Just to Be Close to You

If you found your way here through my devotion“Up Close and Personal”, featured today through Proverbs 31 Ministries and Crosswalk, I’m glad you stopped by. My blog is where I share the journey of my heart. I hope you’ll stay a while, and come back any time you just need a place to connect your heart to God and other women in your journey.

As I mentioned in my devotion, that day as I scraped paint, I had lots of time to think. I thought about how much I can be like my house and how far God has brought me.I thought about the years I worked so hard to live my life in such a way that from a distance, everything about me looked “fine.”

Yet on the inside I was struggling with things I didn’t want anyone to see…shame from my past, fears of my future, insecurities that paralyzed my heart. Living up to others expectations and losing my identity with each dreaded attempt to keep others at a distance. Dark shadows of doubt surrounded my heart, and the darkness of depression threatened to swallow me whole.

I wanted to be known and to be loved for who I was. I wanted someone to see past the exterior façade and look into the secret places of my heart. Yet, I feared if others knew me they could never love me. So, I buried myself in non-stop activity. I did everything I could do to keep me from having to process my pain. Then to make sure no one got too close, I pulled away from relationships with those who knew me best and loved me most. I created what I feared: I was alone.

By the time I was 22, I was exhausted. I couldn’t pretend anymore. I ran out of paint. The columns of my life started crumble. The sills around the windows of my heart began to rot. I needed help but I’d pushed everyone away. The only one who I could talk to was God so I cried out for Him to takeover my life.

Over time He revealed Himself to me – through sermons at a nearby church I’d visit, through books I read, but more than anything through His Word. I read stories that echoed the struggles and desires of my heart. I read words that gave me hope; that told me that I was not alone. Words that led me to a Savior who wanted an up close and personal relationship with me. A relationship where even with my flaws and failures I felt accepted.A relationship where I could be known and loved!

It’s what He came to offer each of us. He came up close because He wanted to know us personally. John 3:16 says that God loved us so much that He sent His Son into the world so that we could know Him and believe in Him. Verse 17 explains that God sent Jesus to save us, not to condemn us. So, no matter where we’ve been or where we’re headed, He meets us right where we are.

I want to encourage you to read a story that reveals the depth of God’s desire to have an up close and personal relationship with you. It’s about a women at a well who met Jesus while she was running errands – and running from others (4:7-30, 39-42). Even if you’ve read it before, I hope you’ll read it again in light of today’s devotion.

Beginning this weekend, and through next week, I’m doing a mini on-line study, where I’ll share something each day that I’ve learned from this story. I’ll have questions and things we can ponder together as we uncover some treasures of truth hidden in this up close and personal conversation between Jesus and a woman just like you and me. It’s my favorite story because with and without words, Jesus says, “I came all this way, just to be close to you!”

I’ll be giving away a CD on Monday.that includes my personal testimony woven in with a teaching on the woman at the well, called Searching for Satisfaction. To enter the drawing, leave your email or share your thoughts.

• Are there things that keep you from letting others and even God get close to you?
• What does it evoke in your heart when you hear that Jesus wants an up close and personal relationship with you?

To enter the drawing or to simply share your thoughts or questions, click “comments” below. Be sure to leave your email so I can contact you if you win.