Fearful. Betrayed. Abandoned. Unloved. Unworthy. Unwanted.
These are a few words that defined Donna and cast shadows over her. Here’s Donna’s story…
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Fearful. Betrayed. Abandoned. Unloved. Unworthy. Unwanted.
These were shadows from a past that would haunt me for years. A past that would hold me hostage and keep me from fully living in the light of God’s love.
Fearful as I watched a hot plate of spaghetti thrown across the kitchen. Fearful as I watched furniture crash against walls. Fearful as my dad fell to the ground a few feet from my mom after he’d swung at her and lost his balance.
Betrayed after my intoxicated father sat me on the back of a horse without a saddle or reins to hold, and then swiped the horse’s rear end. Betrayed as he laughed with his friends while I went sailing through the air and landed on a barb wired fence.
Abandoned and unwanted when my dad filed divorce papers and when I discovered he failed to even get my name and birthday correct on them. Abandoned each time my dad refused to pay child support. Unwanted as years went by without visits, phone calls, hugs, birthday gifts.
Unloved and unworthy when my dad broke promise after promise… to visit, to call, to show up for my high school graduation, to pay for college.
Fearful, betrayed, abandoned, unloved, unworthy, and unwanted. Words and emotions that I let define me and cast shadows over me … until July 2011.
Through several of my Pastor’s sermons and through a friend’s father passing away, I sensed God asking: “How would you feel and what would you do if your Dad were to die this very day?”
I had no answer. I didn’t even know or really even think I liked my dad, much less loved him. Fifteen years had gone by since I’d seen him.
Around that same time, God challenged me with two words: ACCEPT and CHOICE
I had a choice and I made it. Following God’s nudging, on July 1, 2011 I went to see my father and accepted him for who he is.
In doing so, for the first time ever, I was able to ACCEPT my past. God made it perfectly clear to me that I could not change my dad nor my past. My only job was to pray for my Dad. I cannot tell you the burden that lifted from my entire being on July 1st.
God took my acceptance one step further. He told me I had a CHOICE!
A choice to believe that He is who He says He is. A choice to believe His promises; a choice to believe I was worth dying for; a choice to be filled with His joy; a choice to let Him be my Father, my Abba Daddy; a choice to live with a confident heart.
And it’s up to me to make those choices 24/7. Not just on Sunday. Not just at 9am when my day starts – but constantly make those choices. So I get up every morning and choose to believe that God is a Promise Keeper. I make the choice – to believe He loves me like no other can nor will, to pray for my Dad, to let go of the anger. I choose to live in the Light of Jesus so I can have a the freedom and security of a confident heart.
There are days, even minutes, that I don’t make the right choices. But the good thing is as I get better and better at making those choices my rebound time gets shorter and shorter. I get quicker at turning back to the Light.
I’m praying for you today – that together we can turn towards and live in the Light of God’s love. That He’ll give us courage to make the choices He’s asking us to make and accept what He’s calling us to accept so that we can keep turning and growing.
Lord, thank You for Your promises. I thank You that You have called me out of the darkness and into Your light. Thank You for transforming my heart into a heart like Yours. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Donna, sweet friend, thank you for boldly believing Jesus and walking in obedient trust of His calling on your life. Your story and your faith challenge and encourage me to listen for His voice and do the hard thing of believing Him when my feelings are demanding their way. I”m so grateful for the Light and the way you walk in Him!
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Connecting in Community & A Giveaway: What is God speaking to your heart as you read Donna’s story o? Or is there something in chapter 5 that resonated with a change, a choice or a place of acceptance God’s inviting you to? Let’s share here and/or some of the answers to our end of chapter questions this week. Whatever is on your heart.
Donna has generously donated 4 copies of my book {for you or a friend?} Winners will be prayerfully and randomly drawn on Monday from comments left below today’s post. Just click “share your thoughts” and do just that. {If you’re reading this via email click here to share, enter and connect.}
PS. Here’s a music video that Donna shared with me – it reminds us of Chapter 5. After you leave a comment, be sure to watch/listen and let it speak to your heart today or when you have a chance later to come back and stay a little longer.
I have a similar story of abandonment by an earthly father. God has shown me time and time again that he is my Abba, that I need to accept and forgive. Thank you so much for sharing, I needed this reminder to continually bathe in Christ’s love light so my heart will be ready to love, accept and forgive through his power not mine. God’s great timing at work! Alleluia! Go God!
Shawna,
Praising Him with you Sister!! Love how He has so much patience with each of us! And I too need that reminder daily …. no make that hourly! Thank you so much for sharing.
Donna B
This story sent chills down my spine….at no age is it good to have to experience sadness such as that, but I’m so grateful that you allowed God to use it all to draw you closer to Him. I am using my own personal experiences, as well, to show others around me how faithfulness and complete trust in the Lord is the only way to make through difficult times. Blessings to you, Donna, for sharing your story.
Thanks so much Tiffany! I am amazed about how much of how we react or what we do in response to what others do to us all goes back to our choices. It was definitely not fun to go through but I have chosen like you to allow God to use it for His glory. All the glory goes to God! What an amazing thing when God uses our pain to draw others closer to Himself and us closer too! What a privilege to be used by our amazing Father in such amazing ways. I so love HIS grace towards me!
Blessings for you as your journey closer to His heart,
Donna
Thank you for sharing Donna.
I could have written that title. My father was an alcoholic too. I remember enchiladas all over the kitchen floor in the middle of the night. I remember is girlfriend showing up in the middle of the night, and then the phone calls if he didn’t meet her at the bar. I was the unplanned baby of the family. When I was 14 I told my Mom to divorce him. Well daddy married the girlfriend when I was 15, in April or May. Then my Mom remarried, my step-dad was a drunk too. But my world got rocked hard on Aug 6, 1974. My step Mom murdered my dad. I’m 53 now & still recovering from all of that. I would love to read the book A confident Heart, but I get encouragement just from ya’ll being willing to share your painful past with me. It’s so comforting to know that I’m not alone in the disappointments of my growing up years. I tell myself everyday that God loves me, has a plan for my life, but most importantly God doesn’t make junk. My parents might have made me feel all those things – fearful, afraid, unwanted, unloved, abandoned, BUT GOD makes me feel Loved & Special.
Our stories might not be exactly the same but we have over come a lot of the same emotional scars. Thank you so much for sharing Renee.
Patti, thanks so much for sharing your story. And you are so not alone. Praying for healing for you and your heart as well. And you so right!!! God has a HUGE plan for your life! We are both fearfully and wonderfully made for His kingdom purposes!
Thanks for sharing,
Donna B
No matter what I do, God will not let me rant and rage about my father. I have been sitting here wanting to drag him through the mud, but God keeps telling me that I am better than that and to let it go. I have accepted that my father is who he is and nothing will change. I lived 23 years before him and I will continue to be the loving woman that I have become, because of the love and acceptance that I have had all 49 years of my life from a strong mother, a loving family and my savior God!
Praising God with you Ernice!! Love how God is working in your life!
Donna B
Donna,
Wow, what a powerful testimony! I had know idea that you experienced such a shattered childhood. I’m so that your daddy didn’t love you the way he should have. I glad you said yes to Jesus and chose His unconditional love that never fails or disappears.
Thank you for being so revealing and honest about your past. I’m sure that sharing your story wasn’t easy but I truly believe it will give others, who have experienced brokenness such as yours, the hope and encouragement they so desperately need.
You’ve been such a blessing!!
Love,
Leah
Leah,
Thank you so much for always being such an encourager. I love how God gives me my own little “Barnabus’s to walk this journey with and thankful that you are one of those! Can’t wait to meet you at She Speaks!
Thanks again,
Donna B
Wow, timing, God’s timing. I was told by my counselor last night, with my husband confirming his words, that I AM worthy, I am NOT stupid and HE LOVES ME! Thanks for additional confirmation.
Praising God for the additonal confirmation! You are worthy!!! You are loved!!! You are chosen!!! You are redeemed!! And God has an amazing plan for YOU!!!!
Renee, Donna’s story could be my story. I have always struggled with feelings of rejection since childhood and even through marriage, yet I know God has a better plan for me even when I struggle today with feelings like that still. Today is one of those days.
Praying for you Angie Webb.
God, replace Angie’s feelings of rejection with the promise of your love found in John 3:16-17. Help Angie to grasp how wide, how deep, how long and how tall your love for her is. Give Angie an understanding of who she is in and who you are in her! Fill her to the point of overflowing with your love, your grace, your mercy, your compassion, your kindness and most of all, yourself! Guide and direct Angie’s steps toward your heart. Reveal yourself to Angie in ways that she has never experienced. Protect her thoughts and show Angie how to take those thoughts of rejectionthat are not of you and throw them away and replace them with thoughts of you and your love. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
I have felt this myself with my ex. Who was abusive verbally and physically. It is the verbal that stayed with me. God told me that I was ok and yes that I was doing the right thing by leaving and moving out of state at the time. And praise God he delivered me. I forgave and thought I let go of the hurt but these past few weeks I have found that I havent quite succeeded but you know I am not giving up or giving in. I am letting God take control. I give him praise and glory.
Denise,
God I thank you for how you are working in Denise’s life. Go before her, help her forgive in the same manner as you forgave her. Help Denise let go of the hurt and be filled with your love and your peace. In Jesus’ name. Amen
I am so thankful that God is faithful. We never need to doubt that He loves us and is at work in our lives turning painful experiences into blessings, for our good.
Praising God for His faithfulness with you!!
As I read your story Donna, I felt like I was reading my own. My Father was a bi-polar alcoholic and could be the kindest most giving man one week and pure evil the next. Life at my house was hard. I never invited friends over. When I was 10 my Dad left – went on to marry 5 more times. I would visit him when he was “up” and then not hear from him for long periods. He didn’t show for my high school graduation, paid my first semester of college then disappeared, no show at my wedding…anyway you get the point.
What is really odd is God was using all of this in my life before I even knew God. Whenever I spoke of my Dad I only chose the happy memories. Realizing at a young age It did no good to dwell on the bad. I couldn’t change it. My Dad showed up several years ago right after the birth of my youngest daughter destitute and desperate.. I took him in and found out soon after he had Alzheimer’s. I cared for him alone for six years (my sisters and brother would have nothing to do with him). Anyway, all of that happened BEFORE I found Jesus.
After I was saved, I looked back over my life. All of the pain, turmoil and choices I made. I knew right then that Jesus had been with me the entire time. He gave the eight year old the strength to clean the puddles of blood off the kitchen floor after one particularly violent night. He brought people into the life of that young college freshman who would help her find ways to pay for the college degree. He was ALWAYS right there. Loving, comforting and protecting me. That realization is what truly opened my heart to His love and leading. It solidified my faith in Him.
I am not claiming I don’t have baggage from my life of turmoil in those formidable years. I do!! Jesus made Himself known to me at this time in my life so I could deal with those. This book and study is helping tremendously. But I have no doubt that He is leading me, guiding me, holding my hand and will always right there. The lesson learned from Him showing me He was there all along has made me sure He will continue the journey. He truly is the light. I choose to look at my life and my circumstances as a blessing which has brought me closer to God and not a curse I need to escape.
Thanks for sharing Donna. I’m glad you received your blessing out of your ordeal!!
Michelle,
Thanks for sharing your amazing story! It reminds me of the verse in Matthew 25:40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’! You were living out this verse in your life with your Dad. I love watching our God work in the lifes of His daughters!!
Thanks again for sharing. Praying for you as He leads you closer and closer to His heart.
Donna B
“I looked back over my life. All of the pain, turmoil and choices I made. I knew right then that Jesus had been with me the entire time.” That is a powerful statement! Thank you for sharing.
YAY for God’s revelation!!! Love how He promises that He will never leave nor forsake! It goes against His character and who is to break His promises!! LOVE how is our Promise Keeper!!
Blessings and blessings from Him!
Donna B
Thank you for your message! I love your accept and choice. I grew up with a shell of parents and I can say a lot of my doubts and insecurities comes from that. I’ve been praying for healing and to get past the pain of the past. I can’t change my past/ nor my parents but I can accept them and pray for them. I love how you said about turning back quicker and finding the Light…so agree with this. I know that all my pain is serving a greater purpose for Him and his Kingdom.
So encouraging the strength and bravery of all the info posted! Thanks so much!
Julie
Julie,
Thanks so much for your encouraging words and for being a part of this study. I love how God has knitted us all together on Renee’s blog for His kingdom purposes. Love how all of you are opening up and sharing your life stories just as Renee has. So thankful that He has given me a front row seat to watch Him work.
Praying for you,
Donna B
Healing only God can give. Amazing~!! Thank you for sharing.
Praising Him and thanking Him for being my Healer!
Donna B
What a wonderful story of being set free!!!! My dad drank also and Long after he died I realized I missed a gift God was offering me to connect with him in a deeper way. I had helped him and been dutiful, but holding onto unforgiveness caused me to miss a blessing.
One part of the chapter that really spoke to me was, “when we focus our attention on ourselves, we turn our attention away from God. We leave no room in our thoughts to listen to what He is thinking about us, because we have given that place away to be occupied by other people’s opinions. We become overly concerned about what others think of us instead of what God thinks about us.”
Learning to depend on God to tell me who I am has been very freeing.
God bless Renee, saying a prayer for healing from God and wisdom for the doctors.
And Donna, thank you for sharing.
Dodi, So blessed that God is using Renee and her story to touch and transform your heart! And I love how you talked about depending on God for Him to tell you who you are. Praying for you and praising Him for you.
Donna B
Thank you Donna. Isn’t it amazing how when we reach out and share with others, God blesses us and even does MORE heart-healing for us?
My life right now is full of changes. I am in mid 60s, People I have know for years have recently died. Some are moving away to be near kids.
What I cling to, is God is not surprised. I may feel sad at times, but he embraces and comforts me there. Sharing our stories is one way God embraces us and invites others to enter into His story of healing with us, in us and through us. You are being so faithful to respond to every one who was touched by your story.
May God bless you and continue to draw you closer, closer and closer still into His healing love.
I would love a copy of this book. I have seen it referenced in many blogs.
Oh how this story hits home. I have so much fear, hurt, abandonment and feelings of being unloved, I wouldn’t know where to begin. I was not allowed to see my mom as a child but began a relationship with her when I was 18. My sister and I were told she did not want us. From then to now (I’m 49) I tried to establish a relationship with her. I finally gave up last year, but not without years of a roller coaster relationship that involved being treated bad, putdown (in front of others), embarrassments, mistreatment, etc. I finally realized my mom does not have the capability of being a true “mother”. She would go months at a time without even taking my calls; I would feel abandoned all over again. My paternal grandmother raised me and she hated my mother. According to her, I looked and acted like my mother and so she hated me too (at least that is the way she made me feel). I grew up in a home of verbal, mental and physical abuse (although they didn’t consider it child abuse back in those days). I have come a long way with the pain and feeling of being unloved, but I really have a long, long way to go. My fear, pain and the feeling of being unloved by my family is so very real/existent and prevalent! I use to constantly read Psalm 27 especially the verse…when your mother or father forsake you He will take you up! I’m still a work in progress!
RT,
I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in your fear, hurt, and feeling unloved. I have not experienced exactly what you have, but I am 53 and struggle with the same issues. I, too, am a work in progress!
Take care and remember…we are in this journey together.
Gail
RT and Gail,
Thanks so much for sharing your hearts and your stories here! And you are correct, we are not alone and we are all works in progress. My Mom and Dad separated when I was about 5 or 6. And I just turned 50 so it’s taken awhile … ok, a long while for me to get where I am today – 40 something to be exact. I so love God’s promise found in Deut 31:6, “He will never leave nor forsake us”. He is always there even when we don’t feel him!
I love reading Psalm 139 and the promises that Renee shares with us in Chapter 12. “Living In His Security” – a security that can never be taken away from us!
I love how He gives us the ability to make the next right choice …. so keep making those right decisions …. He is there and He loves the both of you like no other can nor will!
Blessings and praying for you both,
Donna B
Also, right before finding this in my email ,I was driving and a song Be The Light was on. Goosebumps!
Cathy,
Praying for you, your relationship with God and with your Dad. Praying for God to heal your hurts and that as you seek God, He will reveal Himself to you as your Abba Father.
Do a youtube search and listen to “Learning to be the Light” by Newworldson! It’s another good one too.
thanks for sharing,
Donna
Thank you so much! I would love a copy of the book. I have recently started going to church and trying to get closer to God. I relate to Dad betraying you. Despite everything my father has done I am still desperate for a relationship with him. However I am slowly realizing I need to put that passion and energy into seeking a closer relationship with HIM, the REAL Father of everyone. I am a great person and if my dad refuses to get to know me then I guess it’s his loss. Thanks again! 🙂
I desire to chose to live in the light of who I am in Christ. It is His battle…His power through me. Gal 2:20, Isaiah 30:15-21. Like Gideon’s battles- God longs to be gracious to us. We can choose. Thank you for sharing your life and what is true.
Billie
Billie,
YAY God!! He wants us all to choose the light!! Keep living in the light!!!
thanks for sharing!
Donna B
Thank you for sharing Donna. This truly speaks to my heart as I am still dealing with the hurt, abandonment, rejection, etc., faced from my mother. And am still battling many emotions as my kids & have had to move in with her & watch/hear her turn her back on God & follow very (blatant) pagan teachings. I cannot twll you how much it helps knowing I’m not alone in the emotions or in knowing God’s the one & only parent will ever truly need.
Thanks again for your open, sharing heart. Prayers for your continued healing & following of His calling.
Jennifer
Heather,
Thanks for the prayers. I can use all of those I can get! Praying for you too. It took me 40 some odd years to finally let go and let God have His way with my heart and my attitude towards my Dad. Praying for God to guide, direct and guard your heart.
And you are so not alone!!
Donna B
Jennifer,
Thank you so much for sharing your heart about your Mom. Praying for God to work in your Mom’s heart. Praying that she will find her way back to Him. Praying for you as well as you deal with the emotions. Praying for God to put His hedge of protection around you and your kids. Praying for God’s healing for your heart as well.
Keep moving towards the Light and to your Abba Father!
Donna B.
I too have issues from my childhood and adulthood from my mother. Sometimes I find it difficult to pray for her and to hope that she will ever have a change of heart. But I know that God never gives up….so I will continue to pray that she sees God’s light. It has taken me a very long time to get over the pain and hurt that she has caused and to realize that I cannot fix it. Only God can.
Gail,
It is hard to pray for those that have hurt us, but when we are called to, it’s for our own good. Sometimes it is so hard for me that I have a wall hanging that states “Prayer is less about changing the world …. and more about changing ourselves.” Thinking I need to tattoo this one on my forehead! And I too as so thankful that God does not give up on us … cause I know, I have given Him more than enough reasons too.
Praying for God to continue His healing process in your heart and in your relationship with your Mom,
Donna B
Thank you for sharing Donna! I too find that most of my struggles with insecurity come out of my relationship (or lack there of) with my father. I have never felt that I was of any real worth to him. But I’m learning to trust God’s words and promises and to believe that they are true. That my value is found in Him, and not anyone else. What I really took away from Chapter 5 was about changing my focus. I need to get my eyes off of myself, get a little less self-aware and become more aware of God. If my eyes are on him, and my ears are listening to his truth, there isn’t room for the lies that Satan would prefer me to listen to. Just this week I have taken the step to become accountable to two of my closest friends. I’ve asked them to check in with me to see if I’m listening to God’s truth. I need that accountability and hope to return the favor. Thank you Renee for writing this book. I’m reading through it for the second time now and taking advantage of the online resources. I’d love to have a hardcopy (I’m reading on Kindle) to share with a friend.
Kelli,
Love how God is using the story that He gave Renee to change us and make us into the women that He wants us to be for His purposes. Love how He shows us how to trust to Him day by day, minute by minute!
Praying for you and your journey to the center of His heart,
Donna B
Walking in the light for me right now means knowing that God is there and that He sees what I and my family are going through even when we don’t feel Him. Last night was one of those times. We had to have my daughter taken to the hospital by ambulance because she was having seizures. The whole time we were there, I could hear the words “I am here. I see your fear.” I made the choice to believe in those words and could feel the difference as I made that choice. My heart and soul became calmer and I experienced peace in the midst of the storm. She is better this morning. Praise God!
Praising God with you not only for His peace but also for your daughter doing better! We serve an amazing God who knows everything there is to know about us …. down to each little hair on our heads!! Praying for you and your daughter as you walk in the LIGHT!!
Blessings,
Donna B
Thank you Donna,
These were words I needed to hear today, I have been in another dark mood. I have still been thinking if I cannot trust my parents who can I trust and remembering all my past sins so I cannot trust even myself. A bunch of baggage is also surfacing but you have reminded me it is my choice to let God’s o[onion shape my view of myself and He is the perfect parent.
Thank you Renee,
Your book is reinforcing me to focus on our loving Father instead of myself and to pray and read His Word more.
YAY God!! And as that baggage resurfaces, please visit Chapter 12 of Renee’s book and allow His promises to fill you up!!
Praying for you!
Donna B
This week’s lesson has really spoken to me in who I should look to for acceptance. Struggling with my daughter’s rejection has caused me to reexamine why I cannot deal with rejection. It all goes back to my childhood when my father too rejected me. I haven’t seen my real father since I was three. My stepfather was much like Donna’s father in his abuse and alcoholism. The bottom line is we live in a fallen world and we have to deal with the results of what sin has done to each one of us. To know that our Abba Father loves us in the way that we (as women) long to be loved is something we should never forget or take for granted. This study has truly spoken to my heart and is such a blessing. I’m already a different person than what I was when I started this study. Thank you Renee!
Praising God with you Chris!! I love how God has prompted and is prompting so many to share their hearts here with Renee and I. I love watching Him change hearts! Praying for you as you process your past hurts.
Loving how God is using Renee and her book to change so many hearts for his kingdom purposes! Can’t wait to hear how God will keep drawing you closer and closer to His heart! You are going to love the rest of the book and Renee’s how to’s for letting go and letting God rule our hearts!
Many blessings,
Donna B
This probably is the closest I’ve ever read to my own story. I looked my father up last summer to put an end to my constant curiosity of who he really was and also to fulfill the need to forgive him and get a lot of unending questions answered. The timing was impeccable because I learned a lot about myself through 3 months of visting him in hospice. See I found him as he was dying. He was terminal and discovering this was really my last chance, I took that whole time to learn about him. I had a lot of ground to cover after 30 years of no connection. I will never regret the opportunity, and I came away from that a much better person. I went with an open heart despite the abuse I saw in my childhood, and this time with an adult attitude, I was able to see what he truly lacked in his heart. My faith took me through it all last summer. Thank you for such a wonderful, very similar story. It did my heart wonders. I sometimes have regrets about the fact I wish I’d asked more questions, but really it just was good to close a door on my past. I feel I can go forward with a much more appreciative open heart.
Thank you!
Pamela,
Blessed by your story as well! Praising God and thanking Him for how He allowed you to meet with, forgive and extend grace to your Dad! What an amazing sotry of healing! LOVE IT!! And love seeing how God has worked and is working in your life. Praising Him for your trusting, faithful and healed heart.
May God continue to bless you and use you in the lives of others.
Donna B
wow that those words bascilly are the words that over shadow me
one word that i used to own was worthless
i would say i was worthless and feel worthless
all the time . i struggle with the shadow of unlovable on me
i hear that being played everytime in my ear because that was told to
me by someone from my small group
some times i belive that lie that im unlovable and its hard to have relationships or connect with anyone cause i keep hearing that word
I can relate to being overshadowed by a word or description that sticks in your head from the past….it takes ten positive thoughts to overcome just one bad thought. I too feel unloved, unworthy, etc. This chapter helped me to realize that God has loved me and accepted me for who I am all along. I pray that I will truly start to rely fully on God’s love and his light. Thank you for this study. God Bless you all and may we all continue to grow and have confident hearts.
Brittany and Paula,
Thanks so much for opening up and being so real with your thoughts and your feelings. Praying for you both and asking God to show you how to replace those lies that you have heard with His promises. Anytime I get those thoughts, I grab Renee’s book and read through all of the promises that she has listed in Chapter 12. I also will read Psalm 139 over and over until it saturates my thoughts.
Love seeing God working your hearts. Keep running and turning to the Light.
Donna B
What a profound lesson……..we all have skeletons in our closets, thank you for showing us that we choose to let them continue to hang around or we can opt to throw them out! Forgiveness and accepting those we love the most, for who they are, is one of my biggest struggles, but your willingness to do so with everything you’ve been through, makes it seem so much easier. Thank you for sharing your hardships and insight!
Lisa,
So thankful that God has chosen you to be a part of this amazing study! I love how God has used Renee’s book and her story to bring us all together for His wonderful teaching of us all!
Praying for you as you continue to turn those pages of Renee’s book.
Donna B
Thanks for sharing your story, this should help alot of people to move beyond hurts from their past. You are truly a blessing.
Nita,
you are so welcome and that is the prayer of my heart that God would use the story that He has given me for His glory and honor – to help others not only move past their pain, but to move closer to His heart!
Thanks again for blessing me,
Donna B
Your stroy touch my heart, I have been feeling alone too,but today I realize that I needed to change my thinking and believe that I am worhty and good. That I can be all that God wants, if I stop the negative thoughts. I will not become my negative thoughts.
Thank you for sharing your touching story. God is Good
Vicki, much thanks for your kind words. And yes, you are worthy, you are loved, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, you are a daughter of the King of Kings, a member of THE Royal family of all royal families! You are HIS royalty!!
Donna B.
This very much what I needed to hear today. Thank you. Love the song.
Praising God for His timing and His work!
i am very grateful for all the inspiring words during this time of dealing with my son being alienated from me! I have learned to let go and let God! Please keep me in your prayers and hope to hear from you soon!
Lord, I pray for restoration between Brenda and her son. I don’t have all the words or the reasons as to the why for alienation, but I know that you do and that’s all that matters. I pray for repaired hearts and repaired relationships. But most of all, I pray that you will be the centerpiece of Brenda and her son’s relationship. Asking for you to do what you do best, draw both of them closer to you and as they draw closer to you, that they would draw closer to each other. Cause them both to release their agendas and replace it with your agenda. Focus their thoughts on you and only you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Thank you so much for sharing your story Donna! I am from a broken home and my dad let me down many, many times in my lifetime – I made some pretty dumb choices when I was in the “midst of the storm”! I am so thankful that the Lord’s plans are perfect for my life and that HE never lets me down, forgets my birthday…… He knows the number of hairs on my head!! Thank you ABBA Daddy!!! Praying for you Donna and for your earthly father! God bless!
D’ana, I went there too with some of my choices! I was trying to find love and acceptance in all the wrong places for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes with guys, sometimes with drugs and sometimes with alcohol … not some of my proudest moments. But the great thing to remember is that God is a GOD of forgiveness and a God of second chances. I love how he looks beyond the sin and to our hearts! Thanks for the prayers …. especially for my Dad. I don’t believe he is a Christ Follower. He is about 77 years old and is in a nursing home because he has no other options. Material for another post at another time. But He definitely needs Jesus in his life!
Thanks much and so thankful that we are doing this journey together through Renee’s book and her blog.
Donna B
Donna- Thank you for sharing your story it hurt reading it but i am glad you could share to help others that can learn from you . Thank you Renee – For writing your book. I am learning from God and your book. I have struggled my whole life with very very low self esteem. cause i struggled in learning and i has hindered alot in my confidence . I am now trying to conquer this and Help my son with his confidence because he has a bad speech delay. I dont want him growing up thinking he doesnt have confidence. Reading these stories and book really is speaking to my hear. Thank you Lord for what you have done for me already. Thank you Ladies i know there are alot but if you think of me. Please pray for me
Rebecca,
Thanks for sharing your story and being so truthful with all of the ladies within this amazing group. I love watching God direct everyone here for His purposes.
Lord, I praise you and I thank you for Rebecca and for how you are using Renee and her story to teach Rebecca about your great love. I would ask that you would replace Rebecca’s low self esteem with your promise that she is fearfully and wonderfully made. Fill Rebecca with your confidence and your wisdom as she helps her son with his speech delay. Fill her son as well with your confidence, your wisdom and your calmness. Cause them both to lean into you for encouragement. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Thank you for your transparency. those words would describe me, too. Not the exact circumstances, but similar. We need to be bold to share our stories, because they bring glory to God. The only light I contain is the light God has given me. i need to “let my light so shine before men, that they may see my good words (the outworking of God’s healing and power within me) and glorify my Father in heaven.”
Kj,
You are so right on all of us being bold to share our stories. Not only do they bring glory to God, but they bring His healing to each of us. I was amazed this morning as I opened Renee’s blog and saw my story there and how He used that exact moment to heal my heart even more! God does have a purpose for all of our pain and that purpose is to glorify Himself. I once heard a pastor say that the one thing that God cannot do is praise Himself, it’s our job to praise Him!! And so that’s what I want to do with my life and with the story that He has given me!
Giving Him all the glory!!!
Donna B
Thank you Donna for so eloquently and rawly expressing your experiences and feelings. I am working through “issues” with my father as well and have found comfort and confidence in God’s word as I work to move on from my own troubled youth. Recently, I have felt a calling to help and guide other women who have been beaten down by life… A Confident Heart is a tool that I have referred several friends and clients too and I would love to be able to give a copy to someone who really needs it.
Carol,
I love that you are using A Confident Heart to minister to others. I so love the message Renee shares with each of us. Praying for God to heal your heart and give you victory over your past. Praying for Him to fill you with his wisdom and grace as you minister to other women.
Blessings,
Donna
this was a great testimony. I’ve had my share of pity parties and it’s easy to wallow in such circumstances. it’s these difficult times that we have to release our guilt to God. only he can take away the Hurt. when he heals that we can move on. thanks for post
I love how God is not only the healer of my diseases, sickness and also the healer of my heart!! He loves for us to live in victory and in wholeness that can only come from Him!
Blessings and hugs,
Donna B
Thank you for the wonderful post. It has given me lots to think about.
You are so welcome. So blessed by Renee’s book! And as I proccessed Chapter 4 and 5 about 10 or 11 months ago, I had lots to process as well! Praising Him that He was processing right there alongside of me and thankful for Renee and her “counseling” through her book. Praying for you as you process too!
Blessings,
Donna
This is all so helpful to me — allows me to see the release and acceptance and how great it can be in our growth process! Thank you! I always pass this book title on to others as must read as we can all so relate!!
First Renee, I’m so glad you are feeling better!
Donna,
My heart ached for you as I read your story. Most of us never realize the pain other people are going through. And yes we all have a choice, God gives us the choice to choose our way, where the pain never goes away, or his way where we cast our burden upon him, forgive others and ourselves and let go of the pain so we can clearly see the future God has waiting for us! Choosing God’s way makes all the difference!
I love the video with the song, I was singing along!
Love that you love the song!!! It gets my toes a tapping and my thoughts turned upwards towards Him and not on myself! So blessed by your comments! thanks for sharing,
Donna B.
Angela,
So thankful that God uses our messed up lifes for His purposes and His glory! So blessed to be on this journey with an amazing group of women!
Blessings,
Donna
Thanks for sharing, Donna! What really stuck with me this week is Renee’s discovery that self-doubt often stems from self-focus…God illustrated this to me yesterday in the midst of a pity party I was having for myself! I was doubting myself because the house didn’t look the way I wanted–and it hit me I was letting the state of the kitchen dictate how I viewed myself! God used the study to convict me that I need to focus on him–not my performance. I went to his promise in 2 Corinthians 12:9…”My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Thanks for the great study Renee!
Blessings,
Jennifer
Jennifer,
I know … isn’t this the best study ever! Love how Renee makes it so personal and so real! I visit Chapter 12 of Renee’s book just about every day … sometimes two and three times a day if not more! I call it Renee’s Cliff Notes for achieving A Confident Heart!
Thanks for joining us for the journey!! Keep turning those pages. You are going to love Chapter 11…but no skipping the other chapters to get there!!!
Donna
Wow, how I can relate. “I cannot change my Dad or my past. My only job is to pray for him.” That is where I have slowly found myself. The more secure I find myself in Christ, the more I can let go and let God. But everyday every hour it is a choice I have to make and I wish I could get it right more hours then I do!
Dara,
You and me both on the getting it right part!! I still have my struggles, but I know that it’s God’s journey for me … one step at a time … one choice at a time! So thankful for His grace in our lifes.
Praying for you and you choice to let go and let God have His way with you!!
Donna B
Donna — thank you so much for sharing your story, for you openness about your life and how you have been able to overcome with God by listening to Him. I love the song!
Alice,
Trust me ,,,, it’s all God! He used Renee and her story so much to change my heart!! Praising Him alongside of you!! And so glad that you loved the song! It’s one of my favs!
Hello again!!!
I love this song!!
I just wanted to share that I did bring my laptop outside!!
I ran right into the light!! (the sun)
I lifted up my hands and spun around!!
Then I ran around some more while the light surrounded me and filled me!!
Praise God for this glorious day
I pray that we are all blessed by Jesus` wonderful love, peace and joy today!!!
`Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. PSALM 90:14)
Karen, praising and raising my hands with you!! One of my most favorite songs that we sing at church! And after Chapter 4 and 5, I absolutely love it! So glad that you found Renee, this online group and soon her book! A life changer for me!
Praying for you as you search for a church. Praying for God’s provision of both a church and friends!
Blessings from the USA!
Donna B.
Donna – thank you so much for sharing your story! God has really blessed me by leading me to this wonderful community and book study! It really encourages me to hear what GOD CAN DO!!!!
This song is wonderful and powerful, I feet like running into my sunny back yard and raising my hands to the beautiful light this morning while I spin around! I probably will do just that after I bring my lap top outside!!
The community in which I live here in Eastern Canada is a very spiritually dry town, however it is ripe for havest and I am believing God to start moving many hearts hear soon!!!! Since I moved here 6 years ago after I married my husband I still do not many Christian friends and do not have a spirit filled church to call home either (we from time to time attend the church my husband grew up in, because that is the only one he is willing to attend)
At one point this spring, I was bouncing around different Christians blogs and someone on one of them highly recommended your Book Renee ” A CONFIDENT HEART” It could not find a copy anywhere. So I finally downloaded it on itunes and have been reading it on my iphone for the past five weeks. Yesterday after looking for your book at all our nearby bookstores (reading on my iphone is neat, but not my prefered way to study a book like this) I still couldn’t find a ‘hard’ copy of your book…I did however order it online and I am so excited to get it in my hands hopefully early next week!!…. Technology is not my strenght LOL
However – GOD has certainly used technology to help me feel connected to some powerful Christian women:) Thank you so much for being there and sharing you lives with me
I really enjoy reading the posts when I get a few minutes, for that I am so thankful to have my iphone, I use it for everything but a phone 🙂
Blessings to all of you from my home here in Canada to yours
Karen
OOPS -Sorry about all the spelling errors above, I was so excited after I typed this message I pressed ‘send’ without proofreading ( very unlike the perfectionist I am – hope you still understand my post 🙂
Thanks Donna for sharing! What stood out to me in chapter 5 was where you talked about if we find our thoughts focused on ourselves, such as how we’re feeling or our fears, worries, insecurities, etc… We are not following Him! It is too easy for me to give in to being focused on me….. Worried what others are thinking about me, etc…. I have to remember it is all about HIM! I read in Matthew recently, and this reminded me of Matt 22:16, which shows us that Jesus never really cared about what others thought! He wasn’t swayed by man. We are so lucky to have His example and footsteps to follow. I need to remind myself this every time I find my thoughts drifting off to ME!!!!! Also loved the reminder that the “mind set on flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace.”. (Romans 8:6). The story of Gideon is so relatable too…… It also reminds us to focus on God’s power and Promises, and not ourselves.
Thanks Renee…..praying for your health.
Loved Chapter 5!! Life changing for me! Love how God speaks to each one of us and meets us each at our own point of need. I love how Renee captured so many of God’s promises in Chapter 12. I keep my copy of A Confident Heart near by just do I can refer back to Chapter 12 when I start “freaking out”, which can be quite often! Love chasing Satan out of my thoughts with God’s promises!
Keep focusing on HIS promises!!!
Donna B
Wow, that was hard to read. That is a painful childhood. I would love to read A Confident Heart on ways to move through past pain. Steph
It was hard …. but I’m not too sure I would want it any other way. It was through my childhood that I became a Christ Follower! I know God in ways that others don’t based on the experiences that He afforded me. And a few months ago, I would have not have been able to say that. Renee’s book, “A Confident Heart” was a heart and life changer for me. I believe so much in the message that God gave Renee, I will be more than happy to send you a copy of her book if you will either email me at [email protected], facebook me or leave your address here.
Praying for you as God helps you move past your pain,
Donna B
I am so grateful that God does not give up on His children. Looking at my past there was shame and regret. I’m beginning to see that is satan’s work. To stay stuck in that shame is his doing. The only way out is to see myself as God sees me. I am fearfully and wonderfully made to serve my Savior. I don’t want to block the light of Gods truthin my heart anymore. I am 62 andhappy to say I became Gods daughter in 2003. I can now claim that because I am a follower of Christ and have stepped out of the darkness I will have the light of life. Thank you Renee for The Confident Heart.
Christine,
Praising Jesus with you!! My most favorite title of all — Christ Follower!! Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I was once challenged to read Psalm 139 and was amazed at how much it truly helped me to see myself as Jesus sees me. So thankful to be on this journey with you through A Confident Heart – for me, it was a LIFE changer! And I thank God for giving Renee her story to share and the boldness and courage to share.
Keep running to the LIGHT!!
Donna B
As I read this, I was thinking of my dear friend, whose mother has been hurting, disappointing, and betraying her for years. I thought of my past hurts and rejections and how this might be shaping my present. I am pondering what God might be doing now to transform me.
Mandy,
Praying that God will reveal Himself to you in new and exciting ways as you keep turning the pages of A Confident Heart! God is using Renee’s story to change my heart from the inside out and I am a firm Believer that He is always at work in our hearts. Let Him do the work …. you just do the obeying. Praying you are faster at it than I was ….I’m kinda of a slow learner! Praying that God will aslo change your heart from the inside out.
Blessings,
Donna
Donna, thank you for your words and for your prayers. You’re so right–let Him do the work. Amen! Praying for you, too.
So proud of you Donna! And honored to be friends with you.
Leila,
Thank you so much and can’t wait to see you next week!
Wow, Donna’s story really hit home. Thanks Renee for sharing that. Also, thanks for following God’s calling and writing A Confident Heart! This is my second time going through the book. There are a number of times have underlined and wrote ‘me too’ next to an area!! God is really using your book to help me break through and see who He wants me to be. The accepting my past and making the choice to be believe God and who He says He is are both areas I struggle with at times. However, with God’s patient guidance, His word, great friends and of course your book : ), I am doing both a lot more often.
Heather,
Thanks for sharing! And it is hard and I still struggle, but the great news is that it is in that accepting of our pasts and making the next right choice that will be our break through to be the women that He created us to be. I keep Renee’s book within an arms reach and when I get those doubts or those triggers start going off like crazy, I turn to the promises that Renee shares with us in Chapter 12. Praying for you dear Jesus sister!
Powerful
thanks Gail! Praying for God to use it for His glory and for His kingdom purposes!
I read Donna’s story and as I was not treated like that by a father. I was abused by a husband and I have carried my heart full of anger for years, so by reading your book I hope to find solice
“The Lord is with you mighty warrior” Judges 6:12
I heard the Lord tell me this as I read this chapter. I love the story of Gideon.
I need the challenge from Renee to not silence the story God has given for me to share His light.
Thank you
Donna, thank you for sharing your story, what a powerful testimony to our wonderful Father! Renee shared “Your story and your faith challenge and encourage me to listen for His voice and do the hard thing of believing Him when my feelings are demanding their way.” Having an adult daughter with autism has been wonderful & taught me so much. But when she is going through a rough patch (as she is right now) your encouragement and Renee’s prayer this morning, bring the joy of knowing my Father into focus!
Lord Bless you sister as I know He will!
Amy, Thank you so much for sharing your heart this morning and for your encouragement. Praying for you and your daughter this morning. I so love how you shared that God is using your daughter to teach you much about HIM. I so love HIS GRACE!!!
Praying for you,
Donna
wonderful video! pretty pictures too!
wonderful video! beautiful pictures!
Sharon,
I so love that video and the song too!! So blessed that God used it to bless you!
Donna b
Annie,
Thanks for the verse! Love it and I love how He is also my Defender! And how is the Father to the fatherless! I love the verse in 2 Corinthians 2:14 that Renee shares in Chapter 12 ….” But I thank God, who always leads us in victory because of Christ.”!
Victory is OURS!!!!
Thank you God!!
Donna B
Donna,
Thank you for sharing your words.
I do remember I went through some things like that.
I thank God I was obedient to God and I listen to the spirit.
My father is with God,
Margarita,
Praising Him for your obedience as well!!
Donna B
Reading Donna’s story brought tears as I thought of people who had harsh, unloving fathers like her’s. But her story has a happy ending because she trusted God and sought Him, accepting her dad and choosing to trust the promises of the Lord. Her story brought to mind my own reconciliation with my father. While he did not phsically harm me, the emotional separation was so painful when I went out looking for the love he did not and could not give me. When I became pregnant at age 16, he blocked me out totally – it was as if I didn’t exist! He did not acknowledge me, address me, look at me or ask about me, Many years later when I married and had two sons, my father never came to visit or showed any interest in any of his grandchildren. When my oldest son had just celebrated his fourth birthday and my youngest ws not yet two, my husband died in an aircraft accident. My dad came to see me once to ask how I was. I was afraid he was coming to ask me if he could live with me, because he was never very responsible in providing for his family, let alone himself. Years later the Lord convicted me to reconcile with my dad, as I had purposely distanced myself from him with my list of justifying excuses (he was drinnking, smoking, living with different women and expressed no desire to know or see his grandsons. When I finally was ready, the Lord had me call me to request a meeting with my dad and the Lord reminded me over and over not to focus on my dad’s shortcomings, but on my sin of rejecting him and confessing my own, apologizing for not being a good daughter, and for becoming pregnant. After my tearful confessions, he also wiped tears from his eyes and said he had not exactly been a good father. So was the beginning of a reconciled relationship with my dad. I have continued to call and visit him, with my sons,until my sons moved out on their own. My youngest son would ask in amazement, “how do you do it? You seem to know what to talk about with your dad.” I said that I simply asked and talked about the things that my dad was interested in. My dad and I still have nothing in common, but I am honoring my father and honoring and obeying the Lord by forgiving my dad for his poor parenting. In my Christian walk, I attended a ladies’ morning meeting for years and the lady teaching from the Bible, said, “Notice that the commandment to honor your father and mother, does not come with conditions on whether they were good parents or not, the commandment is to honor them. Praise the Lord for the work in your heart and life, Donna! Only He could make these changes!
And Renee, I really appreciated your comment that Donna’s story, “challenge and encourage me to listen for His voice and do the hard thing of believing Him when my feelings are demanding their way.” That is how I need to respond to the Lord when my flesh wants to rule.
Thanks so much Donna for the courage to share your story with us. It tells me that there are so many women hurting that you don’t even think and know them. Thank God for his mercy, He is using you and Renee to bring healing to women. May the Lord heals us.
Thank you for sharing your story .
Just love Chapter 5, especially how “we focus on our insecurities and cast a shadow of doubt in our minds by blocking the light of God’s truth in our hearts”. And I’m totally agreeing with you on asking “God to use our doubts to draw us into a deeper place of dependence on Him”…….this is so true for me and where I am now in my life. Thank you !