Today I shared the story of how I discovered the shadow of my doubt. That day was a huge turning point for me.
As I stood in my bathroom looking at the humongous shadow on my wall, I sensed God whispering to my heart: Renee, you can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light.
Slowly I turned back toward the lights above the mirror, and realized I was no longer standing in the shadow. I also realized I’d created the shadow by blocking the light.
Shadows are created all around us when something blocks light. And so it is with the shadow of doubt.
When we focus on ourselves and how inadequate we feel, or what others are thinking about us, we block the light of God’s Truth in our hearts which casts a shadow of doubt over our thoughts.
Our thoughts end up being mostly about ourselves: how we’re performing and what others are thinking about us. It’s not that these thoughts are bad. It’s just that when we focus our attention on ourselves, we turn our attention away from God.
We become concerned and sometimes consumed by what others think of us, instead of what God thinks about us.
If we want to live beyond the shadows of our doubts, we have to turn our eyes toward the Light by focusing on God’s thoughts towards us, instead of our thoughts about ourselves.
Turning toward the Truth
Until that day in my bathroom with God and my shadow, I thought doubt was simply a negative emotion. I kept thinking I’d be more confident if I’d just try harder to believe in myself. But it wasn’t about trying harder, it was about turning sooner.
Self-focus had turned my heart away from God’s promises. What about you? How many of these doubts have lured you away from the truth and into doubts shadows?
- I’m not good enough.
- I’m always disappointing someone.
- I can’t follow God consistently.
- I’ll never change.
That day was my turning point. I wanted to burn the image in my mind. Turning away from the shadow—turning toward the light. Turning would be crucial.
Turning away from self – Turning toward God
Turning away from doubt – Turning toward Truth
Turning away from darkness – Turning toward Light
Instead of waiting for God to zap us with confidence and remove our doubts, let’s ask God to use our doubts to draw us into a deeper place of dependence on Him and His promises. It’s not necessarily going to be easy, because it requires turning, but it is possible and worth what it takes to turn.
Turning leads to transforming, as we allow our thoughts to be made new, and transforming leads to believing as God’s thoughts become our Truth.
When doubt casts its shadow over us, let turn back to Jesus and live in the Light of His truth:
- When we feel inadequate, God says: You are CHOSEN.
“‘You are my witnesses,’ declares the Lord, ‘and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he’” (Isa. 43:10). - When we feel afraid, God says: You are REDEEMED.
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine” (Isa. 43:1). - When we feel unloved, God says: You are LOVED.
“You are precious and honored in my sight, and . . . I love you” (Isa. 43:4). - When we feel forgotten, God says: You are REMEMBERED.
“See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands” (Isa. 49:16).
_____________
I know this is a lot to process but today can be a turning point if you only remember this: Having a God-confident heart is not about trying harder, it’s about turning sooner.
I’m giving away two copies of A Confident Heart and two sets of conference calls for the upcoming Confident Heart online Bible study hosted and led by Melissa Taylor from Proverbs 31 Ministries. I’ll tell you how you can win in a minute but first I want to tell you about some free encouragement/resources:
- My Free Resources page has a list of promises to personalize and more free stuff!
- You can click here to download Chapter 1 from A Confident Heart and watch the book trailer here.
- “Like” my Confident Heart Facebook page, and you’ll receive (almost) daily encouragement and scriptures from me.
- You can sign up for email updates in that little box up at the top to receive my posts via email. That way you’ll know about free resources I add, give-aways coming up and all kinds of things you don’t wanna miss
Now, be sure to click “Share your thoughts” below and do just that. I love hearing from you and praying for you! Your comment can be short but it’s what I need to have your name for the drawing.
I can’t believe all of the free resouces that you have–I am going to download them. I get your Facebook posts and I have chapter 1 of your book. It is so wonderful of you to share all of this with us. I also love how you share your heart with us. Thank you! Praying for you and your family.
Renee, Last evening I spent talking to my husband about how useless I feel and that I’m not friendworthy. In the middle of the night I woke up and picked up your book and started reading. The Light shined and I feel completely different today. Then I read the devotion today and am so excited about the bible study. I’ve downloaded your free resources. You are a great writer and I love your analogy about the shadow and light. I’m so glad you were born. Kathy
Thank you for the devotion this morning! I’m looking forward to the online Bible study coming up. It’s easy to be intimidated by the Proverbs 31 woman, but a look at Psalm 139 will make us feel as special as God wants us to feel. Thanks again for sharing.
It seems that every day I feel like a failure, God puts either your blog, devotion, or post right in my face lol. Today was another one of those days…when I say something & it was stupid & all eyes are on me. Or the fact that I had a meeting that went over & couldn’ t be there to help my daughter with her homework. I also am behind on laundry & need to go grocery shopping. Not only do I feel as a failure in their eyes, but God’s. I am sure he didn’t create me to be a mess up….I don’ t know how the Proverbs 31 wife did it! Well, I always look forward to your blogs. Hope i win. Take care.
What a great devotional. Wow. I live with doubt everyday, chronic, damaging, life-undermining thoughts. I lose my joy daily. My focus on ME has left me empty, always focusing on my worries, concerns, fears – I just want to flip it all inside out. God, thank you for speaking to me today! It’s time to get a little more eager to enjoy the life I’m given and accept positive things in my life. Thank you!!
I really needed this today! I have been battling myself all day long with doubts about….well everything. I am ready to turn and get out of this shadow of doubt. I have lived my whole life in it and it is time to turn it over to God! Thank you for sharing Renee!
Thank you for your daily encouragement. When you’ve been in doubt all of your life and now your a senior and realize all the mistakes you’ve made and can’t make up for them the daily encouragements makes me think about how God can still use me. It’s hard now to want to slip back in those doubtful situations but self-talk helps. Love you, Sharon
Hi Renee,
I signed up to receive your posts by email. I look forward to starting the study as well! Thanks for this great giveaway. I would love to win 🙂
Hi Renee! I am so encouraged by your book and website! I have only read the first three chapters but I am constantly reminding myself of your words and the scripture you provide in it. I used to be so confident and I probably still appear that way to most. However in my mind I doubt myself and am consumed with worry about EVERYTHING. I am so blessed with a wonderful family but the enemy keeps attacking my emotions and confidience as a wife, mother and women. You don’t know how many times a day I repeat to myself “God’s love is perfect so that I don’t have to be!” from Chapter 2. I am so thankful that you have shared your story and given us an honest look at your struggles. I am truly trying to regain my confidience and realize that I do not have to please others, I cannot be perfect, but that I am a child of the King and as long as I am living in Him that is where I can find my worth! I pray that this is just the beginning for me so that I can freely live for Him and show my family a true heart for Christ! Have a blessed day Renee!
What a blessing this book is going to be for so many!! I have done all four of the items and have been sharing your blogs with my friends.
Thank you for the encouragement from your blog today! I am so weighed down right now from doubt, discouragement, insecurities, etc. I have discovered that I am a ‘people pleaser’ and I am determined to surrender this to God and become a God pleaser. I pray that I would turn to the light when the issues of darkness come my way and stand up and believe who I am in Christ! I cannot wait to start the online bible study Melissa! Thank you for sharing your struggles and victories with women in order to be an inspiration and help to us! Be blessed!
Just read the first page of the chapter 1 download! Can not wait to read the rest!! I would love to win the book to read the rest!!
This was an on time devotion/post for me. Funny how God can give us the same word over and over again (I was at SHE Speaks where you shared this message) but it means something different and specific to your very present situation (He is a very present help) every single time.
Last night I was really struggling with being patient/gracious towards my baby boy. He has been struggling with ezcema the last few weeks and has been waking up throughout the night and won’t stop scratching the affected areas, which makes it harder to heal. After several nights of no sleep (and being pregnant) I just got so frustrated yesterday and felt I wasn’t loving and patient and calm with him like I should have been. And immediately after I was filled with guilt and self-doubt, allowing the enemy to tell me I’m a terrible mother who can’t keep a control of her emotions with a baby whose helpless in the situation.
Then I read your devotional and then this post and was reminded of God’s unfailing love and positive thoughts towards me even when I don’t have positive thoughts towards myself. And that He isn’t through with me yet and even though I may have a long way to go, I praise God I’m not where I used to be.
Looking forward to reading your book when God opens the door for me to have it.
Bless you sweet sister in Jesus.
This devotion was right on time! I have a big issue of worrying about what everybody thinks of me and not doing things because i feel that someone is not gonna like what i do, etc. My family is in the process of stepping out on faith and seeking God’s leading in moving churches. We have felt lead to leave and are in the process of visiting to figure out where God wants us and the only thing that i have a fear of is losing friends or what everyone at our home church is saying or thinking! We just want whats best for our family and to be where God wants us to be to serve him better. I know that I have to turn back to the light and follow God’s calling and not let the issues of self-doubt stop me.
Thanks so much for this today!
I am so looking forward to reading this book!!! I need it!! Thanks for all of your encouragement!!!
Because of self doubt I am about to lose my marriage…I wrote a comment and had my address wrong therefore Iost all I wrote….so I am trusting in God …he knows I have no money…that my pray is answered and I am picked to recieve a book so I can join you. God through your words today has moved me and pray I that I am choosen before I become completley lost. Amen
I think we all struggle with this to at least some degree. Thanks for sharing your story! (And I had already liked the facebook page, subscribed to your blog, and downloaded the first chapter-thanks!)
You pinned me down – in my heart! This morning when I was asking the Lord for direction for coming year (tomorrow is my 58th birthday)… He brought me exactly on same message you were discussing – and it was a confirmation of His Word… how I love your encouragement and I will never forget this message – imagine how in almost 30 plus years I was imprisoned in that shadow of doubt – that no matter how much He is using me, I always tell Him am not worthy. Even when many would say how gifted I am, still I could not see myself as one, and even how many times He told me I am chosen, precious is His sight…. still….
But today, with your message, I will remember NEVER to be far from the Light, or put something to block the Light and that too I may continue to share this Light for the rest of my life…I will never live in that shadow again….I thank the Lord for the gift of life through you….God bless you more….
I just love reading what you write. I love your uplifting spirit that you provide. I want to be as positive. I have been through a divorce and now my mother has passed away a few months ago. I feel I was a failure in my marriage and I feel I wasn’t a very good daughter. I need to be more positive about myself because all this negativety is beginning to make me ill. I have gone to dr and all test results come out great. I am in good health and yet my body isn’t feeling it. I talk to God and pray but then I give up. I feel I am not worth it. I need to grow more in the faith and get closer to God. I know He loves me and will never abandon me. I know His love is the best love anyone could have. I just get discouraged at times and let my mind run loose. Please keep me in prayer. I will continue reading your emails and i have you on facebook also. Thank you for all you do.
I’m stepping out of my comfort zone as I jump into a leadership role this fall with our MOPS group. I’ve had doubts of thinking that some one else could surely do it better than me with a lot of things. No more! I know God has a plan and a purpose for me. He has equipped me, and will lead and strengthen me! I’m excited! And very thankful for your teachings and encouragements Renee! Blessings!
WOW! Thank you so much for sharing this today. I REALLY needed it today. I’ve done ALL the above that you mentioned except for downloading Chapter 1 – I have the book so I didn’t download the chapter 🙂
I DID download the Prayer Patterns from the Resource Page a few days ago – been looking forward to having that since She Speaks 🙂
I’m very excited to be able to participate in the study with Melissa and so many others. Sept. 19 (or 18th – whichever it is) will be here before we know it 🙂
What a timely message today. After moving out-of-state and away from all I’ve ever known, I have been extremely self-absorbed and self-focused. It’s actually been in the last few days that God has been speaking this to my heart and to put my focus back on Him. Praise God for your words of encouragement and for the message He’s given you to share. Thank you for boldly sharing it with us!!
I have read the Chapter One download and signed up for the Online Bible Study. I just finished the Hidden Joy Bible Study and am so looking forward to this one!! I really feel that now that I am beginning to lose my fear the confidence needs to come next!! I also liked your book on Facebook. Thank you so much for writing it!!
I am loaded with doubt and my confidence has taken a nosedive recently. My head knows that the circumstances are beyond any control that I have but my heart is fighting the battle of “not being good enough”, of “being a failure” and it is a constant battle. I have read Chapter 1 and received the 7 day doubt diet. I thank you for putting yourself out there with your struggles with doubt and how you’ve worked your way through. Thank you for sharing with us your journey with God so we might be helped with our doubts and lack of confidence.
Wow! I loved your story about the shadow. It made me realize how I block out God’s light with my negative thoughts. I lose confidence in myself and ask God to give me the strength and confidence to get me through my situation. I am the one who turned from God, He never turns from me and leaves me in the darkness. I will focus on Him and keep my face turned to His light. Thank you so much for sharing your story, it has made a hugh impact on how I lived my life and how I will live my life going forward.
You are a true blessing!
When I saw the summary of the book I just knew I wanted to read it, I also shared your website address by email with some friends at church. They too wanted to read it , get together to discuss the questions and find support. Last night was our first night to meet as a group and it exceeded my expectations. There was so much honesty and openness I was a little overwhelmed. I know God was with you when writing this book and He was with us last night. Thanks for being faithful to the call to write this book.
Renee, this is really speaking to me right now. I have just followed God’s call for me to go to Seminary. I’m in my second WEEK, and feeling VERY UNSTABLE and OVERWHELMED. I have printed your Spiritual Gifts Assessment because every time I take it, it comes out different. I printed your Promises to Personalize and Peace-guvung Promises. I am taking Old Testament I and the program is a 100% online program. You are considered a FULL time student if you take 2 classes a semester (the semester is broken into 2 halves). So I am going to school full-time and working full-time. I am going to Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Kansas City, MO, but live in Richmond, VA. Please PRAY!
I read today’s blog after meditating on Heb. 2:1 and 3:12-15 in my daily devotions. For me the key is allowing my thoughts to be made new and asking the Lord to control my thoughts. Last night, I asked the Holy Spirit to guard my thoughts and cast out the doubt that Satan wants to put in my mind to undo the progress that I make. He hates seeing the beautiful transformation that God is working in my life and my marriage and He tries his hardest to get at my feelings of hurt and doubt to get me to revisit them instead of turning to God’s transforming grace and love.
Only when we walk by faith, obey His Word and turn to our spirit can we find the confidence that God wants us to have. I find that abiding in Christ, loving God above all else and seeking first His Kingdom and righteousness brings me peace and enjoyment despite how dire my circumstances. I enjoyed your devotion on how we need to look away from the shadows of doubt and live in the light of God’s love in order to be released from fear and insecurity in living. You have given such practical advice on living in the presence of our Lord. Thank you.
Often there are times when I feel that God or anyone could love me based on some the things I have done. I just try and draw closer to God by daily reading and mediatation on the bible. That gives me strength and reminds me I am forgiven and a child of God. Your posts are so inspiring and real. Thank you, I hope to win a copy of your book!! Hugs, Kim
Your story rings true in my heart. How coming into the light, dispels the darkness and the lies we believe about ourselves.
Thank you so much. Am loving your writing and insight.
I needed this so bad. I want to win the battle against doubt and your book seems to be the battle plan. I hope to win it. As we face this economy without job security and no savings the doubts that I have are numerous. Its hard to look at four kids and wonder where the next meal is coming from. We are negative in our bank acct. And no answer to where the next check is coming from or if. BUT GOD. He can and will be our everything. He has to be.
Hi Renee, I am registered for the online study with Melissa…it is my very first online study. I have Chapter 1 from a previous download you made available and I have the 7-Day devotional guide downloaded on my Nook. Since I have found Proverbs 31 ministries, I no longer feel like I am the ‘only one’ who is plagued with doubt and insecurity; it is amazing how the enemy can cause us to feel so alone and yet even reading just a sampling of posts today, lets me know I am not. I hope is it comforting to others who will be doing the study to realize that there are many on a similar journey. Thank you for your obedience in making this book/study available so that we will be on roads to victory, acceptance and peace with ourselves.
The Lord is always right on time…I believe you were dropped into my life by divine intervention. I have always struggled with insecurities and self-doubt, being unworthy and inadequate. Your devotion today especially spoke to me. I cannot just dwell in the shadows any longer. I have been warring with the thoughts of doubt in my mind so much lately. I know that I am a sinner saved by God’s grace…that I am worthy to be called His child. But though I know it, I want to believe that I am worthy. You are a blessing and an encourager and I want to thank you for continuing to share your heart. I have downloaded your resources and would love to have the book to go along with them!
Wow. That is such a challenge. Sometimes my day goes from one doubt to the next. I have one great big doubt that eats away at me all the time. I printed out your promises to keep with me when the shadow of doubt threatens to envelop me. Thank you for this, Renee. I can see where a literal turning may be in order. I know He never leaves me or forsakes me. Why is it so hard to cling to Him? Blessings to you.
I, too, am constantly weighed down by doubt. Many many times the enemies lies whisper into my soul and cloud up my mind. I am working on getting Truth in there but it is a long process to change 30 + years of listening to lies. I beleive though that if I keep seeking Him, He will be faithful!
Crystie
I have actually dont all the things you mentioned. I cant wait to save up money to buy the book. I think it will really help me to live out who God called me to be instead of living defeated. Thank you for your willingness to be honest!
I have made some wrong choices and I have claimed Jer. 29:11-13 in my life for the past five years after a divorce from an unbeliever. I have discovered that the only thing that causes me to doubt myself is the ex husband. No matter how happy I am, he was the first one to point out my every fault every chance he got. I have had to cut all ties with him, so the lack of communication has lead to a nasty custody battle which will take place in just two weeks. In order to live in peace, beyond my doubts, I have decided to fight for my kids and continue to raise them in a single-parent, Christian home. When I decided to no longer live as a doormat Christian, God lifted up above the storm where the eagles fly. I will be a light in the courtroom. I will place my hand on a Bible that means nothing to him. I have no doubt that the truth will prevail!
My self-doubt has become paralyzing lately, so THANK YOU for this encouraging devotional and your new book. I’ve definitely downloaded all the resources you’ve made available and look forward to digging into each one!
Thanks for your honesty. You haved helped me look honestly at my own doubts and start believing the truth!
Hi,
I really need to boost my confidence after my divorce and being a single mother, its hard emotionally and financially, i just worry all the time and i even worry about getting sick from all this worring… I already like your page and i also got the devotions, and i also just watched the video. Thanks for being open and let God use you to help others with the same issues!
Renee,
Thank you for share your story with me. I know that when I seek God He always provides me with His answer. I am a Christian woman who has seen the power of God’s transformation in my life, however, I have struggled with confidence and self-worth, after reading your message today, I realized how I have allowed the shadows of doubt to overcast my focus on God.
Your message touched deep into my heart, it reminded me that I belong to God and that He loves me. I realized my focus had become self-centered, paralyzing and overpowering me from turning to Him. I’m determined with the help of God to complete depend on Him and to focus on how He sees me. No longer will I allow doubt to enter cross the threshold of my mind. Through God I have all power.
Thank you,
I really struggle with this, choices I have made in my life, and wondering how God can possibly forgive me and help me out of my despair. I think I cling to doubt and the feeling that because of my choices i deserve this and the bad things that happen. I hope to gain the confidence so many of you have found. I have known Jesus all my life but still do not feel confident that he wants me to be happy.
Debbie….my heart breaks for you but at the same time you need to know that I can truly understand. I have made some horrible decisions in my life, I have made some huge mistakes. I continue to wrestle with what I have done, yet daily, Jesus reminds me that its not about what I did, its all about what He did. He finished it at the Cross. I believe that with all my heart. BUT I understand where you are at…..there are days that the lies of the enemy creep in and bring along with it doubt of forgiveness, fear of punishment for my sins, and the thoughts that I deserve ‘this’. Please know that Jesus loves you, He has forgiven you, and He can help you forgive yourself. Let Him love you like no other can love you and if you know Jesus like you say you do, then you would know that His desire is for you to be happy in Him, not in things of this world. He loves you so much…..He died for you. He died to forgive you. Rejoice in the freedom that comes with the Cross. Celebrate His love! John 10:10 tells us that He came that we may have life and life to the full. Satan came to steal, kill and destroy. Satan was defeated at the Cross…..dont let him win this. Celebrate the joy that Jesus died to give us and stop believing the lies of the enemy.
Janee,
You replied to Debbie but what you wrote has moved me to tears. Thank you and God bless.
Debbie, my heart aches for you, too. I struggled with this at one time and ended up very depressed. I finally went to a Christian counselor that said Christ had forgiven me, but I had not forgiven myself. She said that when I would not forgive myself, it was like saying that Christ dying on the cross was not good enough to cover my sins. I was blown away. There is nothing in our past too big or too bad to be covered be the blood of Jesus. He knew what ours sins would be before He willing gave His life so that we could spend eternity with Him. Why? Because He loves us that much! Debbie, Jesus loves you that much and He wants you to be filled with joy! Praying for you my precious sister!
Renee,
Thank you for reminding me that doubt is caused by my turning from the light. I used to doubt everything about myself and sometimes even God’s ability in me. He has brought me from that childhood of being overweight and thinking thoughts that weren’t from God to being a confident woman of God. Yet at times the enemy whispers those thoughts and I turn to listen instead of looking toward the light of God’s love. When I read His Word, I am reminded not to believe the lies of the enemy any longer but to walk in the truth.
Thank you for being an obedient mirror!
Renee….i just LOVE LOVE LOVE you!!!! Your devo this morning and your blog are speaking directly to the core of my heart this morning! “When we focus on ourselves and how inadequate we feel, or what others are thinking about us, we cast a shadow of doubt in our minds and block the light of God’s Truth in our hearts.” This is the definition of my life right now. I am drowning in that shadow and so desperately want to come up for air! I never used to be insecure and certainly never thought of myself as weak. But in the last couple of years of my life….so much has changed to cause me to doubt my EVERY move! I feel like a failure as a wife, mother and friend. I feel an insecurity that I’ve never know before! I’ve been praying for a change of heart and you, my sister in Christ, are showing me the way!!! Thank God for working in you and speaking through you!!! I will start today focusing on His strengths instead of my weaknesses and using my doubts to draw me closer to Him rather than pushing me further and further away!!!
Thank you for a wonderful devotional. So many times our problems come from a microscopic approach to looking at ourselves, how we don’t measure up, how others are better, what we are doing wrong, what others think of us. I am just so tired of worrying about other people. At 46 years old, you would think that self-doubt of a little girl would be gone, but somehow it lingers.
My goal is to focus on God, on his love for me and his unconditional acceptance and to quit looking at myself with a magnifying mirror that only shows blemishes.
Thank you for shining light.
Renee, I thank God everyday for you! You helped change my life. Love todays devotion and can’t wait for the Bible Study to begin! Love you hugs to you!
I wasn’t always a woman of doubt and insecurity. I use to be extremely confident and that confidence encouraged others to strengthen their own confidence in self. Somewhere alone the way, I lost myself. I started obsessing over what others thought of me because of some bad decisions I made. I am a young adult and self image is everything to us. For about two years now, I have limited myself from truly reaching my full potential due to what others may say. I am a God fearing woman, I’ve seen the miracles he has performed in my life. Like Renee says, I guess I have been waiting for a zap of confidence from God. It was not by chance that I stumbled across this message. I have signed up for the 7-day doubt diet and ready for God to truly work in and through me. It’s funny because I have been asking God for signs all week about what’s next and where I should go. It is such a blessing to know he always answers our prayers. I can’t wait to see what God will show to me over the next 7 days and truly grateful for Renee and her ministry.
I thank the Lord for you, Renee Swope! I read with many tears, today’s devotional in Encouragement for Today! It’s like you were writing to me, personally! I am living in the shadow & am blocking the light of His love; His encouragement; His being, in my life…..
Somehow, you hit the ‘nail on the head’, in this devotional! Lately, I have not felt close to Him. It’s been hard work to draw closer to Him, all the while, knowing that I must! I still do too much for people, trying to be more to people, instead of to Him. And all the while, being knocked down, for doing too much! My Christian Sister, has bought the book, “A Confident Heart” for me, I just haven’t gotten it from her. I have just finished reading, “One Thousand Gifts”, by Ann Voskamp. Oh to try to be thankful in ALL things! Even though, one is feeling so unworthy of pretty much everything! Life has been tough, to say the least! I cannot thank YOU enough for writing to me today! God Bless YOU & Keep YOU in His light, for always! Sent with love, from one who knows how you felt that morning in the bathroom! Angela <
This is a lot to take in. I am constantly weighed down by the shadow of doubt. It has been something I have struggled with all my life. I can actually trace it back to a turning point where I believe it went from a shyness that I could overcome to debilitating doubt that I could not. Even now I am finding it hard to start turning back to the light. I know with God’s help all things are possible, though. Thanks for the devotional today! It’s something I really need to work on.
I can so relate to this!! I have been filled with such disgust, doubt, failure, etc. I have been going through depression for over 30 years. I have wasted so much of my life, and effected those around me. I struggle, and I want to change, but I do nothing. I hate myself. I want to change and become the person God made me to be. I pray and hope but each day I end up in the same place. Thank you Renee for sharing your deepest thoughts. It is reassuring to know we are not alone. I thank everyone for their honesty in their comments too. I pray that we ALL get over this mountain, and come into God’s light.
Irene,
I feel like I just read my own words. I to suffer from depression and self-doubt. I pray for the strength and the wisdom to be the woman God wants me to be instead of what other people want me to be. You are right we are not alone. In my prayers. God Bless!