heart as they seek yours and as they seek to have a confident heart.
Your Word also tells us that if we seek You with our whole hearts we will find You and that You will set us free from the captivity of our past. Thank You for this amazing promise. Thank You that your plans for us include plans to prosper us and plans not to harm us. Thank You that You are our Promise Keeper and that those promises include You as our Hope and You as our Future.
I pray that You will go before each person as they continue turning the pages of Renee’s page. I pray that You will reveal yourself in new and fresh ways. Fill them with your courage to keep turning the pages and to keep moving toward your heart – towards the LIGHT – and out of the shadows. Meet each one at their point of need and give them the boldness to deal with the shadows that they may be living in. Please continue to move the knowledge of your grace from our heads to heart. Fill us with Your grace, mercy, wisdom, kindness, love, discernment, compassion, and self-control.
I thank You for Renee. I praise You for the work that you have done and are doing in Renee’s heart. I praise You for how You provided Renee with this life changing message. Protect her heart. Guard her thoughts. Strengthen her. Energize her. Encourage her. Love her and let her feel that love. I thank you for how You called Renee out of the dark shadows and into the Light. I thank You for her radical obedience to the calling that You placed on her life. Protect her family. Guard her time with her family. Let the boys light shine brightly for You along their journey. Be the centerpiece to Renee’s and JJ’s marriage. Draw them closer to you and along that journey draw them closer to each other. And for Aster, I praise you and I thank You for how You have brought this little one into this family. I pray for that day that You will call into your family – into this family of Christ Followers. Continue transforming heart into a heart like yours. I thank for the progress that she has made with her medical issues and I would ask that you would continue touching her with your healing.
“And for this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge — that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” (Ephesians 3:14-21)
Thank you for your amazing heart for Jesus – for us, His daughters – and for your beautiful prayer!! HE answered some of it this weekend with some much-needed down time for our family just being together. Bless you Donna for how you have poured out and into our hearts on HIS behalf!! You are loved!
Wow!!! Donna, what an amazing testimony!! God is soooo very good!! And His love endures forever, and ever! Isn’t it awesome to know that we have a Daddy that loves us today, unconditionally, and will never leave nor forsake us!! Praise God!!! Thank You Abba Daddy!!!
Christi,
It is amazing and awesome! Love how He loves me! And His love never ever changes! Amazing promises! And so blessed by the message that He gave Renee to share with us in A Confident Heart. It was a heart changer for me.
Blessings,
Donna
Oh Donna – Thank you for your words. I cried reading it knowing, I too felt the same way – the only thing about my story is, my father died before I got to really reconcile with him.
Fearful as I asked my dad for lunch money, knowing he’d just turn me away by telling me to ask my mother for money, I wasn’t “his problem”.
Betrayed when my dad told me he would never walk me down the aisle when I got married.
Abandoned and unwanted when he didn’t show up for my high school graduation, then told me I shouldn’t go to college to be a doctor.
Unloved and unworthy for the many times he was “just there” but not emotionally there for me as a dad.
Song,
Feeling your pain with you and praying for God to do His work in your heart.
God, I thank you for Song and her courage and boldness to share her story about her Dad. God, guide and direct Song’s to find forgiveness in her heart for your Dad. Find a way to restore their relationship to each other. Fill Song with your gift of forgiveness to overflowing. Cause her to rely on you as Her Abba Father. Pave the way and fill her with your love. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Donna
What a powerful testimony proving that we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength. Making a conscious CHOICE to accept other people, no matter what pain they have inflicted is a true sign of the power of forgiveness. I shared this story with my friends in hopes that they too can know the power that our Heavenly Father gives us. Only through the power of His Holy Spirit are we able to accomplish the many trials of this life. Because He lives in us we are able to accomplish victory and bring glory to His name. God bless you for sharing your story Donna. And thank you Renee for posting it 🙂
Traci,
Thanks for the reminder that it is ALL in His power that any of us accomplish victory. And it’s through that victory that brings glory to HIM! Praising Him for all the victories won in His name this week and for how is working in the hearts of this online community.
Thank you so much,
Donna B
Such beautiful words and pictures!
Jamie F,
Thank you for such encouraging words.
Donna B
Christine,
So sorry for your pain and hurting heart. And you are correct, sometimes God doesn’t reveal the fine details for our lifes until they actually occur. But the most amazing news and the bigger picture can be found in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” HE HAS PLANS TO PROSPER US AND NOT TO HARM US. And His plans include our hope and our future. HE IS OUR HOPE AND HE IS OUR FUTURE!
The sad part is that I used to stop reading at the point because I wanted it all given to me …. and preferably on a big silver platter where all I had to do is sit there….but then God prompted me to read a couple of more verses ….. “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.” (verses 12-14)
You see, I was missing a couple of steps … steps that required action on my part …I had to call out to Him, go to Him, pray to Him….and then He would listen to me. I had to seek Him and seek Him with my whole heart and I found HIM …. He let me find HIm and then IN AND ONLY IN HIS POWER, He set me FREE from my past… FREE from hurts,… FREE to BELIEVE Him,….FREE to TRUST Him. and FREE to GIVE Him the pain and let Him carry it for me, FREE to walk in His grace and FREE to forgive my Dad and myself.
And it is hard …. really hard …but He wants His best for us. So please don’t give up … keep calling out to Him, keep praying … keep trusting … keep moving toward His heart and keep moving to the LIGHT.
Praying for you dear Jesus sister and praying that God will show off for you as you seek Him with your whole heart.
Donna B
I too have been given a choice, to stay in a marriage where my husband has been unfaithful or to file for divorce and go on my own way.. But for the past 4 yrs I have decided to stay married and to trust that God is going to restore my marriage.. I thought it would happen by now, but our timing isn’t God’s timing… Thru this time I have grown so close to God , even though I am not sure what his plan is for my life, right now I have peace that it is to continue to love and pray for my husband…
Teresa K,
Prayihg for you and your and marriage. Praising God that He has drawn you closer to His heart during this time and that He has filled you with His peace. Praying for strength as you make the next right choices and praying for God to restore your marriage.
Donna B
Rereading ch 5 and thinking about forgiveness and letting go got me thinking about how hard it is to forgive myself. You see I thought I married my dream man. I was 19 and thought I wasn’t worth much. As that marriage ended I was pregnant and thought I was worth less. I grew up without a dad and now I was going to have ababy that would have to grow up the same way I did. I was so afraid I would ruin this childs life I gave her up for adoptionwithout ever seeing her. I’m crying now just thinking about her. I just wanted her to have a better life and yet the sorrow is still there,thinking if I was just a little stronger I could have kept her.. I thought I would never get married again but Several years later I met a wonderful man. We just celebrated our 33rd anniversary. When we got married he said he didn’t want kids and I was ok with that because I didn’t deserve to have kids after what I did. I turned 30and discovered after time and therapy I wanted a child. We tried,went to fertility docs only to discover I had premature ovarian failure and would never have children. I still can’t see God’splan in this and I think it keeps me from giving God my total trust. I want a closer relationship with Him but I can’t seem to get there. I hope one day it will happen but I’m not sure it will ever happen. I guess what I need is more prayer but it’s hard.
I HAD PROBLEMS WITH MY DAD GROWING UP. NOTHING COMPARED TO DONNA’S. IT WASN’T AFTER HE BECAME SICK AND MY FAMILY BECAME MY PARENTS CAREGIVER DID I LEARN TO LOVE MY DAD AS A DAD AND REALIZE I WAS LOOKING AT THINGS WRONG. I PRAISE GOD I HAD THAT TIME WITH MY PARENTS. I WOULD LIKE TO WIN A COPY OF YOUR BOOK FOR MY DAUGHTER. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS KAY
Kay,
Praising God with you! Love how God works all things out for His good.
Blessings,
Donna
Blessed by GOD using you all <3
YAY God!! Love when He blesses us when we least expect it!
Donna B
Thank you for sharing your experience with me. I come from many generations of alcoholiam, and Motherless or Fatherless children. God has been so good to me, and blessed me in so many ways, He has brought the right people, book, or just a short story like you wrote to me to help me heal, learn and grow. I still struggle with sadness some days, particularely with my Mom. She has been so damaged by her childhood, and can be very negative or depressing. I don’t know if the devil is still trying to bring me down through her or what, because I struggle with my relationship with her. I love her and feel loyal, and I know she loves me. But sometimes it feels as if all her happiness rest on me, and thats hard. I will continue to pray, and know that miracles happen in peoples lives. Thank you for being so open. God Bless, Sharon
Sharon,
Thank you so much for sharing a glimpse of your story. Praying for God to fill you with His peace as He leads you down His path of forgiveness, love and joy. Praying that God will fill you with His joy as you minister to your Mom and as both of your hearts heal. Praying also that God will fill your Mom with His joy and peace and with Himself.
May He become the Joy of your heart as you seek His face,
Donna B
Actually I felt so sad for that little girl who had to experience such pain and sorrow…but so thankful that God in His mercy reached down and helped her find healing and grace to overcome. God is frugal…He uses everything the good, the bad and the ugly…with love He takes the broken pieces of a life in His hands and makes something beautiful from ALL the pieces. He is amazing. Thanks for sharing, Donna.
Carla,
Thank you so much for your tender heart. And I am praising Him with you for how He has pulled me out of those dark shadows and has set me upright in His Light. And I am loving how He is getting all the glory and that He can take and use the story that He has given me to bring others closer to Him.
To HIM be ALL the glory,
Donna B
Hi Donna, Thank you for sharing your story. I let all the following words Fearful, betrayed, abandoned, unloved, unworthy define my life for a long time. Due to things that happened to me, but I am slowly beginning to step out of the darkness & into God’s light. One day at a time… God Bless
Karyn,
Praising God that He is calling you out of the darkness and into the Light of His love. Praying for you as you take those daily steps towards Him and His love,
Donna B.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I have been encouraged by this study although I have not gotten a book. Thank you for your ministry. God bless
Fannie,
So thankful that God is using this study to encourage you and draw you closer to Him.
May He continue to bless you in amazing ways as you journey towards His heart,
Donna B
Dear Donna,
I was so encouraged by your story. Through your story, your not so pleasant childhood times with your dad up to the time you grow up as a woman of God, I am encouraged by how you obediently trust and follow God by making choices/decisions that are aligned to His will. Just last year, I had painful experience with someone I considered as my best friend. I was hurt then and bitterness and hatred started to grow in my heart for her. Because of this, I have noticed that my relationship with God was not going right each day. Since then up to this time, I am asking God to take away the pain, bitterness and hatred in my heart because I could not bear anymore the difficulty of living each day with these sins in my heart. But now when I read your story, I was encouraged to imitate how you decide and make right choices and trust God no matter what. I was also inspired when you shared that your rebound time gets shorterand shorter as you learn to make godly decisions and choices. Today, I will do the same, I will make God as true and eternal best friend so I would be able to forgive my best friend who had caused many painful emotions and bitteness in my heart. And I pray that eventually, all bitterness and hatred I have in my heart for will be replaced by unconditional love through the love, grace and mercy of God. Amen.
thanks for sharing your story. It gives glory to His name.
Priscella,
I am so sorry for the pain that you have experienced with you relationship with your friend. And at the same time, so thankful that God has used that experience in your life to draw you closer to Him. Praying that God will fill you with His strength as you choose to release the bitterness and hatred in your heart. And praying for an even greater strength for you to leave that bitterness and hatred at the feet of Jesus. Praying for God to direct your choices as you make them one by one. And that He will replace all of your doubts with His promises, His grace, His mercy, His love, His kindness, and His discernment as you keep traveling towards the LIGHT.
Blessings and thank you so much for sharing your heart,
Donna B
Priscila, please forgive me for spelling your name wrong. I have a Priscella in my life and my crazy mixed up brain went there as I was replying to your story.
And once again, thank you for sharing the hurts of your hearts here not only with me, but with Renee and this amazing group of women.
Have a great Memorial Day weekend,
Donna
Dear Donna,
Your reply to my message and prayer for me means a lot to me, misspelling my name is of no importance to me :). Again, I admire your openness and courage to share your life with all of us. Your story have driven me to a new level of forgiveness and love. More blessings!
God gave me Phil. 1:6 as a high school senior, but living with the abandonment of divorce and the stigmatism of bi-polar disorder, I have not had confidence in His plan for me. At age fifty-three, I still believe He has plans for me –to give me a hope and a future…most days. I desire a heart 4 Him as I seek to develop “Take Heart Ministries” to encourage one another and lift each other up. I struggle with wanting a public ministry,but for now I am on the shelf….Very hard for an out-going sanguine like me.
Bridgette, God does have a plan for your life and it does include HOPE and a FUTURE in Him. Praying for you as He reveals his plans for your life. Praying that God will fill you with His confidence and His love in such a way that you know that it can only becomng from Him,
Many blessings,
Donna
Donna, I did not experience this myself, however, my mom who is at the age of 76 has. Over and over I hear her and my dad talk about what a horrible homelife with her father that she had. As a result, I really feel she is bitter, and still angry, and has no joy in her life. My sisters and myself are always reminded that our mom had a terrible childhood. We understand the pain, however, she has 7 grandchildren, and 2 great grandchildren that love her and we want her to experience the “joy” in them. She has never let go, and let God. We don’t feel we can say…”move on…” I am hoping that this book would give her some freedom to finally let go, and live a happy life rather than dwelling on the horrible childhood she had. She is missing so much as a result of this. We too, feel she is not “happy” that we are all happily married and have raised and are raising our children in christian homes. Thank you for allowing me to share. I am so glad I came upon this site. In Him, L.R.
LR,
Praising God for drawing you here to Renee’s blog. It’s an amazing place to share the love of Jesus and talk God things with some amazingly incredible women. Praying for you and your Mom as you minster to her. Praying that He will provide the words through you that will move your Mom to His Joy. Prayng for God to work and move your Mom’s heart.
May He bless you abundantly,
Donna B
I’d like to enter your drawing for your book. My daughter has read it and highly recommends that I read it as well (she’s 5 states away). I’m currently unemployed and am unable to purchase one just now.
Miss Penny, thank you for sharing and praying for God’s provision for you.
Blessings,
Donna B
Just want to thank you for sharing your story today. I grew up with an angry father. Thankful to have worked through that past (to a certain degree) and been able to forgive him. Able to enjoy a relationship, though not all that I would have liked, accepting it for what it can be.
I need to share with my fellow sisters….God has so planned for this study at this time for me… you see my husband has been working though his addiction to pornography, had been doing well, until yesterday. While I am hurt; my Confidence is not in him but in Him. I’m going to face the light and not allow the shadow to take back the ground hard won.
Kim,
Praising God for how is working in your heart and your Dad’s heart. Forgiveness is always a good thing!
Lord, I lift Kim’s hurting heart to you and ask that you would fill it with your love, your care and your concern. Fill her with your strength as she continues her quest to face the Light and move away from the shadows. Your Word also tells us that with you all things are possible, so I’m asking that you would take this desire, this addiction away from Kim’s husband. Remove the desire and his thirst for porn and replace it with a desire to thirst and be addicted to You and to Your Word. Praising you and thanking You for Your perfect timing for this study for KIm. Praising you that Kim is finding her confidence in you. Thank you for how You are drawing Kim to yourself and to your promises. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
it’s so easy to place blame…to let others control your emotions. it takes CHOICE to stand up and say you will not let them have that control and take responsibility of how we live.
recently, i have faced some very heart-breaking life changes. i have allowed my husband to label me in the ways Donna described of her father. i am really struggling with the decisions made recently. i choose this day to not be known by the names of defeat, but the names of victory from my Father! i am cherished, treasured, loved, beautiful, worthy, strong and victorious!
I read this verse recently and it really jumped out to me…it made me realize though my life be thrown upside down and sideways, God is constant and He is always with me…loving on me…giving me a sense of peace.
Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
says the Lord, who has compassion on you.
~Isaiah 54:10
Rebekah,
Love how you are taking the promises that God has given you and claiming them for yourself! Praising Him for how He drew you to this amazing verse in Isaiah. Love how He is showing you and telling you that His love for you will not be shaken. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and this verse.
Blessings,
Donna B
2 friends immediately came to mind when I read this, so I’m sharing with them. In fact, I’ve been praying for the dad of one for a year now, even though I do not like this man at all. But – he “deserves” Christ’s redemption as much as I do. Forgiveness, & the freedom it brings, are both so central to our effectiveness as a believer. Thanks for sharing.
Ruth, praying for you as your share with your friends. And I love your faithfulness in praying for your friend’s Dad for over a year. What a blessing you are to your friends and their Dads. Thanks for loving like Jesus!
Blessings,
Donna B
Thank you, Donna for sharing your story. My eyes teared up and my heart was overjoyed that you found Jesus and made peace with your dad and yourself. My father was an alcoholic and there were many times I was afraid of him as I was too young to understand. I remember having to “drive” home while sitting on my dad’s lap when I was 7. I steered and he pressed the gas and brake petals. When I was 9 I “drove” again only from the passenger seat and for a much longer distance. I remember my father coming home drunk, stumbling down the hallway as he entered the house. I remember the fights between my mom and dad. Alcoholism runs deeps in my family. Although the scars have healed and I have long since forgiven my dad, I remember the pain and the distance that was between my father and I for years. I’ve only been a Christian for about 3 years and had I known Jesus during that time the painful years, the hate, the doubt – all that negativity I felt toward myself and my father would have been drowned out by the light of Jesus. Thanks again, Donna for sharing. I’m so happy that you live each day for Christ.
Michelle, So thankful that your scars have healed and that you are moving forward towards the light. And I am praising Him for you and how he has revealed himself to you and to others. Praying for your heart as you continue your journey to his heart.
Blessings,
Donna B
As I read Donna’s story it brought up many memories. My father was an alcoholic and did not show any love. As I grew he resented that I was physically handicaped. After my parents devoriced I often was hurt many times. I often got angry and eventually would not go anywhere with him. After the birth of my first child he sent word that he wanted to meet my husband and see our son. I had not seen nor heard from him in 10 years. We went, but he never showed. I never saw him again. He died 2 years later. Years later the Lord enabled me to forgive him, letting go of all anger, bitterness and resentment for thing he had done. I was able move forward in my life.
Kay, so sorry for your pain. And yet so thankful that God has shown you how to forgive your Dad and to let go of all that anger, bitterness and resentment. Praising God for the work He is doing in your heart.
many many blessings,
Donna B
What a post! Thank you! No other words are needed…you said it all!
Debbie,
Thank you for taking the time to read it and comment.
Praying for God to bless you in and through the story that He gave me to share and through Renee’s story.
May He bless you beyond measure,
Donna B
What a powerful story of pain and the freedom of forgiveness. I’ve been working through issues with my earthly dad for quite a few years now – and this has been a reminder to me of the power of forgiveness and acceptance of a person (in this case a dad!) Thanks for the challenge – and it’s always a great day to start a new chapter in my relationship with my dad!! Will be praying for him with a renewed passion!! Thanks so much for sharing!!
YAY God!! Love watching God at work in your heart. I can read your excitement to move forward and towards the Light in your comments. Praying that God draws you and your dad not only closer to each other, but also closer to God.
Blessing for you and yours,
Donna B.
reading this brings peace to our current situation, i can hardly wait to read more on God’s word and redemption
Carrie, so blessed by your words and excitement to keep turning the pages. You are going to love the remaining chapters and Renee’s “How To’s”.
Blessings to you,
Donna B
Thank you for sharing. This hits home.
Michelle, you are so welcome and praying for you as you process it all. Praying for God to use it as a source of encouragement for you.
Donna B.
This described my life growing up. It took me accepting GOD’s love and reading His Word to finally forgive and accept him as he is. He has since accepted the Lord but hasn’t changed all of his life. When I got married, I felt I had someone who could be the husband to me that my mom didn’t have and a father to our kids that I didn’t have. After 24 yrs., he wanted out. All those childhood feelings resurfaced, but was more devastating, painful, hurtful and total disbelief because he knows the Lord, served Him and raised our children in the Lord. It has taken almost
2 yrs. to finally allow myself to know without any doubt, that HE loves, cares and finds me worthy just the way I am. Would be so appreciative of a copy to strengthen myself and pass on and on and on to help other women. Blessings!
Lisa, thank you for sharing your story with us. And prayng that God will fill you with His confidence. Praying for Him to take those doubts and replace with His amazing promises. You are LOVED. He CHOSE you and He REDEEMED you!! Hold onto those truths and claim them as your own because they are yours.
Blessings,
Donna
Donna,
I hurt for that little girl who went through all that, especially from someone who should have been your protecter and I see Jesus weeping for her too. Below is a link for a song that talks about a might Savior who wants to redeem our stories. Just looking at the number of posts, I am thankful that your story has helped so many. Honor and praise to Jesus a mighty Savior who can redeem all our stories.
Marsha-
Thank you for sharing this video & lyrics to “Here I Am” by Down here- I enjoyed it. Funny how God makes us listen not with our ears but with our heart.
Have a wonderful Memorial Weekend.
Aloha from Hawaii oxoxoxox
Marsha, thank you so much for your tender and caring thoughts towards me. And I too am praying that God will use the story that He gave me to bring Him honor and glory for His purposes – not mine. That it would draw each of us closer to His heart and His gift of grace would overflow from each of us into the lifes of those that may not know him or that may be suffering in pan.
Praising Him and thanking Him for your heart,
Donna B
You ever read something that hits you in the gut? Donna’s story of when she was a child did that to me. I have been walking through a time of healing these past three years, guided by the book “Healing for Damaged Emotions”. I feel I need to write my story down. Not necessarily to share with the world, but to refelct – often – of the healing He has brought to my life. And if I have an opportunity to share it, ok then.
But what stood out to me from Donna’s story, besides the abuse, was when she wrote:
“God took my acceptance one step further. He told me I had a CHOICE! A choice to believe that He is who He says He is. A choice to believe His promises; a choice to believe I was worth dying for; a choice to be filled with His joy; a choice to let Him be my Father, my Abba Daddy; a choice to live with a confident heart.
And it’s up to me to make those choices 24/7. Not just on Sunday. Not just at 9am when my day starts – but constantly make those choices.”
God is showing me the same thing through this time in my life. The healing has come, but I need to choose daily to believe His word, His promises. In my heart has been planted “renewing of my mind”. My thoughts want to follow my emotions, but God is showing me if I continue to focus on His promises, what He has shown me to be true (not the lies of the enemy that held me captive so long) that is how my healing will continue.
Something else I have found to be true during this time of healing. “Going there”, to those memories and facing them, is hard, scary, and at times I wanted to run (why else do you think it took me three years, lol). But God is faithful. He is trustworthy. All things from Him are good. So, I want to thank you for sharing your story, for “going there”, cause I know it’s not easy. It encourages me to share my story (someday).
Daisy, thank you so much for your comforting words. And you should write down your story for your healing. I was so overwhelmed on Thursday morning when I opened Renee’s blog and saw my story on her blog, I experienced this amazing peace and healing as I read my words. It was in Him drawing me to share my story with Renee that added that amazing healing touch to my heart. So hard to explain, but I will never forget the feeling or will I ever have the words to speak my heart to Renee in how she has blessed me and how God has used her as a catalyst for my healing. Praisng God for Renee and the story that He has written upon her heart.
Blessings,
Donna B
what a wonderful testimony & video with music/lyrics ~ the video with pictures & lyrics were extremely important to me, because I’m deaf & can’t hear the music, so the visual was comforting to me ~ it really touched home for me in a different way than hers. I had loving adoptive parents, but my mother was critical & overprotective because I’m deaf with health issues. The language barrier & the lack of family support to me & my family makes me feel unwanted, unloved, abandoned by family, as well as finding out that my birthmother doesn’t want to meet me nor wants her family to know about me ~ I understand the pain of rejection & abandonment; but so glad we all have a loving heavenly father who never leaves us, nor forsakes us. I strive to conquer the challenges with God on my side & my strong willness helps me defeat the odds; but over time, that gets weaker with each bad experience. I wish people would look beyond the handicap & see the person I am. I would love a copy of your book, so that I can have a confident heart & share it with my friends. I always try to share God on my facebook & what He does for me. God bless you for opening your heart to us. I’m sorry you had to endure such pain from your father & I hope/pray the Lord has healed you from the wounds & shows you that He never forsakes nor leaves us.
Mary, love your heart and your encouraging words and amazing story. Thanks so much for sharing it here with us. And I love that video as well. It’s one of my all time favorites. And I too am praising and thanking God for the work that He is doing in each ladies’ heart as we read through Renee’s story. God uses Renee in some amazing ways to impact our hearts for His kingdom and His purposes. And I covet your prayers. Thank you so much for praying for me. I will take all the prayers I can get, because I need them every hour of every day.
Blessings and thanks again for sharing,
Donna B
Renee,
Reading your post above is a flashback to my childhood that brings tears to my heart as I grew up with an abusive mother and an alcoholic father he has since passed from alcohol induced dimentia, at the age of 9 or 10 we acquired a step-father fresh out of prison, and at the age of 16 another step-father that treated us with some semblance of normalcy. I learned long ago that I had a choice to accept this behavior as a lifestyle or to change when I left home to start my own family. While I was successful in preventing the behavior patterns from becoming something my children experienced, my heart cannot wrap itself around the concept of God being able to forgive all that has happened or my hardened heart towards the people I know I should have a warm loving relationship with. I know in my mind that I am saved and that God has a plan for me that is beyond anything I can imagine but my self image has been so damaged that I struggle daily to find peace. I am going to read this book and do the accompanying study!
Renee, so thankful that you have made the comittment to read and do Renee’s study. It will change your life and your heart. Praying for God to reveal Himself in new and exciting ways for you as your turn the pages and read each word. Praying for God to wrap His heart around yours and give you His understanding and praying that He uses Renee’s book and His Word to soften your heart and that He will show you how to forgive as He forgives us.
Thanks for sharing your heart here with us,
Donna B.
Struggling with those exact things from my ex-husband. They sometimes rear their heads (like this morning) and create conflict in my current relationship. My frustration grows because when I feel hurt (by being reminded of past behaviors & situations, etc.) then my current man feels hurt. Then I feel worse.
Praying for you Janelle. Praying that God gives you the courage to let go and let God take those struggles from you. Praying that he takes those past thoughts away and replaces them with His promises. And lean into Him for His healing.
Thanks for sharing,
Donna B.