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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Read An Excerpt: Chapter 1 & 2

Living Beyond the Shadows of Our Doubts

Today I shared the story of how I discovered the shadow of my doubt.  That day was a huge turning point for me.

As I stood in my bathroom looking at the humongous shadow on my wall, I sensed God whispering to my heart: Renee, you can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light.

Slowly I turned back toward the lights above the mirror, and realized I was no longer standing in the shadow. I also realized I’d created the shadow by blocking the light.

Shadows are created all around us when something blocks light. And so it is with the shadow of doubt.

When we focus on ourselves and how inadequate we feel, or what others are thinking about us, we block the light of God’s Truth in our hearts which casts a shadow of doubt over our thoughts.

Our thoughts end up being mostly about ourselves: how we’re performing and what others are thinking about us. It’s not that these thoughts are bad. It’s just that when we focus our attention on ourselves, we turn our attention away from God.

We become concerned and sometimes consumed by what others think of us, instead of what God thinks about us.

If we want to live beyond the shadows of our doubts, we have to turn our eyes toward the Light by focusing on God’s thoughts towards us, instead of our thoughts about ourselves.

Turning toward the Truth
Until that day in my bathroom with God and my shadow, I thought doubt was simply a negative emotion. I kept thinking I’d be more confident if I’d just try harder to believe in myself. But it wasn’t about trying harder, it was about turning sooner.

Self-focus had turned my heart away from God’s promises. What about you? How many of these doubts have lured you away from the truth and into doubts shadows?

  • I’m not good enough.
  • I’m always disappointing someone.
  • I can’t follow God consistently.
  • I’ll never change.

That day was my turning point. I wanted to burn the image in my mind. Turning away from the shadow—turning toward the light. Turning would be crucial.

Turning away from self – Turning toward God
Turning away from doubt – Turning toward Truth
Turning away from darkness – Turning toward Light

Instead of waiting for God to zap us with confidence and remove our doubts, let’s ask God to use our doubts to draw us into a deeper place of dependence on Him and His promises. It’s not necessarily going to be easy, because it requires turning, but it is possible and worth what it takes to turn.

Turning leads to transforming, as we allow our thoughts to be made new, and transforming leads to believing as God’s thoughts become our Truth.

When doubt casts its shadow over us, let turn back to Jesus and live in the Light of His truth:

  • When we feel inadequate, God says: You are CHOSEN.
    “‘You are my witnesses,’ declares the Lord, ‘and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he’” (Isa. 43:10).
  • When we feel afraid, God says: You are REDEEMED.
    “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine” (Isa. 43:1).
  • When we feel unloved, God says: You are LOVED.
    “You are precious and honored in my sight, and . . . I love you” (Isa. 43:4).
  • When we feel forgotten, God says: You are REMEMBERED.
    “See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands” (Isa. 49:16).

_____________

I know this is a lot to process but today can be a turning point if you only remember this: Having a God-confident heart is not about trying harder, it’s about turning sooner.

I’m giving away two copies of A Confident Heart and two sets of conference calls for the upcoming Confident Heart online Bible study hosted and led by Melissa Taylor from Proverbs 31 Ministries. I’ll tell you how you can win in a minute but first I want to tell you about some free encouragement/resources:

Now, be sure to click “Share your thoughts” below and do just that. I love hearing from you and praying for you! Your comment can be short but it’s what I need to have your name for the drawing.

Comments

  1. Your book looks as though it may truly be an answer to my prayer. It isnt easy to diagnose how and why we sometimes end up spiritually apathetic but if you’ve had a close spiritual walk with the Lord in the past, your life feels so empty when you aren’t continuing that close spiritual walk with Him. It isn’t intentional but when it happens, you feel the void and the emptyness hurts. I recently remarked to a friend I wanted to reignite that passion for Christ and I’m praying for God’s grace to bless all of us as we seek Him through your words. Thank you so much for finding the way to hit on a subject so very close to my heart!

  2. Renee, My husband is a pastor and 5 years ago right after we moved to a new church in a new state, we discovered I had a brain tumor. A few weeks after the surgery, I knew I was going to be a little bit different, like my children say, my “filter” was effected and sometimes I speak before thinking it through….well, really most times, I do now. But within a couple of months after my surgery, the elders told my husband that we weren’t a good fit and asked him to resign. We had only been there 7 months. One of the reasons they said was because he could not “hit the ground running because of me”. Not only did we lose our church, our ministry there, our home (we’d moved 2000 miles!), my health, our income, but we both lost our confidence and self worth. It has taken us these past 5 years to do some mending. God has brought wonderful loving people into our lives to help, even to help provide like he fed Elijah via ravens. My husband is now back in the ministry and pastoring a church of 20 instead of 700. But we know the faithfulness of God. I would love receive a copy of your book. I know that it would bless me (I read the first chapter 2x) and I think it would help my 3 grown children that were also scarred. Blessings,

    • I can relate so much to people judging me by my limitations. I have a chronic illness and it’s hard to live in a world that judges you by your accomplishments. My heart goes out to you. I’m so glad you are in ministry again!

  3. I have been feeling like I am in a huge turning point in my christian and personal life. This is has also been causing me to deal with some things and make some serious changes in my life. Doubt and fear of failure have kept me from doing many things in my life, I really want that to change. I am currently invovled in the starting of a new church and there are so many opportunites there for new ministries. I am not sure where I fit into the bigger picture of this church but I know God is workig on me to overcome some of the past so that I can do his work through this new and growing church. I feel like he wants to use me but I need to get somethings settled within me before Ican move forward. I am excited to read this book and realywant to bring it into a new womens bible study.

  4. I am 50 years old, 6 ft tall and shaped like a pear. I am mocked constantly and no man ever wants to date me. Many women don’t talk to me…they are so petite and cute, and let me know that they are so much better than I am. (The “Christian” women are the worst of the bunch.) As such, I’m all alone. I’m not thrilled with God. How can I possibly have confidence?

  5. This was just what I needed. I have been awakened to the fact that I am married to a verbal abuser, and my oldest son is also verbally abusive. Even though we are in counseling, at this point my husband is not able to be told the truth about his behavior. For 27 years I thought I just wasn’t good enough, and all the stuff that goes with it. I feel like I am at the end of my rope. The Proverbs 31 site was sent to me by my sister. I am so grateful to her for that. Thank you so much.

  6. Just the title intrigues me…I downloaded the first chapter to read…
    Count me in for the drawing for the book.
    (although I am unable to do a conference call at this time-thank you)

  7. WOW…….. This devo couldn’t have come at a better time. I am so full of doubt after 14 years of marriage to a man that made me more insecure then ever. I am now a single mother and have so much doubt. I have not felt like I was loveable or worthy of love for many years. I realize now that the love I need is from God and not man. I just got your book and plan to have Bible study with my “Sisters in Faith” which is what I call a small group of girl friends. My friends do not have your book yet and I would love to win the books and given them to my friends. Bless you for your helpful words!

  8. I am tremendously blessed from reading Proverbs 31 woman devotionals. They are always on target for me. I also share with others whenever I am led to do so. May God continue to use all of you to transform lives for His glory. I would love to be entered into your drawing.

  9. I HAVE DONE 2 THINGS WHEN YOU FIRST OFFER DOWNLOADING YOUR IST CHAPTER I READ IT. YESTERDAY I LIKED YOU ON FACEBOOK A VERY NICE PAGE. I WOULD LOVE TO BE ENTERED INTO YOUR DRAWING. THANK YOU FOR ALL SHARING AND ENCOURAGING . GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS KAY

  11. I recently got my copy of your book, A Confident Heart, and love it. It is really an encouragement to me so far and look forward to more every day. I have already decided that all my family and friends should have it too. I appreciate your honesty and being real with me about your doubts and thoughts. It is exciting to me that you are sharing your journey. It is so obvious that God is using you to touch many other lives through your experience. I am looking forward to how God uses me now through my journey of A Confident Heart. Thank you Renee for sharing and for the opportunity to win additional copies to give to others.

    Chris

  12. Received my copy of ACH this week. Am currently using the 7-Day Doubt Diet as my daily devotion to prep for Melissa’s Bible study. Would love to be able to give a copy of ACH to my daughter who, unfortunately, seems to have ‘inherited’ my self-doubting nature.

  13. This is the exact message I needed at exactly the right time. Amazing how God works….

    Thank you!

  14. I finished reading A Confident Heart last week. My first thought was, “when did you live in my house and see all of this?” I have been blessed so much by your honesty, your love for Christ, and love for family. You are without a doubt my sister whom I’ve never met.

    You have eloquently written about struggles that so many women face. Thank you.

    ~Diane

  15. I am very excited to read the “Doubt Diet”. I am constantly struggling with this. As a pastor’s wife, there are many times when I feel like I need to step out of my comfort zone, but being an introvert, it is really hard for me to do this. I would rather stay in my safe and easy “comfort zone”. I think this is such a great subject for all us females as we tend to struggle with low self-esteem a lot. I would love to receive a copy of your book! Thanks again for sharing your thoughts with all of us!

  17. Feeling inadequate is what I have done today. Thank you for your comment on turning sooner. Turning to God is exactly what I need to do at all times.

  18. Thank You Renee for pointing out things that many of us have been thinking about already. I have a problem with my doubts,especially when I get my eyes off the Lord. This is so easy to do, but then we are not picking up our cross and dying to self. Thank you for the promises that we need to center on.

  19. Thank you so much for your words. Not only did I need to hear what you had to say, but a friend of mine does as well. I forwarded your email to her.

    Blessings.

  20. Renee, you are blessing me with your words! What encouragement. It was a light bulb moment when you said that we become consumed with what others think about us INSTEAD of what God thinks about us.

    The negative thoughts, I’ll never change, I’m always disappointing someone, etc. are unfortunately much too prevalent in my mind. But your entire devotional was a balm to my soul. Thank you for the hope that even after all these years God can heal my thoughts.

  21. Hi Renee, I have just returned from my daughters in OK after a months stay. She gave birth to our first granddaughter on July 31 so I went out to help her get settled in since there is no family and very few friends out there. Her husband has been stationed at FT. SILL since 6/’09. Long story short…our relationship has been strained since she was very young, she is 27 now, I got saved when she was 13 but my self doubt and fears have always made me doubt EVERYTHING I do. This month with her and the baby was strained to say the least but my time with my new angel was amazing. I have tried to mend my relationship with Jillian but she is not saved and won’t have anything to do with it so I think she still sees me as I was and not all the changes I have tried to make. Your post today was exactly what was wrong with my visit, my daughter actually used the words “you care too much about what other people think about you” in an argument we were having. So thank you for reminding me and showing me the picture of how shadows only appear when we block out the light. That was an eye opener and a good reminder.
    I am in the process of starting my own accountability group b/c of one of your posts I received in an email a while ago. So hopefully with godly women in my life on a regular basis I will be able to focus on the truth and not the lies and be a better person to my family.
    Blessing, Mair

  22. Thanks for sharing! I have signed up for the e-mails and really look forward to reading them!

  23. Renee, like so many others your words have reached a tender spot in my soul today. Turning sooner . . . before doubt has time to take root. This is a powerful reminder and thank you!

  24. How I would love to rid of doubt, but since that’s unlikely to happen anytime soon, I’ve prayed instead for God to use my doubt to draw me into a deeper place of dependence on Him, as you wrote.

  25. I can so identify! This spoke volumes to my heart. Thank you for sharing what God spoke into your heart. How His graces reaches to touch us and teach us and transform us in the simplest yet most profound ways…a shadow of all things!

  26. Renee, I know you are flooded with posts, but I just wanted to share with you how God is working in my life. I am very quiet and tend to keep to myself. It is very hard for me to meet new people and start conversations. I have been reading “A Confident Heart” and just last Sunday I sang a solo, “Heal the Wound” by Point of Grace at church in front of 300+ people. Thanks to your book, your transparency, and the Holy Spirit, I was able to do this. Also, I have signed up for the online study with Melissa and can’t wait for that to start. God Bless you, Renee!

    • WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so proud of you Cheryl. How the heart of our FATHER must have pounded with joy and celebration as HE watched you sing. Sweet sister, you go girl!! Praying for more and more GOD-fidence to be yours in Christ as you trust in Him for your confidence, hope and courage!

  27. Renee, I came across your book and blog after reading your devotion in Encouragement for Today… wow, did I ever need to hear these words! God used your powerful testimony to shine a light on some things in my heart that I’ve struggled with for years but never knew exactly how to put words to them. Your description of our doubts is so powerful and has left a lasting impression on my heart that I pray will begin to transform me from the inside out. I hope and pray that today will truly be a turning point for me- Surely, doubts and insecurities have hindered SO much in my life! Looking forward to picking up your book SOON and am praying about participating in your online study coming up…
    ~Blessings to you!

  28. Renee,
    I enjoy your devotionson CrossDaily. I was insipred to start a poem from your beginning in 8/31 Encouragement for today…Hope you don’t mind
    When you feel unloved
    God says you are loved… Here’s my Son, He was despised and rejected.
    When you feel unstable…
    God says you are able… Here’s my son, A man of sorrow acquainted with grief.
    When you feel unworthy…
    God says you are worthy… Here’s my Son, Wounded for your transgressions, bruised for your iniquity.
    When you feel unsteady…
    God says you are steady… Here’s my Son, By His stripes you are healed.

  29. Renee, Thank you for this post. I struggle with doubting myself all of the time. I just feel like I am not good enough. I have very little self confidence. I am trying to turn this around by being in God’s word more and letting him lead me.

  30. Renee,

    I have truly been blessed by your devotions on God-Confidence. This is the area in which the enemy has been attacking me. I have begun to turn back toward the light. As you said it is not easy but I know that I just have to push forward. I have also donwnloaded your promises. Thank for allowing God to use you.

    God Bless.

  31. Thanks so much for your encouragement! I really have to learn to focus on Jesus! I am looking forward to read more as I downloaded the first chapter. Be blessed!

  32. A friend of mine posted your devotional from Proverbs 31 Ministries on my wall on Facebook. She lives a million miles away in Costa Rica. She became a friend through a short conversation at a church where my husband and I were on staff and she and her husband were visiting missionaries. I keep up with her via Facebook and I can’t even say I know that much about her, but what I do know is that she loves Jesus! She posted the devotional about doubt on my wall and it was such a timely encouragement for me. She had no idea what my circumstances were. We are at a new church and I have just taken on a new job…a job that I don’t feel qualified for. We are in a new staff position that is challenging to say the least. I had been praying that God would encourage my heart and give me direction. I believe your devotional was an answer to that prayer. God bless you, sister. Thankful for “friends” that may not know your birthday or your favorite ice cream, but they know and serve the same real Jesus that loves and cares for us so intimately!

  35. Liked you on Facebook and have added you to my google page and email. You probably wouldn’t know it to speak with me but I struggle with social phobias. My heart tells me that the LORD has something much better..a ministry of encouragement. I’m believing God. Thank you for your transparency.

  36. Renee,
    What an appropriate word picture of how distorted our views can be when our eyes no longer focus on our Savior. Thank you for relating your insights with us.
    Colleen

  37. Thank you for sharing what is a most intimate picture of where you are on the journey. You have created for those of .us who have lingered to long in the “shadow of doubt” the way out of this maze of darkness. You have shown us ” the Way, the Truth, and the Life.” I choose to dispel the doubt by following the Light. Thank you for allowing God to speak to and move us from a place of uncertainty, to a place of intimacy with the Father. BLESSINGS!!!

  38. Renee what a blessing you have been to my life. A vocal student of mine had tickets to the Conf in Princeton,WV(where I am from) because she couldn’t go. At the time I was going through so so much…yet another break-up with my fiance of 22 months just 2 days before the conf., and it hurt so much worse than my divorce in 08. I came there a broken woman…believing in her Father and following His will which is why my fiance and I decided to split. From the moment you spoke it was as if God had me looking in a mirror. I have been through so much, a diagnosis of ms in 03, divorce, dealing with an abusive father until i was about 18 which effects my relationships, and other things i won’t say here. Thank you for showing me that I am not alone in this. Bless you my Sister. Now if I can just find my song again…I stopped performing after the divorce. I would love to get the book, i need it, but just can’t afford it right now.

  39. WoW!! I am so glad I stayed up late to check my email! All day the thoughts flooding my mine were; Who am I? Since my accepting Christ as my savior, my husband loosing his business 2 yrs ago, (no unemployment or income) and my mothers passing my family has tried to make me be that old me not that she was a bad person but she let them bully her and took what they dished out the put downs… any way this post came at the perfect time for me. Thanks. Will work on our budget to get your book sounds like it is just what I need right now. Thank you and God bless you.

  40. Today I had to travel and during the drive, I battled thoughts of fear and inadequacy. I reached my destination and in fact took care of some responsibilities and drove back home. I journaled about my feelings while driving after reading your wonderful devotional. Me centered. I want to turn and I can turn with His help. I feel inadequate because I do not drive on the highways. like my friends and family and am in no way perfect but God my Father is perfect and that is enough for me one day at a time! I thanked God for his help today.
    I still cannot get the Doubt Diet devotional. Can you help me? I forgot the person you mentioned for me to contact about this problem. Thanks

  41. Renee, I loved your devotion and blog!! I have always struggled with doubts and feelings of not being good enough, feeling like I was not “getting it” when trying to be a Christian, and knowing that I was a disappointment… I have felt them all!!! I am supposed to speak at my church’s fall women’s conference in Oct. and the closer the date gets, the more I doubt that I can do this… I don’t know what they were thinking when they wanted me to do this! I think, so often, if they really knew what my life had been like, they wouldn’t even want me in the church, let alone speaking at their conference… Yes, I have doubts – more than I could begin to count. But I also know that I have God on my side… And with Him, nothing is impossible – even me speaking at this Fall Conference.

    I already have my book and cannot wait for the study to begin!! I could use some confidence in my heart and life… If I was selected to get the conference calls, that would be great! If not, somebody else needed them worse than me!

  42. How perfectly this fits my needs, my feelings, my self-doubt today! Thank you for these words, for the assurance that it is God that I must find my ability in, not myself. Thank God for those wonderful things to ponder!

  43. After years of feeling I was never good enough I am so thankful that God has changed my thinking. It has taken words of encouragement from others and learning to accept compliments to change my thinking as well as getting into God’s Word and finding answers for myself, not just what other people used to tell me. Bless her heart, my mother who is now 98 has lived with these feelings for years and even now will make comments about things in the past and how she suffered. I have been able to change some of her negative thinking by telling her how sorry I am for things that happened before my time which I cannot change but I am trying to make what time she is with us a better time. Renee, thank you for writing this book. I have gleaned much from you devotionals and articles already so I know there will be more from the Bible Study. Thank you and God richly bless you.

  44. Renee,
    Love getting your devotions in my inbox, ‘liked’ you on facebook, and have read chapter 1. Would love to read the whole book. Want my confidence to be in God alone, all the time. Thank you and Melissa for arranging the online study. Thank you for sharing your story to help others.
    Blessings,
    Julie

  45. Renee,

    Thank you for your devotions, they all touch my heart and challenge me to become a more confident mother, wife, and friend. I have gone to your free resource page, liked you on Facebook, read the 7 day doubt diet, and now have signed up for the online bible study with Melissa, now all I need is the confident heart book!! I would love to win a copy and further my journey to breaking free of doubt and become a more confident person. Thank you for your devotions and writing this book.

    God bless,

    Emily

  46. I struggle with doubt also. I so much want to have a close walk with God and be confident in Him. Today I made a choice to trust Him, and it was a better day. I want to live in the truth and not be in darkness. I tend to go with my feelings instead of depending on God. I know He is the truth but I struggle to walk in the Spirit.
    Your devotions help a lot.

  47. Thank you for sharing this devotion Renee. I have been wrestling with lots of doubts lately. I believe that is why God brought me this message today. I am 3 weeks into my homeschool year and things were going great till I started doubting everything I was doing. I’ve been having my quiet time with God each morning and he has given me peace and strength. Yesterday morning I had to do some running around first thing in the morning so I missed my quiet tme. I became very anxious trying to teach my strong willed child and get it done before I had to run out and pick up my older child from cross country practice and get dinner ready before my other child came home from football practice. Anyway, I started to become anxious and I think my son picked up on that. He was being very difficult. I got upset and started wondering if everything I was doing was what I should be doing, am I doing it right, will my child learn anything, and on and on. I’ve had a good couple of weeks homeschooling and now I’m doubting if I can even continue. Wow, what a difference when I took my eyes off God. He also sent me, in the mail today, a complimentary homeschool magazine with an article in it about what I may be doing wrong to help me refocus. God is Great!!! I can’t wait till the study starts!

  48. I think far too often we, as women, get tangled up in people pleasing, trying to be the best at everything and thereby failing to do anything well. We must stop and listen to His voice to direct our days, to give us that calm and peace we need to know that he will compass our day and be our strength 🙂 I’m learning that lesson as I’m overcoming paralyzing self-doubt and letting go of so much that I have allowed Satan to pile on top of me! I still have a long way to go and I plan to read this book very soon! May God bless you, Renee!

  50. I would love to read your book! This is a definite struggle for me and even more so in the past year. I read Chapter 1 and would love to read more!:)