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Renee Swope

Encouraging and equipping moms to parent with God's grace and confidence.

Just Enough Light for The Step I’m Taking

Thank you for your prayers and notes. God used your Words to calm my heart and love on me! I read each verse and heeded your encouragement. My heart found such comfort in them.After I blogged Monday, and asked for prayers, I decided to trace God’s fingerprints over the past week and look for His confirmations or lack thereof. I just have to share with you all that He has done:

We found out last week that our fingerprints had expired. This could stop the whole referral process and put our adoption on hold. So JJ and I both went last Wednesday to get our fingerprints done again – without an appointment. It was a crazy day because Andrew also had his elementary school graduation and lunch. But we got in and got our prints done!Wednesday night we emailed USCIS to request expedited processing. Thursday morning we got an email from the USCIS that our fingerprints were approved – in less than 24 HOURS!! That is incredible. The director of adoptions told us she’d send notification to some the Embassy in Addis that our records are now valid. Seriously, that is some God moving progress!

I went by our Pediatrician’s office Wednesday on my way to the fingerprinting office. Our Dr was swamped with patients and meetings all afternoon so I didn’t get to see him. I left Baby Aster’s health records, photos and paperwork and prayed Dr. Glass would see them and call us that night so we’d know what step to take next.

Dr. Glass called Weds night at 8:30pm. He spent over 20 mins asking questions and explaining what he could read on the baby’s medical report. He felt good about her health but wanted to know more about her progress in the last month – socially and developmentally. He requested to talk to the Dr in Ethiopia to ask more questions. We were blown away by the personal interest he was taking in us.

On Thursday morning, before we could even send his request to our agency, the agency emailed us an update on Baby Aster’s healt that came to them overnight from the Ethiopian Dr. It had almost every single one of our Drs questions answered in a progress report. Baby Aster has almost doubled her weight in a month and is growing in length and head circumference.

We couldn’t set up a conf call so we emailed questions to the Dr. in Ethiopia. Then we waited all of Thurs and Friday for our Dr. to look over the new progress report. The biggest thing we wanted to know is if Baby Aster makes eye contact and interacts with people, so we could see if there were any neurological defects from her malnutrition.

In the midst of all of this we were praying for Joshua to feel called to this huge change in plans b/c he’s been hesitant about getting a baby. Thurs morning I read Aster’s background to him, why she was orphaned and talked about what babies are like since he’s been around so few. We have said all along this is a family decision and we all have to be 100% sure it’s God’s plan. During my prayer and journaling time I asked God to please move in Joshua’s heart as a confirmation for us.

Joshua came to me a later that day and said, “Mom, I’m okay now with getting a baby.” I asked what had changed and he said, “I don’t know but I feel like this is what we are SUPPOSED to do. I am actually excited now. I don’t know what happened but I am more excited than I was about getting older girls.” Well, I knew what happened. God had moved – way faster than I expected!

We left Thurs night for New York. On Friday, our Dr called to say he was pleased with Baby Aster’s growth but still wanted to know how she was doing socially and neurologically. No word from Ethiopia so we knew we would not hear or know anything until Monday.

Monday came and so did the Dr’s report, stating Baby Aster is very playful and shows no more signs of malnutrition and no sign of any neuroligical delays or concerns. All our questions had been answered. But I was not in a good place. I had had a ton of time to think about the reality of having a baby. As I shared on Weds, my imagination and concerns were running wild!

I had been praying continually about my concern, and all the changes a baby will bring. I’d told God I needed to know how He’d provide help. I’d been praying He would bring someone to us. Someone we know, love and trust. I’m not sure how much help I’ll need; I just needed to know it would be there. Friday morning, I’d called LeAnn at work and shared with her my junk. She was so sweet and assured me that we’d figure it all out in the office and offload whatever I needed.

Wednesday after I blogged and journaled all the ways God had smoothed out these rough places in our path, I told JJ I needed us to talk alone and pray. He knew I was struggling. We went for a drive and he reminded me of promises God has fulfilled in our lives over the past 15 years. Ways He has lead us down paths we have not known, and turned our darkness into light. Rough places He has smoothed and impossible mountains He had moved. ( Isaiah 42:16-17)

He reminded me that

sometimes God provides just enough light for the step we are on right now. And when we take that step, He gives light for the next step. Then he assured me that God and he will stand in all the gaps for me. We prayed and I cried.I thanked God for all that He had done but told God again that I wanted a big confirmation from Him. Something clear and bold printed. I opened my cell phone to check to see if the agency had emailed us about our deadline to decide and there was an email from my friend Bev.

I wept as I read it. She’d read my blog and shared how she could only imagine how hard it must be to think of starting over with a baby. She wanted me to know that she woud be “honored” to help me in any way, and would be there if I needed childcare or just relief on days when I feel overwhelmed. I hadn’t even thought of asking Bev. God wanted it to be HIS idea. This was my BIG confirmation. A huge peace came over me. God had provided what I told Him I needed – someone we know, love and trust who will be there if I need her. My Elizabeth!

Were my fears all gone? No. Were my questions all answered? No. Did I have peace? Yes, and nervous excitement. I knew God was telling me to walk in faith and trust Him in every way to provide every bit of what we need. I sensed He wants me to expect His sweetest blessings in ways we have not known because we are walking along paths we have not known and trusting Him to light the way.

So my friends, we are GETTING A BABY!!!!

I’ll tell you more about the process when we get home next week. For now, I have more vacation to enjoy with my wonderful family of boys which will be transformed by pink precious girly sweetness sometimes very soon!

We drove all day yesterday from Lake Placid to NYC. Today through Friday we’re spending in the city!

On Friday, I have a devo running about respecting our husbands so be sure to stop by to see what He’s teaching me about that, too! He’s always working on this heart of mine.

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Comments

  2. Hallelujah! God is so good and ever so faithful to meet us where we are. Reading the "play by play" orchestration God presented gave me 'holy bumps.' That is always my personal confirmation of His presence and His "yes."

    And what a wonderful Godly husband you have…you are so trully blessed!

    Thank you for your ministry to all us women out here…sharing what God is doing in your own life blesses ours. I'm so thankful I've come across your site. You have a faithful follower now and little Aster will have an awesome Prov. 31 mother.

    Rejoice and Lift Him Up for his Peace will continue to shower over you.
    Ps 29:10-11

  3. Wow, Renee, your words bring tears! What an amazing story and how wonderful to see God at work in so many ways. I have no doubt you will all be blessed! The God we serve is mighty – what an example your obedience and seeking Him are for all of us. The prayers will continue! I hope you enjoy the vacation – there will never be another the same, but that's a good thing!
    Blessings, Jill

  4. The adventure never ends, does it friend?

    Congrats to you all!

    Your P31 girls love you and those of us who have girls will teach you how to tie bows and match socks with the outfit. Smile

  5. I am so excited for you guys I could just bust! God is so good, and so wonderfully unpredictable. How fun His sense of adventure is! I can hardly wait for the day this sweet little girl gets to meet her Momma! Congrats!

  8. I appreciate your analysis of God's provision in your decision making process. This encourages me to journal more so that I can go back and look for the confirmations or no confirmations to my request. Thank you for sharing your story.

  9. WOW! WOW! WOW! How awesome! How God!

    The other day – cried tears of compassion for you. Today – tears of joy!

    Streams of Mercy never ceasing call for songs of highest praise!

  11. The news about baby Aster is so exciting and wonderful. How blessed she will be to have you for her mommy.:0) Thank you for sharing your journey with us. It is so important to see God working in the lives of others. It seems quite evident that He is saying yes to all of your questions. I am happy for your family. Looking forward to continuing on the journey with you through your blog. God's blessings to you…

    ~ Leanna

  12. Wow, Renee, Wow! This is SO exciting! To think that a precious baby in Africa has been hand-picked by God for you and your family is utterly amazing.

    I can only imagine your excitement. ANd I praise God for his goodness and provision, and most of all, for His peace.

    Woo-hoo! 🙂

  14. I am so excited for you. I cannot wait for you to post pictures. I will pray for you and the adjustment for your whole family. How old is she? Did I miss that?

    Consider yourself hugged!

    • Troi oi B lam N buon cuoi qua. Dac biet la N moi ship mot em lens ve cho B nua chu. Ko dc dat ten cho con gai la lens nghe rat la “loan luan”. Uhm neu dat la L’Occitane thi hinh nhu la B van chua let it go roi

    • I am getting so excited too. I can’t wait to see how many bags that is collected. And to let you all know I am bring bags too. I just can’t keep up with the bags that everyone saves for me. So I have a bag started for the bags I don’t want to use. See you all again in a few days. Jennifer

    • I am obviously very slow on these matters. Please explain to me in fifth graders’ terms how a political cartoon that merges the recent Chimp attack (national news) with the monstrosity of the Stimulus Law—drafted and approved by Congress—equals a racial slur towards President Obama? Why not Pelosi or Reid?I grew How many hundreds of TV commercials depict monkeys in office, political and corporate settings? Was this “racist” cartoonist waiting for an image of any monkey or chimp so that we could launch a racist cartoon at Obama?So what are the new banned images from political cartoons and media? No monkeys, chimps?

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  15. God has been so good with His confirmations to you, JJ and the boys. As I read through your minute by minute updates I kept sensing the word yes, yes, yes. All of God's promises are yes and amen through Christ Jesus!

  16. Wow Renee! I'm so excited and prayerful for you guys. God is totally going to amaze and be glorified even further through this process.

    I loved what JJ said about God shining the light on the steps. My husband just quit his job yesterday to start his own business. Scary stuff in this world's economy but we know that God's economy is not broke! We are taking that first huge step and trusting God to shine the light on the rest of the path. Wowzers, I'm pumped!

    Paula G.

  17. PRAISE THE LORD!

    Congratulations and God bless you…He indeed gives us just enough light for the step we're taking and it's PERFECT!

    Blessings and peace!

  18. Renee,

    What a wonderful testimony of God's faithfulness and love for all concerned. Baby Aster will be so blessed with her new family. It will be such an excited time as this unfolds. Your lives will new be the same, amen.

    We did foster care for a 10 year old girl about 8 years ago. It was a family decision as well. I was so proud of my boys for making the sacrifices needed for her. It wasn't easy, but hearts and lives were changed for eternity. You must be so proud of your sons!

    My friends threw me a surprise baby shower when she came to live with us. 🙂 It was so amazing, I didn't even have to go through 9 months of weight gain.

    May God bless your family including Aster and unite you soon and safe.
    Much love and praise to the Father,
    Diane

  19. I have been following your site off and on over the last year. Thank you for sharing this life experience. I can very much relate to your feelings of wanting God to show you the right path. I have gone a year of the pains of not getting pregnant. My doctor told me last week that she cannot find a reason we aren't getting pregnant and that was just more light that is leading us to explore adoption; something I have always been drawn to. It is like my heart grew and a feeling of peace in His plan like I haven't all year.

  20. LOVE reading the minute by minute updates of God's journey for you and your family! Such a special season for you guys and it's so neat to hear your heart and delve into God's heart. Thank you for sharing this path with us! We're here for you and will help with P31office things and Baby Aster however we can 🙂
    Love, Samantha