Thank you for joining me here in my little corner of the world. I want to welcome those of you hopping over from today’s P31 Devotion where my friend Donna shared her story of forgiving her father’s abusive behaviors. Today, I asked Donna to share more with us.
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I strained on my tip toes to peek through the curtains. Fear and panic gripped me as I watched the car go round and round. Spinning through one ditch then raging across the street, throwing dust and rocks into the air and barely missing a row of mail boxes. And finally, coming to a complete sudden stop as smoke billowed from the engine.
What started as a simple late night chore the night before ended in the chaos of Dad jumping in the front seat of Mom’s car the next afternoon and literally driving it to its’ death.
The night before mom had taken a late night trip to the laundry mat in my dad’s car. On our return trip home, my dad’s car overheated. Mom had no way of getting in touch with my him so she kept driving – it was late and she was alone with her three little girls.
He was furious about the damage to his car, so the next day He sought revenge by ‘doing donuts’ in the ditches alongside our country home until Mom’s car died.
This was one of many explosions. But it was the one that sent my mom over the edge and led her to pack up and leave. A few days later, after Mom had sold all our furniture, we loaded onto a gigantic gray bus that took us to my uncle’s house. A few weeks later we moved in with my Granny.
The next forty plus years, my Dad walked in and out of my life just as he drove the car in and out of the ditches that afternoon so many years ago. Broken promises. Broken hearts. Broken dreams. Broken girls. Broken family. And yes, still a broken car.
Recently, my Dad was kicked out of his nursing home for the third time for his temper and was admitted to a mental hospital. I sent an email to my friend Stephanie asking her to pray. Her reply, “…have you forgiven your dad…just wondering…wanted to make sure you were set free from that before things may get even worse with him.”
As I processed her question, I was flooded with emotions and memories of the car spinning uncontrollably in the ditches so many years ago, but God also instantly flooded my heart with His words from Matthew 18: 21-22, “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven.
I was able to respond with a “YES”! I had processed past hurts several months ago with Dad and intentionally went to see him after 15 years of absence. As God walked me through the visit, He made it perfectly clear that I could not change Dad, I could not change my past BUT I did not have to let my past define me.
In her book, A Confident Heart, Renee shares her powerful journey of forgiveness and says this:“Confidence came as I followed God’s command to seek and offer forgiveness.” Her story has helped me see that it’s possible to forgive and worth the redemption God promises when we do. As I have sought to follow God’s command to seek and offer forgiveness, He has filled me with His confidence to make hard choices – the choice to accept Dad – the choice to pray for Dad – the choice to forgive Dad – the choice to live in God’s confident hope.
I wish I could tell you that it was a one-time act of forgiveness like the one we’ve received from Jesus; but it wasn’t. It’s not. Forgiveness happens as current or past events surface. The key for me is to continue the forgiving – continue with the seventy times seven – to continue the circle God started so that He will complete it: “being confident of this, that He who began a good work in {me} will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6).
Lord, thank You for Your gift of forgiveness. Please help me to forgive those who have hurt me –just as you have forgiven me – especially when the memories of the past come flooding in. Help me keep no record of wrongs. Thank You for filling me with Your confidence. Thank you for freeing me from my past and my pain and not allowing them to define me. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Won’t you join me in living a life of freedom – freedom from your past – freedom from your hurts – freedom from your fears?
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Today Donna and I wanted to share a 
“Living in the Light Giveaway” which includes a Willow Tree “Angel of Hope,” a Fall Yankee Candle and 3 signed copies of my book, A Confident Heart.
To enter to win, simply sharing your thoughts with us about Donna’s devotion or blog post here – or simply let us know how we can pray for YOU as you process Donna’s stories and God’s truths about forgiveness in your life.
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What an amazing story of forgiveness! I really appreciated your friend Stephanie’s question to you. I felt the tears coming as I read it and your response. It’s wonderful that God gives us good friends to help us through those tough times in life. May you be richly blessed!
Forgiveness, as we all know, is very difficult at times. I’ve forgiven many people in my lifetime. The most current is my husband. I had forgiven the initial wrongdoing, but I keep confronted with the same hurt from him. I’m finding it increasingly difficult to do. But I keep praying and trying to work through my hurts, in hopes he will eventually see the damage being done.
This was a really good post because I had to stop and think about who in my life I had not forgiven, just to make sure there were no lingering ghosts of unforgiveness out there. Well I found some and went to work immediately on forgiving all so I can be set free from Satan’s traps! Thank you for such a wonderful post!!
forgiveness is one of my hardest things to get rid of..
Can also really put a damper on ones growth with The Father.
Forgiveness is such a difficult thing to do…and even when I believe I can forgive, I find it so difficult to move forward! My parents continue to live a miserable existence; I know I can’t expect them to change; I must keep changing. But I find it so hard to continue to take their verbal abuse and not let it affect me. I wish them the best; I have no desire to get back at them or wish them evil, but there continues to be a distance between us, and I don’t seem to have the will to continue to put up with their antics. Yes, they are my parents, but to have anything to do with them brings me such heartache. At this time, they have chosen to have nothing to do with me, and I am satisfied with that fact…I truly don’t want to be with them the way they are. I pray that God gives me strength to come to some understanding and acceptance of my parents.
This story is so familiar. While my father has always been in my life the abuse we had as children still lingers. I’m grateful that the Lord choose to save me so that I could forgive my Dad and still have a relationship with him, unfortunately my siblings and mom have not. Unlike my siblings and I my mom still lives with the emotional abuse of my dad daily. Please pray that she and my dad will come to Christ so that healing can begin. So touched by this today. Thank you!
This is an e-mail I recently sent to some friends. Have a beautiful day!
Hi all! Happy Fall! Ok that was really cheesy! I am sending this email for myself mostly so that I will remember how God spoke to me today but if it helps anyone else, praise the Lord.
I have trouble with forgiveness. I don’t know why, but I actually enjoy holding a grudge. Did I really type that?
I was hurt today. I overheard a lady talking to an associate about me on a phone call. She didn’t realize that she had forgotten to put the mute button on. Then when she came back on (even though I was really there the whole time) she lied to me. I was really angry!
I could have let this spoil my weekend, seriously. But the Lord in His perfect way began to soften my heart. I actually prayed (reluctantly at first) for the girl and the Lord changed my heart. Bitterness doesn’t hurt anyone but the person that is bitter. It is SO much better to forgive. I still feel a little sad and hurt, but a burden has been lifted since I forgave her!
I love the forgiveness song by Matthew West
http://www.matthewwest.com/
Have a beautiful weekend!
This made me think back the time that I had unforgiveness towards my dad. As a child, he was never home. Always traveling on business, until one day he got very ill. He had gotten a stroke and his health deteriorated for 8 years. Well, he was home all the time now but was not the dad that was taking care of us. I was 7 years old and now we had to take care of him. Not fair! Why God! I thought. Slowly my sadness would be turning into resentment, anger, shame and unforgiveness. After 8 long years, my dad passed away. I became numb and rebellious towards God. Didn’t understand why God allow so much suffering in our family. At the same time I felt relieved. We could finally move on. Could I really? I was still carrying that
dead corpse on my back (unforgiveness).
I thought I had a good excuse why I was the way I was. I had let my circumstances and my past define me.
Not knowing that I was in bondage, I continued to move different places thinking life would be better. Little did I know that God was still pursuing me.
Finally one day, after becoming pregnant and being in a ungodly relationship I told God. Ok God, I need to make it right with you. Help me because this is getting too hard for me and I didn’t like the person I was becoming. One of the thoughts He brought to my mind was carrying unforgiveness towards God and towards my dad. Thank you Lord for forgiving us and for your love and mercy.
God Bless!
Praising Him for His forgiveness too!! We are loved by an amazing God who loves us like crazy in spite of ourselves. Love that he loves us unconditionally. No matter what we do – he still loves us!!
This story of forgiveness is all too familiar. My father was an alcoholic and before he passed away four years ago, I had to do some forgiving. It was difficult but I knew for me, I had to work through all those feelings from my past. His death was still hard because I had to mourn the father I wanted him to be even though he and I were not close. Forgiveness is a powerful thing especially for those doing the forgiving. Thank you for sharing this story.
The devotional gave me hope. I havent read the book yet. Imagine how I will feel after I read it. Ive started to realize a few negative things over the years about my parents and there are some other negative things from my past also that I think this book would help me to let go of them. Thank you for sharing this part of your life.
So thankful to be a child of God,
Tammy Whitworth
So thankful that the story and the words that God gave me bring your hope. As He is our hope. Praying for you and praising him alongside you for the fact that we are His children.
Very hard to forgive those who have hurt us but a big reminder for me thinking how many times I have hurt my Jesus and the many times He gives forgiveness! Thank you Jesus
wow great story i grew up never knowing a father or who my father was . and my mom passed a couple years ago she did a great job and i love her dearly i really read this story and it hit home i got some praying to do and a lot of forgiving
Praying alongside of you.
wow that was powerful!! I’m learning how to be more forgiving when I am wronged. it’s not always easy but when I struggle I just remember how God has forgiven me and then it’s not hard at all. when we are wronged, it hurts and we feel the pain…. it’s not a good feeling. Remembering how we feel in those moments helps us understand how others feel when we have wronged them too. blessings !!
I too have Dad issues. He failed our family and caused many heartbeaks along the way. I have asked God to help me forgive. I just continue to pray for him to be right with the Lord.
I too have Dad issues. My Dad abandoned our family when I was 7. Many heartbreaks along the way. I have chosen to forgive Dad with God ‘s help. Dad is 85 now still does not live near us, my concern is for him to be right with the Lord before he goes. Thank you.
Thank you for your devotional. Recently feeling a bit empty and without connection to God. It is hard for me to talk to Him. My job is very demanding and I don’t feel confident enough in what I do. My doubts about myself and my abilities are kicking off…Living away from my family makes me sad and I miss them so much…crying to God and asking him what he wants from me, why is He keeping me here…Thanks for your words today, it reminded me that I can find comfort and ecouragement in Him no matter where I am, what I do and how I feel. I am His precious daughter for ever.
Praying that God will fill you with a desire to thirst and seek after Him. Praying that he will take the sadness away and fill it with His joy – the best kind of joy. I too live about 11 hours drive time from family and it hard – especially around the holidays. Praying God will direct you to a church family that will love on you like crazy. That’s one of the first things I did when I moved from Texas to Kansas City was search out a truth teaching church. God has provided some amazing friends through it! Praying the same for you.
This is a tough one for me. I’m so thankful for Christian women who give such wonderful encouragement. Thanks!
My husband of 31 years has filed for divorce.
Lord, I would ask that you would flood Sheila with your love as she processes the hurt from her husband filing for divorce. Go before her, comfort her, guard her, protect her and wrap your arms around her and wipe the tears and anger away. Provide for her and draw her close to your heart. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Thanks so much for sharing this! it really touched me. I have the book on my kindle, I am definitely going to read it now!!
Wow! Today’s post really caught my eye. I know exactly what Donna feels for I was raised with rage and chaos like this. I have worked through forgiving my parents (my father died in May) but now I am faced with forgiving my husband who’s rage is not quite so “in your face” however the feelings it creates in me are so real and hurtful I am struggling to even stay in a conversation much less a marriage lately. I need to get this book and work through forgiveness–the Lord keeps bringing forgiveness up with me. Bless you both!